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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,380 --> 00:00:12,133 # You must remember this 2 00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:14,734 # A kiss is still a kiss 3 00:00:14,820 --> 00:00:17,937 # A sigh is just a sigh 4 00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:23,929 # The fundamental things apply 5 00:00:24,020 --> 00:00:27,979 # As time goes by # 6 00:00:31,380 --> 00:00:35,009 Now, are you quite certain that you're fit to travel? 7 00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:37,489 We're fine, Mrs Bale, fully recovered. 8 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:42,812 - Thank you for looking after us. - You were no trouble at all. 9 00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:45,368 - Good. - I didn't mean you. 10 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:50,770 - Oh. - Well, off we go, back to the big city. 11 00:00:50,860 --> 00:00:54,455 Now you've retired, why don't you move here permanently? 12 00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:57,134 I haven't retired, I just don't go to work. 13 00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:59,256 - Is there a difference? - Oh, yes. 14 00:00:59,340 --> 00:01:02,298 - What is it? - Lionel knows. 15 00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:04,893 What? 16 00:01:06,220 --> 00:01:07,972 Erm... 17 00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:19,488 So do you think there's intelligent life in space or not? 18 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,810 - I know there is. - You can't know. 19 00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:26,132 Well, somehow I know the difference between giving up work and retiring. 20 00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,814 You're not still wittering on about that? 21 00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:31,414 Yes, I am. "Lionel knows." 22 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:36,699 Well, Lionel didn't, and found himself making a complete fool of himself. 23 00:01:36,780 --> 00:01:39,931 Mrs Bale said it was a very interesting answer. 24 00:01:40,020 --> 00:01:44,093 She was humouring me. Thought I was still light-headed from that bug we had. 25 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:53,294 - (Sighs) - So what is the difference 26 00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:56,178 - between giving up work and retiring? - I don't know. 27 00:01:56,260 --> 00:01:59,969 But I know there is one. Oh, it's nice to be home, isn't it? 28 00:02:00,060 --> 00:02:01,812 Yes, it is. 29 00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:08,895 Why does Mrs Bale always pack a box of vegetables? 30 00:02:08,980 --> 00:02:13,258 She doesn't think they sell them in London. Come on, I'll put the kettle on. 31 00:02:19,020 --> 00:02:21,659 Ah. Anybody home? 32 00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:24,208 - The girls will be at work. - Of course. 33 00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:26,131 (Man) Good morning. 34 00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:30,654 - Good morning. - Good morning. 35 00:02:30,740 --> 00:02:33,129 You must be Jean and Lionel. 36 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:34,573 I'm Paul. 37 00:02:34,660 --> 00:02:37,174 Your friendly neighbourhood burglar. 38 00:02:38,020 --> 00:02:41,330 I'm Paul. I've been going out with Judith. 39 00:02:41,420 --> 00:02:43,172 Oh! That Paul. 40 00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:48,493 As ever was. I was going to make a cup of tea before I went. Would you like one? 41 00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:50,377 - Thank you. - Thank you. 42 00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:52,132 (Mouths) 43 00:02:53,220 --> 00:02:55,734 Sit yourselves down. Shan't be a tick. 44 00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:03,852 - Anyone like a biscuit? - Er... no, thank you. 45 00:03:06,460 --> 00:03:10,931 Custard tart, Lionel? Judy warned me not to eat any on pain of death. 46 00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:12,817 No, thank you. 47 00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:16,694 Hope I didn't come as too much of a surprise 48 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:20,250 but I didn't have to be in work until late so I had a lie-in. 49 00:03:20,340 --> 00:03:22,092 Oh, no, that's... 50 00:03:22,180 --> 00:03:24,136 Well, we're not shocked or anything. 51 00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:26,893 Shocked? Oh, I see, yes, that kind of shocked. 52 00:03:26,980 --> 00:03:29,733 After all, we're, er... we're not out of the Ark. 53 00:03:29,820 --> 00:03:31,572 No, of course not. 54 00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:34,936 Judy says you can be quite young for your age. Sometimes. 55 00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:36,533 Does she? 56 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,416 Erm... how's your wife? 57 00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:42,253 Fine. So far as I know. 58 00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:44,570 She's at Southampton University. 59 00:03:44,660 --> 00:03:47,732 - A mature student. - You don't see her often, then? 60 00:03:47,820 --> 00:03:50,732 Not so much as never, really. 61 00:03:50,820 --> 00:03:52,856 Still, these things do happen. 62 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,133 Yes. 63 00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:57,575 - I got divorced. - Did you? 64 00:03:57,660 --> 00:03:59,616 Seemed the thing to do. 65 00:04:00,620 --> 00:04:03,418 - Did it? - Yes, but Lionel didn't have children, 66 00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,695 so there were no custody battles. 67 00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:08,817 Well, mine are 19 and 16. Bit old for custody. 68 00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,333 Yes, I suppose so. 69 00:04:10,420 --> 00:04:12,729 There's something cleaner about divorce. 70 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,776 - Cleaner? - Erm... 71 00:04:14,860 --> 00:04:16,578 Absolute, I mean. 72 00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:19,174 It really, er, ends the chapter, doesn't it? 73 00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:21,057 Ready for the next chapter. 74 00:04:21,980 --> 00:04:24,130 If there is to be another chapter. 75 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:26,575 - I'm very fond of Judy. - I didn't mention Judy. 76 00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:28,491 Call me highly intuitive. 77 00:04:28,580 --> 00:04:31,936 - We're very fond of Judy. - Yes. Yes, of course you are. 78 00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:36,889 I don't mean to sound evasive but I can't give you the answers you're looking for. 79 00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:40,131 - No one said anything about answers. - I did. 80 00:04:40,220 --> 00:04:43,610 I'm not a very forward-looking person at the moment. 81 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:47,978 I don't fall into patterns, I just live life as it goes, see what happens. 82 00:04:48,060 --> 00:04:50,858 I said I couldn't give the answers you were looking for. 83 00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:52,896 Well, that's very, er... 84 00:04:53,940 --> 00:04:56,659 - honest of you. - Not reassuring, but honest. 85 00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:58,898 Sorry. 86 00:04:58,980 --> 00:05:02,416 I've got to go. I'm covering a basketball match in Manchester. 87 00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:04,889 Oh. You're a sports journalist. 88 00:05:04,980 --> 00:05:09,531 Yeah. Only sort to be. On the move all the time. Here, there, everywhere. 89 00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:12,214 - Do you like cricket, Lionel? - Yes, I do. 90 00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:15,417 I'll fix you up with tickets for the Lord's Test in the summer. 91 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:16,853 Oh. 92 00:05:16,940 --> 00:05:18,851 Thanks very much. 93 00:05:21,940 --> 00:05:24,056 Seems a long time away, summer. 94 00:05:24,140 --> 00:05:27,371 Yes. Well, nice to have met you both, anyway. 95 00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:29,894 I'll see you out. Oh, do you have a bag? 96 00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:32,414 No. No, I don't have a bag. 97 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,491 - Bye, Lionel. - Bye! 98 00:05:34,980 --> 00:05:37,096 (Whispers) He doesn't have a bag. 99 00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:43,658 (Chuckles) 100 00:05:47,740 --> 00:05:49,332 (Chuckles) 101 00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:52,256 It's the Australians this year. 102 00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:55,013 - Doing what? - Cricket, Test match. 103 00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:58,734 Oh, he'll forget about those tickets. 104 00:05:58,820 --> 00:06:01,812 - How do you know? - He seems that sort of chap. 105 00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,652 I see. (Chuckles) 106 00:06:03,740 --> 00:06:05,856 - Quite personable. - Oh, yes. 107 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,456 Quite personable. 108 00:06:09,860 --> 00:06:12,613 - Where are you going? - To get the stuff from the car. 109 00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:15,373 - Do you have to do that now? - I just thought I would. 110 00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:18,293 It's no good burying your head in the sand. 111 00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:23,373 - We have a situation. - You sound like NASA control. 112 00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:26,930 You know what I mean. You heard him, he's a gypsy. 113 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:30,490 He's probably going to Manchester in a horse-drawn caravan. 114 00:06:30,580 --> 00:06:33,538 - Where are you going now? - To get the stuff from the car 115 00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:35,975 or to bury my head in the sand. 116 00:06:36,060 --> 00:06:38,016 You don't care, do you? 117 00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:41,049 Yes, I do care, as a matter of fact. 118 00:06:41,140 --> 00:06:45,452 But it's time you stopped being a mother hen and let Judy get on with her own life. 119 00:06:45,540 --> 00:06:46,893 - Is it? - Yes. 120 00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:50,609 - What if she makes a mess of it? - Then we help her to pick up the pieces. 121 00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:52,656 You think she will make a mess of it. 122 00:06:52,740 --> 00:06:55,777 How should I know? I'm not Mystic Meg. 123 00:06:56,860 --> 00:07:00,614 I'm not asking you to look into a crystal ball, I'm asking you for an opinion. 124 00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:04,329 Well, some people make a mess of their lives, some don't. 125 00:07:04,420 --> 00:07:07,298 - Oh, that's very profound. - Well, it's true. 126 00:07:07,380 --> 00:07:10,850 Fate, luck, call it what you like. I know I made a mess of mine. 127 00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:12,896 Oh, thank you very much. 128 00:07:12,980 --> 00:07:15,096 No, not this bit. 129 00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:17,978 The big slab of it without you in it. 130 00:07:18,860 --> 00:07:21,090 Your letter never arrives in Korea 131 00:07:21,180 --> 00:07:24,013 so I act like a... a complete twerp. 132 00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:28,218 I assume you've lost interest and don't even bother to write to you to find out. 133 00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:32,339 - That is messing up a life. - I should have written again. 134 00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:34,251 - I should have written. - I should. 135 00:07:34,340 --> 00:07:36,296 - Anyway, we didn't. - No. 136 00:07:36,380 --> 00:07:39,895 - But we did meet up again. - Yes. 137 00:07:39,980 --> 00:07:42,414 All we missed out on was about 40 years. 138 00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:45,616 All right, but we did meet again. 139 00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:48,055 We got a happy ending out of our mess. 140 00:07:48,140 --> 00:07:50,256 Yeah, we did. 141 00:07:50,340 --> 00:07:52,296 So some messes do come right. 142 00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:54,371 - Against the odds, yes. - Good. 143 00:07:54,460 --> 00:07:56,416 Yes, good. 144 00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:58,934 But do you think that Judy's won't? 145 00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:04,614 Sorry for Alistair? Why? 146 00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:08,010 Well, he really is trying to get you back, isn't he? 147 00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:12,059 I thought sending a herald round to ask you out to dinner was sweet. 148 00:08:12,140 --> 00:08:15,291 His feather was falling out and his tights were baggy. 149 00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:18,850 Then turning up himself on horseback, in armour. 150 00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:21,693 - Which squeaked. - You could have oiled him. 151 00:08:21,780 --> 00:08:25,136 - That's the trouble with Alistair. - He doesn't normally squeak. 152 00:08:25,220 --> 00:08:28,690 He only wants me when I'm not available. When I am... 153 00:08:28,780 --> 00:08:31,089 Oh. Jean and Lionel are back. 154 00:08:31,180 --> 00:08:33,933 Oh, yeah. I wonder when they got back. 155 00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:36,215 I wonder. 156 00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:38,689 I hate it when you smile like that. 157 00:08:43,420 --> 00:08:46,537 - (Judy) Hi, Mum! - Hello, love! 158 00:08:48,340 --> 00:08:49,819 Ah. 159 00:08:51,980 --> 00:08:54,858 - Hello, Sandy. - Nice break in the country? 160 00:08:54,940 --> 00:08:57,693 - We spent most of it in bed. - Oh, yes? 161 00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:01,652 - With a bug. - Oh. Are you feeling better now? 162 00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:05,653 Well, I'm working and Lionel's back on the custard tarts, so we must be. 163 00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:08,618 You're working? I thought that you'd... 164 00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:12,249 - Retired? Yes, I have. - So why would you be working? 165 00:09:12,340 --> 00:09:14,296 I thought I'd formalise everything. 166 00:09:14,380 --> 00:09:18,851 You two will run the place and I'll stay on in an advisory capacity. 167 00:09:18,940 --> 00:09:22,899 It's all right, I don't intend to sit on a perch in the office every day. 168 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,050 When would you be in the office? 169 00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:27,734 Well, if I'm needed in an advisory capacity. 170 00:09:27,820 --> 00:09:31,051 But you wouldn't need to come into the office for that. 171 00:09:31,140 --> 00:09:33,096 - Well, I might. - Might you? 172 00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:36,013 - If I'm needed. - In an advisory capacity? 173 00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,250 Yes, I don't want to lose touch altogether. 174 00:09:38,340 --> 00:09:40,490 - No. - No, of course not. 175 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:45,574 I could always turn up and snoop around disguised as a charlady. (Laughs) 176 00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:49,978 I feel unwanted. 177 00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:53,655 - It's not that, it's... - You want to run things your way. 178 00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:56,698 Well, you can. That's why I've given up work. 179 00:09:56,780 --> 00:09:59,214 I just haven't retired, that's all. 180 00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:03,009 So that's that. Oh, by the way, we met Paul. 181 00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:05,812 Excuse me. 182 00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:09,448 - Did you? - Yes, he'd had a lie-in. 183 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:13,094 - How did you get on? - Oh, very well. 184 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:15,774 - I think he's a nice chap. - Yes? 185 00:10:15,860 --> 00:10:17,976 Very personable. 186 00:10:18,060 --> 00:10:22,133 I bet the first thing you and Sandy do is have the office redecorated. 187 00:10:24,940 --> 00:10:28,535 I mean, how can you stop going to work and not retire? 188 00:10:29,580 --> 00:10:31,536 That's what Mrs Bale asked. 189 00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:34,214 - What did Jean say? - She left it to me to explain. 190 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,892 How did you do? 191 00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:39,691 Mrs Bale's eyes glazed over after the first minute. 192 00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:42,897 I mean, not that Jean's really doing either. 193 00:10:44,140 --> 00:10:47,815 Did you know, she's decided to stay on in an advisory capacity? 194 00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:49,538 No, I didn't. 195 00:10:49,620 --> 00:10:54,136 Is that an official way of saying she can stick her nose in when she feels like it? 196 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:57,451 - I wouldn't put it quite like that. - How would you put it? 197 00:10:57,540 --> 00:11:00,816 - Yes, I'd put it exactly like that. - (Chuckles) 198 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:03,812 - I can't keep her locked up. - I suppose not. 199 00:11:05,660 --> 00:11:08,049 - Glass of wine? - Ooh, yes, please. 200 00:11:08,140 --> 00:11:11,689 - I think we're confined to the kitchen. - Why's that? 201 00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:15,409 Because the inquisition is at work in the living room. 202 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:20,699 It started quietly. "Oh, by the way, we met Paul this morning." Very casual. 203 00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:24,458 - You've met Paul? - Yes. 204 00:11:24,540 --> 00:11:27,498 - Why? - What do you think of him? 205 00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:29,252 He's nice enough. 206 00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:33,015 - Nice enough for what? - Just... generally. 207 00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:35,455 You're not worried as well, are you? 208 00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:38,008 - As well? - Oh, come on, you know Jean. 209 00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:42,059 If Judy were to start going out with the Pope she'd worry. 210 00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:45,778 I don't think the Pope's allowed to go out with girls. 211 00:11:45,860 --> 00:11:48,454 - You know what I mean. - I do, unfortunately. 212 00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:53,011 - So this is where the drinkers gather. - We're keeping out of the firing line. 213 00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:54,897 Is this half-time or what? 214 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:59,857 We ended up discussing whether you and I would get the office redecorated. 215 00:11:59,940 --> 00:12:03,216 All she had to say about Paul is that he was a nice chap. 216 00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:05,655 - That's not like her. - That's what I thought. 217 00:12:05,740 --> 00:12:08,095 - (Doorbell) - (Jean) I'll get it! 218 00:12:08,180 --> 00:12:11,138 That's probably the private detective she's hired. 219 00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:13,131 Don't you start. 220 00:12:13,220 --> 00:12:15,939 - Have you had a word with her? - We have lots. 221 00:12:16,020 --> 00:12:17,976 I mean a well-chosen one. 222 00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:21,496 I think you should credit your mother with some discretion. 223 00:12:21,580 --> 00:12:23,775 Not her strong point. 224 00:12:23,860 --> 00:12:26,215 - It's Alistair. - Is he on a horse? 225 00:12:27,060 --> 00:12:29,494 - No, he's not. - What's he dressed as? 226 00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:31,775 - As Alistair. - Where is he? 227 00:12:31,860 --> 00:12:34,328 He's hanging upside down in the attic. 228 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,059 He's in the living room, he wants to talk to us. 229 00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:41,611 - By us, you mean Judy. - I don't think we have a lot to talk about. 230 00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:43,656 We'll never know if we stay here. 231 00:12:43,740 --> 00:12:45,890 - He said us. - Perhaps he was being polite. 232 00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:48,574 If we barge in and he does want Judy... 233 00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:50,696 Well, I'll go and ask. 234 00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:56,817 I'm sorry, Alistair. Do you want to talk to Judy? 235 00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:59,130 - Of course. - I'll send her in. 236 00:12:59,220 --> 00:13:00,778 No, but... 237 00:13:04,580 --> 00:13:06,935 - Well? - Yes, thank you. Yourself? 238 00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:12,368 - Mum said that you wanted to talk to me. - Yes, I do. 239 00:13:12,460 --> 00:13:15,372 - Go on, then. - I want to talk to Jean as well. 240 00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:16,813 I see. 241 00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:20,210 - Mum! - I want to talk to everybody. 242 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,256 Lionel, Sandy! 243 00:13:22,340 --> 00:13:25,059 I did say that you didn't just want to talk to me. 244 00:13:25,140 --> 00:13:27,779 - It's not that... - I said he said us. 245 00:13:27,860 --> 00:13:30,090 Talk about overcomplicating things. 246 00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:32,330 - Hello, Alistair. - Hi, Li. Hi, gorgeous. 247 00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:35,093 - (Both) Hello. - (Alistair) Oh! (Laughs) 248 00:13:36,860 --> 00:13:39,613 Oh, it's just like family, isn't it? 249 00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:43,488 What a nice thing to say. What is it you want to talk about? 250 00:13:43,580 --> 00:13:45,536 I'm engaged. 251 00:13:47,340 --> 00:13:50,059 You know, as in... engaged. 252 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,298 To be married! 253 00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:56,531 - Well, congratulations, Alistair. - Thanks, Li! 254 00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:58,451 I am open to hugs. 255 00:13:58,540 --> 00:14:00,496 Oh, yes, of course. 256 00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:03,492 - Congratulations, Alistair. - Thank you. 257 00:14:03,580 --> 00:14:06,333 - (Sandy) Congratulations, Alistair. - Thanks. 258 00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:11,059 Judy? No hard feelings? 259 00:14:12,180 --> 00:14:14,455 No. No, no, of course not. 260 00:14:16,340 --> 00:14:18,296 I was just, erm... 261 00:14:18,380 --> 00:14:20,769 Well, it's all a bit sudden, isn't it? 262 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,249 You know me. Impulsive is my middle name. 263 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:27,538 I know about your impulses but marriage never seemed to be one of them. 264 00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:31,533 Two weeks ago you were dressed in armour pledging your troth to Judy. 265 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:35,056 - But she didn't troth back. - I did say how hard you were trying. 266 00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:38,371 Yes, I thought that, even if you did look ridiculous. 267 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:43,454 Hey, I was trying, but a guy can only take no just so many times. 268 00:14:43,540 --> 00:14:46,657 I don't remember you actually proposing marriage. 269 00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:50,050 - You wouldn't even come out to dinner. - We did all that, remember? 270 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,096 But why suddenly rush into marriage? 271 00:14:52,180 --> 00:14:53,898 As the song says... 272 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,050 # Some enchanted evening # 273 00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:58,813 Well, it must have been. What's she like? 274 00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:00,811 Will you stop doing that? 275 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,176 We shouldn't be quizzing him, it's none of our business. 276 00:15:04,260 --> 00:15:06,216 - We're family. - We are not. 277 00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:10,771 But you are, Li. Which is why I wanted to tell you about Mercury. 278 00:15:11,860 --> 00:15:13,452 Mercury? 279 00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:15,929 Well, that's her name. 280 00:15:16,020 --> 00:15:17,772 Mercury? 281 00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:22,136 Yes. 282 00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:24,370 Oh. 283 00:15:24,460 --> 00:15:28,169 I want you all to meet her. How does dinner tomorrow grab you? 284 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,978 - Ah... - We'd love it. 285 00:15:30,060 --> 00:15:31,857 - I'm not family. - You are. 286 00:15:31,940 --> 00:15:34,613 - You'll come? - Rather! 287 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:37,658 - Judy? - I wouldn't miss it for the world. 288 00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:43,732 Sandy, er... what are you doing this evening? 289 00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,456 I don't believe you asked that. 290 00:15:46,540 --> 00:15:50,374 Oh, no, no, no, no. I mean, you'll keep an eye on Judy, won't you? 291 00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:52,291 Console her, you mean? 292 00:15:52,380 --> 00:15:54,450 Well, yes. 293 00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:02,576 - Did I say something? - Don't ask me. 294 00:16:02,660 --> 00:16:07,336 Alistair, Judy's not heartbroken. She's got a relationship of her own going. 295 00:16:07,420 --> 00:16:09,775 Oh, that's right. George, isn't it? 296 00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:13,136 No, Paul. We've met him, haven't we, Lionel? 297 00:16:13,220 --> 00:16:16,690 Mm. He's going to get me tickets for the Lord's Test. 298 00:16:18,220 --> 00:16:21,018 - Is he? - Yes, he's a really nice chap. 299 00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:23,091 We took to him straightaway, didn't we? 300 00:16:23,180 --> 00:16:25,648 - Did we? - Well, I did. 301 00:16:26,380 --> 00:16:29,338 Lionel takes longer to sum people up than I do. 302 00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:32,378 No, I like Paul very much. And Judy likes him too. 303 00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:34,416 Well, she's a great girl. 304 00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:36,456 Then why are you letting her go? 305 00:16:36,540 --> 00:16:38,770 - He's engaged. - Well, let, then. 306 00:16:38,860 --> 00:16:42,136 Even a guy like me runs out of ideas eventually, Jean. 307 00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:44,814 I suppose I just wasn't what she wanted. 308 00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:49,576 Look, let me be frank. You've not got engaged on the rebound, have you? 309 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,616 - Really! - Let me be frank as well. 310 00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:54,339 You'll know the answer when you meet Mercury. 311 00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:58,049 Yes, talking of which, could Judy bring Paul along? 312 00:16:58,140 --> 00:17:00,256 - She might not want to. - Of course she would. 313 00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:03,571 Fine, then. I'll, er... l'll e-mail you the details. 314 00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:07,653 - What's wrong with phoning? - Li, move with the times, please. 315 00:17:07,740 --> 00:17:10,379 - See you tomorrow. Ciao. - Bye, Alistair. 316 00:17:10,460 --> 00:17:12,416 I'll go and start dinner. 317 00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:15,060 (Alistair) Bye, Judy. Look forward to meeting Paul. 318 00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:17,290 (Judy) What do you mean? 319 00:17:17,380 --> 00:17:18,938 Mum? 320 00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:22,774 Mum, what did he mean he's looking forward to meeting Paul? 321 00:17:22,860 --> 00:17:24,532 She's in the kitchen. 322 00:17:24,620 --> 00:17:28,169 And pleading the Fifth Amendment, I decline to answer. 323 00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:32,374 Why is Alistair looking forward to meeting Paul? 324 00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:34,894 I just thought you'd like to take him tomorrow. 325 00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:37,813 - You've invited him, haven't you? - Not personally. 326 00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:39,253 Why? 327 00:17:39,340 --> 00:17:43,333 If Alistair's showing off this Mercury, I thought you'd like to show off Paul. 328 00:17:43,420 --> 00:17:46,457 He's not a trophy. Besides, you don't even like him. 329 00:17:46,540 --> 00:17:48,895 I do, I told you, I thought he was nice. 330 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,936 Oh, yes, and that's all you said. 331 00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:54,649 Which means you were being diplomatic, which means you don't like him. 332 00:17:58,220 --> 00:18:01,132 - Did you hear that? - Yes. Spot-on, wasn't it? 333 00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:04,253 No. 334 00:18:04,340 --> 00:18:06,570 You didn't have a good word to say for him. 335 00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:08,935 - I said he's very personable. - Exactly. 336 00:18:09,020 --> 00:18:10,976 What were you saying to Alistair? 337 00:18:11,060 --> 00:18:13,938 "He's a really nice chap. We took to him straightaway." 338 00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:17,535 - Well, I like Alistair. - Against my better judgment, so do I. 339 00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:20,578 But if there's any logic in that remark I fail to see it. 340 00:18:20,660 --> 00:18:25,450 Well, we know Alistair. He's got his faults but he's been very kind to this family. 341 00:18:25,540 --> 00:18:28,498 I still don't see why, just because you... 342 00:18:29,820 --> 00:18:33,210 - You're not? - In his heart it's always been Judy. 343 00:18:33,300 --> 00:18:35,734 He's just got engaged to another woman. 344 00:18:35,820 --> 00:18:39,256 Yes, but he's a bit of a fly-by-night, it mightn't last. 345 00:18:39,340 --> 00:18:41,934 And you want a bit of a fly-by-night for Judy? 346 00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:44,534 At least he's a nice fly-by-night. 347 00:18:46,020 --> 00:18:47,976 I give up, I really do. 348 00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:50,335 I wonder what this Mercury's like. 349 00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:54,208 I'm not sure I can actually bring myself to call anyone Mercury. 350 00:18:55,340 --> 00:18:57,296 It could be worse. 351 00:18:57,380 --> 00:18:59,814 She could be called British Telecom. 352 00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:08,774 - (Knock on door) - Come in. 353 00:19:08,860 --> 00:19:10,896 - I'm ready. - I'm ageing. 354 00:19:10,980 --> 00:19:13,175 This is taking longer and longer. 355 00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:18,456 - What? - Is that it? 356 00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:23,971 - What's wrong with it? - It's bordering on the matronly. 357 00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:28,136 You're as bad as Mum. You both expect me to get all glammed up 358 00:19:28,220 --> 00:19:30,176 just to show Alistair what he's missing. 359 00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:34,014 No. I expect you to get all glammed up to show Paul what he's got. 360 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,739 Well, Paul can't come. He phoned. 361 00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:39,653 He's got to cover an ice hockey game in Sheffield. 362 00:19:39,740 --> 00:19:42,732 Oh, I see. Rather short notice, isn't it? 363 00:19:42,820 --> 00:19:44,458 What do you mean by that? 364 00:19:44,540 --> 00:19:49,136 Nothing. I'd have thought Paul would have known what he was doing tonight. 365 00:19:49,220 --> 00:19:51,290 What if war had broken out? 366 00:19:51,380 --> 00:19:53,336 - A war? - Yes. 367 00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:55,809 - What war? - I don't know, some war. 368 00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:59,939 If Paul were a war correspondent, he'd be sent off at short notice. 369 00:20:00,020 --> 00:20:04,093 I suppose he would. But it's not on the same scale as an ice hockey match. 370 00:20:04,180 --> 00:20:08,935 It's the same principle. Journalists get sent places at short notice. 371 00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:13,859 - This hasn't happened before, has it? - No, it hasn't happened before. 372 00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:18,130 - Look, Paul is a nice bloke. - Course he is. 373 00:20:18,220 --> 00:20:20,290 It's only one evening. 374 00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:23,611 - Now don't say that you're fond of me. - Why not? 375 00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:27,056 Because that's what Mum says when she thinks I'm going out with a disaster. 376 00:20:27,140 --> 00:20:30,815 - I didn't say that Paul was a disaster. - No, fair enough. 377 00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:34,688 You'd better call Jean "Mum" and me "Mother". 378 00:20:34,780 --> 00:20:36,850 So you're still wearing that, then? 379 00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:39,773 - Well, it's comfortable. - Comfortable? 380 00:20:39,860 --> 00:20:43,170 Why not slip into a beige cardie and have done with it? 381 00:20:43,260 --> 00:20:46,093 I'll take one with me in case it turns cold. 382 00:20:46,180 --> 00:20:48,455 This is a very defeatist attitude. 383 00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:53,375 I'm not defeated. Paul can't come. I'm not interested in impressing anybody else. 384 00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:56,372 Whatever you say. Even so... 385 00:20:57,340 --> 00:21:00,173 Be honest. What chance have I got of out-glamming 386 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:03,616 - someone called Mercury? - You don't know that she's glamorous. 387 00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:06,260 I bet she makes Claudia Schiffer look dowdy. 388 00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:09,252 - Even so... - And she'll speak eight languages. 389 00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:11,456 - Even so... - Stop saying "even so", 390 00:21:11,540 --> 00:21:14,008 I'm too old for those kind of games. 391 00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:16,056 Even so... 392 00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:19,656 I'll go and get changed. 393 00:21:23,940 --> 00:21:26,773 (Quiet chatter, gentle piano music) 394 00:21:26,860 --> 00:21:31,092 - Are we early? - No, we're unfashionably punctual. 395 00:21:33,580 --> 00:21:36,777 - I think I'll just go to the loo. - Yes, me too. 396 00:21:37,940 --> 00:21:40,898 Why do women always go to the loo in droves? 397 00:21:40,980 --> 00:21:44,450 - I wouldn't call two a drove. - Well, collectively, then. 398 00:21:44,540 --> 00:21:46,895 Judy's nervous about meeting Mercury. 399 00:21:46,980 --> 00:21:49,540 - Why should she be? - Well, I ask you. Mercury? 400 00:21:49,620 --> 00:21:51,576 - It's just a name. - Of sorts. 401 00:21:51,660 --> 00:21:54,015 You're gonna hate her on sight, aren't you? 402 00:21:54,100 --> 00:21:56,614 - I don't know yet. - Yes, you do. 403 00:21:58,020 --> 00:22:02,377 I suppose Judy wouldn't be nervous at all if she was called Gert. 404 00:22:02,460 --> 00:22:04,416 Nobody's called Gert any more. 405 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:07,253 I didn't think anybody was called Mercury. 406 00:22:07,340 --> 00:22:11,492 It's a shame Paul had to cover that ice hockey match in Sheffield. 407 00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:13,332 Yes. 408 00:22:13,420 --> 00:22:17,208 - Why do you say yes like that? - I didn't say it like anything. 409 00:22:17,300 --> 00:22:19,211 I meant, yes, it's a shame. 410 00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:21,256 Lionel, you didn't. 411 00:22:22,820 --> 00:22:26,096 - I wasn't going to tell you. - Tell me what? 412 00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:29,411 - I was reading the paper... - He's in it. What's he done? 413 00:22:29,500 --> 00:22:33,778 No, he's not in it. But the sports fixtures are. 414 00:22:33,860 --> 00:22:37,136 There isn't an ice hockey match in Sheffield tonight. 415 00:22:37,220 --> 00:22:39,370 - Oh, dear. - Yeah. 416 00:22:39,460 --> 00:22:42,054 - That's what I thought. - Does Judy know? 417 00:22:42,140 --> 00:22:44,210 I don't think she reads the sports pages. 418 00:22:44,300 --> 00:22:47,053 You're not still expecting those tickets for Lord's? 419 00:22:47,140 --> 00:22:49,859 - No. - "Let her get on with her own life." 420 00:22:49,940 --> 00:22:51,896 - I know. - So do we tell her? 421 00:22:51,980 --> 00:22:54,289 (Whispers) They're coming back. 422 00:22:55,700 --> 00:22:58,373 - You both look very serious. - Not at all. 423 00:22:58,460 --> 00:23:01,099 We were laughing at something Lionel said. 424 00:23:01,180 --> 00:23:03,136 Oh, what was that? 425 00:23:06,420 --> 00:23:10,254 - I'm not a sneak by nature. - I don't think that's very funny. 426 00:23:10,340 --> 00:23:13,138 No, I was just prefacing a statement. 427 00:23:13,220 --> 00:23:15,290 - Which is the joke. - It isn't a joke. 428 00:23:15,380 --> 00:23:19,168 Judy... I think there's a time to sneak. 429 00:23:20,620 --> 00:23:24,579 This, erm, ice hockey game that Paul was supposed to be covering. 430 00:23:27,460 --> 00:23:29,610 - There isn't one. - What? 431 00:23:30,460 --> 00:23:33,258 There are no ice hockey fixtures at all. 432 00:23:34,460 --> 00:23:37,532 I didn't pry. I didn't butt in. I didn't make a phone call. 433 00:23:37,620 --> 00:23:40,453 I just happened to look at the sports pages. 434 00:23:40,540 --> 00:23:43,737 - Oh, I see. - Are toads taking over the world? 435 00:23:43,820 --> 00:23:46,698 I'm sorry, love. I didn't like him, but I am sorry. 436 00:23:46,780 --> 00:23:48,338 I said that you didn't. 437 00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:54,458 I'm all right. It was never gonna be the romance of the century. 438 00:23:54,540 --> 00:23:57,293 I just hope the next time he covers the rugby 439 00:23:57,380 --> 00:24:00,770 he gets trampled on by the entire English pack. 440 00:24:01,420 --> 00:24:02,978 It's Mercury time. 441 00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:06,816 Judy, if you don't want to do this... 442 00:24:06,900 --> 00:24:11,337 Mum, I can't miss seeing the woman that can make Alistair propose. 443 00:24:17,420 --> 00:24:20,492 - Lionel, your mouth's open. - Sorry. 444 00:24:21,860 --> 00:24:23,816 - Hello. - Hello. 445 00:24:24,940 --> 00:24:26,771 Hi, guys. 446 00:24:29,820 --> 00:24:33,415 Hello, Alistair. We thought that was Mercury. 447 00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:36,094 What, the plain girl? (Laughs) 448 00:24:37,180 --> 00:24:39,136 Hey, it's great to see you all. 449 00:24:40,340 --> 00:24:43,457 Oh, sorry, sorry. Mercury's not coming. 450 00:24:47,980 --> 00:24:49,459 Well, why? 451 00:24:49,540 --> 00:24:51,576 The engagement's off. 452 00:24:51,660 --> 00:24:54,572 - That must be some sort of record. - Lionel! 453 00:24:54,660 --> 00:24:58,335 Lionel's right. I didn't have time to buy the engagement ring. 454 00:24:58,420 --> 00:25:01,810 - Think of it as a saving. - Cold feet, Alistair? 455 00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:05,176 No, apparently it all suddenly seemed like a bad idea. 456 00:25:05,260 --> 00:25:09,139 - What do you mean by apparently? - It was Mercury who broke it off. 457 00:25:09,220 --> 00:25:11,415 - I see. - Did she? 458 00:25:12,180 --> 00:25:15,217 What about your guy, Judy? Er, John, isn't it? 459 00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:17,495 - Paul. - No, he sent his apologies 460 00:25:17,580 --> 00:25:21,095 but he was called away to, erm, a... hockey match in Sheffield. 461 00:25:21,180 --> 00:25:25,014 - Ice hockey. - Yes, yes. It was obviously important. 462 00:25:25,100 --> 00:25:28,775 - Put another way, he stood me up. - Which makes him a total twerp. 463 00:25:30,260 --> 00:25:33,809 - What sort of a guy would do that? - You did it often enough. 464 00:25:35,060 --> 00:25:37,176 (Alistair) Now, Judy, that's not true. 465 00:25:37,260 --> 00:25:41,094 I wasn't around sometimes but I never stood you up when I was around. 466 00:25:41,180 --> 00:25:45,412 - Yes, there is a difference. - But it's all on a scale of unreliability. 467 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:47,331 - Li? - What? 468 00:25:47,420 --> 00:25:50,617 Well, sometimes it takes a guy to understand a guy. 469 00:25:50,700 --> 00:25:52,656 This isn't one of those times. 470 00:25:54,460 --> 00:25:56,576 - You said she was plain. - Never. 471 00:25:56,660 --> 00:26:01,051 No, not Judy, that... ten-foot blonde that came in ahead of you. 472 00:26:01,140 --> 00:26:05,099 Did I? I must have been comparing her to Mercury. 473 00:26:05,820 --> 00:26:07,572 Hey, I'm only being honest. 474 00:26:07,660 --> 00:26:10,936 Sandy and I had her down as speaking ten languages. 475 00:26:11,020 --> 00:26:12,294 No. 476 00:26:12,380 --> 00:26:15,850 - Only five that I knew about. - Practically illiterate. 477 00:26:16,980 --> 00:26:19,972 Mercury must have been quite something. 478 00:26:20,060 --> 00:26:21,618 Quite something. 479 00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:25,693 Somebody's got to ask. Why did she break off the engagement? 480 00:26:25,780 --> 00:26:28,169 She said that I wasn't all there. 481 00:26:29,100 --> 00:26:33,651 - Oh, that's rather rude. - No, no, I mean commitment-wise. 482 00:26:34,620 --> 00:26:36,178 "Ali," she said... 483 00:26:36,260 --> 00:26:39,218 She always used to call me Ali. 484 00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:43,259 "Ali, I never feel that I have all of you. 485 00:26:44,100 --> 00:26:47,934 "It's as though a part of you is always somewhere else." 486 00:26:48,740 --> 00:26:50,298 Where? 487 00:26:51,060 --> 00:26:52,937 Perhaps she was right. 488 00:26:56,300 --> 00:26:59,292 Erm... (Clears throat) Are we going to eat or what? 489 00:26:59,380 --> 00:27:02,213 - Perhaps we should... - If you want to eat alone... 490 00:27:02,300 --> 00:27:06,578 No, no, no. It wouldn't be fair of me to use a situation like this. 491 00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:09,811 Let's all just have a great meal together, hmm? 492 00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:13,495 Perhaps there'll be other times for me and Judy. 493 00:27:15,020 --> 00:27:16,976 - Let's eat. - (Sandy) Yes. 494 00:27:17,060 --> 00:27:20,450 I want another look at that plain girl as we go past. 495 00:27:20,540 --> 00:27:21,973 Alistair... 496 00:27:22,060 --> 00:27:24,016 if you're serious, 497 00:27:24,100 --> 00:27:26,694 we know you're a bit of a fly-by-night, 498 00:27:26,780 --> 00:27:29,533 just try not to fly by night quite so often. 499 00:27:30,460 --> 00:27:33,213 I want another look at that plain girl, too. 500 00:27:35,540 --> 00:27:37,735 - Alistair... - Mm? 501 00:27:37,820 --> 00:27:42,974 I thought you gave up a bit quickly after the squeaky armour let you down. 502 00:27:43,060 --> 00:27:45,016 - Sorry? - Own up. 503 00:27:46,380 --> 00:27:48,735 There never was a Mercury, was there? 504 00:27:48,820 --> 00:27:51,892 - Li! You don't seriously believe? - Mm-hm. 505 00:27:51,980 --> 00:27:53,652 Mm-hm. 506 00:28:03,500 --> 00:28:06,060 # You must remember this 507 00:28:06,140 --> 00:28:08,734 # A kiss is still a kiss 508 00:28:08,820 --> 00:28:12,176 # A sigh is just a sigh 509 00:28:14,260 --> 00:28:17,935 # The fundamental things apply 510 00:28:18,020 --> 00:28:21,490 # As time goes by 511 00:28:25,140 --> 00:28:27,700 # And when two lovers woo 512 00:28:27,780 --> 00:28:30,453 # They still say I love you 513 00:28:30,540 --> 00:28:33,293 # On that you can rely 514 00:28:36,140 --> 00:28:40,372 # The world will always welcome lovers 515 00:28:41,860 --> 00:28:48,811 # As time goes by # 41592

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