All language subtitles for Tales From The Crypt (1989) S07E12 Ear Today. Gone Tomorrow.en

Look, lady. I'm sorry if the
product made your skin fall off.

But we never do axe-changes
on sale merchandise.

Next.

Some people.

Maybe at Doomingdales
the ghostomer's always fright.

But not here.

Attention all Slay
mart choppers!

Interested in tonight's
boo light special?

It concerns a couple of crooks

who are about to learn the
benefits of dying wholesale.

I call this bit of
gash-and-carry

"Ear Today... Gone Tomorrow."

One minute...

One minute 30...

Two ten... We've got an alarm.

Just a minute.

I'm almost there.

What's the problem?

There's no problem.
I've almost got it.

Two-thirty-five...

Open it.

Yes, just one more minute. Okay?

We haven't got another minute!
The coppers are on their way!

Open it.

You idiot. He's hopeless.

No, no, wait. Let me
start again. Okay?

I got confused.

Time's up, Fennell.
The police are here

and you're dead.

Boom.

Right in the kisser.

Well, I am sorry, Mr. Lawson,

but it looks like this bloke's
been wasting your time.

He ain't a safecracker.

Yes, I believe
you're right, Henry.

We've been duped. It's
a shame, a real shame.

A bleeding shame, sir,
and a busy man like yourself,

you shouldn't have to bother
with the likes of this riff-raff.

It can certainly leave a
nasty taste in one's mouth.

But I'm not going
to give up, yet.

I'm a problem solver.

My bookies are very
worried about you, Glynn.

So much so that they
brought your rather large debt

to my attention this time.

Now, I ask you,

do I look like the type of
man who's built an empire

on flogging drunks and gamblers?

- No. No. No, no, sir.
- That's right.

I'm not. I'm a barterer.

The way I see it, every
man has a skill I can trade for.

In your case, I was told
you have a certain expertise

that could be very useful to me.

One that could help
you pay off your debt.

I know, Mr. Lawson.

It's just that I've run up
against a bit of a losing streak,

again.

But I've got a tip on a horse...

Tips are for
waiters and cabbies.

A betting man should never
accept one. You know that.

Yeah, I know that. But this
one's a beauty. It's a sure thing.

You had a sure
thing, you stupid arse,

and you fucked it up!

All you had to do was to crack
that safe and we were in business.

Malcolm. Still
crying over spilt milk.

I thought we had moved
beyond this obsession of yours.

Glynn Fennell, my wife, Kate.

If she speaks of obsession
with some authority,

it is because she is an expert.

Her beauty is not so much
a tribute to the hand of God

as to the meticulous
craftsmanship

of some of this country's
finest plastic surgeons.

Malcolm, you gave
away my secret. I'm hurt.

Impossible. I thought we paid
to have your feelings removed,

along with certain rather
unsightly wrinkles, of course.

Very funny. Don't let
him fool you, Mr. Fennell.

I'll pay you back,
Mr. Lawson. Every penny.

All I need is one more chance.

And all I needed was a
competent safecracker.

So, it appears that neither of
our needs are going to be fulfilled.

Pity. Great pity.

I had high hopes of you, Glynn.

I was told you used to
be good. One of the best.

Get the car ready
and then cut his throat.

I can't be bothered
with this anymore.

- Right, sir.
- Love the glasses, Henry.

Thank you, ma'am.

As I said to Mr. Lawson,
I appreciate the gift.

- My pleasure.
- No!

Don't go! Please! Please
give me one more chance.

I'll do anything!
Really, I will...

No, I will, I will. I'll do anything.
Please. Please help me.

Really? Anything?
Then tell me a story.

What happened to the
world's greatest safecracker?

Well, I took a beating in prison and
I kind of lost my hearing, you know.

But it's... I
mean it's... But...

It's healed now. But I can't
hear the tumblers no more.

I can't hear anything, you know?

But that's no reason
to kill a man, is it?

It's as good as any.

But then again, why don't
you let him go, Malcolm?

Give him one more chance.

- Why?
- He's cute.

In a pathetic sort of way.

He's business.

And you never mix business
with pleasure, am I right?

That is my rule.

Then how do you explain me?

You, my love, are my
hobby. A very expensive one.

But well worth it.

That man's obsession
with gambling intrigues me.

I bet...

What the devil...

All right, I'll take that bet.

- Car's ready, sir.
- Thank you, Henry.

No! Come on, I
can get the money!

Cut him free.

- Sir?
- I said cut him free.

My wife has bought
Mr. Fennell a short reprieve.

Very good, sir.

Thank you. Thank you so
very much. I won't forget this.

Now, now, don't be so
quick to kneel at her feet.

In my view, she has only
extended your suffering.

But as she wishes
to prove a point,

I've decided to grant her
request to spare your life.

Tomorrow, Mr. Fennell,
I leave for Paris.

If, when I return
in ten days’ time,

I find that your debt
is still outstanding,

I shall kill you without
any further hesitation.

Not even my lovely wife

will be able to save
your skin a second time.

- We understand each other, eh?
- Yes.

Yes. Yes, sir. I
won't let you down.

I know you won't.
I'm betting on it.

- Hello, Glynn.
- Bloody hell!

Meow. Amazing, aren't they?

They're part of a little
surprise I'm planning.

- Are they real?
- Of course.

I came all the way down
here to show them to you.

You came all the way down
here to show me your eyes. Why?

I want you to help me
break into my husband's safe.

Do it and I promise you you'll never
have to worry about money again.

You are crazy, lady.

Am I? In five days,
he's going to kill you.

I'd say you'd be
crazy not to accept.

Let me help you and then
we can help each other.

I've told you before, I
can't hear anything, can I?

I mean, I can't even
hear the tumblers fall.

Yes, but I know a man, a surgeon
who can cure your hearing loss.

He's using new and
radical techniques.

Doing things no
one's even dreamed of.

Help me and you'll be rich.

Decide not to and you're as good
as dead. Either way, it's a sure thing.

- Wait, where's Henry?
- He's gone.

He always travels with Malcolm

when he has monkey
business to attend to.

We're alone.

Trust me.

Come on.

Where are we going?

To the bedroom.

To call the doctor.
Don't be so suspicious.

This is business. I won't bite.

I clearly don't understand
you, Mr. Fennell.

You will bet every pound
you own on a long shot

in hopes of hitting it big. But
you will not take a slight gamble

in following me to
my room. Why is that?

I guess I'm interested
in only one thing, lady.

- The big score.
- Why, me, too, Mr. Fennel.

- Coming?
- Yes.

Now, let's just
hope for your sake,

we're talking about
the same thing.

All taken care of. My
surgeon is expecting you.

That's good. Right. Well, I'll
probably be on my way then.

Is that what you think?

Well... Like...

Like you said,
you know, I mean...

The doctor is...

I am going to fuck you.

That's not funny.

- Does this look like I'm laughing?
- Oh, boy. Oh, please, please.

Please don't do this.

Well, ever since I got these new eyes,
I've been having these strange urges.

I mean, it's not like I even
find you that attractive.

But you'll do.

I think my body's trying
to tell me something.

Yeah, yeah.

I crave sex.

I feel like I'm
on a hot tin roof.

Have you tried catnip?

What kind of crack is that?

It was just a little joke, that's
all. Just a little joke, I mean...

Never mix business
with pleasure, remember?

And who said it's
going to be pleasurable?

You do a lot of these
operations then, Doc?

Not as many as
I'd like to, I'm afraid.

The procedure is fairly new.

Therefore, the operation
is extremely expensive.

But, fortunately for you, you
have a wealthy benefactor.

You can say that again. She's
quite a nice little benefactor, she...

Tricking an individual's immune system
into accepting tissue from another person

is not an easy task.

Introducing tissue

from an entirely different
species is another story altogether.

We're still working
out the bugs.

Bugs? That's not
very encouraging.

Oh, there's nothing
to worry about.

We've been pumping pig insulin
into diabetics for generations.

It was really only
a matter of time

before we made full use of
all their transplantable organs.

We've even used bone marrow
from baboons to fight off retroviruses.

Baboons? Get out.
Don't be ridiculous.

Hey, I am sorry.

I don't understand. Mrs. Lawson said
you wanted to improve your hearing.

Yeah, well...

I do, I know, I do,

but, I mean, I don't want to wake
up and find a couple of chimp's ears

stuck to me head, do I?

You won't.

Primates' auditory abilities are
not that much better than humans.

I want to improve your
hearing ten-fold, Mr. Fennell.

- What? You can do that?
- Absolutely.

How?

By giving you the
auditory system of an owl.

Can you hear me, Glynn?

Wake up, Glynn.

- What happened?
- The operation was a success.

- Operation?
- Yes.

I took advantage of your fainting
spell and put the time to good use.

You're cured.

The headset will help until you
learn to better filter the sound waves.

Now tell me, how do you feel?

Great. I feel absolutely great.

Glad to hear that.

You should stop smoking.
Your heart's racing.

When I want your
opinion, I'll ask for it.

Meanwhile, keep your
ears out of my chest.

We could negotiate a compromise

upstairs.

There's been quite a
change in your personality

ever since your operation.

Maybe you're not such a
miserable specimen after all.

With your confidence
restored, you're almost a man.

It's too bad my husband
comes home tomorrow.

If you had any money, you
might actually be interesting.

Really? Well, in that case,

let's crack a safe.

No. Not there.

- Why? What do you mean?
- That's pocket change.

This is for keeps.

Impress me.

My pleasure.

Well done, Glynn.

You are about to become
a very wealthy bachelor.

Well, madam...

You know what they
say? Age before beauty.

I beg your pardon?

Funny what you find lying around
here given half the chance, isn't it?

I told you I was
gonna take care of you.

There's gonna be more than you
could ever need. Just put that away.

No.

No, that's not good enough.

You don't get me, do you?

I'm a gambler,

and a gambler settles for
nothing less than everything.

I want everything. The
big score, remember?

Glynn, don't be this way. Think
of the night we had together.

I lied. It was great. You
know, that's all I think about.

I warned you, pussy cat.

Smoking kills.

Damn. Malcolm
was right about you.

You'll always be a bad bet.

Oh, dear, that is disgusting.

You know, one thing I
hate worse than smoking

is fur balls.

People have got
some filthy habits.

Damn. I hate it
when that happens.

God, life is a bitch sometimes.

I'll say.

All bloody nine of them.
Or in my case, eight.

Some side effects are
better than others, Glynn.

- Wouldn't you agree?
- Who... Who... To who... To who...

I think you mean
"to whom," Glynn.

To whom.

I still can't believe you're
taking my money, Malcolm.

And I still can't believe you
thought he had any principles.

Good grief, the man's
positively Neanderthal.

The moment he got a
sniff of some easy money,

his instincts took over.

I knew he'd try to shoot
you, first chance he got.

But it's my allowance.

I have to say, I thought
it was a sucker bet...

- What have you done to me?
- Done to you?

My goodness, it's what you've
done for me that's exciting.

Yeah, but what have I
done to deserve this?

You've been the perfect host.

I knew you were a sure thing,
the moment I laid eyes on you.

I explained the whole thing
to you in my office, dear boy.

These experiments
are tricky stuff.

Sometimes we have to move slowly

up the evolutionary
scale to make them stick.

With something as
intricate as a human ear,

you can't just expect to
jump from animals to human.

Sometimes you have to
start somewhere in between.

And that's where boys
like you and Henry come in.

Henry! What? Henry's dead?

Sure. You don't think these
eyes grow on trees, do you?

I let Henry have them for a
while, and then he lost his head,

with the help of the
good doctor here.

Why settle for mere cosmetic
surgery when you can sample

all of Mother Nature?

Being beautiful is one thing,

but in our business,
having a few extra lives

- can come in handy.
- Exactly.

It's these little improvements

that make us
better-equipped to do our work.

- Goodbye, Glynn.
- He's all yours, Doctor.

Poor Glynn!

I hope his Boo
Cross policy's in force.

Sounded to me like he got
in his screamium just in time.

So, how will you
be paying today?

Now, that's a charge card!

English -SDH