Original subtitles

Gentlemen...

a toast to the Navy's best damn Airedale.

Happy birthday, Flash.

- Happy birthday, Flash. - Thanks, guys.

Ah. You ready for a private dance?

- Oh, my goodness. - No, I'm sorry.

- Oh, come on, let's have some fun. - Maybe later.

How much is this gonna set us back?

A hundred dollars for ten minutes.

See, that's a problem. I didn't go to the ATM.

All right, let's pony up. Shut up.

- A hundred and 20, tip included. - Guys.

- Really? - Yeah.

- You're all going to hell. - We are.

Happy birthday, buddy.

Flash. Flash. Flash.

- Flash. Flash. Flash. - So, what's your name?

Joshua.

And why do your friends call you Flash?

Because, um... Ahem.

Because my last name's Gordon.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm, uh, good.

Here you go, honey.

Okay. Heh.

You just...

sit back...

and relax.

You okay?

Hey.

Hey, wake up.

Yo, fellas.

Come get your guy, he's too drunk for dance.

What do you mean drunk?

I remember my first beer.

That's impossible, he didn't have anything to drink.

- Aah! - Hey, call 911.

- Oh, my God. - Lay him down.

Is he...

Is he breath... Is he breathing?

I can't feel a pulse.

Corpsman, help. Corpsman.

You looking for something?

- Not anymore. Found it. - What'd you lose this time?

Nothing. Just a op report from Santoso's condo.

- That was due last week. - Well... Hey.

"Vacation request submission, 2011." 2011? Wow, really?

If you built a time machine and didn't tell me about it, I am gonna be pissed.

Morning. What's up?

- Kensi seems to have lost something. - Shocking.

- I misplaced my W-2 form. - What, your wage statement?

You could request another one.

You know how long that takes? April 15 is next week.

You haven't filed your tax return?

- Oh, and I suppose you have? - Are you kidding me?

- You're such a geek. - Really? Sam, Callen?

- Met with my accountant in February. - You have an accountant?

Mortgage, charities, kids, itemized deductions. It gets complicated.

I did mine last week. No dependents.

The EZ form takes, what, two minutes.

And just for the record, I e-filed mine on January 31st

and just got myself a handsome refund of $1,900.

- How'd you pull that off? - Schedule D. Expenses as a detective.

Deeks, you're an employee.

Only independent contractors can claim work-related expenses.

Yeah, tell that to my chequing account.

You can get me a refund?

Pfft. You kidding me? Piece of cake, just give me your social.

- I wouldn't. - Definitely not.

Come on. If you can't trust your...

Leftover from April Fool's.

Lieutenant Joshua Gordon,

pilot for the Carrier Airborne Early Warning Squadron out of Point Mugu.

His birthday celebration took a fatal turn

in the VIP lounge of a bikini bar in Oxnard.

Mm, I can think of worse ways to go.

- What? - Cocaine causes seizures.

Close. Also starts with a C, ends with an E. Anyone? Anyone?

Ding, time's up. We were looking for cyanide.

- Cyanide. - Someone poisoned him?

Poisoned them. We also have a dead dancer, and...

Flight Officer Randall Baker

should be released from the hospital today.

The poisoning victims weren't drinking any alcohol,

they were only drinking water.

Ah, the dangers of abstinence.

- How much cyanide did they ingest? - Not much.

A quarter teaspoon is deadly within minutes.

How did the cyanide get in the water?

Isn't that just the $64,000 question?

Mr. Beale?

Jihadist groups are taking credit for the attack on the internet.

"Those who poisoned our land with war

shall be poisoned on their own soil.

More attacks to come.”

- Pull up everything on local cells. - No.

This message is full of spelling errors, bad grammar.

I doubt if this is the work of an Arabic speaker.

Someone could be pointing a finger, trying to deflect the blame.

Okay, well, where does one get cyanide?

Lethalpoisons.com.

Let's track down potential sources in the area.

We'll take the bikini bar.

- What? We will? - I don't like to see him beg.

Plus, he would mope all the way to Point Mugu if we didn't.

This is fantastic, but I don't beg.

- Oh, you beg. - I definitely don't mope.

Because you're the moper. You're, like, Mopey Dick.

Feel free to take the pole for a spin.

Oh, touché.

I'm, uh, seeing the bar. Not a lot of bikinis.

We interviewed the girls, sent them home.

You sent the girls home? That's good. Nice, nice work.

We traced the cyanide to this water cooler.

- You sure about that? - Verified by Hazmat.

Tap water was pure.

Here...

we have a positive Prussian blue test.

Shouldn't we be wearing masks?

Oh, no, no, no, that's... Hydrogen cyanide is a gas.

This is potassium cyanide, it's a salt that dissolves in water.

Got no evidence of tampering.

Who changed the bottle?

Janitor by the name of Zaki Faheem.

He could've put the cyanide in when he took off the cap.

Doesn't look like he did.

Take a look.

New water bottle at 2235.

Three poisonings at 2247.

Found the cap in the trash with a pinhole in it.

Looks like someone injected poison in advance.

What do we know about the janitor?

No hits on the DHS terrorist database.

Has anybody talked to Faheem?

Not at home, cell phone's off. We've got a BOLO out.

What about friends, relatives in the area?

Checking right now.

How many cameras you got in the Champagne Room?

Three.

We're gonna have to review last night's footage.

What? That is a legitimate request.

You'd watch the tapes, right?

Well, yeah, definitely.

Definitely. We can watch them together.

- Ew! - What? Now who's moping?

I'm not moping. You're just creeping me out.

What are you talk...? I'm trying to keep America safe here.

I'm catching bad guys.

Uh, I remember Crawford starting CPR on Flash,

and then I woke up in the hospital, sir.

I understand that last night at the bar you were drinking water?

I'm not one for alcohol.

- And Lieutenant Gordon? - Water as well, sir.

I only had a few sips,

but he came from the gym and downed pretty quickly.

Within the squadron, Lieutenant Gordon have any conflicts?

Oh, no, sir.

Everyone had tremendous respect for the man.

- He never got in any arguments? - It wasn't in his nature.

Um, I only ever heard him raise his voice once.

- When was that? - About a year ago.

To counsel an under-performing aviation machinist mate.

- You got a name? - Fryman.

But, uh, he's no longer in the service.

He didn't get along with anyone.

He received an other-than-honorable discharge.

It's a, uh, side effect from the lack of oxygen to the brain.

It should get better in time.

So, what are we doing down here?

When I drank beer in high school, where would I leave the bottles?

- Not in your garbage can. - And not in the can next door.

At least three houses down. Hence, the long walk from the bikini bar.

- Wait for it. Unh. Aah! - You can't... Deeks...

- That can't be safe. - Don't worry.

If I get my clothes dirty at work, I consider them a uniform. Deductible.

See, the secret is to write off anything that vaguely relates to work,

so say for instance I were to rent a heist movie,

I would consider that professional research.

- If I were to... - Go to jail for tax fraud?

- Undercover assignment. - Ha, ha.

If you smell like garbage, you're taking the train home.

Bam. See what that is?

That's probably gonna be the murder weapon.

Oh, wow, this place is a treasure trove of good stuff.

Think that's gonna fit?

I know how much you love leopard print.

Yeah, how's it going, Kens?

Found a syringe. Might test positive for cyanide.

Nice. We just sent you an address for Zaki Faheem's cousin.

- Zaki's car was parked out front. - We'll check it out.

Good news is the bad guys only had a small amount of poison.

Au contraire, mon frére.

There is a 200-pound drum of potassium cyanide

missing from a silver plating factory in Tujunga.

- Two hundred pounds? - Do the math.

That's enough to send 800,000 souls to heaven.

So this was just the test.

Big one is yet to come.

All right, here we go. Here's one for you.

X plus five times X minus two.

You sure we got the right Fryman?

- Doesn't look like a troublemaker. - X squared plus three X minus 10.

Awesome, Alex. Way to go.

Wanna show me how you foiled the problem?

God, I love algebra.

It's logical, it's clean.

That's right, you used to be a mathlete.

No, I wasn't a mathlete, I was a Junior Math Olympian.

- It's big difference. - Uh-huh.

You guys weren't allowed to count on your fingers?

Ready, everybody? Bring it in. Winners never quit.

- And break. - Yeah!

- Dominic Fryman? - Uh, Dom.

Agents Callen, Hanna. NCIS.

- Uh, Dad, you coming? - Uh, yeah.

I'll, uh, meet you right there.

Just hit some ground balls and I'll be there in a little bit.

- How can I help you guys? - You heard about Lieutenant Gordon?

Yeah. That's, uh... That's very sad news.

You ever make it up to Oxnard?

It was parent-teacher night.

- We heard you two didn't get along. - I didn't get along with the navy.

I was deployed at sea, I was away from my son for months.

It's a calling.

My son was my calling.

I wanted to be a real dad.

Can you think of anybody who might want to harm Lieutenant Gordon?

You know, funny thing about Gordon is no wife, no girlfriend, never dated.

A few of us wondered if he was gay.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell was repealed in 2010.

He could have been open.

Seems like the guy had a lot of secrets.

Ah. This is just far too complex.

I'll just use the EZ form.

It's like burning your pay check.

Well, maybe I wanna do my part to pay down the federal deficit.

Sodol. We should have a bake sale.

I mean, I make a mean snickerdoodle.

Eric, the janitor's exiting his cousin's house.

Mr. Faheem?

- Federal agents. - Sir.

No. I got the back. Cover the street.

No, no, don't.

Really?

Down. Down.

Deeks?

Faheem is down. Where are you?

What happened?

- Ah, I was attacked by a hellhound. - You shot a dog?

I didn't shoot him. Just a warning shot,

but his pointy little ears are gonna be ringing for a few hours.

- And this? - What, this? Oh.

He just, uh, stole my shoe and ripped my pantaloons.

Don't worry. That's deductible. Up.

As is the Band-Aids, antibiotic cream, deductible.

- Tetanus shot, deductible. - Heh.

The two-hour Swedish massage

because of my sore muscles, deductible.

So if you're innocent, why'd you run?

I thought you were going to hurt me.

I have been the victim of hate crimes, twice.

We said we were federal agents.

- Does he look like a federal agent? - He's got a point there.

Besides, in my country, the police are not so friendly.

You called in sick today. You look pretty healthy to me.

I heard about the man who died.

They will blame me.

The bouncers, they are not so enlightened.

I was afraid of, uh,

how do you say, uh, vigilante justice?

You sound like a pretty smart guy.

I have a degree in Comparative Literature.

- And you're working at a strip club? - I got to pay the bills.

Two of the girls who dance there are working on graduate degrees.

- God bless America. - Look, I don't like this job.

I don't tell my family about it.

- You didn't tamper with water? - No.

You didn't help anyone else gain access to the water jug?

- Absolutely not. - We're gonna comb every text,

every e-mail, everything.

If we find any link to terrorism,

you'll spend your life behind bars.

- You understand that? - I understand.

Did any customers seem odd to you? Suspicious?

Only about 90 percent of them.

But there was this new guy with a beer belly.

He came two nights in a row with a lot of questions.

Wanted to know if there were any job openings.

You think you can ID him off a security tape?

I can try.

You go through a lot of cyanide?

It's the standard solvent for gold and silver plating.

Last week we signed for five barrels, and now there's only four.

So how does a 200-pound barrel just walk away?

Good question.

Who has access to this elevator?

Security opens for deliveries and spent material pickup.

We're combing through the surveillance footage now.

Is the powder loose inside?

No. It's sealed in heavy plastic in case the barrel gets damaged.

- It... It shouldn't be like that. - I brought the kit.

That's negative for cyanide.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

- It's ordinary table salt. - They probably all are.

I've got two more containers that are unsealed.

Why take just one barrel?

Maybe someone interrupted them when they were switching them out.

That's a thousand pounds of cyanide.

That's enough to kill 4 million people.

- Status of the bikini bar? - No fingerprints on the syringe.

The water jug storage area is off-camera and hidden in an alcove.

What about Zaki Faheem's electronic footprint?

Clean. Hasn't even looked at a porn site in three years.

Wait, you can tell that sort of thing?

- I'm just kidding. - Gordon's sexual orientation?

He was practicing celibacy as part of a Buddhist sect.

Who would wanna kill a peace-loving Buddhist?

A Hindu from Sri Lanka. Emperor of China.

Bengal tiger. Am I the only person coming up with ideas?

The factory's security cameras gave us nothing.

No one was seen tampering with the barrels.

The next step is to trace the delivery chain

from the cyanide factory to the plating plant.

Something happened along the way.

Mr. Beale, would you turn on the news channel?

San Fernando Valley, where a freak series of heart attacks

has kept paramedics on their toes in this Chatsworth neighborhood.

The 911 calls came within five minutes of each other

from three different homes.

- Cyanide? - The heart is the first to go.

They could use the same bottled water service.

Well, let's hope so.

Because if that's not the case, it's in the city's drinking water.

Cyanide was confirmed as the cause of death in all three cases.

Only one house on the block was getting bottled water delivery.

Metropolitan Water District has sensors throughout the system

that can detect contaminants.

- They didn't work last night. - They're not on every block.

This was a local attack.

No other casualties means the cyanide diluted in the system quickly.

You can't go public with a do not drink order.

You'll have hospital gridlock from everybody with a...

headache, stomach pain, dizziness.

Hoarding of bottled water. Fights at grocery stores.

- Widespread panic. - That could be the terrorist's goal.

Eric, pull up any information on recent rentals

or vacant houses in the neighborhood.

We'll work on the cyanide delivery.

Kensi, Deeks, check the water supply in the Chatsworth neighborhood.

Excuse me.

Ms. Blye will stay above,

and Mr. Deeks will go below.

What's this?

- Wastewater engineer? - Sewer worker?

But no, like, open trenches, right?

Like that crazy scene from Les Mis?

Au revoir, Monsieur Deeks.

- Oh. Mon due. - Mon die...

Mon die...

Hello, I'm Kelsey Blake, Water Ambassador with the utility district.

Hello there. How would you like to cut your water bill by 50 percent?

We're giving away complimentary low flow showerheads

with free installation today.

All I have to do is inspect your faucets and plumbing,

and I can offer you even more money-saving tips.

Sounds good to me.

How's it going up there?

Nothing toxic but a moldy shower curtain. How about you?

Everything's shipshape, but I keep hearing footsteps.

Either there's a really large rat or Javert is closing in.

Hey, Eugene. I'm all done.

Would you like a cup of tea?

I would love a cup of tea, but I have so much work to do. Thank you.

- Did you go next door? - No, not yet.

- You probably shouldn't. - Why not?

They, uh, shoot movies there.

Stag films.

- The pornos. - No, I got it.

I have even seen little people.

You know, dwarves.

And that can't be good.

One of the victims in the Chatsworth poisoning

was a retired Marine Corps general

who hadn't seen action since Desert Storm in '91.

That's a long time to hold a grudge.

Any of the others have connections to the military?

No. It doesn't look like they were targeting military personnel.

Whoa. Text from the field.

Kensi just stumbled upon an adult film shoot.

Oh. Makes sense. Chatsworth is the epicentre of that industry.

What?

I had to research it once for a case. It was before you were here.

So we had a hit at a strip club and a porn set.

Well, if the Arabic threats turn out to be a hoax,

we could be dealing with home-grown terrorists.

Who don't like when people take their clothes off?

There are fundamentalist groups who oppose indecency.

Eric, see if any of them have a history of violence.

No problem. Oh.

I just got a hit on a vacant house less than a block from the poisonings.

- Let them know. - Got it.

Hello?

Is anybody home?

Is today the open house? Hello?

Deeks, get up here.

What'd you find?

Possible lead on our baddies.

There's a group called Designing a New America. DNA.

They want the death penalty for violent felons,

drug dealers and child molesters.

"In order to create an ideal society that's safe for children.”

Wonder how they feel about strippers.

They believe that for America to be great again,

we need to clean up our streets,

- pour lots of money into education. - It's a reasonable request.

Their website has a list of upcoming protests at federal buildings,

- political speeches, military funerals. - Why military funerals?

Because they want defense spending redirected to education.

Let Sam know. Have him call my cell phone.

Well, it's not your typical instant hot water rig.

Looks like at least a five-gallon reservoir.

It's obviously some sort of industrial pump.

Yeah, well, if the pump can generate more pressure

than the outflow of the faucet.

Then they could pump anything they want back into the water supply.

There's another blue light special.

Then that's our cyanide.

No more war, no more war, no more war.

No more war, no more war. Books, not bombs.

Books, not bombs. Books, not bombs. Books, not bombs.

- Books not bombs. - No more war.

No more war, no more war.

Hey. Knock it off.

Knock it off. I said, knock it off.

Show some respect for a fallen warrior.

His death was unnecessary.

He is a victim of corporate profits by the military industrial complex.

Look, his parents will be driving here soon. Come on, man.

Can't we have this debate another time?

How do you justify spending 1.5 trillion on unwinnable wars, huh?

- Securing America's future. - America's future's in the toilet.

Our kids can't read and write.

We rank 25th in education

when we spend 700 billion a year on defense

- and only 19 billion on our schools. - Look, look,

I'm gonna need you to leave now.

Really? You never heard of a little something called freedom of speech?

Didn't they teach you that at West Point?

It's a Navy uniform. And get out of my face.

- Get out of my face, pal. - Look, you don't want to do this.

The voice of the people will not be silenced.

- I can sure shut you up. - Why don't you try?

Take this fool away. He provoked and attacked me.

He started it. I have witnesses.

- Save it for the cops. - Yeah.

- You okay? - Just a few scrapes.

What'd the police say?

What's it to you?

I was impressed by your conviction.

But not enough to get involved.

There are other ways to make your point.

It's called a hand grenade.

Wanna get these guys' attention, give them a taste of their own medicine.

I'm Lawrence.

Gary.

It's one of the protestors, Eric. Run him through facial rec.

As we speak.

I have a lot of friends who share your views.

Want to go meet some of them?

- What, right now? - Unless you got someplace else to be.

Okay, the Good Samaritan is Lawrence De Vries.

Card-carrying member of DNA, Designing a New America.

Looks like Callen's their first round draft pick.

- What the hell is this? - It's until we know you can be trusted.

Yeah, no, thanks, pal.

So you didn't mean what you said?

Talk is cheap.

We're trying to make a difference,

and we have the resources and conviction to do so.

Do you?

I'm gonna hang back, Eric. Keep tracking.

Okay, we're on it.

Whoa, check this out.

Two days ago Kensi and Deeks' Chatsworth cyanide house

had a plumber visit.

Equipment went in and never came out.

And the van was from a rental yard.

All right. I'll text them the address.

Paul, to the front desk.

Paul, to the front desk.

How you doing?

- Uh, a little help? - Watch the car.

Deep ball, center field.

Oh, Mays on the warning track. It's going, it's going. Ooh!

Mays makes the catch, Giants win the pennant.

Who's Mays?

Who's Mays? Heh. Just a kid I went to middle school with.

- Does your dad work here? - No, my uncle.

- How you doing? Nice catch. - Thanks.

What do you folks need?

Federal agents. We need to check on a rental from a few days ago.

- Sure. - This your, uh, plumber's van?

- We don't rent plumber's vans. - License plate says you do.

We have cargo vans. Must have slapped a mag sign on it.

- You got a contract handy? - Yeah, give me a minute.

Hey, you know, it might've been a Mexican guy.

Yeah. Here you go.

- Got a copy of the driver's license? - Second page.

Zack Perez.

A.k.a. Zaki Faheem, the janitor.

Is he in trouble?

You can take off your mask.

This is your secret clubhouse, huh?

You know, when I was a kid we had a clubhouse in the woods.

Come home from school,

go play with friends until it was time for dinner.

Now everything's a supervised play date.

Kids can't be kids.

And who can blame the parents,

not with all the molesters and abductors and predators out there.

Mm-hm. It's a different world.

Bad guys used to be in prisons and psychiatric hospitals.

Now they're on the streets.

Max, Gary. Gary, Max.

How you doing?

Heavy fire power.

Until they decide to take away our Second Amendment rights.

Make yourself at home.

I'll ring the bell, you cover the back.

I know that bark.

Dogs can sense fear. I thought you were a dog whisperer.

Uh-huh. He's calm, yeah. You hear that? That is a mocking bark.

I think you're suffering from post-dogmatic stress.

- Oh, itis on. It is on. - Hang on.

- What? What do you got? - Go, Nell.

You guys can get in the car and come on home.

Why, is Faheem is custody?

No, he doesn't even have a real driver's license.

But we saw his fake one.

Yeah, we're not entirely sure he's responsible for that.

We found traific cam footage

of the plumber's van in Chatsworth on the day.

Sending it to you now.

Our construction rental guy.

Is now our evil construction rental guy.

Call Sam. We're heading to the rental yard.

All right, we're on it.

Yeah?

What's the plan?

Special Agent Callen.

This is, uh, awkward.

This place is gonna be crawling with federal agents in minutes.

We'll be long gone.

And so will you.

We know about the cyanide.

And after 1:00 a.m., the whole world will know about the cyanide.

And the city will be a better place for it.

Because I care about our future.

I want our children to be educated.

To be the best in the world.

How do we keep our kids safe and secure

when the streets are filled with felons, drug pushers...

and sexual deviants?

That's your plan? Mass murder?

Only because the government failed us, right?

When your car's dirty, you wash it.

When your pipes are clogged, you snake out the crud,

and you flush away the filth.

That's how we're gonna make America great again.

Getting rid of criminals in downtown Los Angeles

is not gonna clean up all of America.

It's a call to action, and many will follow.

It's a criminal act that's gonna get you the death penalty.

I'm not really all that concerned about death, Agent Callen.

But perhaps you should be. So we can either, uh,

shoot you...

or you can drink the cyanide.

This is a much cleaner way to go.

Is this the kind of example you wanna set for your son?

My son knows that I'm trying to make the world a better place for him.

Once I drink this, you're not gonna see him again.

It's hard to be a good dad when you're behind bars or dead.

Let's agree to disagree.

You know you're not getting away with this, Fryman.

It should be right there on your left.

I'm not seeing him.

- Are you sure about this, Eric? - I'm positive.

And Kensi and Deeks are on their way back to you.

Looks like it's closed.

- You're within ten feet of Callen's cell. - It hasn't moved in the last half hour.

- Got his phone. - Any sign of Callen?

They ditched his phone in the trash.

- Man, this place is huge. - There's no way to tell

whether he's still here or they moved him.

Well, before the trash can

his cell signal was coming from what appears to be a warehouse.

Uh, 50 yards to the south.

Okay, you two clear these two buildings, I'll clear the warehouse.

What the hell took you so long?

You used the hydroxo-C?

Worked like a charm.

Ops is monitoring all water sensors and access points

to underground utilities.

DWP is ready to cut off the water supply at a moment's notice.

We've got law enforcement and Kaleidoscope looking for them.

Eventually, they're gonna show themselves.

Callen, you sure you don't wanna guide us from Ops?

- I'm fine. - Yeah?

Because a couple hours ago, you could barely move.

- You wanna arm wrestle? - Fair enough.

Okay, so I think we've got something.

I figure whatever they're gonna do,

it's gonna be big and require access to the city's water supply,

so I started looking into recent repair work.

Yesterday, there were pothole repairs on Hill Street.

Your tax dollars at work.

They were working adjacent to the city's water main access point,

but the city has no record of any authorized work for that area.

If they mocked up a couple of trucks, set up some barriers...

They could have easily snuck in the cyanide. Let's do this.

I'm in position. Exit is covered.

Copy that, Sam. We're in.

Federal agents. Drop your weapon.

Agent Callen?

- I'm back from the dead. - Yeah, not for long.

You're outnumbered.

It's your last chance, Fryman.

You give yourself up, you walk out of here alive.

That's not ever, ever gonna happen.

He's down.

Took his own cyanide.

- Should we call 9117? - Sam has the antidote, call him.

- It's almost 1:00. - We gotta find that cyanide.

- Got something. - Don't come any closer.

Alex.

- Do you have a gun? - Did you kill my dad?

No. He's on his way to the ER,

then he's going to jail.

It's over, Alex.

At 1:00 a.m., I'm pulling the valve.

I promised to do it right.

You'll hurt a lot of innocent people, Alex.

You don't wanna do that, do you?

- Alex? - Kids can't walk to school alone.

And when they get there, they're not even safe in the classroom.

We need to fix America.

Not like this.

Drastic problems require drastic solutions.

So you're gonna poison the whole city?

Just the bad people.

The good ones are home asleep.

You know who's awake right now, Alex?

Cops and fireman.

And doctors and nurses.

People that work at office buildings sweeping and taking out trash.

You remember when your dad was away at sea?

He was fighting an unjust war.

You pull that lever,

tomorrow morning, hundreds of kids

are gonna wake up

and they're gonna have moms and dads that are never coming back.

Is that what you want?

You're smart.

You're a good guy.

And you're gonna make this world a better place, but not like this.

Do the right thing, Alex.

- What's gonna happen to me? - We're gonna work it out.

Come on.

Uh, excuse me.

Sorry. I just could not stand it anymore.

So you invade my personal space?

No, I didn't invade your personal space.

Just cleaning and organizing.

And you'll be happy to know that I found your W-2.

Oh, my God. Oh, thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Ha, ha!

Have you seen G?

Uh, he had to get a blood test.

Martin A. Deeks?

Heh. Yeah, Marty Deeks. Who are you?

- You've been served. - What?

What the hell? How'd you even get in here?

I'm a federal employee with a high level security clearance.

- You work for Granger? - No. The IRS.

Mr. Deeks, federal law allows us to examine

the past seven years of your tax returns.

Your illegal deductions, with interest and penalties,

could cost you over a hundred thousand dollars.

A hundred thousand dollars?

I suggest you bring your accountant to your formal audit hearing

- which is scheduled for April 21st. - No, no. No, no.

You, uh, actually screwed up the date on this form,

which means it's probably invalid.

If you look right there, because this says April 1st on it, not April 21st.

- So this is... - No, that's right. It's April Fool's.

- Look at his face. - You rat bastards.

Don't look at us, it wasn't our idea.

- Hetty? - Ha-ha-ha!

Heh-heh. Oh, man.

She even pulled Morgan out of retirement.

- Ah, sorry. - Morgan.

That was a great party.

- I loved your cake. - Thanks.

Morning, Alex.

Didn't think you'd come.

I said I would.

Got a ball?

Let's toss it.

- What did you have for breakfast? - Pancakes.

Lucky. Pancakes?

Sheesh.

How'd you sleep last night?

Okay, I guess.

If you sleep well the first night, it means you're in a good place.

How do you know?

I just do.