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1
00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:04,254
So, Russell,
2
00:00:04,296 --> 00:00:06,674
what is the latest
with you and Liz?
3
00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:09,259
One day, you're into it,
the next you want a divorce.
4
00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:14,222
It's been a real
roller-coaster
of who-gives-a-crap.
5
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:16,934
Listen, I think I can
make this marriage work.
6
00:00:16,976 --> 00:00:18,727
I mean,
I can't keep chasing
teenagers forever.
7
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:24,608
In five or 10 years,
it might start to
look pathetic.
8
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:25,985
Yes,
only time will tell.
9
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,196
I'm gonna leave
Audrey a voicemail.
10
00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:32,199
How do you know
she won't pick up?
11
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:36,662
Oh, I can't tell you th.
It's a guy secret.
12
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,956
I already know how to
pee in the kitchen sink.
13
00:00:38,998 --> 00:00:40,541
You know what,
just tell her.
14
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,125
I mean,
she eats like a horse,
15
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:45,921
and, uh, she always
wants to do it.
16
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:48,883
She's the closest
thing to a guy that
relationship's got.
17
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:49,884
All right.
18
00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:52,469
There's this phone app
called Shy Dial.
19
00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:53,554
Shy Dial!
20
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,974
Which will automatically
send your calls
21
00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:58,559
to the other
person's voicemail.
22
00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,727
Your phone
never even rings.
23
00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:02,563
I get credit
for calling Audrey
24
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:05,024
without having
to talk to her.
25
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,817
You actually go
out of your way
26
00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:08,276
to avoid a conversation
with your spouse?
27
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,528
Well, that's not new.
28
00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:14,074
But now technology has
finally caught up with .
29
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:18,996
Oh, hey, Audrey,
went to voicemail again.
30
00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:24,209
I know you wanted
to discuss paint colors
for the baby's room,
31
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,794
which I was really
looking forward to.
32
00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:29,006
(GRUNTS) Frustrating!
33
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,221
Shy Dial.
Shy Dial!
34
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,391
(CELL PHONE BEEPING)
35
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,475
Voicemail?
36
00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:44,312
Never even
heard it ring.
37
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:46,899
Jeff: One.
Audrey: Several thousan.
38
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:55,407
But I am gaining.
39
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,284
♪ How many ways
to say I love you?
40
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:03,164
♪ How many ways
to say that I'm not sc?
41
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:09,212
♪ With you by my side
There is no denying
42
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,007
♪ I can't wait
for me and you ♪
43
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,561
Ah, Mr. And Mrs. Dunbar.
44
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,939
How was the
shopping excursion?
45
00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,941
Thorough. We hit
every boy's department
on Fifth Avenue.
46
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,445
We even went
to a store called Saks
47
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:37,324
where you should shop
because you need one.
48
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:38,784
A stinging rebuke from
a man holding a purse.
49
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:44,081
Go try on that striped p
we picked out, darling.
50
00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:47,375
We'll give Timmy
a little fashion show.
51
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,044
Well done, Mrs. Dunbar.
52
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:51,005
You've transformed
a rotting he-goat
53
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,422
into a domesticated
one-woman man.
54
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,428
Oh, you know, Tim,
I've come to realize tht
55
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:02,516
I'm the one with needs
no one man can fully satisf.
56
00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:11,066
(IMITATING COMPUTER)
You've got mail.
57
00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:14,319
It seems as though
I've got mail.
58
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:17,114
Face it, my spicy
man of the east.
59
00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:19,282
Something yummy passed
between us during that ,
60
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:22,577
and it wasn't
just my sucret.
61
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,121
Mrs. Dunbar,
I think you'll find that
62
00:03:24,163 --> 00:03:26,581
that was, in fact,
a misunderstanding.
63
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,625
Then why
can't I stop thinking
64
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,794
about your
hot vindaloo in my
welcoming tandoor oven?
65
00:03:34,213 --> 00:03:37,176
Well, thank you
for ethnically tailoring
that filthy metaphor.
66
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:46,518
Ah, look who's back.
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
67
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:50,105
These pants
are kind of itchy.
68
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:51,773
Well, my pants
are getting all itchy
69
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:55,276
just checking you out,
you're so hot.
70
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,988
Well, handsome men,
I'm off to the spa
for some deforestation.
71
00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:14,254
Excuse me. Hi.
72
00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:17,132
I need to
return this jacket.
73
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,467
Okay. And, uh,
why are we returning it?
74
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,470
Well, I decided
I didn't want it.
75
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,557
Let's just
leave it at that.
76
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,559
Well, I have to
put down a reason.
77
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,561
Fine.
If you must know,
I was teased.
78
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,690
You know,
made fun of?
79
00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:35,234
Why?
It's a classic blue bla.
80
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,029
Yes. Yes,
but people said
things like "lame jacke"
81
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:42,532
and "here comes
Captain Dandy of
the S.S. Fancy Boy."
82
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:48,122
And then some joke
about seamen which
I don't wanna tell you
83
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,165
because I know
I'll just wreck it.
84
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:51,291
Okay. Wow.
85
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,293
Um, what's your name?
Adam.
86
00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:55,921
Hey, Adam. Chris.
Hey.
87
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,423
And I gotta say,
I don't get it.
88
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,384
If anything,
this jacket's too
conservative for you.
89
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,178
Do me a favor.
Try this one.
90
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,390
You could
carry off a much more
fashion-forward look.
91
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:13,605
Oh, nice!
92
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,858
I don't know.
93
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,153
There's no way
I could wear this
in front of the guys.
94
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:20,445
And my fiance.
95
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,825
Why do you give them
so much power?
96
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:32,874
You look awesome in thi.
97
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:34,459
Damn it, Chris,
when you're right,
you're right.
98
00:05:40,299 --> 00:05:42,009
I called you
from the paint store.
99
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:46,263
When you called me back,
it went to my voicemail aga.
100
00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:47,472
Finally I just had to
pick a paint color myse.
101
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:48,473
So irritating.
102
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:54,021
How do you think I feel?
I didn't even
get to weigh in.
103
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,272
Are we a team, or not?
104
00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,734
All right
I gotta get to work,
105
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,361
but there are plenty moe
baby furniture decisions
you can be a part of.
106
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,156
Okay.
I will call to discuss.
107
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,448
You leave
your phone on, you.
108
00:06:09,368 --> 00:06:15,416
Thanks for coming
to support me, Chris.
109
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,417
Wow.
110
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:18,545
Good luck.
111
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:25,177
(SCOFFS) Who needs luck
when you're dressed
like a superstar?
112
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,180
You rock, buddy.
113
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:42,777
New jacket?
114
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,490
Yes, thanks to
my new friend Chris.
115
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:52,411
And it's awesome.
116
00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:54,081
Anyway,
Chris and I are gonna
go sit over there now,
117
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,083
and be nice
to each other.
118
00:06:56,124 --> 00:07:02,589
'Cause that's what
real friends do.
119
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:06,593
What the hell
just happened?
120
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:08,511
I kind of spaced out
in the middle
121
00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:11,431
but I think Adam bought
a new lady safari jacke.
122
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:18,855
And he may have
named it Chris.
123
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:20,982
Did you see that?
124
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,817
Your confidence
took away their power
to make fun of you.
125
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,278
Yes, yes.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
126
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:25,195
Hold on.
127
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:30,825
Oh, hey, Jeff.
128
00:07:33,412 --> 00:07:34,204
Uh-huh.
129
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,292
Okay.
130
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:51,638
They took some of
the power away.
131
00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:53,432
What'd he say?
132
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,933
He wanted to know
when I needed to be back
133
00:07:54,975 --> 00:08:02,899
at the bird show
at Busch Gardens.
134
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:08,447
You don't have
to take that. Come on.
135
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:12,326
Hey, it's the maitre d'
at the Rainforest Cafe.
136
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,452
Seriously?
137
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,705
Like you have a leg
to stand on criticizing
anyone's appearance.
138
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,333
I mean,
call off the search.
I found Waldo.
139
00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:32,220
What are you
laughing at,
Optimus Primate?
140
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:33,847
Sears Roebuck
called and wants
its $90 suit back.
141
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,725
Apparently there's
a teacher from 1970
who needs to get to wor.
142
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,063
That's all right.
143
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:45,566
They've already
been served.
144
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:51,990
Let's go, Adam.
145
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,241
Where the hell is Jeff?
146
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,119
He promised we'd go
look at cribs today.
147
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,871
You guys are moving?
148
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,080
No. Cribs.
For the baby.
149
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,084
Oh, 'cause,
you know, it also means.
150
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:05,504
Yes, yes. I get it.
You're young.
151
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,796
All right, well,
see you later.
152
00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:07,714
Bye.
153
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:12,552
(CELL PHONE BEEPING)
154
00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:14,346
Voicemail? Again?
155
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,309
Oh, darn it,
I missed you again.
156
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:22,603
Uh, anyway,
I stopped by a bar
to catch the game,
157
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,315
but you mentioned
shopping for baby stuff,
158
00:09:25,357 --> 00:09:27,108
which sounds fun, too.
159
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,653
What to do?
160
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:35,534
Well,
baby's due in five mont.
Game's on now, so
161
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:41,081
I guess that
solved itself, huh?
162
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,333
What the hell is
wrong with this thing?
163
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:49,464
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
164
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,215
Hey, Timmy.
165
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:53,427
Mrs. Bingham, hello. Um.
166
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,303
I was hoping
to ask your advice
167
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:58,306
regarding a matter
of utmost delicacy.
168
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,141
Uh, well,
I was gonna go
check out some cribs, b.
169
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:05,021
You're thinking of movi?
170
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:06,814
Uh, for the baby.
171
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,192
Oh. You see,
it also has another...
172
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,611
Yes, yes.
It has two meanings.
173
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:12,737
Okay. What's going on?
174
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:16,241
Well, um, Liz,
of Russell and Liz
175
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:21,288
recently began making
advances toward me.
176
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,377
Oh, my God. Uh...
177
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,673
Well, obviously,
Timmy, you just have
to tell her to back off.
178
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,842
(SIGHS) Well,
Mrs. Bingham, I've trie,
179
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:39,347
but she's clearly in
the grips of an obsessi.
180
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:41,141
My lips,
I'm afraid, once tasted,
181
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:45,853
are a highly
addictive opiate.
182
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,606
Once you go brown,
you keep comin' around.
183
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:58,617
Isn't that the UPS slog?
184
00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,742
All right.
Okay. Well,
185
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,330
I think it's clear,
now you need to say
something to Russell.
186
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:04,289
Yes, quite right.
187
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,168
No point in
putting it off
any further, I suppose.
188
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,172
He texted me earlier,
and I Shy Dialed him bak
189
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:15,467
so I could avoid
having to speak to him.
190
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:16,426
You did what?
191
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:20,347
Shy Dialed.
It's this app that sends
your calls to voicemail
192
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:31,899
so you don't have
to talk to people.
193
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,318
You son of a bitch.
194
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,411
I was impressed
with you back there, Ad.
195
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,372
Standing up to your
narrow-minded friends.
196
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:48,124
Ah,
couldn't have done it
without you, dude.
197
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,668
Well, wait till they
check out your latest l.
198
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:57,925
Amazing.
199
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,720
I'm not that sold.
200
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,181
I'm a suit.
With shorts.
201
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:07,143
It's actually a culotte.
202
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:10,522
Dude, I know it's cool .
That's why I'm worried
about wearing the short.
203
00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:13,274
Plus, you know, man,
it's pretty steep.
204
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,985
Can you really
put a price on
looking your best?
205
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:18,279
In six months,
you're gonna see
this look all over town.
206
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:22,701
Look, I know my friends
are gonna find something
to make fun of, okay?
207
00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:23,702
They're clever that way.
208
00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:29,624
Screw those guys.
Plus, I'll be there
to shut 'em up.
209
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:33,587
You have
not steered me
wrong yet, Christo.
210
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:34,837
And I never will.
211
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:39,967
Bam!
212
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:51,396
Oh, no, Jeff,
straight to voicemail a.
213
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,817
And I really
needed to reach you.
214
00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,820
Remember my friend
Betsy from college?
215
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:07,078
Remember that thing
you always hoped would
happen with the three of us?
216
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:13,376
Well, she stopped by,
we opened a bottle of w,
217
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:17,088
and it might
actually happen
if we can find you.
218
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,341
Get home
as fast as you can.
219
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:22,260
Threesome?
220
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:26,473
(WHISPERS) Threesome.
221
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:29,684
I need my check.
222
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:31,936
Sure, just a second.
No, I need it right now.
223
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,021
My wife is
offering a threesome
with her hot college fr.
224
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,398
Go! It's covered!
Thanks, man.
225
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,652
Clear the way,
he's got a threesome!
226
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:40,194
Threesome comin' throug!
227
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:46,367
How big is this!
All right, go on!
228
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,368
Mr. Dunbar?
229
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,079
Mr. Dunbar?
230
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,084
Hello, Timothy.
231
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,920
Where's Mr. Dunbar?
232
00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,922
He sent me a text
to meet him here.
233
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,468
(GASPS)
Ooh, that was me.
I stole his phone.
234
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,930
You'll never guess
what I've got on
under this coat.
235
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,182
Lots of layers?
236
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,518
Maybe something
with a drawstring
237
00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,394
that has a stubborn
knot in it?
238
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,021
Nothing. Nada.
239
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,107
Except, of course,
my Spanx.
240
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,947
Mrs. Dunbar,
what of your husband?
241
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:27,158
Oh, please.
He can't keep up with m.
242
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,618
I've been
grinding the poor guy
down to a nub.
243
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:29,744
Now come on.
244
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,413
If you don't waste
time with foreplay,
245
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:35,625
you'll be in and out
like Seal Team 6.
246
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:36,543
(GASPS)
247
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,171
I'm so sorry.
Was Osama your guy?
248
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:43,132
No, of course not.
249
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,802
Either way,
it's not a deal-breaker.
250
00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:49,305
RUSSELL: Timmy.
251
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:50,223
Timmy, you here?
252
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:52,851
Tim...
253
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:54,977
Liz.
254
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,772
Hello, Russell.
255
00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:59,607
What's going on here?
I came back
to look for my phone,
256
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,150
and you're standing
here in the dark?
257
00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:03,778
I stole your phone
and came to your office
258
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,739
on the chance
that you might
come looking for it.
259
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:09,116
Uh, so we could
do it on your desk.
260
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:13,747
Well, that makes...
261
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,833
Total sense, yeah!
Let's do it!
262
00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:32,766
Audrey, I'm here.
263
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,143
Audrey? Betsy?
So you started without ?
264
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,234
That's all right.
I'm not, I'm not mad.
265
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,152
Audrey, Audrey.
266
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:47,280
Where is she?
267
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:50,450
Gee, I don't know, Jeff.
Why don't you Shy Dial her?
268
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,299
I'm getting a strong
feeling that, uh,
269
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:09,886
Betsy's not
actually in there.
270
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,807
But
271
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:21,439
I owe it to myself
to at least check.
272
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,023
(RUSSELL GRUNTING)
273
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,567
LIZ: What's my name?
RUSSELL: Mommy!
274
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:25,777
What's my name?
Mommy!
275
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:29,781
Oh, wait, mommy,
my back's giving out.
276
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,532
Just, uh, you know,
maybe you get on top?
277
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,368
Of course, lover.
Not too bouncy, though,
278
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,537
I'm still
burping up that
turkey chili from dinne.
279
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:37,831
Okay, now
I got a better idea.
280
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,081
I'm gonna stand up, oka?
281
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,626
So wait,
you slide over here...
282
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,169
(SCREAMING)
283
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,716
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
284
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:53,972
What, Jeff?
285
00:16:54,931 --> 00:17:00,895
See, it didn't
go to voicemail.
286
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,229
I uninstalled
the Shy Dial.
287
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,442
Well, good for you.
That fixes everything.
288
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:12,699
You're still mad.
289
00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:16,536
Look,
it's not like I don't
like talking to you,
290
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:19,914
it's just that sometimes
you drag me into things
291
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:21,582
that aren't
that interesting,
like, uh, paint colors,
292
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:22,709
or how your day was.
293
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:24,752
(CHUCKLES)
294
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,840
Uh, how many times
have you talked my leg f
295
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:31,300
about the stupid
Mets bullpen?
296
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:33,052
Or that the
meat-lovers' pizza
went up by a dollar?
297
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,515
That was
a slap in the face.
298
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:41,310
They know that
we're meat-lovers.
299
00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,187
They have us
over a barrel.
300
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,981
Yes, we've had
this conversation,
301
00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:47,734
and never once
have I cared about it.
302
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,736
But I pretended to,
because that's what
you do in a marriage.
303
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,029
You pretend to care.
304
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,743
You know, back when
we were first married
305
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,789
I pretended
all the time.
306
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:02,832
I guess
I just got lazy.
307
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:05,459
That's on me.
308
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:08,546
So, uh, tell me stuff.
Go ahead.
309
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:11,173
No, you don't have to.
310
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,550
I insist.
Tell me about your day.
311
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:13,593
And as far as you know,
312
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:15,511
I will care.
313
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:21,642
All right.
I'll take it.
314
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:22,727
Well, uh, for starters,
315
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:27,189
I think today I found us
a beautiful crib.
316
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:35,949
With a baby on the way,
I don't think it's
the right time to move.
317
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:38,993
So,
given the circumstances,
318
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:42,997
Liz and I have agreed
to get a divorce.
319
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,208
Circumstances
being that she
tried to nail Timmy,
320
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:50,088
but then
nailed you with Timmy
underneath your desk.
321
00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,345
It was right there
in front of my face.
322
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,309
That's too bad.
You were just starting
to like being married.
323
00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:04,268
I tried.
324
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:07,229
But the whole thing
was a joke.
325
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:08,773
I mean, come on,
it was never gonna work.
326
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,942
Mere inches from my fac.
327
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:25,706
What's going on?
328
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:30,086
Why are you dressed
like a gay four-year-ol?
329
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,882
Where are they holding
the Willy Wonka auditio?
330
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,553
Mock all you want.
331
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:42,849
When Chris gets here,
he's gonna shove it
in your face.
332
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:49,313
Please don't
phrase it that way.
333
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,107
Oh, wow,
he should actually
be here by now.
334
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,151
He's pretty eager
to back me up.
335
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,236
(CELL PHONE BEEPING)
336
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,698
Oh. Chris called. Hmm.
337
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,909
Hey, Adam, listen,
something came up today,
338
00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:04,162
and I'm kind of busy, s.
339
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,621
I'll probably just
see you around.
340
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,999
Good luck
with the clothes.
341
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:09,291
Thank you, Shy Dial.
342
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:15,422
Whoa, that is fierce!
343
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:18,384
Told you, dude.
344
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:19,969
Cash or charge?
345
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:28,519
Hey, listen, this thing
that happened today,
it's still nagging at m.
346
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,229
Well, you wanna
talk about it some more?
347
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:31,064
I do.
This threesome
with Betsy...
348
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,065
Forget it.
349
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,946
That is never,
never gonna happen.
350
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:41,866
Oh, interesting.
I only heard two "never.
351
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:49,165
That's one less
than before.
352
00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:51,250
It's pretty pathetic,
but if you wanna
hang your hopes on that,
353
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:54,879
then knock yourself out.
354
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,089
He got one less "never"!
355
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:57,965
(ALL CHEERING)
26039
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