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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,167 --> 00:00:12,920 # You must remember this 2 00:00:13,327 --> 00:00:15,682 # A kiss is still a kiss 3 00:00:15,727 --> 00:00:18,764 # A sigh is just a sigh 4 00:00:21,247 --> 00:00:24,956 # The fundamental things apply 5 00:00:25,007 --> 00:00:28,795 # As time goes by # 6 00:00:35,927 --> 00:00:39,237 I'm not carrying on. All I said was the bacon was done to a crisp. 7 00:00:39,287 --> 00:00:42,245 It was supposed to be. You ordered crispy bacon. 8 00:00:42,287 --> 00:00:44,084 - Are you sure? - I heard you. 9 00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:46,322 It was that waitress. She confused me. 10 00:00:46,367 --> 00:00:50,155 I asked for fried eggs and she suggested about 50 ways of frying them. 11 00:00:50,207 --> 00:00:54,519 Same with the bacon. As for ordering toast, well, forget it if you're in a hurry. 12 00:00:54,567 --> 00:00:59,766 Took her half an hour to tell me how many different sorts of toast I could have. 13 00:00:59,807 --> 00:01:03,402 - You like Los Angeles, then? - If we eat downstairs this evening, 14 00:01:03,447 --> 00:01:07,156 we should go down about five o'clock, it will take two hours to order. 15 00:01:07,207 --> 00:01:09,198 I know what this is all about. 16 00:01:09,247 --> 00:01:10,885 Your bottle's gone. 17 00:01:10,927 --> 00:01:14,363 My bottle has not gone. It's just different, that's all. 18 00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:17,479 It's one thing fantasising about a miniseries in London, 19 00:01:17,527 --> 00:01:19,404 it's quite another to be over here 20 00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:22,803 trying to convince Mike whatsit and Cy thingummy to make it. 21 00:01:22,847 --> 00:01:26,601 Mike Barbosa and Cy Liebermann, they're halfway sold on it already. 22 00:01:26,647 --> 00:01:28,717 They blow very hot and cold, Americans. 23 00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:32,316 You couldn't order breakfast, but you're an expert on Americans. 24 00:01:32,367 --> 00:01:34,642 I'm just trying not to be over-optimistic. 25 00:01:34,687 --> 00:01:38,680 I don't think there's much danger of that. In the meantime, enjoy. 26 00:01:38,727 --> 00:01:42,959 - That's what the waitress kept saying. - Well, we should. I mean, here we are. 27 00:01:43,007 --> 00:01:48,445 First-class flight, a lovely suite, and look. Look out there, Lionel, just look. 28 00:01:49,447 --> 00:01:50,436 Well? 29 00:01:50,487 --> 00:01:52,159 Smog. 30 00:01:53,927 --> 00:01:55,918 In the hills above the smog. 31 00:01:59,447 --> 00:02:01,438 - More smog. - No. 32 00:02:01,487 --> 00:02:03,398 It's Hollywood. We're in Hollywood. 33 00:02:03,447 --> 00:02:05,677 - You're excited, aren't you? - Yes, I am. 34 00:02:05,727 --> 00:02:08,924 Oh, you have to admit, this beats a rainy day in Holland Park. 35 00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:13,165 - I know where things are in Holland Park. - I want to stroll down Sunset Boulevard. 36 00:02:13,207 --> 00:02:16,563 - Let's stroll down it. - You don't know that's Sunset Boulevard. 37 00:02:16,607 --> 00:02:20,646 - Well, it's somewhere down there. - (Phone rings) 38 00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:26,395 Hello. 39 00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,438 Oh, good morning. 40 00:02:28,487 --> 00:02:30,478 Yes, we're... 41 00:02:30,527 --> 00:02:31,960 Are you? 42 00:02:32,007 --> 00:02:33,998 Right. Fine. 43 00:02:35,127 --> 00:02:37,846 Mike Barbosa's in the lobby, he's on his way up. 44 00:02:37,887 --> 00:02:41,277 A drizzly day in Holland Park suddenly sounds attractive. 45 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:44,046 - Now whose bottle's gone? - I'm just nervous for you. 46 00:02:44,087 --> 00:02:48,126 - You will remember Alistair's advice? - Be very calm, very cool, very British. 47 00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:50,203 - Where are you going? - I need a pee. 48 00:02:50,247 --> 00:02:53,364 - You won't be long, will you? - (Knock at door) 49 00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,398 Oh. 50 00:02:57,687 --> 00:03:00,997 Hello again, Jean, good to see you. Welcome to Los Angeles. 51 00:03:01,047 --> 00:03:03,163 - A small token. May I come in? - Oh. 52 00:03:03,207 --> 00:03:07,041 Hello. You too. Thank you, how kind. Please do. 53 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:09,555 Good flight? Great. Where's Lionel? 54 00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,677 - Oh, he's, erm... - Taking a leak. 55 00:03:12,687 --> 00:03:15,326 - You have a leak? - No, no! No, no. 56 00:03:15,367 --> 00:03:17,961 Lionel meant... Oh, here he is. 57 00:03:19,247 --> 00:03:22,956 - Lionel, good to see you again. How are you? - Much better now, thanks. 58 00:03:23,007 --> 00:03:24,406 Been unwell? 59 00:03:24,447 --> 00:03:26,438 No, no, no. I just had a leak. 60 00:03:26,487 --> 00:03:30,162 - Gee, why did you say you didn't? - I didn't. Lionel did. 61 00:03:30,207 --> 00:03:31,560 I'm sorry? 62 00:03:31,607 --> 00:03:35,566 We're using "leak" in a different sense. You know... sort of... 63 00:03:35,607 --> 00:03:40,886 - Right. A leak. I must remember that one. - This is the language of Shakespeare, after all. 64 00:03:40,927 --> 00:03:42,883 Right. 65 00:03:42,927 --> 00:03:45,395 I'm sorry we didn't respond to your message. 66 00:03:45,447 --> 00:03:48,757 Hey, that's no problem. I just didn't want you to feel ignored. 67 00:03:48,807 --> 00:03:52,277 - You were probably working out in the gym. - Working out in the gym? 68 00:03:52,327 --> 00:03:54,682 No, we were having a breakfast, a big fry-up. 69 00:03:55,927 --> 00:03:57,804 Really? Right. 70 00:03:58,807 --> 00:04:00,877 - Well, shall we sit down? - OK. 71 00:04:00,927 --> 00:04:02,121 Please. 72 00:04:03,287 --> 00:04:07,200 Right. So... I have good news and I've got better news. 73 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,966 The good news is Cy Liebermann's therapy session 74 00:04:10,007 --> 00:04:12,475 - has been put back to this afternoon. - Therapy? 75 00:04:12,527 --> 00:04:16,076 Yeah. Cy's working his way through an alienation problem right now. 76 00:04:16,127 --> 00:04:18,277 Who is he alienated to or from? 77 00:04:18,327 --> 00:04:20,124 - His wife. - Oh, dear. 78 00:04:20,167 --> 00:04:24,445 No, no, it's great because Melissa is working her way through a rejection problem. 79 00:04:24,487 --> 00:04:27,445 - Are either of you in therapy? - Not yet, no. 80 00:04:28,807 --> 00:04:34,359 That's great. Anyway, the better news is that Cy can now see us at 11:30 if that's convenient. 81 00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:36,875 - Good. - Excellent. We can have our walk first. 82 00:04:36,927 --> 00:04:38,360 A walk? 83 00:04:38,407 --> 00:04:40,079 Yes. A stroll. 84 00:04:40,127 --> 00:04:41,765 Stroll? 85 00:04:41,807 --> 00:04:44,685 If it helps, think of it as a strolling walk. 86 00:04:44,727 --> 00:04:46,319 Nobody walks in LA. 87 00:04:46,367 --> 00:04:50,724 I mean, I don't mean nobody literally walks, I mean that... 88 00:04:50,767 --> 00:04:52,405 Nobody walks. 89 00:04:52,447 --> 00:04:56,235 Well, that's that cleared up. Perhaps we could roller-skate. 90 00:04:56,287 --> 00:04:58,164 It was a... sort of joke. 91 00:04:58,207 --> 00:05:00,198 Oh, yeah. Yeah, right. 92 00:05:00,247 --> 00:05:05,275 Uh, look, there's a stretch limo parked outside at your permanent disposal. Use that, please. 93 00:05:05,327 --> 00:05:06,965 Well, if it makes you happy. 94 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:11,239 - More to the point, Lionel, it makes you safe. - They're big cars, stretch limos. 95 00:05:11,287 --> 00:05:13,596 - Oh, very big. - Well, we'll compromise. 96 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:17,401 We'll walk around inside it as we drive along. (Laughs) 97 00:05:19,047 --> 00:05:20,878 (Laughs) 98 00:05:23,567 --> 00:05:25,285 I wish you wouldn't cry. 99 00:05:25,327 --> 00:05:27,761 Oh, Harry, will you please stop crying? 100 00:05:27,807 --> 00:05:32,005 Now, look. Cancelling your series is not the end of the world. 101 00:05:32,047 --> 00:05:35,517 Suicide is a very ugly word, Harry. 102 00:05:35,567 --> 00:05:36,886 (Knock at door) 103 00:05:36,927 --> 00:05:38,997 I'm putting you on hold, Harry. 104 00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,321 Who is this? 105 00:05:40,367 --> 00:05:43,120 Cy. I have Lionel and Jean here. 106 00:05:43,167 --> 00:05:46,796 - Lionel and Jean who? - The Brits. The Korean War miniseries project. 107 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,439 Oh, right. 108 00:05:48,487 --> 00:05:51,240 - Mike, do I like it? - You're crazy for it. 109 00:05:51,287 --> 00:05:53,278 Well, good. Get 'em in. 110 00:05:54,567 --> 00:05:55,886 Ah. 111 00:05:56,687 --> 00:05:58,678 Guy meets girl. 112 00:05:58,727 --> 00:06:00,718 They fall in love. 113 00:06:00,767 --> 00:06:02,485 Guy goes to war. 114 00:06:02,527 --> 00:06:04,518 Guy loses girl. 115 00:06:04,567 --> 00:06:07,081 I'm crazy for this? 116 00:06:07,127 --> 00:06:10,961 - Lionel, Jean, say hello to Cy Liebermann. - How do you do? 117 00:06:11,007 --> 00:06:14,238 Cy is vice president in charge of miniseries development. 118 00:06:14,287 --> 00:06:19,566 Oh, it is so very, very... thrilling to meet you both. Really, it's wonderful. 119 00:06:19,607 --> 00:06:21,518 - Please sit down. - Thank you. 120 00:06:21,567 --> 00:06:24,639 If you'll excuse me momentarily, I have someone on hold. 121 00:06:24,687 --> 00:06:26,678 It's a fellow writer, Lionel. 122 00:06:26,727 --> 00:06:28,445 Hm. 123 00:06:28,487 --> 00:06:32,321 Harry, you are still crying instead of communicating, Harry. 124 00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:37,445 I know I said I loved your series, Harry, but that was before I saw the ratings. 125 00:06:37,487 --> 00:06:39,717 That does not make me a bad person. 126 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:44,238 I know that isn't the word you used, Harry, but I have a lady in the office. 127 00:06:44,287 --> 00:06:46,801 I love you too, Harry. 128 00:06:46,847 --> 00:06:48,246 Sore loser. 129 00:06:48,847 --> 00:06:54,001 So... It is so very, very wonderful to meet you both. 130 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,878 Really. Really. 131 00:06:55,927 --> 00:06:59,602 - It's thrilling. - Well, we're thrilled too, aren't we, Lionel? 132 00:06:59,647 --> 00:07:01,638 Oh, yes. Incredibly. 133 00:07:03,247 --> 00:07:05,681 So tell me, how is your queen? 134 00:07:05,727 --> 00:07:06,921 Pardon? 135 00:07:06,967 --> 00:07:09,276 Queen Elizabeth. 136 00:07:09,327 --> 00:07:12,478 Yes, I know her name, but how should I know how she is? 137 00:07:13,527 --> 00:07:18,647 No. No, what Lionel is saying is that we don't actually know her personally, 138 00:07:18,687 --> 00:07:22,202 but from what we gather, she's really quite well in herself. 139 00:07:24,087 --> 00:07:26,555 I'm very glad to hear that. Very glad. 140 00:07:27,407 --> 00:07:29,682 Your project. Uh... what's it called again? 141 00:07:29,727 --> 00:07:32,764 - (Mike and Jean) Just Two People. - Just Two People. Right. 142 00:07:32,807 --> 00:07:36,846 I think you should know that when Mike faxed me the outline from England, 143 00:07:36,887 --> 00:07:40,562 I became tremendously excited. I want this story to happen. 144 00:07:40,607 --> 00:07:42,165 It did. 145 00:07:42,207 --> 00:07:44,198 On screen, Lionel. 146 00:07:44,247 --> 00:07:46,477 A story which... 147 00:07:46,527 --> 00:07:48,199 which... Mike. 148 00:07:48,247 --> 00:07:49,646 Tears out your guts? 149 00:07:49,687 --> 00:07:51,325 - No. - Gives you stomachache? 150 00:07:51,367 --> 00:07:52,595 Sorry? 151 00:07:53,407 --> 00:07:55,841 - Lionel is joking, Cy. - Oh. 152 00:07:55,887 --> 00:08:00,563 You're discussing the publicity before you've even made it. That's the wrong way round. 153 00:08:00,607 --> 00:08:03,485 Not necessarily but I take the point. We need a meeting. 154 00:08:03,527 --> 00:08:05,677 I thought we were having one now. 155 00:08:05,727 --> 00:08:07,718 A meeting with Josh and Lisa sitting in. 156 00:08:07,767 --> 00:08:11,885 Josh and Lisa are creative consultants. When this project goes to script... 157 00:08:11,927 --> 00:08:16,557 If this development goes to script, I want them in on the team. 158 00:08:16,607 --> 00:08:18,404 What do they do, exactly? 159 00:08:18,447 --> 00:08:20,642 - Mike has just explained. - No, he hasn't. 160 00:08:20,687 --> 00:08:22,598 - I understood it. - What do they do? 161 00:08:22,647 --> 00:08:25,445 - They consult. - In a creative capacity. 162 00:08:25,487 --> 00:08:27,045 Capeesh? 163 00:08:27,087 --> 00:08:29,647 I don't know what anybody's talking about. 164 00:08:29,687 --> 00:08:31,678 Josh and Lisa are over at Fox. 165 00:08:31,727 --> 00:08:37,085 OK. So Mike, you arrange another meeting here with Josh and Lisa just as soon as you can. 166 00:08:37,127 --> 00:08:40,961 - Right. - Can it be soon? I'd quite like to go home. 167 00:08:41,007 --> 00:08:42,963 (Laughs) 168 00:08:43,007 --> 00:08:45,316 - Lionel's joking. - No, he isn't. 169 00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:49,564 I'm thinking of a drizzly day in Holland Park. 170 00:08:49,607 --> 00:08:53,077 That's the title of Lionel's new book. 171 00:08:54,487 --> 00:08:57,797 Oh, I understand. You writers. (Laughs) 172 00:08:57,847 --> 00:09:00,407 Yes. Us writers. (Laughs falsely) 173 00:09:01,527 --> 00:09:06,726 - Would you have anything to show us, Lionel? - What do you want me to show you? 174 00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:09,440 - Anything on the new book? - There isn't anything. 175 00:09:09,487 --> 00:09:12,763 No, no. It's... It's still in the development stage. 176 00:09:12,807 --> 00:09:15,162 Oh, I see. Not even a clue? 177 00:09:15,207 --> 00:09:16,799 Not even a clue. 178 00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:18,838 OK. So here's what we do. 179 00:09:18,887 --> 00:09:22,800 Mike, you find a window for Josh and Lisa and arrange another meeting. 180 00:09:22,847 --> 00:09:25,236 I think I'd like Stefan to sit in on that one. 181 00:09:25,287 --> 00:09:30,315 Meantime, Jean, Lionel, please just enjoy our beautiful, beautiful city. 182 00:09:30,367 --> 00:09:33,086 Anything you need, please call Mike. 183 00:09:33,127 --> 00:09:35,118 Good meeting, Lionel. 184 00:09:35,167 --> 00:09:36,964 Thrilling. 185 00:09:37,007 --> 00:09:38,645 Thank you, Mr Liebermann. 186 00:09:38,687 --> 00:09:41,963 - Oh, Cy, please. Only my wife calls me mister. - Oh. (Laughs) 187 00:09:46,967 --> 00:09:48,958 (She continues to laugh) 188 00:09:52,327 --> 00:09:53,601 Mike. 189 00:09:53,647 --> 00:09:56,161 Is it me or is Lionel a strange guy? 190 00:09:56,207 --> 00:09:58,198 Oh. He's a strange guy. 191 00:09:58,247 --> 00:09:59,396 Cy. 192 00:10:05,007 --> 00:10:07,885 - Obstructive, obtuse and what? - Wilful. 193 00:10:07,927 --> 00:10:11,044 That's an understatement of your behaviour at the meeting. 194 00:10:11,087 --> 00:10:13,647 I should have taken you in a pushchair. 195 00:10:13,687 --> 00:10:17,362 At least I'd have outranked Cy and Mike in their prams. 196 00:10:17,407 --> 00:10:19,557 Oh! 197 00:10:19,607 --> 00:10:22,440 - I can construe that as a sulk, can I? - Construe what? 198 00:10:22,487 --> 00:10:26,116 - You saying "Oh!" and flopping on the bed. - I did not flop. 199 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,556 - (Groans) - That was a flop. 200 00:10:28,607 --> 00:10:31,565 - You can't flop in a sitting position. - Oh! 201 00:10:32,647 --> 00:10:35,684 I do wish you'd stop tearing round the room going "Oh". 202 00:10:35,727 --> 00:10:38,116 - I did not tear anywhere. - (Sighs) 203 00:10:38,167 --> 00:10:40,476 - You keep sighing. - Is it jet lag? 204 00:10:40,527 --> 00:10:42,916 - Is what jet lag? - This mood of yours. 205 00:10:42,967 --> 00:10:45,083 You never look at yourself, do you? 206 00:10:45,127 --> 00:10:48,244 There's a time in life when mirrors lose their attraction. 207 00:10:48,287 --> 00:10:50,437 That's not what I meant and you know it. 208 00:10:50,487 --> 00:10:54,844 You went into that meeting today like some old empire builder meeting the natives. 209 00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:57,526 You were pompous, patronising and p... 210 00:10:58,287 --> 00:10:59,925 I'm looking for another P. 211 00:10:59,967 --> 00:11:01,446 Periwinkle? 212 00:11:01,487 --> 00:11:04,877 Pernickety. Look, Mike and Cy are there to help you. 213 00:11:04,927 --> 00:11:09,125 - They're not. They're there to make money. - Oh. What are you there for? 214 00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:10,919 - Fair point. - Thank you. 215 00:11:10,967 --> 00:11:15,119 But I'm not prepared to act like an idiot to do it. "How is your queen?" How do I know? 216 00:11:15,167 --> 00:11:17,727 - He was only being polite. - A veneer. 217 00:11:17,767 --> 00:11:21,601 - He's hard as nails underneath, Cy whatsit... - Liebermann. 218 00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:25,845 You heard him on the phone. Destroys someone's career and calls him a sore loser. 219 00:11:25,887 --> 00:11:29,118 - That could have been me. - No, you'd have punched him. 220 00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:32,842 - Or put him over my knee and spanked him. - That's what it is. It's age. 221 00:11:32,887 --> 00:11:35,845 Yes. They're children and they're running the world. 222 00:11:35,887 --> 00:11:37,878 The bit of it you want to make money from. 223 00:11:37,927 --> 00:11:41,442 And what's a creative consultant when he's at home? 224 00:11:41,487 --> 00:11:45,196 - Some kind of advisor, obviously. - And who's Stefan? 225 00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:48,284 Oh, Cy's hairdresser for all I know. 226 00:11:48,327 --> 00:11:51,080 I'm not fawning to that crowd if that's what you want. 227 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,687 Nobody asked you to fawn and it wasn't a crowd. 228 00:11:53,727 --> 00:11:58,926 - You wait till the next meeting. - Fight your nature and just try and be civil. 229 00:11:58,967 --> 00:12:04,917 If that includes cackling at jokes like, "Only my wife calls me mister", it's out of the question. 230 00:12:04,967 --> 00:12:06,844 - Who cackled? - You did. 231 00:12:06,887 --> 00:12:08,605 I did not cackle, I smiled. 232 00:12:08,647 --> 00:12:10,763 It was a pretty cackly sort of smile, then. 233 00:12:10,807 --> 00:12:13,367 If you go on like this, I'm going home. 234 00:12:13,407 --> 00:12:16,205 If they go on like this, I'll be there before you. 235 00:12:16,247 --> 00:12:19,045 I'm going to have a shower. I'm all sticky. 236 00:12:19,087 --> 00:12:21,760 I actually stepped into a tiny patch of fresh air 237 00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:25,846 between the air-conditioned limousine and the air-conditioned hotel. 238 00:12:25,887 --> 00:12:28,481 - God, give me strength. - I heard that. 239 00:12:28,527 --> 00:12:30,518 I hope God did. 240 00:12:32,927 --> 00:12:35,043 (Shower running) 241 00:12:45,727 --> 00:12:47,877 - Hello. - Hi. How can I help you? 242 00:12:47,927 --> 00:12:50,964 I want to make a long-distance call to London. 243 00:12:51,967 --> 00:12:53,958 Yes. London, England. 244 00:12:55,047 --> 00:12:56,526 (Classical music) 245 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,558 Coffee, madam? 246 00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:03,842 - It rather suits you, you know. - You don't think it's too much? 247 00:13:03,887 --> 00:13:07,675 No. No, I think that pink is definitely your colour. 248 00:13:07,727 --> 00:13:08,716 Oh! 249 00:13:08,767 --> 00:13:10,519 Shift up. 250 00:13:12,407 --> 00:13:14,398 - (Sighs) - Well... 251 00:13:14,447 --> 00:13:16,802 this is all very domesticated, isn't it? 252 00:13:19,287 --> 00:13:20,402 Oh. 253 00:13:20,447 --> 00:13:22,085 Wrong word? 254 00:13:22,127 --> 00:13:23,799 I prefer... 255 00:13:23,847 --> 00:13:24,996 cosy. 256 00:13:25,047 --> 00:13:27,356 I wasn't dropping hints, you know. 257 00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:31,685 I've tried domesticity twice. It's not all it's cracked up to be. 258 00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:34,525 Besides, if I was really after you, 259 00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:37,718 I'd be a lot more subtle about it than that. 260 00:13:37,767 --> 00:13:42,238 You see, my trouble is, Judy, that I'm not sure that I'm after you. 261 00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:45,282 Oh. 262 00:13:45,327 --> 00:13:47,318 Or not. 263 00:13:48,367 --> 00:13:50,119 Oh. 264 00:13:52,367 --> 00:13:54,358 Gone very quiet, hasn't it? 265 00:13:54,407 --> 00:13:56,716 - Yes, it has a bit. - (Phone rings) 266 00:14:02,207 --> 00:14:03,606 Hello. 267 00:14:03,647 --> 00:14:05,638 Mum, how are you? 268 00:14:05,687 --> 00:14:07,439 What? 269 00:14:09,287 --> 00:14:14,042 You're phoning because Lionel's in the shower? Why? Has he got stuck in there or something? 270 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,078 I don't want him to hear me. 271 00:14:16,127 --> 00:14:19,039 Look, love, is Alistair with you? 272 00:14:19,087 --> 00:14:22,443 - Why? Should he be? - A shot in the dark. 273 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:25,763 Well, he is as a matter of fact. 274 00:14:25,807 --> 00:14:28,799 We were just having coffee. Yes, we were. 275 00:14:28,847 --> 00:14:31,725 I didn't say anything. Could I have a word with him? 276 00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:33,758 Of course. It's Mum for you. 277 00:14:36,047 --> 00:14:38,481 Hi, lovely lady. How's sunny Cal? 278 00:14:38,527 --> 00:14:41,963 - Alistair. It's a nightmare. - What? All of it? 279 00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:43,998 Well, no, mostly Lionel. 280 00:14:44,047 --> 00:14:48,916 He and Cy are from different galaxies. And now Cy's bringing in some other people. 281 00:14:48,967 --> 00:14:52,880 Only three, but it could be hundreds and Lionel's turning defensive. 282 00:14:52,927 --> 00:14:56,283 - Downright rude, you mean? - Well, pretty close. 283 00:14:56,327 --> 00:15:00,923 And I'm not helping. I'm trying to compensate and coming over as whingeing apologist. 284 00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:02,958 I thought you'd be the dream team. 285 00:15:03,007 --> 00:15:05,726 It's a nightmare. We need backup. 286 00:15:05,767 --> 00:15:07,246 We need you. 287 00:15:07,287 --> 00:15:09,278 Mm. Hold the fort. 288 00:15:09,327 --> 00:15:11,966 (American accent) The cavalry is on its way. 289 00:15:12,007 --> 00:15:14,521 Tell Judy to give you a big kiss from me. 290 00:15:14,567 --> 00:15:17,206 I will, I will. Catch you later. 291 00:15:17,247 --> 00:15:18,646 Thank you, Alistair. 292 00:15:18,687 --> 00:15:22,646 Before you go, the lady I get my reward from wants a quick word. 293 00:15:22,687 --> 00:15:23,915 What reward? 294 00:15:24,727 --> 00:15:26,718 What reward? 295 00:15:26,767 --> 00:15:31,887 (Laughs) I see. Look, don't worry, Mum, Alistair will sort everything out. 296 00:15:31,927 --> 00:15:33,918 Yes. Love to Lionel. 297 00:15:35,287 --> 00:15:37,278 Tell Alistair what? 298 00:15:38,567 --> 00:15:40,444 Right. Bye. 299 00:15:40,487 --> 00:15:41,920 Take care. 300 00:15:42,967 --> 00:15:44,559 What are you smiling for? 301 00:15:44,607 --> 00:15:50,682 Mum said that should you need a robe, there's one of Lionel's hanging on their bedroom door. 302 00:15:59,687 --> 00:16:01,678 Who were you talking to? 303 00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,718 - When? - Just now. 304 00:16:05,127 --> 00:16:06,526 Oh, I was on the phone. 305 00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:09,764 You didn't ring Cy to tell him how funny his joke was, did you? 306 00:16:09,807 --> 00:16:12,037 (Laughs) How did you know? 307 00:16:12,087 --> 00:16:14,237 Who did you ring, then? 308 00:16:15,367 --> 00:16:21,203 Er, room service. Yes, I er... I've ordered lunch. Well, I thought we could eat it out there. 309 00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:23,238 Oh, I see. Good idea. 310 00:16:23,287 --> 00:16:27,997 Well, I'll say this for American service, it is quick. Probably be here in about ten minutes. 311 00:16:28,047 --> 00:16:30,038 Yes. 312 00:16:30,087 --> 00:16:32,078 What did you order? 313 00:16:32,127 --> 00:16:33,924 It's a surprise. 314 00:16:33,967 --> 00:16:35,082 Oh. 315 00:16:36,087 --> 00:16:37,998 I shall look forward to it, then. 316 00:16:38,047 --> 00:16:40,038 - Oh, good. - (They laugh) 317 00:16:43,527 --> 00:16:47,520 - I think I'll have a quick shower before lunch. - You'd better hurry up. 318 00:16:47,567 --> 00:16:48,886 Yes. 319 00:17:03,887 --> 00:17:05,878 Hello, room service? 320 00:17:05,927 --> 00:17:09,442 I would like to order lunch. A very quick lunch. 321 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:11,478 Yes. Um... 322 00:17:11,527 --> 00:17:13,518 We'd like er... 323 00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:15,239 We... 324 00:17:15,287 --> 00:17:17,676 Oh. I'll have to call you back. 325 00:17:26,527 --> 00:17:28,836 - I forgot something. - Oh. 326 00:17:28,887 --> 00:17:31,924 - What did you forget? - I've just remembered it's in here. 327 00:17:38,207 --> 00:17:41,085 Room service? Yes, it's me again. (Coughs) 328 00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:45,359 Yes, the me being Jean Pargetter in room 2305. 329 00:17:45,407 --> 00:17:47,159 And this is me in the other room. 330 00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:56,801 You didn't have to let me go through that charade. 331 00:17:56,847 --> 00:17:58,838 You didn't have to play it. 332 00:17:58,887 --> 00:18:02,926 Why not just tell me that you phoned Alistair in the first place? 333 00:18:02,967 --> 00:18:04,958 Well, I just didn't want... 334 00:18:05,007 --> 00:18:09,000 - How did you know I'd phoned Alistair? - Simple deduction. 335 00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:12,676 My first skirmish with Cy wasn't the most auspicious of starts, was it? 336 00:18:12,727 --> 00:18:16,163 So what would you do but rub the lamp and summon the genie Alistair? 337 00:18:16,207 --> 00:18:18,960 - If you're going to get... - No, it's a very good idea. 338 00:18:19,007 --> 00:18:22,238 - What? - Let's face it, I need all the help I can get. 339 00:18:22,287 --> 00:18:24,960 I only understand about one word in five Cy utters. 340 00:18:25,007 --> 00:18:27,726 I can understand two, or even three, of Alistair's. 341 00:18:27,767 --> 00:18:32,841 I'm sorry. I wouldn't have gone behind your back if I'd thought you'd agree. 342 00:18:32,887 --> 00:18:35,879 I see. No, I don't, but it doesn't matter. 343 00:18:35,927 --> 00:18:39,158 - We'll do a better show in the second innings. - We have to. 344 00:18:39,207 --> 00:18:41,198 Now, what about this lunch? 345 00:18:41,247 --> 00:18:43,886 Let's phone room service. 346 00:18:43,927 --> 00:18:45,804 Well... 347 00:18:45,847 --> 00:18:50,045 Oh, hello. Room service? This is the English eccentrics in suite 2305. 348 00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,078 We'd like to order some lunch. 349 00:18:54,607 --> 00:18:58,520 - Alistair's not going to make it on time. - I've been trying to work that out. 350 00:18:58,567 --> 00:19:02,606 If he flew Concorde this morning, he'd arrive in New York an hour before he left. 351 00:19:02,647 --> 00:19:05,764 Which only leaves 3,000 miles between New York and here. 352 00:19:05,807 --> 00:19:08,605 What's the time difference between the coasts? 353 00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:11,286 Well, if the sun... Oh, goodness knows. 354 00:19:13,167 --> 00:19:15,556 One decaf and one blueberry muffin. 355 00:19:15,607 --> 00:19:18,360 - I don't think we ordered that. - No, your friend did. 356 00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:21,479 - No, I didn't. - Not you, sir. Your other friend. 357 00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:23,995 This friend! Hi, lovely lady. Hi, Li. 358 00:19:24,047 --> 00:19:27,403 - Alistair, I could almost love you at times. - Oh, woof! 359 00:19:27,447 --> 00:19:30,519 I wouldn't go that far, but I am pleased to see you. 360 00:19:30,567 --> 00:19:33,320 Which tab does the decaf and the muffin go on? 361 00:19:33,367 --> 00:19:37,406 Oh, mine, and the coffees as well. Suite 2830. 362 00:19:38,487 --> 00:19:42,275 Thank you, Mary Beth. You did say your name was Mary Beth? 363 00:19:42,327 --> 00:19:45,046 - Yes, I did. - What a pretty name. 364 00:19:45,087 --> 00:19:47,078 Thank you. 365 00:19:47,127 --> 00:19:51,518 - You have a nice day. - Hey. And you have a nice day too. 366 00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:57,241 - When you've finished, Alistair. - Ah, sorry. 367 00:19:57,287 --> 00:20:00,484 - How did you get here? - We got as far as Concorde to New York. 368 00:20:00,527 --> 00:20:04,315 No, no, Li. Concorde to Barbados. I have a mate there with a private jet. 369 00:20:04,367 --> 00:20:09,395 Hopped over to Florida, called Cy to say hi, then on American to LAX, chopper from there. 370 00:20:09,447 --> 00:20:11,005 The obvious way to come. 371 00:20:11,047 --> 00:20:16,041 Hey, we'd better roll. I'll fill you in in the limo, but here's the big play. Agree. 372 00:20:16,087 --> 00:20:17,964 Agree? 373 00:20:18,007 --> 00:20:19,884 Well, it isn't a dirty word, Lionel. 374 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:24,045 You see, Li, they may throw us a few curves before we get where we're going, 375 00:20:24,087 --> 00:20:28,000 but when they do, bite the bullet, think of the money and agree. 376 00:20:28,047 --> 00:20:30,197 All right, I'll do my best. 377 00:20:30,247 --> 00:20:34,684 Perhaps we could buy a bullet for him to bite on on the way. 378 00:20:34,727 --> 00:20:36,718 Everybody comfortable? 379 00:20:36,767 --> 00:20:37,802 OK. 380 00:20:37,847 --> 00:20:42,716 First, let me say how thrilled I am that Alistair is able to sit in with us. 381 00:20:42,767 --> 00:20:44,837 Also Josh and Lisa. 382 00:20:44,887 --> 00:20:46,957 And of course, Stefan. 383 00:20:48,327 --> 00:20:53,526 Let me also say, Jean and Lionel, that what we have here, your great love story, is a project 384 00:20:53,567 --> 00:20:57,560 we all think can ultimately be developed into a... a... 385 00:20:57,607 --> 00:20:59,677 - Stunning. ...stunning miniseries. 386 00:20:59,727 --> 00:21:00,955 - Oh, good. - Good. 387 00:21:01,007 --> 00:21:02,838 We are very excited, Cy. 388 00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:05,355 Now, as I said, we love this. 389 00:21:05,407 --> 00:21:10,686 But first, let Josh and Lisa tell you of a very few minor alterations to the story 390 00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:14,686 you might like to take on board. Josh, Lisa. 391 00:21:15,527 --> 00:21:19,884 Now, we'll call the lead characters Lionel and Jean for the moment. 392 00:21:19,927 --> 00:21:21,804 For the purposes of simplification. 393 00:21:22,567 --> 00:21:28,915 Now, Lionel is a young British officer and Jean is a young British nurse. 394 00:21:28,967 --> 00:21:32,323 - We were. - Oh, right, but here's the first curve. 395 00:21:32,367 --> 00:21:34,437 You don't meet in London at all. 396 00:21:34,487 --> 00:21:38,082 You meet in Korea when Lionel is shot in the head. 397 00:21:38,127 --> 00:21:42,166 - Not fatally, you understand. - Or we don't have a story. 398 00:21:42,207 --> 00:21:43,879 Quite. 399 00:21:43,927 --> 00:21:49,160 No. The bullet just grazes his temple, but causes a complete memory loss. 400 00:21:49,207 --> 00:21:51,880 It is now that he meets Jean. 401 00:21:51,927 --> 00:21:54,805 Whom he doesn't know because they've never met. 402 00:21:54,847 --> 00:21:56,917 - Oh, am I in Korea? - (Lisa) Of course. 403 00:21:56,967 --> 00:21:59,242 - As a nurse. - Of course. 404 00:21:59,287 --> 00:22:04,964 So it's Jean who nurses him, Jean he falls in love with when they return to England, 405 00:22:05,007 --> 00:22:06,599 and Jean he marries. 406 00:22:07,847 --> 00:22:11,362 But then Lionel is involved in a shooting accident. 407 00:22:11,407 --> 00:22:13,796 - Maybe grouse shooting, uh? - Ooh. 408 00:22:13,847 --> 00:22:17,760 - We haven't firmed on that yet. - Either way, he's wounded in the head. 409 00:22:17,807 --> 00:22:19,798 And he regains his memory. 410 00:22:19,847 --> 00:22:21,838 (Lisa) Right! 411 00:22:21,887 --> 00:22:23,878 His memory restored, 412 00:22:23,927 --> 00:22:29,445 Lionel forgets Jean and returns to what he had planned to do after the army. 413 00:22:29,487 --> 00:22:33,116 He goes to Kenya, Africa, to plant coffee. 414 00:22:33,167 --> 00:22:34,759 Do I know where he's gone? 415 00:22:34,807 --> 00:22:41,997 No, but Jean finds out and follows him to Kenya, where she takes a job as his secretary. 416 00:22:42,047 --> 00:22:45,005 Remember, Lionel still doesn't know who she is. 417 00:22:45,047 --> 00:22:46,958 This has me by the throat. 418 00:22:47,007 --> 00:22:49,601 - Me too. - I agree. 419 00:22:52,767 --> 00:22:56,521 - Is there going to be another accident? - You're right. 420 00:22:56,567 --> 00:22:58,717 Jean is bitten by a snake. 421 00:22:58,767 --> 00:23:00,564 A poisonous snake. 422 00:23:00,607 --> 00:23:05,601 The nearest serum is 50 miles away through the bush. Lionel drives off in his jeep. 423 00:23:05,647 --> 00:23:08,559 - And has an accident? - (Lisa) Right again. 424 00:23:08,607 --> 00:23:12,680 Maybe we could roll the jeep, have a head-on collision with a rhinoceros. 425 00:23:12,727 --> 00:23:15,764 (Laughs) Well, we haven't firmed on that yet. 426 00:23:15,807 --> 00:23:18,401 But, and this is the but... 427 00:23:18,447 --> 00:23:21,325 the accident makes Lionel regain his memory. 428 00:23:21,367 --> 00:23:25,280 It makes him remember who he is, makes him remember who Jean is. 429 00:23:25,327 --> 00:23:26,760 Not his secretary. 430 00:23:26,807 --> 00:23:29,605 No. The woman he loves. 431 00:23:29,647 --> 00:23:32,605 The girl he's been married to all this time. 432 00:23:32,647 --> 00:23:34,478 Hurt though he is, 433 00:23:34,527 --> 00:23:36,324 Lionel gets the serum, 434 00:23:36,367 --> 00:23:39,916 gets back to Jean and saves her from death. 435 00:23:40,767 --> 00:23:41,756 End. 436 00:23:44,127 --> 00:23:45,685 Mike? 437 00:23:45,727 --> 00:23:47,285 I have to think about this. 438 00:23:47,327 --> 00:23:49,795 - I think it's brilliant. - So do I. 439 00:23:49,847 --> 00:23:52,156 - Alistair? - Incredible. 440 00:23:52,207 --> 00:23:53,401 Lionel? 441 00:23:56,407 --> 00:23:58,398 I think... 442 00:23:59,607 --> 00:24:02,724 - I think it's very good indeed. - And Jean? 443 00:24:02,767 --> 00:24:07,602 I think it's the biggest load of claptrap I've ever heard in the whole of my life. 444 00:24:08,607 --> 00:24:12,998 It's Random Harvest, a mangled version. It's Ronald Colman and Greer Garson. 445 00:24:13,047 --> 00:24:18,440 Take out the snake and Lionel being shot every five minutes and there's nothing in it. 446 00:24:18,487 --> 00:24:23,242 There's not an original thought in it. There's no truth in it. We were true, we are true! 447 00:24:23,287 --> 00:24:26,802 - That's what we thought you wanted. - That's what I should have said. 448 00:24:26,847 --> 00:24:30,806 - Cy Liebermann. I'm going to kill you! - Harry! 449 00:24:30,847 --> 00:24:32,166 - Who's he? - A writer. 450 00:24:32,207 --> 00:24:34,198 - Listen... - No, you listen. 451 00:24:35,207 --> 00:24:37,562 You cancelled my series, Cy. 452 00:24:37,607 --> 00:24:40,041 You never gave it a chance. 453 00:24:40,087 --> 00:24:43,238 Now you don't get a chance. I'm gonna kill you. 454 00:24:43,287 --> 00:24:45,596 The rest of you, hit the floor now! 455 00:24:46,767 --> 00:24:47,995 Now I said! 456 00:24:48,047 --> 00:24:50,038 No, this is a new dress. 457 00:24:50,087 --> 00:24:55,036 And we were just building up to a damn good row, so just wait your turn. 458 00:24:56,207 --> 00:24:58,198 And in the meantime... 459 00:24:59,247 --> 00:25:01,761 don't be so... 460 00:25:01,807 --> 00:25:03,923 hysterical. 461 00:25:03,967 --> 00:25:06,197 - (Sobs) - (Jean) Oh. 462 00:25:06,247 --> 00:25:08,238 Poor man. 463 00:25:11,487 --> 00:25:13,079 An unusual sort of day. 464 00:25:13,127 --> 00:25:15,687 Yes. I wonder what happened to Harry? 465 00:25:15,727 --> 00:25:18,764 Last time I heard, he was being hospitalised. 466 00:25:18,807 --> 00:25:21,685 Probably in a home for bewildered writers. 467 00:25:21,727 --> 00:25:23,718 Must be jam-packed in there. 468 00:25:24,247 --> 00:25:27,876 Lionel, did you know that gun was only a replica? 469 00:25:27,927 --> 00:25:31,317 No, it was you saying you had a new dress on, it just made me angry. 470 00:25:31,367 --> 00:25:34,677 - I got angry with Josh and Lisa, didn't I? - Somewhat. 471 00:25:34,727 --> 00:25:39,118 Ironic. I get Alistair over here to keep you calm and I'm the one that does her nut. 472 00:25:39,167 --> 00:25:40,885 I thought you did it beautifully. 473 00:25:40,927 --> 00:25:44,920 - (Knock at door) - Probably Josh and Lisa and a machine gun. 474 00:25:46,367 --> 00:25:51,885 Li, you will be the talking point of every eatery in LA this evening. 475 00:25:51,927 --> 00:25:54,600 "Hero Brit saves Cy of CBS." 476 00:25:54,647 --> 00:25:56,444 I was trying to save Jean's dress. 477 00:25:56,487 --> 00:25:59,957 It doesn't read as well. Hello, Alistair, how is everybody? 478 00:26:00,007 --> 00:26:01,679 Stefan is in shock. 479 00:26:01,727 --> 00:26:04,116 Mike is angling for a spot on the evening news, 480 00:26:04,167 --> 00:26:06,283 Cy is watching a rerun of Random Harvest, 481 00:26:06,327 --> 00:26:09,524 Josh and Lisa are with him slipping lower into their seats. 482 00:26:09,567 --> 00:26:11,159 Why are you guys packing? 483 00:26:11,207 --> 00:26:13,277 - We're going. - Before we're deported. 484 00:26:13,327 --> 00:26:15,966 No way, Jose. Li, you have a deal. 485 00:26:16,007 --> 00:26:19,079 - It's pay or play. - You mean if I won't play, they won't pay? 486 00:26:19,127 --> 00:26:23,120 No, no, no. Li, you get to write the first scripts your way. 487 00:26:23,167 --> 00:26:26,603 And you get paid whether they ultimately use them or not. 488 00:26:26,647 --> 00:26:28,046 Er... 489 00:26:28,087 --> 00:26:29,998 I think Lionel is trying to say why? 490 00:26:30,047 --> 00:26:34,643 The dream team. You, Jean, by setting a precedent by actually saying what you think, 491 00:26:34,687 --> 00:26:37,679 and you, Li, by just happening to save Cy's life. 492 00:26:37,727 --> 00:26:41,083 - I told you, I was trying to save... - Jean's dress. Yes, I know. 493 00:26:41,127 --> 00:26:44,085 But Cy doesn't see it that way and who am I to disabuse him? 494 00:26:44,127 --> 00:26:50,282 Lastly and modestly, I happened to drop a hint that NBC are also very hot on the same project. 495 00:26:50,327 --> 00:26:52,318 We won. We actually won. 496 00:26:52,367 --> 00:26:55,598 - Not the war, just the battle. - We'll settle for the battle. 497 00:26:55,647 --> 00:27:00,163 As for fleeing the country, hey, Cy says you stay as long as you like. 498 00:27:00,207 --> 00:27:03,404 - We'll go home tomorrow, then, shall we? - Yes. 499 00:27:03,447 --> 00:27:05,756 - A drizzly day in Holland Park. - What? 500 00:27:05,807 --> 00:27:09,004 - That's Lionel's new book. - Why don't I know about this? 501 00:27:09,047 --> 00:27:12,517 - I don't know about this. She made it up. - Nice title, though. 502 00:27:12,567 --> 00:27:15,161 - Right. Dinner's on me this evening. - Oh. 503 00:27:15,207 --> 00:27:19,325 I know, I know, I know. But I promise, the place is quiet, 504 00:27:19,367 --> 00:27:22,598 the food is good, I can be very discreet by 10:30, 505 00:27:22,647 --> 00:27:26,640 and they speak a language we can all understand. Romanian. 506 00:27:26,687 --> 00:27:28,439 (They laugh) 507 00:27:28,487 --> 00:27:30,762 Catch you later. 508 00:27:31,927 --> 00:27:36,603 - There's got to be a snag in all this. - No. Your Cy's flavour of the month. 509 00:27:36,647 --> 00:27:38,558 Yeah, but it's the 27th. 510 00:27:39,767 --> 00:27:42,361 - Ooh! - I'm sorry, did I hurt you? 511 00:27:42,407 --> 00:27:44,204 I was only mucking about. 512 00:27:44,247 --> 00:27:45,566 - Oooh. - Oh. 513 00:27:45,607 --> 00:27:47,598 Are you all right? 514 00:27:49,927 --> 00:27:52,395 Who are you? 515 00:27:54,127 --> 00:27:56,118 I don't know who you are. 516 00:27:57,967 --> 00:27:59,958 Think of me as Greer Garson. 517 00:28:00,007 --> 00:28:01,998 (They laugh) 518 00:28:08,767 --> 00:28:11,565 # You must remember this 519 00:28:11,607 --> 00:28:13,962 # A kiss is still a kiss 520 00:28:14,007 --> 00:28:17,920 # A sigh is just a sigh 521 00:28:19,607 --> 00:28:23,395 # The fundamental things apply 522 00:28:23,447 --> 00:28:27,360 # As time goes by 523 00:28:30,407 --> 00:28:33,001 # And when two lovers woo 524 00:28:33,047 --> 00:28:35,800 # They still say I love you 525 00:28:35,847 --> 00:28:38,884 # On that you can rely 526 00:28:41,407 --> 00:28:45,480 # The world will always welcome lovers 527 00:28:46,967 --> 00:28:55,159 # As time goes by # 42680

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