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1
00:00:01,134 --> 00:00:03,769
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
2
00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:17,775
AH HA HA HA!
3
00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:23,182
YOU SWEAR TO ME, DOC.
4
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:26,285
IT'S JUST LIKE THAT
NIGHTMARE I TOLD YOU ABOUT.
5
00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:29,821
THE ONE I KEEP HAVING
WHEN I'M PETTING BAMBI.
6
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,323
YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME, DOC.
7
00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,892
I'M LOSING MY MIND.
8
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,828
I CAN'T SEEM TO
TAKE A JOKE ANYMORE!
9
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:38,897
I MEAN, A CHOKE.
10
00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:42,000
I MEAN... IT'S LIKE THE
MAN IN TONIGHT'S TALE.
11
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:44,336
HE'S A HEAD SHRINKER
WHO'S ABOUT TO UNDERGO
12
00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:47,705
A LITTLE FINAL
ANALYSIS OF HIS OWN
13
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,374
IN A PARANOID PARABLE
14
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:53,778
I CALL THE NEW ARRIVAL.
15
00:01:53,847 --> 00:02:00,052
DON'T FORGET TOMORROW OUR
SUBJECT IS SEX WITH THE SUPERNATURAL.
16
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:04,389
IS IT POSSIBLE? IS IT CHEATING?
17
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:05,824
HAVE YOU HAD IT?
18
00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:07,325
AND MOST IMPORTANT, HONEY,
19
00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:10,896
DID THE SPIRIT MOVE YA?
20
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:15,901
CALL IN TOMORROW AND TELL
US RIGHT HERE ON TALK RADIO 99.
21
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:20,906
UNTIL THEN, LOTHAR LOVES YOU.
22
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:26,611
DOES YOUR MOTHER
KNOW YOU TALK THAT WAY?
23
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,913
I DON'T KNOW,
24
00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:30,849
BUT THE FOLKS AT
ARBITRON SURE DO.
25
00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:35,620
YOU SEEN MY RATINGS THAT
JUST CAME OUT IN THAT BOOK?
26
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,655
I'M UP 60%.
27
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:40,124
NO ACCOUNTING FOR TASTE.
28
00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:43,194
YOU KNOW, GOETZ,
I HEARD A RUMOR.
29
00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:45,942
THEY'RE GOING TO
GIVE ME YOUR TIME SLOT.
30
00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:47,298
OVER MY DEAD BODY.
31
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,735
THAT WORKS FOR ME, DADDY-O.
32
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,803
EXCUSE ME.
33
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:54,206
THIS TUESDAY, GET OUT AND VOTE.
34
00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:57,342
THE U.S. SENATOR
IN THE FIFTH DISTRICT
35
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,511
IS RUNNING AGAIN THIS YEAR.
36
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,946
DON'T LET HIM RATTLE YOU, ALAN.
37
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,517
I WANT YOU TO CONCENTRATE
ON YOUR SHOW, O.K.?
38
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:06,884
YOU'LL BE GREAT TODAY.
39
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:10,021
BONNIE, DO ME A
FAVOR... SHUT UP.
40
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:12,590
YOU'RE MY PRODUCER,
NOT MY MOTHER.
41
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:15,927
RIGHT. I'M SORRY.
42
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,434
IT'S 10:05 AND TIME
FOR GOOD PSYCHOLOGY
43
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:25,436
WITH AWARD-WINNING
CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST
44
00:03:25,505 --> 00:03:26,938
DR. ALAN GOETZ,
45
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:28,806
AUTHOR OF THE BEST-SELLING
46
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,576
THE ART OF IGNORING YOUR CHILD.
47
00:03:31,644 --> 00:03:33,578
DR. GOETZ, OUR FIRST CALLER
48
00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:36,081
IS A MOTHER FROM GLENBURY.
49
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,150
WHERE DO I GET
50
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,685
MY 3-YEAR-OLD'S
HORMONES INVESTIGATED?
51
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,520
EVERY TIME I LOOK, SHE'S M-M...
52
00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:43,956
AH, SHE'S MASTURBATING.
53
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,623
NOW, LISTEN TO ME.
54
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,125
CHILDREN RUB THEIR GENITALS
55
00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:49,527
FOR THE PLEASURE IT GIVES THEM.
56
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:52,965
PROBABLY YOU DO, TOO.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT.
57
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,466
IGNORE IT, IGNORE IT.
58
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:55,968
THANKS FOR THE CALL.
59
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:57,602
NEXT, BONNIE.
60
00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:00,516
IT'S OUR FRIEND FROM
LAWNDALE, DR. GOETZ.
61
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:01,974
NORA?
62
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,575
HELLO, DR. GOETZ.
63
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:07,045
HI. IT'S WHAT, FOUR DAYS
SINCE YOU LAST CALLED?
64
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,981
HOW'S LITTLE FELICITY
GETTING ALONG?
65
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,482
BURNING THE HOUSE DOWN?
66
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:11,984
NOT AT ALL.
67
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:14,486
WRITING ON THE WALL WITH FECES?
68
00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:15,988
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
69
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:18,056
TRYING TO ELECTROCUTE THE CAT?
70
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:20,792
SHE'S BANGING HER
HEAD AGAINST THE WALL.
71
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:24,363
I TRIED REASONING WITH
HER, BUT THAT NEVER WORKS.
72
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:28,133
THEN I THREATENED TO
TAKE AWAY HER FAVORITE TOY.
73
00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:31,769
SHE JUST STARTED SCREAMING
AND BANGING HER HEAD AGAIN.
74
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,771
GET OUT OF MY CHAIR.
75
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,007
DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF, NORA?
76
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,509
EVERY TIME, IT'S
THE SAME THING...
77
00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:40,011
FELICITY DID THIS...
78
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,824
NICE SHOES, RONA. SNAKE?
79
00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:43,714
YOU'RE LOADS OF
LAUGHS, LUTZMEYER.
80
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,784
YOU SHOULD GET A
JOB ON THE RADIO.
81
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,720
YOU'LL NEED ONE AFTER TODAY.
82
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,399
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
83
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:52,724
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE PROBABLY...
84
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,394
OH, NOW, NOW DON'T GET TO UPSET.
85
00:04:57,697 --> 00:05:01,333
YOU'LL HAVE LOTS OF COMPANY
IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE.
86
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:05,002
RONA YOU CAN'T DO THAT,
WE HAVE A CONTRACT.
87
00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:08,039
WHAT YOU WANT
TO SUE US GO AHEAD.
88
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:10,041
SUE US.
89
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:13,879
AS OF TOMORROW, THIS
SPOT BELONGS TO LOTHAR.
90
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:16,380
DR. GOETZ? HELLO? ARE YOU THERE?
91
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:19,584
OH, UH, YEAH. SORRY. WHAT?
92
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,586
BUT PEOPLE COUNT ON ALAN!
93
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,387
THEY NEED HIM!
94
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:25,857
OH, COME ON! NOBODY NEEDS ALAN.
95
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:28,593
AFTER THE RATINGS WE GOT TODAY,
96
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:29,827
WE DON'T NEED HIM, EITHER.
97
00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:34,465
I THOUGHT THAT IF YOU
COULD COME OUT AND SEE HER...
98
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:36,534
WHY SHOULD I SEE HER?
99
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:38,670
I'VE GOT ENOUGH PROBLEMS.
100
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,705
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
101
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,207
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
102
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,909
LADY, ARE YOU AWARE
103
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:47,845
THAT YOU'RE THE EPITOME
OF THE INEPT PARENT
104
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,214
AND THAT YOUR FELICITY
105
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,215
IS THE ULTIMATE PROBLEM CHILD?
106
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:53,584
DOES THAT MEAN
YOU'RE NOT COMING?
107
00:05:53,653 --> 00:05:55,186
OH, ON THE CONTRARY.
108
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:57,689
I'M GOING TO ORIGINATE
GOOD PSYCHOLOGY
109
00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,391
FROM YOUR HOME EVERY DAY
110
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:01,893
UNTIL LITTLE FELICITY
111
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,995
IS A FULLY
FUNCTIONING LITTLE GIRL!
112
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,964
WE'RE MAKING A HOUSE CALL!
113
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,233
YOU CAN'T DO THAT, GOETZ!
114
00:06:08,302 --> 00:06:11,670
GOOD PSYCHOLOGY BEATS
BAD BEHAVIOR EVERY TIME!
115
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,550
YOU'RE OUT OF YOU DEPTHS, GOETZ.
116
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:29,554
THIS LADY NEEDS A SWAT TEAM
NOT AN ARMCHAIR RADIO SHRINK.
117
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:32,624
I'M NOT AN ARMCHAIR SHRINK!
118
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,729
DO YOU THINK A KID
DID ALL THIS DAMAGE?
119
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,331
EITHER THAT OR
COLONEL QADDAFI VISITED.
120
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,900
BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER.
121
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:45,737
THERE ISN'T A CHILD IN
EXISTENCE THAT I CAN'T HELP.
122
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:48,740
GOOD PSYCHOLOGY BEATS
BAD BEHAVIOR EVERY TIME.
123
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,854
IT BETTER BEAT ROTTEN RATINGS
124
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:52,288
BECAUSE MANAGEMENT ISN'T PLEASED
125
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:54,357
BEING HELD HOSTAGE LIKE THIS.
126
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,882
RONA, WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME?
127
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,950
I'D LIKE TO, EXCEPT
YOU CAN'T BE TRUSTED.
128
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,468
OH, SHIT, ANYONE GOT A PENCIL?
129
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:06,858
IT WON'T BITE YOU.
130
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,371
ALAN DOESN'T TRUST ELECTRICITY.
131
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:11,329
MAKES SENSE FOR SOMEONE
WHO WORKS ON RADIO.
132
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,398
OF ALL THE STUPID... AAH!
133
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,533
ALAN, GET OUT OF THE WAY!
134
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:39,357
DR. GOETZ, IT'S YOU!
135
00:07:39,425 --> 00:07:41,425
YOU'RE REALLY HERE.
136
00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:46,330
DID SHE GET A SHOCK
FROM THE BUZZER?
137
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:52,437
I WAS TINKERING WITH
IT A LITTLE WHILE AGO.
138
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:55,106
I'M A VERY GOOD TINKERER.
139
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,676
HOW GOOD A LAWYER ARE YOU?
140
00:07:57,744 --> 00:08:02,647
ARE YOU, UH, NORA?
141
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,516
THAT'S ME... FELICITY'S MOMMY.
142
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:07,585
AAH!
143
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,955
OH, HELL. SHE'S DOING IT AGAIN.
144
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,458
FELICITY?
145
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,059
AAH!
146
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,061
FELICITY, PLEASE STOP.
147
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,429
PLEASE STOP FOR MOMMY.
148
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,566
NOT IN FRONT OF
OUR GUESTS, DARLING.
149
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,668
AAH!
150
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:26,048
MOMMY HAS YOUR
FAVORITE BUBBLE GUM.
151
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:28,005
STOP! ARE YOU ROLLING?
152
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:29,641
CAPITULATION WITH A BRIBE
153
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:32,377
ALWAYS REINFORCES BAD BEHAVIOR.
154
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:34,812
IF I DON'T, SHE'LL HURT HERSELF.
155
00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:36,580
THE GUM ALWAYS WORKS.
156
00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:38,616
BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
157
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,051
NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
158
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,021
LISTEN TO THE THUDS...
159
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:45,456
HOW SHE'S PICKED
THE SOFTEST SPOT
160
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:48,459
THAT MAKES THE
BIGGEST AMOUNT OF NOISE,
161
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,462
THE MINIMUM AMOUNT OF PAIN,
162
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,465
BRINGING THE BIGGEST
AMOUNT OF ATTENTION.
163
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,635
NOW, REPEAT AFTER ME.
164
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:01,439
IGNORE IT, IGNORE IT, IGNORE IT.
165
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:06,611
IGNORE IT, IGNORE IT, IGNORE IT.
166
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:10,248
YOU SEE?
167
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:12,984
NOW SHE'S LEARNED THAT
YOU WON'T ALWAYS COME
168
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,186
WHEN SHE CALLS.
169
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,188
BONNIE, GIVE ME A BOOK.
170
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:24,329
NOW, ALL YOU HAVE
TO DO IS READ THIS.
171
00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:27,399
IN THE ART OF
IGNORING YOUR CHILD,
172
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:30,402
YOU'LL FIND EVERYTHING
YOU WANT TO KNOW.
173
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,437
I'LL EVEN SIGN IT FOR YOU.
174
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,107
I ALREADY HAVE IT.
175
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:38,710
MY GOD, SHE MUST HAVE
176
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:41,891
EVERY IMPORTANT CHILD
PSYCHOLOGY BOOK EVER WRITTEN.
177
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,215
MMM. SHE'S EVEN GOT
MAX SPITZMACHER'S
178
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,650
NO FAULT DISCIPLINE.
179
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,820
HE WAS VERY SMART,
BUT HE WAS WRONG.
180
00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:53,258
PLEASE. WHAT COULD YOU
POSSIBLY KNOW ABOUT IT?
181
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,692
I STUDIED WITH HIM.
182
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,695
HE WAS A GIANT IN THE FIELD.
183
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,998
WHO ARE YOU TO CRITICIZE HIM?
184
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:02,533
WELL, I'M A MOTHER,
185
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,969
AND IN MY OPINION,
186
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,404
MAX SPITZMACHER WAS
AN OVERRATED TEACHER
187
00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:11,108
WITH NO REAL EXPERIENCE
WITH PROBLEM CHILDREN.
188
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:15,046
DON'T TOUCH THAT!
189
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,748
SORRY. FRIENDS OF YOURS?
190
00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:21,285
THAT'S FELICITY'S DADDY
WITH HIS COMMANDING OFFICER.
191
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:25,056
HE'LL BE HOME FROM
THE WAR ANY DAY NOW.
192
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,361
THE WAR?
193
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:32,263
EXCUSE ME, BUT ISN'T
THAT COMMANDING OFFICER
194
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:33,832
GENERAL DOUGLAS MACARTHUR?
195
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,266
THAT'S RIGHT.
196
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,071
WORLD WAR II DOUGLAS MACARTHUR?
197
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,706
NORA...
198
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:45,576
YOU KNOW WHAT
WOULD BE VERY NICE?
199
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,645
A POT OF COFFEE.
200
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:50,893
DR. GOETZ WORKS A LOT
BETTER WHEN HE'S BUZZED.
201
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:53,584
ALL RIGHT.
202
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,087
BUT YOU ALL WAIT RIGHT HERE.
203
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:07,198
WELL... WHAT DO YOU THINK?
204
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:08,511
IT'S UNCHARTED TERRITORY.
205
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:11,147
WE COULD DO A WHOLE
SERIES FROM HERE.
206
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,582
THE RATINGS WOULD
GO THROUGH THE ROOF!
207
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,406
YOU'RE AS CRAZY AS SHE IS.
208
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,942
SHE COULDN'T POSSIBLY
HAVE A LITTLE KID.
209
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:21,779
WHAT'S UP THERE IS A 40-YEAR-OLD
REFUGEE FROM SOME INSTITUTION.
210
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:22,981
BETTER YET,
211
00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:26,150
A MILK-CARTON KID SHE
KIDNAPPED AT THE SAFEWAY.
212
00:11:26,218 --> 00:11:27,685
THIS EXPERIMENT IS OVER.
213
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:29,187
I'M CALLING THE COPS.
214
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:30,621
I DON'T NEED YOU
215
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,224
RUNNING AROUND
WITH HALF-BAKED IDEAS
216
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,171
ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!
217
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,627
AAH!
218
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:41,399
STILL THINK I'M HALF-BAKED?
219
00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:44,569
A LOOK AT THE KID
WOULDN'T BE A BAD IDEA.
220
00:12:23,876 --> 00:12:25,509
IN HERE.
221
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,579
I CAN FEEL THE CHILD'S PRESENCE.
222
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,548
GIVE ME A BREAK.
223
00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:32,350
OPEN THE DOOR.
224
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,196
EW.
225
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:56,740
GOD, IT SMELLS LIKE
GRAPE BUBBLE GUM.
226
00:12:58,344 --> 00:13:00,444
OH, GOD! IT'S ALL
OVER THE FLOORS.
227
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:03,515
FELICITY?
228
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:07,618
IT'S ON MY SHOES!
229
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:09,632
COME ON, THEY'RE ONLY SHOES!
230
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:13,057
THESE ARE MY ITALIAN SHOES!
231
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,560
FREAKIN' KIDS, I HATE KIDS!
232
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,796
RONA, PLEASE TRY AND CONTROL
YOUR MATERNAL INSTINCTS.
233
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,836
THE FAULTS ARE IGNORED.
234
00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:27,771
IT'S TYPICAL OF OLDER
MOTHERS, REALLY.
235
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,840
FELICITY?
236
00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:33,044
FELICITY, WHERE ARE YOU?
237
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:46,924
FELICITY!
238
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,238
FELICITY?
239
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,715
FELICITY?
240
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:38,309
FELICITY, WHERE ARE
YOU, YOU LITTLE BITCH?
241
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:42,680
AAH!
242
00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:44,548
AAH!
243
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,453
NO! NO!
244
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:53,524
THIS SITUATION DOESN'T SEEM
TO BE COVERED IN MY BOOK.
245
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,194
FELICITY!
246
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:00,165
AAH!
247
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,366
AN ELECTRIFIED DOOR KNOB, SHIT!
248
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,468
GOD, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
249
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:18,015
LOOK, THIS IS A BIG COUNTRY
250
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:21,386
THERE ARE LOTS AND
LOTS OF RADIO STATIONS.
251
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:24,655
RADIO STATIONS MUCH
BETTER THAN THIS.
252
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:25,724
WHAT DO YOU THINK, RONA?
253
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:28,559
RONA, WHERE IS SHE?
254
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,398
OH, THAT POOR CHILD.
255
00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,300
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
256
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,870
SO I DON'T GET ELECTROCUTED.
257
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,880
HOLY SHIT!
258
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,818
THE WOMAN'S CRAZIER
THAN I THOUGHT.
259
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,904
FELICITY, YOU'RE
A NAUGHTY CHILD.
260
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:36,360
DO YOU HEAR ME?
261
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,830
A NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY CHILD.
262
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:40,264
DON'T YOU GET IT?
263
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:44,468
WE'RE NOT DEALING
WITH A REAL CHILD.
264
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,904
WE'RE DEALING WITH
A FANTASY CHILD.
265
00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:49,407
YOU MEAN THIS
COLLECTION OF JUNK,
266
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:50,908
THIS IS FELICITY?
267
00:16:50,976 --> 00:16:53,478
SPITZMACHER AND I
ONCE WORKED ON A CASE
268
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,224
WHERE THE MOTHER
ACTUALLY DRESSED
269
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:57,448
IN THE IMAGINARY
CHILD'S CLOTHES.
270
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,851
NORA'S SMALL ENOUGH TO
FIT INTO A CHILD'S CLOTHING.
271
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,320
IT'S ENTIRELY POSSIBLE
272
00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:05,423
THAT SHE'S LIVING A
COMPLETE DOUBLE LIFE.
273
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:08,726
IT'S AMAZING. IT'S
SIMPLY AMAZING.
274
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:11,929
YES. A DELUSIONAL MATRIX
THAT'S TAKEN YEARS TO BUILD.
275
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:14,866
OUR AUDIENCE WILL
LOVE TAKING IT APART
276
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,433
DAY BY DAY.
277
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,135
FELICITY?
278
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,011
OH, MY GOD!
279
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,145
WHAT?
280
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,547
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
281
00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:33,318
RONA.
282
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,752
YOU'RE STILL SURE
283
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:38,356
ABOUT GOOD PSYCHOLOGY
BEATING BAD BEHAVIOR?
284
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:41,559
WE'LL DISCUSS THIS LATER.
285
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:42,868
LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
286
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:45,740
AAH! DAMN IT! LOCKED!
287
00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:48,165
LET ME OUT!
288
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,212
UNLOCK THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW,
289
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,714
YOU MISERABLE LITTLE MONSTER!
290
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:54,171
I CAN HEAR YOU OUT THERE!
291
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,651
NORA, OPEN THE DOOR!
292
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,235
OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!
293
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,778
ALAN, LOOK!
294
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:02,780
WHAT IS IT?
295
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,926
I WONDER WHAT'S UP THERE.
296
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:21,076
I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO UP.
297
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,000
JUST THINK OF THE RATINGS.
298
00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:24,268
SHUSH!
299
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,621
SHIT, WHAT THE
HELL DO WE DO NOW?
300
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:45,856
HA HA HA.
301
00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:53,698
NORA?
302
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:57,134
IS THAT YOU?
303
00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:58,769
CAREFUL, ALAN.
YOU MIGHT SPOOK...
304
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:01,138
WHO'S THE
PSYCHOLOGIST, ME OR YOU?
305
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:08,312
NORA...
306
00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:09,680
LET'S TALK.
307
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,431
I CAN HELP YOU, NORA.
308
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:17,988
YES, I CAN.
309
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:22,960
NORA!
310
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:24,562
DAMN!
311
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,997
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
KNOW ABOUT PEOPLE!
312
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:28,532
YOU KNOW NOTHING!
313
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:31,836
BONNIE, I SWEAR, WHEN
WE GET OUT OF HERE,
314
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:33,270
YOU'RE FIRED!
315
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:36,407
YOU WON'T HAVE
TO FIRE ME! I QUIT!
316
00:19:36,475 --> 00:19:38,515
I'M TIRED OF YOUR ARROGANCE!
317
00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:40,677
IT'S NOT MY ARROGANCE!
IT'S YOUR INCOMPETENCE!
318
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:41,746
HUH?
319
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:44,649
BONNIE.
320
00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:48,318
UP ABOVE YOU.
321
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:49,320
WHAT?
322
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,288
BONNIE. BONNIE, LOOK OUT!
323
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:52,623
AAH!
324
00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:12,042
DR. GOETZ.
325
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:17,929
YOU THIRSTY?
326
00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:25,121
I NEED TO HOLD THE MUG.
327
00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:27,123
COULD YOU UNTIE ME PLEASE?
328
00:20:27,192 --> 00:20:30,461
I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD
BE SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
329
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:33,597
I'M SORRY ABOUT
FELICITY'S BEHAVIOR.
330
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:36,233
I'M AT MY WITS END WITH HER.
331
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:40,270
NOW YOU SEE WHY I NEED HELP.
332
00:20:40,339 --> 00:20:42,606
NOW I THINK OF IT...
333
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:46,677
THERE IS A COLLEGE OF
MINE, IF I COULD JUST CALL HIM.
334
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:51,882
DR. GOETZ, YOU PROMISED YOU
COULD MAKE FELICITY BETTER.
335
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:55,185
GOOD PSYCHOLOGY BEATS
BAD BEHAVIOR, YOU SAID.
336
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:58,856
NOW LOOK HERE YOU SICK
BITCH IF YOU DON'T UNTIE ME NOW!
337
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,657
I'M GOING TO PINCH
YOUR FUCKING HEAD!
338
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,528
I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
339
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:08,198
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T,
YOU'VE HAD A ROUGH DAY.
340
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:11,167
SHOULD I BRING FELICITY UP
341
00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:13,448
AFTER ALL SHE IS THE PATIENT?
342
00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:16,139
AH, YES, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
343
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:20,411
LITTLE BIT OF LOVE
THERAPY IS IN ORDER.
344
00:21:20,479 --> 00:21:22,846
GOOD I'LL GO GET HER.
345
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,300
HI...
346
00:21:43,369 --> 00:21:46,170
FELICITY.
347
00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:49,573
YOUR MUMMY SAYS YOU
WANTED TO TALK TO ME.
348
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:53,010
SHE SAYS YOU HAVEN'T BEEN
FEELING VERY WELL LATELY.
349
00:21:53,079 --> 00:21:54,611
IS THAT TRUE?
350
00:21:56,415 --> 00:21:58,849
WELL, IF YOU'D COME OVER HERE,
351
00:21:58,918 --> 00:22:01,752
SIT ON MY LAP,
352
00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:05,256
I THINK MAYBE I COULD
HELP YOU FEEL BETTER.
353
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:08,058
I THINK I COULD.
354
00:22:08,126 --> 00:22:10,928
I'D LIKE TO HELP
YOU FEEL BETTER.
355
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:17,200
YOU KNOW, FELICITY,
356
00:22:17,269 --> 00:22:20,771
SOMETIMES PEOPLE WANT
US TO BE WHAT WE AREN'T,
357
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,273
AND THAT MAKES US VERY ANGRY,
358
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:26,276
BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO
BE LITTLE FELICITY WHITE.
359
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:29,279
I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
360
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:32,282
NOW, IF YOU WERE
TO UNTIE MY ARM,
361
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:34,785
I COULD GIVE YOU A HUG.
362
00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:41,859
THANK YOU.
363
00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:45,295
NOW, HERE'S YOUR LOVE THERAPY.
364
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:48,298
THE ONLY WAY TO
BEAT BAD BEHAVIOR
365
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,868
IS WITH WORSE
BEHAVIOR, EH, NORA?
366
00:22:50,936 --> 00:22:52,436
I KNOW IT'S YOU!
367
00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:53,704
DR. GOETZ!
368
00:22:55,341 --> 00:22:56,341
STOP IT!
369
00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:02,012
YOU OUGHT TO BE
ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!
370
00:23:04,449 --> 00:23:08,819
OH, COME TO MOMMY, DARLING.
371
00:23:10,455 --> 00:23:13,691
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING...
372
00:23:13,759 --> 00:23:15,759
I SPOIL HER TO DEATH,
373
00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:17,894
AND I SUPPOSE YOU'RE RIGHT.
374
00:23:17,963 --> 00:23:19,830
AMAZING, AIN'T SHE?
375
00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,765
BEEN DEAD 40 YEARS,
376
00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:25,336
AND SHE'S STILL BUSY AS A BEE.
377
00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:27,904
IT'S LOVE THAT KEEPS HER GOING,
378
00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:32,943
BUT IT'S LOVE THAT
HURTS HER, TOO.
379
00:23:33,011 --> 00:23:35,946
THAT'S WHY YOU CAME.
380
00:23:36,014 --> 00:23:38,849
THAT'S WHY THEY ALL CAME.
381
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:42,353
THEY?
382
00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:07,211
DR. SPITZMACHER.
383
00:24:10,616 --> 00:24:11,882
HE DIDN'T KNOW
384
00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:13,911
WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT.
385
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:15,385
NONE OF THEM DID.
386
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:17,054
NOT DR. LASILSKY,
387
00:24:17,122 --> 00:24:18,822
DR. KASSIR,
388
00:24:18,890 --> 00:24:20,891
DR. PASCALUMIER.
389
00:24:20,959 --> 00:24:24,295
BUT I HAVE FAITH
IN YOU, DR. GOETZ.
390
00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:26,863
I KNOW YOU CAN HELP US,
391
00:24:26,932 --> 00:24:28,892
ME AND MY LITTLE FELICITY.
392
00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:30,867
I GUESS YOU AND FELICITY
393
00:24:30,936 --> 00:24:32,481
SHOULD CONTINUE
GETTING ACQUAINTED,
394
00:24:32,505 --> 00:24:34,438
SO I'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE.
395
00:24:34,507 --> 00:24:36,907
I'LL JUST TURN THE RADIO ON.
396
00:24:44,983 --> 00:24:47,784
HER FAVORITE SHOW IS ON.
397
00:24:47,853 --> 00:24:50,487
TALK RADIO 99.
398
00:24:50,556 --> 00:24:52,556
IT'S 10:00.
399
00:25:01,834 --> 00:25:02,899
IGNORE IT.
400
00:25:04,036 --> 00:25:05,302
IGNORE IT.
401
00:25:06,639 --> 00:25:07,938
IGNORE IT.
402
00:25:09,242 --> 00:25:10,608
IGNORE IT.
403
00:25:22,921 --> 00:25:24,221
YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW
404
00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:26,724
THAT DR. GOETZ DID GET
ANOTHER RADIO SHOW,
405
00:25:26,792 --> 00:25:29,293
THOUGH HE WAS MUCH
MORE CAREFUL THIS TIME
406
00:25:29,362 --> 00:25:31,094
ABOUT SCREAMING HIS CALLS.
407
00:25:31,163 --> 00:25:34,498
AH HA HA HA!
408
00:25:35,635 --> 00:25:38,669
I'M FEELING SO MUCH BETTER.
409
00:25:38,738 --> 00:25:40,036
YOU WERE RIGHT DOC.
410
00:25:40,105 --> 00:25:43,307
A LITTLE SMOTHERLY
LOVE WAS ALL I NEEDED.
411
00:25:43,376 --> 00:25:46,109
SO UNTIL NEXT TIME KIDDIES.
412
00:25:46,178 --> 00:25:48,912
I SENDING MY SHRINK
TO JOIN THE OTHERS.
413
00:25:48,981 --> 00:25:50,881
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.
414
00:25:50,949 --> 00:25:53,550
THE MORGUE THE MERRIER.
415
00:25:56,221 --> 00:26:00,657
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
416
00:26:13,973 --> 00:26:16,584
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE... www.ncicap.org...
417
00:26:16,608 --> 00:26:18,544
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF
CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT
418
00:26:18,568 --> 00:26:20,288
PERMISSION OF NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
28176
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