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1
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,787
Dr. Crypt Keeper,
2
00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:36,694
I'm not the one with
the problem here, she is.
3
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:40,256
Relationships aren't
about who's right or wrong.
4
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,860
Look, do you remember
how you felt about each other
5
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,167
when you were newly bleds?
6
00:01:45,238 --> 00:01:49,573
Do you want to feel the same way
you felt at your marriage scare-emony?
7
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:50,804
Good.
8
00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:54,814
Then let go of what you
find irritating about each other
9
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:57,817
before it gross too far.
10
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:03,885
Which is the kind of advice the young
couple in tonight's tale should take.
11
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:07,416
They're fiends and lovers
whose relationship is clot
12
00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:10,054
between a rock
in a horrid place.
13
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:14,067
I call this one "Cold War."
14
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:39,218
I thought you said this
beautiful borough had a bank.
15
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:41,881
- Shut up.
- How sweet, Ford.
16
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,220
Do you French kiss your
mother with that mouth?
17
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:45,554
Nice one.
18
00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:48,558
I said shut up, both of you.
19
00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:52,230
It's here somewhere.
Just keep an eye out.
20
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:46,011
Get a move on, Cutter. Come
on. We haven't got all night here.
21
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,361
The bank's just
up ahead. I know it.
22
00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:57,658
Ain't here, mate.
23
00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:01,099
Oh, well, I don't remember
asking you, ass bag.
24
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:04,536
Maybe you should pay more attention
to the pecking order round here, huh?
25
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:10,168
Not on the face! Not on the face,
okay? Chill out, Cutter. Just chill.
26
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:14,375
All I'm trying to tell
you, boss, is it ain't here,
27
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,610
'cause it ain't here.
28
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:21,888
It used to be a bank,
now it's a launderette.
29
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,990
Damn it.
30
00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:29,120
I'm sorry, baby.
31
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,157
What do you want to do now?
32
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:36,463
I got a plan.
33
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:47,914
You know the routine.
Just keep it running.
34
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,851
Ford, don't be such a wanker.
35
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,912
This isn't a good
idea and you know it.
36
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:58,720
I don't know what a
wanker is and I don't care.
37
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:02,024
Look, a man's gotta do
what a man's gotta do.
38
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,973
Who ever heard of putting
a Laundromat in a bank?
39
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,727
That's what I've
been trying to tell you.
40
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,324
It's a bad omen.
41
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,301
Let's just get back in the car.
42
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,065
No can do, princess.
43
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:13,766
I was really looking forward to
robbing that bank, you know that?
44
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,071
I know. But there'll be others.
45
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:19,874
I'm telling you, this whole
thing's giving me a bad feeling.
46
00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:24,841
Don't do this. I mean it.
47
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,687
Come on, what's your problem?
48
00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:30,690
We must've done a thousand
jobs like this before now.
49
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:33,352
Only the bad guys
had guns, remember?
50
00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:36,762
Look, what could
possibly go wrong?
51
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:44,561
Okay, party people, let's
put our hands up in the air,
52
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:47,506
and lets all wave them
around like we just...
53
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,307
Shit.
54
00:06:57,784 --> 00:07:01,312
Ford, if they don't kill you,
I'm going to do it myself.
55
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,050
Yeah, promises, promises.
56
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:06,116
Hey, be cool, kids. Okay,
let's just be cool here.
57
00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:07,937
I'm a firm believer in
the teachings of Buddha,
58
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,759
and like the fat
man always said,
59
00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:13,163
first come first served, so we'll
just be backing out of here...
60
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,929
Do not move.
61
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,300
Not in my face.
Anywhere but in my face.
62
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,070
Come on. Here.
63
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,409
Drop your gun. Drop it.
64
00:07:29,482 --> 00:07:32,748
I'll just put it here.
Just put it there.
65
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:33,912
Drop it, bitch.
66
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,751
- Bitch?
- Shit.
67
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,109
Who the hell do you
think you're talking to?
68
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,493
- No!
- Drop it or he's dead!
69
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:44,360
In your dreams.
70
00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:47,128
I'm gonna wear your ears
on a fucking necklace, Kato.
71
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,964
Don't call me Kato, bitch.
72
00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:51,368
Then don't call me bitch, Kato.
73
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,126
Cam... Cam... Cammy... Cammy!
74
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,729
You've got every right to be breathing
fire here, no one says you don't.
75
00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:10,952
But the spray on that bird
gun is pretty wide, honey.
76
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,356
Your point being?
77
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:15,071
Well, my point being, we've got a
better chance of getting out of here alive
78
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,305
if you use what's
between your legs
79
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:19,493
instead of that thunder
stick in your hands.
80
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,364
I suppose you're right.
81
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,528
Put the gun down, please.
82
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:34,709
You win.
83
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,846
Gotta nick me some
matches. Laid it out!
84
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:47,626
Cammy!
85
00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:05,039
- Go on, baby!
- You bitch.
86
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,236
- Run!
- Go!
87
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,681
So long, Cutter!
88
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,520
Come on, Cammy!
89
00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:26,599
Come on, baby!
90
00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:29,835
Bye, bye, Cutter.
91
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,428
Wait for me.
92
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:36,508
- What did I tell you?
- We'll discuss it later! Just drive!
93
00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:43,981
Oh, shit.
94
00:09:57,197 --> 00:10:00,531
Come on, baby.
Come on. You can do it.
95
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,001
Here. Have some of this.
96
00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:06,071
Okay.
97
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:11,638
Is that better? Is that better?
98
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,375
It's gonna be all right.
99
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:21,216
Careful. Careful.
100
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:24,457
I'm doing my best.
101
00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:29,460
Hold still. I can't find it.
102
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:35,994
Well, of course you can't
find it. That's the wrong leg.
103
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,197
Well, how was I
supposed to know?
104
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,797
- There was a hole there.
- Well, that's an old hole.
105
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:43,742
The new one with the
slug in it is in this leg.
106
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,279
Fine, if you're gonna be
such a wanker, do it yourself.
107
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,247
Oh, there's that word again.
108
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,510
I mean, it's not like you
haven't been shot before.
109
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:53,018
Why do you always have to
make such a big deal out of it?
110
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:56,181
Because each and every
time it happens, it still hurts!
111
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:57,781
Here, let me show you.
112
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:03,419
You bastard!
113
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,988
Ah, quit your crying.
It barely grazed you!
114
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:08,534
I could have done some
serious damage if I wanted to!
115
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,212
You people are
making too much noise.
116
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:12,967
Shut up, Shavey! Don't
make me come up there!
117
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:19,742
Right, that's it, Ford. No more. I'm
through letting you treat me like shit.
118
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:23,340
Good. Go on, then,
leave. You'll be back.
119
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:27,114
And to the women God said, "Your
yearning will be for your husband,
120
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,315
"and he will dominate you."
121
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,290
Genesis 3:16.
122
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:33,424
Not this time.
123
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:36,952
Yeah, well, that's what you said
last time, and the time before that.
124
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,692
Besides, who else
would have you?
125
00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:42,759
- Plenty of men.
- Wrong. The answer is nobody.
126
00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:45,498
Don't you see? That's our bond.
127
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:48,167
We're in this together.
We're two of a kind.
128
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,267
I don't believe that anymore.
129
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:53,905
- People are more accepting.
- People are shit.
130
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:57,109
Look, go on! Go, if
you wanna go so bad!
131
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:01,254
- Ford!
- Go on! You'll be back!
132
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,682
You'd better hope not.
133
00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:07,955
'Cause if I do,
you're gonna regret it.
134
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:16,128
- I'm leaving.
- Eat one!
135
00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:38,516
Excuse me, barman,
can you help me out here?
136
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:43,085
I just hit town and I'm
looking for a friendly face.
137
00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:45,825
Yeah? What is it you want?
138
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:52,470
Look around you, man. I
think that's pretty obvious, huh?
139
00:12:52,538 --> 00:12:56,373
I mean, do you see any big
titties rubbing up against me?
140
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,519
Do you see me doing the bump
141
00:12:57,543 --> 00:12:59,569
on the dance floor with
any fine looking bootie?
142
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,774
- No, you don't.
- Well...
143
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:03,009
Mmm-mmm.
144
00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:05,522
I didn't ask you if you could
see any one-eyed, banjo playing,
145
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:08,817
big-headed Deliverance
types with teeth missing
146
00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:11,289
and tattoos on their necks.
147
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:13,485
Those, my friend,
148
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,758
you have plenty of.
149
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,060
No.
150
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:23,832
What I need to know is, where
are all the good looking ladies, man?
151
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:25,804
How many do you need?
152
00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:34,805
Will one do?
153
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:39,078
Yeah.
154
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,780
That's fine.
155
00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:10,142
- Hello.
- Hello.
156
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,584
What's your name?
157
00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:21,618
And now reality sets in.
158
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:23,155
You don't like reality?
159
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:27,853
Reality sucks. I've
had reality up to here.
160
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,723
But if you must know,
161
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:36,732
the name's Jimmy. Jimmy Picket.
162
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,565
Hi, Jimmy Picket.
163
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:45,142
If I said I could change your
reality, would you be interested?
164
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:46,941
Baby, I've been
underground for so long,
165
00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:51,144
if you dance a little closer I'll
show you just how interested.
166
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:54,847
- I'll take that as a yes.
- In a big way.
167
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,712
The holes in my floor...
168
00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:05,925
Shavey! I don't know shit
about the holes in your floor.
169
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:08,791
Sounds to me that you've been
smoking the crack again, buddy.
170
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:12,662
Guns are illegal. Every Tom,
Dick and wanker knows that.
171
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:15,896
Wanker? I'll give you the wanker.
Every time you making the noise...
172
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:21,236
Wankers. Sounds like some fucking
breakfast cereal to me. Wankers!
173
00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:28,614
I told you you'd
come back, didn't I?
174
00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:31,679
Cammy?
175
00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:38,523
Cammy?
176
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:47,499
Cammy?
177
00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:51,262
Ford.
178
00:17:55,441 --> 00:17:58,377
What the hell have you
been doing all day, baby?
179
00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:00,436
I think you mean "who."
180
00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:06,782
Hey, that's my robe!
181
00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:08,684
That it is.
182
00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:15,958
- This the guy you were telling me about?
- That's him.
183
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,257
I expected more.
184
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:24,701
Hang on a minute. Is this
your big idea of revenge?
185
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:27,097
With this guy?
186
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:34,039
Okay, okay, I apologize. I'll never
shoot at you again. Now get rid of him.
187
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:37,379
Too late, Ford. This
is my new partner.
188
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:38,984
So...
189
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,380
Eat one!
190
00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:47,054
You can't partner one of them.
191
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,926
Jeez, I can't even
believe you let him do you.
192
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,429
Take another shower, Cammy.
193
00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:53,008
- The thought of it's making me sick.
- You racist little prick.
194
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:54,443
Maybe it's time somebody
taught you some manners.
195
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,231
- Jimmy, no!
- He doesn't get it, does he?
196
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:59,067
Oh, I get it all right.
You're gonna be my bitch.
197
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,936
Superfly, chill out.
198
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:03,135
Look, this isn't about
the color of your skin.
199
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:05,053
In my world there's only
one thing that determines
200
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:06,978
who rates and who doesn't.
201
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:10,414
Simply put, are you
alive or are you dead?
202
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:17,989
Any more questions?
203
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:21,619
Bastard! I hate it
when you do that!
204
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,596
I thought we agreed. After
Cutter, no more humans.
205
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,463
Then stop treating me like shit.
206
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:29,798
I'm tired, Ford.
207
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:31,064
I want out!
208
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:35,302
There is no way out. Face
up to it, we belong together.
209
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,537
Now tell me why?
210
00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:42,807
You know the answer. Tell me!
211
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:45,010
Because we're zombies.
212
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:48,748
That's right. We're
ghouls, the walking dead.
213
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:49,981
Whatever you want to call us,
214
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,617
we're no longer a part
of the world out there.
215
00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:55,418
The living can't be trusted.
216
00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:57,190
Neither can the dead...
217
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:06,336
Zombies.
218
00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:10,274
You can stick your dick in them,
but you wouldn't want to feed off one.
219
00:20:10,476 --> 00:20:11,910
Let me go!
220
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,744
Ford, you gotta believe me.
221
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:15,941
I didn't know.
222
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:18,507
Okay, baby. I'm coming, baby.
223
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:20,309
I'm sorry!
224
00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:42,174
You ever tasted zombie blood?
225
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:45,473
It's putrid, like beer
that's gone bad.
226
00:20:45,544 --> 00:20:50,847
One sip and you are shitting
your stomach lining into the bowl.
227
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:54,318
I gotta hand it to you, bloodsucker,
you paint a pretty picture.
228
00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:56,719
Trouble is not one
word of it's true.
229
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:59,657
He's right. We're
no different than you.
230
00:20:59,725 --> 00:21:03,662
Blasphemy! Your kind
are garbage eaters.
231
00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:08,667
Mindless, lazy critters who
live off of the flesh of the dead.
232
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:11,670
You feast on what we
vampires throw away.
233
00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:17,404
Now, bow down to me, bitch, and
show your master some respect.
234
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,743
What did you call me?
235
00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:24,011
A name worthy of your species.
236
00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:26,050
Dog.
237
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,177
Hey.
238
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:30,051
You're gonna regret that.
239
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,761
Bitch. That's what
I thought you said.
240
00:21:36,829 --> 00:21:40,789
Kiss my zombie
ass, motherfucker!
241
00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:44,534
Bull's-eye!
242
00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:52,669
Going somewhere?
243
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:57,481
I'm going to tear your
head from your shoulders
244
00:21:57,550 --> 00:21:59,212
and shit down your throat.
245
00:21:59,285 --> 00:22:03,746
Tell it to someone who cares.
You can't kill us, we're already dead.
246
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:06,987
He's right. Fight's
over, Count Chocula.
247
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:11,622
You can walk away peaceful
or in pieces. Your choice.
248
00:22:11,697 --> 00:22:14,326
No! Not the face!
No guns to the face!
249
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,097
See? We're not
that different after all.
250
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:19,729
Men, all vain as shit.
251
00:22:21,373 --> 00:22:24,741
Hey, zombies. Y'all so easy.
252
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,537
Out we go!
253
00:22:43,462 --> 00:22:45,055
There you are.
254
00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:51,402
So, vampires can turn into bats and
fly away before they hit the ground?
255
00:22:52,104 --> 00:22:54,130
Does that really make
them that different?
256
00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:55,504
Mmm-hmm.
257
00:22:55,908 --> 00:22:59,174
Okay, maybe you've got a point,
but it doesn't give them the right
258
00:22:59,245 --> 00:23:02,079
to treat us like
second-class citizens.
259
00:23:02,147 --> 00:23:05,311
If I ever see that
blood-sucking rodent again,
260
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:08,684
I'm gonna break both his wings.
261
00:23:08,754 --> 00:23:12,589
No, those snobbish vampires
don't have anything on us.
262
00:23:14,193 --> 00:23:15,752
That's right.
263
00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:19,560
Things will be a bit different
now, but we'll manage.
264
00:23:19,632 --> 00:23:23,091
I mean, we both
can't be the pretty one.
265
00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:26,161
Oh, did that shotgun hurt you?
266
00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:30,843
Here, let me help
you with that, sweetie.
267
00:23:31,277 --> 00:23:33,803
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
268
00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:37,978
Oh!
269
00:23:38,717 --> 00:23:40,948
There, there.
270
00:23:41,020 --> 00:23:43,182
Don't you worry.
271
00:23:43,889 --> 00:23:46,017
I'll take care of you.
272
00:23:47,026 --> 00:23:49,359
Don't really have a choice.
273
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:53,297
After all, we're two of a kind.
274
00:24:00,139 --> 00:24:01,266
Shit.
275
00:24:06,478 --> 00:24:08,538
I guess Cammy and Ford
276
00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:12,847
won't be joining Jimmy's
fang club anytime soon.
277
00:24:12,918 --> 00:24:17,356
Still, I do see a little blight at
the end of the tunnel for them,
278
00:24:17,423 --> 00:24:20,291
if Ford's new look gross on her.
279
00:24:23,228 --> 00:24:27,427
So, how's our struggle
with wife and death?
280
00:24:27,499 --> 00:24:29,434
Are we happy?
281
00:24:31,370 --> 00:24:35,603
Looks like they'll be headed
for divorce corpse instead.
282
00:25:17,449 --> 00:25:18,449
English -SDH
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