Original subtitles

Do you like spaghetti?

- I do. - Great.

When you were young, did you ever hate

one of your parents?

I don't think so.

- No? I did. I hated my dad. - Oh, really?

I was very angry at him

because he wasn't there. I put my parents through hell.

I drank like a fish.

- What did you drink? - Vodka, tequila. I did drugs.

Marijuana...

- acid. - You did acid?

- Yep. - What?

- Cocaine. - You did cocaine?

Yep.

And that sent me

into a lot of destructive behaviors.

Mm-hmm.

What are you doing with the noodles there?

- I'm seeing how done they are. - Oh, okay.

Yeah.

♪ ♪

It's beautiful in rural Oregon.

And the town of Eagle Creek,

my home base for this project, definitely has a lot to offer.

But if what you need is a consistent supply

of professional actors

for all the rehearsals you have in the works...

- Bye. - Bye. See you later.

...you need to take regular trips to a big city.

You need to go where the actors are.

♪

During this process,

I've discovered that an actor's sense of authenticity

can vary vastly from one to another.

And I wanted a way to create

a standard for the level of realism

I needed for this project.

I had recently launched The Fielder Method Studio

in LA's NoHo Arts District as a recruitment camp of sorts,

to find and train up-and-coming actors

in the specific techniques needed for this show.

Unlike a normal role where the worst thing

that can happen is, you know, someone changes the channel

if they don't like your performance,

you know what I mean. Like, with this show,

if your performance isn't accurate,

you could ruin someone's life.

♪

Preparing an actor for a rehearsal

is sort of like a spy mission.

And I wanted them to learn how to do it themselves,

as well as improve on mistakes we had made in the past.

So, is your method based upon, like, literally a slice of life

with this person and then creating reenactments

- based off this one experience? - My point is

- that this didn't go far enough. - Okay.

Sounds like we're gonna secretly follow somebody around

- for a while. - Stalking?

- Stalking? - Yeah. Yes.

You guys...

Okay, you guys are getting ahead of this. Good.

But I often find myself intimidated by actors.

Stella Adler says you can be representational,

which is action based.

Or you could be representational,

which is behavior based.

S... S...

- Stella Adler. - Stella Adler.

- And then, yeah. - What is her thing?

They have a way of channeling

other people's emotions that I don't fully understand.

The most playful chakra is your third eye, right?

It's your creative mind as an actor.

That's where you wanna live.

Just in hearing you talk about this, um,

it's like the Suzuki Method which is physical

- and it's about... - Suzuki?

Yeah, and it's about filling the form.

Okay. And what's the best way to fill in the form?

Just do the action.

- Do the action. - Yeah.

Like in the deep reality of the action.

- Sure. - Yeah.

And by the time I gave them

their first assignment, I was feeling a little insecure.

Okay. So now, we're gonna put

some of what you guys learned today, into action.

You're gonna go out into the real world

and pick a real person to become your primary.

And you're gonna secretly observe and interact with them,

and find out as much as you can about them.

And then, you're gonna come back tomorrow

dressed like them. Okay?

Any other questions or...

- Okay, cool. See you later. - Bye.

After spending time with people,

I'm often left wondering what they actually think of me.

So, once the class was gone, I tried a little experiment.

I decided to recreate the class using different actors

to portray each person,

so I could relive the day from a student's perspective.

My hope was to gain insight

into how each lesson made them feel,

so I could improve it for tomorrow.

With this show...

if your performance isn't accurate...

you could ruin a person's life.

I picked a random student to inhabit.

An actor named Thomas,

who was sitting on the side of the room.

Putting myself in his head space,

I noticed this teacher wasn't very good

at connecting with us.

Your character research needs to be sourced

through real-world interactions

with the person you're portraying.

It didn't seem like he had ever taught

an acting class before.

Is it weird... to put my name, like, in a method?

- Or... - No.

Everyone does that, yeah.

I wondered if my fellow students

felt the same way.

But I couldn't really see their faces well

because of how the chairs were arranged.

We were all facing forwards.

And this formal environment

made the whole class a little less fun.

So, your assignment for the rest of the day is,

you're gonna go out into the real world

and secretly observe your primary.

But it felt like the method itself made sense.

Nathan explained it all clearly

and it was actually sort of intriguing.

Maybe there was something to it.

I guess I'd have to keep taking the class to find out.

- Hey. - Hey.

- We're circling. That's cool. - Yeah, circle today.

Hang out. Have a seat. How's it going?

It's good to see you. Hello.

♪

Um, I asked her how her day was going,

how long was her shift. She's working till midnight.

She's really tired.

I found her Instagram through geotags.

- Wow. - Then I found her Twitter

- and I found her TikTok. - Good. Good.

She's having...

...she's having a breast reduction soon.

Her name is Amanda.

I felt way more in sync with the actors today.

The vibe in the room felt so much better.

Yeah. So, my primary's name is Henry. He is a barber.

- You had to get your hair cut then? - Yeah.

- You got a haircut? - I got my hair cut and I...

Yeah, it was nice. Yeah.

- So, it was good and like... - Okay, cool. Good.

But I noticed some students were struggling

with the assignment.

- Thomas, what about you? - Uh...

- Well, I went to an Acai Place. - Acai?

It's kinda like a smoothie bowl.

Okay.

And I thought this would be a good opportunity

to show them I knew what I was doing.

I noticed you didn't get as... as much, um...

personal information about your primary

- as some of the others. - Mm-hmm.

Um, is there a reason or...

The environment kind of begs for you to go through the line

- and then leave. - Right.

Uh, the physical space is asking you not to be there.

Yeah. You know, you... When you got your order,

maybe spill it on the counter and he would come to your aid,

and that would break down some of those social barriers

that you're afraid to cross.

- Just disrupt the situation? - Yeah.

And then maybe, you know, it might lead

to a more personal conversation perhaps.

Okay. Gotcha.

When I relived the day from Thomas's perspective,

it proved my instincts

to be right.

Thomas, what about you?

So, my primary was at an acai bowl place.

Acai bowl?

Yeah. Acai bowl, kind of like a smoothie.

The circle felt just as good

from a student's perspective as it was from the teacher's.

And I felt really special when Nathan pulled me aside

to give me one-on-one guidance after class.

And that'll help break down some of the social barriers

that you're afraid to cross.

- Thank you. - All right? Good luck. Good luck.

- Thank you. - Okay. Great.

After reliving day two, I basically found no issues.

I felt Nathan gave every student a lot of attention

and made us feel comfortable in the process.

Maybe I had nothing to worry about after all.

♪

It was nice to be back in LA...

back in my real home.

Once in a while, I would try to check in with Angela.

One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

One, two. One, two. One, two. One, two. One. One. One. One

- Wow! All right. - Oh, my God.

Now that the actors had studied their primaries

for two days...

it was time to physically embody them.

♪

Um, you use tape and string, is that...

- I don't know. - You don't know? Okay.

- I don't know what's... - Um... What's that tool here?

But over here, I got a couple things going.

Um... This is a...

tie iron.

- Tie iron? - Tie iron, yeah.

- T-I-E? - I believe so.

Bananas under the cans.

But I now knew that to take on the mind

of a stranger, it wasn't enough to just talk to them.

The level of immersion had to be deeper.

I am in the process of arranging for all of you

to work in the actual jobs of your primary.

Or at least as... as close as we can get.

- Is that cool, pretty... - Yeah.

...or is that dumb?

I don't wanna work.

I was noticing the more extreme

my method became,

the more these actors seemed to respect me.

If I'm not gonna go all the way and get out of my comfort zone,

how am I gonna know where I can go?

So, yeah, thank you for just the space, you know.

But when I caught up with Thomas, something felt off.

Yeah, so... so how did it go? Yeah, what happened?

- It was... - Did you get personal? Did you?

Yeah. The deeper conversation was hard to accomplish.

Did you spill your bowl or anything? Or...

- Did not spill the bowl. - Okay, yeah.

But I instead went with, uh...

telling him that I lost my lucky guitar pick

that I got from my dad.

- Okay. - And then...

- Is that true? - No, that was a lie.

- Oh, okay, okay, got it. - Yeah.

I mean, I don't really like lying to people,

- in general. - Yeah, neither do I.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. It's, uh, it's weird, but...

this is all so fascinating, so what are you gonna do?

Right.

Thomas's ambiguous emotions

were hard for me to read, but then I got the sense

he had been uncomfortable with this method

since the very first day.

So, yeah. That's what makes me feel

- kinda weird about it sometimes. - About doing these... this...

...specific kind of stalking thing.

The Fielder Method.

Which was interesting because I had not felt that

when I was him.

So rather than recreating today's lesson,

I decided to experience that first day again

to see if I had missed something.

- Hey, I'm Nathan. - Thomas.

- Thomas? Good to meet you. - Yeah. Good to meet you.

- Uh, yeah, have a seat. - Sure, yeah.

- And, uh, just hang out. - Okay, great.

This time, I was focused

on really getting into his mindset.

So I just kept saying to myself in my head,

"Your name is Thomas and you're an actor."

"How do you feel?"

I have a show that requires a specific type

- of performance. - Almost immediately,

I felt a rush of excitement come over me when I remembered

there were cameras filming me.

HBO cameras.

I love being on camera.

But I wanted to play it cool, like I didn't care that much.

With this show, if your per... If your performance

isn't accurate...

you could ruin someone's life.

Wait, what is this show?

Is this a show about an acting class?

Am I supposed to be acting? Something doesn't make sense.

If you're training actors for a show,

why would you be filming the training?

I wanted to ask,

but I was worried it would seem rude.

I didn't wanna stand out. I wanted to impress Nathan.

"Fielder Method" on three.

- One, two, three. - Fielder Method!

All right, thank you guys. All right.

Hi, thank you for coming to the first day

of the Fielder Method, we're... so excited to have you.

If you wanna participate in the show,

you just need to sign this appearance release.

- Okay. - Thank you.

Oh, wow. There are so many pages!

I don't know any of these legal terms.

This would take me hours to read.

Thank you so much.

But everyone else is signing it,

so it must be all right.

Uh, it's all standard. Signature is on the fourth page.

- Right. Sorry, yeah. Okay. - Yeah, no problem

- Great, we'll see you tomorrow. - Yeah.

Reliving the day again as Thomas made me realize

there was a whole other layer to his experience

- I hadn't considered. - Thank you so much.

- Thanks again for today. - Yeah. Thank you.

I'll see you. Yeah.

And I wondered if was going far enough.

♪

I had just sent these actors off

to work for an entire week as someone else.

But how much is enough?

How do you ever know you truly understand someone?

So, I started visiting Thomas working at the acai bowl place.

- Hey! - Hey! How you doing?

Good. How are you?

Going through the exact experience

he had with his primary.

- How many siblings do you have? - Pardon me?

- How many siblings? - Brother, two sisters.

- Brother, two sisters? - Yeah.

Do you want Nutella, peanut butter, almond butter?

And returned to class the next morning

to live the second day again.

I'm a dog walker for this dog walking app

and my primary was this director

and I... I actually got into his house.

But this time, it felt different.

I think you're the first person in the history of this project

to actually get inside their primary's home. Um...

It's amazing. Wow!

I think that deserves a round of applause. Yeah.

And I began to question the tactics

this teacher was encouraging.

You spill your bowl on the counter and...

see how he responds to that.

But every night when I went home,

it was still my house.

My marble coffee table. My TV.

My black and white toilet.

The illusion was shattered.

So, I suggested to Thomas that he move into an apartment

that reflects the living situation

of his primary, to immerse himself fully.

Did you... did you find out his living situation?

Yeah. I found out that he lives

with the couple of his band mates,

actually pretty close to here. Uh, Sherman Oaks area.

- Okay. - Mm-hmm.

Cool. Uh, how soon can you move?

As soon as I have to.

So, I rented him a similar place

and hired two actors to play his roommates.

All right. So, this is, uh...

- Tex and Matt. - S'up man?

- They'll be your new roommates. - Hey.

I told him I would collect his mail for him

and water his plants while he was away.

Plant in my bathroom.

- Just a little bit. - Okay.

And be careful 'cause it'll overflow

- the little water catch dish. - All right, sure. Great.

- All right. Have fun. - Okay. See you.

See you.

But I really wanted to do more than that.

So, while Thomas was going deeper

into his character...

I would go deeper into mine.

♪

♪

♪

I began living in his home...

eating what he eats...

playing what he plays...

using the weapons he uses...

reading what he reads...

sleeping where he sleeps.

I was now Thomas 24/7.

I continued following the lesson plan

until I was working at an Ubatuba also.

A different one from Thomas, so he wouldn't know.

He... he lives with a... a couple of his band mates

in Sherman Oaks...

- All right. - ...in, like, an apartment.

Okay. Cool.

How soon can you move?

It was beginning to dawn on me

how much I was asking of these students...

This is Tex. And this is Matt.

- Hey. - They'll be playing your roommates.

- Nice to meet you. - How are you?

...and the sacrifices they're willing to make

in pursuit of their dreams.

Maybe I could get your keys.

Uh...

Why... Why do you need my keys?

- I can look after your plants. - Oh, sure. Yeah.

Or get your mail while you're here.

But no matter how deep I went,

there were still parts of Thomas that were a mystery to me.

But maybe that's as close as you can get.

And that last step in understanding someone

is always just a guess.

♪

All right, Ashley.

When they finished their week of work,

I had all the actors return for a final showcase.

♪

That looks like two inches.

All right. Sam.

It's hard to know what exactly is hidden

beneath the smile of an actor.

- Would you like your bowl, sir? - Thomas.

But once in a while, it's nice to just pretend

that everything's okay.

- "Fielder Method" on three. - One, two, three.

Fielder Method!

I was in LA longer than I had planned to be,

and I was sort of nervous to return home again...

to get back into family life. I wasn't sure how it would feel.

- Hey, Dad. - Oh, hey!

- Hi. - Uh, is, uh, Angela here?

Uh...

- Hug? Can I get a hug? - Oh, yeah, yeah. Course. Hey.

- Good to see you. - Yeah, how are you?

Good... um...

Just gonna put my stuff upstairs.

- Oh, okay. - So, yeah.

♪

Oh... yeah.

Maybe I can. Maybe I can show up.

It could be fun! It could be fun!

Everyone was being so warm and welcoming,

making me feel at home.

But for some reason, that felt wrong.

I was telling him that he's more mainstream

and I'm more underground.

Like, I like to find eclectic underground artists.

Adam was 15 now. I had been gone for nine years.

Was this really how he would see me?

Maybe I needed to make some adjustments.

♪

- Hey. - Hey.

- What's up, Dad? - Mind if I come in?

Yeah, no problem. What's up?

- How's it going? - Ah, just, uh...

Trying to write some songs, sorta.

- Oh, yeah. Cool. - Yeah.

Do you mind if I talk to you for a sec, as you?

What's your name again?

Adam.

No, no, like, could I talk to you as... as the actor?

- Oh. - What's your real name?

- Oh, Joshua. Joshua, yeah. Joshua. - Josh. Josh. All right, Josh.

Sorry, yeah. I know we talked

about never breaking character but...

Yeah. Oh, okay, okay. So, just...

Okay, so, we're in, uh...

Yeah, just you for a moment.

I guess... Okay, so your dad comes home after being gone

for nine years. How do you think you'd really feel?

Maybe resentment to him.

- Maybe a little bit. - Uh-huh.

Just as me personally. Especially if...

he comes home and it's almost like,

"Hey, what's up? You doing good?"

- Mm-hmm. - That... That would be...

I wouldn't like that at all.

I think I... I think 'cause then, it's still your dad, but it's just like...

It's like this guy like, "You didn't take care of me."

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So, you know,

it's... it's like, it's like that sort of thing.

Do you mind if we try me

coming home again, but using that?

- Uh... like that... that feeling? - Yeah.

- Yeah, totally, I don't... Yeah. Hundred percent. - Okay. Okay, cool.

Hey!

Look who decided to show up.

Good.

♪

Do you know anyone or any friends of yours

who have been through anything similar to this?

Like, dad not around situation or...

Um... Yeah, I... I know a couple people.

Do you think you'd be able to just...

Maybe spend time with one of them

or the friend and take it in, or...

Hmm, yeah. I, um...

I think that's actually a great idea.

I think I can definitely do that.

Hey.

How you doing?

You wanna see a card trick or something,

- like a magic trick? - No, Dad. I'm not five.

Yeah, he's been like in and out of jail a lot.

- Juvenile. Juvie. - Juvenile?

Um, I think he actually has a kid on the way.

- He has a kid? - Just with like someone... yeah.

- Just with someone. - So what age was he having sex?

- Like 13, probably, like 12. - He was having sex at 13?

I'm... I'm sure of it. Yeah, most likely.

- If not 13, at least 14. - Hey!

Are you leaving?

Yeah, I'm going to hang out with some friends.

Okay. Where are you going? Where... where... what friends?

My friends. We're probably gonna go drinking.

You're gonna go drinking?

What type of drinks will you have, do you think?

Tequila, vodka. Just some stuff like that.

- Tequila, okay. - Tequila.

You can't go drinking. You're... You're only 15.

What do you mean I can't go drinking? W... wh...

I need to make sure you come home safe.

Wow, you're the one to talk about coming home?

Okay, come on. Hey!

You can't... You can't just go...

Adam?

What's going on?

Oh. Uh...

I just think he's upset

that I haven't been there most of his life.

Mm-hmm.

- Um... - Okay.

But...

I'm gonna fix it.

Good.

♪

Hey, buddy. Um...

you don't have to come out or answer me.

Uh, I just got you...

uh, a little something.

It's a guitar pedal. I know you like them.

I'm not sure what they do. So...

Uh, I guess they make the guitar sound cool.

Maybe one day you could show me how it works.

Um...

Like, I think drugs is, like, the next level.

- Yeah. - Drugs, you name it.

He's done it probably.

You know, like, cocaine or like,

you know, Molly and that stuff.

And that's all 'cause his dad situation?

- Um... I mean, yeah. I think so. - Okay.

I think it is.

You're not a dad! Okay?

You weren't then and you're not now!

Your anger is not gonna go away...

...if you numb it with drugs

and alcohol. Okay, this was the problem I had.

I... I hated my dad.

I hated my dad and I went to drugs and alcohol.

I wish I would've been spared.

I wish my parents would have sat me down

and talked to me like we're talking to you now.

They didn't. They didn't know how!

I'm not gonna let that happen to you.

What... what... what drugs are you doing?

What do you mean what drugs am I...

- Why would I fucking tell you? - I... I heard you s...

- What? Are you gonna go to the fucking cops? - So you are doing drugs?

What are you gonna do? Go to the cops and tell them?

No! And that's why I'm talking to you about it now.

- Adam... - I'm not a snitch.

You're a fucking disaster, my guy.

All right! Now...

can we end this fucking conversation now?

♪

- Hello, Angela? - Hello.

Just a thought,

how would you feel about going back to age six?

Oh, I guess, um, could you help me understand

what the purpose would be of going back?

- Oh, just because... - What were you thinking?

...I feel like I didn't get the experience

- of seeing him grow. Like... - Oh, um...

I'm willing to do that.

Whatever you think is needed for the show, that's fine.

Okay, cool. I'll... I'll talk to you in a bit.

Okay. See you.

♪

Adam?

Adam?

Adam, Adam, you okay?

Are you okay?

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

♪ ♪

- Angela! Angela! - What?

Adam, stay with me,

are you okay? Are you okay, Adam?

Adam. Adam...

What's going on?

Okay, it's all right.

I don't know what's happening.

I don't know what's happening to him. I don't know.

I don't know what's happening.

I don't know what's happening with him.

- I don't know. - I don't know.

He's got pinpointed pupils, hyperventilation.

High end-tidal. Looks like an opioid overdose.

Okay, with hypertension we need to consider

- benzo involvement. - Mm-hmm. I agree.

We'll start by assisting his breathing.

- Okay. - Hit him up with some Narcan.

Blood pressure 96 over 50. Respiration, six.

O2 stat, 86.

How are you feeling? You good?

You okay?

What are you doing? Don't. No. Stay, stay. You're safe, Adam.

- You're safe. - Hey, hey, hey!

- Wh... what's happening? - Hey!

Have you seen a 15-year-old boy around here?

An older man? No, no. That wouldn't be him.

Okay, thank you.

Adam?

Oh, sorry. Sorry.

It's easy to assume

that others think the worst of you...

but when you assume what others think,

maybe all you're doing is turning them into a character

that only exists in your mind.

The nice thing is, sometimes all it takes

is a change in perspective

to make the world feel brand-new.

All right, Adam. Let's go home.

Is that it?

♪