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1
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# You must remember this
2
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# A kiss is still a kiss
3
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# A sigh is just a sigh
4
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# The fundamental things apply
5
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# As time goes by #
6
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I'm not carrying on.
All I said was the bacon was done to a crisp.
7
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It was supposed to be.
You ordered crispy bacon.
8
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- Are you sure?
- I heard you.
9
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It was that waitress. She confused me.
10
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I asked for fried eggs and she suggested about
50 ways of frying them.
11
00:00:50,207 --> 00:00:54,519
Same with the bacon. As for ordering toast,
well, forget it if you're in a hurry.
12
00:00:54,567 --> 00:00:59,766
Took her half an hour to tell me
how many different sorts of toast I could have.
13
00:00:59,807 --> 00:01:03,402
- You like Los Angeles, then?
- If we eat downstairs this evening,
14
00:01:03,447 --> 00:01:07,156
we should go down about five o'clock,
it will take two hours to order.
15
00:01:07,207 --> 00:01:09,198
I know what this is all about.
16
00:01:09,247 --> 00:01:10,885
Your bottle's gone.
17
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My bottle has not gone.
It's just different, that's all.
18
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:17,479
It's one thing fantasising about a miniseries
in London,
19
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it's quite another to be over here
20
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:22,803
trying to convince Mike whatsit
and Cy thingummy to make it.
21
00:01:22,847 --> 00:01:26,601
Mike Barbosa and Cy Liebermann,
they're halfway sold on it already.
22
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They blow very hot and cold, Americans.
23
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You couldn't order breakfast,
but you're an expert on Americans.
24
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I'm just trying not to be over-optimistic.
25
00:01:34,687 --> 00:01:38,680
I don't think there's much danger of that.
In the meantime, enjoy.
26
00:01:38,727 --> 00:01:42,959
- That's what the waitress kept saying.
- Well, we should. I mean, here we are.
27
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First-class flight, a lovely suite, and look.
Look out there, Lionel, just look.
28
00:01:49,447 --> 00:01:50,436
Well?
29
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Smog.
30
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In the hills above the smog.
31
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- More smog.
- No.
32
00:02:01,487 --> 00:02:03,398
It's Hollywood. We're in Hollywood.
33
00:02:03,447 --> 00:02:05,677
- You're excited, aren't you?
- Yes, I am.
34
00:02:05,727 --> 00:02:08,924
Oh, you have to admit,
this beats a rainy day in Holland Park.
35
00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:13,165
- I know where things are in Holland Park.
- I want to stroll down Sunset Boulevard.
36
00:02:13,207 --> 00:02:16,563
- Let's stroll down it.
- You don't know that's Sunset Boulevard.
37
00:02:16,607 --> 00:02:20,646
- Well, it's somewhere down there.
- (Phone rings)
38
00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:26,395
Hello.
39
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,438
Oh, good morning.
40
00:02:28,487 --> 00:02:30,478
Yes, we're...
41
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Are you?
42
00:02:32,007 --> 00:02:33,998
Right. Fine.
43
00:02:35,127 --> 00:02:37,846
Mike Barbosa's in the lobby, he's on his way up.
44
00:02:37,887 --> 00:02:41,277
A drizzly day in Holland Park
suddenly sounds attractive.
45
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:44,046
- Now whose bottle's gone?
- I'm just nervous for you.
46
00:02:44,087 --> 00:02:48,126
- You will remember Alistair's advice?
- Be very calm, very cool, very British.
47
00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:50,203
- Where are you going?
- I need a pee.
48
00:02:50,247 --> 00:02:53,364
- You won't be long, will you?
- (Knock at door)
49
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,398
Oh.
50
00:02:57,687 --> 00:03:00,997
Hello again, Jean, good to see you.
Welcome to Los Angeles.
51
00:03:01,047 --> 00:03:03,163
- A small token. May I come in?
- Oh.
52
00:03:03,207 --> 00:03:07,041
Hello. You too. Thank you, how kind. Please do.
53
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:09,555
Good flight? Great. Where's Lionel?
54
00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,677
- Oh, he's, erm...
- Taking a leak.
55
00:03:12,687 --> 00:03:15,326
- You have a leak?
- No, no! No, no.
56
00:03:15,367 --> 00:03:17,961
Lionel meant... Oh, here he is.
57
00:03:19,247 --> 00:03:22,956
- Lionel, good to see you again. How are you?
- Much better now, thanks.
58
00:03:23,007 --> 00:03:24,406
Been unwell?
59
00:03:24,447 --> 00:03:26,438
No, no, no. I just had a leak.
60
00:03:26,487 --> 00:03:30,162
- Gee, why did you say you didn't?
- I didn't. Lionel did.
61
00:03:30,207 --> 00:03:31,560
I'm sorry?
62
00:03:31,607 --> 00:03:35,566
We're using "leak" in a different sense.
You know... sort of...
63
00:03:35,607 --> 00:03:40,886
- Right. A leak. I must remember that one.
- This is the language of Shakespeare, after all.
64
00:03:40,927 --> 00:03:42,883
Right.
65
00:03:42,927 --> 00:03:45,395
I'm sorry we didn't respond to your message.
66
00:03:45,447 --> 00:03:48,757
Hey, that's no problem.
I just didn't want you to feel ignored.
67
00:03:48,807 --> 00:03:52,277
- You were probably working out in the gym.
- Working out in the gym?
68
00:03:52,327 --> 00:03:54,682
No, we were having a breakfast, a big fry-up.
69
00:03:55,927 --> 00:03:57,804
Really? Right.
70
00:03:58,807 --> 00:04:00,877
- Well, shall we sit down?
- OK.
71
00:04:00,927 --> 00:04:02,121
Please.
72
00:04:03,287 --> 00:04:07,200
Right. So... I have good news
and I've got better news.
73
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,966
The good news is
Cy Liebermann's therapy session
74
00:04:10,007 --> 00:04:12,475
- has been put back to this afternoon.
- Therapy?
75
00:04:12,527 --> 00:04:16,076
Yeah. Cy's working his way through
an alienation problem right now.
76
00:04:16,127 --> 00:04:18,277
Who is he alienated to or from?
77
00:04:18,327 --> 00:04:20,124
- His wife.
- Oh, dear.
78
00:04:20,167 --> 00:04:24,445
No, no, it's great because Melissa
is working her way through a rejection problem.
79
00:04:24,487 --> 00:04:27,445
- Are either of you in therapy?
- Not yet, no.
80
00:04:28,807 --> 00:04:34,359
That's great. Anyway, the better news is that
Cy can now see us at 11:30 if that's convenient.
81
00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:36,875
- Good.
- Excellent. We can have our walk first.
82
00:04:36,927 --> 00:04:38,360
A walk?
83
00:04:38,407 --> 00:04:40,079
Yes. A stroll.
84
00:04:40,127 --> 00:04:41,765
Stroll?
85
00:04:41,807 --> 00:04:44,685
If it helps, think of it as a strolling walk.
86
00:04:44,727 --> 00:04:46,319
Nobody walks in LA.
87
00:04:46,367 --> 00:04:50,724
I mean, I don't mean nobody literally walks,
I mean that...
88
00:04:50,767 --> 00:04:52,405
Nobody walks.
89
00:04:52,447 --> 00:04:56,235
Well, that's that cleared up.
Perhaps we could roller-skate.
90
00:04:56,287 --> 00:04:58,164
It was a... sort of joke.
91
00:04:58,207 --> 00:05:00,198
Oh, yeah. Yeah, right.
92
00:05:00,247 --> 00:05:05,275
Uh, look, there's a stretch limo parked outside
at your permanent disposal. Use that, please.
93
00:05:05,327 --> 00:05:06,965
Well, if it makes you happy.
94
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:11,239
- More to the point, Lionel, it makes you safe.
- They're big cars, stretch limos.
95
00:05:11,287 --> 00:05:13,596
- Oh, very big.
- Well, we'll compromise.
96
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:17,401
We'll walk around inside it as we drive along.
(Laughs)
97
00:05:19,047 --> 00:05:20,878
(Laughs)
98
00:05:23,567 --> 00:05:25,285
I wish you wouldn't cry.
99
00:05:25,327 --> 00:05:27,761
Oh, Harry, will you please stop crying?
100
00:05:27,807 --> 00:05:32,005
Now, look. Cancelling your series
is not the end of the world.
101
00:05:32,047 --> 00:05:35,517
Suicide is a very ugly word, Harry.
102
00:05:35,567 --> 00:05:36,886
(Knock at door)
103
00:05:36,927 --> 00:05:38,997
I'm putting you on hold, Harry.
104
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,321
Who is this?
105
00:05:40,367 --> 00:05:43,120
Cy. I have Lionel and Jean here.
106
00:05:43,167 --> 00:05:46,796
- Lionel and Jean who?
- The Brits. The Korean War miniseries project.
107
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,439
Oh, right.
108
00:05:48,487 --> 00:05:51,240
- Mike, do I like it?
- You're crazy for it.
109
00:05:51,287 --> 00:05:53,278
Well, good. Get 'em in.
110
00:05:54,567 --> 00:05:55,886
Ah.
111
00:05:56,687 --> 00:05:58,678
Guy meets girl.
112
00:05:58,727 --> 00:06:00,718
They fall in love.
113
00:06:00,767 --> 00:06:02,485
Guy goes to war.
114
00:06:02,527 --> 00:06:04,518
Guy loses girl.
115
00:06:04,567 --> 00:06:07,081
I'm crazy for this?
116
00:06:07,127 --> 00:06:10,961
- Lionel, Jean, say hello to Cy Liebermann.
- How do you do?
117
00:06:11,007 --> 00:06:14,238
Cy is vice president
in charge of miniseries development.
118
00:06:14,287 --> 00:06:19,566
Oh, it is so very, very... thrilling
to meet you both. Really, it's wonderful.
119
00:06:19,607 --> 00:06:21,518
- Please sit down.
- Thank you.
120
00:06:21,567 --> 00:06:24,639
If you'll excuse me momentarily,
I have someone on hold.
121
00:06:24,687 --> 00:06:26,678
It's a fellow writer, Lionel.
122
00:06:26,727 --> 00:06:28,445
Hm.
123
00:06:28,487 --> 00:06:32,321
Harry, you are still crying
instead of communicating, Harry.
124
00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:37,445
I know I said I loved your series, Harry,
but that was before I saw the ratings.
125
00:06:37,487 --> 00:06:39,717
That does not make me a bad person.
126
00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:44,238
I know that isn't the word you used, Harry,
but I have a lady in the office.
127
00:06:44,287 --> 00:06:46,801
I love you too, Harry.
128
00:06:46,847 --> 00:06:48,246
Sore loser.
129
00:06:48,847 --> 00:06:54,001
So... It is
so very, very wonderful to meet you both.
130
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,878
Really. Really.
131
00:06:55,927 --> 00:06:59,602
- It's thrilling.
- Well, we're thrilled too, aren't we, Lionel?
132
00:06:59,647 --> 00:07:01,638
Oh, yes. Incredibly.
133
00:07:03,247 --> 00:07:05,681
So tell me, how is your queen?
134
00:07:05,727 --> 00:07:06,921
Pardon?
135
00:07:06,967 --> 00:07:09,276
Queen Elizabeth.
136
00:07:09,327 --> 00:07:12,478
Yes, I know her name,
but how should I know how she is?
137
00:07:13,527 --> 00:07:18,647
No. No, what Lionel is saying
is that we don't actually know her personally,
138
00:07:18,687 --> 00:07:22,202
but from what we gather,
she's really quite well in herself.
139
00:07:24,087 --> 00:07:26,555
I'm very glad to hear that. Very glad.
140
00:07:27,407 --> 00:07:29,682
Your project. Uh... what's it called again?
141
00:07:29,727 --> 00:07:32,764
- (Mike and Jean) Just Two People.
- Just Two People. Right.
142
00:07:32,807 --> 00:07:36,846
I think you should know that
when Mike faxed me the outline from England,
143
00:07:36,887 --> 00:07:40,562
I became tremendously excited.
I want this story to happen.
144
00:07:40,607 --> 00:07:42,165
It did.
145
00:07:42,207 --> 00:07:44,198
On screen, Lionel.
146
00:07:44,247 --> 00:07:46,477
A story which...
147
00:07:46,527 --> 00:07:48,199
which... Mike.
148
00:07:48,247 --> 00:07:49,646
Tears out your guts?
149
00:07:49,687 --> 00:07:51,325
- No.
- Gives you stomachache?
150
00:07:51,367 --> 00:07:52,595
Sorry?
151
00:07:53,407 --> 00:07:55,841
- Lionel is joking, Cy.
- Oh.
152
00:07:55,887 --> 00:08:00,563
You're discussing the publicity before you've
even made it. That's the wrong way round.
153
00:08:00,607 --> 00:08:03,485
Not necessarily but I take the point.
We need a meeting.
154
00:08:03,527 --> 00:08:05,677
I thought we were having one now.
155
00:08:05,727 --> 00:08:07,718
A meeting with Josh and Lisa sitting in.
156
00:08:07,767 --> 00:08:11,885
Josh and Lisa are creative consultants.
When this project goes to script...
157
00:08:11,927 --> 00:08:16,557
If this development goes to script,
I want them in on the team.
158
00:08:16,607 --> 00:08:18,404
What do they do, exactly?
159
00:08:18,447 --> 00:08:20,642
- Mike has just explained.
- No, he hasn't.
160
00:08:20,687 --> 00:08:22,598
- I understood it.
- What do they do?
161
00:08:22,647 --> 00:08:25,445
- They consult.
- In a creative capacity.
162
00:08:25,487 --> 00:08:27,045
Capeesh?
163
00:08:27,087 --> 00:08:29,647
I don't know what anybody's talking about.
164
00:08:29,687 --> 00:08:31,678
Josh and Lisa are over at Fox.
165
00:08:31,727 --> 00:08:37,085
OK. So Mike, you arrange another meeting here
with Josh and Lisa just as soon as you can.
166
00:08:37,127 --> 00:08:40,961
- Right.
- Can it be soon? I'd quite like to go home.
167
00:08:41,007 --> 00:08:42,963
(Laughs)
168
00:08:43,007 --> 00:08:45,316
- Lionel's joking.
- No, he isn't.
169
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:49,564
I'm thinking of a drizzly day in Holland Park.
170
00:08:49,607 --> 00:08:53,077
That's the title of Lionel's new book.
171
00:08:54,487 --> 00:08:57,797
Oh, I understand. You writers. (Laughs)
172
00:08:57,847 --> 00:09:00,407
Yes. Us writers. (Laughs falsely)
173
00:09:01,527 --> 00:09:06,726
- Would you have anything to show us, Lionel?
- What do you want me to show you?
174
00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:09,440
- Anything on the new book?
- There isn't anything.
175
00:09:09,487 --> 00:09:12,763
No, no. It's... It's still in the development stage.
176
00:09:12,807 --> 00:09:15,162
Oh, I see. Not even a clue?
177
00:09:15,207 --> 00:09:16,799
Not even a clue.
178
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:18,838
OK. So here's what we do.
179
00:09:18,887 --> 00:09:22,800
Mike, you find a window for Josh and Lisa
and arrange another meeting.
180
00:09:22,847 --> 00:09:25,236
I think I'd like Stefan to sit in on that one.
181
00:09:25,287 --> 00:09:30,315
Meantime, Jean, Lionel,
please just enjoy our beautiful, beautiful city.
182
00:09:30,367 --> 00:09:33,086
Anything you need, please call Mike.
183
00:09:33,127 --> 00:09:35,118
Good meeting, Lionel.
184
00:09:35,167 --> 00:09:36,964
Thrilling.
185
00:09:37,007 --> 00:09:38,645
Thank you, Mr Liebermann.
186
00:09:38,687 --> 00:09:41,963
- Oh, Cy, please. Only my wife calls me mister.
- Oh. (Laughs)
187
00:09:46,967 --> 00:09:48,958
(She continues to laugh)
188
00:09:52,327 --> 00:09:53,601
Mike.
189
00:09:53,647 --> 00:09:56,161
Is it me or is Lionel a strange guy?
190
00:09:56,207 --> 00:09:58,198
Oh. He's a strange guy.
191
00:09:58,247 --> 00:09:59,396
Cy.
192
00:10:05,007 --> 00:10:07,885
- Obstructive, obtuse and what?
- Wilful.
193
00:10:07,927 --> 00:10:11,044
That's an understatement of your behaviour
at the meeting.
194
00:10:11,087 --> 00:10:13,647
I should have taken you in a pushchair.
195
00:10:13,687 --> 00:10:17,362
At least I'd have outranked Cy and Mike
in their prams.
196
00:10:17,407 --> 00:10:19,557
Oh!
197
00:10:19,607 --> 00:10:22,440
- I can construe that as a sulk, can I?
- Construe what?
198
00:10:22,487 --> 00:10:26,116
- You saying "Oh!" and flopping on the bed.
- I did not flop.
199
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,556
- (Groans)
- That was a flop.
200
00:10:28,607 --> 00:10:31,565
- You can't flop in a sitting position.
- Oh!
201
00:10:32,647 --> 00:10:35,684
I do wish you'd stop tearing round the room
going "Oh".
202
00:10:35,727 --> 00:10:38,116
- I did not tear anywhere.
- (Sighs)
203
00:10:38,167 --> 00:10:40,476
- You keep sighing.
- Is it jet lag?
204
00:10:40,527 --> 00:10:42,916
- Is what jet lag?
- This mood of yours.
205
00:10:42,967 --> 00:10:45,083
You never look at yourself, do you?
206
00:10:45,127 --> 00:10:48,244
There's a time in life
when mirrors lose their attraction.
207
00:10:48,287 --> 00:10:50,437
That's not what I meant and you know it.
208
00:10:50,487 --> 00:10:54,844
You went into that meeting today like
some old empire builder meeting the natives.
209
00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:57,526
You were pompous, patronising and p...
210
00:10:58,287 --> 00:10:59,925
I'm looking for another P.
211
00:10:59,967 --> 00:11:01,446
Periwinkle?
212
00:11:01,487 --> 00:11:04,877
Pernickety.
Look, Mike and Cy are there to help you.
213
00:11:04,927 --> 00:11:09,125
- They're not. They're there to make money.
- Oh. What are you there for?
214
00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:10,919
- Fair point.
- Thank you.
215
00:11:10,967 --> 00:11:15,119
But I'm not prepared to act like an idiot
to do it. "How is your queen?" How do I know?
216
00:11:15,167 --> 00:11:17,727
- He was only being polite.
- A veneer.
217
00:11:17,767 --> 00:11:21,601
- He's hard as nails underneath, Cy whatsit...
- Liebermann.
218
00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:25,845
You heard him on the phone. Destroys
someone's career and calls him a sore loser.
219
00:11:25,887 --> 00:11:29,118
- That could have been me.
- No, you'd have punched him.
220
00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:32,842
- Or put him over my knee and spanked him.
- That's what it is. It's age.
221
00:11:32,887 --> 00:11:35,845
Yes. They're children
and they're running the world.
222
00:11:35,887 --> 00:11:37,878
The bit of it you want to make money from.
223
00:11:37,927 --> 00:11:41,442
And what's a creative consultant
when he's at home?
224
00:11:41,487 --> 00:11:45,196
- Some kind of advisor, obviously.
- And who's Stefan?
225
00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:48,284
Oh, Cy's hairdresser for all I know.
226
00:11:48,327 --> 00:11:51,080
I'm not fawning to that crowd
if that's what you want.
227
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,687
Nobody asked you to fawn
and it wasn't a crowd.
228
00:11:53,727 --> 00:11:58,926
- You wait till the next meeting.
- Fight your nature and just try and be civil.
229
00:11:58,967 --> 00:12:04,917
If that includes cackling at jokes like, "Only my
wife calls me mister", it's out of the question.
230
00:12:04,967 --> 00:12:06,844
- Who cackled?
- You did.
231
00:12:06,887 --> 00:12:08,605
I did not cackle, I smiled.
232
00:12:08,647 --> 00:12:10,763
It was a pretty cackly sort of smile, then.
233
00:12:10,807 --> 00:12:13,367
If you go on like this, I'm going home.
234
00:12:13,407 --> 00:12:16,205
If they go on like this, I'll be there before you.
235
00:12:16,247 --> 00:12:19,045
I'm going to have a shower. I'm all sticky.
236
00:12:19,087 --> 00:12:21,760
I actually stepped into a tiny patch of fresh air
237
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:25,846
between the air-conditioned limousine
and the air-conditioned hotel.
238
00:12:25,887 --> 00:12:28,481
- God, give me strength.
- I heard that.
239
00:12:28,527 --> 00:12:30,518
I hope God did.
240
00:12:32,927 --> 00:12:35,043
(Shower running)
241
00:12:45,727 --> 00:12:47,877
- Hello.
- Hi. How can I help you?
242
00:12:47,927 --> 00:12:50,964
I want to make a long-distance call to London.
243
00:12:51,967 --> 00:12:53,958
Yes. London, England.
244
00:12:55,047 --> 00:12:56,526
(Classical music)
245
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,558
Coffee, madam?
246
00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:03,842
- It rather suits you, you know.
- You don't think it's too much?
247
00:13:03,887 --> 00:13:07,675
No. No, I think that pink
is definitely your colour.
248
00:13:07,727 --> 00:13:08,716
Oh!
249
00:13:08,767 --> 00:13:10,519
Shift up.
250
00:13:12,407 --> 00:13:14,398
- (Sighs)
- Well...
251
00:13:14,447 --> 00:13:16,802
this is all very domesticated, isn't it?
252
00:13:19,287 --> 00:13:20,402
Oh.
253
00:13:20,447 --> 00:13:22,085
Wrong word?
254
00:13:22,127 --> 00:13:23,799
I prefer...
255
00:13:23,847 --> 00:13:24,996
cosy.
256
00:13:25,047 --> 00:13:27,356
I wasn't dropping hints, you know.
257
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:31,685
I've tried domesticity twice.
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
258
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:34,525
Besides, if I was really after you,
259
00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:37,718
I'd be a lot more subtle about it than that.
260
00:13:37,767 --> 00:13:42,238
You see, my trouble is, Judy,
that I'm not sure that I'm after you.
261
00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:45,282
Oh.
262
00:13:45,327 --> 00:13:47,318
Or not.
263
00:13:48,367 --> 00:13:50,119
Oh.
264
00:13:52,367 --> 00:13:54,358
Gone very quiet, hasn't it?
265
00:13:54,407 --> 00:13:56,716
- Yes, it has a bit.
- (Phone rings)
266
00:14:02,207 --> 00:14:03,606
Hello.
267
00:14:03,647 --> 00:14:05,638
Mum, how are you?
268
00:14:05,687 --> 00:14:07,439
What?
269
00:14:09,287 --> 00:14:14,042
You're phoning because Lionel's in the shower?
Why? Has he got stuck in there or something?
270
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,078
I don't want him to hear me.
271
00:14:16,127 --> 00:14:19,039
Look, love, is Alistair with you?
272
00:14:19,087 --> 00:14:22,443
- Why? Should he be?
- A shot in the dark.
273
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:25,763
Well, he is as a matter of fact.
274
00:14:25,807 --> 00:14:28,799
We were just having coffee. Yes, we were.
275
00:14:28,847 --> 00:14:31,725
I didn't say anything.
Could I have a word with him?
276
00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:33,758
Of course. It's Mum for you.
277
00:14:36,047 --> 00:14:38,481
Hi, lovely lady. How's sunny Cal?
278
00:14:38,527 --> 00:14:41,963
- Alistair. It's a nightmare.
- What? All of it?
279
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:43,998
Well, no, mostly Lionel.
280
00:14:44,047 --> 00:14:48,916
He and Cy are from different galaxies.
And now Cy's bringing in some other people.
281
00:14:48,967 --> 00:14:52,880
Only three, but it could be hundreds
and Lionel's turning defensive.
282
00:14:52,927 --> 00:14:56,283
- Downright rude, you mean?
- Well, pretty close.
283
00:14:56,327 --> 00:15:00,923
And I'm not helping. I'm trying to compensate
and coming over as whingeing apologist.
284
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:02,958
I thought you'd be the dream team.
285
00:15:03,007 --> 00:15:05,726
It's a nightmare. We need backup.
286
00:15:05,767 --> 00:15:07,246
We need you.
287
00:15:07,287 --> 00:15:09,278
Mm. Hold the fort.
288
00:15:09,327 --> 00:15:11,966
(American accent) The cavalry is on its way.
289
00:15:12,007 --> 00:15:14,521
Tell Judy to give you a big kiss from me.
290
00:15:14,567 --> 00:15:17,206
I will, I will. Catch you later.
291
00:15:17,247 --> 00:15:18,646
Thank you, Alistair.
292
00:15:18,687 --> 00:15:22,646
Before you go, the lady I get my reward from
wants a quick word.
293
00:15:22,687 --> 00:15:23,915
What reward?
294
00:15:24,727 --> 00:15:26,718
What reward?
295
00:15:26,767 --> 00:15:31,887
(Laughs) I see. Look, don't worry, Mum,
Alistair will sort everything out.
296
00:15:31,927 --> 00:15:33,918
Yes. Love to Lionel.
297
00:15:35,287 --> 00:15:37,278
Tell Alistair what?
298
00:15:38,567 --> 00:15:40,444
Right. Bye.
299
00:15:40,487 --> 00:15:41,920
Take care.
300
00:15:42,967 --> 00:15:44,559
What are you smiling for?
301
00:15:44,607 --> 00:15:50,682
Mum said that should you need a robe, there's
one of Lionel's hanging on their bedroom door.
302
00:15:59,687 --> 00:16:01,678
Who were you talking to?
303
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,718
- When?
- Just now.
304
00:16:05,127 --> 00:16:06,526
Oh, I was on the phone.
305
00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:09,764
You didn't ring Cy to tell him
how funny his joke was, did you?
306
00:16:09,807 --> 00:16:12,037
(Laughs) How did you know?
307
00:16:12,087 --> 00:16:14,237
Who did you ring, then?
308
00:16:15,367 --> 00:16:21,203
Er, room service. Yes, I er... I've ordered lunch.
Well, I thought we could eat it out there.
309
00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:23,238
Oh, I see. Good idea.
310
00:16:23,287 --> 00:16:27,997
Well, I'll say this for American service, it is
quick. Probably be here in about ten minutes.
311
00:16:28,047 --> 00:16:30,038
Yes.
312
00:16:30,087 --> 00:16:32,078
What did you order?
313
00:16:32,127 --> 00:16:33,924
It's a surprise.
314
00:16:33,967 --> 00:16:35,082
Oh.
315
00:16:36,087 --> 00:16:37,998
I shall look forward to it, then.
316
00:16:38,047 --> 00:16:40,038
- Oh, good.
- (They laugh)
317
00:16:43,527 --> 00:16:47,520
- I think I'll have a quick shower before lunch.
- You'd better hurry up.
318
00:16:47,567 --> 00:16:48,886
Yes.
319
00:17:03,887 --> 00:17:05,878
Hello, room service?
320
00:17:05,927 --> 00:17:09,442
I would like to order lunch. A very quick lunch.
321
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:11,478
Yes. Um...
322
00:17:11,527 --> 00:17:13,518
We'd like er...
323
00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:15,239
We...
324
00:17:15,287 --> 00:17:17,676
Oh. I'll have to call you back.
325
00:17:26,527 --> 00:17:28,836
- I forgot something.
- Oh.
326
00:17:28,887 --> 00:17:31,924
- What did you forget?
- I've just remembered it's in here.
327
00:17:38,207 --> 00:17:41,085
Room service? Yes, it's me again. (Coughs)
328
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:45,359
Yes, the me being Jean Pargetter in room 2305.
329
00:17:45,407 --> 00:17:47,159
And this is me in the other room.
330
00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:56,801
You didn't have to let me
go through that charade.
331
00:17:56,847 --> 00:17:58,838
You didn't have to play it.
332
00:17:58,887 --> 00:18:02,926
Why not just tell me that you phoned Alistair
in the first place?
333
00:18:02,967 --> 00:18:04,958
Well, I just didn't want...
334
00:18:05,007 --> 00:18:09,000
- How did you know I'd phoned Alistair?
- Simple deduction.
335
00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:12,676
My first skirmish with Cy
wasn't the most auspicious of starts, was it?
336
00:18:12,727 --> 00:18:16,163
So what would you do but rub the lamp
and summon the genie Alistair?
337
00:18:16,207 --> 00:18:18,960
- If you're going to get...
- No, it's a very good idea.
338
00:18:19,007 --> 00:18:22,238
- What?
- Let's face it, I need all the help I can get.
339
00:18:22,287 --> 00:18:24,960
I only understand about one word in five
Cy utters.
340
00:18:25,007 --> 00:18:27,726
I can understand two,
or even three, of Alistair's.
341
00:18:27,767 --> 00:18:32,841
I'm sorry. I wouldn't have gone behind your back
if I'd thought you'd agree.
342
00:18:32,887 --> 00:18:35,879
I see. No, I don't, but it doesn't matter.
343
00:18:35,927 --> 00:18:39,158
- We'll do a better show in the second innings.
- We have to.
344
00:18:39,207 --> 00:18:41,198
Now, what about this lunch?
345
00:18:41,247 --> 00:18:43,886
Let's phone room service.
346
00:18:43,927 --> 00:18:45,804
Well...
347
00:18:45,847 --> 00:18:50,045
Oh, hello. Room service?
This is the English eccentrics in suite 2305.
348
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,078
We'd like to order some lunch.
349
00:18:54,607 --> 00:18:58,520
- Alistair's not going to make it on time.
- I've been trying to work that out.
350
00:18:58,567 --> 00:19:02,606
If he flew Concorde this morning,
he'd arrive in New York an hour before he left.
351
00:19:02,647 --> 00:19:05,764
Which only leaves 3,000 miles
between New York and here.
352
00:19:05,807 --> 00:19:08,605
What's the time difference between the coasts?
353
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:11,286
Well, if the sun... Oh, goodness knows.
354
00:19:13,167 --> 00:19:15,556
One decaf and one blueberry muffin.
355
00:19:15,607 --> 00:19:18,360
- I don't think we ordered that.
- No, your friend did.
356
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:21,479
- No, I didn't.
- Not you, sir. Your other friend.
357
00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:23,995
This friend! Hi, lovely lady. Hi, Li.
358
00:19:24,047 --> 00:19:27,403
- Alistair, I could almost love you at times.
- Oh, woof!
359
00:19:27,447 --> 00:19:30,519
I wouldn't go that far,
but I am pleased to see you.
360
00:19:30,567 --> 00:19:33,320
Which tab does the decaf and the muffin go on?
361
00:19:33,367 --> 00:19:37,406
Oh, mine, and the coffees as well. Suite 2830.
362
00:19:38,487 --> 00:19:42,275
Thank you, Mary Beth.
You did say your name was Mary Beth?
363
00:19:42,327 --> 00:19:45,046
- Yes, I did.
- What a pretty name.
364
00:19:45,087 --> 00:19:47,078
Thank you.
365
00:19:47,127 --> 00:19:51,518
- You have a nice day.
- Hey. And you have a nice day too.
366
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:57,241
- When you've finished, Alistair.
- Ah, sorry.
367
00:19:57,287 --> 00:20:00,484
- How did you get here?
- We got as far as Concorde to New York.
368
00:20:00,527 --> 00:20:04,315
No, no, Li. Concorde to Barbados.
I have a mate there with a private jet.
369
00:20:04,367 --> 00:20:09,395
Hopped over to Florida, called Cy to say hi,
then on American to LAX, chopper from there.
370
00:20:09,447 --> 00:20:11,005
The obvious way to come.
371
00:20:11,047 --> 00:20:16,041
Hey, we'd better roll. I'll fill you in in the limo,
but here's the big play. Agree.
372
00:20:16,087 --> 00:20:17,964
Agree?
373
00:20:18,007 --> 00:20:19,884
Well, it isn't a dirty word, Lionel.
374
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:24,045
You see, Li, they may throw us a few curves
before we get where we're going,
375
00:20:24,087 --> 00:20:28,000
but when they do, bite the bullet,
think of the money and agree.
376
00:20:28,047 --> 00:20:30,197
All right, I'll do my best.
377
00:20:30,247 --> 00:20:34,684
Perhaps we could buy a bullet for him to bite on
on the way.
378
00:20:34,727 --> 00:20:36,718
Everybody comfortable?
379
00:20:36,767 --> 00:20:37,802
OK.
380
00:20:37,847 --> 00:20:42,716
First, let me say how thrilled I am
that Alistair is able to sit in with us.
381
00:20:42,767 --> 00:20:44,837
Also Josh and Lisa.
382
00:20:44,887 --> 00:20:46,957
And of course, Stefan.
383
00:20:48,327 --> 00:20:53,526
Let me also say, Jean and Lionel, that what
we have here, your great love story, is a project
384
00:20:53,567 --> 00:20:57,560
we all think can ultimately be developed
into a... a...
385
00:20:57,607 --> 00:20:59,677
- Stunning.
...stunning miniseries.
386
00:20:59,727 --> 00:21:00,955
- Oh, good.
- Good.
387
00:21:01,007 --> 00:21:02,838
We are very excited, Cy.
388
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:05,355
Now, as I said, we love this.
389
00:21:05,407 --> 00:21:10,686
But first, let Josh and Lisa tell you
of a very few minor alterations to the story
390
00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:14,686
you might like to take on board. Josh, Lisa.
391
00:21:15,527 --> 00:21:19,884
Now, we'll call the lead characters
Lionel and Jean for the moment.
392
00:21:19,927 --> 00:21:21,804
For the purposes of simplification.
393
00:21:22,567 --> 00:21:28,915
Now, Lionel is a young British officer
and Jean is a young British nurse.
394
00:21:28,967 --> 00:21:32,323
- We were.
- Oh, right, but here's the first curve.
395
00:21:32,367 --> 00:21:34,437
You don't meet in London at all.
396
00:21:34,487 --> 00:21:38,082
You meet in Korea
when Lionel is shot in the head.
397
00:21:38,127 --> 00:21:42,166
- Not fatally, you understand.
- Or we don't have a story.
398
00:21:42,207 --> 00:21:43,879
Quite.
399
00:21:43,927 --> 00:21:49,160
No. The bullet just grazes his temple,
but causes a complete memory loss.
400
00:21:49,207 --> 00:21:51,880
It is now that he meets Jean.
401
00:21:51,927 --> 00:21:54,805
Whom he doesn't know
because they've never met.
402
00:21:54,847 --> 00:21:56,917
- Oh, am I in Korea?
- (Lisa) Of course.
403
00:21:56,967 --> 00:21:59,242
- As a nurse.
- Of course.
404
00:21:59,287 --> 00:22:04,964
So it's Jean who nurses him, Jean he falls
in love with when they return to England,
405
00:22:05,007 --> 00:22:06,599
and Jean he marries.
406
00:22:07,847 --> 00:22:11,362
But then Lionel is involved
in a shooting accident.
407
00:22:11,407 --> 00:22:13,796
- Maybe grouse shooting, uh?
- Ooh.
408
00:22:13,847 --> 00:22:17,760
- We haven't firmed on that yet.
- Either way, he's wounded in the head.
409
00:22:17,807 --> 00:22:19,798
And he regains his memory.
410
00:22:19,847 --> 00:22:21,838
(Lisa) Right!
411
00:22:21,887 --> 00:22:23,878
His memory restored,
412
00:22:23,927 --> 00:22:29,445
Lionel forgets Jean and returns
to what he had planned to do after the army.
413
00:22:29,487 --> 00:22:33,116
He goes to Kenya, Africa, to plant coffee.
414
00:22:33,167 --> 00:22:34,759
Do I know where he's gone?
415
00:22:34,807 --> 00:22:41,997
No, but Jean finds out and follows him to Kenya,
where she takes a job as his secretary.
416
00:22:42,047 --> 00:22:45,005
Remember, Lionel still doesn't know who she is.
417
00:22:45,047 --> 00:22:46,958
This has me by the throat.
418
00:22:47,007 --> 00:22:49,601
- Me too.
- I agree.
419
00:22:52,767 --> 00:22:56,521
- Is there going to be another accident?
- You're right.
420
00:22:56,567 --> 00:22:58,717
Jean is bitten by a snake.
421
00:22:58,767 --> 00:23:00,564
A poisonous snake.
422
00:23:00,607 --> 00:23:05,601
The nearest serum is 50 miles away
through the bush. Lionel drives off in his jeep.
423
00:23:05,647 --> 00:23:08,559
- And has an accident?
- (Lisa) Right again.
424
00:23:08,607 --> 00:23:12,680
Maybe we could roll the jeep,
have a head-on collision with a rhinoceros.
425
00:23:12,727 --> 00:23:15,764
(Laughs) Well, we haven't firmed on that yet.
426
00:23:15,807 --> 00:23:18,401
But, and this is the but...
427
00:23:18,447 --> 00:23:21,325
the accident makes Lionel regain his memory.
428
00:23:21,367 --> 00:23:25,280
It makes him remember who he is,
makes him remember who Jean is.
429
00:23:25,327 --> 00:23:26,760
Not his secretary.
430
00:23:26,807 --> 00:23:29,605
No. The woman he loves.
431
00:23:29,647 --> 00:23:32,605
The girl he's been married to all this time.
432
00:23:32,647 --> 00:23:34,478
Hurt though he is,
433
00:23:34,527 --> 00:23:36,324
Lionel gets the serum,
434
00:23:36,367 --> 00:23:39,916
gets back to Jean and saves her from death.
435
00:23:40,767 --> 00:23:41,756
End.
436
00:23:44,127 --> 00:23:45,685
Mike?
437
00:23:45,727 --> 00:23:47,285
I have to think about this.
438
00:23:47,327 --> 00:23:49,795
- I think it's brilliant.
- So do I.
439
00:23:49,847 --> 00:23:52,156
- Alistair?
- Incredible.
440
00:23:52,207 --> 00:23:53,401
Lionel?
441
00:23:56,407 --> 00:23:58,398
I think...
442
00:23:59,607 --> 00:24:02,724
- I think it's very good indeed.
- And Jean?
443
00:24:02,767 --> 00:24:07,602
I think it's the biggest load of claptrap
I've ever heard in the whole of my life.
444
00:24:08,607 --> 00:24:12,998
It's Random Harvest, a mangled version.
It's Ronald Colman and Greer Garson.
445
00:24:13,047 --> 00:24:18,440
Take out the snake and Lionel being shot
every five minutes and there's nothing in it.
446
00:24:18,487 --> 00:24:23,242
There's not an original thought in it. There's
no truth in it. We were true, we are true!
447
00:24:23,287 --> 00:24:26,802
- That's what we thought you wanted.
- That's what I should have said.
448
00:24:26,847 --> 00:24:30,806
- Cy Liebermann. I'm going to kill you!
- Harry!
449
00:24:30,847 --> 00:24:32,166
- Who's he?
- A writer.
450
00:24:32,207 --> 00:24:34,198
- Listen...
- No, you listen.
451
00:24:35,207 --> 00:24:37,562
You cancelled my series, Cy.
452
00:24:37,607 --> 00:24:40,041
You never gave it a chance.
453
00:24:40,087 --> 00:24:43,238
Now you don't get a chance. I'm gonna kill you.
454
00:24:43,287 --> 00:24:45,596
The rest of you, hit the floor now!
455
00:24:46,767 --> 00:24:47,995
Now I said!
456
00:24:48,047 --> 00:24:50,038
No, this is a new dress.
457
00:24:50,087 --> 00:24:55,036
And we were just building up
to a damn good row, so just wait your turn.
458
00:24:56,207 --> 00:24:58,198
And in the meantime...
459
00:24:59,247 --> 00:25:01,761
don't be so...
460
00:25:01,807 --> 00:25:03,923
hysterical.
461
00:25:03,967 --> 00:25:06,197
- (Sobs)
- (Jean) Oh.
462
00:25:06,247 --> 00:25:08,238
Poor man.
463
00:25:11,487 --> 00:25:13,079
An unusual sort of day.
464
00:25:13,127 --> 00:25:15,687
Yes. I wonder what happened to Harry?
465
00:25:15,727 --> 00:25:18,764
Last time I heard, he was being hospitalised.
466
00:25:18,807 --> 00:25:21,685
Probably in a home for bewildered writers.
467
00:25:21,727 --> 00:25:23,718
Must be jam-packed in there.
468
00:25:24,247 --> 00:25:27,876
Lionel, did you know that gun
was only a replica?
469
00:25:27,927 --> 00:25:31,317
No, it was you saying you had a new dress on,
it just made me angry.
470
00:25:31,367 --> 00:25:34,677
- I got angry with Josh and Lisa, didn't I?
- Somewhat.
471
00:25:34,727 --> 00:25:39,118
Ironic. I get Alistair over here to keep you calm
and I'm the one that does her nut.
472
00:25:39,167 --> 00:25:40,885
I thought you did it beautifully.
473
00:25:40,927 --> 00:25:44,920
- (Knock at door)
- Probably Josh and Lisa and a machine gun.
474
00:25:46,367 --> 00:25:51,885
Li, you will be the talking point of every eatery
in LA this evening.
475
00:25:51,927 --> 00:25:54,600
"Hero Brit saves Cy of CBS."
476
00:25:54,647 --> 00:25:56,444
I was trying to save Jean's dress.
477
00:25:56,487 --> 00:25:59,957
It doesn't read as well.
Hello, Alistair, how is everybody?
478
00:26:00,007 --> 00:26:01,679
Stefan is in shock.
479
00:26:01,727 --> 00:26:04,116
Mike is angling for a spot on the evening news,
480
00:26:04,167 --> 00:26:06,283
Cy is watching a rerun of Random Harvest,
481
00:26:06,327 --> 00:26:09,524
Josh and Lisa are with him
slipping lower into their seats.
482
00:26:09,567 --> 00:26:11,159
Why are you guys packing?
483
00:26:11,207 --> 00:26:13,277
- We're going.
- Before we're deported.
484
00:26:13,327 --> 00:26:15,966
No way, Jose. Li, you have a deal.
485
00:26:16,007 --> 00:26:19,079
- It's pay or play.
- You mean if I won't play, they won't pay?
486
00:26:19,127 --> 00:26:23,120
No, no, no.
Li, you get to write the first scripts your way.
487
00:26:23,167 --> 00:26:26,603
And you get paid whether
they ultimately use them or not.
488
00:26:26,647 --> 00:26:28,046
Er...
489
00:26:28,087 --> 00:26:29,998
I think Lionel is trying to say why?
490
00:26:30,047 --> 00:26:34,643
The dream team. You, Jean, by setting
a precedent by actually saying what you think,
491
00:26:34,687 --> 00:26:37,679
and you, Li, by just happening to save Cy's life.
492
00:26:37,727 --> 00:26:41,083
- I told you, I was trying to save...
- Jean's dress. Yes, I know.
493
00:26:41,127 --> 00:26:44,085
But Cy doesn't see it that way
and who am I to disabuse him?
494
00:26:44,127 --> 00:26:50,282
Lastly and modestly, I happened to drop a hint
that NBC are also very hot on the same project.
495
00:26:50,327 --> 00:26:52,318
We won. We actually won.
496
00:26:52,367 --> 00:26:55,598
- Not the war, just the battle.
- We'll settle for the battle.
497
00:26:55,647 --> 00:27:00,163
As for fleeing the country, hey,
Cy says you stay as long as you like.
498
00:27:00,207 --> 00:27:03,404
- We'll go home tomorrow, then, shall we?
- Yes.
499
00:27:03,447 --> 00:27:05,756
- A drizzly day in Holland Park.
- What?
500
00:27:05,807 --> 00:27:09,004
- That's Lionel's new book.
- Why don't I know about this?
501
00:27:09,047 --> 00:27:12,517
- I don't know about this. She made it up.
- Nice title, though.
502
00:27:12,567 --> 00:27:15,161
- Right. Dinner's on me this evening.
- Oh.
503
00:27:15,207 --> 00:27:19,325
I know, I know, I know.
But I promise, the place is quiet,
504
00:27:19,367 --> 00:27:22,598
the food is good,
I can be very discreet by 10:30,
505
00:27:22,647 --> 00:27:26,640
and they speak a language
we can all understand. Romanian.
506
00:27:26,687 --> 00:27:28,439
(They laugh)
507
00:27:28,487 --> 00:27:30,762
Catch you later.
508
00:27:31,927 --> 00:27:36,603
- There's got to be a snag in all this.
- No. Your Cy's flavour of the month.
509
00:27:36,647 --> 00:27:38,558
Yeah, but it's the 27th.
510
00:27:39,767 --> 00:27:42,361
- Ooh!
- I'm sorry, did I hurt you?
511
00:27:42,407 --> 00:27:44,204
I was only mucking about.
512
00:27:44,247 --> 00:27:45,566
- Oooh.
- Oh.
513
00:27:45,607 --> 00:27:47,598
Are you all right?
514
00:27:49,927 --> 00:27:52,395
Who are you?
515
00:27:54,127 --> 00:27:56,118
I don't know who you are.
516
00:27:57,967 --> 00:27:59,958
Think of me as Greer Garson.
517
00:28:00,007 --> 00:28:01,998
(They laugh)
518
00:28:08,767 --> 00:28:11,565
# You must remember this
519
00:28:11,607 --> 00:28:13,962
# A kiss is still a kiss
520
00:28:14,007 --> 00:28:17,920
# A sigh is just a sigh
521
00:28:19,607 --> 00:28:23,395
# The fundamental things apply
522
00:28:23,447 --> 00:28:27,360
# As time goes by
523
00:28:30,407 --> 00:28:33,001
# And when two lovers woo
524
00:28:33,047 --> 00:28:35,800
# They still say I love you
525
00:28:35,847 --> 00:28:38,884
# On that you can rely
526
00:28:41,407 --> 00:28:45,480
# The world will always welcome lovers
527
00:28:46,967 --> 00:28:55,159
# As time goes by #
42680
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