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1
00:00:04,588 --> 00:00:06,882
Yo, yo, yo.
2
00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:07,967
Sir, I just put your sop
in your office,
it's very hot, so...
3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:12,011
(RUSSELL SCREAMS)
4
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:14,014
...don't eat it yet. (S)
5
00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:14,974
(GROANS)
6
00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:18,018
Ah, it's too hot again.
7
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,648
Sir, I've told you,
if you were a bit
more patient
8
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,733
you wouldn't always
burn your tongue.
9
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:25,985
I know,
but it looks so good
I want it right now.
10
00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:26,819
Sir, stop, stop.
11
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:28,111
I can't!
12
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,323
It's too good...
What are you doing?
13
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,741
Here, I think this new n
will solve your problem.
14
00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:33,742
(GASPS)
15
00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:37,746
What, was it up
your butt or something?
16
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,665
No, just try it.
17
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:48,549
Mmm, perfect.
18
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:50,968
Now try your spoon agai.
19
00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:51,802
Okay.
20
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,095
(YELLS)
21
00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:57,516
Now mine.
22
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,102
(SLURPS)
Mmm, yummy.
23
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:03,480
And yours again.
24
00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:08,443
Ow!
25
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,865
What's going on here?
26
00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:15,409
Well, sir, I grew tired
of you always
burning your mouth
27
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,828
and spitting hot soup
into my face,
28
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:20,247
so I had a friend who
works in manufacturing
make that spoon.
29
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,624
How do it work?
30
00:01:25,044 --> 00:01:26,962
It's actually two small
spoons welded together
31
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:28,505
with a liquid cooling at
in between.
32
00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,257
Now, the spoon
cools the soup
33
00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:32,091
as you bring it
to your mouth.
34
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:32,843
(SLURPS)
35
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:36,638
It works.
It really works.
36
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,306
Yes, indeed.
37
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,809
And now, you're able
to enjoy your soup
38
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:44,855
and my face will
remain unscathed.
39
00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,481
See you later
and good riddance,
stupid old spoon.
40
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,025
(THUD)
Ow!
41
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,367
♪ How many ways
to say I love you?
42
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,748
♪ How many ways
to say that I'm not sc?
43
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:09,129
♪ With you by my side
There is no denying
44
00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:11,548
♪ I can't wait
for me and you ♪
45
00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:23,184
So, it's getting close
to baby time.
46
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:24,561
Do you have her room
all set up yet?
47
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,647
No. As usual,
Jeff's dragging his fee.
48
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:28,983
Getting him
to help is like
49
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:31,443
trying to make
a pile of water.
50
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,695
(AUDREY SIGHS)
51
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,238
I need him to move
the old furniture down
to the storage area,
52
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,949
and he keeps
getting distracted.
53
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:38,700
Mmm, Adam starts
out distracted
54
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:41,912
and just stays that way.
55
00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:44,164
I think I'm going
to have to resort
to my secret weapon,
56
00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:46,125
which, unfortunately, invols
great personal sacrific.
57
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:52,506
Maybe you should
just give him sex inste.
58
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:53,548
Sex is the sacrifice.
59
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:59,429
Ah, so you tell him
if he does what you wan,
you'll give him some.
60
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,389
Oh, God, no.
61
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,350
If I set that precedent,
62
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:07,395
he'd be demanding
sex every time I asked
him to pass the salt.
63
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,939
The key is,
I give him some,
64
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,607
then I ask him the favo.
65
00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:12,026
He's so relaxed
and agreeable,
66
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,192
he always says yes.
67
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:15,403
Hmm.
68
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,073
I wonder if that
would work with Adam.
69
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,534
I really want to get a ,
but he doesn't.
70
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,410
Try my system.
71
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,496
I don't know,
it sounds kind
of manipulative.
72
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:28,249
Mmm.
Spoken like a woman
without a dog.
73
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,460
All right, I'll try.
74
00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,587
Oh, here comes Jeff,
time to bait the trap.
75
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:33,547
Hey.
(SIGHS) Hey.
76
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,759
I just saw a guy
I thought was
Matthew Modine.
77
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:40,220
Wasn't.
78
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:47,435
So, uh, we going
to a movie tonight?
79
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,146
Uh, actually,
I thought maybe
we'd stay in.
80
00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:50,814
I could cook dinner,
81
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,900
maybe share
a bottle of wine?
82
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,943
Oh, well, that sounds
like a roadmap
83
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,779
whose destination
is the boudoir.
84
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,783
Seems that way, huh?
85
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,495
I hope you're watching.
86
00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:09,332
Learn a little something
about how to treat your man.
87
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:10,291
Oh, I am.
88
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:19,384
I'm going to go
pick out a leash.
89
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:20,552
RUSSELL: Hey.
90
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,929
Good, you're here.
91
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,722
What was so urgent, sir?
92
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,516
I can't stop thinking at
our soup spoon inventio.
93
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:27,601
"Our" invention?
94
00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:30,311
Yes, I'm giving you
full half-credit.
95
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,983
I've decided that
we can market it
and sell it.
96
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,236
Sir, I just had
the one made for you.
97
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,820
Yes, as usual you were
thinking too small.
98
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:39,780
Check this out.
99
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,495
"Cool Hand Soup"?
100
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:48,663
It's so catchy, man.
101
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:49,414
Bam!
102
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,045
Sir, why do you
suddenly want to be
in the spoon business?
103
00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:56,880
Ah, I'm sick of riding
my father's coattails.
104
00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:58,966
It's time for me to shi.
105
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:01,509
Good for you, sir.
106
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,720
I'm very pleased to hear you
so excited about such
a legitimate business ventu.
107
00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:04,846
Yeah, thank you, Tim.
108
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:07,599
It's good to finally
have something
109
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:11,061
that's completely mine
for once, you know?
110
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:12,187
Actually, ours.
111
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,398
Easy, Tim, remember
there's no "you" in "te"
112
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,049
Nice work, sir.
113
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:41,883
I know.
114
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:45,595
Yeah, I, uh, I did that.
115
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,515
(LAUGHING)
You certainly did.
116
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:52,769
Speaking of doing thing,
do you think maybe you could
117
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,938
get to cleaning
the storage area,
118
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,273
and moving
the second bedroom
furniture down there?
119
00:05:56,315 --> 00:06:03,071
Absolutely.
Consider it done.
120
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:03,947
Too easy.
121
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:07,659
(BOTH SIGH)
122
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,036
Whoo!
123
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,621
That's what
I'm talkin' about.
124
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:12,747
You did talk a lot.
125
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:14,916
(EXHALES)
126
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:15,750
So, um,
127
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,671
you know
how I mentioned
getting a pet?
128
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,421
Yeah?
129
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,008
Don't you think
it's a great idea?
130
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,634
Sure, let's do it.
131
00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:26,636
Really?
Well, that's great.
132
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,930
So I was thinking...
But not a dog.
133
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:29,806
A bird.
134
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:31,516
What?
135
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:33,643
Why do you want
to get a bird?
136
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:34,602
I don't know.
137
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:36,813
Just 'cause.
138
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:37,564
(COOING)
139
00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:44,071
Yeah.
140
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,782
Yeah, the website's
going to sell spoons.
141
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:50,660
How much
storage capability?
142
00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:52,787
I don't know,
up the wazoo
is what I'll need, I gu.
143
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:54,998
Okay, Jim, see ya.
144
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,086
(LAUGHS) Making spoon deals,
Timmy, it's very exciti.
145
00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,215
Idea, contact Ricky Schroder
about endorsement deal.
146
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,388
So, sir, I see
you've gone ahead and
formed a business plan.
147
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:10,680
I have, we're gonna
launch a website,
148
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:11,973
then post a sales video on .
149
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:17,979
I'm gonna get more tail
than the guy that
invented the spork.
150
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,898
And where exactly
are we getting
this sales video?
151
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:20,941
Oh, we're gonna do it.
152
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,235
We'll make it.
153
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:25,028
I'll be the director
and executive producer.
154
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:28,240
And what will I be?
155
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:30,158
You're a good kid, Timm,
we'll find something fo.
156
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,034
And, sir,
157
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,704
you're confident you possess
the necessary skills to shot
a professional video?
158
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:35,455
Of course.
159
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:42,587
I learned quite a bit
that week I spent at
soft-core fantasy camp.
160
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:46,007
And we'll shoot it
on the video equipment
we'll take from my bedroom.
161
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:46,800
Your bedroom?
162
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,762
But won't the camera
be ruined after I boil ?
163
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:51,638
Ha, ha.
164
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,433
Idea, try to bang new
receptionist in lobby.
165
00:07:55,267 --> 00:08:01,689
I can't turn it off, Ti.
166
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:05,235
You know,
these storage lockers
would make great aviari.
167
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:07,070
Let's try to focus.
168
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:08,322
I've got to get this
all cleaned out for Aud.
169
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:09,030
Gotcha.
170
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,784
So, I've narrowed it don
to a macaw or
an African Grey parrot.
171
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:17,372
Why don't you narrow
it down even further...
172
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:18,290
to a dog.
173
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:21,793
Dude, birds are great p.
174
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,795
They're loyal,
they lick your face,
175
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,464
they show up
at the front door
176
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:28,716
with their little
tail feathers wagging.
177
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,052
You do know what
a bird is, right?
178
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:31,845
Yes.
179
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:37,267
And Jen tried to get me
to agree to a dog
right after we had sex.
180
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:39,519
Like I owe her
some big favor
after rocking her world.
181
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:45,275
I don't know where
she got that idea.
182
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:46,151
Wait a minute.
183
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:49,946
Speaking of doing thing,
do you think maybe you could
184
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:51,906
get to cleaning
the storage area,
185
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,700
and moving
the second bedroom
furniture down there?
186
00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:58,579
Absolutely.
Consider it done.
187
00:08:58,621 --> 00:08:59,456
Really?
188
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:01,791
Audrey uses that with y?
189
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,418
Yeah, and, uh, you know,
190
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,963
I think she's been
doing it for a hell
of a long time.
191
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,218
Is it all right if
my parents stay with us
for a couple of weeks?
192
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,219
Good by me.
193
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,392
Mmm. What do you say
we shave this goatee?
194
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:19,893
It's gone.
195
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,063
(SIGHS)
196
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:27,859
Boy,
we've been dating
a while, huh?
197
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:28,943
Shouldn't we get marrie?
198
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:33,114
Yeah, sure, why not?
199
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,282
(CHUCKLING)
200
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:37,244
Wow, that scam has
been pretty good to her.
201
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:40,788
Are you going to go
bust her right now?
202
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:41,498
No.
203
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,376
Revenge is a dish
best served...
204
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:46,711
after I get some.
205
00:09:57,556 --> 00:10:00,183
Oh, hey.
Hey.
206
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,560
Did you, uh,
get the storage area
all cleaned up?
207
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,477
As promised.
208
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,773
So, did all the stuff
from the baby's room
fit down there?
209
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:07,899
I don't know.
210
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:11,486
I, uh, didn't move it.
211
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:15,907
Are you gonna
do it soon?
212
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:19,202
Nah, I kind of
ran out of steam.
213
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,203
But I'll get to it.
214
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:22,163
Maybe.
215
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:26,501
Maybe? (LAUGHS)
216
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,546
But last night, you kno,
after we, uh...
217
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:30,880
Yeah, I know,
but listen...
218
00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,677
Cleaning out the locker
just got me a little te.
219
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:44,769
Well, um, you want me
to get you
a couple of aspirin?
220
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,146
I don't think
that will do it.
221
00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:50,233
(JEFF SIGHS)
222
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:52,402
Well, why don't we go
to the bedroom,
223
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:54,654
and I'll give you
a nice massage.
224
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,406
What a delightful
and unexpected idea.
225
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:07,626
Hey, Timmy.
226
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:09,710
Oh, hello Mr. Rhodes.
227
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:11,921
What brings you here?
228
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,548
Oh, Russell told me
to come by.
229
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:16,635
I'm starring in a movie
or something.
230
00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:18,219
Well, it's not
actually a movie,
231
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,473
it's a web video
to try and sell spoons.
232
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:22,849
Eh, still getting
my foot in the door.
233
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,894
And this is the set.
234
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,938
That's Hollywood talk fr
the place we'll be film.
235
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,106
It's pretty maj.
236
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,399
Wow.
Yeah.
237
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,445
In fact, Meryl Streep
got her start in a video
very much like this one.
238
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:38,573
Who's Meryl Streep?
239
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,325
(LAUGHS) I don't know,
I'm too busy watching
the Twilight films,
240
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,576
they're good.
241
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,828
These guys are my lacke.
242
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:44,871
Lackeys, this is Amber.
243
00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:47,207
Hi. It's Adam, actually.
244
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:48,375
Hi.
245
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:50,793
I gotta go potty.
246
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:51,919
Oh, aren't you adorable?
247
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:56,007
Well, it's right out th.
248
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,800
Sir, who exactly is she?
249
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,970
She was my counselor
at soft-core fantasy ca.
250
00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:04,474
I promised her
a role in the movie.
251
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,309
Is she my co-star?
252
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:10,104
'Cause I thought
we had great chemistry.
253
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:13,024
Mr. Dunbar, I thought
you were taking this
business venture seriou.
254
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,693
Timmy, are you
doubting Amber's ability
255
00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:18,655
to add value
to our sales video?
256
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:20,865
Russell?
I couldn't find the pot,
257
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:24,411
and I think
I lost one of my shoes.
258
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:25,412
Well, are you?
259
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:32,627
Whew.
Wow.
260
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,254
(CHUCKLES)
261
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,717
That massage got away
from you pretty quickly.
262
00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:40,260
Yeah. I just
couldn't control myself.
263
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,137
Two days in a row.
264
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:46,057
Haven't done that
in a while.
265
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,267
Yup.
266
00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:51,229
It's going to be tough
to say good-bye
to that streak.
267
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,980
Well, I owe you, hon.
268
00:12:53,772 --> 00:12:56,150
Oh, you don't have to...
269
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,152
Mmm,
you know, actually,
it would be nice
270
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,572
if you could move
that furniture into
the storage area.
271
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,822
I could
definitely do that.
272
00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:03,658
But I don't feel like i.
273
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:04,492
Great.
274
00:13:05,784 --> 00:13:06,661
Wait, what?
275
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:11,082
Well, I don't...
(SIGHS)
276
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,918
I don't feel like i.
277
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:14,753
But...
278
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:20,300
it would make me so hap,
my big, strong man.
279
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,510
Drop the act, sister.
280
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,096
I'm on to you.
281
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:30,602
Whatever are
you talking about?
282
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:32,228
You give me sex,
and then you ask me
to do things.
283
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,357
(LAUGHS) Jeff,
I have no idea what you.
284
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,486
Don't embarrass yoursel.
285
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:40,903
You've had a good run,
286
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:42,280
but it's over.
287
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,409
Nicely played.
288
00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:51,164
You got the sex first.
289
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:54,375
Well, I wasn't
married yesterday.
290
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:55,251
I win.
291
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,879
Mmm, except,
that most of the sex yot
292
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,800
is based on my system
of needing you to do th,
293
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:02,883
which is now over.
294
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:14,771
I win a little less.
295
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:16,648
What are you doing?
296
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:20,151
Just reading this latest
issue of Birds USA.
297
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,986
Hey, check out
the crest on this
Northern Lapland, huh?
298
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:24,656
Whoa.
299
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:27,534
Yeah, you like
what you see?
300
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:28,284
I do.
301
00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:33,914
That plumage would
definitely attract a ma.
302
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:34,708
Well, too bad.
303
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,001
What do you mean?
304
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,586
I mean that until
you agree to get a dog,
305
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,129
I'm withholding sex.
306
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:41,172
(SCOFFS)
Good luck.
307
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:45,719
What do you mean,
"good luck"?
308
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,054
You want it
as much as I do.
309
00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:49,556
Plus, I mean, come on.
310
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:53,560
Look at this, huh?
311
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:54,894
There's no way
you can resist this.
312
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:01,984
Huh?
313
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:03,944
Flat-ish stomach.
314
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:06,865
Perfect amount
of chest hair.
315
00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:12,746
Oopsie.
316
00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:15,206
Did I drop something?
317
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:18,668
Oh, yeah?
318
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:20,795
Well, I can
drop stuff too.
319
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:27,343
Huh?
320
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,683
Check out these tight b.
321
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:34,434
Oh, what?
322
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:38,229
Did somebody say,
"silken, creamy thighs"?
323
00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:40,356
We're getting a bird.
324
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:41,441
We're getting a dog.
325
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:42,483
A bird.
Dog.
326
00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:43,359
Bird!
Dog!
327
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:56,956
Aw, look at
this little guy,
hey, hey there.
328
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:07,592
Just so you know,
neither of these are
allowed in the building.
329
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:08,468
Oh, hey.
Hey.
330
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:12,513
Listen, I've been thinkg
about my whole system
331
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:15,308
of, you know,
me doing stuff,
so you'll do stuff,
332
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:16,810
I don't know, maybe
it's good that it's ove.
333
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:17,644
How so?
334
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,521
Well, from now on,
if I ask you to do somethin,
335
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,483
you'll do it because
you love and support me.
336
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,735
And if we have sex,
337
00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:28,446
it will be solely
as an expression
of our love for each ot.
338
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:33,701
(BOTH LAUGHING)
339
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:41,334
Oh, my God,
340
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:44,963
I can't believe
I got through that
with a straight face.
341
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,840
Yeah, listen, I think
I've come up with, um,
342
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,300
something a little
bit more realistic.
343
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,468
Hmm.
344
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:56,766
I have put together
a pretty comprehensive
"sex for chores" list.
345
00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:01,646
"Sex for chores"?
Isn't that a little cra?
346
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,731
A little, yes.
347
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:05,399
But I think it'll really
streamline our marriage
348
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,237
all the way up
until we're dead.
349
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,739
Hmm, all right,
whatever gets us there.
350
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:12,657
Right? Okay.
351
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:15,743
So, look, all right,
352
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:18,872
I know that you want me
to move all the second
bedroom stuff
353
00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:19,455
down to the
storage locker.
354
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:20,164
I do.
355
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:25,085
Okay, well,
let's look at the chart.
356
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,630
Under "Household
chores/heavy lifting"
357
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,050
and this is the act that
you'd have to perform.
358
00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:38,766
That seems
a little excessive.
359
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,768
Well, let's just check t
the conversion chart...
360
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:49,652
and you'll see
that one of those
equals two of these.
361
00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:54,032
Lady's choice.
362
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,123
I've never felt
more like a lady.
363
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,629
How about instead
I give you this.
364
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:15,344
Oh, please,
I can do that myself.
365
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:18,806
In fact, let's just
cross this one out.
366
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,058
I'm better at it anyway.
367
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:28,524
You know, sometimes
you are so annoying,
I wish you'd just shut .
368
00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:29,943
I will...
369
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:38,993
if you do this.
370
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,954
All right, you guys have
the honor of seeing
the world premiere
371
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,331
of the video that's goig
to launch my new busine.
372
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:45,541
Our new business.
373
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,418
My new business.
374
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,252
Feast your eyes.
375
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,797
You love
steaming hot soup.
376
00:18:57,011 --> 00:18:58,304
But hate the nightmare
of eating it.
377
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,984
And waiting for it to c,
who has that kind of ti?
378
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:12,151
(CLOCK TICKING)
379
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:24,246
You try cooling it
with ice cubes.
380
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:25,372
(HARP STRINGS CHIME)
381
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,334
But that just makes
it cold and watery.
382
00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:35,299
We can use
the other shot again...
383
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,635
The problem is
your old, outdated spoo.
384
00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:38,970
But wait,
385
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:41,388
there's a better way.
386
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:42,932
(MUSICAL CHIME)
387
00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:53,359
That's right,
it's Cool Hand Soup.
388
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,735
The new Cool Hand Soup spoo.
389
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:59,115
Don't let regular spoons
destroy your life anymo.
390
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:11,335
Okay,
got the camera set up
on the tripod here.
391
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:14,505
All right. Let's get
a little weird this tim.
392
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:15,339
(GIGGLES)
Ooh!
393
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:20,219
We can edit that out.
394
00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:31,605
All right, that really
didn't work for me.
395
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:33,107
I think we need
a chunkier soup.
396
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:39,238
Do we have a chowder?
397
00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:41,323
That's better, but, uh,
let's try a minestrone.
398
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:47,580
All right, all righ,
just, wait, wait...
399
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:49,456
You know, I liked that.
400
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:51,042
But you know what,
let's do one more
tomato again.
401
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:57,297
All right, I'm done...
402
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:58,966
Okay, all right,
we're ready to shoot th.
28132
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