All language subtitles for Tales From The Crypt (1989) S07E02 Last Respects.en

Greetings infesters! I'll
be with you in a moment.

I was just putting these gross
profits away for safekeeping.

You see, boils and ghouls,
at Crypt Keeper Financial,

we can help you get
morgue for your money.

Whether it's mutual fiends
you want or cold, horrid cash,

we can guarantee
you'll coroner the market.

I bet you'd be the type who's interested
in boo chips, like tonight's tale.

It's about three girls who are chopping
around for a tax fright-off of their own

in a nasty shock option
I call "Last Respects."

There now. It's done.

Richard, I'm
sorry. I'm so sorry...

Now, don't worry. The dogs
have him now. He can't hurt you.

Good Sophie. Good
Kingsley. Always faithful.

The dogs do love us, don't they, no
matter what pact we've made with the devil?

Of course, darling. Animals
don't understand these things.

- Oh, God! Oh, God!
- Come on.

- Do you have it?
- Yes, I have it.

Just one last wish, to
make things right again.

No. No more wishes.

But I can outwit it this
time. I know what to do.

How can you believe such a
thing after what we've seen?

This abomination raised a dead thing
from its grave in answer to your wish!

I can send it away
again with my final wish,

if you'll allow
me just to hold it.

No. No. The third wish must
go unused. It's the only way.

Sophie?

No!

I did it, Richard. You'll see.

I made a wish that this paw would be
owned by someone who really deserved it.

We're free of the curse now!

But don't you see? For the paw to
belong to someone else, we would have to...

You have your wish
at last, my darling.

We are free of
the curse forever.

What are those?

They're for Halloween.

We're a house of curios,
not a costume shop.

Delores, at this rate,
we'll soon be paupers,

and no amount of Father's
magic is going to change that.

If we're going to survive, we're going
to have to expand our client base.

Never.

I will not have nasty little children in
this shop, dressed up like Iggy Oswald,

biting the heads
off rubber bats.

- Ozzy Oswald.
- Oh, Iggy Osbald. Whomever.

I will not have them
mocking the dark arts.

Would more than likely cause
Father to roll over in his grave.

- Sorry, Father.
- That would be novel.

Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?

If you're thinking of coming
back from the dead anytime soon,

would you please let us know?

- 'Cause we could use the space.
- Hello?

- Help, Marlise, will you...
- Anybody home?

Before she breaks something?

Sorry!

Oh, help her yourself. She's
more fond of you anyway.

Of course she is.

With an attitude like yours, it's a wonder
you have any human relationships at all.

LaVONNE: Well, at least...

At least I'm not in
my 30s and still single.

You know, there's a very good
reason why no man will have you,

and it has absolutely nothing to do
with that ugly hammertoe of yours.

It's because you're boring,
boring as Buckingham Palace.

Funny, but I swear I
remember asking for help.

Of course, you did, darling, but your
sister and I were just discussing business.

- Or the lack thereof.
- Oh, yes, well, business is slow.

Terribly slow.

Maybe it's time we
reconsidered our options.

No. I will not sell
Mr. Finger's House of Curios.

I promised Father.

Times change and
people must change, too.

Let's not forget that Basil and I still
have Grandmother Oakfist to feed.

The money would be very helpful.

I won't sell. I can't.

She's terribly selfish.

I didn't understand why
Father left her in charge.

I knew we should
have contested the will.

I hate you!

Yeah, well, I hate
you even more.

In fact, I detest the actual
day that you were born,

you wretched little mistake.

Has it ever occurred to you that
one more prophylactic to a box

and it would have
been just the two of us?

You liar! That's not true!

Look!

It's a sign.

Three wishes?

Delores, don't be daft.

Basil, are you going to join us?

In a moment, darling.
The ham smells delicious.

It's lamb, you twit.

Lamb, you say? Interesting.
Carry on. I'll just be a minute.

As I was saying, that
whole monkey paw business

is just an old story.

Something Father
told us as children.

It's more than that,
LaVonne. It was in a book.

Yes, thank you, Marlise.

Your literary insight is
awe-inspiring as always.

But as most people know,
stories do come from books.

Not always. Sometimes
they come from newspapers.

Stop your quibbling. It doesn't
matter where the story came from.

What matters is
that the story is true.

LaVONNE: Right. What if?

How do we even
know this is the paw?

Marlise, did you check with the
people you purchased it from?

I told you, it was an estate
sale. The couple was deceased.

Beware the paw.

It's cursed.

More meat. More meat.

A simple "please"
would have sufficed.

Do you see what I have to put
up with around here? Do you?

It's ridiculous.

What about a magazine?

On occasion, stories are
found in magazines, too.

Thank you, Basil. Have
you taken your medicine?

Good.

Then feel free to continue
embarrassing yourself as much as you like.

LaVonne, listen to me.

I believe what Marlise
said this morning is true.

- Father doesn't want us to sell the store.
- How do you know that?

Because he sent us a helping
hand from beyond the grave.

"Three wishes I
give, and no more,

"to each owner of
me, so keep score.

"Each wish will come true,

"so take care what you do..."

- Blast! I can't make out the rest.
- Let me.

Something illegible...

"Greed I deplore."

It's not very friendly
sounding, is it?

- Grandmother gone to sleep?
- Yes.

Even Basil. What a shame.

Are you sure you
know what you're doing?

If I remember
the story correctly,

those wishes had a
way of taking a nasty turn.

Then we'll just have to be smarter than
the people in that book. They were greedy.

Right. We'll start smaller.
We'll be a bit more careful.

We won't wish for any
more than we really need.

Exactly.

I wish for a million pounds.

A million pounds?
We're as good as dead!

- You said start small.
- That's not small.

Yes, it is, in the
scheme of things.

Don't forget that I have
unlimited power here.

I could have easily
asked for 100 million

or even a billion pounds.

Not that it really matters
'cause nothing happened.

Hello?

Yes. Yes, she's here.

Certainly.

How many?

Right.

Just a moment please.

I don't want it. I'm afraid.

Oh, shut up, you bloody
parrot. It's Father's lawyer.

Hello?

What is it?

- LaVONNE: One of Father's shipments...
- Yes, Mr. Curd.

Was just delivered to his lawyer
by a representative of the post office.

Apparently it was lost in
the system for over 40 years.

What was in the shipment?

According to the paperwork,
three fountain pens.

Yes.

Fountain pens?

Yes. Waterford Snakes.

Only four exist in the entire
world. We now own three.

At £250,000 apiece.

- How much?
- £750,000!

Do you know what this
means? The paw works!

Except that you wished for a
million. Doesn't that seem odd?

Oh, what the hell?
We're rich! We're rich!

LaVONNE: Yes, we are.

Or should I say she is?

Whatever do you mean?

As the owner of the House of
Curios, the pens legally belong to her.

Oh, but she'll share with
her sisters. Won't she?

Don't let her out of your sight.

I still can't believe it.

Three quarters of a million
pounds, and it's all mine.

To be shared with the
two of you, of course.

Well, I for one won't believe any of this
until the pens are safely in our vault.

Oh, never doubt the
power of the spirit world.

If Father wants us
to succeed, we will.

I'll be in the shop.

Get back as soon as
you've acquired the pens.

Perhaps it would be better if I put
the pens in my safety deposit box

at the First National.

Safety deposit box?

- When... When...
- Since Daddy died.

It was all part of the
will. I thought you knew.

- No, we didn't know.
- Why didn't you tell us?

I thought I did.

Oh, well, I guess I didn't
think it was that important.

Don't you worry, sweetie.
Those pens are as good as ours.

What do you mean,
there are no pens?

On the phone you said
there were three pens!

Three pens worth £250,000 each!

Yes, well, I'm sorry.

But as you can see for yourself,
there was a misprint on the shipping...

What am I supposed to do
with 33 waterway snakes?

I'm warning you, Marlise,
stop this nonsense right now!

Marlise, are you
listening to me?

Again, my
condolences, Ms. Finger.

But as I mentioned before, I
do have a dinner engagement.

Mr. Curd, I don't care if you're having
dinner with the Queen in your underwear.

If you don't take your
hands off me right now,

I promise you I will personally
introduce all 33 of these snakes

up your large and
rather unflattering arse.

- Out!
- Oh, stop it!

- Stop that blubbering, you spoiled brat!
- Don't! Leave her!

Where are the two of you?

Car accident?

Are they both dead?

Is... Is Marlise dead?

The doctor said she
probably didn't feel a thing.

We were fighting on the way
home. She wouldn't stop crying.

Don't.

Can I see her?

No. The car, it went
up like an inferno.

At least you were thrown free.

- She wouldn't stop crying.
- Stop. It gets worse.

Do you remember
the safety deposit box?

- She had an insurance policy.
- No!

Oh, it's all my fault.

It was worth a million pounds.
Exactly what I'd wished for.

The monkey's paw. Destroy
it. Destroy it! Promise me!

I don't know if I can.

Read it again if you
have to. You can't do it.

I can. I can beat the paw.
I can bring Marlise back.

No, you can't.

That's exactly what they
tried to do in the book.

She wishes her son back to life,

but he comes to the door
as he is now, a rotting corpse.

Oh, I can! I can beat the paw!

Delores, Marlise is gone.

Don't do any more
damage. Give me the paw.

Oh, no, I've still got two
wishes left. Two wishes left!

No, Doctor, it's not healthy.
She thinks it has magical powers.

It's simply a stuffed
paw, nothing more.

LaVonne! LaVonne!

Right. Well, we'll see you
tomorrow then. Yes. Thank you.

What is it?

I know what the second wish should
be. Oh, why didn't I think of it before?

Give that to me.

- I wish...
- Don't!

That Marlise was the way she
was right before the accident.

No. No.

Answer the bloody phone.

Hello?

Thank you. We'll be right there.

That was the funeral home.

They said they needed
to see us right away.

I can't do it. I can't
go down there.

Fine.

I'll go by myself. You
never cared for her.

She was your sister,
and you hated her!

As I told your sister, it's very
strange, Ms. Finger. Very strange...

She's alive, isn't she?

No. Not quite that strange,
but strange enough. Look.

- I don't understand.
- Frankly, neither do I.

The police told me your
sister drove her car off the road.

Yes, the car went up in flames.
She was horribly disfigured, burned.

Ms. Finger, your sister's
car didn't catch on fire.

She drove it into the lake.

She did?

Yes, but something
very odd is going on here.

Somehow the police
detectives missed this.

Just before your sister crashed her
car, somebody put a bullet in her head.

Your sister was murdered.

Murderer!

As I believe you once said,
"Times change and people do, too."

Marlise told you about the insurance
policy as you left Father's lawyer,

and you killed her.

That's right.

And I would have got away with it, too,
if it hadn't been for that ridiculous paw.

No, you had to try and
bring the little brat back.

You had all the money
you could ever need.

But, no, you had
to fuck with history.

You're mad.

No, I'm not. I'm justified.

You didn't marry Basil.

You didn't change Grandma
Oakfist's nappies every night. I did.

I paid my dues.

And now I want out, and
you're not going to stop me.

Give me that
bloody paw, Delores.

I don't want you using
that last wish against me.

You don't have to worry,
LaVonne. I've already used it.

- You what?
- Oh, I'm not as daft as you think.

I gave my wish away.

I wished that the last
wish belonged to my sister.

You're pathetic. I
don't want your wish.

In fact, I wish that you
had your wish back.

There. That's done it.

No, it's not, because I didn't tell
the paw which sister to give it to.

I beat it at its own
ridiculous game.

That twisted paw gave
the wish to Marlise.

The funny thing is, her wish was
to spend a little more time with you.

Shame about LaVonne. She
wanted so badly to be rich,

but ended up just
another paw girl.

Still, you'll be pleased to know, kiddies,
that the girls settled their differences

and reopened the store as
Ye Olde Gore-iocity Shoppe.

It's so nice to see a little
family business that gruesome.

As for me, I'm afraid a few
of my investment strategies

have got me into
trouble with the "Die-RS."

Not to worry though,
the joke's on him.

I'm about to make a killing.

English -SDH