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1
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,842
AH HA HA HA HA HA!
2
00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:27,564
DAMN YOU MARCEL!
3
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,166
I TOLD YOU THEY WANTED VIOLENCE!
4
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,268
NOT VIOLINS.
5
00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:35,271
GOOD HELP IS SO HARD TO FEND.
6
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:36,939
ISN'T IT, KIDDIES?
7
00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:40,042
WANT A LITTLE BIT
MORE CHAM-PAIN!
8
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:42,746
HA HA HA HA HA!
9
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:46,649
I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY FOR
TONIGHT'S MURDEROUS MENU.
10
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:49,185
IT CONCERNS A MAN
WHO'S DISCOVERED
11
00:01:49,209 --> 00:01:52,088
THAT THE FASTEST WAY
TO A WOMAN'S HEART
12
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,090
IS WITH A PICKAX!
13
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:57,460
I CALL THIS TASTY
HORROR D'OEUVRE
14
00:01:57,484 --> 00:02:00,919
NONE BUT THE LONELY HEART.
15
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,970
IS MADAM READY FOR DINNER?
16
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:57,987
OH.
17
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,444
HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY.
18
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:04,449
HERE YOU GO.
19
00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:09,098
A QUIET LITTLE DINNER FOR TWO.
20
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,533
AND...
21
00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:11,601
VOILA!
22
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:14,404
HOWARD, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
23
00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:15,838
IT'S JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING
24
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,340
I THREW TOGETHER.
25
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,409
AND TO GO WITH IT,
26
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,844
I THOUGHT WE'D HAVE THIS BOTTLE
27
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,846
OF THE 1966 CHATEAU
LAFITE-ROTHSCHILD.
28
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,349
I THOUGHT WE WERE SAVING THAT
29
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,950
FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION.
30
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:29,452
WELL, WE'RE HAVING
DINNER TOGETHER.
31
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,556
THAT'S SPECIAL ENOUGH FOR ME.
32
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,626
TO YOU, MY DARLING.
33
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,150
THANK YOU.
34
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,886
MMM...
35
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,634
MMM... THAT'S QUITE GOOD.
36
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:48,071
THERE'S A COMPLEXITY
TO GREAT WINE
37
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:50,273
THAT ONLY COMES WITH AGE.
38
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:53,209
IT TASTES OF EVERYTHING
THAT'S TOUCHED IT...
39
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,710
THE GRAPES, THE SOIL,
40
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:57,213
THE OAK IN WHICH IT FERMENTED,
41
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,349
AND IN THE END,
42
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:00,884
YOUR LIPS.
43
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:05,510
OH, HOWARD, YOU
DO KNOW MY HEART.
44
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:14,097
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
45
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,165
MY BRINGING UP
BUSINESS, DARLING,
46
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:18,635
BUT I THINK IT'S
RATHER IMPORTANT.
47
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,002
THERE'S A SMALL COMPANY
48
00:04:20,026 --> 00:04:22,071
I WANT TO INVEST IN,
49
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,574
BUT WE HAVE TO ACT QUICKLY.
50
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,143
I TOLD YOU, WHATEVER YOU THINK.
51
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:29,579
I WON'T DO IT THAT WAY.
52
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,147
THIS IS YOUR MONEY.
53
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,583
I'M MERELY MANAGING IT FOR YOU.
54
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,084
WHERE DO I SIGN?
55
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:38,187
YOU SIGN HERE. THAT'S RIGHT.
56
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,211
AND HERE.
57
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,393
AND NOW...
58
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:46,963
I THINK YOU SHOULD
DO SOMETHING FOR ME.
59
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:49,565
OH HO HO HO!
60
00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:53,969
OH, NO, NO, NO. YOU KNOW.
61
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:57,207
AH.
62
00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:58,808
ALL OF IT
63
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,832
OR JUST YOUR FAVORITE PART?
64
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:07,216
YET, AT MY BACK I ALWAYS HEAR
65
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,653
TIME'S WINGED
CHARIOT HURRYING NEAR.
66
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:13,156
THE GRAVE'S A FINE
AND PRIVATE PLACE,
67
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:16,760
YET NONE, I THINK,
DO THERE EMBRACE.
68
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:20,263
NOW THEREFORE, WHILE VELVET HUE
69
00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:23,266
SITS ON THY SKIN
LIKE MORNING DEW,
70
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,502
AND WHILE THY WILLING
SOUL TRANSPIRES...
71
00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:56,154
DAMN SHAME TO HAVE WASTED
A GREAT BOTTLE OF WINE.
72
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,339
YES! YES! I NEED AN AMBULANCE!
73
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:03,840
RIGHT AWAY!
74
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,942
IT'S MY WIFE...
75
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,966
I THINK SHE'S HAVING
A HEART ATTACK!
76
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,982
ASHES TO ASHES,
77
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:14,851
DUST TO DUST,
78
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:18,421
IN A SURE AND CERTAIN HOPE
79
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,123
OF THE RESURRECTION
UNTO ETERNAL LIFE.
80
00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:22,926
AMEN.
81
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:24,115
AMEN.
82
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:27,285
SLEEP WELL, MY BEAUTIFUL ROSE.
83
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:34,938
I'M VERY SORRY.
84
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:35,962
THANK YOU.
85
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,545
YOU MADE HER LAST
MONTHS SPECIAL, HOWARD.
86
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,912
YOU REALLY DID.
87
00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:45,681
THANK YOU, ADRIAN, I
REALLY APPRECIATE THAT.
88
00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:47,750
SHE LOVED YOU, HOWARD.
89
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:50,386
OH, HOW SHE LOVED YOU.
90
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,088
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING...
91
00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:55,213
CALL ME, OKAY.
92
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:06,235
YOU GAVE HER SO MUCH
AND SHE GAVE IT ALL BACK.
93
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,371
WHAT THE FUCK ARE
YOU DOING HERE, MORTY?
94
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,972
I GOT TO HAND IT TO YOU,
HOWARD, YOU'RE GOOD.
95
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:11,940
YOU GOT THESE PEOPLE
COMPLETELY FOOLED.
96
00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:14,510
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I
WAS VERY FOND OF MATILDA.
97
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:15,811
SHE WAS A WONDERFUL WOMAN.
98
00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:17,246
SO WAS ELIZABETH,
99
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,881
SO WAS CLARE, FOR THAT MATTER.
100
00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:20,216
SHAME THEY HAD TO BE KILLED.
101
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,318
THAT WAS BUSINESS, MORTY.
102
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:25,087
I COULD HAVE TAKEN
THE MONEY AND RUN.
103
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,589
THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN CRUEL.
104
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,958
I DO THESE LADIES A FAVOR...
105
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,827
I MAKE THEM FEEL LOVED.
106
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:33,596
AS YOUR BUSINESS
PARTNER, I HAVE BAD NEWS.
107
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,165
THE IRS FROZE A MILLION
BUCKS OF OUR ASSETS.
108
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,366
GOD DAMN IT!
109
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,036
HEY, TIP OF THE ICEBERG.
110
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:43,038
SAY GOODBYE TO
HOWARD AND MORTY, INC.
111
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:46,041
THEY PUSHED UP OUR DAY
BEFORE THE GRAND JURY.
112
00:07:46,065 --> 00:07:47,643
I CALLED THE AIRLINES...
113
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:48,845
WE'RE NOT GOING
ANYWHERE WE ARE NOT READY.
114
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:52,114
WHAT, NOT READY? WE
GOT 5 MILLION BUCKS.
115
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,215
MORE OR LESS.
116
00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:55,417
I SAY WE LIQUIDATE AND
GET OUR ASSETS SOMEPLACE
117
00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:57,186
THAT HAS GOOD YEAR
AROUND WEATHER.
118
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,088
AND NO EXTRADITION TREATY.
119
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,357
THERE'S THIS ISLAND
I KNOW CALLED...
120
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:03,192
ESCUNSION.
121
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,627
ESCUNSEUN?
122
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:07,863
MORTY, THE WHOLE PLAN WAS
TO SET OURSELVES UP FOR LIFE.
123
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:10,733
IN THIS ECONOMY, $2
MILLION WON'T DO THAT.
124
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:13,869
WE'RE IN DANGER, IN 11
DAYS, WE FACE A GRAND JURY.
125
00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:15,872
WHEN THEY UNCOVER OUR SCHEME...
126
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,373
GIVE ME 10 DAYS.
127
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:20,609
THE PLAN WAS TO SCORE
ONE MORE OLD LADY.
128
00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:21,611
10 DAYS?
129
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:22,712
YEAH.
130
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:25,682
THEY'RE GOING TO
NAIL YOUR ASS, PAL,
131
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:29,686
AND I'D LIKE TO BE AS
FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE.
132
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:32,121
TRUST ME. YOU WON'T REGRET IT.
133
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,612
YEAH, RIGHT.
134
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:30,012
PRO WRESTLING AND BOWLING.
135
00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:32,648
I STILL BOWL.
136
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:35,818
IT'S VERY GOOD EXERCISE.
137
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:38,243
AND I LIKE THE NOISE.
138
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,863
MY NAME IS EPHIE GLUCKMAN.
139
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:49,164
I'M 67 YEARS OLD,
140
00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:51,834
AND I'M NOT LOOKING
FOR A SUITOR.
141
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:55,638
I WAS MARRIED 38 YEARS
TO A WONDERFUL MAN.
142
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:57,506
I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYONE
143
00:09:57,530 --> 00:10:00,409
WHO COULD REPLACE
THEODORE, SO...
144
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:05,280
THEODORE. THEODORE.
BIG TEDDY GLUCKMAN.
145
00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:06,649
GLUCKMAN.
146
00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:09,218
WOW. TWO PAGES. IMPRESSIVE.
147
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,308
TEDDY WAS BUSY.
148
00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:16,192
I WOULD RATHER
THAT BE UNDERSTOOD
149
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,693
FROM THE START.
150
00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:20,696
WHAT I WANT IS A COMPANION.
151
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,699
CHECK OUT THE GEMS.
CHECK OUT THE GEMS.
152
00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,835
ARE THEY REAL?
153
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:28,137
ARE THEY REAL? IT'S REAL.
154
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,072
YES. OH, YES.
155
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:33,909
YEAH! 30 GRAND, AT LEAST.
156
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:36,412
A FRIEND, REALLY,
157
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,580
SOMEONE TO SHARE THINGS WITH.
158
00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:42,585
I MEAN, HOW MANY TIMES
CAN ONE SEE PARIS ALONE?
159
00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:47,522
I MEAN, HOW MANY TIMES
CAN ONE SEE PARIS ALONE?
160
00:10:47,546 --> 00:10:49,458
AH, ANY LUCK, MR. PRINCE?
161
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,783
3245. EPHIE GLUCKMAN.
162
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,831
3245. EPHIE GLUCKMAN.
163
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,833
OH, YES. ANOTHER MATURE WOMAN.
164
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:59,869
THEY DO GIVE A MAN
SOMETHING SPECIAL,
165
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:00,870
DON'T THEY?
166
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:03,339
WELL, I HOPE IT WORKS OUT
167
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,407
FOR THE BOTH OF YOU.
168
00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:06,865
I'M SURE IT WILL.
169
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,545
I TRIED TO TELL THE YOUNG MAN
170
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:10,980
THERE'D BEEN SOME ERROR.
171
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,982
HE INSISTED ON SEEING YOU.
172
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,984
SHALL I SHOW HIM OUT?
173
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,486
IN A MINUTE, STANHOPE.
174
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,943
MR. PRINCE.
175
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:25,093
NOTHING PERSONAL, MR. PRINCE,
176
00:11:25,117 --> 00:11:26,962
BUT TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST,
177
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:29,798
I HAD IN MIND SOMEONE OLDER.
178
00:11:29,822 --> 00:11:32,769
WHAT WOULD AN ATTRACTIVE
YOUNG MAN LIKE YOU
179
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:33,870
WANT WITH...
180
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:37,539
AN OLDER WOMAN,
ASIDE FROM THE MONEY?
181
00:11:37,563 --> 00:11:39,976
THAT IS WHAT YOU MEAN, ISN'T IT?
182
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,511
THE THOUGHT HAD CROSSED MY MIND.
183
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,980
I'M GOING TO BE VERY HONEST.
184
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:46,616
I DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY.
185
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,117
I COULD SHOW YOU A BANKBOOK,
186
00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:51,387
BUT THAT WOULD BE
SOMEWHAT TASTELESS.
187
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,388
AS FOR LADIES MY AGE,
188
00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:56,158
THAT KIND OF BEAUTY
IS WASTED ON ME.
189
00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:59,061
YOU SEE, WOMEN LIKE THAT
190
00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:03,755
HAVE CERTAIN NEEDS
THAT I'M UNABLE TO FULFILL.
191
00:12:05,659 --> 00:12:07,770
STANHOPE, THANK YOU.
192
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:09,204
I'LL BE NEARBY
193
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,348
IF YOU NEED ME, MADAM.
194
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:18,113
MR. PRINCE,
195
00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:20,283
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU'RE...
196
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:24,086
ALL I WANT FROM A
WOMAN IS COMPANIONSHIP,
197
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:26,588
BECAUSE AFTER ALL,
198
00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:30,248
NO ONE WANTS TO SEE PARIS ALONE.
199
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:35,865
I NEVER TRULY LEARNED
TO APPRECIATE WOMEN
200
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,933
UNTIL I STOPPED
THINKING ABOUT THEM
201
00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:40,202
IN THAT WAY.
202
00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:42,738
YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR
TROUBLE IS HOWARD?
203
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:43,806
YOU'VE SPENT YOUR WHOLE LIFE
204
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,696
PURSUING THE
WRONG KIND OF WOMAN.
205
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:48,878
AND THAT'S WHAT I
SAW IN YOU, EPHIE.
206
00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:53,448
NOT JUST A WOMAN,
BUT A KIND OF... GODDESS.
207
00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:56,152
EPHIE, I KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT YOU MEAN.
208
00:12:56,176 --> 00:13:00,722
MY HUSBAND THEODORE
HAD YOUR... CONDITION
209
00:13:00,746 --> 00:13:02,258
WHEN HE MET ME.
210
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,126
HE WAS IMPOTENT, TOO?
211
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:07,530
HE WAS HANDSOME AND WEALTHY,
212
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:10,232
BUT WOUNDED IN THAT WAY.
213
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:12,702
YOU REMIND ME OF HIM,
214
00:13:12,726 --> 00:13:16,572
BUT YOU SEEM SO
MUCH MORE PASSIONATE,
215
00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:18,908
MORE ALIVE.
216
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:21,966
WELL, OF COURSE, YOU ARE.
217
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:26,015
I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D FEEL THIS WAY
218
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,473
ABOUT ANOTHER MAN, BUT...
219
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:35,958
OH, LOOK AT THE TIME.
220
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,460
I MUST HAVE KEPT YOU
FROM A THOUSAND THINGS.
221
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,529
THANK YOU FOR
TALKING TO ME, EPHIE.
222
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:43,532
HOWARD, WHY DON'T
YOU STAY FOR DINNER?
223
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:44,967
I REALLY COULDN'T.
224
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,491
NO, NO. PLEASE.
PLEASE, I INSIST.
225
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,461
STANHOPE...
226
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,676
SHALL I SHOW THE GENTLEMAN
227
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,177
TO THE DOOR, MADAM?
228
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,646
SET TWO PLACES FOR DINNER.
229
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,415
BUT THERE'S NOT ENOUGH LAMB.
230
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:00,416
WHAT?
231
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,051
NOT ENOUGH LAMB.
232
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:04,553
MAKE EXTRA RICE, AND
USE THE GOOD CHINA.
233
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,722
NOT THE GOOD SILVER AS WELL.
234
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,724
I WANT EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT.
235
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,748
PUT THIS IN A VASE.
236
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:19,435
JIGSAW PUZZLES WERE
THEODORE'S PASSION.
237
00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:22,438
HE SPENT SIX YEARS ON THAT ONE.
238
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:25,440
IN FACT, HE DIED
RIGHT AT THAT TABLE.
239
00:14:25,464 --> 00:14:29,233
THE PUZZLE IS
EXACTLY AS HE LEFT IT.
240
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,448
I'VE ALWAYS FOUND JIGSAW PUZZLES
241
00:14:33,472 --> 00:14:35,951
TO BE AN INCREDIBLE
WASTE OF TIME.
242
00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:37,519
ME, TOO.
243
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,522
HOWARD, I'VE KNOWN
MEN TWICE YOUR AGE
244
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,958
WHO DIDN'T HAVE HALF
YOUR WORLDLINESS.
245
00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,960
I CAN HELP YOU.
246
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:46,461
EPHIE.
247
00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:49,031
I CAN REMEDY YOUR CONDITION.
248
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,332
REALLY, WE SHOULDN'T.
249
00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:53,602
WE HAVE ALL THE
TIME IN THE WORLD.
250
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:56,538
NOT WHEN YOU'RE
MY AGE, YOU DON'T.
251
00:14:56,562 --> 00:15:00,197
JUST RELAX, MY
DARLING. I'LL BE GENTLE.
252
00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:14,378
HOWARD I MADE YOU
BREAKFAST IN BED.
253
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:21,886
FOR SOME REASON THIS MORNING
I HAVE A HELL OF AN APPETITE.
254
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:26,423
EPHIE, LISTEN,
ABOUT LAST NIGHT...
255
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:31,473
NOT SINCE COLLEGE,
NOT EVEN IN COLLEGE.
256
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:34,576
DON'T SAY ANYTHING,
I FEEL GREAT.
257
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,611
I HAVEN'T FELT
THIS GOOD IN YEARS.
258
00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:39,237
WELL, JUST DON'T EXPECT
THAT FROM ME EVERY NIGHT.
259
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:44,153
OH, THIS CAME FOR
YOU THIS MORNING.
260
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,677
REALLY.
261
00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:56,298
WHO'S IT FROM?
262
00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:57,602
HMM?
263
00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:00,291
IT'S A... BUSINESS.
264
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:05,596
AH, I, I HAVE TO SKIP BREAKFAST.
265
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:07,643
I'M SORRY.
266
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:08,744
OH!
267
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,747
YOU'RE COMING BACK AREN'T YOU?
268
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:15,117
EPHIE, OF COURSE.
269
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,874
IF YOU'LL HAVE ME?
270
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:29,767
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
271
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:35,371
YOU KNOW I COULD ASK YOU
THE SAME QUESTION, MORTY.
272
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,706
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
273
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,275
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?
274
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:41,009
GETTING TO BLOW THIS POP STAND.
275
00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:42,644
KIND OF PREMATURE AREN'T YOU?
276
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:43,879
DID ANYONE SEE YOU COME IN HERE?
277
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,648
YOU KNOW WE REALLY
SHOULDN'T BE SEEN TOGETHER.
278
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,538
WHAT WERE YOU
GOING TO DO, MORTY?
279
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:49,952
TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN?
280
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:52,188
LEAVE ME HOLDING THE BAG?
281
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:55,725
ALL THOSE WIVES ARE STARTING
TO RUB OFF ON YOU, PAL.
282
00:16:55,749 --> 00:16:57,093
YOU'RE BABBLING.
283
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:58,861
COME ON, MORTY.
284
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:01,630
YOU KNOW YOU LIE
LIKE YOU DRESS, BADLY.
285
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:03,331
TAKE THAT TIE FOR INSTANCE.
286
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:04,599
YOU KNOW THAT DOESN'T
GO WITH YOUR SHIRT.
287
00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:06,067
THANKS FOR THE FASHION TIP.
288
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:07,224
YOU'RE WELCOME.
289
00:17:32,017 --> 00:17:34,463
WELCOME HOME,
MRS. HOWARD PRINCE.
290
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,265
OH, I CAN'T TELL YOU
291
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,400
HOW MUCH FUN THAT WAS.
292
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:40,402
I KNOW YOU WANTED TO WAIT,
293
00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:41,903
BUT I THOUGHT, WHY?
294
00:17:41,927 --> 00:17:43,905
THIS MORNING WHEN I WOKE UP,
295
00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:46,608
ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS GO
TO CITY HALL AND GET MARRIED.
296
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:49,111
WILL THE HAPPY
COUPLE BE HAVING LUNCH
297
00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:51,046
IN THE DINING ROOM FOR A CHANGE?
298
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,416
NO. WE'LL BE HAVING IT IN BED,
299
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,951
AS USUAL.
300
00:17:55,975 --> 00:18:01,423
OH, HOWARD, COME. NOW, SIT.
301
00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:05,094
I HAVE A LITTLE WEDDING
PRESENT FOR YOU.
302
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:07,096
YESTERDAY, I CALLED THE BANK
303
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:10,099
AND TOLD THEM TO
CHANGE THE TITLES
304
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:11,600
ON ALL THE ACCOUNTS.
305
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:14,636
ALL IT NEEDS IS YOUR SIGNATURE.
306
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:18,073
NOW, EPHIE, I TOLD
YOU NOT TO DO THAT.
307
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,509
NOW, DON'T BE ANGRY WITH ME.
308
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:23,445
IF MANAGING MY MONEY
GIVES YOU PLEASURE,
309
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:27,016
I WANT YOU TO DO IT.
I LOVE YOU, HOWARD.
310
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:31,053
NOW, I'M GOING UPSTAIRS
TO START THE JACUZZI,
311
00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:33,555
AND WHEN IT'S FULL AND BUBBLY,
312
00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:36,480
I'LL EXPECT TO FIND YOU IN IT.
313
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:41,897
THIS ARRIVED FOR YOU, SIR,
314
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:44,455
WHILE YOU WERE
CELEBRATING THE NUPTIALS.
315
00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:49,571
CONGRATULATIONS, I'M SURE,
316
00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:51,507
FOR THIS WONDERFUL MOMENT.
317
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,096
THANK YOU.
318
00:18:54,266 --> 00:18:55,733
THANK YOU.
319
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:21,202
OH, MR. PRINCE, HI. I
DIDN'T HEAR YOU COME IN.
320
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:22,337
EXCUSE ME.
321
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:25,607
I THOUGHT I'D NEVER
HAVE TO CLEAN THE HEAD.
322
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:27,676
YOU TAKE A PERSONAL INTEREST
323
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,711
IN YOUR CLIENTS, DON'T YOU?
324
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:31,146
WELL, YES.
325
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:35,350
WHAT WAS IT YOU SAID
ABOUT OLDER WOMEN?
326
00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:36,451
WELL, I DON'T REMEMBER
SAYING ANYTHING.
327
00:19:36,475 --> 00:19:39,655
YOU SAID THEY GIVE A
MAN SOMETHING SPECIAL.
328
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,822
YOU SAID THAT DIDN'T YOU?
329
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:43,024
WELL, I COULD HAVE. YES.
330
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:45,208
IS THAT WHAT YOU FIND CRIMINAL?
331
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:49,131
LOOK, MR. PRINCE...
332
00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:50,199
AAH!
333
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:52,201
YOU KNOW WHAT I FIND CRIMINAL?
334
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,490
BLACKMAIL!
335
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:18,694
HI, SWEETHEART, SORRY I RAN OUT
ON YOU, BUT SOMETHING CAME UP.
336
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,495
I WANT YOU TO DO ME A FAVOR.
337
00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:22,798
I WANT YOU TO GIVE
STANHOPE THE NIGHT OFF.
338
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:26,334
BECAUSE I'M GOING TO MAKE
DINNER FOR THE BOTH OF US.
339
00:20:26,358 --> 00:20:30,127
THAT'S RIGHT, JUST YOU AND
ME AND A NICE BOTTLE OF WINE.
340
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:39,369
DOES THE NAME MATILDA
MASON MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
341
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,601
I THOUGHT I GAVE
YOU THE NIGHT OFF?
342
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:47,856
HOW ABOUT ELIZABETH SWATSMORE?
343
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,191
OR CLARE MCCARTHY?
344
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:50,492
SHALL I GO ON?
345
00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:55,419
IT SEEMS THERE IS A
PATTERN TO YOUR PAST.
346
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,167
WHAT'S YOUR POINT, STANHOPE?
347
00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:02,337
MY POINT IS THAT I
COULD CALL THE POLICE
348
00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:05,140
BUT THAT WOULD ONLY
DISTRESS MRS. GLUCKMAN.
349
00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:07,108
I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
350
00:21:07,132 --> 00:21:09,211
SO I WON'T.
351
00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:14,704
AS LONG AS YOU AGREE TO
LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK.
352
00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:19,921
WELL, THAT'S AN INTERESTING
PROPOSITION, STANHOPE,
353
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:21,890
BUT, WHY WOULD I WANT
TO GO ALONG WITH THAT?
354
00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:23,992
EPHIE LOVES ME.
355
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,427
NO!
356
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:29,131
NO. THAT'S THE DEAL.
357
00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:31,521
AND I'VE SAID ALL
I INTEND TO SAY.
358
00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:39,430
WELL, WHAT CAN I SAY, STANHOPE?
359
00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:44,067
YOU WIN.
360
00:21:46,171 --> 00:21:47,204
GO AHEAD.
361
00:21:48,340 --> 00:21:49,740
SHOOT ME.
362
00:21:55,848 --> 00:21:57,325
COME ON, STANHOPE.
363
00:21:57,349 --> 00:21:59,016
SHOOT ME.
364
00:22:15,034 --> 00:22:17,278
ISN'T THIS LOVELY?
365
00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:18,847
AH, THANK YOU.
366
00:22:18,871 --> 00:22:21,282
WELL, HERE'S TO LUCK IN LOVE.
367
00:22:21,306 --> 00:22:23,284
MAY OUR PASSION LAST FOREVER.
368
00:22:23,308 --> 00:22:24,386
OH...
369
00:22:24,410 --> 00:22:25,854
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
370
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:27,890
I DON'T LIKE RED WINE.
371
00:22:27,914 --> 00:22:29,224
IT'S TOO BITTER.
372
00:22:29,248 --> 00:22:31,860
HAVE JUST A LITTLE FOR ME.
373
00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:33,862
YES. ALL RIGHT. I'M SORRY.
374
00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:36,865
HOWARD, I DIDN'T
MEAN TO BE DIFFICULT.
375
00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:39,322
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T, SWEETIE PIE.
376
00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:41,759
TO YOU.
377
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,701
AND HERE'S TO US.
378
00:22:55,407 --> 00:22:58,386
HOWARD, YOU'RE
TRYING TO GET ME DRUNK,
379
00:22:58,410 --> 00:22:59,387
AREN'T YOU?
380
00:22:59,411 --> 00:23:02,546
OOH! IN THAT CASE...
381
00:23:12,357 --> 00:23:14,335
AH...
382
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:15,859
HA HA!
383
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:21,643
OH...
384
00:23:21,667 --> 00:23:27,683
AH... OH... AH...
385
00:23:27,707 --> 00:23:30,173
AH AH AH!
386
00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:34,811
HOWARD...
387
00:24:01,974 --> 00:24:08,056
YES. YES. I'D LIKE AN
AMBULANCE, PLEASE.
388
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,825
IT'S MY WIFE.
389
00:24:09,849 --> 00:24:12,461
WELL, SHE... SHE WENT
INTO CONVULSIONS,
390
00:24:12,485 --> 00:24:14,485
AND I... I THINK...
391
00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:19,401
SHE, UH... SHE, UH...
392
00:24:19,425 --> 00:24:22,303
SHE STARTED TO THE STAIRS,
393
00:24:22,327 --> 00:24:25,863
AND I TRIED TO STOP
HER, BUT SHE FELL.
394
00:24:26,999 --> 00:24:30,946
PLEASE HURRY. I
THINK SHE'S DEAD.
395
00:24:34,073 --> 00:24:36,985
YEAH. I'D LIKE TO BOOK
A FIRST-CLASS TICKET
396
00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:38,987
ON TONIGHT'S
FLIGHT TO ESCUNSION.
397
00:24:39,011 --> 00:24:43,992
E-S-C-U-N-S-I-O-N.
ESCUNSION, WHATEVER.
398
00:24:44,016 --> 00:24:46,494
UH, HOWARD PRINCE.
399
00:24:46,518 --> 00:24:48,864
IS THAT A NONSTOP FLIGHT?
400
00:24:48,888 --> 00:24:51,933
GOOD. AND HOW MUCH WILL THAT BE?
401
00:24:51,957 --> 00:24:55,003
UH-HUH. NO. NO.
I'LL BE PAYING CASH.
402
00:24:55,027 --> 00:24:56,027
THANK YOU.
403
00:25:06,539 --> 00:25:07,871
WHAT?
404
00:25:15,247 --> 00:25:16,458
MAUSOLEUM.
405
00:25:16,482 --> 00:25:17,725
AH!
406
00:25:17,749 --> 00:25:20,963
DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!
407
00:25:20,987 --> 00:25:25,033
I THOUGHT I TOOK CARE
OF ALL THE LOOSE ENDS.
408
00:25:25,057 --> 00:25:28,036
THE LAST THING I EXPECTED
WAS ANOTHER NOTE,
409
00:25:28,060 --> 00:25:29,471
SO HERE I AM.
410
00:25:31,130 --> 00:25:34,109
NOW, WHAT'S THE
POINT OF ALL OF THIS?
411
00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:36,044
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
412
00:25:36,068 --> 00:25:39,648
IT WAS A NICE TOUCH,
MEETING HERE LIKE THIS,
413
00:25:39,672 --> 00:25:42,150
BUT IT DOESN'T EXACTLY SCARE ME.
414
00:25:42,174 --> 00:25:45,053
MAYBE I WASN'T
TRYING TO SCARE YOU.
415
00:25:45,077 --> 00:25:48,156
YOU WANT A PIECE
OF THE ACTION? HUH?
416
00:25:48,180 --> 00:25:50,292
THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?
417
00:25:50,316 --> 00:25:53,494
IN 12 YEARS, I'VE NEVER
SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.
418
00:25:53,518 --> 00:25:55,563
WHAT ARE YOU, A COP?
419
00:25:55,587 --> 00:25:58,633
IS THAT WHAT I'M
DEALING WITH HERE?
420
00:25:58,657 --> 00:26:00,157
NO, I'M NOT A COP.
421
00:26:03,762 --> 00:26:05,673
I CAN'T TELL YOU
HOW IN AWE I AM.
422
00:26:05,697 --> 00:26:07,175
ALL THOSE LADIES,
423
00:26:07,199 --> 00:26:10,245
SO GRATEFUL FOR
ONE LAST TASTE OF LIFE.
424
00:26:10,269 --> 00:26:13,181
WHAT DO YOU DO TO THEM?
425
00:26:13,205 --> 00:26:15,016
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
426
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:18,853
I DON'T WANT THEM
TO GET A HOLD OF YOU.
427
00:26:18,877 --> 00:26:19,921
TEACH ME.
428
00:26:19,945 --> 00:26:21,356
THEM? WHO'S THEM?
429
00:26:21,380 --> 00:26:24,726
WHAT IS THIS, A CONSPIRACY?
430
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:27,095
DON'T YOU SEE? THEY WANT YOU.
431
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,664
THEY USED ME TO BRING YOU.
432
00:26:29,688 --> 00:26:31,333
THEY'RE BEGGING ME.
433
00:26:31,357 --> 00:26:33,401
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
434
00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:35,336
MAN, THEY'RE
COMING FOR YOU. RUN!
435
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:38,273
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
436
00:26:38,297 --> 00:26:41,443
THERE'S A PENALTY
FOR WASTING MY TIME.
437
00:26:41,467 --> 00:26:46,536
AAH...
438
00:26:52,277 --> 00:26:54,355
I GOT GOOD NEWS, EPHIE.
439
00:26:54,379 --> 00:26:56,847
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE COMPANY.
440
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:02,296
HEY. WHERE'D SHE GO?
441
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,700
I'M OVER HERE, HOWARD.
442
00:27:04,724 --> 00:27:09,626
I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME.
443
00:27:11,096 --> 00:27:12,607
EPHIE?
444
00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:15,243
I MISSED YOU.
445
00:27:15,267 --> 00:27:17,267
ME, TOO, HOWARD.
446
00:27:19,771 --> 00:27:20,816
MATILDA?
447
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:25,353
WE COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU.
448
00:27:25,377 --> 00:27:30,113
AND WE CAN'T DIE WITHOUT YOU.
449
00:27:31,283 --> 00:27:32,783
NO. NO.
450
00:27:37,789 --> 00:27:39,957
WHAT ABOUT ME?
451
00:27:43,295 --> 00:27:45,273
DON'T YOU RECOGNIZE ME, HOWARD?
452
00:27:45,297 --> 00:27:47,275
NO! NO! NO!
453
00:27:47,299 --> 00:27:48,944
IT'S ELIZABETH.
454
00:27:48,968 --> 00:27:51,713
OH! OH! ELIZABETH!
455
00:27:51,737 --> 00:27:53,348
AAH...
456
00:27:53,372 --> 00:27:54,872
AAH! CLARE!
457
00:27:59,544 --> 00:28:03,625
OH, MY GOD, NO! NO! NO! NO!
458
00:28:03,649 --> 00:28:07,329
AAH! AAH!
459
00:28:07,353 --> 00:28:10,164
NO! NO! AAH... AAH...
460
00:28:10,188 --> 00:28:14,168
AAH... AAH...
461
00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:17,361
AAH!
462
00:28:26,105 --> 00:28:29,217
NOW, THAT'S WHAT I
CALL A HAPPY ENDING.
463
00:28:29,241 --> 00:28:32,587
I HAD A FEELING EPHIE
WOULD WIN HOWARD'S HEART,
464
00:28:32,611 --> 00:28:34,655
NOT TO MENTION HIS SPLEEN,
465
00:28:34,679 --> 00:28:37,158
HIS KIDNEYS, AND
HIS GALL BLADDER.
466
00:28:37,182 --> 00:28:39,660
AH HA HA HA!
467
00:28:39,684 --> 00:28:43,264
SO, WILL THERE BE ANYTHING ELSE?
468
00:28:44,689 --> 00:28:46,034
MMM.
469
00:28:46,058 --> 00:28:48,769
I LOVE A GHOUL
WHO GIVES YOU HEAD
470
00:28:48,793 --> 00:28:50,472
AND THEN LETS YOU KEEP IT.
471
00:28:50,496 --> 00:28:55,009
AH HA HA HA HA!
472
00:28:55,033 --> 00:28:58,146
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
473
00:28:58,170 --> 00:29:01,149
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE... www.ncicap.org...
474
00:29:01,173 --> 00:29:03,109
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF
CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT
475
00:29:03,133 --> 00:29:04,853
PERMISSION OF NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
31745
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