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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,134 --> 00:00:02,854 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. 2 00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,742 AH HA HA HA! 3 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,258 OH, HELLO KIDDIES. 4 00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:38,263 TONIGHT'S COFFIN CAPER IS SO CRAMMED WITH GHASTLY GREED 5 00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:41,366 SICKENING SEX AND VOMITUS VIOLENCE. 6 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,636 THAT PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS ADVISED. 7 00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:49,674 SO GUIDE YOUR PARENTS OUT OF THE ROOM SO WE CAN HAVE SOME FUN. 8 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,376 HA HA HA HA HA HA! 9 00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:55,080 THIS TALE CONCERNS A GAMBLING MAN 10 00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:58,150 WITH A BAD CASE OF DOUBLE VISION 11 00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,585 WHO'S ABOUT TO HIT THE HACKPOT. 12 00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:03,155 I CALL THIS TWIN HELPING OF HORROR... 13 00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:06,891 SPLIT PERSONALITY. 14 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,716 ♪ AH, THE BUZZARD TOOK THE MONKEY ♪ 15 00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:22,107 ♪ FOR A RIDE IN THE AIR ♪ 16 00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:24,009 ♪ THE MONKEY THOUGHT THAT EVERYTHING ♪ 17 00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:25,443 ♪ WAS ON THE SQUARE ♪ 18 00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:27,445 ♪ THE BUZZARD TRIED TO THROW THE MONKEY ♪ 19 00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:28,880 ♪ OFF HIS BACK ♪ 20 00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:32,284 ♪ THE MONKEY GRABBED HIS NECK AND SAID, "NOW, LISTEN, JACK" ♪ 21 00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:35,320 ♪ "STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT" ♪ 22 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:38,656 ♪ "STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT" ♪ 23 00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:40,926 ♪ "STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT" ♪ 24 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,995 ♪ "OH, COOL DOWN, PAPA, DON'T YOU BLOW YOUR TOP" ♪ 25 00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:45,830 ♪ WELL, THE BUZZARD TOLD THE MONKEY ♪ 26 00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,698 ♪ "YOU ARE CHOKING ME" ♪ 27 00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:50,568 ♪ "RELEASE YOUR HOLD, AND I'LL SET YOU FREE" ♪ 28 00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:53,604 ♪ THE MONKEY LOOKED THE BUZZARD RIGHT DEAD IN THE EYE ♪ 29 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:57,008 ♪ SAID, "YOUR STORY'S TOUCHING, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE A LIE" ♪ 30 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,487 HIT ME. 31 00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:12,557 I'M SORRY. I'M NEW AT THIS. 32 00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:16,627 THESE GREEN CHIPS ARE WORTH $5.00, RIGHT? 33 00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:17,829 $50, SIR. 34 00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:18,898 NO, NO, NO. 35 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:22,834 I MADE A MISTAKE I MEANT TO BET 5. 36 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,536 THE BET'S ON THE TABLE. 37 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:25,837 I MADE A MISTAKE. 38 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,372 THE BET'S ON THE TABLE. 39 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:30,876 I MADE A MISTAKE. I CAN'T AFFORD THIS MUCH. 40 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,878 I'M SORRY, SIR. HOUSE RULES. 41 00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,880 THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO. 42 00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,152 HIT ME. 43 00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,223 19. DEALER COULD HAVE 20. 44 00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,826 WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER CARD, SIR? 45 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:50,262 UH... YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS, 46 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,330 BUT MY KID, YOU KNOW... 47 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,734 HE CAN'T TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF. 48 00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,302 NOW THEY TELL ME 49 00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,848 HE HAS THIS KIDNEY THING. 50 00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:00,912 THE INSURANCE WON'T COVER IT 51 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:04,442 BECAUSE I HAD TROUBLE IN THE ARMY, IN NAM. 52 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,611 WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER CARD, SIR? 53 00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:13,285 GO AHEAD. 54 00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:17,823 YOU MAKE BLACKJACK ON THE NEXT CARD, 55 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:20,525 THE HOUSE PAYS 5 TO 1. 56 00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:23,094 IF HE GIVES ME A 2. 57 00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:25,664 100 SAYS IT IS. 58 00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:27,666 YOU GOT MORE TO LOSE? 59 00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:30,168 UH, WHAT THE HELL. 60 00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:34,306 DEAL ME A 2. 61 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,050 HEY. 62 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,184 HEY. 63 00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:48,019 HEH HEH HEH! 64 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,088 THERE. 65 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,389 WHOA, WHOA. 66 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:53,691 NO, THAT'S FOR YOUR BOYS OPERATION. 67 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,771 ARE YOU KIDDING I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE GAME. 68 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,495 NO. I CAN'T TAKE IT. 69 00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,831 NO. IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO. 70 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,474 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, DAN. 71 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:10,787 DON. 72 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,276 DON. 73 00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:15,213 LISTEN, DON. 74 00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:19,183 IT'S VERY KIND OF YOU, BUT I CANNOT ACCEPT IT. 75 00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:20,451 YOU KEEP THAT. 76 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,621 MY GUT SAYS YOU NEED THAT MORE THAN I. 77 00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:25,056 MY GUT NEVER LIES, 78 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:28,059 LIKE KNOWING THAT 2 WAS WAITING FOR YOU. 79 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,628 LET ME TELL YOU, 2'S MY LUCKY NUMBER. 80 00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:34,632 THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE COME IN TWOS, UNDERSTAND? 81 00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:38,703 THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE COMES IN TWOS. 82 00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:40,705 MAKE IT TWO DOUBLES. 83 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:44,709 LOOK, DON. 84 00:05:44,777 --> 00:05:47,778 I'M NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU. 85 00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:50,215 I'M NOT IN GREAT FINANCIAL SHAPE, 86 00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,651 BUT I CAN STILL CALL A FAVOR. 87 00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:56,788 I KNOW YOU NEED A WAD FOR YOUR MEDICAL EXPENSES, 88 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,189 SO HERE'S THE DEAL. 89 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:02,227 I GOT AN INSIDE LINE 90 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:06,231 ON A NO-RISK, TAX-FREE, LIMITED-PARTNERSHIP INVESTMENT 91 00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,867 GUARANTEED TO DOUBLE OUR MONEY. 92 00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,702 MINIMUM... 10 GRAND. 93 00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:14,139 YOU KEEP THAT CASH. WRITE ME A PERSONAL CHECK. 94 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:17,275 GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESS AND YOUR PHONE NUMBER. 95 00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:20,712 INSIDE TWO WEEKS, WE'RE SITTING PRETTY. 96 00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,714 YOUR BOY GETS HIS OPERATION. 97 00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:25,217 FRIENDS DOING EACH OTHER A FAVOR. 98 00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:26,984 WHAT DO YOU SAY, DAN? 99 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,420 DON. 100 00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:34,159 AND HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, SIR? 101 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:37,795 HUNDREDS WILL BE JUST FINE. 102 00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:44,802 ALWAYS A PLEASURE, JIMMY. 103 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,473 DON'T MENTION IT, SLICK. 104 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:53,878 I GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS SHIT HOLE. 105 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:57,082 I'M SORRY TIRED OF DODGING FEDS. 106 00:06:57,150 --> 00:07:00,352 SWEET-TALKING OLD LADIES 107 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,460 OUT OF THEIR RAINY-DAY CASH. 108 00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:07,058 ONE OF THESE DAYS. 109 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:10,261 ONE OF THESE DAYS, I'M GOING TO SETTLE DOWN. 110 00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:13,031 I'M GOING TO MAKE THAT BIG CON. 111 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,300 WHO KNOWS... 112 00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,269 MAYBE I'LL EVEN GET MARRIED. 113 00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:22,674 DID YOU PAY ME TO FUCK OR LISTEN TO YOUR LIFE STORY? 114 00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:25,610 SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! 115 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:29,481 I PAY YOU TO BE, WHAT EVER. 116 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,557 I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I SAW THAT PICTURE 117 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,125 THE PARENT TRAP WITH HAYLEY MILLS. 118 00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:46,130 I USED TO POP A WOODY EVERY TIME I SAW THOSE TWO DO A SCENE. 119 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:52,270 I ALWAYS WANTED TO MAKE IT WITH TWINS. 120 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:58,442 ♪ CATERINA ♪ 121 00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:00,178 ♪ OH HO HO ♪ 122 00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:01,680 ♪ OH HO HO ♪ 123 00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:04,983 ♪ WHEN WE KISS, PRETTY MISS, PRETTY MISS ♪ 124 00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:07,118 ♪ I'M IN ECSTASY ♪ 125 00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:09,020 ♪ SI, SI, SI, SI ♪ 126 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:12,290 ♪ OH, HOW HAPPY MY LIFE WOULD BE ♪ 127 00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:15,693 ♪ IF I KNEW THAT YOU LOVED JUST ME ♪ 128 00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,462 ♪ SAY IT'S TRUE ♪ 129 00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:19,464 ♪ SAY YOU DO ♪ 130 00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:22,700 ♪ CATERINA ♪♪ 131 00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,684 SON OF A BITCH! 132 00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:50,228 TALK ABOUT A WARM WELCOME. 133 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:20,992 WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS PIECE OF SHIT. 134 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,679 COME IN. 135 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,749 THANK YOU. DON'T MIND IF I DO. 136 00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:48,386 HELLO? 137 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:12,276 "ETCHYSON DOBBS BLAIR." 138 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,747 WHAT A GOOFY LOOKING FUCK HE WAS. 139 00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:17,649 DON'T MOVE! 140 00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:21,653 UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR BRAINS ALL OVER DADDY'S PICTURE. 141 00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:24,656 HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE ANYWAYS? 142 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,157 TAKE IT EASY, O.K.? 143 00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,592 I JUST HAD A LITTLE ACCIDENT. 144 00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:31,429 I JUST WANT TO MAKE A PHONE CALL. 145 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:32,563 I PROMISE. 146 00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:44,509 I'M APRIL. 147 00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,144 THAT'S JUNE. 148 00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,690 WHAT HAPPENED TO MAY? 149 00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:50,115 EXCUSE ME. 150 00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:53,251 PARDON MY ATTEMPT AT A LITTLE LEVITY. 151 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,564 I'LL JUST USE THE TELEPHONE, O.K.? 152 00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:56,821 DON'T DO NOTHING. 153 00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:58,390 THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 154 00:10:58,458 --> 00:10:59,491 SEE? 155 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,559 I JUST WANT TO USE THE PHONE. 156 00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:04,273 YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HOME. 157 00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:07,832 NEXT TO THE CASE OBSERVATORY UP IN OAK VALLEY, 158 00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:10,379 I THINK THAT THIS HOUSE MIGHT BE BLAIR'S 159 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,114 GREATEST ARCHITECTURAL ACHIEVEMENT. 160 00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,839 GERMAN EXPRESSION EASTERN INFLUENCE, 161 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:17,642 50'S FUTURISM. 162 00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:19,988 YOU KNEW WHO OUR FATHER WAS? YOU KNEW WHO OUR FATHER WAS? 163 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:23,047 ARE YOU KIDDING? THE MAN WAS A GENIUS. 164 00:11:23,115 --> 00:11:26,050 IF YOU LOOK AT WHO'S WHO IN ARCHITECTURE, 165 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,985 YOUR FATHER'S THE ONLY LISTING. 166 00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:29,420 I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY 167 00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:32,490 WHO TOOK THE INFLUENCE OF THE BAUHAUS SCHOOL 168 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:35,960 AND ADAPTED IT BETTER TO HIS OWN UNIQUE STYLE. 169 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,295 THE GUY WAS UNBELIEVABLE. 170 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,597 I NEED A TOW TRUCK. 171 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,766 DO THAT LATER. 172 00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:43,679 YOU'VE BEEN IN AN ACCIDENT. 173 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,203 WELL, IT WASN'T A SERIOUS ACCIDENT. 174 00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:47,739 WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN? 175 00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:48,740 I'M APRIL. 176 00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:50,207 A PLEASURE. AND YOU? 177 00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:51,476 JUNE. 178 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,912 VERY NICE TO SEE YOU. 179 00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,846 WE DON'T HAVE MANY VISITORS. 180 00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:58,983 REALLY? GIRLS AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU TWO? 181 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,419 I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE. 182 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:04,300 THE OCCASIONAL ARCHITECTURAL JOURNAL, BUT... 183 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,257 MOST PEOPLE THINK WE'RE NAIVE. 184 00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:09,126 THEY'D LOVE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF US. 185 00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:12,155 YOU DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE WORTH 2 BILLION? 186 00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:18,169 SO THERE I WAS AT SOTHERBY'S. 187 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,304 WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND, PRESTON CHATFIELD. 188 00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:21,839 THE HYANNIS PORT, CHATFIELDS. 189 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:27,278 AND I WAS READY TO MAKE A BID ON THIS EXQUISITE LAMP. 190 00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:32,016 AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I NOTICED A TINIEST SCRATCH ON THE FINISH. 191 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:35,519 I SAID, OH, MY CAT DID THAT TWO YEARS AGO. 192 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,588 THAT LAMP USED TO BE IN MY COLLECTION. 193 00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:38,589 COULD YOU IMAGINE. 194 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,358 DO YOU LIKE CATS? 195 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:41,692 DO I LIKE CATS? 196 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:45,696 SOMETIMES I TRUST CATS MORE THAN I DO PEOPLE. 197 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:53,983 SOMEBODY CALL FOR A TOE TRUCK? 198 00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:56,741 I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO LAST. 199 00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:02,213 WELL, LADIES THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR HOSPITALITY. 200 00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:07,418 I HOPE I DIDN'T CAUSE TOO MUCH OF AN INCONVENIENCE. 201 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:10,821 I AM TRULY HUMBLED. 202 00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:12,171 MR. STETSON? 203 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,727 MY SISTER AND I... 204 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,428 IF YOU'D CARE TO COME BY AGAIN. 205 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,300 I FIGURED I MUST OF DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN. 206 00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:25,769 AT FIRST I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHY A COUPLE RICH BABES LIKE THAT 207 00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:27,138 HOLED UP LIKE HERMITS? 208 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:31,775 HEY, WHEN FISH COME TO YOU ALREADY IN A BARREL, 209 00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:34,312 A GUY CAN'T COMPLAIN TOO MUCH. 210 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,748 SO, I WENT TO WORK. 211 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:44,288 ♪ EVERYBODY LOVES SOMEBODY SOMETIME ♪ 212 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:50,194 ♪ EVERYBODY FALLS IN LOVE SOMEHOW ♪ 213 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:55,900 ♪ SOMETHING IN YOUR KISS JUST TOLD ME ♪ 214 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,401 ♪ MY SOMETIME... ♪ 215 00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:01,906 AND SLOWLY BUT SURELY, 216 00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:06,343 THEY STARTED TO COME OUT OF THE SHELLS THEY WERE IN. 217 00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:08,345 ICEBERGS STARTING TO THAW OUT. 218 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:14,151 ♪ THERE'S NO TELLING WHERE LOVE MAY APPEAR ♪ 219 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:19,791 ♪ SOMETHING IN MY HEART KEEPS SAYING... ♪♪ 220 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:23,527 I WAS REELING THEM IN, ALL RIGHT. 221 00:14:23,597 --> 00:14:25,930 ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING? 222 00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:29,300 I ONLY WISH THERE WERE TWO OF HIM. 223 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:32,937 THEN THE DAY CAME I HAD TO MAKE MY MOVE. 224 00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,873 I HAD TO GET EACH OF THEM ALONE. 225 00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:38,042 AND WHEN I DID, 226 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,244 THAT'S WHEN THINGS GOT REAL INTERESTING. 227 00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:50,955 YOU SEE, DADDY DESIGNED BOTH BEDROOMS EXACTLY ALIKE... 228 00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:53,758 LIKE TWO SIDES OF A MIRROR. 229 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:56,460 KIND OF LIKE ME AND JUNE. 230 00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:57,562 OH, YEAH? 231 00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:58,963 MM-HMM. 232 00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,631 WHERE IS JUNE ANYWAY? 233 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,567 APRIL? OH, SHE WENT OUT. 234 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:07,004 HASN'T BEEN OUT OF THE HOUSE IN MONTHS. 235 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,472 JUNE'S ALWAYS BEEN 236 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,475 A LITTLE MORE OUTGOING THAN ME, ANYWAY. 237 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:14,979 WE NEVER NEEDED TO GO OUT BEFORE DADDY DIED. 238 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,981 WE FOUGHT OVER HIM CONSTANTLY, 239 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:19,550 BUT NOW WE HAVE EACH OTHER. 240 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:22,486 YOU TWO ARE PRETTY CLOSE, AREN'T YOU? 241 00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:24,488 INSEPARABLE. 242 00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:26,824 UNTIL NOW. 243 00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:28,492 SHE SEEMS SWEET. 244 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:31,495 OH, SHE IS... UNLESS YOU CROSS HER. 245 00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:32,564 COME AGAIN? 246 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,098 WELL, I MEAN, 247 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:37,101 EVERYONE HAS A DARK SIDE, DON'T THEY? 248 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,070 THE SIDE YOU DON'T SEE. 249 00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:40,983 SHE'S GOT A TEMPER, HUH? 250 00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:42,773 ALMOST LIKE A SPLIT PERSONALITY. 251 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:47,245 I CAN'T SEE YOUR SISTER OR YOU HURTING A FLY. 252 00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:48,713 YOU DON'T KNOW. 253 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,783 LOOK, I WOULD NEVER SAY THIS TO HER, 254 00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:55,286 SO IT'S GOT TO BE OUR LITTLE SECRET, O.K.? 255 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,955 MY SISTER AND I DON'T HAVE SECRETS. 256 00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:01,625 WE SHARE EVERYTHING... 50-50. 257 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,195 BUT THIS MIGHT HURT HER FEELINGS. 258 00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:06,964 YOU DON'T WANT THAT, DO YOU? 259 00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:12,536 SEE, I'M AFRAID YOU TWO AIN'T EXACTLY IDENTICAL. 260 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,772 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 261 00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:17,520 ONE OF YOU IS A LITTLE MORE BEAUTIFUL 262 00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,610 THAN THE OTHER. 263 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,550 NO OFFENSE, BUT FOR A COUPLE OF WALLFLOWERS 264 00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,419 WHO DON'T GET OUT MUCH, 265 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:31,855 THESE TWO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A NUN. 266 00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:39,330 I GOT THEM IN THE PALM OF MY HAND. 267 00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:43,233 EITHER ONE WOULD MARRY ME IN A NEW YORK MINUTE. 268 00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:46,871 ALL I GOT TO DO IS POP THE QUESTION. 269 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:50,441 BUT THAT ONLY GETS ME HALF THE FORTUNE. 270 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:54,578 THEY BOTH GOT EQUAL SAY IN EVERY CENT... 271 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:57,581 50-50. 272 00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:03,587 THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET IT ALL IS IF I MARRY BOTH OF THEM. 273 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,088 PPFFT. 274 00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:10,093 AND THE ONLY WAY I COULD DO THAT... 275 00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:12,095 HUH... 276 00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:16,600 IS IF THERE WERE... 277 00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,702 TWO OF ME! 278 00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,115 TWIN BROTHER? TWIN BROTHER? 279 00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:24,541 I WAS EMBARRASSED TO BRING IT UP TILL NOW. 280 00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:26,077 WHAT'S HIS NAME? 281 00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,879 HIS NAME IS JACK. HE'S IN SOUTH AFRICA. 282 00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,559 WE HAVE HOLDINGS THERE. 283 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:35,019 BUSINESS DEMANDS THAT ONE OF US STAY THERE AT ALL TIMES. 284 00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,132 HE STAYS THERE A MONTH. 285 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:39,123 I SPOT HIM THE NEXT. 286 00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,192 THIS MEANS... 287 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,191 YOU'RE LEAVING? 288 00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:42,660 I'M AFRAID SO. 289 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,161 IT'S ONLY FOR A MONTH. 290 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:47,398 MY BROTHER WILL BE HOME IN A FEW DAYS. 291 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:48,477 I TOLD HIM ABOUT YOU TWO. 292 00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:51,101 MAYBE HE COULD DROP BY FOR A LITTLE VISIT? 293 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:55,606 BUT, I MUST WARN YOU, HE'S MORE OUT GOING THAN I AM. 294 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,152 HE'S NOT AS EDUCATED OR WELL SPOKEN. 295 00:17:57,176 --> 00:18:00,377 YOU KNOW HE TALKS THAT CALIFORNIA JARGON. 296 00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:02,245 AND HE'S VERY FLAMBOYANT. 297 00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:11,188 WHOA, LADIES. 298 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:14,558 VIC TOLD ME YOU WERE RADICAL BABES, 299 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,060 BUT I MUST CONFESS 300 00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:19,330 TO BEING TOTALLY STOKED AND OVERWHELMED, YOU DIG? 301 00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:20,831 HEE HEE! HEE HEE! 302 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,734 HA HA HA! 303 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:26,670 ♪ I'M TOO SEXY FOR MILAN ♪ 304 00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:29,172 ♪ TOO SEXY FOR MILAN ♪ 305 00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:31,174 DO YOU, APRIL DOBBS BLAIR, 306 00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:34,177 TAKE THIS MAN TO HAVE AND TO HOLD 307 00:18:34,246 --> 00:18:36,179 IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH 308 00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:39,182 AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE? 309 00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:40,684 I DO. 310 00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:48,191 DO YOU, JUNE ETCHYSON BLAIR, 311 00:18:48,260 --> 00:18:51,194 TAKE THIS MAN TO HONOR AND CHERISH 312 00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:53,196 IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH 313 00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:56,199 AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE? 314 00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:57,701 I DO. 315 00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:00,203 BY THE POWERS VESTED IN ME, 316 00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:03,074 I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE. 317 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:06,210 BINGO. 318 00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:35,672 HO! HEY! SHUT THAT! 319 00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:37,152 CHARLIE CHAN, EXCUSE ME. 320 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,277 I DON'T MEAN TO INTRUDE, 321 00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:43,013 BUT I'D LIKE TO CATCH A FEW ZZZS. 322 00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:47,985 DO YOU MIND? GO PLAY SOMEPLACE ELSE, O.K.? 323 00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,486 CHARMING. 324 00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,925 SEE? NICE AND QUIET, CALM, SERENE. 325 00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,694 IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 326 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,929 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 327 00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:00,364 HA HA HA! 328 00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:07,704 LIFE'S A BITCH, AIN'T IT, WONG? 329 00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:14,812 ♪ APRIL LOVE IS FOR THE VERY YOUNG ♪♪ 330 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,200 ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING? 331 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:20,217 THAT WE CAN PUT THE PAST BEHIND US? 332 00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:22,131 WE DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. 333 00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:25,522 DADDY WOULD HAVE WANTED IT THIS WAY. 334 00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:27,858 I WISH BOTH OUR HUSBANDS 335 00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:30,861 COULD BE WITH US AT THE SAME TIME. 336 00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:34,765 WE COULD ALWAYS SHARE. 337 00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:54,518 DARLING, WHY CAN'T I COME WITH YOU TO SOUTH AFRICA? 338 00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:57,988 I TOLD YOU IT'S HOT, IT'S STICKY, YOU'D HATE IT. 339 00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:02,793 WHEN'S YOUR BROTHER COMING BACK ANYWAYS? 340 00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:05,596 JUNE MISSES HIM SO MUCH, SHE'S BESIDE HERSELF. 341 00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:09,300 TOMORROW NIGHT. WHY IS THIS DRAWER ALWAYS LOCKED? 342 00:21:09,368 --> 00:21:11,669 WHAT THE HELL'S IN IT, ANYWAY? 343 00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:13,604 WHERE'S MY SHIRT? 344 00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:17,107 OH. THANK YOU. 345 00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:20,544 HONEY. 346 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,045 WHAT? 347 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,614 YOUR BACK. 348 00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:26,683 OH, YEAH, YEAH. I GOT A LITTLE SUNBURN. 349 00:21:26,752 --> 00:21:29,686 SUN'S A LOT HOTTER IN SOUTH AFRICA. 350 00:21:29,755 --> 00:21:32,490 I'LL TELL YOU, THE MAN IS AN ANIMAL. 351 00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:36,560 LAST NIGHT, HE TIED ME TO THE BED WHEN WE... 352 00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:37,628 YOU KNOW. 353 00:21:37,696 --> 00:21:40,630 AND IT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME EITHER. 354 00:21:40,699 --> 00:21:41,932 YOU'RE KIDDING. 355 00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:44,434 VIC DOES THAT TO ME, TOO. 356 00:21:44,503 --> 00:21:45,936 NO! 357 00:21:47,606 --> 00:21:50,474 THEY'RE ALIKE IN ALL SORTS OF WAYS. 358 00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:53,510 WHEN JACK TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT FOR BED, 359 00:21:53,579 --> 00:21:55,512 HIS BACK WAS ALL TANNED 360 00:21:55,581 --> 00:21:59,216 EXCEPT FOR THIS LITTLE PALE STRIP. 361 00:21:59,285 --> 00:22:00,651 YOU'RE KIDDING. 362 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,520 JUST BEFORE VIC LEFT FOR SOUTH AFRICA, 363 00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:05,155 HE SUNBURNED HIS BACK. 364 00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:06,823 HE HAD THE SAME... 365 00:22:08,126 --> 00:22:09,960 THING. 366 00:22:55,474 --> 00:22:57,908 ♪ I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY HAIR ♪ 367 00:22:57,977 --> 00:22:59,710 ♪ TOO SEXY FOR THIS EARRING ♪ 368 00:22:59,779 --> 00:23:00,877 ♪ TOO SEXY ♪ 369 00:23:00,946 --> 00:23:03,680 ♪ I'M TOO SEXY FOR THIS HOUSE ♪ 370 00:23:03,749 --> 00:23:04,881 ♪ TOO SEXY... ♪♪ 371 00:23:04,950 --> 00:23:06,150 HEY, HONEY! 372 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:09,286 YOU TWO BITCHING BABES BETTER BE GETTING DRESSED! 373 00:23:09,355 --> 00:23:13,723 I'M TAKING YOU OUT FOR THE MOST AWESOME FEAST EVER! 374 00:23:44,957 --> 00:23:46,556 GET THE FUCK OUT. 375 00:23:48,661 --> 00:23:49,937 "TWINS ACQUITTED OF FATHER'S DEATH 376 00:23:49,961 --> 00:23:51,628 BY JUVENILE COURT." 377 00:23:51,697 --> 00:23:54,865 YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING! 378 00:24:05,244 --> 00:24:06,176 HEY. 379 00:24:06,245 --> 00:24:07,577 WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? 380 00:24:07,646 --> 00:24:08,678 WHAT'S GOING ON? 381 00:24:08,747 --> 00:24:10,714 HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 382 00:24:10,782 --> 00:24:12,282 WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING? 383 00:24:12,351 --> 00:24:14,651 LET ME GO. LET ME GO. 384 00:24:16,489 --> 00:24:18,388 HELLO, DARLING. HELLO, DARLING. 385 00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:20,757 O.K., SO I LOVED YOU BOTH. 386 00:24:20,826 --> 00:24:23,026 WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? 387 00:24:23,095 --> 00:24:25,061 DIDN'T I MAKE YOU HAPPY? 388 00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:26,796 DIDN'T I MAKE YOU HAPPY? 389 00:24:26,865 --> 00:24:29,399 I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FATHER. 390 00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:31,935 I'M NOT SAYING YOU DID ANYTHING. 391 00:24:32,004 --> 00:24:34,337 EVEN IF YOU DID, WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DIFFERENCE? 392 00:24:34,406 --> 00:24:35,806 WHAT DO I CARE? 393 00:24:35,875 --> 00:24:39,109 GIRLS, YOU WERE FRIVOLOUS LITTLE KIDS. 394 00:24:39,177 --> 00:24:42,646 WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT YOU DID? 395 00:24:42,715 --> 00:24:44,281 WE DID DO IT. 396 00:24:44,350 --> 00:24:46,450 WE SHARED EVERYTHING. 397 00:24:46,519 --> 00:24:49,386 WE DIDN'T WANT TO SHARE HIM ANYMORE. 398 00:24:49,455 --> 00:24:51,255 IT WAS TOO HARD. 399 00:24:51,324 --> 00:24:52,935 WE WERE TOO SELFISH. 400 00:24:52,959 --> 00:24:55,526 LIKE NOW. 401 00:24:55,595 --> 00:24:58,028 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 402 00:24:58,097 --> 00:24:59,463 WHERE'S SHE GOING? 403 00:24:59,532 --> 00:25:02,499 WHERE'S SHE GOING? HEY! HEY! 404 00:25:02,568 --> 00:25:03,600 WHAT'S SHE DOING? 405 00:25:03,669 --> 00:25:05,509 I'M GOING TO LET HER DO THE HONORS. 406 00:25:05,571 --> 00:25:06,604 WHAT HONORS? 407 00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:09,273 SHE WAS ALWAYS THE MORE OUTGOING ONE, 408 00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:10,974 RIGHT, JACK? 409 00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:20,450 HEY! 410 00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:22,986 HEY! 411 00:25:23,055 --> 00:25:25,055 SCREWBALLS! 412 00:25:25,123 --> 00:25:26,322 I DIDN'T MEAN THAT. 413 00:25:26,391 --> 00:25:28,792 I DIDN'T MEAN THAT. COME ON. 414 00:25:28,860 --> 00:25:31,227 GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT! 415 00:25:31,297 --> 00:25:33,097 ARE YOU CRAZY? 416 00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:45,796 ♪ AH, THE BUZZARD TOOK A MONKEY ♪ 417 00:25:45,845 --> 00:25:47,411 ♪ FOR A RIDE IN THE AIR ♪ 418 00:25:47,479 --> 00:25:49,379 IT'S ALL RIGHT NOW, HONEY. 419 00:25:49,448 --> 00:25:50,881 IT'S ALL RIGHT. 420 00:25:50,950 --> 00:25:52,528 ♪ THE BUZZARD TRIED TO THROW THE MONKEY ♪ 421 00:25:52,552 --> 00:25:53,918 ♪ OFF HIS BACK ♪ 422 00:25:53,986 --> 00:25:57,387 ♪ THE MONKEY GRABBED HIS NECK AND SAID, "NOW, LISTEN, JACK" ♪ 423 00:25:57,456 --> 00:26:00,490 ♪ "STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT" ♪ 424 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,894 EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT FROM NOW ON. 425 00:26:03,963 --> 00:26:05,874 ♪ "STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT" ♪ 426 00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:09,867 ♪ "OH, COOL DOWN, PAPA, DON'T YOU BLOW YOUR TOP" ♪♪ 427 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:34,825 I GUESS, VINO VIC, THOUGHT HE COULD DOUBLE HIS FUN AND HIS BANK ACCOUNT. 428 00:26:34,894 --> 00:26:37,227 TO BAD HE WAS ONLY HALF RIGHT. 429 00:26:37,296 --> 00:26:41,231 OH WELL, IT JUST PROVES THE OLD SAYING. 430 00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:43,733 BEHIND EVERY BAD MAN 431 00:26:43,803 --> 00:26:45,936 THERE'S TWO WOMAN 432 00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:47,771 WITH A CHAIN SAW! 433 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,073 HA HA HA HA HA! 434 00:26:52,011 --> 00:26:56,346 SO, KIDDIES, CARE FOR A LITTLE MAIM OF CHANCE? 435 00:26:56,415 --> 00:27:00,350 DEADS, I WIN, TAILS, YOU OOZE! 436 00:27:00,419 --> 00:27:02,853 AH HA HA HA! 437 00:27:05,224 --> 00:27:08,258 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. 438 00:27:09,862 --> 00:27:12,863 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE... www.ncicap.org... 439 00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:19,238 PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT 440 00:27:19,262 --> 00:27:20,982 PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE 30393

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