All language subtitles for Rules.of.Engagement.S05E13.The.Home.Stretch.1080p.AMZN.WEBRip.DDP.5.1.x265-edge2020_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:06,140 Ah, morning. I was just looking over our expense reports. 2 00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:07,975 I found way to save hundreds of dollars. 3 00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:10,944 Ah, you sound like that lizard from the GEICO commercials. 4 00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:13,081 Ooh, a muffin. Ah, that's mine. 5 00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:14,782 Not anymore. Mm. 6 00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:17,485 No, no. 7 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,489 That's not blueberry. What kind of flimflam 8 00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,391 are you trying to scam on me? 9 00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,626 Yes, I certainly owe you an apology 10 00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,062 for picking the wrong muffin for you to steal, eat, 11 00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:29,930 and regurgitate onto my desk. 12 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:32,566 More specifically, onto this picture of my grandmother. 13 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:36,637 Oh, in my defense, that dot was already there. 14 00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:42,042 Well, I was talked into the lemon poppy seed muffin by Beth, 15 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,245 the comely new waitress at the diner. 16 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,180 And what say we skip the clever fun you'll have 17 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,782 with the word comely. 18 00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:51,585 Oh, wait, Beth, that's the new waitress at our diner. 19 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:54,788 Yes. Oh, I really do feel she and I have quite the rapport. 20 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,291 Ha, ha, ha. Whoa, whoa. 21 00:00:57,291 --> 00:01:00,094 I've actually already met Beth. 22 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,729 We had a delightful connection. 23 00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:04,365 She found me quite the gentleman, and with any luck, 24 00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:05,733 soon she'll be the chief suspect 25 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:08,636 in the case of the missing salami. 26 00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:10,204 Hmm. 27 00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,708 I guess the next time we're both in the diner 28 00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:17,345 we'll just have to see whom she prefers. 29 00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:19,847 Me or the shrunken Mickey Rourke. 30 00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:32,293 Yes, I guess we'll see. 31 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:37,265 Silly me. 32 00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:41,602 I forgot I've got to take care of some things in accounting. 33 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:42,970 Oh, of course. 34 00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:44,938 It would seem as though I've been silly as well 35 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,241 because I've left some papers in the copy machine so... 36 00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,477 Pfft. Ah, unh! 37 00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:52,746 Look at us, we're just a couple of silly birds. 38 00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:58,319 [RUSSELL YELPS] 39 00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:59,887 [RUSSELL GROANS] 40 00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:08,162 So everything shipshape with the McCarthy account? 41 00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:09,563 Yes. All up-to-date. 42 00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:12,065 I should have a full status report on you-- 43 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:14,335 Excuse me. 44 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,704 [***] 45 00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:19,773 Heh-heh-heh. Hey, uh, where's Audrey? 46 00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:23,677 She's got a Pilates session with a trainer at our apartment. 47 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:26,747 Really? Why at the apartment? Because we're billionaires. 48 00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:31,519 Apparently, Audrey got tired of going out to spend money 49 00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:35,389 so now someone comes to the apartment to take it. 50 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,961 She's not working but at least she's keeping herself busy. 51 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:43,030 Who she's not keeping busy? 52 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:46,700 The lonely lighthouse keeper who lives in my pants. 53 00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:49,503 You know, I've been there. Oh, yeah? 54 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,838 You and Jen? Oh. Yeah, man. 55 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,540 A couple months ago we were fighting a lot. 56 00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:55,943 We were down to once a day. 57 00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,247 Ow! 58 00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,588 [RUSSELL & TIMMY GRUNT] 59 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,426 What can I get you? 60 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:14,595 Wait, this isn't Beth's section? We switched. 61 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:17,765 Uh, Timmy, didn't you wanna order some of this? 62 00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,500 Hey. 63 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,274 Hey, Russell, Timmy. 64 00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:28,942 Oh, Beth, this is your section? 65 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,847 Hello there, Beth. You're looking lovely as usual today. 66 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,749 Oh, you two. 67 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:39,253 Well, I'm going on my break but Doreen will take care of you. 68 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,857 The hell she will. 69 00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:46,460 [SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS" PLAYING] 70 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:49,863 * How many ways To say, "I love you?" * 71 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:56,404 * How many ways To say that I'm not scared? * 72 00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:59,106 * With you by my side * 73 00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:01,642 * There is no denyin' * 74 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,545 * I can't wait For me and you * 75 00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:12,353 [***] 76 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,823 [DOOR CLOSES] 77 00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,157 [ADAM EXHALES] 78 00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:19,360 Uhn, check it out. 79 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,228 I was digging through the back of my closet 80 00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,997 and bam, my old letterman jacket. 81 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:25,733 Oh, wow. 82 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:28,569 You know, I always liked the idea of dating a jock. 83 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,938 Why wouldn't you? We're sexy as all get out. 84 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:33,173 [JENNIFER CHUCKLES] 85 00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:36,510 What's this pin right here? Oh, that's a megaphone. 86 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,646 A megaphone? Why? 87 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:40,881 You know, for cheerleading. 88 00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,718 Oh, because you had a cheerleader girlfriend. 89 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,420 No. 90 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,622 I made the squad. She didn't. 91 00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:51,825 That's why we broke up, you know. 92 00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:56,330 Hold on, there was, heh, a lot of information there. 93 00:04:56,330 --> 00:05:00,734 You're saying that you were on the cheerleading squad? 94 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,002 Yes. 95 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:05,406 But you were a football player. No. 96 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,174 But you said you never missed a game. 97 00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:09,009 I didn't. 98 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,511 But you said your bad knee 99 00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,546 was a football injury. It was. 100 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,415 Honey, a couple players tumbled out of bounds 101 00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:16,817 and knocked over our pyramid. 102 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,386 God. 103 00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:21,121 Oh, God. What? 104 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:24,191 You said that without you, your team wouldn't have won state. 105 00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:26,360 Well, that I firmly believe. 106 00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,263 Wait a minute. What's this? 107 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:32,933 A note saying this is all a bad joke? 108 00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,136 Oh, man, this is my old cheat sheet. 109 00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,772 I could never remember how to spell aggressive. 110 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,911 [***] 111 00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:50,751 Ah, nice timing. I just finished my session and I feel great. 112 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,820 Oh, good, then it's worth the 80 bucks. 113 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:56,424 Heh, eighty? You're adorable. 114 00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:59,727 Anyway, I found this flier by the mailbox. 115 00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:01,829 Uh, 50 percent off, all workout clothes. 116 00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:06,266 Oh, yeah? Is that how you like my workout clothes? 117 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,268 Fifty percent off? 118 00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:09,670 [CHUCKLES] 119 00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:14,007 If you smear the ink, they won't honor it. 120 00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:21,281 Oops, I did smear it. I've been a bad, bad girl. 121 00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,517 What's going on here? 122 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,653 Nothing here, but, uh, 123 00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:28,522 maybe something'll happen in the bedroom. 124 00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:31,625 Down that way, to the left, I remember. 125 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,728 Heh, come on. Let's get in there and do it. 126 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,765 Now, see, I'm getting somewhat of a sex vibe. 127 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:42,135 It's been a while, I may be wrong. 128 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,104 You are not wrong. 129 00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:48,676 The drought is over. 130 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,545 Oh, cleansing rain. 131 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,714 [***] 132 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,818 The moment I entered the apartment 133 00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:00,287 to the moment we're doing it, 134 00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:02,122 a minute and a half. 135 00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:07,461 And then, uh, another minute and half till the awkward apology? 136 00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:12,232 More or less. It's been a while. 137 00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:15,736 I was against this whole Pilates scam, but, eh, 138 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:17,471 I'm good with anything that puts Audrey 139 00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:19,973 between me and the mattress. 140 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:22,175 That's actually more romantic than Mr. Dunbar 141 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,111 who recently bragged of having put a woman 142 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,679 between him and desk. 143 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:29,382 You forgot one little detail. It was your desk. 144 00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:32,786 The chick had muffin crumbs all over her back. 145 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,957 You got to stay on this Pilates thing. 146 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,492 It seems like it's the golden goose. 147 00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,661 It must make her feel better about herself 148 00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:43,096 and more receptive to your inelegant advances. 149 00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:46,967 I don't care what it does as long as I'm banging the goose. 150 00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:51,004 Wow, Timmy, Russell, you guys are still here? 151 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:53,774 You two are becoming my best customers. 152 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,242 What a nice thing to say about me 153 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,477 and someone who's old enough to be your father. 154 00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:00,781 You must really love the food here. 155 00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,950 You know, Beth, I do find it quite excellent. 156 00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:05,919 Ah, then what do you suppose gave you that raging diarrhea? 157 00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:11,692 Can I bring you a bowl of rice or something? 158 00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:16,764 Please. 159 00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:20,167 Well, I see the campaign has gone negative. 160 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:26,206 Will you please take it off? No. 161 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,408 No, I wanna show it to the guys. 162 00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:30,110 I'm from the future. 163 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,979 I've come to tell you it does not go well. 164 00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,050 Hey. Hey, what's up? 165 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:40,287 TIMMY: Hello. Whoa. Nice jacket. 166 00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:43,290 What time is Jughead expecting you at the malt shop? 167 00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:46,694 Good one, Russell. What's the soup for today? 168 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,128 JEFF: All right, hold on now. 169 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,598 He can't wear his high school football jacket 170 00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:52,833 and not have us work him over a little. 171 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,201 Actually-- Uh-- 172 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:57,104 This is your last off-ramp, please take it. 173 00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:00,040 It's not a football jacket. 174 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,643 It's from when I was a cheerleader. 175 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,183 Let's do this. Mm-hm. 176 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,953 We've gotta go. Stop. Honey, don't worry. 177 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,822 I know you guys need to have your fun, 178 00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:16,123 So go ahead, give it to me. 179 00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:17,958 I can take everything you've got. 180 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:20,193 Which is what you said to the guys on the football team. 181 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,765 He's implying rough boys had their way with you, delightful. 182 00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:27,735 Heh. Please tell me you used pompoms. 183 00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,703 We didn't. Thank God. 184 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,271 We called them spirit balls. Oh. 185 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,108 Anyway, hey, guys, look, I had a blast, man. 186 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,678 I even hooked up with a couple girls on the squad. 187 00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:41,048 To do what, fix each other's makeup? 188 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,184 No, no. To hook up. 189 00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:46,519 And if there was the occasional moisturizing, 190 00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:51,258 well, shame on me for wanting to take care of my skin. 191 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:54,394 Why isn't this any fun? Because he's not suffering. 192 00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:55,829 He does seem rather at ease. 193 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,831 There's nothing to be ashamed of. 194 00:09:57,831 --> 00:10:01,201 Maybe we shouldn't bother. Wait, wait, wait. 195 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,670 Look at Jen. 196 00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:07,007 What? 197 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:12,680 Ah, the pack has located the weakest gazelle. 198 00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:17,785 So Jen, does Adam ever give you any dirty talk 199 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,920 through his megaphone? 200 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:25,058 Please, let me go! Hey, be strong, honey! 201 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:30,197 Okay, fine. I'm just gonna hide under the table. 202 00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,932 Oh, good thing I'm not the quarterback 203 00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:34,134 or Adam would beat you down there. 204 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:39,072 [***] 205 00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,643 [AUDREY MOANS] 206 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,312 Hey. 207 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,114 Hey. 208 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,750 AUDREY: Unh. We were just finishing up. Ah. 209 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,720 You must be Jeff. I'm Terry. 210 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,555 Okay. 211 00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,925 Hey, my purse is in the other room. Can you pay Terry? 212 00:10:57,925 --> 00:11:00,193 And give him a little extra. He's really good. 213 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:01,729 [TERRY CHUCKLES] 214 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,733 All right, yeah. 215 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,535 There you go. Thanks. 216 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,704 You're fired. What? 217 00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:14,374 You're fired. Get out. 218 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,309 [***] 219 00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:21,181 [***] 220 00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:26,019 You fired Terry? What is wrong with you? 221 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,588 No other guy's gonna be rubbing you and bending you. 222 00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:29,923 Not while I'm alive. 223 00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:31,424 And then not for a year after I'm dead. 224 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,961 I want you to sign something that says that. 225 00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:36,596 Have you lost your mind? 226 00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,732 No, the question is, have you? 227 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:41,334 Why didn't you tell me that Terry was a guy? 228 00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:42,736 What does it matter? 229 00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:44,805 And why would you assume Terry's a woman? 230 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,606 I hear Pilates instructor, I think lady. 231 00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:49,376 It's a lady job, like nurse, kindergarten teacher 232 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,444 and until recently, cheerleader. 233 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:54,614 Oh, my-- Why is this even an issue? 234 00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:56,183 You've never been jealous. 235 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,786 Hell, we go to a bar, you want me to look single 236 00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:01,488 so someone else will buy my drinks. 237 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,924 That's different. But you know what, ugh... 238 00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,525 I guess I know now 239 00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:08,061 why you were all revved up when I got home yesterday. 240 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,463 Oh, Terry is not why I was in the mood. 241 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,966 You didn't get all hot when that lady with the mustache came 242 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,968 and organized our closets. 243 00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:17,370 I am not having this conversation with you anymore. 244 00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:19,272 Can you honestly say that when we were doing it 245 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,975 there wasn't a second where you were thinking about him? 246 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:24,144 Oh, aha, no further questions. 247 00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,780 Okay, fine. 248 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:30,250 Can I swear he didn't flash into my head for one second? No. 249 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,519 But can you swear you've never thought about someone 250 00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,154 on your list of favorites, huh? 251 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:37,457 Christina Aguilera, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Aniston. 252 00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,226 Okay, you've made-- No, no. Wait, wait. 253 00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:41,528 I'm still on the A's. You're the one 254 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:43,964 always saying, it doesn't matter where you get your appetite 255 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,698 as long as you have dinner at home. 256 00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:48,635 That's only for guys. 257 00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:51,939 What do your ears hear when you talk, huh? 258 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:54,875 Okay, look, I don't know any of those women 259 00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,844 and they certainly don't have their hands 260 00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,778 all over me right before we do it. 261 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,748 I can't believe you fired Terry. 262 00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:04,351 You know what, when I wanna hear an idiot talk, 263 00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:07,454 I'll come back out. I'm going to the bedroom. 264 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,422 Okay, now, you're saying bedroom 265 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:14,527 but I'm not really getting a sex vibe. 266 00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:15,996 But I am willing to, uh-- 267 00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:17,497 [DOOR SLAMS] 268 00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,967 Jessica Alba would never toy with me like that. 269 00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:23,036 [***] 270 00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,406 It's just the way I speak. 271 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:30,343 Schedule, aluminium, sandwich. Heh. 272 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,012 Well, that one's pretty much the same. 273 00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:35,115 You're funny. 274 00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:41,955 What was that all about? Oh, guess who couldn't stop 275 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,291 going on about someone's charming accent. 276 00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:46,293 I knew I shouldn't have gone to the bathroom. 277 00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:49,129 Stupid free iced tea refills. 278 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:52,099 More iced tea, Russell? Yes, please. 279 00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:54,767 Oh, hello, Mr. Bingham. RUSSELL: Hey. 280 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,203 Hey there. Do you know what you want? 281 00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:58,505 Cheeseburger, fries. Thanks. 282 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,273 Bye, Beth. 283 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:02,142 Cheerio. 284 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,477 Oh, God. Take it easy with that, all right? 285 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:07,114 Don't kid yourself. She'd never take you over me 286 00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:10,650 unless she wants a curry slurpee. 287 00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:12,219 You're right. 288 00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:14,587 If she foregoes intelligence, refinement and charm 289 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,958 in favor of a withered sugar granddaddy. 290 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:24,364 Ah, looks like the battle of who gives a crap rages on. 291 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:27,000 What are you still doing here? I thought Audrey had Pilates. 292 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,701 Shouldn't you be home stuffing the goose? 293 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:33,974 Turns out Aud's Pilates instructor, a dude. 294 00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,442 What's the problem? 295 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:38,178 He preheats the oven and you put in the bird. 296 00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:39,846 The issue is, doing it wise 297 00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:42,649 she should be thinking about me and nobody else. 298 00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:44,151 Why? When I'm with chick, 299 00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:46,019 I don't care if she's thinking of someone else. 300 00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:48,488 Of course she is. Look at you. 301 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,993 It's your only hope. 302 00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:55,095 I mean, after 15 years, what do you want? 303 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,664 Hey, Jeff, you got a new gray chest hair. 304 00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:59,432 Let's do this. 305 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,736 At least I've got chest hair. When I saw you 306 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,138 in the locker room last week 307 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,374 I thought you were Dakota Fanning. 308 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:11,511 Oh, you mean young and adorable? I'll take it. 309 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,480 Wow. 310 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,582 Listen, everyone fantasizes about someone better. 311 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:18,018 That's what better people are for. 312 00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:19,486 I know, but the people 313 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,421 that I fantasize about I'm never gonna meet. 314 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,524 Unless Halle Berry returns your fan letters. 315 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:27,995 Audrey is-- She's fantasizing about some guy 316 00:15:27,995 --> 00:15:30,397 who was just rubbing her and groping her. 317 00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:33,766 Here's your-- Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry. 318 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,069 There's dressing on your pants. 319 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:45,078 Let me grab a wet rag. 320 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,214 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 321 00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,016 Let's get her back here. 322 00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:51,018 Oh, my God. 323 00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:54,221 Beth, I spilled too. I need a... 324 00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:01,761 [SPEAKING IN SPANISH] 325 00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:03,663 No. 326 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:04,964 [JEFF & TIMMY CHUCKLING] 327 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,499 RUSSELL: Thank you. Thank you. Heh. 328 00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:09,036 Nice to see you, Manuel. No, I'm fine. 329 00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:11,004 [***] 330 00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:13,540 [JEFF SIGHS] Hey. 331 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:15,442 If you're looking at Chippendales dancers, 332 00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:18,045 don't worry about it. I can take it. 333 00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:22,815 Yes, Jeff, because oiled gay men in bow ties really get me going. 334 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,617 No, you'll be happy to know 335 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:27,054 I'm looking for a female Pilates instructor. 336 00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:28,888 The way God intended. 337 00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:34,027 I'm sure that God was okay with guy Pilates instructors. 338 00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:36,663 So if it's good enough for him-- Or her. 339 00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:39,399 Don't push it, Audrey. 340 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,769 Look, I'm sorry that I, uh, overreacted. 341 00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,937 It's just the thought of some guy... 342 00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:46,806 Look, don't even say it. 343 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:49,842 When you know you have nothing to worry about. 344 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,212 You're my man, period. 345 00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:55,148 Heh, and in a way, your insanity was flattering. 346 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,949 You're welcome. Besides, 347 00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:59,386 I'm better looking than Terry anyway, aren't I? 348 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:03,022 Oh, come on, do I even have to answer that question? 349 00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:06,893 Seriously, please don't make me. 350 00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:09,196 Here's an idea. How about the next time we do it 351 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:11,464 let's have it be just us. 352 00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:14,301 Hmm, you sure Penelope Cruz won't feel left out? 353 00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,637 I am not sure. 354 00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:21,874 But she can take care of herself, which she's used to. 355 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,411 It's a pretty consistent part of the fantasy. 356 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,779 Seriously, I'm gonna record you. 357 00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:28,948 You should know what you're putting out there. 358 00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:31,584 Speaking of putting out. 359 00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:36,022 Uh-uh, try harder. All right. 360 00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:38,091 Hey, pretty lady, how about we try out 361 00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:40,093 that no fantasy policy right now? 362 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,162 Better. 363 00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:47,734 [JEFF'S VOICE] I'm gonna make you forget all about that Pilates loser. 364 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:55,642 [AUDREY'S VOICE] Mm. I bet you will, my big, sexy man. 365 00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:59,279 [***] 366 00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,851 Oh, my God, have you guys been here all day? 367 00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:06,753 We took an hour break when Beth had lunch. 368 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,455 Yeah, she spotted us at the park though. 369 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:10,723 If it comes up, we're avid bird watchers. 370 00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,759 She's a waitress. They're paid to be friendly. 371 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,527 Exactly. That's what I keep telling him. 372 00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,829 I was talking to both of you. What? She likes me. 373 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:20,333 Really? Just like Roxie, the lap dancer liked you. 374 00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,335 Yes, she did. The only thing 375 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:25,172 that stood between us and happiness was club policy. 376 00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:28,575 Seriously, when are you guys gonna stop kidding yourselves? 377 00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:31,778 [RUSSELL & TIMMY SIGH] 378 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:34,347 You know what, Mr. Dunbar, perhaps, uh, we should admit 379 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:35,815 that Jennifer has a point. 380 00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,184 Yeah, maybe she's right. 381 00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:38,518 I don't think she's into either of us. 382 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,353 We should get out of here. 383 00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:42,489 Hey, I don't know if you guys have room 384 00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:43,990 but here's a muffin on the house. 385 00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:45,292 Oh. 386 00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:47,160 RUSSELL & TIMMY: See? She gave me a muffin. 387 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,595 She gave it to me! 388 00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:50,863 Give it. My muffin. Give it. Mine. 389 00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:53,200 RUSSELL: Give me. You're embarrassing! 390 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,168 Wait, wait, wait. 391 00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:56,903 Something wonderful's happening. 392 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:01,841 Oh, God. 393 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:05,378 Oh, this can't be right. 394 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,747 No. No, stay here. 395 00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:11,083 Hello. 396 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:14,321 I don't know if you all remember but yesterday you had some fun 397 00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:16,923 at my expense and then at the expense of Jen. 398 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,759 But to show her that there is nothing to be ashamed of 399 00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,262 I decided to wear my colors with pride. 400 00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:23,830 Oh, well, that's good 401 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,098 because you've got that big parade coming up, I think. 402 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:30,770 Look, honey, I know you're doing this to try and win me over. 403 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:34,974 There's just nothing good about this. It's kind of lame. 404 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,743 I see. 405 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:38,578 Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. 406 00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:40,680 Oh, no, my little sister's balloon. 407 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,816 Oh, that's really up there. I'll see if we have a ladder. 408 00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:48,221 Beth, that won't be necessary. If I may? 409 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,860 [EXHALES] 410 00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:58,565 Ready and up. 411 00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:04,203 [CROWD APPLAUDING] 412 00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:09,942 You're like a superhero. ADAM: No. 413 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:13,713 Just a simple cheerleader. It's what we do. 414 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,348 JENNIFER: You know what, 415 00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:18,184 that was actually impressive. See? 416 00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:20,520 There's nothing to be embarrassed about. 417 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,189 And way to have spirit, everybody. 418 00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:24,557 JENNIFER: Okay, that's plenty. 419 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,459 [CHANTING] We got spirit, yeah, yeah. 420 00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,528 We got spirit, yeah, yeah. 421 00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:31,964 We got what, what, what? What, what, what? 422 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,333 We got spirit. 423 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:34,867 [WHOOPING] 424 00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:39,906 [***] 425 00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:44,944 All right, everybody, check this one out. 426 00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:47,614 [CHANTING] Let's go. We're pirates, not sailors. 427 00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,716 But pirates, but pirates. 428 00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:54,754 There's no need to remind us. The football team's behind us. 429 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,289 [CROWD CHEERING] 430 00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,724 Yeah. 431 00:20:57,724 --> 00:21:00,393 My pants are falling off. 432 00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:02,529 [***] 433 00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:08,335 [***] 32159

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.