All language subtitles for Queer As Folk Season 3 Episode 7 Stop Hurting Us full HD on SFlix Free

ONE TWO, THREE, FOUR,

ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX.

SHAKE IT, DUDE.

Man 1: [ On video ]
I'D LIKE TO SEE

THE DEFENDANT IN
MY CHAMBERS...

PRIVATELY.

Man 2:
YES, YOUR HONOUR.

Man 1:
THIS IS PROVING TO
BE A DIFFICULT CASE.

THE JURY IS HUNG,

AND FOR THE RECORD,
YOUR JUDGE IS ALSO HUNG.

THERE SEEMS TO BE A BIG
HOLE IN YOUR DEFENCE,

AND I'D PERSONALLY
LIKE TO PROBE INTO IT
A LITTLE DEEPER.

IS THAT CLEAR?

Man 2:
YES, SIR.

WILL THE
DEFENDANT
PLEASE RISE.

Man 2:
YES, SIR.

Man 1:
OH YEAH, THAT'S IT...

Melanie:
WITH ALL DUE RE-
SPECT, YOUR HONOUR,

$100,000 BAIL
FEELS UNDULY HARSH.

THE RECORDS
CLEARLY SHOW
THAT MR. SCHMIDT

HAS ALWAYS BEEN
A LAW-ABIDING,

TAX-PAYING CITIZEN

TRYING TO OPERATE A
LEGITIMATE BUSINESS.

IF YOU CALL AN
UNSAVOURY, HOMOSEXUAL
PORNOGRAPHIC WEBSITE

A LEGITIMATE
BUSINESS.

[ Whispering ]
AS IF THAT TROLL'S
NEVER BEEN TO
A PORN SITE.

YOUR HONOUR, MR. SCHMIDT
WAS EXTREMELY DILIGENT

IN KEEPING HIS
BUSINESS STRICTLY
UP TO CODE.

HE HAD NO IDEA
THAT HIS EMPLOYEE,

EDWARD STEWART MALONE,
WAS A MINOR.

Judge:
WHILE IT IS THIS
COURT'S OBLIGATION

TO UPHOLD MR. SCHMIDT'S
RIGHT TO OPERATE HIS
BUSINESS OF CHOICE,

HOWEVER UNSAVOURY,
MR. ROLLINS.

THIS COURT WILL NOT
TOLERATE IGNORANCE

WHEN IT COMES TO THE
CORRUPTION OF A MINOR.

IT WILL ENSURE
THAT MR. SCHMIDT

IS PUNISHED TO THE
FULL EXTENT OF THE LAW.

[ Shuffling of papers ]

Judge:
NEXT CASE.

Bailiff:
THE STATE OF
PENNSYLVANIA
VERSUS JOAQUIM.

I WAS BRILLIANT!

I KNEW YOU
WOULD BE.

THE AUDIENCE WAS
SCEPTICAL AT FIRST.

OF COURSE, I
DON'T BLAME THEM.

THAT ALL CHANGED
ONCE YOU BEGAN
TO PLAY.

I KICKED ASS
ON THE CADENZA,

THE ANDANTE WAS
PERHAPS A TAD
TOO CON MOTO,

BUT BY THE
FINAL ALLEGRO...

THE AUDIENCE
WAS TRANSFIXED,
TRANSPORTED.

THEY EVEN
GAVE ME...
A STANDING
OVATION.

AND THIS HUGE
BOUQUET OF...
WHITE ROSES.

BLACK COFFEE
PLEASE.
COMING UP.

I WAS THERE.

YOU...
WERE THERE?

I COULDN'T MISS
YOUR DEBUT,
SO I BORROWED
DAPHNE'S CAR.

THERE
YOU GO.

YOU DROVE ALL THE
WAY TO HARRISBURG?

WHY DIDN'T
YOU TELL ME?

I THOUGHT YOU'D
BE PISSED.

BESIDES, YOUR
AGENT WAS ALL
OVER YOU,

SO I JUST
WATCHED.

WHAT DID YOU SEE?

YOU, TALKING TO
YOUR WORSHIPFUL
ADMIRERS.

WELL, YOU
SHOULD'VE
RESCUED ME.

HEY, YOU DIDN'T
SEEM TO MIND,

ESPECIALLY
THAT CUTE GUY.

WHAT CUTE GUY?

THE ONE YOU
LEFT WITH.

OH, HIM? HE WAS
A MUSIC STUDENT.

HE WANTED TO
PICK MY BRAINS,
THAT'S ALL.

THAT'S ALL?
YEAH, WE TALKED
ABOUT GRAD SCHOOLS.

I DON'T EVEN
THINK HE WAS GAY.

FROM WHERE I
WAS STANDING,

IT LOOKED LIKE HE
KNEW HOW TO BLOW
MORE THAN A TRUMPET.

SOUNDS LIKE
YOU'RE JEALOUS.

I'M NOT JEALOUS.

THEN WHY WOULD
YOU EVEN THINK
I WAS INTERESTED?

WELL, I REMEMBER
ANOTHER YOUNG ADMIRER

WHO CAME UP TO
YOU AFTERWARDS,

TO TELL YOU HOW
AMAZING YOU WERE.

LOOK, FANS ARE
GOING TO WANT
TO MEET ME.

WOMEN, GUYS, THEY'RE
GOING TO WANT TO
TALK, TO FLIRT.

THEY'RE GOING TO
THINK I'M SEXY...

I NOTICED.

BUT THAT'S JUST
PART OF THE DEAL.

WE KNEW THIS WAS
GOING TO HAPPEN.

NOW, WHATEVER
THE BULLSHIT,

YOU'RE THE ONLY
ONE I LOVE,

THE ONLY ONE
I PLAY FOR.

SORRY, BABY,
I GOTTA PEE!

[ Running of shower ]

THE DINER CALLED, I
HAVE TO GO IN EARLY

AND TAKE OVER FOR BETTY.

HERE I JUST GOT
OFF THE LATE SHIFT.

JESUS CHRIST.

VIC, IT...
IT'S TED,

HE'S ON THE
FRONT PAGE!

HOLY SHIT, THEY'VE
ARRESTED HIM.

VIC?

VIC! WHAT'S
WRONG WITH YOU?

YOU GOT WATER
IN YOUR EARS?

[ Shriek ]
[ Gasp ]

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

UM, MORNING, SIS.

I SEE YOU'VE
MET RODNEY.

THIS PORN BUST
GOT ME A LOT
OF ATTENTION.

AND A NICE BUMP
IN THE POLLS.

THAT SHOULD GIVE
YOU SOME FODDER
FOR YOUR NEXT SPOT.

TELL ME, BRIAN,
YOU GOT ANY KIDS?

[ Sniffing ]
YEAH,A SON.

THEN I'M SURE
YOU SHARE EVERY
PARENT'S CONCERN

THAT HE MIGHT
COME ACROSS
SOME PORN SITE

LIKE THIS
SCUMBAG, SCHMIDT,
WAS RUNNING.

[ Sniffing ]
HE'S ONLY TWO.

THE POINT IS, JIM
MADE A PROMISE
TO THE VOTERS

TO MAKE THIS
CITY FAMILY
FRIENDLY.

HE INTENDS
TO KEEP IT.

YOU'LL SOON DIS-
COVER THE CHIEF'S
A MAN OF HIS WORD.

I'M FINDING THAT OUT.

Dominic:
JUST LOOK AT
THIS STREET.

BACK ROOMS,
BATHHOUSES...

IT'S A VERITABLE
BREEDING GROUND

FOR EVERY FORM
OF SEXUALLY TRANS-
MITTED DISEASE.

BUT WITH
YOUR HELP...

WE'RE GOING
TO CLEAN IT UP.

Nancy:
AND IN THE PROCESS,
WIN THE ELECTION.

Jim:
BY THE WAY, YOU
PLAY RACQUETBALL?

YEAH, I LOVE
RACQUETBALL.

GOOD.

MEET ME AT THE
ATHLETIC CLUB,

TOMORROW NIGHT,
ABOUT 8:00.

I'LL WHIP
YOUR ASS.

[ Patting of arm ]

[ Closing of car door ]

[ Moaning ]

OH... SHIT,
SHIT SHIT,
SHIT!
OH GOD.

OH, DID
YOU COME?

NO-NO-NO-NO,
THANK GOD.

OH...
WHAT?

THE CONDOM BROKE.

LOOK, NO.

NO, DON'T.

KEEP GOING.

WHAT?

I SAID, KEEP GOING.
I DON'T CARE.

BUT, MIKE...
MICHAEL, YOU
COULD GET...

I DON'T CARE.

FUCK ME!

OH... GOD!
[ Groaning ]

MICHAEL! OH,
MICHAEL. MIKE...

Debbie: [ Voice echoing ]
MICHAEL... MICHAEL?

[ Ringing of bell ]

HUH! YOU LOOK
JUST LIKE YOU DID

WHEN YOU WERE
12 YEARS OLD,

DAYDREAMING
ABOUT YOU AND
CAPTAIN ASTRO

FLYING OFF TO
SOME INCREDIBLE
NEW ADVENTURE...

OR TO FUCK.

SO WHERE'S BEN?
I HAVEN'T SEEN
HIM FOR DAYS.

HE'S JUST GOT A
HEAVY WORKLOAD AT
SCHOOL, THAT'S ALL.

MM-HMM.

WELL, IF IT
ISN'T CASANOVA!

YOUR UNCLE HAS
A BOYFRIEND,

AND WELL HUNG TOO,

AT LEAST
FROM WHERE I
WAS SITTING.

WE'VE ONLY GONE
OUT A FEW TIMES.

THEY HAD A SLEEP-
OVER LAST NIGHT.

THAT'S GREAT,
UNCLE VIC.

TRY MIRACULOUS.

I THOUGHT I
WAS DESTINED
TO SPEND THE
REST OF MY LIFE

DATING MY
RIGHT HAND.

Debbie:
SO WHEN DO I GET
TO MEET HIM WITH
HIS CLOTHES ON?

I'VE INVITED
HIM FOR DINNER
TOMORROW NIGHT.
WOO!

THOUGHT I'D MAKE
A TURDUCKEN.

A WHAT?

TURDUCKEN.

YOU TAKE A CHICKEN,
YOU STUFF IT
UP A DUCK,

THEN STUFF THAT
UP A TURKEY.

KIND OF LIKE A THREE-
WAY, BUT WITH POULTRY.
[ Chuckling ]

YOU AND BEN HAVE
TO COME TOO.

DO WE HAVE TO
HAVE THE ENTIRE
FAMILY THERE?

WELL, WHAT GOOD'S A
FAMILY IF WE CAN'T
MAKE YOU SQUIRM?

[ Ringing of bell ]
Man:
HEY, DEB, YOUR ORDER'S UP.

WOULD YOU LAY OFF
THAT FUCKIN' BELL?

THIS ISN'T A
PRIZE FIGHT.

EXCUSE ME.

[ Ringing of telephone ]

THANK GOD
MY MOTHER'LL
NEVER SEE THIS.

DID SHE DIE?

NO, SHE
NEVER READS
A NEWSPAPER.

[ Ringing of telephone ]

HELLO?

MAY I ASK
WHO'S CALLING?

ONE MOMENT.

IT'S YOUR
MOTHER.

HI, MOM.

OH, NOT BAD,
AND YOU?

OH, YOU DID?

YEAH, I KNOW,
IT'S NOT A VERY
GOOD PICTURE.

NO, LOOK...
LOOK, IT'S JU...

JUST A MISUNDER-
STANDING, MOM.

IT'LL ALL WORK OUT.

YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.

I-I-I'LL CALL
YOU LATER...

AND DON'T FORGET
TO TAKE YOUR BLOOD
PRESSURE PILLS.

SHE'S GOING
TO NEED 'EM.

"GAY PORN KING"?

I HAVE ONE LOUSY
LITTLE WEBSITE...

AND WHO DO
THEY SINGLE OUT?

ME. GOD.

AFTER I WAS SO
CAREFUL TO CHECK

AND DOUBLE-CHECK
FOR EVERY POSSIBLE
INFRACTION...

EXCEPT FOR ONE.

EDDIE.

THERE HE WAS,
THE WHOLE TIME,

RIGHT BY MY SIDE,
WITH HIS PHONEY I.D.

IT'S A PLOT
WORTHY OF PUCCINI.

Emmett:
TEDDY, PLEASE,

IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL,
YOU'LL NEED YOUR
MOTHER'S MEDICATION.

HUH, I KNOW WHAT'S
GOING TO HAPPEN.

I'M GOING TO WIND UP
ONE OF THOSE ECCENTRIC
CONVICTS YOU READ ABOUT.

THEY'RE GOING TO
OPEN MY CELL DOOR
40 YEARS FROM NOW

AND ALL THE WALLS
ARE GOING TO BE
COVERED WITH EQUATIONS
AND LOGARITHMS...

IN TEENY, TINY SCRAWL.

WE'RE GOING
TO DO OUR BEST

TO MAKE SURE THAT
DOESN'T HAPPEN.

BUT IT WON'T
BE EASY.

STOCKWELL IS
OUT FOR BLOOD.

HE WANTS TO MAKE
YOU AN EXAMPLE

IN HIS CAMPAIGN AGAINST
PORN, DRUGS AND SEX.

EVERYTHING WE HOLD DEAR.

THERE MUST BE SOMEONE
YOU KNOW WHO COULD
PULL A FEW STRINGS,

PUT IN A KIND
WORD ON MY BEHALF.

UH, THERE'S SOME-
ONE WE ALL KNOW.

BRIAN.

I'M A DEAD MAN.

YOU HATE IT.

I DON'T... I
DON'T HATE IT.

IT'S JUST, WELL, I
DIDN'T PICTURE HIM
LOOKING QUITE SO...

SO WHAT?
EVIL.

WELL, YOU SAID
THE SECRET POTION

HE'S TAKING TO MAKE
HIMSELF INVINCIBLE
HAS WARPED HIS MIND.

YEAH, BUT UNDERNEATH,
HE'S STILL A HERO,

A GOOD GUY, AND
HE WILL BE AGAIN,

ONCE ZEPHYR BLOWS SOME
SENSE INTO HIS HEAD.

HEY, GUYS.

HI.
HEY, BEN.

WHAT ARE YOU
TWO UP TO?

WORKING ON THE
SECOND ISSUE.

YEAH, WE'RE TRYING
TO COME UP WITH
THIS VILLAIN...

IT'S NOT A VILLAIN.

A FALLEN HERO.

HIS NAME IS JUICE PIG.

OH?

HE'S SORT OF A JEKYLL
AND HYDE CHARACTER.

YOU KNOW,
SOMETIMES
HE'S CHARMING
AND KIND,

AND OTHER TIMES...

HE'S A MONSTER.

WONDER WHERE YOU
GOT THAT IDEA.

SO, UH, DEB TELLS ME
THAT ETHAN WAS A BIG HIT.

YUP, HE GOT
RAVE REVIEWS...

AND A BOOKING WITH
THE BUFFALO SYMPHONY.

THAT IS GREAT.

I'LL GIVE THESE
ANOTHER SHOT.

THANKS.

SEE YA.

Ben:
SEE YOU,
JUSTIN.
I'LL GET THE DOOR.

BYE.

SO HOW WAS
THE GYM?

OH, DID, UH,
315 ON THE
BENCH PRESS.

YOU COULD USE
A PROTEIN SHAKE
AFTER THAT.

UM, I'LL MAKE IT.

UM... BY THE WAY,

VIC INVITED US
TO DINNER TOMORROW,

TO MEET HIS
NEW BOYFRIEND.

ROY AND I ARE
WORKING LEGS
TOMORROW NIGHT.

WELL, COULDN'T YOU
WORK LEGS EARLIER?

I TEACH EAR-
LIER, MICHAEL.

PLUS I GOT TO MAKE
SOME CALLS FOR PAUL'S
MEMORIAL SERVICE.

I COULD HELP YOU.

HEY, NO OFFENCE, BUT
IT'S NOT YOUR WORLD.

NEGATIVE.

AGAIN.

OH, HONEY, DON'T
TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

MOST WOMEN DON'T
GET PREGNANT
THEIR FIRST TRY.

MM, I'M NOT
MOST WOMEN.

I'M USED TO
HITTING A
GRAND SLAM,

FIRST TIME OUT
OF THE BOX.

YOU MAY HAVE TO
ADJUST YOUR THINKING.

THE DOCTOR TOLD
YOU IT USUALLY
TAKES ABOUT
TEN MONTHS.

WHAT DO WE DO
UNTIL THEN?

WE COULD PICK
OUT NAMES.
IN THE
JEWISH FAITH,

YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO NAME YOUR
FIRST-BORN AFTER
YOUR GRANDFATHER.

WHAT WAS
YOUR GRAND-
FATHER'S NAME?
HYMAN.

[ Laughing ]
OH, NO!

SHH, YOU'LL
WAKE UP GUS.

WHAT'S THE
OTHER ONE?

HERMAN.

OH, I'M PRAYING
FOR A GIRL.

[ Sigh ]

LINZ?
HMM?

DO YOU SUPPOSE
IT'S OUT THERE?

WHAT?

OUR KID.

WAITING FOR
US TO WILL IT
INTO EXISTENCE.

I NEVER THOUGHT
ABOUT IT LIKE THAT.

WHO KNOWS?

MAYBE.

[ Whispering ]
COME ON, KID.

GET HERE.

[ Beeping of car horn ]

[ Humming ]

[ Sigh ]

WELL, AT LAST.

MY OWN PERSONAL
STALKER.

HEY, THIS IS
A... THIS IS
A BEAUTY, BRI.

FIRST CHANCE I'VE
HAD TO SEE IT,

YOU KNOW, BUT
THEN AGAIN, I...
I'VE BEEN BUSY,

WHAT WITH THE
NEW HOUSE AND
WORK AND...

BEING ARRESTED
AND GOING TO JAIL.

YEAH, I SAW
THE PAPERS.

THAT'S AN
AWFUL PICTURE.

I'D SUE.

YEAH, WELL MAYBE
WHEN I'M IN
THE BIG HOUSE

I'LL STUDY LAW.
I'LL DO IT MYSELF.
OH.

LISTEN, BRI...

LOOK, YOUR FRIEND
STOCKWELL, HE...

HE WANTS THE POWERS
THAT BE TO THROW
THE BOOK AT ME.

YOU THINK
MAYBE YOU COULD
PUT IN A WORD?

WHICH WORD
WOULD YOU LIKE?

"DON'T."

SORRY, THEODORE,
NO CAN DO.

PLEASE.

I'M BEGGING YOU.

LOOK, I DO HIS
TELEVISION SPOTS.

I'M NOT THE
FUCKING D.A.
I KNOW,

BUT YOU'VE GOT
HIS EAR. HE MIGHT
LISTEN TO YOU.

WELL, YOU KNOW
AS WELL AS I DO

THAT WOULD BE
OVERSTEPPING
THE BOUNDS.

SINCE WHEN DO YOU
EVER GIVE A SHIT
ABOUT OVERSTEPPING
THE BOUNDS?

YOU WERE ALWAYS
THE FIRST TO
CROSS THEM.

IT'S BUSINESS.

BUSINESS.

RIGHT, OF COURSE.

I UNDERSTAND.

YOU GO OFF TO
YOUR MEETING.

DON'T SPEND
ANOTHER SECOND

WORRYING ABOUT A
LITTLE PISHER LIKE ME.

HERE.

THERE YOU GO.
[ Ignition of engine ]

DRIVE
SAFELY NOW.

MOTHERFUCKER.

[ Sniff ]

TRY THIS.

SMELLS LIKE
SOME GUYS I'VE
GONE DOWN ON.

THAT IS THE
GROSSEST, MOST
DISGUSTING THING

I'VE EVER
HEARD. EW.
THANKS.

I WANT SOME-
THING TO GO
WITH A BURGUNDY
OR A MERLOT.

OH, PLANNING
A PARTY?
FOR TWO.

CELEBRATE
ETHAN'S TRIUM-
PHANT RETURN...

[ Sigh ]
HAIL, CAESAR.

AND TO SUPPLICATE
MYSELF AT HIS FEET

FOR THINKING HE WAS
FUCKING AROUND ON ME.

I GUESS THAT'S
WHAT COMES FROM
LIVING WITH BRIAN.

OKAY, CORRECTION.
BRIAN DIDN'T FUCK
AROUND ON YOU.

YOU KNOW, HE WAS
ALWAYS HONEST,

RIGHT FROM
THE START.

[ Sniffing ]

THIS MIGHT BE
NICE WITH A RICH,
FULL-BODIED...

EGGPLANT.

I MEAN, IS THIS
NOT A THING
OF BEAUTY?

TOUCH IT.

STROKE IT.
INSERT IT?

I CAN'T HELP IT
IF EVERYTHING'S
TAKEN ON A SEXUAL
CONNOTATION

EVER SINCE
I MET RODNEY.

I CAN'T WAIT
TO MEET HIM.

I'M JUST...
I'M SORRY BEN
WON'T BE THERE.

I'M SURE HE
HAS MORE IMPOR-
TANT THINGS.

GOING TO THE GYM.

HE NEEDS TO
SPEND MORE TIME
AT THE GYM LIKE...

I NEED ASPARAGUS.

EXCUSE ME?

FOR THE SALAD.

A MEDLEY
OF ARUGULA,
ENDIVE,

GRILLED ASPARAGUS
AND SMOKED...

LLAMA.

WELL, THAT'S
WHAT IT SAYS.

IT'S MADE OUT
OF LLAMA'S MILK.

I CAN'T
BELIEVE IT.

I MEAN, THAT I WAS
ACTUALLY JEALOUS.

I GUESS IT JUST
PROVES HOW MUCH
I LOVE HIM...

AND I DON'T JUST
MEAN SEX EITHER.

IT'S MORE ROMANTIC.
IT'S LIKE...

BRAHMS OR... MAHLER.

UH-HUH.
I KNOW.

I SOUND LIKE
A GREAT BIG...

CHEESEBALL!
CHEESEBALL.

HERE, CATCH.

UNCLE VIC, DID
YOU HEAR ME?

BELIEVE IT OR
NOT, I CAN PICK
OUT PRODUCE

AND LISTEN AT
THE SAME TIME.

"HE'S ANGRY,
HE'S CRUEL."

HE'S NOT
THE SAME BEN.

IT'S 'ROID
RAGE, MICHAEL.
I KNOW,

AND I HAVE TO
PUT UP WITH IT.

I'M JUST TIRED
OF FEELING

LIKE I COULDN'T
POSSIBLY
UNDERSTAND

WHAT HE'S GOING
THROUGH 'CAUSE
I'M NOT POSITIVE.

SOUNDS LIKE
YOU'RE A BIT
RAGEFUL YOURSELF.

I SAID NO INTERRUPTIONS.

THERE'S SOMEBODY
HERE TO SEE YOU.

SAYS IT'S URGENT.

MRS. TED SCHMIDT?

YOU MIGHT HAVE
CALLED FIRST.

IF I HAD, YOU WOULD'VE
BEEN IN A MEETING, RIGHT?

SO, THIS IS THE
INNER SANCTUM
OF THE GREAT
GOD KINNEY...

WHERE MEN'S FATES
ARE DECIDED.

WHAT? DID
THEODORE SEND
YOU DOWN HERE

TO THROW YOURSELF
ON MY MERCY?

HE DOESN'T
KNOW I'M HERE...

AND I HAVE NO INTENTION
OF THROWING MYSELF
ON YOUR MERCY...

OR ANYTHING ELSE
FOR THAT MATTER.

WHAT A RELIEF!

I CAN COME OUT
FROM BEHIND
THE DESK.

YOU REALIZE, OF COURSE,

THERE'S A VERY
GOOD CHANCE HE'LL
GO TO JAIL.

WELL, TELL HIM TO LOOK
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.

AT LEAST HE'LL GET
FUCKED REGULARLY.

I SUPPOSE THAT'S
MEANT TO BE WITTY.

WE ALL KNOW
ABOUT YOUR
CHARMING SENSE
OF HUMOUR...

[ Closing of door ]

BUT WE
ALSO KNOW

THAT DEEP DOWN,
YOU CARE ABOUT US,

EVEN THOUGH YOU'D
NEVER ADMIT IT.

WHICH IS WHY
I'VE COME...
I ALREADY
TOLD TED

THERE'S
NOTHING...
I KNOW WHAT
YOU TOLD HIM.

I ALSO KNOW WHAT
YOU THINK ABOUT
TEDDY AND ME,

THAT WE'RE
JUST A...

COUPLE OF SILLY
QUEENS SETTING
UP HOUSE,

THAT IT'LL
NEVER WORK.

WELL, THERE
WAS A TIME

WHEN I WOULD'VE
THOUGHT EXACTLY
THE SAME THING.

BUT MIRACLE
OF MIRACLES,

I HAVE NEVER
BEEN HAPPIER IN
MY ENTIRE LIFE

AND YOU WANT
TO KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE HE
GIVES ME LOVE...

AND RESPECT.

AND NOW IT IS MY
TURN TO GIVE HIM
SOMETHING BACK.

NOW I SWORE TO
MYSELF THIS WASN'T
GOING TO WIND UP

AN OLD
LANA TURNER
MOVIE,

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE
THAT'S THE DIRECTION
IT'S HEADED,

SO I'M GOING TO
MAKE LANA PROUD.

PLEASE, BRIAN...

I AM BEGGING YOU.

HELP HIM.

Debbie:
VIC COOKS,
I COOK,

ALL THE GRASSIS
ARE COOKS.

NONNY, UH, THAT
WAS OUR GRANDMOTHER,

NONNY MADE CANNOLI
THAT WAS...

LIGHTER THAN AIR.

BEFORE SHE DIED, SHE
ASKED ME WHAT I WANTED,

I SAID HER
RECIPE.

SHE WOULDN'T
GIVE IT TO ME.

SHE TOOK IT WITH HER
RIGHT TO HER GRAVE.

WHICH IS WHY
WE'RE HAVING
POACHED PEARS...

WITH ALMOND
CREAM.

OOH.
Debbie:
AH!

AND HER GNOCCHI,

WELL, IF YOU'VE
EVER TRIED
TO MAKE IT,

YOU KNOW IT
CAN COME OUT
LIKE BULLETS.
MA.

MA, WOULD YOU
LET RODNEY TALK?

WHO'S STOPPING HIM?

YOU SORT OF
HAVE TO DIVE
IN AROUND HERE.

YOU WERE TELLING
US HOW YOU AND
VIC MET.

A POZ MEN'S GROUP.

MM-MMM.

AT A POZ
MEN'S GROUP.

WE SAW EACH OTHER
ACROSS A CROWDED ROOM.

I DIDN'T EVEN
WANT TO GO,

BUT SOME
FRIENDS OF MINE
CONVINCED ME

THAT I SHOULD
MEET SOME
POSITIVE MEN.

WHY'S THAT?

I'D BEEN DATING
NEGATIVE MEN
FOR A WHILE

AND IT NEVER
SEEMED TO
WORK OUT.

NO MATTER HOW
HARD WE TRIED,

THEY COULD NEVER
REALLY UNDERSTAND

WHAT IT WAS
LIKE LIVING WITH
THIS THING...

AND WITH VIC,
THERE'S NO NEED
TO EXPLAIN.

WE ALREADY KNOW
WHAT EACH OTHER'S
GOING THROUGH.

INSTEAD OF
SEPARATING US,
IT BROUGHT US
CLOSER TOGETHER.

OF COURSE, NOT EVERY-
ONE WHO'S POSITIVE

FEELS
THAT WAY.

YOU MIND IF I
ASK, ARE YOU...

Debbie:
NO, HE ISN'T,

BUT HIS
BOYFRIEND IS.

OH, I'M SORRY.

I NEVER MEANT TO
SAY THAT YOU...
IT'S...
IT'S OKAY.

I'M... I'M
SURE THERE'RE
A LOT OF THINGS

I'LL NEVER
UNDERSTAND...

BUT IT'S NOT
FOR A LACK
OF TRYING.

WOO!

[ Chuckle/panting ]

WHOO... DON'T YOU
KNOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO LET THE BOSS WIN?

WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

SOME PEOPLE MIGHT
SAY IT'S SMART.

YEAH, WELL, SOME
PEOPLE ARE STUPID.

WHY WOULD YOU TRUST
ME IF I LET YOU WIN?

SCORE ANOTHER POINT.

BESIDES, I DON'T
LIKE TO LOSE.

THAT MAKES
TWO OF US.

YOU WANT TO CHECK
OUT THE STEAM ROOM?

LOVE TO.

I ASKED THE D.A.
TO FAST-TRACK THE
SCHMIDT TRIAL

IN TIME FOR
THE ELECTION.

I WAS ALSO
THINKING...

WE SHOULD DO A TV
SPOT WITH A BUNCH
OF SCHOOL KIDS,

ON THE DANGERS
OF PORN.

YEAH, THE AD'S
A GOOD IDEA.

KEEP THE FAMILY-
GUY IMAGE ALIVE...

BUT...

THERE'S NOT
MUCH I COULD DO
WITH THIS TRIAL.

IT'S ALL OVER THE NEWS.

YESTERDAY'S NEWS.

THAT'S WHY I WANT
YOU TO KEEP IT ALIVE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S
LIKE SELLING LAST
YEAR'S MODEL THAT...

EVERYONE'S
ALREADY SEEN IT.

BESIDES, IT'S
NOT LIKE YOU
ARRESTED O.J.
[ Chuckling ]

THAT GUY'S A BUG.

HE'S A SCHMUCK.

HE DIDN'T EVEN
KILL ANYBODY.

BUT IF WE COULD
GET A CONVICTION...

AH, THAT WOULD BE
THE WORST THING,

AND YOUR OPPONENT WILL
ACCUSE YOU OF GOING
AFTER SOME SMALL-FRY

TO GET THE
FREE PUBLICITY,

THE PRESS'LL
TURN HIM INTO
A MARTYR.

IT'S LIKE MY DEAR
FATHER USED TO SAY,

IF YOU'RE GOING
TO PICK ON SOMEONE,

PICK ON SOMEONE
YOUR OWN SIZE.

SO WHERE DO WE GO NEXT?

WELL, I'D SUGGEST
THE SHOWERS.

YOU COMING?

Brian:
YEAH, IN
A MINUTE.

TO THE
NEW YORK PHIL.

AND THE
LONDON PHIL,

AND THE
VIENNA PHIL,

AND THE BERLIN
PHIL AND THE...

QUICK, NAME
ANOTHER PHIL.

PHIL FARNSWORTH?

WE WERE IN
THE SEVENTH
GRADE TOGETHER.

TO PHIL FARNSWORTH,
WHEREVER HE MAY BE.

MMM... MMM.

I LOVE
YOUR MOUTH.
AH?

YOU DO?
MM-HMM.

YEAH, YOU
HAVE THE MOST
PERFECT LIPS.

SWALLOWING.

OF COURSE, I
LOVE THE REST
OF YOU TOO,

BUT WHEN I
WAS IN THAT
HOTEL ROOM THE
OTHER NIGHT,

ALONE,
JERKING OFF...

YOU WERE TOUCHING
YOURSELF? YOU
DIDN'T CALL ME?

I WAS IMAG-
INING YOU...

KISSING ME
ALL OVER.

SWEET...

TENDAH
KISSES...
[ Chuckling ]

AND THEN...
[ Gasping ]

I WENT DOWN
ON YOUR HOT,
HARD COCK...
OH-H.

LIKE THIS.

[ Chuckling ]

AH!

[ Knocking on door ]

OH, WHO THE FUCK IS
THAT, THE GIRL SCOUTS?

I'LL TELL THEM
TO FUCK OFF.

HI, UH, IS
ETHAN...

HERE?

WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?

I WANTED TO
SEE YOU AGAIN,
SO I...

SO I DROVE IN.

WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T
HAVE. I THINK YOU
BETTER GO NOW.

Justin:
NO, WAIT.

HE CAME ALL
THE WAY FROM
HARRISBURG.

IT'S A
LONG DRIVE.

BELIEVE ME,
I KNOW.

OH YEAH? YOU HIS
ROOMMATE OR...

I'M HIS MUSE.

WHAT'RE YOU
SITTING IN
THE DARK FOR?

WAITING
FOR YOU.

TOLD YOU, I WAS
WORKING OUT.

LEGS, I KNOW.

OH, SO, UH...

WHAT'S VIC'S NEW
BOYFRIEND LIKE?

THEY'RE SO ALIKE,
IT'S UNCANNY.

MMM, WHAT SAME INTERESTS,
SAME TEMPERAMENT?

SAME DISEASE.

THEY'RE BOTH POSITIVE.

OH.

WHERE'D YOU
GET THAT?

I FOUND IT... WRAPPED
UP IN THE GARBAGE.

MICHAEL... MICHAEL,
I'VE... I'VE USED IT.

JUST P-PUT IT DOWN.

YOU KNOW, SEEING VIC
AND HIS NEW BOYFRIEND,

THAT REALLY MADE ME
THINK, YOU KNOW?

MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
BE WITH A POZ GUY.

NO... NO, NO.

I WAS UPSET WHEN
I... I SAID THAT.

I... I DIDN'T
MEAN THAT...

MAYBE THAT POZ
GUY SHOULD BE ME.

MICHAEL,
PLEASE!

PLEASE WHAT?

ALL IT WOULD TAKE IS A
QUICK JAB IN A VEIN AND...

BE OVER IN A FLASH.

I'D HARDLY FEEL A THING

AND THEN I'D BE
JUST LIKE YOU.

I DON'T WANT YOU
TO BE LIKE ME.

YOU SAID YOU
WANT SOMEONE

WHO KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE
GOING THROUGH...

WHO WAKES UP
EVERY MORNING

AND SUDDENLY REMEMBERS,
"HEY, THAT'S RIGHT,

I'VE GOT THIS THING."

WHO THINKS EVERY
TIME HE GETS A
COLD OR THE FLU,

"THIS IS IT,
THIS IS THE END."

WHO'S FILLED WITH THE
RESENTMENT AND ANGER

'CAUSE HE COULD
NEVER HAVE KIDS,

AND WHO HAS TO
SHOOT HIMSELF UP

WITH STEROIDS BECAUSE
HIS LOVER DIED,

AND HE'S
SCARED SHITLESS
HE'S NEXT,

AND WHO HAS
TO DRIVE AWAY

THE PERSON HE LOVES,

AND WHO LOVES HIM...

BECAUSE HE DOESN'T
UNDERSTAND.

WELL, NOW I WILL.

NO, PLEASE,
PLEASE, DON'T...

FOR GOD'S
SAKE, STOP!

NO, YOU STOP.

STOP USING
THIS SHIT.

STOP HURTING
YOURSELF...

STOP HURTING US.

[ Dropping of syringe ]

[ Closing of door ]

Justin:
"I WANT TO BE
WITH SOMEONE

WHO ONLY WANTS
TO BE WITH ME.

SOMEONE I CAN BE
WITH FOREVER."

A CROCK OF SHIT.

I MEANT IT.

YEAH, I'M SURE YOU
DID THE SECOND YOU
WERE SAYING IT.

CHRIST, LOOK
WHAT YOU'RE DOING
TO YOUR HANDS.

OH, SO FUCKING WHAT?

YOU'RE A LIAR!

I DIDN'T WANT
TO HURT YOU.

THAT IS SO LAUGHABLY,

SO PATHETICALLY LAME

I AM NOT
EVEN GOING TO
COMMENT ON IT!

TRY SOMETHING ELSE.

I WAS...

I WAS COVERING MY ASS.

THAT'S BETTER.

GO ON.

I WAS ALONE, YOU
WEREN'T THERE.

NOW IT'S MY FAULT.
THAT'S NOT
WHAT I MEAN.

I MISSED YOU.

SO YOU... SINCE
YOU COULDN'T BEAR

TO BE WITHOUT ME FOR
ONE FUCKING NIGHT,

YOU DECIDE TO
PICK UP SOME...
DROOLING ADMIRER?

BASICALLY, YES.

SO TELL ME,
MR. GOLD,

AS A LAST MINUTE
REPLACEMENT,

HOW'D HE DO?

DID HE KNEEL
AT YOUR FEET

AND WORSHIP YOUR
HUGE TALENT?

DID HE MARVEL AT
YOUR MAGNIFICENT
FINGERING?

DID THE WAY YOU
STROKE YOUR BOW
LEAVE HIM BREATHLESS?

IT WAS ONE
STUPID MISTAKE!

LOOK HOW MANY
TIMES YOU
FORGAVE BRIAN.

I NEVER FORGAVE BRIAN!

I NEVER HAD TO...

BECAUSE HE NEVER
PROMISED ME ANYTHING.

YOU DID.

I NEED YOU.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I'M GOING TO DO
WITHOUT YOU.

I'M SURE
YOU'LL SURVIVE.

AFTER ALL, YOU STILL
HAVE YOUR MUSIC.

IT'S THE ONLY THING
YOU EVER REALLY LOVED.

UH, EVEN IF
WORSE COMES
TO WORSE

AND YOU HAVE
TO GO TO JAIL,

IT WON'T
BE SO BAD.

HOW DO YOU
FIGURE THAT?

YOU'LL HAVE
TIME TO READ
AND WORK OUT.

IT'LL BE LIKE
A SPA VACATION.

OH YEAH, I HEAR
THE PRISON GUARDS

DO A GREAT
HERBAL BODY WRAP,

AND THE CHEFS
PREPARE A FABULOUS
LIGHT CUISINE.

I'LL COME
TO VISIT

AND WE'LL MAKE MAD,
PASSIONATE LOVE.

I DOUBT THE STATE
PEN ALLOWS GAY
CONJUGAL VISITS.

THEY DID IN
THIS FILM I SAW.

WHICH ONE
WAS THAT?

"JEFF STRYKER
DOES HARD TIME".

LOOK, EM,

I APPRECIATE
YOU TRYING TO
CHEER ME UP,

BUT LIFE,

AT LEAST AS
I KNOW IT...

IS OVER.

[ Knocking on door ]

OH MY GOD, IT'S
THE POLICE.

THEY'VE COME
TO GET ME.

THEY'VE COME
TO GET ME.
NO, NO. IT'S...

NO...

HEY. HE'S...
HEY.

OH, TEDDY!

HURRY UP,
GET DRESSED.
WE'RE LATE.

FOR WHAT?
WH-WHERE'RE
WE GOING?

THE D.A.'S OFFICE.

THEY'RE WILLING
TO ACCEPT A
PLEA BARGAIN.

YOU PLEAD GUILTY
TO THE CHARGES,

AND THEY WON'T SEEK
A PRISON SENTENCE.

OH MY GOD!

OH MY GOD,
THAT'S WONDERFUL!

ISN'T THAT
WONDERFUL, TEDDY?

I C... I C... I
CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

HOW... HOW
DID YOU
CONVINCE THEM?

I DIDN'T. I GUESS
YOU MUST HAVE FRIENDS
IN HIGH PLACES.

YOU... YOU DON'T
SUPPOSE BRIAN...

NAW, THAT'S
IMPOSSIBLE.

OH, I WOULDN'T
BE SO SURE.

YOU KNOW HOW
FORCEFUL YOUR
POWERS OF PER-
SUASION CAN BE.

Melanie:
UH, DON'T
REJOICE YET.

THEY'RE GOING TO SLAP
YOU WITH A MOTHER-
FUCKER OF A FINE.

YOU'RE ALSO GOING
TO HAVE TO SHUT
DOWN THE WEBSITE.

FOREVER?

YOU DO ANYTHING EVEN
REMOTELY CONNECTED
TO PORN AGAIN,

EVEN BUYING A FUCKING
NAKED GREETING CARD,

THE D.A.'LL SLAM
YOU TO THE WALL AND
SCREW YOU STANDING.

NOW PUT YOUR
PANTS ON.

DIDN'T MEAN
TO WAKE YOU.

I WAS ALREADY UP.

I DIDN'T GET
MUCH SLEEP.

YEAH, ME EITHER.

SO WHO TOLD YOU TO
SLEEP ON THE SOFA?

WELL, AFTER WHAT
YOU SAID, I...

I MEANT IT.

LOOK, BABY, I'M
GOING TO HAVE A
HARD ENOUGH DAY,

GOING TO PAUL'S
MEMORIAL,

SEEING ALL THOSE
GUYS WITH THEIR
SUNKEN CHEEKS.

AT LEAST THEY'RE
STILL ALIVE,

AND SO ARE YOU.

I'VE DECIDED TO STOP
USING THE STEROIDS.

GOOD FOR YOU.

THEY ARE COUNTER-
PRODUCTIVE TO MY HEALING.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST
SAY THEY'VE TURNED YOU
INTO A RAVING SHIT?

ALL RIGHT, THEY
HAVE TURNED ME
INTO A RAVING SHIT.

[ Flushing of toilet ]

I'M SORRY.

THANKS.

YOU'RE APOLOGIZING
FOR THE WRONG THING.

WELL, WHAT THEN?

YOU'RE
THE BRAINY
PROFESSOR.

YOU FIGURE
IT OUT.

OKAY, I'M SORRY
FOR SAYING

THAT I SHOULD
FIND SOMEONE
WHO'S POSITIVE.

THAT WAS THE
DRUGS TALKING.

NO, IT WAS YOU.

DON'T MAKE
EXCUSES.

IF THAT'S
WHAT YOU WANT,
THEN DO IT.

IT'S NOT
WHAT I WANT.

I WANT YOU.

AT 9:00 O'CLOCK
ON TUESDAY MORNING?

WHAT ABOUT 10:00?

I WILL FEEL THE
SAME AT 10:00,

AND 11:00,
AND 12:00.

YOU'RE REALLY
GOING TO STOP?

I ALREADY HAVE.

NOW, WHY DON'T
YOU GET DRESSED

AND COME
WITH ME?

IT'S NOT MY
WORLD. I DON'T
BELONG THERE.

YOU BELONG
WITH ME.

SOMEONE DIDN'T
SLEEP AT HOME.

WHAT ARE YOU,
A DETECTIVE?

NO, IT'S JUST THE
SAME STUNNING ENSEMBLE
YOU WORE YESTERDAY.

I SPENT THE NIGHT
AT DAPHNE'S,

IF IT'S ANY OF YOUR
FUCKING BUSINESS.

DO I DETECT
A DISCORDANT
NOTE IN LOVE'S
TENDER REFRAIN?

HEY, DEB, CAN I
GET SOME COFFEE?

COMING RIGHT
UP, HONEY.

[ Sniffing ]

[ Clearing of throat ]
I'VE BEEN, UH...

[ Sniffing ]
THINKING OF A
WAY TO SAY THIS

WITHOUT SOUNDING
MAUDLIN AND HENCE
INCURRING YOUR WRATH,

SO I'VE DECIDED TO
DELETE ANY REFER-
ENCES TO LOYALTY,

FRIENDSHIP, RE-
SPONSIBILITY,
AND BEING ONE'S
BROTHER'S KEEPER

AND GO WITH
A SIMPLE...

"THANK YOU."

WHO SAID I WAS
BUYING YOU LUNCH?

I'M TALKING ABOUT
SAVING MY LIFE.

OH. THAT.

THAT WAS
NOTHING.

WHICH IS EXACTLY
WHAT MEL SAYS
I'LL BE WORTH

BY THE TIME THEY
GET DONE WITH ME.

BUT... BETTER
"HARD UP" THAN
"HARD TIME".

HERE YOU GO, TEDDY.

THANKS, DEB.

WELL, GOOD NEWS.

I WON'T BE
GOING TO JAIL.

THANKS TO
A FRIEND.

OH, THAT'S
WONDERFUL. OH...

HONEY, I'M
SO RELIEVED.
[ Chuckling ]

OH, GOD, THAT'S
ON THE HOUSE!

JUST DON'T
FLATTER YOURSELF.

I DIDN'T DO
IT FOR YOU.

I DID IT TO PRO-
TECT MY CLIENT.

[ Patting on back ]

OF COURSE.

HOW COULD I HAVE
BEEN SO PRESUMPTUOUS?

WHOO.

I'LL NEVER
FIGURE OUT WHY
HE DOES THAT.

YOU MEAN ACT LIKE
A TOTAL SHIT?

WHEN IT'S OBVIOUS
HE JUST SAVED
TEDDY'S ASS.

[ Ringing of bell ]

Man:
ONE SPECIAL,
ONE PINK PLATE.

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO TEST EVERY
TIME YOU TINKLE.

Melanie:
SAYS WHO?

YOU HAVE TO LET
MOTHER NATURE
TAKE HER COURSE

IN HER OWN
SWEET TIME.

OH...

IT'S EASY FOR HER.
SHE'S ALREADY A MOTHER.

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL LET YOU HAVE YOUR
FUN WITH CHEMISTRY

AND GO MAKE DINNER.
SLOPPY JOES OKAY?

MEL?

DON'T WORRY ABOUT
PUTTING THE BUNS
IN THE OVEN.

WHAT?

OH MY... GOD.

IT'S...

[ Gulping ]

IT'S BLUE.

YOU'RE DAMN
RIGHT, IT'S BLUE.

WELL, THIS
MEANS YOU'RE...

YOU GOT IT.

A-ARE YOU SURE
THIS IS ACCURATE?
OH, BETTER BE,

OR ELSE I'M GOING
TO SUE THE PANTIES
OFF THAT COMPANY.

THIS IS
UNBELIEVABLE.

FIRST TIME OUT
OF THE BOX.

TOLD YOU.

DON'T FUCK WITH
MOTHER NATURE, HUH?

WELL, I'M HERE
TO TELL HER,

"DON'T FUCK
WITH ME."

WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO DO WITH
ALL THESE?

HMM?

OH, UH...

THOUGHT I'D DONATE
THEM TO CHARITY.
HMM.

YOU CAN GET
A WRITE-OFF.

YEAH, SOMEHOW,
I DON'T THINK
I'LL BE NEEDING
THAT NOW.

OH MY GOD!

LOOK!

IT'S MY REVOLVING
BED, FROM WHEN I
WAS A BIG STAR.

YOU STILL ARE.

IT'S THE DICKS
THAT GOT SMALL.
[ Chuckling ]

I NEVER LET
ANYONE ELSE
USE IT.

IT RETIRED
WHEN YOU DID.

GOD, IT BRINGS
BACK SO MANY
MEMORIES.
MMM.

THE G.I. JOE JERK,

CONSTRUCTION
WORKER WHACK.

GOD BLESS THE
VILLAGE PEOPLE.

TRUE VISIONARIES.
[ Chuckling ]

SO YOU,
UH... MMM.

CARE TO TAKE
HER FOR A
LITTLE SPIN?

UH... NO, I...

CAN'T. I GOT...
TOO MUCH TO DO.

UH... PLEASE,
TEDDY?

COME ON, ONE
LAST TIME?
[ Sigh ]

ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
START 'ER UP!

HERE WE GO!
[ Chuckling ]

REMEMBER,
YOU GAVE ME
MY PORN NAME.
HUH.

"FETCH DIXON".

NAME OF YOUR
FAVOURITE PET
AND THE STREET
YOU GREW UP ON.

YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER
TOLD ME YOURS.

[ Sigh ]

"MILLICENT KENSINGTON".

OH, IT'S ALL
RIGHT, BABY.

YOU CRY.
[ Sniffling ]

YOU CRY ALL
YOU WANT.

[ Sniffling ]
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
MOST UPSET ABOUT?

NO MORE
"RIM-A-RAMA"?

THAT WE HAD TO
GIVE UP THE HOUSE.

I REALLY WANTED
YOU TO HAVE THAT.

HONEY, YOUR
SAYING THAT...

MEANS MORE TO ME
THAN LIVING IN IT.

YEAH, NOT QUITE.

LISTEN.

WHERE I
COME FROM,

WE HAD TORNADOES
ALL THE TIME.

THEY'D BLOW THE
ROOF OFF, DESTROY
EVERYTHING.

WE ALWAYS LOOKED
AT IT AS A CHANCE
TO REBUILD,

YOU KNOW, MAKE
THINGS BETTER.

SO THE BUSINESS
IS GONE.

SO THE HOUSE
IS GONE.

SO EVERY CENT YOU
EVER MADE IS...

YEAH, YEAH,
I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.

THE POINT IS, IT
DOESN'T MATTER.

WE STILL HAVE
EACH OTHER...

AND TOGETHER,
WE ARE GOING TO
BE JUST FINE.

[ ♪♪♪]

THAT'S A
MONTECRISTOESPECIAL
SMUGGLED FROM CUBA,

SO STICK IT IN YOUR
MOUTH AND SUCK.

IF THAT'S ANY INDICATION
OF YOUR TECHNIQUE,

IT'S AMAZING
YOU HAVE A
BOYFRIEND.

I'M STILL
IN SHOCK.

WE MADE A BABY
AFTER JUST ONE TRY.

IT'S FUCKING
DEPRESSING,
ALL RIGHT.

YOUR SPERM ACTUALLY
LIKED MELANIE'S
EGGS. UGH.

WELL, I GUESS
THERE'S NO AC-
COUNTING FOR SOME
PEOPLE'S TASTES.

[ Clearing
of throat ]

EASY, MIKEY.

I DON'T THINK
I CAN DO IT.
WHAT?

BE RESPONSIBLE
FOR ANOTHER LIFE.

DID I ASK
YOU TO?

NOT YOU, ASS-
HOLE. THE KID.

JOB'S DONE.

FROM HERE ON
OUT, THE LEZZIE'S
DO ALL THE WORK.

ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS SHOW UP FOR
BIRTHDAY PARTIES

AND THE OCCASIONAL
WALK IN THE PARK.

I DON'T INTEND
TO BE A DROP-IN
DAD LIKE YOU.

I WANT TO BE
INVOLVED,

A REAL FATHER...

IF I CAN JUST
FIGURE OUT HOW.

YOU'RE GOING TO
BE A GREAT DAD.

WHAT MAKES
YOU SO SURE?

YOU RAISED ME,
DIDN'T YOU?

LOOK HOW I
TURNED OUT.

Various:
[ Moaning ]

Man:
SUCK THAT COCK.

[♪♪♪ ]

Man:
[ Moaning ]
OH YEAH.

♪ HOLDING,
HOLDING ME DOWN ♪

♪ WOULD YOU RELEASE
YOURSELF ♪

♪ STEP INTO MY PARLOUR ♪

♪ I COULD EASE MYSELF ♪

♪ I WANT YOU ♪

♪ I WANT TO FEEL YOU
FROM THE INSIDE ♪

♪ MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE ♪

♪ MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE ♪

♪ MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE ♪

♪ MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE ♪

♪ I WANT YOU ♪

♪ I WANT TO FEEL
YOU FROM THE INSIDE ♪

♪ MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE ♪

♪ TO MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE ♪

♪ MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE ♪

♪ I WANT YOU ♪

♪ I WANT TO FEEL
YOU FROM THE INSIDE ♪

♪ TO MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE ♪

♪ I WANT YOU ♪

♪ I WANT TO FEEL
YOU FROM THE INSIDE ♪

♪ MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE ♪

♪ I WANT YOU ♪

♪ I WANT TO FEEL
YOU FROM THE INSIDE ♪

♪ I WANT YOU ♪

♪ I WANT TO FEEL
YOU FROM THE INSIDE ♪

♪ I WANT YOU ♪

♪ I WANT TO FEEL
YOU FROM THE INSIDE ♪

♪ I WANT TO FEEL YOU ♪

♪ FROM THE INSIDE ♪

♪ I WANT YOU ♪

♪ I WANT TO FEEL
YOU FROM THE INSIDE ♪

♪ I WANT YOU ♪

♪ I WANT TO FEEL
YOU FROM THE INSIDE ♪

♪ I WANT YOU ♪

♪ I WANT TO FEEL
YOU FROM THE INSIDE ♪

MOO!
♪ I WANT YOU ♪

♪ I WANT TO FEEL
YOU FROM THE INSIDE ♪

♪ I WANT YOU ♪

♪ OH-OH-OH ♪