All language subtitles for Rules.of.Engagement.S06E01.1080p.WEB.X264-EDHD_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,836 --> 00:00:02,837 Hmm. 2 00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:08,634 How is the French toast? 3 00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:11,804 So good you'll think you're in Paris. 4 00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:13,555 Really? 5 00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:15,808 Look, this is a diner. 6 00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:17,810 We got an ex-con back there 7 00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:19,436 slinging three-day-old bread on a dirty grill. 8 00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:25,693 (MOCKING) How's the French toast... 9 00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:27,945 She is not a fan of yours. 10 00:00:27,987 --> 00:00:29,404 She's jumping on the bandwagon. 11 00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:33,158 We've been there since the beginning. 12 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,994 Friends, Mr. Dunbar is right behind me. 13 00:00:35,995 --> 00:00:37,496 Oh, please do yourselves a favor 14 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,623 and ask him how his cruise went. 15 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,792 Hey, if it isn't the cat of Cirque Du So Lame. 16 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,338 Hey. So how was your cruise? 17 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,214 Great! 18 00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:50,300 How are you guys? That's the important th. 19 00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,219 Oh, how is the new job going? 20 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,763 Wait, sir... 21 00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,181 Are you sure there's nothing more you wish to share 22 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,432 about your high seas adventure? 23 00:00:58,017 --> 00:00:58,934 Uh, oh, yeah. 24 00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:01,562 Ran into someone I used to know. 25 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:05,566 It's actually no big deal. Hmm... 26 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:07,026 Well, hello there, youngish lady. 27 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,451 Well, hello, Russell. 28 00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,831 Oh, for (FOGHORN BLOWS) sak! 29 00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:23,417 Liz? 30 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,836 God, what a small world. 31 00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,379 It's not that small. Liz fits in it. 32 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:32,217 Anyway, so that's my story. 33 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:33,677 Hmm, is it? 34 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,348 Nothing else happened of note? 35 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:40,475 I told you this in conf. You could be fired for . 36 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,143 I've long since given up on that fantasy. 37 00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,731 You know, if you're not going to tell it, 38 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,106 I'd be more than happy to... 39 00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:48,275 No, no, no. Fine, fine, fine, fine. 40 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:49,109 I got it. 41 00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:53,363 Okay, um, after a couple of mango-ritas, uh... 42 00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:58,077 Liz and I got into a classical nautical argument 43 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,412 which there's only one way to solve. 44 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,371 (BOTH SIGHING) 45 00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,334 You were right, lover. 46 00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:08,629 It was the motion of the ocean. 47 00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,883 You see, the size of the ship has nothing to do with . 48 00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,053 Prove it to me again, sailor. Oh. 49 00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:18,013 Permission to come aboard? 50 00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:18,847 Granted. 51 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:27,648 Oh, no thanks. 52 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,776 Can you wrap mine to go, please? 53 00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:35,656 Just throw mine away. 54 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:36,782 Well, that's the end of my story. 55 00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:37,574 Is it? 56 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,745 Is there not just a skosh more? 57 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:48,502 You know how sometimes you say something you really don't mean? 58 00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:51,046 Oh, I do. 59 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:56,259 I now pronounce you man and wife. 60 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:57,511 (HOWLS) 61 00:02:58,012 --> 00:02:58,887 (APPLAUSE) 62 00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:14,862 I only wish I could have been there to give you away. 63 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,411 ♪ How many ways to say I love you? 64 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,250 ♪ How many ways to say that I'm not sc? 65 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:35,298 ♪ With you by my side There is no denying 66 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,510 ♪ I can't wait for me and you ♪ 67 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,188 So you are married. 68 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,107 To Liz. 69 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,318 Our upstairs neighbor, Liz. 70 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,361 With seven cats. 71 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,489 All of whose names are on her outgoing message. 72 00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,576 Yeah, I mean but listen. 73 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,536 We were so drunk, it's not like it's real. 74 00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,123 There's my hubby. 75 00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:11,418 Look what you bought me. 76 00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:17,632 Here's the receipt. 77 00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:22,012 Congratulations, Liz. 78 00:04:22,054 --> 00:04:23,638 I'm sure you'll be very...something. 79 00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,810 Oh, yes, and we're going to have so much fun double-dating 80 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,311 now that we've each bagged our bucks. 81 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:34,608 Okay... 82 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:36,651 Not here. 83 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,822 The guy who mops up the vomit. 84 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:47,579 You might want to keep him on standby. 85 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:48,872 Liz, we had fun on that cruise. 86 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,416 That was a great time. 87 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,918 But this whole marriage thing. 88 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:55,420 That's... That's just a goof, right? 89 00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,549 You mean a beautiful gof that will join our lives together 90 00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:07,390 till the end of time? 91 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:10,978 I actually meant the other kind of goof. 92 00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:13,772 Anyway, I was just at the DMV getting a new license. 93 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:15,398 Notice anything? 94 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:20,070 That you lost 20 pounds while you were there? 95 00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:20,862 No, this. 96 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,740 Ah. You took Mr. Dunbar's name. 97 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,495 Yep. Elizabeth Kornblatt-Dun. 98 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,333 Wow, three names. I'm like Catherine Zeta-Jones. 99 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,255 In what way, exactly? 100 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:39,298 LMAO, Jeff. 101 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,094 Anyway, I've got an ingrown toenail that needs excavating. 102 00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:48,307 So I will swing by your oficina for lunch. 103 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:49,348 Okay. 104 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:50,725 Soul mate. 105 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,189 ♪ Meow, meow, meow ♪ 106 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,449 I cannot believe that Russell and Liz got married. 107 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:07,117 I know. 108 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:09,828 It's hard to figure out who loses more. 109 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,625 Should we get her something? Like some kind of baske? 110 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,085 Of what? Antibiotics and ointmen? 111 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,423 Hey, Audrey. 112 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,969 Just going roof-side, do some reading, catch some rays. 113 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:27,804 Hmm. What're you reading? 114 00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:30,349 Um...busted. 115 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:33,810 I'll see you later. 116 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:41,235 Jeff leaves, all I get is a fist bump 117 00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:42,819 and a warning to avoid the bathroom for a while. 118 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,992 Well, Adam and I have only been together for a couple of years. 119 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,827 Oh, no, Jeff and I were only together about six months 120 00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:53,121 before he started bringing food into the bed. 121 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:54,122 Ooh, like whipped cream and stuff? 122 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:55,207 No, like a hoagie. 123 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,419 One more thing for him to finish before me. 124 00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,549 You know what works for us? 125 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,386 Talking dirty. Does Jeff do that? 126 00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:09,304 God, no. He's way too repressed. 127 00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:13,267 Although one time he did say some pretty nasty things 128 00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:24,319 when his hoagie rolled onto the floor. 129 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:25,279 Hey. Hey. 130 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,697 Whatcha doing? 131 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,574 Watchin' the tube, thinking about having a hoagie. 132 00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:38,959 I have an idea that might make you re-think that hoagie. 133 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:43,171 You wanna order up some wings? 134 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:43,964 No. 135 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,800 I thought maybe we'd fool around. 136 00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:48,051 Really? 137 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:49,761 Why not? 138 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,389 I don't know. 139 00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:54,349 You're usually the keepr of the reasons "why not" 140 00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:00,272 And maybe when we're doing this, you could uh...you know. 141 00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:03,442 Say some things. 142 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,902 What kind of things? 143 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:09,239 You know, things about what we're doing. 144 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:12,200 Oh, you mean like sex talk. Yeah. 145 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:13,034 Well... 146 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:17,164 You know that I'm not much of a talker. 147 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,707 So, how 'bout we do our thing. 148 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,460 And then afterwards we can have a brief Q&A. 149 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:26,714 Come on. 150 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,843 Let's mix it up a littl, it might be fun. 151 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:32,095 All right, hey, I guess I could give this a shot. 152 00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,013 All right. 153 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:34,555 (LAUGHS) 154 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,852 All right... Here comes the sex talk. 155 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,228 Yeah, bring it. 156 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:46,193 I'm doing a little bit of work up here... on these. 157 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,029 As I'm sure you can attest. 158 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,907 Yes, Jeff. I can attest. 159 00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:56,328 By the way, you can loosen your grip. 160 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:57,662 They're not going to run away. 161 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:04,294 Got it, well, the plan is to do a lite more work up here. 162 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,798 And then I'm gonna pack it up, head down south. 163 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:13,553 Head down south? 164 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:15,514 Well, if north is your head. 165 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,848 No, no, I get it. I get it. 166 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:21,561 Maybe you can, you know, be a little more specif. 167 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:22,812 Roger that. 168 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,482 My right hand is on your right breast. 169 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:31,154 Well, my right, your left, but I... 170 00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:31,946 Okay. What? 171 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:33,990 That was a fun experiment. 172 00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:36,659 That's wasn't what you wanted? 173 00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:38,328 No, no, nobody wants that. 174 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:39,246 (SIGHS) 175 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,418 All right. 176 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:58,098 Would it be all right... Yes, go ahead. 177 00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,266 Hey. 178 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:08,525 What the hell happened to you, Braveheart? 179 00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:09,817 Well, I was tanning on the roof 180 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:13,780 and I fell asleep on one side. 181 00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:14,697 Stupid sun. 182 00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:18,910 Not sure it's the sun that comes off as stupi. 183 00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:24,374 I'm just gonna tan the other side, even everything out. 184 00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:25,333 Solid plan. 185 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,296 Let me ask you somethin. Do you ever talk dirty to Jen? 186 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,838 Oh, yeah. All the time. 187 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,173 Must be where Audrey got it. 188 00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,758 Last night she asked for dirty talk. 189 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:34,593 From you? 190 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,805 Well, how'd it go? 191 00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:40,932 Not well. What do you say? 192 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,976 Oh, man, you say all kinds of things, you know? 193 00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,769 I mean, I tell Jen what I'm about to do to her. 194 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,022 And then I want her to tell me what she's gonna do to me. 195 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,399 Using adult language. 196 00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:53,945 Yeah, yeah, man. She loves it. 197 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:57,240 Of course she does. She's filthy. 198 00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,408 But Audrey is my wife. 199 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:00,701 She's going to be the mother of my child. 200 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,703 Okay, Jeff, you gotta get over that. 201 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:05,748 All right, she obviously wants it. 202 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,251 Just say the dirtiest ts that come to your mind. 203 00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:09,752 Seriously? Yeah, dude. 204 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:13,840 Dude, the filthier the better. 205 00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:15,216 Filthier the better, I'll give it a try. 206 00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,135 Okay, hey, try it right now. 207 00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:20,930 Pretend that I'm Audrey. 208 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:24,518 Okay... 209 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,646 Hey, Audrey, why is your face two different colors, 210 00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:35,445 you dumbass? 211 00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:37,405 Go into your office. 212 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:38,198 Why? 213 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:39,824 Just go. 214 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,626 Oh, hello, man of mine. 215 00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,212 Hey... 216 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:53,963 What's that? 217 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,383 What does is it look like, silly? 218 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,301 It's a provocative photo of your wife and kids. 219 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,262 I need to lie down. 220 00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,558 Well, make it quick. 221 00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:09,479 I've got a honey-do list that's longer than my left boob. 222 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:12,399 You know about that, right? 223 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,483 Well, no. 224 00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:20,657 Anyway, I'd love to sta, but Tiffy's at the vet with volcanic diarrhea. 225 00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:21,866 That was a fun cab ride. 226 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,203 So as they say in Australia, good day.. 227 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:26,621 Mate! 228 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,502 Timmy, you got to use your giant brain 229 00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,045 and find me a way out of this. 230 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,172 I don't know how, sir. 231 00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:37,840 I believe once a marriage has been consummated, 232 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,260 it's legally binding. 233 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:41,261 Wait a second. 234 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,390 Wait a second, it hasn't been consummated. 235 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,891 You said you bumped uglies on the boat. 236 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,936 Though, with the two of you 237 00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:51,354 that very well could mean kissing. 238 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:55,900 I know we did it before the marriage, 239 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,569 but after the ceremony we both passed out. 240 00:12:58,528 --> 00:12:59,654 There's my loophole. 241 00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:02,365 Where're you going, sir? 242 00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,743 To end this marriage. 243 00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:05,535 (SIGHS) 244 00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:09,163 It's gonna be tough on the children. 245 00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:16,546 But I'm sure they'll lad on their feet. 246 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,339 Ah, it's a shame no one was around to hear that. 247 00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:42,614 Ah, yes, mm-hmm. 248 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:44,324 What's going on? 249 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:47,327 Well, I was just thinkig 250 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:48,911 we could give that sexy talk another shot. 251 00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:51,247 Really? 252 00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,959 'Cause last night you seemed kinda uncomfortable with it. 253 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,252 Caught me off guard, I've regrouped, 254 00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,587 I'm ready to take another run. 255 00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:00,381 Okay. 256 00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:04,761 Why don't you give me a little preview. 257 00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:06,554 Sure, and I'd like to start by saying that you, my lady, 258 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:07,846 are a... 259 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:09,223 What? 260 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,604 Oh, you like that. 261 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,147 No, god, no. I hate that word. 262 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,692 Every woman hates that word. 263 00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:21,361 Why would you call me that? 264 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:23,613 It was the filthiest thg I could think of. 265 00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:25,072 Adam told me to go super dirty. 266 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:25,824 Adam? 267 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,160 You took advice from a man who was outsmarted by the sun? 268 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,039 You know what, just forget it. 269 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,459 We'll just go back to the pawing and the grunting, 270 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:40,672 all leading up to the hoagie eating. 271 00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:42,590 Hey, you are the one who said you wanted me to talk dirty. 272 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,802 Jeff, I meant fun, sexy dirty. 273 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,722 Not misogynist with Tourette's dirty. 274 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:52,892 (KNOCKING) 275 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,648 Hello, Liz. I think we need to talk. 276 00:14:58,690 --> 00:14:59,816 You're late for dinner, honey. 277 00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:00,608 We waited as long as we could. 278 00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,235 Oh, yuck. 279 00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:04,987 Kids... 280 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,407 Can mommy and daddy have a moment? 281 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:14,789 Liz, um... 282 00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:17,375 I'll get right to the point. 283 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,335 I'd like an annulment. 284 00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:22,171 No, you can't do that. 285 00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:23,172 Actually, I can. 286 00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:26,342 Uh, there's a loophole. 287 00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,720 And it turns out if the marriage hasn't been consummated, 288 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,347 it can be annulled. 289 00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:32,098 Oh... 290 00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:35,976 This is a lot take in. 291 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,480 I'm gonna make myself some tea. 292 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:43,818 Liz... 293 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,987 I'm sorry. 294 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,198 I know this is hitting u pretty hard. 295 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,283 But I just think that... 296 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:52,786 Whoa. 297 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:55,747 Penny for your thoughts. 298 00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,085 Oh, I know what you're doing here. 299 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,671 It's not going to work. Sorry. 300 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:04,881 We need another loophole. 301 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:09,343 Oh, sir. 302 00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:14,599 I just... I lose all col around an attractive woman. 303 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,058 Uh, and how does that apply to Liz? 304 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,228 Sir, that's my wife you're speaking... 305 00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:20,146 Eh, you're right. 306 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,984 You're right. She looks like a potato balanced on two bratwursts. 307 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,697 But damn it, there's something about that woman. 308 00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:31,491 Sir... 309 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,118 I realize you're attracted to her 310 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,163 in what seems like a very Oktoberfest kind of way. 311 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,583 But for God's sake just talk to her. 312 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,086 I'm sure she'll be reasonable if you tell her firmly 313 00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,588 and decisively that you want out. 314 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:46,840 Yeah... 315 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,760 You know what, you're right. That'll work. 316 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,596 That'll work as long as I can resist having sex with her. 317 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:54,681 You can do it, sir. 318 00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:55,765 Of course I can. 319 00:16:57,809 --> 00:17:03,272 Just in case, I'll pound one out in the cab on the way o. 320 00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,231 (SIGHS) 321 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,821 Look, I'm sorry for what I said, I just--I love you. 322 00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:12,740 If this dirty talk is something you want, I want to do it. 323 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:13,992 You really don't have to. 324 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,289 But I want to, you sexy piece of wife. 325 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:29,674 All right, I see you're not going to let this go. 326 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:30,842 One last try. 327 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:32,301 Great. 328 00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:39,099 Maybe you could help us get started. 329 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:41,268 Okay. 330 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:46,566 Just take a deep breath and just try to let go, okay? 331 00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:53,698 There you go. 332 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,115 What about this? 333 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,576 You are so damn sexy. 334 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,285 Mm, good. 335 00:17:59,119 --> 00:17:59,871 What else? 336 00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:00,997 Mm... 337 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:02,498 Well... 338 00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:06,544 No, no, no, just whatever comes into your head. 339 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,838 Just say it. 340 00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:11,090 There's no way in hell your parents 341 00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:12,592 are staying with us this Christmas. 342 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:19,766 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 343 00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:24,771 Russell? 344 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,024 That's right, it's me. 345 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,277 Why are you wearing a sleep mask? 346 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,447 Because, Liz, I came here to lay down the law, 347 00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:38,952 and I don't want any of your visual distraction. 348 00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:39,911 Well, that's a shame. 349 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,831 I just got back from Ta, and I'm rocking a sheerp 350 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,291 and a sensible new brassiere. 351 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:48,127 Really? 352 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:50,421 Nope! 353 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:53,716 No, I've gotta be stron. 354 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:55,509 And here's the deal. 355 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,303 Liz, I don't want to be married to you anymore. 356 00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:58,763 And I'm sorry, I know that stings. 357 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:02,224 But I want you to grant me a divorce right now. 358 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,851 No, no, the lamp stays here. 359 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,061 What're you talking about? 360 00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:06,145 I was just talking to the movers. 361 00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:07,647 Now go on, what were you saying? 362 00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:09,315 I'm saying I'm putting my foot down. 363 00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:10,942 This is a sham, obviously we made a mistake... 364 00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,152 What movers? You're moving where? 365 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:15,989 In with my hubby, silly. 366 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,785 Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no. 367 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,161 No, no, guys, no one's moving anywhere. 368 00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:23,079 This has gone on long enough. 369 00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:23,913 Listen... 370 00:19:24,747 --> 00:19:25,873 Oh, that is sheer. 371 00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:37,927 You, uh... 372 00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,054 Give my best to the missus. 373 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:46,769 (SIGHS) 374 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,148 Again, I'm sorry about the other night. 375 00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:53,067 The thing about your parents just slipped out. 376 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:56,529 Is that really what's on your mind when we're having sex? 377 00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:58,322 Well, to be honest, sometimes I think about your parents 378 00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:03,661 to make it last longer. 379 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,955 Seriously, I don't get the appeal of talking during sex. 380 00:20:05,997 --> 00:20:07,540 Well, I guess it's not for everyone. 381 00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:16,298 But Jen and Adam seem to like it. 382 00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,800 My God, you look like a lobster. 383 00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:20,511 Whoa, whoa, whoa. In what way? 384 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,432 All right, just come hee and let me put some aloe on it. 385 00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,185 No, no, no, no, touching it is going to hurt. 386 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,686 I'm in so much pain already. 387 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,270 Don't be such a baby. 388 00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:31,605 It's supposed to cool you down. 389 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,025 Ah! Stop! 390 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,194 Stop. That hurts like hell. 391 00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,199 Ah! Be careful! 392 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,035 Stop squirming! Just shut up and take i! 393 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,246 Just do it fast. It really hurts. 394 00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:51,084 Well, if you don't rela, it'll hurt even more. 395 00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,585 Tomorrow, you won't be able to walk. 396 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:56,714 I don't get it either. 397 00:20:58,549 --> 00:20:59,217 Jeff! 27745

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.