Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,294 --> 00:00:03,671
[♪♪♪]
2
00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:05,380
Hey.
3
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:06,757
How'd you do in your game?
Good.
4
00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:10,051
Three hits, four hot dogs,
five beers.
5
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:11,762
Nice.
6
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:12,805
What am I
looking at here?
7
00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:14,473
Where?
Down here. This thing
8
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,350
is blocking my view
of the floor.
9
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,101
Just a little area rug.
10
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,728
I picked it up
this morning.
11
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,396
All right, so I know what it is
and who did it.
12
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:24,023
Still haven't
established a motive.
13
00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:26,318
I've been thinking
it would be nice
14
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,862
to add a little color
to our kitchen.
15
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,780
So this morning I saw that,
thought it worked well,
16
00:00:29,822 --> 00:00:30,823
so I bought it.
17
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:32,157
What'd they get you for?
18
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,576
They didn't "get me", babe,
it cost $80.
19
00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:36,620
Oh, they got you.
20
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,915
I thought
it was pretty, okay?
21
00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,750
It's an extension
of my style.
22
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,293
Your style wasn't
long enough?
23
00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:47,006
Can't I do things to make
our home more pleasant
24
00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:49,717
without every time having
to go through this?
25
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:52,344
Hey, I have to hear
that speech every time.
26
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,762
You're right, Jeff.
You know,
27
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:55,430
why make our
apartment nicer?
28
00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:56,598
Why buy things?
29
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,600
Why have art?
Why do anything?
30
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,268
That's all I'm saying.
31
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,273
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]
32
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:08,569
♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪
33
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:13,699
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪
34
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,368
♪ With you by my side ♪
35
00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:18,662
♪ There is no denyin' ♪
36
00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:22,666
♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪
37
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:26,587
[♪♪♪]
38
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,172
I'll have three eggs:
39
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,758
One sunny-side up,
the other over easy,
40
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:31,926
and the third,
41
00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:33,427
surprise me.
42
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,138
Surprise! Your
cholesterol's a million.
43
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,350
You can just have them
make it with egg whites.
44
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,063
Sorry.
45
00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:46,899
Oh, and half a dozen
brownies to go.
46
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,526
No, I said
I would bake brownies.
47
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:52,279
Jeff's dad's coming
for a visit,
48
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,406
which means I have
to put on an apron
49
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,408
and make desset
for the menfol.
50
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:58,786
Where's he
coming in from?
51
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,370
Nineteen-fifty seven.
52
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:02,915
Hey. Is it
asking too much
53
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,583
we make him feel
at home in our apartment?
54
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:05,584
Oh, Fine.
Thank you.
55
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,335
Just don't forget
you have an actual
56
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:10,005
modern-day wife, okay?
Let me say that I swear
57
00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:12,424
on the souls of
my grandchildren
58
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,217
that I will not be
the one to break the peace
59
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:16,344
that we have
made here today.
60
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,431
Why's he
looking at me?
61
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,267
The Godfather?
62
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,436
Oh, no.
I never saw it.
63
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,021
You've never seen
The Godfather?
64
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:28,065
Oh, here we go.
65
00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:30,025
My parents were hippie.
They didn't want me
66
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,902
to watch anything violent.
Close your eyes,
67
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:33,570
because I'm gonna punch you
in the face.
68
00:02:36,115 --> 00:02:38,951
All my friendships are based on
the shared love
69
00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:40,995
of the greatest film
of all time.
70
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,537
I've been trying
to get Adam to watch
71
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,290
Gone With the Wind
since we met.
72
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,334
If you have any hope for
the future of our friendship,
73
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,168
you'll make this right.
74
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:53,172
Your-- Your breath
is really warm.
75
00:02:56,802 --> 00:03:00,097
Now look, the little kid
fromJerry Maguire grew up.
76
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,477
[LAUGHING]
77
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,312
Easy, Stonehenge.
I'm in no mood.
78
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,939
AUDREY.
79
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:12,026
Which ride were you not
tall enough to go on?
80
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,611
All right, listen,
so I had a date last night.
81
00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,279
And it's pretty normal,
chat, chat, chat,
82
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:17,656
drink, drink, drink,
83
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,199
we go back to my place,
everything comes off,
84
00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,327
"Oh, I needs it.",
"Well, oh, I gots it."
85
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,039
[IMITATES BED SPRING SQUEAKING]
86
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,128
Game over,
thanks for playing.
87
00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:34,006
I'm assuming
that was all in real time.
88
00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:36,257
The problem is,
I wake up this morning,
89
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,468
she's still there.
90
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,597
You should have paid
her in advance.
91
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:45,642
You must have
been in a bad accident.
92
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,936
Looks like both airbags
deployed.
93
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,398
So, uh, it's kind
of understood,
94
00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:53,942
when a girl
sleeps with me,
95
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:56,236
she slinks out in the middle
of the night before I get up.
96
00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:57,738
It's called
the "walk of shame,"
97
00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:00,532
not the "lie there in bed
next to me of shame."
98
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,411
So-- So, what'd
you do?
99
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,538
So when she got in the shower
I made a break for it.
100
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,623
Wait, what happens
when she gets out of the showe?
101
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:09,875
Ideally, she sees I'm gone,
102
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,712
gets the hint,
and hightails it out of there
103
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,965
wondering what happened to her
life and her pa-pa-panties.
104
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:20,010
[♪♪♪]
105
00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:25,099
So we drive it
all the way back,
106
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,558
we got one deer strapped
to the roof,
107
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,143
two tied to the sides,
108
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:30,145
and one propped up
in the back seat
109
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,479
wearing sunglasses. Uh?
110
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:32,856
[LAUGHS]
111
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,691
It was hilarious.
112
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:36,235
JEFF:
God, I wish I had been there.
113
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,070
It's a funny story,
huh, Aud?
114
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:40,697
Yes, what makes it funny
is-- Is the high body count
115
00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:43,158
of defenseless animals.
116
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,368
Yeah.
117
00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:51,250
I gotta tell you,
it's really nice being here.
118
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,834
Boy, you're looking great,
champ.
119
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,711
I'm glad your business
is doing so well.
120
00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:57,338
And Audrey, you're a gal who
knows her way around a steak.
121
00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,758
Oh, well, thanks, Roy.
122
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,843
I don't know if Jeff
mentioned it, but, you know,
123
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,220
I got a promotion at work.
124
00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:04,930
Attagirl. What'd you use
for marinate?
125
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,389
Some kind of teriyaki?
126
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,349
Dad, remember you used
to take us to Benihana's
127
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:09,392
all the time?
Yeah.
128
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,478
Hey, that was
some good Chinese.
129
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:13,521
It's actually Japanese.
130
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,315
That's what all those
waiters said too.
131
00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:18,777
How about getting me
another beer, sweetie?
132
00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,405
You know what,
Roy?
133
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:25,075
Jeff and I really want you
to feel at home here.
134
00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:26,701
So please, feel free,
any time you want,
135
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,370
just go walk right
into the kitchen
136
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,455
and get yourself a beer--
137
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:31,915
I'll get it for you.
138
00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:33,792
No, no, she's right.
She's right.
139
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,629
Two tours in 'Nam,
I can certainly get my own bee.
140
00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:40,465
Be right back.
141
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,384
You see that?
142
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:45,428
People can change.
143
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:46,847
All it takes is a little
encouragement
144
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:48,265
from the right person.
145
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:50,267
[LOUD THUD]
[ROY SCREAMS]
146
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:51,977
Aw! Oh!
147
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,395
Pop,
what happened?
148
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,232
Stupid rug.
149
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:03,030
Thank God the Vietcong
didn't have these.
150
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:06,992
[♪♪♪]
151
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,035
[GUNSHOTS ON TV]
152
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:11,330
This is my
new favorite movie.
153
00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:15,250
Ooh, take that,Sisterhood
of the Traveling Pants.
154
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,169
[PHONE RINGS]
155
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,296
Whoa. Pause it.
156
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,381
Oh, no it's
my doorman Ernesto.
157
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,635
Heather's still
at my place.
158
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:28,513
Looks like
we got us a stayer.
159
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,099
What's a stayer?
160
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,060
Uh, how do I
put this
161
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,394
in a way that's not
demeaning to women?
162
00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:38,023
Are you familiar
with barnacles?
163
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:40,441
Okay, I get it.
164
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,943
Yeah, you know wha,
it's my own fault.
165
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,195
I'm too nice.
166
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,863
Time to scrape the hull.
167
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,282
What are you going to do?
168
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,076
I'm gonna have my
super shut off the water.
169
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,828
Oh, you wanna dance, Heather?
We'll dance.
170
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:54,331
I just hope dancing
doesn't make you thirsty.
171
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,499
What are you guys--?
172
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,460
The Godfather?
Really?
173
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,755
What?
I've been begging you to watch
174
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,924
Gone With the Wind forever,
and you blow me off.
175
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,424
Jeff tells you to watch
The Godfather,
176
00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:07,468
and you rent it
like you're his bitch?
177
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,848
I'm not his bitch.
178
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,600
He just makes me
do stuff sometimes.
179
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,397
You wanted me to go to the
X Games with you, I did.
180
00:07:18,479 --> 00:07:21,108
You wanted me to play paintball
with you, I did.
181
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,609
And you shot me
in the neck.
182
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,527
Because you gave away
our position.
183
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:25,946
My point is,
I did it
184
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,656
because it was
important to you.
185
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:30,700
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
186
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,493
Yikes.
187
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,037
I thought that
would never end.
188
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,165
Where are you goin?
189
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:38,666
I'm watching
Gone With the Wind.
190
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,128
Why?
Because, Russell, she's right.
191
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:43,338
If it's important to her,
it's important to me.
192
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,257
She's my fiancée.
193
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,134
Oh, fine,
let a woman dictate
194
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,677
how you run your life.
195
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:52,722
Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm going...
196
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,016
anywhere but home.
197
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,477
[♪♪♪]
198
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:00,814
Hey, Audrey,
honey?
199
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:01,898
Yes, Roy?
200
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,319
I got a dead soldier here.
Hit me again, would you?
201
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,403
Sure, yeah.
202
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,156
Did you not like the brownies
I made?
203
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,241
Specifically for you?
204
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:13,285
Ah. I'm not
a big nut guy.
205
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,371
I guess I could make
you another batch.
206
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,416
Only if it's not
too much trouble.
207
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:20,792
[SIGHS]
208
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,169
[CLEARS THROAT]
209
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:24,879
A little gooier this time,
210
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,798
as long as you're
redoing them, huh?
211
00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:32,553
Hey, Pop.
212
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:33,805
Hey.
213
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,849
How's that ankle
feeling?
214
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:37,809
Not great.
215
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:38,935
I gotta keep it elevated,
216
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,603
so the beer's
not getting to it.
217
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:42,730
Where's Audrey?
218
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,316
In her office.
219
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:45,942
[LAUGHS]
220
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,735
That's a good one.
221
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,114
Hey, Aud.
Hey.
222
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,326
Nine brownies
in the trash?
223
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:56,577
Yes, Rain Man.
224
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,830
They were too nutty,
and your dad likes them gooey
225
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:00,665
I like them cakey.
226
00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:03,084
Explain that.
227
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,711
You know,
I am sorry about his ankle,
228
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:08,340
but in the last hour
I have fetched him beers,
229
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,800
I have made him a sandwich,
I fluffed his pillows
230
00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:12,886
and tracked down the phone
number for Frito-Lay.
231
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,429
He had both a question
and a comment.
232
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:18,016
Aud, it's not like the ankle
thing was his fault.
233
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,685
He's not the one
who put out
234
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,522
the $80 rug of death.
235
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,774
What a surprise,
you're siding with him.
236
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:29,236
I don't always side with him.
For example,
237
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,696
he likes
his brownies gooey,
238
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:33,698
whereas I like mine--
239
00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:37,118
Cakey.
240
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,871
[♪♪♪]
241
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,000
[MAN SCREAMING OVER TV]
242
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:48,463
Hm.
243
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:52,259
Maybe I should use the old
horse's head trick
244
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,135
to get Heather
out of my place.
245
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,721
She's been
in bed with you.
246
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,765
I don't think a horse's head
would scare her.
247
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,104
Oh.The Godfather.
248
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,189
I see.
249
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:08,149
The reason we're watching
The Godfather, Jennifer,
250
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,778
is because I finished
Gone With the Wind.
251
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:13,238
Really? You did?
252
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:16,533
Mm-hm.
As God is my witness.
253
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:19,953
Oh, yuck, look,
it's skin crawling.
254
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:22,122
Did you like it?
255
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:24,082
Oh, yeah.
It was totally sweeping,
256
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,708
and-- And epic-y.
257
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,668
"Frankly, my dear,
I don't give a damn."
258
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,422
Screw you, you're the one
who made me watch it.
259
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:35,218
No, it's from the movie.
At the end.
260
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,554
Oh, yeah, the end when she's
never going to be hungry again.
261
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:39,180
No. That's the end
of part one.
262
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,018
There-- There's a part two?
263
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,103
Yes.
264
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,022
Did you know
about this?
265
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,149
I kinda did.
266
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:52,902
You are gonna love
part two even more.
267
00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,195
Watch it while
I go to the gym,
268
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:55,572
and then we can
talk about it.
269
00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:57,865
Okay,
it's-- It's great.
270
00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,534
[DOOR CLOSES]
271
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,702
I-- I can't do this.
272
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,663
I mean, part one
already stole my youth.
273
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,166
All right,
I'll tell you what.
274
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,626
We'll watch the end
ofGodfather,
275
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,252
and then I'll summarize
276
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,629
the rest of
Gone With the Wind.
277
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,130
Give you all the key
talking points
278
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,923
so when Jen comes back
you're good to go.
279
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:16,510
Okay, I-- I just can't believe
I'm taking advice
280
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:19,429
from someone who's trying to
smoke a woman out of the hole.
281
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,140
Oh, my God,
thank you.
282
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,600
That's great.
283
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,479
Ernesto,
284
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,773
do you have any smoke bombs
leftover from Cinco de Mayo?
285
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,900
Excellent.
286
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,028
All right,
here's what we do.
287
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:36,613
[♪♪♪]
288
00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:37,864
[SIGHING]
289
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,574
[CLEARS THROAT]
Thanks, sweetie.
290
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,075
Oh, and Aud.
291
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,952
What do
you need, Roy?
292
00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:44,912
Another utensil to scratch
under your boot,
293
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,582
or is the cake knife from our
wedding still doing the trick?
294
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:50,751
I was just gonna say
295
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,338
that I'm sorry for putting you
out like this.
296
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,507
I know you've been busting your
hump for me all day,
297
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:56,633
and I appreciate it.
298
00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:57,967
Oh, well,
299
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,679
thanks, Roy.
300
00:12:00,719 --> 00:12:04,098
There is actually
just one more little thing,
301
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,767
and then I promise-- I promise,
I won't ask for anything else.
302
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,687
Sure.
What is it?
303
00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:11,398
I'm gonna need the info
on your homeowner's policy.
304
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:12,982
For what?
I got a file to claim
305
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:14,733
on my ankle.
306
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:17,571
You're suing us?
307
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:19,531
I'm sorry.
308
00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:22,409
I'll wait till
Jeff gets home.
309
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,911
He'll know where
the important papers are.
310
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,374
Hey, you're getting there.
311
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,335
[♪♪♪]
312
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,508
[♪♪♪]
313
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:42,929
Hey, Pop,
Aud.
314
00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:44,931
Hey, Jeff.
315
00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:46,433
Dad and I over here
just chatting about
316
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:48,101
his plans to sue us.
317
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:50,562
What?
It's not suing,
318
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,813
it's just one big company
taking money
319
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:54,691
from another big company.
320
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:56,859
I mean, these doctor
bills and x-rays,
321
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,445
they're not gonna
pay for themselves.
322
00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,820
Yeah,
that's true.
323
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:03,700
That's true?
324
00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:07,036
Jeff, can I see you
in the kitchen?
325
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:09,830
Careful, son.
326
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,874
That rug might be
lying in wait,
327
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,834
like Charlie
in a rice paddy.
328
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,130
What's with
the green grapes?
329
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:18,797
I thought we were
red grape people.
330
00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:20,759
Shut up.
Your father is suing us.
331
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:22,801
This is insane!
332
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:24,971
Stop yelling,
I don't want Dad to hear.
333
00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:26,389
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
334
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,017
Hi, can we use your apartment
for just a second?
335
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,269
Sure.
Come on in.
336
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,687
Thanks. How the hel
can you think
337
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,272
this is okay?
A father should not sue
338
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,690
his son and
his daughter-in-law!
339
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,484
He's not suing us,
he's just filing a claim.
340
00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:40,819
Oh. Jeff, I am right,
and he is wrong.
341
00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:42,238
Just once,
take my side!
342
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,406
It's not personal.
343
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:44,783
It's business.
344
00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:46,660
Oh, hey, that's what Tom Hagen
said to Sonny.
345
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:47,868
You watched it.
346
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,704
You made me an offer
I couldn't refuse.
347
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,247
How great is
the restaurant scene--?
348
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:52,666
Jeff!
Look, there's no need
349
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:54,125
to get all emotional
about this.
350
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,169
Oh, of course,
the woman is emotional.
351
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,420
You sound just like him.
352
00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,046
Hey, I take that
as a compliment.
353
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,882
My father is a great guy.
Yes, in many ways, yes.
354
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:04,218
But he's always thought
women are inferior.
355
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:06,346
That's not true.
He's crazy about my mom.
356
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:09,056
Because she spends all her time
waiting on him hand and foot.
357
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,849
But you know what?
Now you can take care of him.
358
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:12,059
Because I am done.
359
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:19,942
You and Jen set
that wedding day yet?
360
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:24,197
[♪♪♪]
361
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,535
Oh, this is
unbelievable.
362
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,161
What now?
363
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,996
It's a text from Ernesto.
364
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,790
Smoke bombs are a no go,
365
00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:36,000
but my stayer ordered
a pizza.
366
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,713
You're good, Heather.
But I'm better.
367
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:42,757
Hey, Ernesto,
are you hungry?
368
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,468
Take it down.
369
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,763
So?
Hey.
370
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,431
Was the second half
as good as the first?
371
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:51,599
Oh, even better.
372
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:52,433
Okay, tell me
everything.
373
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:53,810
What'd you like?
374
00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:55,478
Oh. Well, I thought
it was pretty moving
375
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,646
when Scarlett
was reduced
376
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:58,064
to picking cotton
in the fields.
377
00:14:58,105 --> 00:14:59,649
Oh, I know.
But Tara was
378
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,401
that important to her.
I know, I know.
379
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,695
And when she made the dress
out of the curtains?
380
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,739
That's probably happening
at my apartment as we speak.
381
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:09,075
All right, what else?
Well, my favorite was
382
00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:10,910
all that cool stuff that
happened to Rhett
383
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:12,829
when he went out west
and met the local Sioux tribe.
384
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:15,707
What?
385
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:17,458
You know, and they
gradually accept him.
386
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,293
And then he meets that white
woman who was raised
387
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,128
by Indians...
388
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,257
Are you talking about
Dances With Wolves?
389
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:24,965
No!
390
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,886
You kinda are.
391
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,680
What?
392
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:33,767
I didn't really saw the end
ofGone With the Wind either.
393
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,644
Why would you
do that?
394
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,772
Listen,
in my defense,
395
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:40,523
I wanted to watch
The Godfather,
396
00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:43,568
and I don't care if I create
problems for other people.
397
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,697
[♪♪♪]
398
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:50,700
Like old times,
huh, sport?
399
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,034
Yeah.
400
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:54,328
When I was little,
401
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:55,580
I used to sit on your lap
402
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,498
and watch the Mets.
403
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,793
Mm. By the fourth inning,
I couldn't feel my legs.
404
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,962
You were never little,
sport.
405
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:04,631
Yeah, and Mom would
bring you a beer,
406
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,132
and me a root beer.
407
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:07,884
[LAUGHS]
408
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,552
Remember the time
we got them mixed up?
409
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:10,428
No.
410
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,598
I'm not surprised.
You were pretty smashed.
411
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,268
Speaking of which,
I could use another cold one.
412
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,686
I got you, Pop.
413
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,897
What? Hey, no,
you don't have to do that, son.
414
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:22,941
Where's Audrey?
415
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,234
Well, she went
to the gym.
416
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,862
You know, Pop,
417
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,363
Audrey was kind of put out
by that whole
418
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:30,490
insurance thing.
419
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:32,700
I hope she gets back soon.
420
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:35,119
I'm feeling
a little peckish.
421
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,579
I'm sure you heard me.
I was saying
422
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,414
she was upset before.
423
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:39,624
Well, I'm not surprised.
424
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,041
She's like your mom,
you know.
425
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,418
They tend
to get emotional.
426
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,963
Yeah, I did check
with our insurance guy
427
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,590
and he said that our premiums
would probably go up.
428
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:49,008
Yeah, that's
how they get you
429
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:51,719
In this case,
that's how they get me.
430
00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,723
Hey, she'll still be able
to buy her stupid rugs.
431
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,309
Hey, it's not stupid.
432
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,520
It adds color
to the kitchen.
433
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,271
It's an extension
of Audrey's style.
434
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,483
Okay,
just get me the beer.
435
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,193
You know what, Pop?
Audrey was right.
436
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,862
About what?
You don't file a claim
437
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,738
against your own family.
438
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,615
And you don't come in here
and treat my wife
439
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,534
like a second-class citizen.
440
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:16,536
Whoa, this is the way
you talk to your father?
441
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,621
When he's got it coming.
You can act like some
442
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,665
kind of caveman in your own
home, but in our house,
443
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,918
women are equal to men.
They're men with boobs.
444
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:28,548
[♪♪♪]
445
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:34,888
Okay, it's officia.
446
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:36,890
Thank you for watching
Gone with the Wind.
447
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,351
So I passed?
Yeah, you got eight,
448
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,228
out of the 10
multiple choice right.
449
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:45,523
And your essay was solid
but not spectacular.
450
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,526
Hey, guys.
This is Heather.
451
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,570
Heather, this is
Adam and Jenn.
452
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,196
I'm gonna
go to the ladies.
453
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,281
Can you order me something? I
haven't eaten in so long,
454
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,616
I'm pretty lightheaded.
455
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,535
Yeah, you got it.
Yeah.
456
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,873
So, that's the stayer?
457
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,082
Oh, yeah.
458
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:05,001
Thirty-seven hours
she stuck it out.
459
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,087
No food,
no running water.
460
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:10,172
Just the clothes
on her back.
461
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:12,091
Wow. So why'd you
finally go home?
462
00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:15,678
Was it the government's new
No Skank Left Behind law?
463
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:17,555
No, it wasn't.
464
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,348
You know, the longer
she hung in there,
465
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:22,226
the more impressed I was
with her sheer force of will.
466
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,896
She really earned my respect
and deserves a reward.
467
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,231
Oh, and going out with you
is the reward?
468
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,945
I'm sorry, I was distracted
by the crumb in your mustache.
469
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,448
Hey, at least
she can grow a mustache.
470
00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:37,909
Don't help.
471
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,203
[♪♪♪]
472
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,625
Okay, thanks, Oscar.
473
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,794
Dad, your cab's outside.
474
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,629
Better hurry.
The meter's probably running.
475
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,298
That's how
they get you.
476
00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:56,052
[DISHES CLATTERING]
477
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,556
Hey.
Thanks again.
478
00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,934
Hey, all 21st century men
help with the dishes.
479
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,019
[LAUGHS]
480
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,729
I meant thank you
for sticking up for me
481
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:07,772
with your dad.
482
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,565
Well, you know.
483
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:10,984
I know.
484
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:13,152
You are a good man.
485
00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:15,780
And you are a good man
486
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:17,657
with boobs.
487
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,366
[LAUGHS]
488
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:21,995
ROY:
Come on, guys, I'm ready.
489
00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:23,496
You know that
meter's running.
490
00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:27,541
Well, goodbye, Roy.
491
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:30,753
Sorry again
about your ankle.
492
00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:32,588
Just think
of my busted tendon
493
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,090
as an extension
of your style.
494
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:37,343
And I'm sorry I was such
a pain in the ass.
495
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:38,552
Ah, don't worry
about it.
496
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:39,929
Here, some brownies
for the road.
497
00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:40,847
Oh. Gooey?
498
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,265
You'll need
a straw.
499
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:44,350
[LAUGHS]
500
00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:45,267
Come here.
501
00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:47,645
Come here, hey.
502
00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:51,983
Son?
503
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:54,276
Nice seeing you, Pop.
Okay, buddy.
504
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:55,653
Thanks for
everything, guys.
505
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:56,904
See you a week
from Thursday.
506
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:59,032
You got it.
Wait.
507
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,700
What's a week
from Thursday?
508
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,119
The, uh, deposition.
509
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:04,871
What?
510
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,622
I thought you told him
not to pursue that.
511
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:08,624
I did, but it doesn't mean
he listened.
512
00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:10,501
He's my dad.
Unbelievable.
513
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,337
At least you and I
are on the same side.
514
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:14,463
How do you figure?
515
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:16,132
Codefendants.
516
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,634
Hm?
517
00:20:19,426 --> 00:20:22,055
Yeah.
Mm-hm.
518
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:25,474
[♪♪♪]
519
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,312
[♪♪♪]
520
00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:32,439
Mm,
521
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,233
cakey.
522
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:37,904
"I know it was you, Fredo.
523
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,446
"You broke my heart.
524
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:40,781
You broke my heart."
525
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:42,700
You watched Part Two?
526
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,411
"You keep your friends close
but your enemies closer."
527
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,371
"In my home! In my bedroom!
Where my wife sleeps,
528
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,123
and my children play
with their toys!"
529
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:52,001
Both of those movies
are unbelievable.
530
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,129
I told you.
Welcome back, friend.
531
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:57,506
And you will be happy to know
that I also watched Part Three.
532
00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:58,758
Best one of all!
533
00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:01,385
What?
534
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:03,971
You're dead to me.
535
00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:06,515
[♪♪♪]
536
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,980
[♪♪♪]
37170
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof