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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,767 --> 00:00:04,100 Oh, the TV guy is gonna be at the apartment 2 00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:06,067 between 2 and 5. 3 00:00:06,067 --> 00:00:09,133 Why are we fixing that TV again? Let's just get a new one. 4 00:00:09,133 --> 00:00:11,133 Huh! And that's why I'll be at my job 5 00:00:11,133 --> 00:00:14,200 until I'm 115 years old. 6 00:00:15,333 --> 00:00:17,267 Well, I can't be home. I'm working. 7 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,867 Well, nobody will notice if you run out for a bit. 8 00:00:19,867 --> 00:00:21,200 Yes, they will. 9 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:24,067 Well, I didn't even know you had a job. 10 00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,800 All right, I gotta go. 11 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:29,133 Once again, my scrambled eggs come at too high a price. 12 00:00:29,133 --> 00:00:32,367 I know, they're like six bucks, all of a sudden. 13 00:00:32,367 --> 00:00:34,733 I thought I was the only one who noticed. 14 00:00:34,733 --> 00:00:37,467 Mm, way too high a price. 15 00:00:40,367 --> 00:00:42,467 Heh, what's her problem? 16 00:00:42,467 --> 00:00:45,667 Ah, we're mad about eggs. 17 00:00:45,667 --> 00:00:46,833 What's up with you? 18 00:00:46,833 --> 00:00:50,467 Oh, I'm just on my way to break up with Liz. 19 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,600 You're still with that weird cat lady? 20 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,267 Hm. Every time he tries to end it, 21 00:00:55,267 --> 00:00:57,367 they wind up sleeping together. 22 00:00:57,367 --> 00:01:01,333 What is wrong with you, man? 23 00:01:01,333 --> 00:01:04,633 No, no, no, no. This time I dump her, 24 00:01:04,633 --> 00:01:07,800 she cries, everybody goes home happy. 25 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,367 What makes you think it's gonna work this time? 26 00:01:10,367 --> 00:01:12,100 TIMMY: I'll field this one. 27 00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:14,167 Today, I am accompanying him. 28 00:01:14,167 --> 00:01:16,600 My task? Prevent him from having sex. 29 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,300 A job normally handled by his personality. 30 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,300 I'm gonna go set the world straight. 31 00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:25,100 Get rid of Liz. Go back to dating models. 32 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:28,200 By "models," he means model number 114 33 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,800 from the just-add-air catalog. 34 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:35,433 I got her so I could drive in the carpool lane. 35 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,633 The fact that one thing may have led to another 36 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,467 is neither here nor there. 37 00:01:41,467 --> 00:01:44,500 [SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS" PLAYING] 38 00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:47,667 * How many ways To say I love you? * 39 00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:54,333 * How many ways to say That I'm not scared? * 40 00:01:54,333 --> 00:01:59,967 * With you by my side There is no denying * 41 00:01:59,967 --> 00:02:03,533 * I can't wait for me and you * 42 00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:10,700 [***] 43 00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:13,400 All right, listen, you hang back here. 44 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,400 But if Liz goes nuts and gets all grabby, 45 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,133 you pull me to safety, all right? 46 00:02:17,133 --> 00:02:19,367 You're ending a casual relationship. 47 00:02:19,367 --> 00:02:22,167 You're not the Beatles landing in America. 48 00:02:22,167 --> 00:02:24,700 I kind of am. 49 00:02:24,700 --> 00:02:27,267 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 50 00:02:28,267 --> 00:02:31,233 Hi, Russell. Hey, Liz. 51 00:02:31,233 --> 00:02:33,333 Listen, babe. I gotta tell you something. 52 00:02:33,333 --> 00:02:35,767 You're not gonna like it. Might wanna sit down. 53 00:02:35,767 --> 00:02:40,167 Get on with it, I'm getting a draft up my nightie. 54 00:02:40,167 --> 00:02:41,933 Liz, I'm here to break up with you. 55 00:02:41,933 --> 00:02:43,133 Keep it together. 56 00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:45,067 Why? Because I'm better than you. 57 00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:48,733 Be strong. You might need one of these. 58 00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:51,200 Well, okay, heh. 59 00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:01,733 Oh. 60 00:03:01,733 --> 00:03:02,933 [SNIFFS] 61 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:05,433 Oh, sinus infection. Very viscous. 62 00:03:05,433 --> 00:03:07,733 I'll take your word for it. 63 00:03:07,733 --> 00:03:10,033 Liz, I know you're hurting right now. 64 00:03:10,033 --> 00:03:11,733 You're hurting very badly, 65 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,033 and I know there's nothing you'd like more 66 00:03:14,033 --> 00:03:16,000 than to feel my body pressed against-- 67 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,733 Everything all right, Lizzy? 68 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,600 Yes, uh, be right there, lover. 69 00:03:24,067 --> 00:03:26,367 Oh, hey. Russell, right? 70 00:03:26,367 --> 00:03:28,300 Yeah. Hey. 71 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,133 That's my robe. 72 00:03:31,133 --> 00:03:33,267 It's the guest robe. 73 00:03:33,267 --> 00:03:35,300 Are we done here? 74 00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,533 [***] 75 00:03:39,167 --> 00:03:41,067 Hey. Hey. 76 00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:43,133 Check out what I just bought. 77 00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:45,700 Is this gorgeous or what? 78 00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:48,967 Uh.... 79 00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:52,100 The leather is very soft. 80 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,733 Has our pension been compromised? 81 00:03:55,933 --> 00:03:59,633 It has not, because I got a raise. 82 00:03:59,633 --> 00:04:00,933 What? [GIGGLES] 83 00:04:00,933 --> 00:04:03,233 I deserved a little something. Great. 84 00:04:03,233 --> 00:04:04,833 Still, when I think "little" 85 00:04:04,833 --> 00:04:10,500 I imagine a candy bar or perhaps a rubber ball. 86 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:15,433 Well, you will rethink that once you see my new pay check. 87 00:04:15,433 --> 00:04:17,400 Wow. 88 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:21,700 You must make better coffee there than you do here. 89 00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:23,200 Ha-ha-ha. 90 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,400 It's from bringing in so much new ad revenue for the website. 91 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,167 Well, look at you, working girl. 92 00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:31,033 Tennies on the subway, pumps at the office. 93 00:04:31,033 --> 00:04:32,233 [CHUCKLES] 94 00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:34,600 Yeah, we are both killing it now. 95 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,933 We're a power couple. We're like Brad and Angelina. 96 00:04:37,933 --> 00:04:40,200 Oh, not exactly either. 97 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,200 I mean, with my commission and bonuses, 98 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:45,400 I'm still pulling in way more than you, so... 99 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,100 Ha-ha, okay. It's not a competition. 100 00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:50,033 I'm just saying we're a little less Brad and Angelina 101 00:04:50,033 --> 00:04:53,600 a little more Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson. 102 00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:59,000 Wow. What? 103 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,500 It actually bothers you. 104 00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,600 You're actually threatened by this. 105 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,300 Uh, no, it doesn't. 106 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:08,933 That's ridiculous. 107 00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:11,567 I'm gonna grab a drink. 108 00:05:12,633 --> 00:05:13,833 You know what? 109 00:05:13,833 --> 00:05:15,033 [CLEARS THROAT] 110 00:05:15,033 --> 00:05:17,200 When you get a raise, we celebrate, 111 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,933 and I'm happy for you. 112 00:05:18,933 --> 00:05:23,100 I don't call you Rita Wilson. 113 00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:25,233 Well, that... 114 00:05:25,233 --> 00:05:29,133 is because I am affable everyman Tom Hanks. 115 00:05:30,567 --> 00:05:33,833 You know what? Forget it. And for the record... 116 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:37,000 I'm fine with you treating yourself to the purse. 117 00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:44,333 You're fine with it? Yeah. 118 00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:45,833 I'm fine with it. 119 00:05:45,833 --> 00:05:48,533 Oh, it doesn't matter if you're fine with it. 120 00:05:48,533 --> 00:05:51,367 I was fine with it, so I bought it. Period. 121 00:05:51,367 --> 00:05:56,133 Okay. And guess what? I'm fine with that. 122 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,500 No, the point is, 123 00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:00,500 it doesn't matter if you're fine. 124 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:03,533 If you are gonna be so pigheaded and disrespectful, 125 00:06:03,533 --> 00:06:06,067 I'll just keep this for myself, do I want with it. 126 00:06:06,067 --> 00:06:08,700 I'm fine with that too. 127 00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,867 It doesn't matter if you're fine, okay? 128 00:06:10,867 --> 00:06:14,067 It's happening because I decided it's what I wanna do. 129 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,467 Fine. Oh. 130 00:06:18,833 --> 00:06:21,700 [***] 131 00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:23,500 This place is so fancy. 132 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:25,700 Nice not to eat at the diner for once. 133 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:31,467 I don't even wanna know what this place charges for eggs. 134 00:06:31,467 --> 00:06:34,867 Boy, you know what? My engagement ring's really loose. 135 00:06:34,867 --> 00:06:36,767 Maybe I lost a couple pounds. 136 00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:38,667 I don't think so. 137 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,000 Here, let me get it resized for you. 138 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,767 Oh, oh. 139 00:06:44,767 --> 00:06:46,067 There you go. 140 00:06:46,067 --> 00:06:49,667 Oh, my goodness. A proposal! 141 00:06:49,667 --> 00:06:52,067 Get them some champagne on the house. 142 00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:53,900 Oh, wait. And cake. 143 00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:56,067 Ooh, cake? 144 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,333 Jennifer Morgan, I love you. 145 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,533 Will you marry me? 146 00:07:05,367 --> 00:07:07,233 I will! 147 00:07:07,233 --> 00:07:09,433 [***] 148 00:07:11,033 --> 00:07:12,700 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 149 00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,367 So did you do it? 150 00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:17,333 Yes, sir, I tailed Liz and Todd all day. 151 00:07:17,333 --> 00:07:19,967 It's scary how good my stalking skills have gotten 152 00:07:19,967 --> 00:07:21,667 since I've been in your employ. 153 00:07:21,667 --> 00:07:23,600 It's driving me crazy. 154 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,867 Why is Liz picking that guy over me? 155 00:07:25,867 --> 00:07:28,367 [SIGHS] 156 00:07:28,367 --> 00:07:31,100 So, what'd you find out? Okay. 157 00:07:32,467 --> 00:07:34,133 Todd Gluck, 42. 158 00:07:34,133 --> 00:07:38,467 Financial planner. Weight watcher since 1997. 159 00:07:39,433 --> 00:07:41,867 And? And I can tell you 160 00:07:41,867 --> 00:07:44,900 that Todd and Liz enjoyed an afternoon in the park. 161 00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:48,033 [CHICAGO'S "SATURDAY IN THE PARK" PLAYING] 162 00:07:48,033 --> 00:07:49,933 TIMMY: They had a picnic. 163 00:07:49,933 --> 00:07:51,500 [BEE BUZZING] 164 00:07:59,967 --> 00:08:02,333 Ah! Ah! 165 00:08:06,867 --> 00:08:09,667 They challenged their minds. 166 00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:12,067 * Saturday in the park * 167 00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:14,300 [BOTH LAUGHING] 168 00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:18,167 And they did some exercising. 169 00:08:18,167 --> 00:08:22,100 * Saturday in the park * 170 00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:26,933 * I think it was the Fourth of July * 171 00:08:26,933 --> 00:08:28,933 [BEE BUZZING] 172 00:08:28,933 --> 00:08:30,700 * People laughing * 173 00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:32,867 * A man selling ice cream * 174 00:08:32,867 --> 00:08:34,300 [SCREAMS] 175 00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:37,133 * Singing Italian songs * 176 00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:40,967 Come on, that stuff doesn't help me. 177 00:08:40,967 --> 00:08:43,700 Hey, by the way, did you, uh... 178 00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:45,167 did you get a chance to attain 179 00:08:45,167 --> 00:08:48,267 the other information I requested? 180 00:08:48,267 --> 00:08:50,667 Yes. Uh, because you insisted, 181 00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:53,233 I followed Todd into the men's room. 182 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:54,833 I had to be extra careful 183 00:08:54,833 --> 00:08:56,933 as it seems many men had followed other men 184 00:08:56,933 --> 00:08:59,000 into this particular park restroom. 185 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:03,467 In any case, I knew I had a job to do. 186 00:09:14,033 --> 00:09:15,767 [COIN THUDS] 187 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:26,333 And? It's normal. 188 00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:29,667 You have to be more specific, all right? 189 00:09:29,667 --> 00:09:32,700 Let's try to get a baseline, all right? Take a look. 190 00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:35,467 Stop. Stop. There is no need for that. 191 00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:38,000 Suffice it to say, it's well within the ballpark 192 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,700 of reasonable penises. 193 00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:42,167 Bet you got season tickets to that ballpark, 194 00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:44,233 don't you, Tim, huh? 195 00:09:44,233 --> 00:09:46,533 Really? After the day I've had? 196 00:09:46,533 --> 00:09:47,767 [SIGHS] 197 00:09:47,767 --> 00:09:51,200 What is it then, if he's not working a big rig? 198 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,367 What do you think? Is he classier than me? 199 00:09:53,367 --> 00:09:55,333 Oh, impossible, sir. 200 00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:58,467 Well, then, if it's not... 201 00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:00,433 how big it is, maybe it's how he uses it. 202 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,633 You gotta spy on them having sex. 203 00:10:02,633 --> 00:10:06,900 This may seem like an arbitrary line in the sand, 204 00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:10,000 but I'm going to say no to being a peeping Tom. 205 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,967 Look who no longer wants to learn 206 00:10:11,967 --> 00:10:14,033 about commercial real estate. 207 00:10:14,033 --> 00:10:16,500 Sir, you wanted her out of your life. 208 00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:20,733 She's out. Let it go. Shake it off, and move on. 209 00:10:20,733 --> 00:10:24,033 Is that what the guys in your bathroom said? 210 00:10:24,033 --> 00:10:26,267 [***] 211 00:10:30,633 --> 00:10:31,833 [SIGHS] 212 00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:33,033 [DOOR CLOSES] 213 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,833 Oh, hey, babe. Um.... 214 00:10:34,833 --> 00:10:36,300 [KEYS JINGLE] 215 00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:39,733 What is that, and, uh, what is he doing? 216 00:10:39,733 --> 00:10:42,767 He's installing our new TV. 217 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,633 Bought it with my money. 218 00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:47,867 You didn't. Hmm, but I did. 219 00:10:47,867 --> 00:10:49,667 [SIGHS] 220 00:10:49,667 --> 00:10:51,333 Audrey, the TV is my thing. 221 00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:53,733 That would be like me buying a new one of these 222 00:10:53,733 --> 00:10:56,367 and not consulting you. 223 00:10:56,367 --> 00:10:58,567 Look, it was time for a new TV, Jeff. 224 00:10:58,567 --> 00:11:01,100 The picture's fantastic. Come look. 225 00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:03,733 Did you at least get it on sale? 226 00:11:03,733 --> 00:11:06,000 Oh, don't worry about it. Oh, God! 227 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,200 [SIGHS] 228 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,867 Tell me you at least went to a place 229 00:11:08,867 --> 00:11:12,267 with "crazy" in the name. Crazy Larry's or Crazy Bill's. 230 00:11:12,267 --> 00:11:15,867 Their mental illness spells big savings. 231 00:11:15,867 --> 00:11:18,933 This was my purchase, Jeff. 232 00:11:18,933 --> 00:11:22,167 And I am not gonna answer any of your condescending questions 233 00:11:22,167 --> 00:11:24,033 or show you receipts. 234 00:11:24,033 --> 00:11:26,000 Ugh, receipts plural. 235 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,533 You fell for the extended warranty. 236 00:11:28,533 --> 00:11:31,533 How many times do I gotta tell you? 237 00:11:31,533 --> 00:11:34,800 That's how they get you. That's how they get you. 238 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,400 I'm a grown woman, Jeff. I know how to buy things. 239 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,833 Did you, at least, trade in our old television 240 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,233 for some cash back? 241 00:11:41,233 --> 00:11:43,767 I donated it to charity. 242 00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:46,267 Okay, I had that coming. 243 00:11:46,267 --> 00:11:48,033 Seriously, what'd you do with it? 244 00:11:48,033 --> 00:11:49,600 I'm all done here. 245 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,133 Did you want me to go over how to work the remote 246 00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:53,800 with you again? 247 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,200 No. 248 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,033 I'm fine. 249 00:11:59,033 --> 00:12:02,667 Okay. I see what you're doing. 250 00:12:02,667 --> 00:12:03,967 Before you go... 251 00:12:03,967 --> 00:12:05,833 [CLEARS THROAT] 252 00:12:05,833 --> 00:12:08,367 The delivery charge is already included. 253 00:12:08,367 --> 00:12:11,033 I'd like to give him a little something for his time. 254 00:12:11,033 --> 00:12:12,933 I gotta go lay down. 255 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:15,167 [***] 256 00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:21,433 [***] 257 00:12:21,433 --> 00:12:25,067 Boy, can you believe it? Four bucks for a latte? 258 00:12:25,067 --> 00:12:28,667 Yeah, I, uh, I wouldn't worry about it. 259 00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:30,833 [CLEARS THROAT] 260 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:34,500 Come on! Jennifer Morgan. 261 00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:37,167 There are two things that I love in this world. 262 00:12:37,167 --> 00:12:41,700 Uh, you and coffee. 263 00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:44,533 Honey, I can't wake up without either of you. 264 00:12:44,533 --> 00:12:48,667 You're a crazy person. I'm crazy for you, baby. 265 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,000 [SIGHS] 266 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,400 Will you marry me? 267 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:58,800 Sure. Ah. 268 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,567 [CROWD APPLAUDING] 269 00:13:00,567 --> 00:13:03,100 Congratulations. Coffee's on us today. 270 00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:05,100 Thank you. Now, that's really sweet. 271 00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:07,233 But, you know, it wouldn't be a celebration 272 00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:09,200 without some scones. 273 00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:13,200 [***] 274 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,400 When you invited me over to watch TV, 275 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,200 I didn't agree to this. 276 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,600 Why are you boycotting that nice one out there? 277 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,600 Audrey's trying to stick it to me. 278 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,700 By buying you a giant flat screen 279 00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:28,900 with her own money? 280 00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:31,733 That's right. 281 00:13:31,733 --> 00:13:33,300 All I know is two dudes 282 00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,167 shouldn't be laying in bed together 283 00:13:35,167 --> 00:13:37,433 watching The Mentalist. 284 00:13:37,433 --> 00:13:40,233 By the way, how did Liz take getting dumped? 285 00:13:40,233 --> 00:13:41,900 Oh, did you talk to Timmy? No. 286 00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:44,633 Oh, she took it hard. Rough. 287 00:13:44,633 --> 00:13:47,300 Hey, it's good to have you back, buddy. 288 00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:48,433 Yeah. 289 00:13:48,433 --> 00:13:51,467 I wonder how she's recovering. 290 00:13:51,467 --> 00:13:55,267 You ever see her around the building? 291 00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:57,133 All the time. She's right upstairs, 292 00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:58,900 so there's always some plumbing issue 293 00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:01,700 that she's putting us through. Yeah, yeah. 294 00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:05,633 She's got that gluten allergy she refuses to deal with. 295 00:14:11,533 --> 00:14:13,233 Want a beer? 296 00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:15,733 Uh, no, thanks. 297 00:14:15,733 --> 00:14:17,667 You know, with all this, 298 00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:21,000 I think I better stay sharp. 299 00:14:24,433 --> 00:14:25,433 [SIGHS] 300 00:14:25,433 --> 00:14:27,067 [DOOR OPENS, MUFFLED MOANING] 301 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,233 [ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING] 302 00:14:29,233 --> 00:14:31,433 [MUFFLED GRUNTING] 303 00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:33,467 [MOANING] 304 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,667 [MOANS] 305 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,267 [MOANING] 306 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,400 [MOANS] 307 00:14:56,467 --> 00:14:58,467 [GROANING] 308 00:15:04,067 --> 00:15:06,133 [MOANS] 309 00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:09,800 Russell? Nope. 310 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,367 TODD: Well, wait. 311 00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:13,933 What are you doing out there? 312 00:15:13,933 --> 00:15:17,667 Oh, me? I'm just having a smoke. 313 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,700 You know, checking out the birds. 314 00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:22,433 Typical fire escape stuff. 315 00:15:22,433 --> 00:15:24,267 It's freezing out there. 316 00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:26,333 Liz isn't home. Why don't you come on in? 317 00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:27,533 Oh, no, no. I couldn't. 318 00:15:27,533 --> 00:15:29,333 I couldn't impose on your privacy. 319 00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:31,900 You're watching a half naked guy do push-ups. 320 00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:33,833 It's already weird. 321 00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:37,000 All right. 322 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,267 [GRUNTS] 323 00:15:39,267 --> 00:15:42,467 So, what's going on, Russell? You don't have any cigarettes. 324 00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:44,433 I know there aren't any birds out there 325 00:15:44,433 --> 00:15:47,900 because I got Lizzy one of those wooden owls. 326 00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:52,433 Here's the thing. I need to know how you got Liz. 327 00:15:52,433 --> 00:15:55,700 What sort of crazy sex acts are about to go down in here? 328 00:15:55,700 --> 00:15:57,233 Excuse me? 329 00:15:57,233 --> 00:16:00,400 What, are you gonna do the, uh, arctic tornado maybe? 330 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:04,333 The dirty debutante, huh? 331 00:16:04,333 --> 00:16:05,667 You gonna get rough? 332 00:16:05,667 --> 00:16:07,667 I'm gonna get rough if you keep up 333 00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,433 with the potty mouth. 334 00:16:09,433 --> 00:16:12,500 I'm sorry. I just... 335 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:15,433 I just can't figure out why Liz chose you over me. 336 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,767 Look, here's the deal. 337 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,533 I think Liz likes that I listen to her. 338 00:16:19,533 --> 00:16:22,233 We talk about her hopes and dreams. 339 00:16:22,233 --> 00:16:24,767 When I'm with her, she knows I feel like 340 00:16:24,767 --> 00:16:26,600 the luckiest guy in the world. 341 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:30,133 Wow, so you're just a sensitive gentleman 342 00:16:30,133 --> 00:16:31,667 who puts her needs first? 343 00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:32,933 That's it. 344 00:16:32,933 --> 00:16:35,700 Oh, ha-ha, well, that's a relief. 345 00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:38,033 I thought it was something I could change, 346 00:16:38,033 --> 00:16:39,900 like weiner size. 347 00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:42,533 There's no surgery that could make me lame, ha-ha. 348 00:16:42,533 --> 00:16:46,600 All right. Well, thanks, buddy. 349 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,133 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 350 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:51,333 [***] 351 00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:53,667 Hey, Adam, what's up? Nothing much. 352 00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:57,767 Went to the market with Jen. Got some free groceries. 353 00:17:00,633 --> 00:17:03,133 Hey, look at that TV. 354 00:17:03,133 --> 00:17:04,767 Oh, nice, huh? 355 00:17:04,767 --> 00:17:08,367 Yeah. Hey, you know, Jen and I are looking to get a new TV. 356 00:17:08,367 --> 00:17:10,900 You mind if I ask you some questions about yours? 357 00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:12,267 Sure. Oh, great. 358 00:17:12,267 --> 00:17:14,500 Um, where did you get it? 359 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,867 How much did you pay for it? 360 00:17:16,867 --> 00:17:19,333 And, um.... 361 00:17:20,833 --> 00:17:22,033 [CHUCKLES] 362 00:17:22,033 --> 00:17:24,033 Uh.... 363 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,600 Did you get the extended warranty? 364 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,800 You know what? Ahem. 365 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:36,533 I'm gonna answer your questions in just a minute. 366 00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:41,767 Oh, damn it! What is the matter with you? 367 00:17:41,767 --> 00:17:45,400 You broke my ear. 368 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,533 I barely tapped it, you big baby. 369 00:17:48,533 --> 00:17:51,367 Why does it bother you so much that I bought a TV? 370 00:17:51,367 --> 00:17:56,400 Because men are supposed to purchase electronics. 371 00:17:56,400 --> 00:18:00,000 Oh, like how men are supposed to earn more money? 372 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,733 Yeah. A-ha. 373 00:18:01,733 --> 00:18:04,133 It does bother you that I make almost as much. 374 00:18:04,133 --> 00:18:07,667 No, no, it does not. Rita Wilson, ah. 375 00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:12,167 Oh, man, you know, I love Rita Wilson. 376 00:18:12,167 --> 00:18:15,733 Hey, did you guys see Sleepless in Seattle? 377 00:18:15,733 --> 00:18:17,900 Get out! 378 00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:20,133 Hey, well, I own the DVD. 379 00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,533 I'm gonna bring it over later. 380 00:18:24,867 --> 00:18:29,033 Look. I know you are hardwired to think a certain way, 381 00:18:29,033 --> 00:18:30,700 but how have you turned 382 00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:33,067 us having more money into a bad thing? 383 00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:35,633 I... 384 00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:38,333 I know. Look, this is new territory for me. 385 00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:39,600 And... 386 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,333 I just like being the guy who takes care of you. 387 00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:44,967 And I love that about you, 388 00:18:44,967 --> 00:18:46,533 but part of that is supporting me, 389 00:18:46,533 --> 00:18:49,500 and making me feel good when I'm successful. 390 00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:53,567 I get that, and I am proud of you. You know that. 391 00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:54,667 Thank you. 392 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,733 God, I knew that was in there somewhere. 393 00:18:56,733 --> 00:19:01,467 Just had to hit you in the head with a door to get it out. 394 00:19:03,867 --> 00:19:05,100 [CHUCKLES] 395 00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:06,833 [***] 396 00:19:06,833 --> 00:19:10,433 Oh, I am so full. 397 00:19:10,433 --> 00:19:11,633 [SIGHS] 398 00:19:13,267 --> 00:19:15,233 Did you just unbutton your pants? 399 00:19:15,233 --> 00:19:18,533 I did. I love you. 400 00:19:18,533 --> 00:19:20,867 Pay the check. Let's go home. 401 00:19:20,867 --> 00:19:22,967 All right, I'm on it. 402 00:19:22,967 --> 00:19:24,700 Oh, come on, Adam. 403 00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:26,833 It's starting to feel like we're stealing. 404 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:29,600 But everyone gets so happy when there's a proposal. 405 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,600 People get happy when they see kittens. 406 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,800 Not gonna start carrying those around. 407 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,067 I do have those cargo pants. 408 00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:37,833 May I take this? Uh, hold on. 409 00:19:37,833 --> 00:19:40,067 It's all right, thank you. 410 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,333 [CLEARS THROAT] 411 00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:46,267 Jennifer Morgan. 412 00:19:47,367 --> 00:19:49,900 You are a safe harbor for my ship 413 00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:51,133 to dock in the night. 414 00:19:51,133 --> 00:19:54,300 What? Will you marry me? 415 00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:57,067 No, I won't. 416 00:19:57,067 --> 00:20:00,433 I can't do this anymore. 417 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:04,133 Oh, my God, sir. I am so sorry. 418 00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:06,000 Thanks. No, no, no, no. 419 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,500 Dinner's on us tonight. Really? 420 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:12,133 I guess it's only fair after what happened to me 421 00:20:12,133 --> 00:20:13,600 in your restaurant. 422 00:20:15,267 --> 00:20:17,467 [***] 423 00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:22,500 Look at that. 424 00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:26,133 The reds, greens, and blues are all so true. 425 00:20:26,133 --> 00:20:27,433 The truest. 426 00:20:27,433 --> 00:20:29,833 All right, come on, where did you get it? 427 00:20:29,833 --> 00:20:31,433 Crazy Monty's in Paramus. 428 00:20:31,433 --> 00:20:33,400 New Jersey? No sales tax. 429 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,567 I know. I buy my socks there. 430 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,100 [CHUCKLES] 431 00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:39,433 It gets better. How is that possible? 432 00:20:39,433 --> 00:20:43,733 Oh, two words. Floor model. 433 00:20:43,733 --> 00:20:45,567 I have never loved you more. 434 00:20:45,567 --> 00:20:46,767 [CHUCKLES] 435 00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:49,233 Thank you. Mm... 436 00:20:49,233 --> 00:20:52,800 Okay, put on the game. I bet it's incredible. 437 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:56,400 Yeah, um, about that. 438 00:20:56,400 --> 00:21:00,367 You can't work the remote, can you? 439 00:21:00,367 --> 00:21:03,800 Might as well be flying a spaceship. 440 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,000 [***] 441 00:21:10,833 --> 00:21:13,433 [***] 30636

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