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1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:03,378
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
2
00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:05,672
Thanks for letting me
borrow all this stuff.
3
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,840
It's really gonna class up
our dinner party.
4
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:10,343
Well, Jeff will be there
to class it down,
5
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:12,637
so it should be a wash.
6
00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:13,596
Oh, hey.
Hm.
7
00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:16,141
Pretty bold, robbing us
in broad daylight.
8
00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:18,143
It's for dinner
at our place Saturday night.
9
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:21,396
Oh, all right.
Well, looking forward to it.
10
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:21,896
Should be fun.
11
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:25,400
God, that's gonna suck.
How did you let that happen?
12
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:26,859
She asked,
and we were free.
13
00:00:26,859 --> 00:00:28,111
All right?
It won't be that bad.
14
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,322
Yes, it will.
The last meal she made for us
15
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,199
tasted like balloons.
16
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,117
Those were fried clams.
17
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,786
Explain the variety
of colors.
18
00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:40,040
I can't.
But they're our friends
19
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,041
and we're going
to their dinner party.
20
00:00:42,041 --> 00:00:43,751
Oh, wait.
Dinner party?
21
00:00:43,751 --> 00:00:45,962
Are there gonna be
other people there?
22
00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:47,380
Just one other couple.
23
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,382
Don't say it.
It's the Bennetts.
24
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,383
Aw, you said it.
25
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,968
Chuck Bennett
is so boring.
26
00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:53,761
Sometimes when
I can't sleep at night
27
00:00:53,761 --> 00:00:56,348
I literally count
Chuck Bennetts.
28
00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:58,433
I know, but Chuck
comes with Laurie,
29
00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:00,602
and Laurie's an old friend
of Jennifer's.
30
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,645
Besides, we can make
a drinking game out of it.
31
00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:05,982
Every time Chuck says
"long story short" drink.
32
00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:09,069
Yeah, but remember what
we're gonna be drinking.
33
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,196
Oh, God,
that's right.
34
00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:14,157
Chuck always
brings that beer he makes.
35
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:15,867
In his bathtub.
36
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:18,578
Like Anheuser-Busch doesn't know
what they're doing.
37
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:22,790
I gotta drink pale ale filtered
through his hair trap.
38
00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:24,251
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
39
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:27,420
Please be
a serial killer.
40
00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:31,674
Hey, Brad. Jackie.
Hey, Jeff.
41
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:34,093
Guys. Hey, come in.
Audrey.
42
00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:36,888
Oh, you're looking gorgeous
as usual.
43
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:39,807
Back off, buddy,
that's my wife.
44
00:01:39,807 --> 00:01:40,308
[LAUGHS]
45
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:43,145
It's funny, because he
doesn't like girls.
46
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,438
One of those things
is true.
47
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:48,275
Come on, what's the point in
having friends that are gay
48
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:51,111
if you can't ride 'em
a little?
49
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,739
Forget I just said that.
50
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:56,866
Anyway,
51
00:01:56,824 --> 00:01:58,743
we're sorry to
pop over unannounced,
52
00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:02,872
but we sent you an invite
to our party and someone
53
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:04,124
mailed it
without a stamp.
54
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,667
Yeah, it's the crime
of the century.
55
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:09,671
Just give it to them,
my big Black Forest ham.
56
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:10,547
[CHUCKLES]
57
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:11,673
This Saturday night.
58
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,675
It's just friends
and a few clients.
59
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,968
Very casual.
Stop underselling it.
60
00:02:15,968 --> 00:02:17,304
It's gonna be huge.
61
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,012
We got a fabulous caterer,
62
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:21,183
yummy waiters, and there's
gonna be famous people there.
63
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:23,893
We would love to come Saturday,
but we already have plans.
64
00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:27,439
So we're gonna miss a really
great famous-person party
65
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:30,692
for Chuck Bennett
and his bathtub hooch?
66
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,444
Is that a band?
67
00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:35,155
We're already committed.
End of story.
68
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,239
Ah. Damn it.
69
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:39,116
Come on, take me
to Pinkberry.
70
00:02:39,116 --> 00:02:39,992
Wow.
71
00:02:39,992 --> 00:02:43,830
I'm not even that gay
when we're having sex.
72
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:45,790
[ALL LAUGHING]
73
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,792
Goodbye.
74
00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:52,004
Audrey.
75
00:02:52,004 --> 00:02:52,880
Don't even say it.
76
00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:54,674
We already promised
Adam and Jen.
77
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:55,842
Verbally.
This is in writing.
78
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,135
It'll be Adam and Jen's
word against ours.
79
00:02:58,135 --> 00:03:01,556
We can't cancel just because
we got a better invitation,
80
00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,308
all right?
You don't do that to friends.
81
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,477
We're gonna miss
a really great party
82
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,519
with top-shelf booze,
83
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:11,190
purchased from a store,
untouched by human buttocks.
84
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:14,777
We're going to Adam and Jen's,
all right? Drop it.
85
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:15,278
Fine.
86
00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:17,405
I can't promise
it won't come up again
87
00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:20,908
when I'm drunk
on ass-beer.
88
00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:22,910
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]
89
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:27,499
♪♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪♪
90
00:03:27,915 --> 00:03:32,712
♪♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪♪
91
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:35,340
♪♪ With you by my side ♪♪
92
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,634
♪♪ There is no denyin' ♪♪
93
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:42,013
♪♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪♪
94
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:46,976
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
95
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,479
Pass the salt.
96
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:52,315
Say we can go
to Brad's party.
97
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,235
No.
98
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,778
No salt.
99
00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,364
[RUSSELL SIGHS]
100
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:01,908
Boy, you two look bummed.
101
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,869
What is it,
12 years now?
102
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:06,871
[LAUGHING]
103
00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:09,457
Oh, I'm sorry.
My boss's scathing barbs
104
00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:12,043
at married life
do tickle me so.
105
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:15,380
Audrey's forcing us
to go to a dinner party
106
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,172
at Adam and Jen's.
107
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:19,259
Oh, God, I went to one
of their bore mitzvahs once.
108
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:22,887
I had to make crappy small talk
with their lame friends,
109
00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:25,640
eat those Cornish
dry game hens,
110
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,685
and play stupid charades.
111
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,646
That was
our dinner party.
112
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:32,772
Oh, really?
113
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,231
Well, in that case,
114
00:04:34,231 --> 00:04:36,859
sounds like it blew.
115
00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:38,528
Adam and Jen's
is gonna be worse.
116
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:41,072
And Audrey won't let me tell 'em
a lie to get out of it.
117
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,865
I'm not comfortable
lying to friends.
118
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:44,867
That's the beauty
of having an assistant.
119
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:47,370
Timmy here does
all my lying for me.
120
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,914
Happy to do it, sir.
121
00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:51,916
See how good I've become?
122
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:54,377
A lie just wouldn't get us out
of Adam and Jennifer's,
123
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:56,671
it'd also get us into and Brad
and Jackie's party,
124
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,840
which is gonna have fantastic
food and booze,
125
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,592
professional athletes--
Whoa, whoa.
126
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:03,177
Professional athletes?
Yeah, Brad's a sports agent.
127
00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:04,846
What do you care?
You don't follow sports.
128
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:08,808
No, but I follow models,
and models follow athletes.
129
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,310
He's right, you know.
130
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,562
Back home in South Africa,
cricket players
131
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,939
get all the best tail.
132
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:17,942
Listen, we're going
to that party.
133
00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:19,068
Were we invited, sir?
134
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,027
Ah, it's a mere formality.
135
00:05:20,027 --> 00:05:22,905
We'll get in there
with one phone call.
136
00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:25,408
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
137
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:28,411
Yes?
138
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:31,080
Timmy, get us
into that party.
139
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:36,043
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
140
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,338
Beep, beep,
coming through.
141
00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:41,257
Really,
I'm gonna marry
142
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:45,512
the "beep beep,
coming through" guy?
143
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:49,849
So I see the kids next door
repoed our chairs.
144
00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:51,267
How are we gonna sit
at the table?
145
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,645
Not a problem. They're
coming back for that too.
146
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:54,979
Theirs isn't
big enough for six.
147
00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:59,108
So for their party they bring
nothing to the table.
148
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:02,612
Not even a table.
149
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:04,739
Hey, good news,
150
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:07,742
Jen's gonna make her famous
fried clams again.
151
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:10,036
That is good news.
152
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,413
Yeah,
they're not in season,
153
00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:12,622
but you can get anything
in Chinatown.
154
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:15,417
And they'll go great with
Chuck's latest batch of beer.
155
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,209
He's flavoring it
with fruit now.
156
00:06:17,209 --> 00:06:19,754
He's bringing raspberry.
157
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:22,339
Homemade raspberry beer
158
00:06:22,339 --> 00:06:24,091
and black market clams?
159
00:06:24,091 --> 00:06:25,802
That sounds great.
Yeah.
160
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,720
Tell Chuck to bring
an extra jug
161
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,681
because I'm gonna be
mighty thirs--
162
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,974
Hold on a second.
163
00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:32,892
Oh, no, no, no.
164
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,811
You gotta be kidding me.
165
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,979
What's the matter?
Stupid client of mine,
166
00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:39,982
Jackson Farnsworth, wants me
to meet him in Atlantic City
167
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:41,317
this Saturday night.
Damn it.
168
00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:42,777
I'm gonna
miss your dinner.
169
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:46,864
Jeff, I am sure
you can get out of it.
170
00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:49,325
I'm sure
that I can't.
171
00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:52,704
Well, I mean, at least
Audrey can make it.
172
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:53,871
Oh, no.
You jinxed it.
173
00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:55,540
Now he wants Audrey
to come too.
174
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:56,916
Turns out he's bringing
his wife,
175
00:06:56,916 --> 00:07:00,002
and insists we all
go out for stone crabs.
176
00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:02,088
Oh, no, that's too bad.
177
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:07,176
Well, I guess we don't need
the table anymore.
178
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:10,012
And I was so looking forward
to getting my clams on.
179
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:12,557
I'll tell you what.
I'll save you some clams,
180
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:13,891
you can just re-heat them.
181
00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:16,268
You better.
182
00:07:17,144 --> 00:07:20,064
I don't believe you.
183
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,859
Well, they did.
184
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:25,945
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
185
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,573
AUDREY:
Just give me the wine.
186
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:31,242
"From Jeff and Audrey"?
187
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,620
Jeff, you wrote
on the label?
188
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,246
This was expensive.
189
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:38,249
I want credit
for being classy.
190
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:42,712
[GASPS]
191
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,131
JEFF: Whoa.
AUDREY: It's gorgeous.
192
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:48,760
I bet you there's
not a clam in the room.
193
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:51,929
We should go find
Brad and Jackie.
194
00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:55,725
Good idea. Let's start
our hunt at the bar.
195
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,271
[CHUCKLES]
196
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:03,107
Oh, crap, we're supposed
to bring something?
197
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:05,151
Yes. The bottle of wine
I purchased
198
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,278
that you drank in the cab
on the way over.
199
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:11,616
Yeah, well, the conversation
wasn't exactly doing it for me.
200
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,744
Oh, this is good stuff.
201
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:15,912
Hey, Russell.
202
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:17,204
Oh, hey, Brad.
203
00:08:17,204 --> 00:08:20,625
Hey, here's something
I just picked up.
204
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,376
Just put it on the table.
205
00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:24,504
Oh, it goes right here.
206
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,631
Okay, I see how
that works. All right.
207
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:29,634
Hey, uh, by the way,
thanks for having me.
208
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,511
Well, it's hard
to say no to someone
209
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:32,679
whose assistant
followed me
210
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,557
around town
on a bicycle begging.
211
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:39,769
Yes, rather tricky day,
what with all the lightning.
212
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:43,230
Just remember, I only
agreed to let Russell come
213
00:08:43,230 --> 00:08:45,316
because you promised
to keep an eye on him.
214
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:46,818
These are my friends
and colleagues,
215
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,278
so they deserve
not to be sexually harassed.
216
00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:51,823
I can assure you, sir,
he'll be a perfect gentleman.
217
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,992
I'll settle for him keeping his
pants on the whole time.
218
00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:58,412
Hm. Didn't realize you
set the bar quite so high.
219
00:08:58,412 --> 00:08:59,872
I'll do my best.
220
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:03,042
Now, Mr. Dunbar,
we have to establish some rules.
221
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,127
Oh, dear me.
222
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,880
This is unbelievable.
I know. Do me a favor.
223
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,467
When I die,
bury me at this party.
224
00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,345
Oh, no.
225
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:16,556
Hey, what the hell?
226
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:21,227
What are you doing?
227
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:24,438
My Scotch
is out there.
228
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:26,983
Look.
229
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,444
Yeah, I know, I see it.
Single malt,
230
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:32,488
right there on the bar.
231
00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:35,032
Adam and Jennifer are here.
232
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:36,075
Oh, wow,
233
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:40,079
Chuck Bennett bored them
right out of their own party.
234
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,874
You happy? Look where
your stupid lie got us.
235
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,542
God, if they catch us,
I am gonna be mortified.
236
00:09:45,542 --> 00:09:46,878
Why did I go along
with this?
237
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:47,962
At least you have a drink.
238
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,505
Let me take a look
and see if
239
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,215
there's an escape route.
240
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,802
Oh, crap.
What? What?
241
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:57,764
Someone took my Scotch.
242
00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:00,224
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
243
00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:04,520
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
244
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:05,772
Hey, Timmy,
what are you doing here?
245
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:09,316
Turns out, I'm in charge of
making sure Mr. Dunbar here
246
00:10:09,316 --> 00:10:10,526
keeps his pants on.
247
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:12,278
Ha-ha-ha!
Good luck.
248
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,697
Timmy, why don't you
go get us some drinks?
249
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,742
Ah, a fitting
use of my M.B.A.
250
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:19,744
I love that British
sense of humor.
251
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,621
I'm from South Africa.
252
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,288
You always say that.
253
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,916
Because you always
say I'm British.
254
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,543
Oh. This is why I drank
in the cab.
255
00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:28,836
What are you two
losers doing here?
256
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:31,005
Thought you were having
some lame dinner party.
257
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,840
And you wonder
why we didn't invite you.
258
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:35,843
I thought you'd invite me
because you liked me.
259
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:38,470
Jeff and Audrey had to go
to Atlantic City
260
00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:39,639
and the other
couples canceled.
261
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,016
It's too bad because
we were gonna have--
262
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,226
Uh-huh.
Pretty girl.
263
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,356
Listen, I don't care
what it costs,
264
00:10:49,356 --> 00:10:52,484
if it's helps
the environment, I'm in.
265
00:10:52,484 --> 00:10:54,070
Yeah. No.
266
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,112
You pay that!
267
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:58,240
Get the oil off
those little baby ducks.
268
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,617
Ah!
269
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,912
These people, I can't even--
270
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:05,748
So sorry, I was yelling.
Hi, I'm Russell.
271
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,292
Hi, I'm Martina.
272
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:11,003
Oh, my God, that accent.
Where are you from?
273
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,171
The Czech Republic.
274
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:15,174
Oh. Well, then:
"Czech, please."
275
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:17,676
I must tell you,
I have a boyfriend.
276
00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:19,470
Oh, well, you should.
You're gorgeous.
277
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,180
Such a great body.
What's your secret?
278
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:24,892
Well, I make good decisions
about what I put in my body.
279
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:28,354
Oh, I'd like to be
one of those good decisions.
280
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:31,607
My boyfriend
is right over there.
281
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:35,277
Look, I can't see anyone
past Jerry Rice over there.
282
00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:37,321
It is Jerry Rice.
283
00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:40,074
Yikes.
284
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:43,035
Martina, is this guy
hitting on you?
285
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:46,038
I think that's
what he's trying to do.
286
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,039
What?
287
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,833
Martina, Jerry,
is everything okay?
288
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,626
You know, Brad,
I came to this party to chill.
289
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:53,504
And all of a sudden this
little talking chihuahua
290
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:57,842
started humping my lady's leg.
291
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,052
Why would you do that?
292
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,178
Yeah, why?
Why?
293
00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:03,472
I didn't--
I wasn't hitting on her.
294
00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,141
Doesn't even
makes sense.
295
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,392
Here's your drink,
sir.
296
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:09,186
Yeah,
just ask my boyfriend.
297
00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:09,896
What?
298
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,522
You're gay?
RUSSELL: Please,
299
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:14,984
tell 'em what I did you
last night.
300
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:18,570
Please, I beg you, sir.
[CHUCKLES]
301
00:12:18,570 --> 00:12:21,407
You sure did.
Ha-ha-ha.
302
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,035
I can't believe
we're trapped in here.
303
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:26,996
Don't worry, I'm working on a
story to get us out of here.
304
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,123
Farnsworth ate
a bad crab.
305
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:31,208
He's being medevaced
back to the city,
306
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:34,211
Bob the pilot
is letting us ride jump seat.
307
00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:36,839
Wow. You really put
a lot of thought into those.
308
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:39,801
The key to a good lie is
in the odd, specific details.
309
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:42,970
Jackson Farnsworth,
stone crabs, medevac.
310
00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:45,514
Wait a minute.
Wasn't Jackson Farnsworth
311
00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:46,974
your old college buddy,
312
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,475
who was really upset
about his divorce
313
00:12:48,475 --> 00:12:51,478
so you had to console him
instead of going out to dinner
314
00:12:51,478 --> 00:12:52,271
with me and my parents?
315
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:55,274
Different one.
It's a fairly common name.
316
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:58,069
Oh, man, you actually
used this crap on me?
317
00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:00,029
Okay, first of all,
it was a playoff game.
318
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,655
And I only lied so
you wouldn't get upset.
319
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:05,910
And you don't really wanna
know the truth about everything.
320
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:06,452
Yes, I do.
321
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,661
You wanna know
the truth? Fine.
322
00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:10,372
Ask me again.
"Did I overcook the lasagna?"
323
00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:12,666
"Does this dress
makes me look boxy?"
324
00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:14,961
"Did you kill that giant spider
in the bathtub?"
325
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,213
You didn't kill
that giant spider?
326
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:21,092
Have you killed any of the giant
spiders since I've known you?
327
00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:21,926
Not really.
328
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:25,137
But I did call
the exterminator
329
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,973
the time that
you asked me to.
330
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,265
All right.
331
00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:30,809
Oh,
Farnsworth Exterminators?
332
00:13:30,809 --> 00:13:32,519
Damn it!
333
00:13:32,519 --> 00:13:33,729
[DOOR OPENS]
334
00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:35,731
Go. Go, go.
335
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:39,818
Another bedroom.
This place is huge.
336
00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:42,905
Hey. You wanna do it
on the coats?
337
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,866
Adam Rhodes,
you filthy perv.
338
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:48,369
[WHISPERING]
Ah! We have to
get out of here.
339
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:51,288
Right after the show.
340
00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:53,624
Okay, let's go back
out there.
341
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:56,835
Oh. You mean,
we're not really gonna...
342
00:13:56,835 --> 00:13:58,462
You were serious?
343
00:13:58,462 --> 00:13:59,796
[CHUCKLES]
344
00:13:59,796 --> 00:14:01,132
No.
345
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:07,471
No show.
346
00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:09,806
What a tease.
347
00:14:10,474 --> 00:14:11,893
Hey, I just got an idea.
348
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:13,477
No.
349
00:14:14,686 --> 00:14:15,396
Hm.
350
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:18,274
All right, I'm going in
for the kill. Cover me.
351
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:18,774
Fine.
352
00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:20,484
Don't forget,
you're gay.
353
00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:21,777
Hm.
354
00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:28,325
Gayer.
355
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:34,540
[LAUGHS]
356
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,207
Hi, I'm Russell.
357
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,084
Hi, I'm--
Listen, I don't have the time
358
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,585
I normally would
to put into seducing you,
359
00:14:38,585 --> 00:14:41,755
so why don't you just pretend
that you found me adorable,
360
00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:43,090
I pumped you full of drinks,
361
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:46,969
and you agreed to come
back to my place, and, uh...
362
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:47,970
And what?
363
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:52,308
And watch the box set
of Sex and the City.
364
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:55,769
I'm such a Carrie.
It's not even funny.
365
00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:57,980
And you're a Samantha,
you know you are.
366
00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,816
He's so insatiable.
It's sex, sex, sex,
367
00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:01,943
all the time
with this one.
368
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:04,987
It's gay sex.
And we like it.
369
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,238
Oh, well, actually...
370
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:06,989
[MUMBLING]
371
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:10,242
Oh, shoot,
that was close.
372
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:10,742
Yes.
373
00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:12,869
Could have been
terribly embarrassing.
374
00:15:12,869 --> 00:15:16,082
Saw you two coming
out of our bedroom before.
375
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:19,460
You guys weren't rolling around
on the coats, were you?
376
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:21,045
No.
377
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,671
No.
378
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:25,257
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
379
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:26,842
Hello?
380
00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:28,844
Hey, I need you
to go over to our place
381
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:30,471
check and see if the wife
left the stove on.
382
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,932
We're all the way out here
in Atlantic City
383
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,391
and she's in a tizzy.
384
00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:37,061
Yeah, sure, I'll go
check it out right now.
385
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,770
How's it going down there?
Good.
386
00:15:38,770 --> 00:15:40,397
Playing roulette.
Oh, yeah?
387
00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:42,733
Hey, uh,
put 20 on black for me.
388
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:44,151
Uh, black?
389
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:44,944
Sure.
390
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:45,902
Just put it down.
391
00:15:45,902 --> 00:15:47,029
Del just spun the wheel.
392
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:48,572
He's from Margate, Florida,
393
00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:51,200
got a pencil-thin mustache.
394
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,161
The ball's landing and--
395
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:54,911
Oh, red!
396
00:15:54,911 --> 00:15:57,081
You lose.
Damn.
397
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:58,415
Double or nothing.
398
00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:00,792
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, black again.
399
00:16:00,792 --> 00:16:03,170
Okay, spinning, and--
Oh, red.
400
00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:04,505
You lose again.
401
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:05,547
Damn.
402
00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:06,757
This just isn't your night.
403
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:09,301
Hey, thanks for checking
on the stove.
404
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:11,053
You've got a problem.
Hey.
405
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:15,099
I'm not the one who couldn't
walk away from the table.
406
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:18,894
Oh, I just got an
important call from Jeff.
407
00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:22,898
He needs us to--
Oh, little cakes.
408
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,942
He's just standing there
eating little cakes.
409
00:16:25,942 --> 00:16:27,903
Our apartment's
filling with gas,
410
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,239
it could blow at any minute.
411
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:33,742
You're starting
to believe your own lies.
412
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:36,203
I'm that good.
413
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:39,415
Hold on. Jerry Rice
is going in motion.
414
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,583
He's setting
a block for us.
415
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:45,337
Come on, we got an open field.
Let's go, go, go.
416
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:56,973
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
417
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:04,106
Timmy, why are you pouting
in the corner?
418
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:09,153
Why am I pouting
in the corner?
419
00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:12,364
Well, sir,
it might be because
420
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:15,159
they're out of the bacon-wrapped
scallops I so enjoy.
421
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:17,328
Or perhaps it's because
everyone in the room
422
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,663
thinks I'm a voracious,
insatiable homosexual
423
00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:22,999
who can't do any better
than you.
424
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,377
I get why
you're angry.
425
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,963
Now I'll see if they have
more scallops.
426
00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:31,425
It's the second one!
427
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:36,305
You know what? I am tired
of being your boy toy.
428
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:37,473
Goodbye.
429
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:40,767
You know what? You've been
squawking all night, you bore!
430
00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:41,685
Go back to England!
431
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:47,608
TIMMY:
I am from
South-freaking-Africa!
432
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:51,112
Oh, hello.
433
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:52,321
Hey, tough break,
little man.
434
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,739
Looks like your
boyfriend dumped you.
435
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:57,326
Oh, yeah, him. He's--
We've been having problems.
436
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:58,034
You know what you need?
437
00:17:58,034 --> 00:18:00,204
You need to get
right back on the horse.
438
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,873
Matt, come here.
439
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,834
Oh, God,
is that the horse?
440
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:07,419
Matt,
this is Russell.
441
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:09,088
I think you're
gonna like Matt.
442
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:12,216
He's a big Samantha too.
443
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:15,844
Oh.
444
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:19,055
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
445
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:24,270
At least we had those
bacon-wrapped scallops
446
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,146
you smuggled out.
447
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,647
By the way,
where did you hide them?
448
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,191
Oh, see, that right there
is an instance
449
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:31,652
of where you want me
to lie.
450
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:32,986
[CHUCKLES]
451
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:36,407
Hey, what are
you guys doing here?
452
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:38,742
We came to check
the stove.
453
00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:39,993
What are you
doing here?
454
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:42,413
I thought you guys were
in Atlantic City.
455
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:44,706
Yeah, well, see,
ahem.
456
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:47,293
What happened was,
we, um--
457
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,920
Jackson Farnsworth.
458
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,214
It, uh--
It was my fault.
459
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:53,465
Uh, I was worried about
the gas,
460
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:56,552
and then I wasn't sure if
you guys would take care of it,
461
00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:59,138
so I made Jeff race home.
462
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,139
Poor guy.
463
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,974
I wouldn't even let him
stop to go to the bathroom.
464
00:19:02,974 --> 00:19:05,186
He had to pee in
an iced tea bottle.
465
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,812
Really?
466
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,523
Diet peach.
467
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:10,774
And you know what?
468
00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:11,900
The stove was on.
469
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:14,945
Oh, my God,
I'm so sorry.
470
00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,363
I got distracted.
471
00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:18,824
Damn you,
tiny cakes.
472
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:22,161
Well, it's okay.
No one got hurt.
473
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,705
This time.
474
00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:26,498
We'll see you guys
tomorrow.
475
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,167
Yeah.
Oh, hey, by the way,
476
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,419
we had to cancel the dinner
party with the Bennetts,
477
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:33,630
but we're gonna reschedule.
You better.
478
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:36,091
[SIGHS]
479
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:36,800
[LAUGHING]
480
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,594
Iced tea bottle,
diet peach?
481
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:41,096
Nice odd,
specific details.
482
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:42,764
I don't know
where that came from.
483
00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:46,477
Hey, you've been observing
the master all these years.
484
00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:50,272
It turns out you're
kind of a natural.
485
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,732
Maybe.
486
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:54,109
But how about from now on
we make an agreement, right?
487
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:56,570
We only use our lying skills
on the outside world,
488
00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:58,322
not on each other.
You got a deal.
489
00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:00,866
And in that spirit,
the giant spider
490
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,744
did not go crawl into
a pair of your shoes.
491
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:04,453
Aw.
492
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,705
It went into
those slippers.
493
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,999
Oh! Ew, ew, ew, ew!
494
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:11,252
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
495
00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:15,171
Oh, you just
wanna split it?
496
00:20:15,171 --> 00:20:16,798
Well,
you kind of still owe me
497
00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:19,175
for those roulette bets
I placed for you.
498
00:20:19,175 --> 00:20:20,176
Oh, right.
499
00:20:20,176 --> 00:20:23,805
I really thought you were gonna
win that second spin.
500
00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:24,973
It landed in the black
501
00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:28,101
but it just popped out
the last second.
502
00:20:28,101 --> 00:20:29,978
[GRUNTS]
503
00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:32,356
JENNIFER:
Hey, guys.
504
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:33,440
Hey.
Hey.
505
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,776
Oh, thank you, guys
for coming to our party.
506
00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:36,610
We had such
a great time.
507
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:39,238
And I'm sorry we didn't
get to talk last night.
508
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,113
Where were
you two hiding?
509
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:42,908
Actually, we weren't there.
We went to Atlantic City.
510
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:44,743
But we got the bottle
of wine you brought.
511
00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:47,663
We didn't bring any wine.
We didn't go.
512
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,039
It was clearly labeled:
513
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,832
"From Jeff and Audrey."
514
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,501
Very classy.
515
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:56,004
Wait, you guys
were at their party?
516
00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:58,882
Just...
517
00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:00,884
I believe
518
00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,803
this is yours.
519
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:08,141
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]
36703
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