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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,527 --> 00:00:12,325 # You must remember this 2 00:00:12,367 --> 00:00:14,961 # A kiss is still a kiss 3 00:00:15,007 --> 00:00:17,805 # A sigh is just a sigh 4 00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:24,162 # The fundamental things apply 5 00:00:24,207 --> 00:00:27,836 # As time goes by # 6 00:00:39,167 --> 00:00:41,442 Oh... wonderful. 7 00:00:41,487 --> 00:00:43,478 - (Groans) - (Doorbell) 8 00:00:49,927 --> 00:00:52,236 - Oh, it's you! - (Laughs) Oh. 9 00:00:52,287 --> 00:00:54,005 I've had more ecstatic welcomes. 10 00:00:54,047 --> 00:00:57,357 I was just surprised. I thought we were having a day off. Come in. 11 00:00:57,407 --> 00:01:00,080 So you now answer the door with a knife in your hand? 12 00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:02,436 - I was just getting a stain out. - With that? 13 00:01:02,487 --> 00:01:05,206 Yeah. It was the stubborn sort. 14 00:01:05,247 --> 00:01:10,367 - Can I get you anything? Some cornflakes? - What makes you think I'd like cornflakes? 15 00:01:10,407 --> 00:01:12,238 - I've just had some. - Oh. 16 00:01:12,287 --> 00:01:14,357 Well, where is this stain? 17 00:01:16,727 --> 00:01:18,399 - There. - That's a hole. 18 00:01:18,447 --> 00:01:20,517 There was a stain. 19 00:01:20,567 --> 00:01:23,525 - Yes, well, it's a hole now. - I know it's a hole! 20 00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:26,320 Huh. I went at it a bit too hard, I suppose. 21 00:01:26,367 --> 00:01:29,837 I expect I'll have to pay when I take it back to the hire people. 22 00:01:29,887 --> 00:01:32,765 Yes. I think they'd have accepted a stain. 23 00:01:32,807 --> 00:01:35,275 I imagine questions will be asked about a hole. 24 00:01:35,327 --> 00:01:36,726 What shall I say? 25 00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:39,998 Well, you can't really claim to have been stabbed, can you? 26 00:01:40,047 --> 00:01:42,641 I'd profess total ignorance and hope for the best. 27 00:01:42,687 --> 00:01:45,963 I don't know why people have to dress up for weddings. 28 00:01:46,007 --> 00:01:49,602 Well, if you hadn't had to dress up, that could have been your own coat. 29 00:01:49,647 --> 00:01:53,196 What do you mean, you thought we were having a day off? 30 00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:57,286 - Well, not seeing each other today. - You make it sound like a public holiday. 31 00:01:57,327 --> 00:02:00,364 - It's just an expression. - A relief of some sort. 32 00:02:00,407 --> 00:02:04,559 - If this is your mood today, it would've been. - Well, I'm sorry. I am a bit edgy. 33 00:02:04,607 --> 00:02:07,360 - I want to ask you something. - Oh, I see. 34 00:02:07,407 --> 00:02:10,683 - Sure you wouldn't like something? - What this time? Porridge? 35 00:02:10,727 --> 00:02:13,560 - Cup of tea? Cup of coffee? - No thanks. 36 00:02:15,047 --> 00:02:17,880 It's quite a nice view if you crane your neck round. 37 00:02:17,927 --> 00:02:19,997 What did you want to ask? 38 00:02:20,047 --> 00:02:24,120 Well, yesterday, when we were coming back from your father's wedding, 39 00:02:24,167 --> 00:02:28,604 - you talked about us living together. - I didn't talk about it. I suggested it. 40 00:02:28,647 --> 00:02:30,399 - Would you like to sit down? - No. 41 00:02:30,447 --> 00:02:32,881 - You've changed your mind? - No, I haven't. 42 00:02:32,927 --> 00:02:36,124 I just wanted to make sure you hadn't. I mean, you had had a few. 43 00:02:36,167 --> 00:02:39,876 Well, I don't make a serious suggestion like that in a drunken stupor. 44 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:43,363 Nobody said a drunken stupor. You couldn't talk at all in a stupor. 45 00:02:43,407 --> 00:02:46,126 - Stop splitting hairs. - You stop exaggerating. 46 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,840 And would you come and sit down, please? 47 00:02:49,887 --> 00:02:51,479 (Sighs) 48 00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,125 Good. 49 00:02:55,167 --> 00:02:57,601 - I know what you're driving at. - Oh? 50 00:02:57,647 --> 00:03:00,639 You're afraid it was the drink talking. Well, it wasn't. 51 00:03:00,687 --> 00:03:04,043 I suggested it was a good idea. I still think it's a good idea. 52 00:03:04,087 --> 00:03:07,204 Now, if you on the other hand are looking for some excuse... 53 00:03:07,247 --> 00:03:10,080 No, no, I'm not. I think it's a good idea too. 54 00:03:10,127 --> 00:03:12,163 Right then. 55 00:03:12,207 --> 00:03:15,358 - I think I'll have a custard tart. - (Laughs) 56 00:03:15,407 --> 00:03:18,479 Is that the equivalent of splitting a bottle of champagne? 57 00:03:18,527 --> 00:03:21,200 Well, it's a bit early for champagne. 58 00:03:21,247 --> 00:03:23,363 Would you like a custard tart? 59 00:03:23,407 --> 00:03:25,045 On the whole, no. 60 00:03:25,087 --> 00:03:27,885 It will seem strange, you living here. 61 00:03:27,927 --> 00:03:29,804 What? 62 00:03:31,487 --> 00:03:33,876 (Mouth full) I said... 63 00:03:33,927 --> 00:03:37,442 - It'll seem strange. - Yes, well, of course it will. 64 00:03:37,487 --> 00:03:41,002 - You won't miss things, will you? - Oh, what's there to miss? 65 00:03:41,047 --> 00:03:44,722 Being alone or finding yourself saying good night to the weatherman? 66 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:49,318 - I do that sometimes. Not to Michael Fish. - Oh, no. Not Michael Fish. 67 00:03:49,367 --> 00:03:52,564 But you can miss thing things though. 68 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:57,078 But you couldn't move everything to one place. There wouldn't be room to move. 69 00:03:57,127 --> 00:03:59,925 Sentimental things. They're what really count. 70 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,923 You're quite right of course. 71 00:04:02,967 --> 00:04:07,279 - Now you're looking sad. - No. I was thinking of the things that won't fit. 72 00:04:07,327 --> 00:04:10,524 Well, just think. If you hadn't been posted to Korea... 73 00:04:10,567 --> 00:04:13,639 - We wouldn't be having this conversation. - I know. 74 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:16,645 - Supposing we'd moved in together then. - Hardly practical. 75 00:04:16,687 --> 00:04:18,917 I was in barracks and you in the nurses' home. 76 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,366 Well, a bit later then. 77 00:04:20,407 --> 00:04:22,682 - What would we have had? - Very little. 78 00:04:22,727 --> 00:04:26,686 Exactly. Just a few sticks of furniture and each other. 79 00:04:26,727 --> 00:04:29,241 - A bed. - Well, of course a bed, but... 80 00:04:29,287 --> 00:04:31,562 The important bit was the each other. 81 00:04:31,607 --> 00:04:35,680 - And I know it sounds silly but it still is. - That doesn't sound silly at all. 82 00:04:35,727 --> 00:04:38,366 - I felt quite a warm glow then. - Good. 83 00:04:39,367 --> 00:04:42,245 - So, what about it? - What about what? 84 00:04:42,287 --> 00:04:46,041 Well, we've done the where, we should discuss the when. 85 00:04:46,087 --> 00:04:47,884 Yes, we should. 86 00:04:47,927 --> 00:04:51,806 - It's not a good time to sell property. - It never is. That could take years. 87 00:04:51,847 --> 00:04:55,556 - And years are what we don't have. - That's a depressing thing to say. 88 00:04:55,607 --> 00:04:59,316 No, what I mean is, that we've made the decision. 89 00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:04,600 Now, don't let's get bogged down with all the details. Let's just... Let's just do it. 90 00:05:04,647 --> 00:05:06,160 Yes, let's. 91 00:05:06,207 --> 00:05:08,118 - When? - Oh... 92 00:05:09,247 --> 00:05:10,999 - Tomorrow. - Tomorrow? 93 00:05:11,047 --> 00:05:15,165 Apart from anything else, if we hang about, we could get cold feet. 94 00:05:15,207 --> 00:05:17,357 - You could. - We could. 95 00:05:17,407 --> 00:05:19,125 Tomorrow. 96 00:05:20,607 --> 00:05:23,440 - Noon. - You make it sound like a western. 97 00:05:23,487 --> 00:05:25,045 (Lionel chuckles) 98 00:05:25,087 --> 00:05:26,600 Right, you're on. 99 00:05:26,647 --> 00:05:28,683 I must get going. There's a lot to do. 100 00:05:28,727 --> 00:05:31,195 - You'll tell Judith. - I won't spring it on her. 101 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:34,523 - I wonder what she'll say. - Well, come with me and tell her. 102 00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:37,400 No, you're right. There are a lot of things to do. 103 00:05:37,447 --> 00:05:39,199 Jams to sort out. 104 00:05:39,567 --> 00:05:43,355 - Did you say jams? - Yeah, well, you like jam and I like jam. 105 00:05:43,407 --> 00:05:49,004 Chances are, if we put all our half-empty jars of jam together, we'd have too much. 106 00:05:49,047 --> 00:05:50,878 Some of it could go mouldy. 107 00:05:52,007 --> 00:05:54,999 Do you know, that would never have occurred to me? 108 00:05:55,047 --> 00:05:57,641 - I've only just thought of it myself! - (Laughs) 109 00:05:57,687 --> 00:06:00,884 - Well, I'll see you tomorrow, then. - Yep. See you tomorrow. 110 00:06:02,767 --> 00:06:04,564 We'll be all right. 111 00:06:04,607 --> 00:06:06,563 Yes, of course we will. Ha! 112 00:06:08,287 --> 00:06:10,881 Don't think too much about the jams. 113 00:06:16,127 --> 00:06:18,516 - Morning, boss. - Morning, Sandy. 114 00:06:18,567 --> 00:06:21,127 Just to let you know, I won't be in the rest of the day. 115 00:06:21,167 --> 00:06:24,045 - Did you come in to say that? - I want a word with Judith. 116 00:06:24,087 --> 00:06:27,204 Why didn't you do that at breakfast? You do live together. 117 00:06:27,247 --> 00:06:29,397 - I didn't know then. - Oh. 118 00:06:29,447 --> 00:06:32,245 Are you going to tell me any more? 119 00:06:35,607 --> 00:06:38,167 Lionel and I are going to live together. 120 00:06:38,207 --> 00:06:41,404 Good. And about time too, some would say. 121 00:06:41,447 --> 00:06:44,359 - Well, I would. - You don't think it's silly, at our age? 122 00:06:44,407 --> 00:06:46,398 - No. - Oh. 123 00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:48,403 - (Phone rings) - Why are you smiling? 124 00:06:48,447 --> 00:06:50,483 - It's your face. - Sandy! 125 00:06:50,527 --> 00:06:53,246 No, I mean... You look so young. 126 00:06:53,287 --> 00:06:54,606 - Oh. - Yes. 127 00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:57,719 - I mean, here you are, a woman of... - Mature years. 128 00:06:57,767 --> 00:07:02,204 ...mature years. And you look like a young girl about to move in with her first boyfriend. 129 00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:04,442 Well, he was my first boyfriend. 130 00:07:04,487 --> 00:07:08,639 Not that I've ever lived with him. I've only lived with one man. I was married to him. 131 00:07:08,687 --> 00:07:10,325 Huh. Quaint, aren't I? 132 00:07:10,367 --> 00:07:14,565 - I think you're a bit scared. - Well, all this wisdom coming with age. 133 00:07:14,607 --> 00:07:17,201 - Load of rubbish. I get sillier. - (Phone rings) 134 00:07:17,247 --> 00:07:18,919 - I must tell Judith. - Good... 135 00:07:18,967 --> 00:07:20,764 Absolutely. 136 00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,843 No, 10:30 will be fine. 137 00:07:24,047 --> 00:07:27,084 No, it's no trouble at all to come to you. 138 00:07:27,127 --> 00:07:30,085 Yes, I shall look forward to seeing you too. 139 00:07:30,127 --> 00:07:31,526 Bye-bye. 140 00:07:32,567 --> 00:07:34,478 - Ergh! - Friend of yours? 141 00:07:34,527 --> 00:07:38,122 Mr Davidson. The phantom groper of Greek Street. 142 00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:40,044 Dirty Dudley Davidson. 143 00:07:40,087 --> 00:07:42,521 - Why are you meeting him? - Self-sacrifice. 144 00:07:42,567 --> 00:07:46,162 - He's offering us work. - Be careful with what else he's offering. 145 00:07:46,207 --> 00:07:49,756 - I must go. - Judy, I want to tell you something. 146 00:07:49,807 --> 00:07:52,082 - Tell me later. - No, no, I want to say it now. 147 00:07:52,127 --> 00:07:55,802 - Well, go on, then. - Lionel and I are going to live together. 148 00:07:55,847 --> 00:07:57,599 Oh. Right. 149 00:07:57,647 --> 00:08:00,684 - On a permanent basis. - Right. 150 00:08:00,727 --> 00:08:02,240 I'll see you, Mum. 151 00:08:08,647 --> 00:08:12,686 - Could you sign these before you go? - I told her. She said, "Oh. Right." 152 00:08:12,727 --> 00:08:13,955 That's all she said. 153 00:08:14,007 --> 00:08:17,761 - What does it mean? - Well, I think it means, "Oh. Right." 154 00:08:17,807 --> 00:08:20,162 - You make it sound really simple. - Oh! 155 00:08:20,207 --> 00:08:22,357 - Where are you going? - To get you a cab. 156 00:08:22,407 --> 00:08:25,524 The sooner you're out of here, the better. 157 00:08:25,567 --> 00:08:27,046 Oh. 158 00:08:29,687 --> 00:08:32,645 End Of An Innings by Denis Compton. Huh! 159 00:08:32,687 --> 00:08:35,645 - Well, I'm certainly not gonna let you go. - (Doorbell) 160 00:08:35,687 --> 00:08:37,484 Oh. 161 00:08:44,207 --> 00:08:46,562 - Hi, Li. - Hello, Alistair. 162 00:08:46,607 --> 00:08:48,199 Come in. 163 00:08:48,247 --> 00:08:51,239 Can't stop. I'm on my way to have lunch in Amsterdam. 164 00:08:51,287 --> 00:08:53,801 - Amsterdam? - Great eels in Amsterdam. 165 00:08:53,847 --> 00:08:56,361 - Oh. Reason enough. - Absolutely. 166 00:08:56,407 --> 00:09:00,525 Which is a left-field way of saying I've got some good news about your book. 167 00:09:00,567 --> 00:09:03,161 - Have we sold another copy? - (Laughs) 168 00:09:03,207 --> 00:09:07,086 Show some faith, Li. You are being published in Holland! 169 00:09:07,127 --> 00:09:09,561 - Hence the eels. - Right. 170 00:09:09,607 --> 00:09:11,518 Think of it as a sort of beach head. 171 00:09:11,567 --> 00:09:15,526 Soon we could be marching into Belgium, Scandinavia, Germany... 172 00:09:15,567 --> 00:09:19,242 - Well, thanks anyway, Alistair. - My plesh completely. 173 00:09:19,287 --> 00:09:22,563 - Having a bit of a clear-out? - No, I'm making some space. 174 00:09:22,607 --> 00:09:24,438 Jean's moving in tomorrow. 175 00:09:24,487 --> 00:09:26,876 - Hey, hey. - Yes. Hey, hey. 176 00:09:26,927 --> 00:09:29,725 - Well, well! - Could we dispense with all that, please? 177 00:09:29,767 --> 00:09:31,678 Sorry, sorry. 178 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,802 She's, er... She's moving in here? 179 00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:38,047 Yes. Why the tone of voice? 180 00:09:38,087 --> 00:09:42,763 Well, I just thought that you'd be moving in with her. I mean, that is a really nice pad. 181 00:09:42,807 --> 00:09:46,800 - What's wrong with this, then? - Nothing. Nothing. It's, er... 182 00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:48,963 - It's... - Mm? Mm? 183 00:09:49,007 --> 00:09:51,805 Spartan. It's a bit spartan. 184 00:09:51,847 --> 00:09:56,523 - I'm not a frilly sort of person. - I'm not talking frilly, Li. I'm talking... homey. 185 00:09:58,607 --> 00:10:02,043 - Haven't you got a plane to catch? - No offence intended, mate. 186 00:10:02,087 --> 00:10:04,920 It could just do with softening up a bit. 187 00:10:04,967 --> 00:10:09,483 - Jean won't want to move into a tart's boudoir. - Did I say that? Did I? 188 00:10:10,847 --> 00:10:13,281 I'll buy some cushions or something. 189 00:10:13,967 --> 00:10:16,640 Look, I've got a mate in interior design. 190 00:10:16,687 --> 00:10:20,441 He's Hungarian. A couple of days, you wouldn't recognise the place. 191 00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:22,762 - Call me old-fashioned... - Have I ever? 192 00:10:22,807 --> 00:10:25,196 Yes. But I want to recognise the place. 193 00:10:25,247 --> 00:10:29,479 If it was as big a dump as you imply, Jean wouldn't be moving in, would she? 194 00:10:29,527 --> 00:10:32,997 Game, set and match, mate. And I never said it was a dump. 195 00:10:33,047 --> 00:10:36,835 Anyway, she'll make a difference. She'll soften it up. 196 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,445 - Will she? - Women do. 197 00:10:38,487 --> 00:10:40,557 My wife didn't. In Kenya, I meant. 198 00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,598 Well, most women. 199 00:10:42,647 --> 00:10:46,242 Anyway, I could not be more knocked out at your news. 200 00:10:46,287 --> 00:10:49,120 You and Jean are a dream team. 201 00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:51,601 - A dream team? - But... 202 00:10:51,647 --> 00:10:53,763 A team. An item. Hm? 203 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:55,959 - You should have a bash. - A what? 204 00:10:56,007 --> 00:10:59,044 A bash. A party. A "Hey, here we are party." 205 00:10:59,087 --> 00:11:00,884 I think we should have 206 00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:04,636 a "Let's see if we can live together without driving each other mad" party first. 207 00:11:04,687 --> 00:11:07,997 - You're a cautious guy, Li. - Don't let your eels get cold. 208 00:11:08,047 --> 00:11:12,325 Right. Are you sure you wouldn't like Zoltan to give you a ring? 209 00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,642 - Zoltan? - My Hungarian. 210 00:11:15,727 --> 00:11:17,763 Thanks all the same. Hm. 211 00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,763 - Goodbye, Alistair. - Cheers, Li. 212 00:11:29,087 --> 00:11:30,759 - (Judith) Hi, Mum. - I'm up here. 213 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,726 Oh. 214 00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:40,196 - What are you doing? - I'm making some wardrobe space for Lionel. 215 00:11:40,247 --> 00:11:41,919 Oh, right. 216 00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:44,003 - You said it again. - Did I? 217 00:11:44,687 --> 00:11:47,759 - You're not throwing this out? - Yes, I am. 218 00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:50,640 I must have been drunk or conceited when I bought that. 219 00:11:50,687 --> 00:11:54,521 - Can I have this? This is back. - Oh, where from? The dead? 220 00:11:54,567 --> 00:12:00,085 - Oh! You're not throwing this out? - Well, I'm most certainly not going to wear it. 221 00:12:00,127 --> 00:12:02,800 - It's so tiny. - Yes. 222 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:06,601 I only kept it for sentimental reasons. It was your father's favourite. 223 00:12:06,647 --> 00:12:08,922 - You hussy. - Yes. 224 00:12:08,967 --> 00:12:11,322 - It did make my legs ache. - Why? 225 00:12:11,367 --> 00:12:13,642 Couldn't sit down. 226 00:12:13,687 --> 00:12:17,043 - I bet everything here tells a story. - Yes. 227 00:12:17,087 --> 00:12:21,046 But before we go down memory lane, Judy, I want to talk to you. 228 00:12:23,647 --> 00:12:27,925 - Well, go on, then. - This "Oh, right" business. 229 00:12:27,967 --> 00:12:30,686 - What about it? - Well... that's all you said 230 00:12:30,727 --> 00:12:34,686 when I told you Lionel and I were going to live together. I'm worrying about it. 231 00:12:34,727 --> 00:12:37,082 - Well, what on earth for? - Well... 232 00:12:37,127 --> 00:12:40,085 It's what you say when I tell you there are pork chops for dinner. 233 00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:43,483 No, it isn't. I don't like pork chops. 234 00:12:43,527 --> 00:12:45,722 Well, lamb chops, then. I mean... 235 00:12:45,767 --> 00:12:49,282 - It's doesn't convey an opinion. - Yes, it does. 236 00:12:49,327 --> 00:12:52,319 I means fine. It means I'm pleased, I'm glad. 237 00:12:53,247 --> 00:12:55,761 - Oh, are you really? - Yes, of course I am. 238 00:12:55,807 --> 00:12:59,356 It's been a long since you've had anything in your life except work. 239 00:12:59,407 --> 00:13:01,921 - Well, I've had you. - Oh, yeah. 240 00:13:01,967 --> 00:13:05,004 35, two divorces and still not a clue. 241 00:13:05,047 --> 00:13:08,164 - Hm. - Anyway, now things are looking up. 242 00:13:08,207 --> 00:13:11,199 - You are going to live in sin. - Mm. 243 00:13:12,687 --> 00:13:15,679 You'll have to stop wandering round with no clothes on. 244 00:13:15,727 --> 00:13:18,321 - Is that all that's worrying you? - Of course not. 245 00:13:18,367 --> 00:13:22,838 - Things are likely to change with Lionel here. - That's a bit like stating the obvious. 246 00:13:22,887 --> 00:13:27,563 Yes, but I don't want you to feel... well, put out. 247 00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:31,486 Well, I shan't. Not unless you kick me out on the streets. 248 00:13:31,527 --> 00:13:33,836 - Do you fancy a cup of tea? - Oh, yes, please. 249 00:13:33,887 --> 00:13:36,117 - (Doorbell) - Oh! That'll be it. 250 00:13:36,727 --> 00:13:38,524 That'll be what? 251 00:13:39,127 --> 00:13:40,924 That'll be what? 252 00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:47,002 - Miss Pargetetter? - No, it's Pargetter. Not Pargetetter. 253 00:13:47,887 --> 00:13:49,684 (Sarcastically) Oh, sorry. 254 00:13:49,727 --> 00:13:51,604 Got your delivery here for you. 255 00:13:52,367 --> 00:13:55,040 I'll have to get this out first. 256 00:14:04,487 --> 00:14:08,082 - I'm not having that in the house. - It's all right, Mum. 257 00:14:08,127 --> 00:14:10,163 This isn't it. 258 00:14:12,087 --> 00:14:14,237 That's it. 259 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:17,199 - Why? - Well, for Lionel. 260 00:14:17,847 --> 00:14:20,407 Could you bring it in, please? 261 00:14:22,527 --> 00:14:25,724 Oh, dear. You will keep your eye on that for me, won't you? 262 00:14:25,767 --> 00:14:27,723 You know what people are. 263 00:14:32,047 --> 00:14:34,083 Oh. Judy! 264 00:14:34,127 --> 00:14:37,199 It's all right, Mum. You don't have to talk to it. 265 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,958 Poor thing. 266 00:14:46,847 --> 00:14:48,838 I didn't shoot it. 267 00:14:49,807 --> 00:14:51,604 Died at a good age. 268 00:14:53,847 --> 00:14:55,997 - (Door closes) - (Jean) Oh. 269 00:14:56,047 --> 00:14:58,436 I felt an utter fool out there. 270 00:14:58,487 --> 00:15:01,001 It's nice, isn't it? It's for Lionel. 271 00:15:01,047 --> 00:15:02,685 Yes, you said that. Why? 272 00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:05,764 Well, he's not bringing any furniture with him. Is he? 273 00:15:05,807 --> 00:15:09,083 - God, I hope not! - Well, I bought him this. 274 00:15:09,127 --> 00:15:11,925 - It's to sit on. - Yes, I know what it's for. 275 00:15:11,967 --> 00:15:14,879 - I still don't understand why. - Because of us. 276 00:15:14,927 --> 00:15:17,600 Because everything here is sort of feminine. 277 00:15:17,647 --> 00:15:19,080 Oh. 278 00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:22,164 Perhaps you should have bought the zebra's head as well. 279 00:15:22,207 --> 00:15:24,084 I just want him to feel at home. 280 00:15:24,127 --> 00:15:27,437 Well, I'll buy a few military prints and a gun rack. 281 00:15:27,487 --> 00:15:29,762 You have a soft heart. 282 00:15:29,807 --> 00:15:33,686 Just think, this time tomorrow, Lionel will be sitting in this. 283 00:15:33,727 --> 00:15:35,206 Ah. 284 00:15:35,247 --> 00:15:39,286 Yes, he'll feel a bit odd with it stuck out there, won't he? (Laughs) 285 00:15:39,327 --> 00:15:40,726 (Strains) 286 00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:56,917 (# Vivaldi: Four Seasons on radio) 287 00:16:01,607 --> 00:16:03,120 Oh! 288 00:16:05,087 --> 00:16:07,237 (Man) With the time coming up to 12 o'clock 289 00:16:07,287 --> 00:16:10,962 we go over to the newsroom for the midday headlines... 290 00:16:11,007 --> 00:16:12,838 We should be on that. 291 00:16:15,887 --> 00:16:18,355 (Alistair) Anyone home? 292 00:16:18,407 --> 00:16:20,238 Only the office drudge. 293 00:16:20,287 --> 00:16:23,563 If you decided to come and work for me, we could change all that. 294 00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:26,121 - Could we really? - Would I lie? 295 00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:28,965 I see you as a personal assistant. 296 00:16:31,287 --> 00:16:34,006 A very personal assistant. 297 00:16:34,887 --> 00:16:37,003 That isn't why you're here. 298 00:16:37,047 --> 00:16:40,119 - I've come to ask Judy for lunch. - Then why are you chatting me up? 299 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:42,203 Force of habit, I suppose. 300 00:16:43,167 --> 00:16:46,603 I'm serious about the job, though, should you decide to move on. 301 00:16:46,647 --> 00:16:49,081 - She should be back soon. - Mind if I park? 302 00:16:49,127 --> 00:16:52,199 - Help yourself. - Ooh-ooh-ooh! 303 00:16:52,247 --> 00:16:55,557 - Now what? - I love the way you eat. 304 00:16:55,607 --> 00:16:57,962 It's nothing. I picked it up when I was a baby. 305 00:16:58,007 --> 00:16:59,645 Ah! 306 00:16:59,687 --> 00:17:03,680 If I have to listen to one more taxi driver's... 307 00:17:03,727 --> 00:17:05,797 Oh. Hello, Alistair. 308 00:17:05,847 --> 00:17:07,758 Hi. I've come to take you to lunch. 309 00:17:07,807 --> 00:17:09,877 Well, aren't I the lucky little thing. 310 00:17:09,927 --> 00:17:12,077 Do I catch a whiff of asperity? 311 00:17:12,127 --> 00:17:14,880 There was talk of us going out to dinner last night. 312 00:17:14,927 --> 00:17:18,966 Ah. Yeah, I'm sorry. I got stuck in Amsterdam. You know. (Scoffs) 313 00:17:19,007 --> 00:17:20,565 Hm. 314 00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:24,566 - Well, just give me a minute, then. - It's like taking sweets from a baby. 315 00:17:24,607 --> 00:17:26,518 Yes, all right, Sandy. 316 00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:29,240 - So how's the lovely Jean? - Spoken for. 317 00:17:29,287 --> 00:17:31,881 Give me a break. It was a serious enquiry. 318 00:17:31,927 --> 00:17:34,361 - This is a big day for her. - And Lionel. 319 00:17:34,407 --> 00:17:35,522 Both of them then. 320 00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:39,355 Mum was twitching about all over the place when I left this morning. 321 00:17:39,407 --> 00:17:42,080 - What time's she going? - Going where? 322 00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:44,561 - Round to Lionel's. - No, she wasn't. 323 00:17:44,607 --> 00:17:47,167 - (Phone rings) - Lionel's moving in with us. 324 00:17:47,207 --> 00:17:49,243 - (Sandy) Type For You. - That's strange because... 325 00:17:49,287 --> 00:17:53,883 I was chatting to old Li yesterday and he said that Jean was moving in with him. 326 00:17:53,927 --> 00:17:56,236 Well, you must have got that wrong. 327 00:17:56,287 --> 00:17:58,960 - I don't think so. - But that's absurd. 328 00:17:59,007 --> 00:18:00,998 They can't each think that... 329 00:18:01,887 --> 00:18:04,879 - Can they? - (Groans) Bang goes lunch. 330 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,397 (Engaged signal) 331 00:18:30,487 --> 00:18:33,797 Look, why are we going to see Lionel and not Jean? 332 00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:37,078 Because it's a total mix-up and he's obviously responsible. 333 00:18:37,127 --> 00:18:39,004 - Why not Jean? - Because she isn't. 334 00:18:39,047 --> 00:18:42,596 - That's the sum total of your argument? - She's my mother. 335 00:18:42,647 --> 00:18:44,842 Oh, well, yes. That's that, then. 336 00:18:44,887 --> 00:18:46,878 Here we are. 337 00:18:52,367 --> 00:18:56,121 - You find somewhere to park. I'll go on up. - No, this will be fine. 338 00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:58,522 - You're on a yellow line. - No probs. 339 00:19:08,807 --> 00:19:10,843 (Sighs) 340 00:19:37,287 --> 00:19:40,199 Perhaps he's lost his nerve. Perhaps he's done a bunk. 341 00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:42,920 Great white hunters do not do bunks. 342 00:19:42,967 --> 00:19:46,277 You're starting to believe your own publicity. He planted coffee. 343 00:19:46,327 --> 00:19:48,716 Well, he wouldn't run away. 344 00:19:48,767 --> 00:19:51,361 Let's try Jean's. Maybe he's there. 345 00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:53,523 Now, that's a bad omen. 346 00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:56,001 Things aren't going right even for you. 347 00:19:56,527 --> 00:19:58,245 Oh! 348 00:19:59,607 --> 00:20:03,566 - Now, look here. - We're not total fools... 349 00:20:03,607 --> 00:20:05,438 Doctor. 350 00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:33,115 - 4.60. - Keep the change. 351 00:20:38,327 --> 00:20:40,477 (Phone rings) 352 00:20:40,527 --> 00:20:42,119 Good afternoon. Type For You. 353 00:20:42,167 --> 00:20:46,001 - (Man) Is Jean Pargetter there? - I'm afraid Miss Pargetter's not here. 354 00:20:46,047 --> 00:20:50,359 - Do you know when she'll be back? - I'm her secretary, can I help? 355 00:20:50,847 --> 00:20:54,203 - I see. Yes. - (Footsteps) 356 00:20:54,247 --> 00:20:57,080 Oh, hold on a minute. Miss Pargetter's just walked in. 357 00:20:57,127 --> 00:20:59,925 It's for you. It's the police. They want to talk to you. 358 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:01,764 That's not funny, Sandy. 359 00:21:01,807 --> 00:21:07,723 I'm not being funny. They want you to vouch for a Mr Lionel Hardcastle. 360 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:12,124 He was found acting in a suspicious manner outside your house. 361 00:21:13,167 --> 00:21:15,476 Hello. Jean Pargetter speaking. 362 00:21:16,447 --> 00:21:18,244 Who? 363 00:21:18,287 --> 00:21:20,039 Lionel who? 364 00:21:21,807 --> 00:21:24,480 No, I'm sorry. I've never heard of him. 365 00:21:25,167 --> 00:21:29,001 - That was mean. - Mean? Mean? I hope he gets life. 366 00:21:29,047 --> 00:21:32,357 Now, hold on a minute. You don't know all the facts. 367 00:21:32,407 --> 00:21:35,877 - Lionel thought you were moving in with him. - Don't be absurd! 368 00:21:35,927 --> 00:21:37,997 I'm not. Judith just rang me. 369 00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:41,323 - He was expecting you. - Then he's unhinged. 370 00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:44,359 - You were expecting him. - That's what we agreed. 371 00:21:44,407 --> 00:21:47,479 - Well, somebody's got it wrong. - Yes, somebody has. 372 00:21:47,527 --> 00:21:50,439 - You can't leave him in prison. - He's not in prison. 373 00:21:50,487 --> 00:21:52,796 - A police station, then. - I'm tempted. 374 00:21:52,847 --> 00:21:55,077 I know you're tempted but you can't. 375 00:21:55,127 --> 00:21:58,961 Whatever was going wrong, at least Lionel was trying to sort it out. 376 00:21:59,007 --> 00:22:01,601 - He did go to look for you. - I went to look for him. 377 00:22:01,647 --> 00:22:05,356 - He wouldn't have known that. - Well, why was he acting suspiciously? 378 00:22:05,407 --> 00:22:08,638 - Was he putting a brick through the window? - That's not likely. 379 00:22:08,687 --> 00:22:11,440 - Where's Judy? - With Alistair, looking for you. 380 00:22:11,487 --> 00:22:14,081 Oh, it's a complete shambles. 381 00:22:14,127 --> 00:22:17,722 Yes, it is, isn't it? You coming back here wasn't very logical. 382 00:22:17,767 --> 00:22:22,158 No, I just thought, "I'll go back to work where it's all safe and sane." 383 00:22:22,207 --> 00:22:24,721 Then I'm on the phone to the police. 384 00:22:25,487 --> 00:22:27,318 Oh. 385 00:22:27,367 --> 00:22:29,358 I'd better go round there, I suppose. 386 00:22:29,407 --> 00:22:31,762 - Well, phone them up. - No. 387 00:22:31,807 --> 00:22:35,720 After what I've said, I'll have to convince them I'm not stark-raving mad 388 00:22:35,767 --> 00:22:37,325 before they'll listen to me. 389 00:22:39,807 --> 00:22:42,446 - Denied any knowledge of me, they said. - I was angry. 390 00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:45,240 - I wasn't in the best of moods myself. - It was your fault. 391 00:22:45,287 --> 00:22:49,439 - Do you always peer in people's windows? - Yes, always. 392 00:22:49,487 --> 00:22:52,240 I usually carry a stepladder with me as well. 393 00:22:54,447 --> 00:22:56,756 - We'll be moved on. - We can't talk here. 394 00:22:56,807 --> 00:22:59,879 - I don't want to talk anywhere. Taxi! - (Engine purring) 395 00:22:59,927 --> 00:23:01,440 Where are you going? 396 00:23:02,927 --> 00:23:04,406 Alaska. 397 00:23:05,407 --> 00:23:08,046 - I'm coming with you. - Oh, no, you're not. 398 00:23:08,087 --> 00:23:10,317 - Oh, yes, I am. - Oh, no, you're not. 399 00:23:10,367 --> 00:23:13,200 - Oh, yes I am! - Are you gonna do anything about this? 400 00:23:13,247 --> 00:23:17,035 Not unless you damage the cab. I never interfere in domestics. 401 00:23:19,087 --> 00:23:20,964 I'm in now, anyway. 402 00:23:23,207 --> 00:23:26,244 I assume I don't take Alaska literally. 403 00:23:31,287 --> 00:23:33,278 You could have injured me. 404 00:23:33,327 --> 00:23:37,798 - I could have you for forcing into my house. - Go ahead. They know me at the station. 405 00:23:37,847 --> 00:23:42,238 How could you possibly ask me to believe that I agreed to come and live with you? 406 00:23:43,247 --> 00:23:47,479 - Let's start again. - I don't think I have the stre... Yes, all right. 407 00:23:47,527 --> 00:23:49,961 - (Sighs) - I said, "Let's live together." 408 00:23:50,007 --> 00:23:52,646 - And you said yes. - Yes. 409 00:23:52,687 --> 00:23:55,838 Then you said, "When?" I said, "Tomorrow" and you made a joke. 410 00:23:55,887 --> 00:23:59,766 - About it sounding like a western. - Because I said noon. Then you said yes. 411 00:23:59,807 --> 00:24:01,160 And that was that. 412 00:24:01,207 --> 00:24:05,325 But you never actually said, "Let us be absolutely clear about this. 413 00:24:05,367 --> 00:24:08,484 "I am talking about you living with me, not the other way round." 414 00:24:08,527 --> 00:24:13,806 Of course I didn't. It sounds more like a legal document than something anyone says. 415 00:24:13,847 --> 00:24:16,600 I do remember asking you if it would feel strange. 416 00:24:16,647 --> 00:24:19,798 I thought strange pertained to me having you in my house. 417 00:24:19,847 --> 00:24:23,635 - And I talked about missing things. - I thought you meant your things. 418 00:24:23,687 --> 00:24:26,076 (Sighs) Well, I don't know. 419 00:24:26,127 --> 00:24:29,676 - It all seemed very obvious to me. - Yes, it was to me. 420 00:24:29,727 --> 00:24:32,287 - Just a different kind of obvious. - Obviously. 421 00:24:32,327 --> 00:24:33,885 (Laughs) 422 00:24:33,927 --> 00:24:36,680 Well, that's cleared that up. 423 00:24:36,727 --> 00:24:38,957 We'll just reset the date. 424 00:24:39,007 --> 00:24:40,201 Yes. 425 00:24:40,247 --> 00:24:42,158 And you move in. 426 00:24:43,087 --> 00:24:44,440 No. 427 00:24:46,327 --> 00:24:48,477 - No? - I don't want to. 428 00:24:48,527 --> 00:24:51,803 If this is some childish reaction to my behaviour in the taxi... 429 00:24:51,847 --> 00:24:54,407 No, it isn't. I want us to live together. 430 00:24:54,447 --> 00:24:56,915 I just want you to move in here. 431 00:24:58,807 --> 00:25:01,002 I think I'd like a drink. 432 00:25:01,047 --> 00:25:03,038 You don't want to, do you? 433 00:25:03,087 --> 00:25:04,520 No. 434 00:25:04,607 --> 00:25:07,201 - I don't. May I? - Yes, help yourself. 435 00:25:07,247 --> 00:25:09,761 It's the wrong way round, you see. 436 00:25:09,807 --> 00:25:14,119 - I'd feel like a kept man. - No one said anything about keeping you. 437 00:25:14,167 --> 00:25:17,284 - It's how I'd feel. - You couldn't afford to keep me. 438 00:25:18,447 --> 00:25:20,961 I'm well aware of that. 439 00:25:21,007 --> 00:25:23,885 In any case, Judith lives here. 440 00:25:23,927 --> 00:25:26,316 Oh, now, for God's sake, she's not a child. 441 00:25:26,367 --> 00:25:28,961 - Exactly. Exactly. - What's that meant to mean? 442 00:25:30,087 --> 00:25:32,920 It would be like living with two women. 443 00:25:32,967 --> 00:25:37,802 Of course it wouldn't be like it. Unless you're taking living with in a sinister way? 444 00:25:37,847 --> 00:25:40,839 Other people might. Anyway, she might resent me. 445 00:25:40,887 --> 00:25:43,355 - She bought that chair. - Is that relevant? 446 00:25:43,447 --> 00:25:47,679 - She bought it for you. - I can't explain it. It just wouldn't feel right. 447 00:25:49,047 --> 00:25:51,436 All right, you don't have to go on about it. 448 00:25:53,367 --> 00:25:55,119 Oh. 449 00:25:55,167 --> 00:25:56,759 She's left a note. 450 00:25:58,887 --> 00:26:02,163 She and Alistair. "We give up. We couldn't find anybody." 451 00:26:03,727 --> 00:26:06,400 Well, I've given my reasons. What about yours? 452 00:26:06,447 --> 00:26:09,120 Well... This is my home. 453 00:26:09,687 --> 00:26:11,757 Your flat's just a place you live in. 454 00:26:12,327 --> 00:26:15,205 I mean, I brought Judith up here. I like it. 455 00:26:15,247 --> 00:26:18,125 You always stay here. 456 00:26:18,167 --> 00:26:20,522 Why would it be so terrible to live here? 457 00:26:20,567 --> 00:26:23,127 It wouldn't be. I like it too. 458 00:26:23,207 --> 00:26:26,244 - Then what's the problem? - It's yours! 459 00:26:28,487 --> 00:26:31,718 Oh, you've retired behind the old male bastions, haven't you? 460 00:26:31,767 --> 00:26:34,122 And you've retired behind... 461 00:26:34,167 --> 00:26:37,239 - Are there such things as female bastions? - (Laughs) 462 00:26:37,327 --> 00:26:39,238 I don't see why not. 463 00:26:39,287 --> 00:26:41,278 Anyway, we both retired. 464 00:26:42,207 --> 00:26:44,721 Leaving some space in between. 465 00:26:44,767 --> 00:26:47,520 - Is that a threat? - No. 466 00:26:47,567 --> 00:26:49,080 It's a fact. 467 00:26:52,087 --> 00:26:55,238 Well, it's been an eventful day. 468 00:26:56,247 --> 00:27:00,479 I think I'll go back to my flat which isn't apparently a home and have beans on toast. 469 00:27:01,207 --> 00:27:03,163 - I shall have a bath. - Right. 470 00:27:04,407 --> 00:27:06,079 Well, I'll see you soon, then. 471 00:27:07,847 --> 00:27:09,485 Yes. 472 00:27:16,087 --> 00:27:18,840 Perhaps we should have a few days off. 473 00:27:18,887 --> 00:27:22,562 - We're back to that again, are we? - Well, we don't seem to get past it. 474 00:27:27,047 --> 00:27:28,844 (Sighs) 475 00:27:35,167 --> 00:27:37,920 (Door opens and closes) 476 00:27:48,567 --> 00:27:51,286 # You must remember this 477 00:27:51,327 --> 00:27:53,887 # A kiss is still a kiss 478 00:27:53,927 --> 00:27:57,317 # A sigh is just a sigh 479 00:27:59,287 --> 00:28:03,041 # The fundamental things apply 480 00:28:03,087 --> 00:28:06,841 # As time goes by 481 00:28:10,207 --> 00:28:12,960 # And when two lovers woo 482 00:28:13,007 --> 00:28:15,840 # They still say I love you 483 00:28:15,887 --> 00:28:18,799 # On that you can rely 484 00:28:21,407 --> 00:28:25,764 # The world will always welcome lovers 485 00:28:27,047 --> 00:28:35,000 # As time goes by # 39611

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