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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,916 - Out. - What? 2 00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:33,620 Are you blind? 3 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,391 That ball was on the line, pal! 4 00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,295 Oh, hello, kiddies. 5 00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:42,393 I was just warming up for the Wimbletomb Tennis Tournament. 6 00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:45,633 Normally I love a bit of stiff competition, 7 00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:48,232 but this guy is driving me nuts! 8 00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:50,834 Still, the match isn't over yet. 9 00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:54,211 We're playing beast two out of three. 10 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:59,249 Which brings to mind the man in tonight's tale. 11 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:02,756 He's about to play a little die-breaker of his own 12 00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:06,316 in a sickening hacks-hibition I call 13 00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:08,294 "Kidnapper". 14 00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:50,497 It's funny the effects a baby can have on people. 15 00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:53,301 Not "ha-ha" funny, but funny. 16 00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:55,205 One time the vicar at my church said 17 00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:58,803 that children are God's opinion that the world should go on. 18 00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:00,871 I don't know if I agree with him or not. 19 00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:04,714 I guess, deep down, I always thought he stole that off a T-shirt. 20 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:07,380 Still, it's funny the effects a child can have. 21 00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:13,693 Hello. 22 00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:17,592 Hello, there! 23 00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:30,403 Hello. 24 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,440 Cute. 25 00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:38,515 Is it a boy or a girl? 26 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:40,347 It's a boy. 27 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,379 My girlfriend had a baby last year. 28 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,975 I mean, there are things you never think about 29 00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:54,399 when a baby comes along. 30 00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,266 Until it's too late, that is. 31 00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:59,534 You have to feed them, clothe them and keep them healthy. 32 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,509 Hello, little fellow. 33 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,841 It's a lot of work, and expensive, too. 34 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,174 I mean, you can't believe it. 35 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,114 I'll take him now, thank you. 36 00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:10,946 Back to mummy. 37 00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:13,111 Back to mummy. 38 00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:16,054 Babies can put a real strain on a relationship, 39 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:17,614 even the strongest. 40 00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,887 Believe me, I know firsthand. 41 00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:24,654 My girlfriend and I, we're no different than any other couple. 42 00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:27,826 When I first met her, she was pregnant and homeless. 43 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,062 It was Christmastime 44 00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:31,901 and nobody had come in for days except to use the toilet. 45 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,373 By the way, my name's Danny Skeggs. 46 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,104 Just like it says on my name tag. 47 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,440 Hello. 48 00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:48,146 I'm sorry, the toilets are for employees only. 49 00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,849 I don't want to use your loo, 50 00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:52,188 I just wanted to do a bit business with you. 51 00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:54,888 Oh. Right. Sorry. 52 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,453 Well, let's have a look. 53 00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:02,433 Could you tell me what this is worth? 54 00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:12,340 Family heirloom? 55 00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:14,176 It's my grandmother's. 56 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,889 It's all right. How much? 57 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,087 I'm not sure. 58 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:32,599 I mean, I'll have to look it up. Stay right there. 59 00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:49,643 Miss? 60 00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:53,081 Miss? 61 00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:20,576 - What happened? - I don't know. You passed out. 62 00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:24,379 - Do you want me to call an ambulance? - No. No ambulances. 63 00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:26,283 Are you sure? Perhaps you should see a doctor. 64 00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:30,688 Look, can you just tell me how much for the bracelet? 65 00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:37,820 Well, it's worth about £350, but I can only afford to give you 75. 66 00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:42,763 - You should probably hang on to it. - I can't. I need the money. 67 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,213 But it belonged to your grandmother. 68 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,264 Look, I'll just take the £75, okay? 69 00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:50,675 Sit here. 70 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:53,840 - You all right? - Yeah. 71 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,815 - Yeah? - Yeah, I'm fine. 72 00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:06,682 Sorry. Sorry, people, they don't come back here much. 73 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,160 It's okay. 74 00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:09,628 She's pretty. 75 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,062 Don't. 76 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,192 Look, have you got somewhere to live? 77 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,245 Look, if you're not willing to give me the money... 78 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,549 - You could stay with me. - What? 79 00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:20,434 No. 80 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,468 At least until the baby's born. It's an option. 81 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:31,483 That's very nice of you, but I couldn't. 82 00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:35,454 - I don't even know you. - There's not much to know. 83 00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:38,623 I own this shop. I live alone. 84 00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:43,026 Besides, you could keep your grandmother's bracelet. 85 00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:44,824 And... 86 00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:49,965 And what? 87 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,128 It's Christmas. 88 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,910 No one should be alone at Christmas. 89 00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:02,376 I just wanna help. 90 00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:10,888 Are you lonely, Danny? 91 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,118 Danny... 92 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:17,127 No one calls me that anymore. I like it. 93 00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:22,827 - Yes, I am. - Me, too. 94 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:30,777 Look, Danny, I'm gonna be really honest with you. 95 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:34,246 This baby's father hurt me really badly. 96 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:37,284 And I'm not looking for anyone to replace him. 97 00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:41,582 What I need is a friend. 98 00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:42,654 Right. 99 00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:44,452 I understand. 100 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,685 Friends. 101 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,402 Teresa was wonderful. 102 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:05,377 As the months passed by I realized that for the first time in my life, 103 00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:08,609 I knew what it was like to be in love. 104 00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:11,515 It didn't matter that she was pregnant with another bloke's baby. 105 00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:13,177 Or that we didn't... 106 00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,380 You know. 107 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:15,820 I couldn't have cared less. 108 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,825 All that mattered was her happiness. 109 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,919 And he just went splat. 110 00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:25,624 That never happened. You're making it up. 111 00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:29,567 No one's daft enough to dry a wet hamster in a microwave oven. 112 00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:34,006 It happened to a friend of a sister of one of my customers... 113 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:37,670 - It's true, I swear it. - What do you know? 114 00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:39,673 I know this. 115 00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:42,882 I really like having you here, Teresa. 116 00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:44,542 You can stay here as long as you want. 117 00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:47,212 You and the baby. I mean that. 118 00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,056 I appreciate that. 119 00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:06,463 I love you. 120 00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:16,315 I'll clear the dishes. 121 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:29,291 That look she'd given me clinched it. 122 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:32,662 She was in love with me, too, in a big way. 123 00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:34,496 It didn't matter how we started. 124 00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:37,901 We were together now and everything was perfect. 125 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:41,931 Me, Teresa and the baby. 126 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,444 I thought you said we were going to the cinema tonight. 127 00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:55,922 I can't. Not with his tummy hurting. Why can't you go by yourself? 128 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,983 Because I went by my bloody self last time! 129 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,491 I want to go with you, like we used to. 130 00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,362 Oh, grow up, Daniel. 131 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,705 Maybe he wouldn't be crying all the time 132 00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:16,436 if he didn't have that bloody, great stupid birthmark on his arse! 133 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,509 Fuck you! 134 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,240 I think it was obvious. I wasn't angry for me. 135 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,145 I was angry for Teresa. 136 00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:25,811 That baby, Mr. Needy, was draining the life out of her. 137 00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:27,945 He always had to be the center of attention. 138 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,353 It just wasn't healthy. 139 00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,891 For her own good, and for the good of our relationship, 140 00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:34,120 something had to be done. 141 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:37,995 - I'm sorry about last night. - It's all right. 142 00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:42,160 I think all our problems are just temporary. 143 00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:58,816 I always wanted to do mime. Did you? 144 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,850 Do you want a hot dog? 145 00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:07,386 Yeah. Yeah, that would be lovely. 146 00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:13,265 Are you warm? Are you happy? 147 00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:34,587 Stop it, Bernard. 148 00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:42,986 Don't throw it so high, you're ruining my pacing. 149 00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,394 I warned you, 150 00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:47,730 but you had to go ahead and do it anyway, didn't you? 151 00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:55,774 I always end my act with it. 152 00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:58,835 It's my pièce de résistance, 153 00:12:58,911 --> 00:13:01,710 but you, you just couldn't leave well enough alone. 154 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,340 Oh, you're jealous. 155 00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:12,190 The box within the box within the box has always been my illusion! 156 00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:15,456 - Mine! - Not anymore. I do it better! 157 00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:17,895 You stuck up bitch! 158 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:18,964 Turn around! 159 00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:22,227 I told you. Don't criticize me! 160 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:25,534 Stop it, you bastard, or I'll call the police! 161 00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:53,691 Danny! 162 00:13:56,803 --> 00:14:00,069 Stop! My baby! 163 00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:03,405 Stop him, he's got my baby! Someone! 164 00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,468 My baby! 165 00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:11,074 My baby! Stop him! 166 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,953 - You all right? - Catch him! Get my baby! 167 00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:20,258 Stop! 168 00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:23,288 Stop! 169 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,991 Come back! 170 00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:27,598 Come back! 171 00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:30,836 Stop! 172 00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:33,231 Stop! 173 00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:36,441 Stop! 174 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:46,678 Stop! 175 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,701 Everything had gone as planned. 176 00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:04,169 We were free. 177 00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:11,940 There must be something you could do. 178 00:15:12,011 --> 00:15:17,075 Look, I'd give up a month's pay if I could hand you that baby tonight. 179 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:20,245 We're going to do everything we can. 180 00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:21,480 The birthmark helps, 181 00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:23,832 but if we could just have a better description of the guy who... 182 00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:27,452 I told you! I couldn't see him. What do you want from me? 183 00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:29,428 Teresa, come on, now. 184 00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:33,228 You did everything you could. 185 00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,427 We both did. 186 00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:40,264 Why did they take my baby? 187 00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:02,987 Here, give her these, they'll make her sleep. 188 00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:05,691 - Give you a chance to rest. - Thank you. 189 00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:08,291 For what it's worth, I've got three of my own. 190 00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:10,734 If I ever caught someone looking funny at one of them, 191 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:15,036 I'd kill the bastard faster than he could scream police brutality. 192 00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:16,735 Look, Mr. Skeggs, 193 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,540 I have to level with you. 194 00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:23,379 Over 100 babies turn up missing in this country every year. 195 00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:26,044 Most are what we call custody snatches, 196 00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:28,952 a few are grabbed by the emotionally disturbed, 197 00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:31,650 then there's the black market. 198 00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,386 The rest... 199 00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:38,193 So you're telling me the odds aren't good? 200 00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:41,200 I'm telling you to prepare yourself. 201 00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:45,705 If this doesn't work out, it's gonna be a long road back. 202 00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:53,207 I want my baby. 203 00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:57,776 - I want my baby back. - Don't worry. 204 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,981 Please, God, give me back my baby. 205 00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,023 We'll get him back. 206 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:08,890 Danny? 207 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,524 Yeah? 208 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,063 Will you sit with me? 209 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,301 Please. 210 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,894 Yeah, sure. 211 00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:31,881 Remember, no matter what happens, you've still got me. 212 00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,920 I'll still be here. 213 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,924 It'll be like the old days. 214 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,358 Better, even. 215 00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:45,262 We can have our own baby, if you want. 216 00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,867 I love you. 217 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:56,105 Danny, don't. 218 00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,303 Stop it. 219 00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:02,041 Danny, stop. 220 00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:03,912 I want to show you. 221 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:08,883 Danny. Danny, stop it! Stop it! 222 00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:11,049 Fuck, don't touch me! 223 00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:13,524 Don't you understand? I don't want you. 224 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,824 I want my baby. 225 00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:34,679 Teresa needed a hero. 226 00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:38,377 If I could return the baby to her, she'd have to love me. 227 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,749 You what? 228 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,482 Get the fuck out of here. 229 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:45,719 - I want my baby back. - You can't have him back. 230 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,225 He's gone. 231 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,888 What do you mean? You only picked him up the other day. 232 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:53,228 Yeah, and he's already been placed, you Mancie. 233 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:59,971 Do you have any idea what a white newborn baby is worth? 234 00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,168 Yeah. 235 00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:08,613 Exactly what you paid me. £2,000. 236 00:19:11,183 --> 00:19:13,982 Ten times that, idiot. 237 00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:16,284 I know doctors and lawyers who'd queue up 238 00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:19,052 round the block for a placement like him. 239 00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:24,154 That kid was signed, sealed and delivered in under two hours. 240 00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:27,897 Now, look, you get my baby back 241 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:30,562 or I'll have the police in here so fast your head will spin. 242 00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:33,231 Okay, okay. Sit down. 243 00:19:33,305 --> 00:19:37,242 - You made your point. - Just get me my baby back. 244 00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,012 Snaps! 245 00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:46,615 Meet Daniel Skeggs. 246 00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:56,596 - How's it hanging, Skeggs? - All right, I suppose. 247 00:19:56,662 --> 00:20:01,327 Mr. Skeggs here was just telling me he wanted his baby back. 248 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:05,770 He said if we don't, he's going to call the police. 249 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,170 Sounds pretty grim. 250 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,038 I'm desperate. 251 00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:11,475 My girlfriend... 252 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:14,378 We paid you good money for the kid. 253 00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:17,679 That makes you an accessory to kidnapping. 254 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,912 The police wouldn't like that much. 255 00:20:19,985 --> 00:20:21,578 But they wouldn't have to know. 256 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:24,089 You're still not getting it, Skeggs. 257 00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:27,624 It's like this! 258 00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:29,719 If I ever see you again, 259 00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:32,390 if I ever even hear your name, 260 00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:36,826 you are a dead man! 261 00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:44,609 Now... 262 00:20:45,544 --> 00:20:47,069 Get him out of here. 263 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,451 Teresa? 264 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:08,167 - Teresa? - Danny, 265 00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:10,260 can't you see he's asleep? 266 00:21:10,336 --> 00:21:14,774 Mummy's little baby was hiding in the rubbish behind the flat, weren't you? 267 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:15,984 Yes, you were. But I found him. 268 00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:18,944 No! No! 269 00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:20,980 No! 270 00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,516 I'll take him back. 271 00:21:25,584 --> 00:21:27,177 Sorry, what did you say? 272 00:21:27,253 --> 00:21:28,812 My baby. 273 00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,982 Please, give him to me. 274 00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:33,616 Holding the baby suddenly got me thinking. 275 00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:36,662 I can make Teresa better and be her hero. 276 00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:37,924 All babies look alike. 277 00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:40,193 They all eat, sleep and cry. 278 00:21:40,266 --> 00:21:41,666 What's the difference? 279 00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:44,226 If you ask me, one baby's as good as another. 280 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:45,396 Thank you. 281 00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:48,472 No! 282 00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:50,032 My baby! 283 00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:51,975 My baby! 284 00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:54,303 My baby! 285 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:21,538 It's all right. 286 00:22:26,378 --> 00:22:28,472 The boss was right about you, mate. 287 00:22:28,547 --> 00:22:31,278 - He had a feeling you'd try something. - Over here. 288 00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:32,727 - There he is! - Come on, let's get him! 289 00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:35,243 - Get him! - Give me that kid! 290 00:22:35,321 --> 00:22:36,983 - After him! - Stop him! 291 00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:38,456 Give me that kid! 292 00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:40,322 Get the baby away! 293 00:22:51,503 --> 00:22:52,994 Bastard! 294 00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:54,768 Give him to me. 295 00:23:04,617 --> 00:23:08,349 It was Teresa's baby, my baby. 296 00:23:08,420 --> 00:23:11,549 But there was nothing I could do about it now. 297 00:23:11,624 --> 00:23:14,560 It's funny the effect a baby can have on people. 298 00:23:17,930 --> 00:23:19,364 Poor Daniel. 299 00:23:19,431 --> 00:23:23,562 I bet he never thought he'd get such a kick from falling in love. 300 00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:27,198 At least in the end, he did the writhe thing. 301 00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:34,441 As for me, kiddies, I've got to get back to my game. 302 00:23:34,513 --> 00:23:37,506 I've been on quite a winning shriek. 303 00:23:41,186 --> 00:23:44,918 Now, that's what I call a service break. 304 00:24:25,364 --> 00:24:26,364 English -SDH 21872

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