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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,842 AH HA HA HA HA HA! 2 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:27,564 DAMN YOU MARCEL! 3 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,166 I TOLD YOU THEY WANTED VIOLENCE! 4 00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,268 NOT VIOLINS. 5 00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:35,271 GOOD HELP IS SO HARD TO FEND. 6 00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:36,939 ISN'T IT, KIDDIES? 7 00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:40,042 WANT A LITTLE BIT MORE CHAM-PAIN! 8 00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:42,746 HA HA HA HA HA! 9 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:46,649 I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY FOR TONIGHT'S MURDEROUS MENU. 10 00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:49,185 IT CONCERNS A MAN WHO'S DISCOVERED 11 00:01:49,209 --> 00:01:52,088 THAT THE FASTEST WAY TO A WOMAN'S HEART 12 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,090 IS WITH A PICKAX! 13 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:57,460 I CALL THIS TASTY HORROR D'OEUVRE 14 00:01:57,484 --> 00:02:00,919 NONE BUT THE LONELY HEART. 15 00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,970 IS MADAM READY FOR DINNER? 16 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:57,987 OH. 17 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,444 HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY. 18 00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:04,449 HERE YOU GO. 19 00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:09,098 A QUIET LITTLE DINNER FOR TWO. 20 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,533 AND... 21 00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:11,601 VOILA! 22 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:14,404 HOWARD, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 23 00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:15,838 IT'S JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING 24 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,340 I THREW TOGETHER. 25 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,409 AND TO GO WITH IT, 26 00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,844 I THOUGHT WE'D HAVE THIS BOTTLE 27 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,846 OF THE 1966 CHATEAU LAFITE-ROTHSCHILD. 28 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,349 I THOUGHT WE WERE SAVING THAT 29 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,950 FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION. 30 00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:29,452 WELL, WE'RE HAVING DINNER TOGETHER. 31 00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,556 THAT'S SPECIAL ENOUGH FOR ME. 32 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,626 TO YOU, MY DARLING. 33 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,150 THANK YOU. 34 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,886 MMM... 35 00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,634 MMM... THAT'S QUITE GOOD. 36 00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:48,071 THERE'S A COMPLEXITY TO GREAT WINE 37 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:50,273 THAT ONLY COMES WITH AGE. 38 00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:53,209 IT TASTES OF EVERYTHING THAT'S TOUCHED IT... 39 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,710 THE GRAPES, THE SOIL, 40 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:57,213 THE OAK IN WHICH IT FERMENTED, 41 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,349 AND IN THE END, 42 00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:00,884 YOUR LIPS. 43 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:05,510 OH, HOWARD, YOU DO KNOW MY HEART. 44 00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:14,097 I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND 45 00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,165 MY BRINGING UP BUSINESS, DARLING, 46 00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:18,635 BUT I THINK IT'S RATHER IMPORTANT. 47 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,002 THERE'S A SMALL COMPANY 48 00:04:20,026 --> 00:04:22,071 I WANT TO INVEST IN, 49 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,574 BUT WE HAVE TO ACT QUICKLY. 50 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,143 I TOLD YOU, WHATEVER YOU THINK. 51 00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:29,579 I WON'T DO IT THAT WAY. 52 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,147 THIS IS YOUR MONEY. 53 00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,583 I'M MERELY MANAGING IT FOR YOU. 54 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,084 WHERE DO I SIGN? 55 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:38,187 YOU SIGN HERE. THAT'S RIGHT. 56 00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,211 AND HERE. 57 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,393 AND NOW... 58 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:46,963 I THINK YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHING FOR ME. 59 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:49,565 OH HO HO HO! 60 00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:53,969 OH, NO, NO, NO. YOU KNOW. 61 00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:57,207 AH. 62 00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:58,808 ALL OF IT 63 00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,832 OR JUST YOUR FAVORITE PART? 64 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:07,216 YET, AT MY BACK I ALWAYS HEAR 65 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,653 TIME'S WINGED CHARIOT HURRYING NEAR. 66 00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:13,156 THE GRAVE'S A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE, 67 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:16,760 YET NONE, I THINK, DO THERE EMBRACE. 68 00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:20,263 NOW THEREFORE, WHILE VELVET HUE 69 00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:23,266 SITS ON THY SKIN LIKE MORNING DEW, 70 00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,502 AND WHILE THY WILLING SOUL TRANSPIRES... 71 00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:56,154 DAMN SHAME TO HAVE WASTED A GREAT BOTTLE OF WINE. 72 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,339 YES! YES! I NEED AN AMBULANCE! 73 00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:03,840 RIGHT AWAY! 74 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,942 IT'S MY WIFE... 75 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,966 I THINK SHE'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK! 76 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,982 ASHES TO ASHES, 77 00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:14,851 DUST TO DUST, 78 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:18,421 IN A SURE AND CERTAIN HOPE 79 00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,123 OF THE RESURRECTION UNTO ETERNAL LIFE. 80 00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:22,926 AMEN. 81 00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:24,115 AMEN. 82 00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:27,285 SLEEP WELL, MY BEAUTIFUL ROSE. 83 00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:34,938 I'M VERY SORRY. 84 00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:35,962 THANK YOU. 85 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,545 YOU MADE HER LAST MONTHS SPECIAL, HOWARD. 86 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,912 YOU REALLY DID. 87 00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:45,681 THANK YOU, ADRIAN, I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. 88 00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:47,750 SHE LOVED YOU, HOWARD. 89 00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:50,386 OH, HOW SHE LOVED YOU. 90 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,088 IF YOU NEED ANYTHING... 91 00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:55,213 CALL ME, OKAY. 92 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:06,235 YOU GAVE HER SO MUCH AND SHE GAVE IT ALL BACK. 93 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,371 WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE, MORTY? 94 00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,972 I GOT TO HAND IT TO YOU, HOWARD, YOU'RE GOOD. 95 00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:11,940 YOU GOT THESE PEOPLE COMPLETELY FOOLED. 96 00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:14,510 AS A MATTER OF FACT, I WAS VERY FOND OF MATILDA. 97 00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:15,811 SHE WAS A WONDERFUL WOMAN. 98 00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:17,246 SO WAS ELIZABETH, 99 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,881 SO WAS CLARE, FOR THAT MATTER. 100 00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:20,216 SHAME THEY HAD TO BE KILLED. 101 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,318 THAT WAS BUSINESS, MORTY. 102 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:25,087 I COULD HAVE TAKEN THE MONEY AND RUN. 103 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,589 THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN CRUEL. 104 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,958 I DO THESE LADIES A FAVOR... 105 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,827 I MAKE THEM FEEL LOVED. 106 00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:33,596 AS YOUR BUSINESS PARTNER, I HAVE BAD NEWS. 107 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,165 THE IRS FROZE A MILLION BUCKS OF OUR ASSETS. 108 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,366 GOD DAMN IT! 109 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,036 HEY, TIP OF THE ICEBERG. 110 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:43,038 SAY GOODBYE TO HOWARD AND MORTY, INC. 111 00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:46,041 THEY PUSHED UP OUR DAY BEFORE THE GRAND JURY. 112 00:07:46,065 --> 00:07:47,643 I CALLED THE AIRLINES... 113 00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:48,845 WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE WE ARE NOT READY. 114 00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:52,114 WHAT, NOT READY? WE GOT 5 MILLION BUCKS. 115 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,215 MORE OR LESS. 116 00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:55,417 I SAY WE LIQUIDATE AND GET OUR ASSETS SOMEPLACE 117 00:07:55,441 --> 00:07:57,186 THAT HAS GOOD YEAR AROUND WEATHER. 118 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,088 AND NO EXTRADITION TREATY. 119 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,357 THERE'S THIS ISLAND I KNOW CALLED... 120 00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:03,192 ESCUNSION. 121 00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,627 ESCUNSEUN? 122 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:07,863 MORTY, THE WHOLE PLAN WAS TO SET OURSELVES UP FOR LIFE. 123 00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:10,733 IN THIS ECONOMY, $2 MILLION WON'T DO THAT. 124 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:13,869 WE'RE IN DANGER, IN 11 DAYS, WE FACE A GRAND JURY. 125 00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:15,872 WHEN THEY UNCOVER OUR SCHEME... 126 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,373 GIVE ME 10 DAYS. 127 00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:20,609 THE PLAN WAS TO SCORE ONE MORE OLD LADY. 128 00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:21,611 10 DAYS? 129 00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:22,712 YEAH. 130 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:25,682 THEY'RE GOING TO NAIL YOUR ASS, PAL, 131 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:29,686 AND I'D LIKE TO BE AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE. 132 00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:32,121 TRUST ME. YOU WON'T REGRET IT. 133 00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,612 YEAH, RIGHT. 134 00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:30,012 PRO WRESTLING AND BOWLING. 135 00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:32,648 I STILL BOWL. 136 00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:35,818 IT'S VERY GOOD EXERCISE. 137 00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:38,243 AND I LIKE THE NOISE. 138 00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,863 MY NAME IS EPHIE GLUCKMAN. 139 00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:49,164 I'M 67 YEARS OLD, 140 00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:51,834 AND I'M NOT LOOKING FOR A SUITOR. 141 00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:55,638 I WAS MARRIED 38 YEARS TO A WONDERFUL MAN. 142 00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:57,506 I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYONE 143 00:09:57,530 --> 00:10:00,409 WHO COULD REPLACE THEODORE, SO... 144 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:05,280 THEODORE. THEODORE. BIG TEDDY GLUCKMAN. 145 00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:06,649 GLUCKMAN. 146 00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:09,218 WOW. TWO PAGES. IMPRESSIVE. 147 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,308 TEDDY WAS BUSY. 148 00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:16,192 I WOULD RATHER THAT BE UNDERSTOOD 149 00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,693 FROM THE START. 150 00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:20,696 WHAT I WANT IS A COMPANION. 151 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,699 CHECK OUT THE GEMS. CHECK OUT THE GEMS. 152 00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,835 ARE THEY REAL? 153 00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:28,137 ARE THEY REAL? IT'S REAL. 154 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,072 YES. OH, YES. 155 00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:33,909 YEAH! 30 GRAND, AT LEAST. 156 00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:36,412 A FRIEND, REALLY, 157 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,580 SOMEONE TO SHARE THINGS WITH. 158 00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:42,585 I MEAN, HOW MANY TIMES CAN ONE SEE PARIS ALONE? 159 00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:47,522 I MEAN, HOW MANY TIMES CAN ONE SEE PARIS ALONE? 160 00:10:47,546 --> 00:10:49,458 AH, ANY LUCK, MR. PRINCE? 161 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,783 3245. EPHIE GLUCKMAN. 162 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,831 3245. EPHIE GLUCKMAN. 163 00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,833 OH, YES. ANOTHER MATURE WOMAN. 164 00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:59,869 THEY DO GIVE A MAN SOMETHING SPECIAL, 165 00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:00,870 DON'T THEY? 166 00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:03,339 WELL, I HOPE IT WORKS OUT 167 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,407 FOR THE BOTH OF YOU. 168 00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:06,865 I'M SURE IT WILL. 169 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,545 I TRIED TO TELL THE YOUNG MAN 170 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:10,980 THERE'D BEEN SOME ERROR. 171 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,982 HE INSISTED ON SEEING YOU. 172 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,984 SHALL I SHOW HIM OUT? 173 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,486 IN A MINUTE, STANHOPE. 174 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,943 MR. PRINCE. 175 00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:25,093 NOTHING PERSONAL, MR. PRINCE, 176 00:11:25,117 --> 00:11:26,962 BUT TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST, 177 00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:29,798 I HAD IN MIND SOMEONE OLDER. 178 00:11:29,822 --> 00:11:32,769 WHAT WOULD AN ATTRACTIVE YOUNG MAN LIKE YOU 179 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:33,870 WANT WITH... 180 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:37,539 AN OLDER WOMAN, ASIDE FROM THE MONEY? 181 00:11:37,563 --> 00:11:39,976 THAT IS WHAT YOU MEAN, ISN'T IT? 182 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,511 THE THOUGHT HAD CROSSED MY MIND. 183 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,980 I'M GOING TO BE VERY HONEST. 184 00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:46,616 I DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY. 185 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,117 I COULD SHOW YOU A BANKBOOK, 186 00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:51,387 BUT THAT WOULD BE SOMEWHAT TASTELESS. 187 00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,388 AS FOR LADIES MY AGE, 188 00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:56,158 THAT KIND OF BEAUTY IS WASTED ON ME. 189 00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:59,061 YOU SEE, WOMEN LIKE THAT 190 00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:03,755 HAVE CERTAIN NEEDS THAT I'M UNABLE TO FULFILL. 191 00:12:05,659 --> 00:12:07,770 STANHOPE, THANK YOU. 192 00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:09,204 I'LL BE NEARBY 193 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,348 IF YOU NEED ME, MADAM. 194 00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:18,113 MR. PRINCE, 195 00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:20,283 ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU'RE... 196 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:24,086 ALL I WANT FROM A WOMAN IS COMPANIONSHIP, 197 00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:26,588 BECAUSE AFTER ALL, 198 00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:30,248 NO ONE WANTS TO SEE PARIS ALONE. 199 00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:35,865 I NEVER TRULY LEARNED TO APPRECIATE WOMEN 200 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,933 UNTIL I STOPPED THINKING ABOUT THEM 201 00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:40,202 IN THAT WAY. 202 00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:42,738 YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR TROUBLE IS HOWARD? 203 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:43,806 YOU'VE SPENT YOUR WHOLE LIFE 204 00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,696 PURSUING THE WRONG KIND OF WOMAN. 205 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:48,878 AND THAT'S WHAT I SAW IN YOU, EPHIE. 206 00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:53,448 NOT JUST A WOMAN, BUT A KIND OF... GODDESS. 207 00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:56,152 EPHIE, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN. 208 00:12:56,176 --> 00:13:00,722 MY HUSBAND THEODORE HAD YOUR... CONDITION 209 00:13:00,746 --> 00:13:02,258 WHEN HE MET ME. 210 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,126 HE WAS IMPOTENT, TOO? 211 00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:07,530 HE WAS HANDSOME AND WEALTHY, 212 00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:10,232 BUT WOUNDED IN THAT WAY. 213 00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:12,702 YOU REMIND ME OF HIM, 214 00:13:12,726 --> 00:13:16,572 BUT YOU SEEM SO MUCH MORE PASSIONATE, 215 00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:18,908 MORE ALIVE. 216 00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:21,966 WELL, OF COURSE, YOU ARE. 217 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:26,015 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D FEEL THIS WAY 218 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,473 ABOUT ANOTHER MAN, BUT... 219 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:35,958 OH, LOOK AT THE TIME. 220 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,460 I MUST HAVE KEPT YOU FROM A THOUSAND THINGS. 221 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,529 THANK YOU FOR TALKING TO ME, EPHIE. 222 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:43,532 HOWARD, WHY DON'T YOU STAY FOR DINNER? 223 00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:44,967 I REALLY COULDN'T. 224 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,491 NO, NO. PLEASE. PLEASE, I INSIST. 225 00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,461 STANHOPE... 226 00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,676 SHALL I SHOW THE GENTLEMAN 227 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,177 TO THE DOOR, MADAM? 228 00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,646 SET TWO PLACES FOR DINNER. 229 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,415 BUT THERE'S NOT ENOUGH LAMB. 230 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:00,416 WHAT? 231 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,051 NOT ENOUGH LAMB. 232 00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:04,553 MAKE EXTRA RICE, AND USE THE GOOD CHINA. 233 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,722 NOT THE GOOD SILVER AS WELL. 234 00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,724 I WANT EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT. 235 00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,748 PUT THIS IN A VASE. 236 00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:19,435 JIGSAW PUZZLES WERE THEODORE'S PASSION. 237 00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:22,438 HE SPENT SIX YEARS ON THAT ONE. 238 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:25,440 IN FACT, HE DIED RIGHT AT THAT TABLE. 239 00:14:25,464 --> 00:14:29,233 THE PUZZLE IS EXACTLY AS HE LEFT IT. 240 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,448 I'VE ALWAYS FOUND JIGSAW PUZZLES 241 00:14:33,472 --> 00:14:35,951 TO BE AN INCREDIBLE WASTE OF TIME. 242 00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:37,519 ME, TOO. 243 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,522 HOWARD, I'VE KNOWN MEN TWICE YOUR AGE 244 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,958 WHO DIDN'T HAVE HALF YOUR WORLDLINESS. 245 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,960 I CAN HELP YOU. 246 00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:46,461 EPHIE. 247 00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:49,031 I CAN REMEDY YOUR CONDITION. 248 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,332 REALLY, WE SHOULDN'T. 249 00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:53,602 WE HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD. 250 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:56,538 NOT WHEN YOU'RE MY AGE, YOU DON'T. 251 00:14:56,562 --> 00:15:00,197 JUST RELAX, MY DARLING. I'LL BE GENTLE. 252 00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:14,378 HOWARD I MADE YOU BREAKFAST IN BED. 253 00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:21,886 FOR SOME REASON THIS MORNING I HAVE A HELL OF AN APPETITE. 254 00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:26,423 EPHIE, LISTEN, ABOUT LAST NIGHT... 255 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:31,473 NOT SINCE COLLEGE, NOT EVEN IN COLLEGE. 256 00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:34,576 DON'T SAY ANYTHING, I FEEL GREAT. 257 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,611 I HAVEN'T FELT THIS GOOD IN YEARS. 258 00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:39,237 WELL, JUST DON'T EXPECT THAT FROM ME EVERY NIGHT. 259 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:44,153 OH, THIS CAME FOR YOU THIS MORNING. 260 00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,677 REALLY. 261 00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:56,298 WHO'S IT FROM? 262 00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:57,602 HMM? 263 00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:00,291 IT'S A... BUSINESS. 264 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:05,596 AH, I, I HAVE TO SKIP BREAKFAST. 265 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:07,643 I'M SORRY. 266 00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:08,744 OH! 267 00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,747 YOU'RE COMING BACK AREN'T YOU? 268 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:15,117 EPHIE, OF COURSE. 269 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,874 IF YOU'LL HAVE ME? 270 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:29,767 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 271 00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:35,371 YOU KNOW I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION, MORTY. 272 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,706 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 273 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,275 WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE? 274 00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:41,009 GETTING TO BLOW THIS POP STAND. 275 00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:42,644 KIND OF PREMATURE AREN'T YOU? 276 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:43,879 DID ANYONE SEE YOU COME IN HERE? 277 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,648 YOU KNOW WE REALLY SHOULDN'T BE SEEN TOGETHER. 278 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,538 WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO DO, MORTY? 279 00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:49,952 TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN? 280 00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:52,188 LEAVE ME HOLDING THE BAG? 281 00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:55,725 ALL THOSE WIVES ARE STARTING TO RUB OFF ON YOU, PAL. 282 00:16:55,749 --> 00:16:57,093 YOU'RE BABBLING. 283 00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:58,861 COME ON, MORTY. 284 00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:01,630 YOU KNOW YOU LIE LIKE YOU DRESS, BADLY. 285 00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:03,331 TAKE THAT TIE FOR INSTANCE. 286 00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:04,599 YOU KNOW THAT DOESN'T GO WITH YOUR SHIRT. 287 00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:06,067 THANKS FOR THE FASHION TIP. 288 00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:07,224 YOU'RE WELCOME. 289 00:17:32,017 --> 00:17:34,463 WELCOME HOME, MRS. HOWARD PRINCE. 290 00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,265 OH, I CAN'T TELL YOU 291 00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,400 HOW MUCH FUN THAT WAS. 292 00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:40,402 I KNOW YOU WANTED TO WAIT, 293 00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:41,903 BUT I THOUGHT, WHY? 294 00:17:41,927 --> 00:17:43,905 THIS MORNING WHEN I WOKE UP, 295 00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:46,608 ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS GO TO CITY HALL AND GET MARRIED. 296 00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:49,111 WILL THE HAPPY COUPLE BE HAVING LUNCH 297 00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:51,046 IN THE DINING ROOM FOR A CHANGE? 298 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,416 NO. WE'LL BE HAVING IT IN BED, 299 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,951 AS USUAL. 300 00:17:55,975 --> 00:18:01,423 OH, HOWARD, COME. NOW, SIT. 301 00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:05,094 I HAVE A LITTLE WEDDING PRESENT FOR YOU. 302 00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:07,096 YESTERDAY, I CALLED THE BANK 303 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:10,099 AND TOLD THEM TO CHANGE THE TITLES 304 00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:11,600 ON ALL THE ACCOUNTS. 305 00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:14,636 ALL IT NEEDS IS YOUR SIGNATURE. 306 00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:18,073 NOW, EPHIE, I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT. 307 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,509 NOW, DON'T BE ANGRY WITH ME. 308 00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:23,445 IF MANAGING MY MONEY GIVES YOU PLEASURE, 309 00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:27,016 I WANT YOU TO DO IT. I LOVE YOU, HOWARD. 310 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:31,053 NOW, I'M GOING UPSTAIRS TO START THE JACUZZI, 311 00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:33,555 AND WHEN IT'S FULL AND BUBBLY, 312 00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:36,480 I'LL EXPECT TO FIND YOU IN IT. 313 00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:41,897 THIS ARRIVED FOR YOU, SIR, 314 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:44,455 WHILE YOU WERE CELEBRATING THE NUPTIALS. 315 00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:49,571 CONGRATULATIONS, I'M SURE, 316 00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:51,507 FOR THIS WONDERFUL MOMENT. 317 00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,096 THANK YOU. 318 00:18:54,266 --> 00:18:55,733 THANK YOU. 319 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:21,202 OH, MR. PRINCE, HI. I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COME IN. 320 00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:22,337 EXCUSE ME. 321 00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:25,607 I THOUGHT I'D NEVER HAVE TO CLEAN THE HEAD. 322 00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:27,676 YOU TAKE A PERSONAL INTEREST 323 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,711 IN YOUR CLIENTS, DON'T YOU? 324 00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:31,146 WELL, YES. 325 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:35,350 WHAT WAS IT YOU SAID ABOUT OLDER WOMEN? 326 00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:36,451 WELL, I DON'T REMEMBER SAYING ANYTHING. 327 00:19:36,475 --> 00:19:39,655 YOU SAID THEY GIVE A MAN SOMETHING SPECIAL. 328 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,822 YOU SAID THAT DIDN'T YOU? 329 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:43,024 WELL, I COULD HAVE. YES. 330 00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:45,208 IS THAT WHAT YOU FIND CRIMINAL? 331 00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:49,131 LOOK, MR. PRINCE... 332 00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:50,199 AAH! 333 00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:52,201 YOU KNOW WHAT I FIND CRIMINAL? 334 00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,490 BLACKMAIL! 335 00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:18,694 HI, SWEETHEART, SORRY I RAN OUT ON YOU, BUT SOMETHING CAME UP. 336 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,495 I WANT YOU TO DO ME A FAVOR. 337 00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:22,798 I WANT YOU TO GIVE STANHOPE THE NIGHT OFF. 338 00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:26,334 BECAUSE I'M GOING TO MAKE DINNER FOR THE BOTH OF US. 339 00:20:26,358 --> 00:20:30,127 THAT'S RIGHT, JUST YOU AND ME AND A NICE BOTTLE OF WINE. 340 00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:39,369 DOES THE NAME MATILDA MASON MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? 341 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,601 I THOUGHT I GAVE YOU THE NIGHT OFF? 342 00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:47,856 HOW ABOUT ELIZABETH SWATSMORE? 343 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,191 OR CLARE MCCARTHY? 344 00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:50,492 SHALL I GO ON? 345 00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:55,419 IT SEEMS THERE IS A PATTERN TO YOUR PAST. 346 00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,167 WHAT'S YOUR POINT, STANHOPE? 347 00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:02,337 MY POINT IS THAT I COULD CALL THE POLICE 348 00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:05,140 BUT THAT WOULD ONLY DISTRESS MRS. GLUCKMAN. 349 00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:07,108 I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. 350 00:21:07,132 --> 00:21:09,211 SO I WON'T. 351 00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:14,704 AS LONG AS YOU AGREE TO LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK. 352 00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:19,921 WELL, THAT'S AN INTERESTING PROPOSITION, STANHOPE, 353 00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:21,890 BUT, WHY WOULD I WANT TO GO ALONG WITH THAT? 354 00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:23,992 EPHIE LOVES ME. 355 00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,427 NO! 356 00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:29,131 NO. THAT'S THE DEAL. 357 00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:31,521 AND I'VE SAID ALL I INTEND TO SAY. 358 00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:39,430 WELL, WHAT CAN I SAY, STANHOPE? 359 00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:44,067 YOU WIN. 360 00:21:46,171 --> 00:21:47,204 GO AHEAD. 361 00:21:48,340 --> 00:21:49,740 SHOOT ME. 362 00:21:55,848 --> 00:21:57,325 COME ON, STANHOPE. 363 00:21:57,349 --> 00:21:59,016 SHOOT ME. 364 00:22:15,034 --> 00:22:17,278 ISN'T THIS LOVELY? 365 00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:18,847 AH, THANK YOU. 366 00:22:18,871 --> 00:22:21,282 WELL, HERE'S TO LUCK IN LOVE. 367 00:22:21,306 --> 00:22:23,284 MAY OUR PASSION LAST FOREVER. 368 00:22:23,308 --> 00:22:24,386 OH... 369 00:22:24,410 --> 00:22:25,854 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 370 00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:27,890 I DON'T LIKE RED WINE. 371 00:22:27,914 --> 00:22:29,224 IT'S TOO BITTER. 372 00:22:29,248 --> 00:22:31,860 HAVE JUST A LITTLE FOR ME. 373 00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:33,862 YES. ALL RIGHT. I'M SORRY. 374 00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:36,865 HOWARD, I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE DIFFICULT. 375 00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:39,322 I KNOW YOU DIDN'T, SWEETIE PIE. 376 00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:41,759 TO YOU. 377 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,701 AND HERE'S TO US. 378 00:22:55,407 --> 00:22:58,386 HOWARD, YOU'RE TRYING TO GET ME DRUNK, 379 00:22:58,410 --> 00:22:59,387 AREN'T YOU? 380 00:22:59,411 --> 00:23:02,546 OOH! IN THAT CASE... 381 00:23:12,357 --> 00:23:14,335 AH... 382 00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:15,859 HA HA! 383 00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:21,643 OH... 384 00:23:21,667 --> 00:23:27,683 AH... OH... AH... 385 00:23:27,707 --> 00:23:30,173 AH AH AH! 386 00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:34,811 HOWARD... 387 00:24:01,974 --> 00:24:08,056 YES. YES. I'D LIKE AN AMBULANCE, PLEASE. 388 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,825 IT'S MY WIFE. 389 00:24:09,849 --> 00:24:12,461 WELL, SHE... SHE WENT INTO CONVULSIONS, 390 00:24:12,485 --> 00:24:14,485 AND I... I THINK... 391 00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:19,401 SHE, UH... SHE, UH... 392 00:24:19,425 --> 00:24:22,303 SHE STARTED TO THE STAIRS, 393 00:24:22,327 --> 00:24:25,863 AND I TRIED TO STOP HER, BUT SHE FELL. 394 00:24:26,999 --> 00:24:30,946 PLEASE HURRY. I THINK SHE'S DEAD. 395 00:24:34,073 --> 00:24:36,985 YEAH. I'D LIKE TO BOOK A FIRST-CLASS TICKET 396 00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:38,987 ON TONIGHT'S FLIGHT TO ESCUNSION. 397 00:24:39,011 --> 00:24:43,992 E-S-C-U-N-S-I-O-N. ESCUNSION, WHATEVER. 398 00:24:44,016 --> 00:24:46,494 UH, HOWARD PRINCE. 399 00:24:46,518 --> 00:24:48,864 IS THAT A NONSTOP FLIGHT? 400 00:24:48,888 --> 00:24:51,933 GOOD. AND HOW MUCH WILL THAT BE? 401 00:24:51,957 --> 00:24:55,003 UH-HUH. NO. NO. I'LL BE PAYING CASH. 402 00:24:55,027 --> 00:24:56,027 THANK YOU. 403 00:25:06,539 --> 00:25:07,871 WHAT? 404 00:25:15,247 --> 00:25:16,458 MAUSOLEUM. 405 00:25:16,482 --> 00:25:17,725 AH! 406 00:25:17,749 --> 00:25:20,963 DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! 407 00:25:20,987 --> 00:25:25,033 I THOUGHT I TOOK CARE OF ALL THE LOOSE ENDS. 408 00:25:25,057 --> 00:25:28,036 THE LAST THING I EXPECTED WAS ANOTHER NOTE, 409 00:25:28,060 --> 00:25:29,471 SO HERE I AM. 410 00:25:31,130 --> 00:25:34,109 NOW, WHAT'S THE POINT OF ALL OF THIS? 411 00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:36,044 WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 412 00:25:36,068 --> 00:25:39,648 IT WAS A NICE TOUCH, MEETING HERE LIKE THIS, 413 00:25:39,672 --> 00:25:42,150 BUT IT DOESN'T EXACTLY SCARE ME. 414 00:25:42,174 --> 00:25:45,053 MAYBE I WASN'T TRYING TO SCARE YOU. 415 00:25:45,077 --> 00:25:48,156 YOU WANT A PIECE OF THE ACTION? HUH? 416 00:25:48,180 --> 00:25:50,292 THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT? 417 00:25:50,316 --> 00:25:53,494 IN 12 YEARS, I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT. 418 00:25:53,518 --> 00:25:55,563 WHAT ARE YOU, A COP? 419 00:25:55,587 --> 00:25:58,633 IS THAT WHAT I'M DEALING WITH HERE? 420 00:25:58,657 --> 00:26:00,157 NO, I'M NOT A COP. 421 00:26:03,762 --> 00:26:05,673 I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW IN AWE I AM. 422 00:26:05,697 --> 00:26:07,175 ALL THOSE LADIES, 423 00:26:07,199 --> 00:26:10,245 SO GRATEFUL FOR ONE LAST TASTE OF LIFE. 424 00:26:10,269 --> 00:26:13,181 WHAT DO YOU DO TO THEM? 425 00:26:13,205 --> 00:26:15,016 WHAT DO YOU SAY? 426 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:18,853 I DON'T WANT THEM TO GET A HOLD OF YOU. 427 00:26:18,877 --> 00:26:19,921 TEACH ME. 428 00:26:19,945 --> 00:26:21,356 THEM? WHO'S THEM? 429 00:26:21,380 --> 00:26:24,726 WHAT IS THIS, A CONSPIRACY? 430 00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:27,095 DON'T YOU SEE? THEY WANT YOU. 431 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,664 THEY USED ME TO BRING YOU. 432 00:26:29,688 --> 00:26:31,333 THEY'RE BEGGING ME. 433 00:26:31,357 --> 00:26:33,401 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 434 00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:35,336 MAN, THEY'RE COMING FOR YOU. RUN! 435 00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:38,273 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 436 00:26:38,297 --> 00:26:41,443 THERE'S A PENALTY FOR WASTING MY TIME. 437 00:26:41,467 --> 00:26:46,536 AAH... 438 00:26:52,277 --> 00:26:54,355 I GOT GOOD NEWS, EPHIE. 439 00:26:54,379 --> 00:26:56,847 YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE COMPANY. 440 00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:02,296 HEY. WHERE'D SHE GO? 441 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,700 I'M OVER HERE, HOWARD. 442 00:27:04,724 --> 00:27:09,626 I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME. 443 00:27:11,096 --> 00:27:12,607 EPHIE? 444 00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:15,243 I MISSED YOU. 445 00:27:15,267 --> 00:27:17,267 ME, TOO, HOWARD. 446 00:27:19,771 --> 00:27:20,816 MATILDA? 447 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:25,353 WE COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU. 448 00:27:25,377 --> 00:27:30,113 AND WE CAN'T DIE WITHOUT YOU. 449 00:27:31,283 --> 00:27:32,783 NO. NO. 450 00:27:37,789 --> 00:27:39,957 WHAT ABOUT ME? 451 00:27:43,295 --> 00:27:45,273 DON'T YOU RECOGNIZE ME, HOWARD? 452 00:27:45,297 --> 00:27:47,275 NO! NO! NO! 453 00:27:47,299 --> 00:27:48,944 IT'S ELIZABETH. 454 00:27:48,968 --> 00:27:51,713 OH! OH! ELIZABETH! 455 00:27:51,737 --> 00:27:53,348 AAH... 456 00:27:53,372 --> 00:27:54,872 AAH! CLARE! 457 00:27:59,544 --> 00:28:03,625 OH, MY GOD, NO! NO! NO! NO! 458 00:28:03,649 --> 00:28:07,329 AAH! AAH! 459 00:28:07,353 --> 00:28:10,164 NO! NO! AAH... AAH... 460 00:28:10,188 --> 00:28:14,168 AAH... AAH... 461 00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:17,361 AAH! 462 00:28:26,105 --> 00:28:29,217 NOW, THAT'S WHAT I CALL A HAPPY ENDING. 463 00:28:29,241 --> 00:28:32,587 I HAD A FEELING EPHIE WOULD WIN HOWARD'S HEART, 464 00:28:32,611 --> 00:28:34,655 NOT TO MENTION HIS SPLEEN, 465 00:28:34,679 --> 00:28:37,158 HIS KIDNEYS, AND HIS GALL BLADDER. 466 00:28:37,182 --> 00:28:39,660 AH HA HA HA! 467 00:28:39,684 --> 00:28:43,264 SO, WILL THERE BE ANYTHING ELSE? 468 00:28:44,689 --> 00:28:46,034 MMM. 469 00:28:46,058 --> 00:28:48,769 I LOVE A GHOUL WHO GIVES YOU HEAD 470 00:28:48,793 --> 00:28:50,472 AND THEN LETS YOU KEEP IT. 471 00:28:50,496 --> 00:28:55,009 AH HA HA HA HA! 472 00:28:55,033 --> 00:28:58,146 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. 473 00:28:58,170 --> 00:29:01,149 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE... www.ncicap.org... 474 00:29:01,173 --> 00:29:03,109 PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT 475 00:29:03,133 --> 00:29:04,853 PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE 31745

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