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1
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Come on.
2
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You guys are so dramatic.
3
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I heard you were sneaking around our gate.
4
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Trying to find a way out, eh?
5
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Cute.
6
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Grab a seat.
7
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I insist.
8
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Okay.
9
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You know,
10
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this gun was handcrafted
11
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in 1862 during the American Civil War,
12
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designed specifically for dueling,
13
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when things get up close and personal,
14
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when you're at war with your neighbor.
15
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Hmm, the bullets are tiny. Don't do shit.
16
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I could say the same about you.
17
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And I'm surprised you'd leave us.
18
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I thought for sure you'd want to watch
19
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your friends in the final round.
20
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Those losers aren't my friends.
21
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Fuck them, and fuck you, you weirdo.
22
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I just want to get out of here.
23
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You are delightful.
24
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And I would wish you bon voyage,
25
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but you got a peek at something you shouldn't have.
26
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I didn't see anything.
27
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Good. There was nothing to see.
28
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Maybe that's why I didn't see it.
29
00:01:38,170 --> 00:01:39,820
- See what? - Exactly.
30
00:01:43,820 --> 00:01:45,170
Oh, and if it's all the same,
31
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I'd like to have you as my guest for the final round.
32
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Just to be safe.
33
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It'd be my fucking pleasure.
34
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Wunderbar.
35
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Rise and shine.
36
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The final round of the tournament is here.
37
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in honor of your last morning as my guests,
38
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I've arranged a special treat.
39
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Who loves breakfast?
40
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All righty.
41
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Let's do bacon and cheddar on the first one.
42
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On the second one, let's go a little more intercontinental.
43
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Let's do mushies, feta, oh, and is that pesto?
44
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Oh, yeah, let's do that.
45
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,410
- And for you? - Cheese.
46
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Not so much to say
47
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now that all your little buddies are gone, huh?
48
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I can make new buddies.
49
00:02:36,860 --> 00:02:39,410
But you only had one, and now it's gone.
50
00:02:41,890 --> 00:02:44,030
Harold would want me to kill you,
51
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and I will in his honor.
52
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God, you're a fool.
53
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You've had it in for me
54
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ever since I came to Blackfield.
55
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Blackfield was my asylum.
56
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I was the most popular murderer.
57
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And then you show up
58
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like king shit of fuck mountain.
59
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Nobody steals my spotlight.
60
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Oh, I'm going to be stealing a lot more than that
61
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when this is all said and done.
62
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It's gonna be a pleasure to finally put you in the ground.
63
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,990
Yeah, I bet you think you're going to suck me inside of you.
64
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And I'm telling you right now, it ain't happening.
65
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I don't want you inside of me. I want you dead!
66
00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:20,650
- Your omelet, sir.
67
00:03:20,650 --> 00:03:22,680
Ooh, is that a salsa bar?
68
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Me llamo hungry. Olé!
69
00:03:38,310 --> 00:03:40,060
Are people aware of how much better
70
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sex in a bed is?
71
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,610
We--Should we tell them?
72
00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:46,030
All I know is you couldn't hit that angle in Roadkill.
73
00:03:50,750 --> 00:03:52,680
Oh, man.
74
00:03:59,580 --> 00:04:01,000
Hey, where are you going?
75
00:04:02,650 --> 00:04:04,550
Come back. For all we know,
76
00:04:04,550 --> 00:04:06,340
the tournament could start tomorrow.
77
00:04:06,340 --> 00:04:07,890
You should try and relax.
78
00:04:07,890 --> 00:04:10,000
I just need to be ready.
79
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,960
I feel like I'm standing at the edge of a cliff.
80
00:04:14,370 --> 00:04:16,680
Yeah, my stomach is all twisted too.
81
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,680
Look, if you're worried we're not going to win--
82
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,060
It's not that.
83
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,370
I'm worried what it'll take to win.
84
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,890
We knew Calypso wasn't going to make it easy on us.
85
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That's what makes your wish--
86
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Our wish worth it.
87
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,200
But if we both make it through this--
88
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,510
John, if we both make it,
89
00:04:43,340 --> 00:04:46,820
that means we each got to get through Raven
90
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,510
and Sweet Tooth and Grimm.
91
00:04:48,890 --> 00:04:51,100
- I know it sounds impossible. - That's putting it lightly.
92
00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:54,170
- The odds are against us. - Fuck the odds.
93
00:04:54,930 --> 00:04:57,860
We keep fighting until we don't have to anymore.
94
00:05:00,060 --> 00:05:01,750
That's all we can do.
95
00:05:02,410 --> 00:05:04,510
All right?
96
00:05:04,510 --> 00:05:05,620
We keep fighting.
97
00:05:07,550 --> 00:05:10,750
Hmm, I notice you didn't mention Mike or Stu.
98
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,890
Oh, yeah. Maybe we can win.
99
00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:40,620
We're almost at the finish line.
100
00:05:57,270 --> 00:05:58,960
This is it.
101
00:05:59,580 --> 00:06:01,200
It's all I got left of Dave.
102
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:10,340
He was simple,
103
00:06:10,340 --> 00:06:13,510
but also complex, you know?
104
00:06:14,860 --> 00:06:17,820
Anyway, may his soul rest as he lived,
105
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chill as hell.
106
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:26,030
- Are you sure? - Yes.
107
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It's the only way
108
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:29,620
You do it.
109
00:06:30,060 --> 00:06:31,580
I'm not strong enough.
110
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:37,720
It's done now.
111
00:06:49,860 --> 00:06:52,720
I know Dave was an eater of man.
112
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He probably would have eaten my ass, too.
113
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When I was alone out there, man, he--
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he had my back.
115
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I should have come back for you.
116
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I was a coward.
117
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:10,060
My best friend was probably murdered,
118
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and I just sat there and let it happen.
119
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Never again, dude.
120
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:19,820
I'd fucking die for you, Mike.
121
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I won't lose you again.
122
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We ain't dying today.
123
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We're gonna go get that wish.
124
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Hell yeah we are.
125
00:07:30,930 --> 00:07:32,200
- Fuck you! - Bring it here, man.
126
00:07:35,790 --> 00:07:37,240
- Sorry. - It's okay.
127
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,060
- I love you, bro. - I love you too.
128
00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:41,200
We need to let May down easy.
129
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,750
She assumes she's coming with us.
130
00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:44,750
Right. That's why I'm saying if you break it to her easy,
131
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she might be more chill.
132
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,750
Okay. She won't, but you'll listen to you.
133
00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:50,130
- She looks up to you. - Yes, I know.
134
00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:51,440
That's because I'm the cool friend.
135
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,270
You're more of, like, an authority figure,
136
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like a dad.
137
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,270
I do not give off dad vibes.
138
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Says the man who grunts when he stands up.
139
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,480
Oh, my back, my back.
140
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,480
Okay, all right, Rochambeau for it. Ready?
141
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:09,440
What the hell is that?
142
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:10,650
It's a gun.
143
00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:12,650
Gun beats tire. Tire beats road.
144
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,170
No, that's not how you play.
145
00:08:15,510 --> 00:08:19,030
Also, rock crushes gun. I win!
146
00:08:19,370 --> 00:08:21,130
Damn it, I never thought about a rock.
147
00:08:25,510 --> 00:08:26,820
Mayhem?
148
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Where the hell is she?
149
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- Hey!
150
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Stu?
151
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I'm okay. I'm fine.
152
00:08:53,270 --> 00:08:54,820
Thanks for the hand, dude.
153
00:08:57,030 --> 00:08:59,610
So, does anybody else have a bag on their head?
154
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Drivers!
155
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,790
Reveal yourselves!
156
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:25,720
Welcome to the final round!
157
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My friends,
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insiders and outsiders alike,
159
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you have watched these six drivers compete
160
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round after round,
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destroying anyone and everyone
162
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who stands in their way.
163
00:09:50,930 --> 00:09:54,270
- Wait!
164
00:09:54,270 --> 00:09:56,300
They've been watching us the entire time?
165
00:09:56,310 --> 00:09:59,610
Come on, Stubert, Let's scoot out of here-aah!
166
00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:02,270
Listen to them! They love me!
167
00:10:02,270 --> 00:10:03,610
Yes!
168
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Fuckin' sheep.
169
00:10:08,270 --> 00:10:10,960
I've never seen this many people in one place before.
170
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,990
I know. It's so many.
171
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,030
And half of them hate us.
172
00:10:16,030 --> 00:10:17,240
Oh, shit. There's Mayhem.
173
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She's got good seats.
174
00:10:18,930 --> 00:10:20,440
You think she's okay?
175
00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:23,680
Hmm, she seems fine.
176
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:24,990
It's better up there with him
177
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,130
than she would be down here with us.
178
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Today, insiders and outsiders
179
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join each other in celebration.
180
00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:40,410
And is there a day more appropriate for unity
181
00:10:40,410 --> 00:10:42,170
than Christmas?
182
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,650
This time of year was always about hope.
183
00:10:47,650 --> 00:10:50,480
And my drivers have shown you
184
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,550
that if you work hard enough
185
00:10:53,030 --> 00:10:55,440
and pull yourself up by your hubcaps,
186
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you too can achieve miracles.
187
00:10:58,410 --> 00:11:01,820
You can have your greatest wish granted.
188
00:11:01,820 --> 00:11:03,680
I think I'm missing something here, Stu.
189
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:05,820
What's with all the wish talk?
190
00:11:05,820 --> 00:11:07,580
It's the entire reason we're here.
191
00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:08,790
First I'm hearing of it.
192
00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:10,890
Dude, we talked about the wish
193
00:11:10,890 --> 00:11:12,200
in the weird well room place.
194
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,370
You wanted to keep the coin.
195
00:11:13,370 --> 00:11:14,550
I thought he was joshing.
196
00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:16,480
Joshing? Why would he be joshing?
197
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:18,790
I don't know, I mean, he seems like a josher,
198
00:11:18,790 --> 00:11:20,370
you know, sneaky, the kind of guy
199
00:11:20,370 --> 00:11:21,820
who'd make you throw away a perfectly good coin
200
00:11:21,820 --> 00:11:23,370
in some dirty water
201
00:11:23,370 --> 00:11:24,510
and then laugh about it with his friends afterwards.
202
00:11:24,510 --> 00:11:26,170
I'm no asshole, Stu.
203
00:11:26,170 --> 00:11:27,550
But you are a moron.
204
00:11:27,550 --> 00:11:30,990
I wish for all the walls to come down.
205
00:11:36,370 --> 00:11:37,860
Fuck the outsiders!
206
00:11:39,510 --> 00:11:41,550
Get outta here!
207
00:11:41,550 --> 00:11:43,790
To win your wish,
208
00:11:44,310 --> 00:11:48,170
you simply must be the last contestant driving.
209
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:53,170
This day shall henceforth be known
210
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as a new holiday,
211
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the day of Twisted Metal.
212
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:13,480
Drivers, on your marks.
213
00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:17,410
- How's your leg? - Not good.
214
00:12:17,410 --> 00:12:18,620
Fuck.
215
00:12:38,060 --> 00:12:41,610
Hey, hey, Stu! What are you doing?
216
00:12:41,620 --> 00:12:43,930
- Sorry, force of habit. - Get in!
217
00:12:56,410 --> 00:12:57,860
Which one of you motherfuckers is first?
218
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,790
Whoo! This is feeling right, baby!
219
00:13:02,130 --> 00:13:03,510
- Aah!
220
00:13:03,510 --> 00:13:06,300
- Shit!
221
00:13:06,310 --> 00:13:07,480
Dude, are you good?
222
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:09,130
Look, I can't do it, man. You're gonna have to drive too.
223
00:13:09,130 --> 00:13:10,550
With what? Calypso kabobbed my thigh!
224
00:13:10,930 --> 00:13:12,480
You're gonna have to steer with me.
225
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,130
- I'll take the pedals. - Are you fucking kidding me?
226
00:13:17,170 --> 00:13:18,340
Shit!
227
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:19,610
Farewell, my son.
228
00:13:19,620 --> 00:13:20,990
Brake left! Brake left!
229
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:26,310
Fuck! Aah!
230
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:28,480
Turn, same time.
231
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,820
- Yeah! Yeah!
232
00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,370
- There we go! - There we go!
233
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:38,310
That's it, Stu! That's my guy, Stu!
234
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:42,130
Later, dicks.
235
00:13:42,130 --> 00:13:43,480
All right, put on the speed a bit!
236
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,170
- Whoa!
237
00:13:45,170 --> 00:13:46,440
Oh, shit, is that John?
238
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,480
Yeah. Somebody's gotta win, right?
239
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,610
- Yeah! - Here comes Hammerhead!
240
00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:54,030
You're not my guy, Stu! Fuck you!
241
00:13:54,030 --> 00:13:56,750
Hey, it looks like Mike and Stu aren't playing around.
242
00:13:57,060 --> 00:13:59,170
I might be in trouble out here.
243
00:13:59,550 --> 00:14:00,860
John, I'd love to save your ass,
244
00:14:00,860 --> 00:14:02,510
but I got a clown crawling up mine.
245
00:14:05,410 --> 00:14:08,000
Oh, looks like your friends are already on the ropes.
246
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:09,440
I don't have any friends.
247
00:14:10,620 --> 00:14:11,750
Interesting.
248
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:15,100
And here I thought these two were making you soft.
249
00:14:15,410 --> 00:14:18,680
I've always said that family, friends,
250
00:14:19,030 --> 00:14:20,370
they make you weak.
251
00:14:20,750 --> 00:14:22,610
Strength...
252
00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:24,130
...comes from standing on your own.
253
00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:29,130
I see that strength in you.
254
00:14:31,310 --> 00:14:33,820
Can I interest you in some elk cheese?
255
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,100
It's delightfully gamy.
256
00:15:01,170 --> 00:15:02,750
I always liked you, Quiet.
257
00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:03,960
Gosh, not too long ago,
258
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,130
you were a little fishy in my tank.
259
00:15:06,130 --> 00:15:07,270
I'm glad you got out,
260
00:15:07,270 --> 00:15:09,720
'cause chasing you down is way more fun.
261
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,890
How is he so goddamn fast?
262
00:15:13,930 --> 00:15:15,960
Oh, there you are.
263
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,100
Kill you later, Quiet.
264
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:19,410
You're mine!
265
00:15:23,170 --> 00:15:25,060
John, bring 'em to me.
266
00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:27,620
- Don't slow down.
267
00:15:43,650 --> 00:15:45,720
- This is it! - Sorry, John.
268
00:15:47,790 --> 00:15:49,370
- Oh, sorry, Stu.
269
00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:52,370
Oh--turn! Turn!
270
00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:53,610
No! Fuck!
271
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,270
Mike! Mike!
272
00:15:58,820 --> 00:16:02,340
- Kill 'em, yeah!
273
00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:10,680
One car down,
274
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,820
and five to go.
275
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:20,480
Where are you going, Grimm?
276
00:16:22,030 --> 00:16:24,410
- Oh, what have we here?
277
00:16:26,270 --> 00:16:27,680
Grimm's my main course,
278
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:30,860
but your nasty little ass can be my appetizer.
279
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:35,200
The clown's trying to fuck me?
280
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,860
Good thing I brought protection.
281
00:16:39,170 --> 00:16:40,990
Here comes the pain!
282
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,340
A shield? That's not the spirit of the game.
283
00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:50,440
Fucking cheater!
284
00:16:50,790 --> 00:16:52,820
Kiss me, and I'll kiss you back.
285
00:17:05,820 --> 00:17:07,960
- Let's go! Let's go!
286
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,440
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
287
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:14,720
What is she doing?
288
00:17:16,750 --> 00:17:18,370
Honestly, it's pretty badass.
289
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,610
Cheat codes? Pathetic!
290
00:17:22,890 --> 00:17:24,240
Who wants it next?
291
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,270
I want carnage, not trickery.
292
00:17:36,550 --> 00:17:37,960
Fuck!
293
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,100
Fuck a force field.
294
00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:44,750
All I need is force!
295
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,860
There, balance restored.
296
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,580
Are you enjoying the show?
297
00:17:56,860 --> 00:17:58,100
Come on, John.
298
00:17:58,100 --> 00:17:59,100
Come on, Quiet.
299
00:18:04,370 --> 00:18:06,240
Hey, could you help me get them off my ass, please?
300
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:07,340
On it!
301
00:18:15,510 --> 00:18:18,130
All right, Raven, now it's just you and me.
302
00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:24,130
I had you all set up to win,
303
00:18:24,130 --> 00:18:26,100
but you threw it all away for the nookie!
304
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,550
- Oh, shit!
305
00:19:11,170 --> 00:19:12,750
Now I'm glad you didn't drive for me.
306
00:19:12,750 --> 00:19:13,890
You suck at this.
307
00:19:13,890 --> 00:19:15,240
Hey, Raven...
308
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:17,720
...get fucked!
309
00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:30,550
Kiss my ass, Raven!
310
00:19:52,410 --> 00:19:54,100
May I have this dance?
311
00:20:32,270 --> 00:20:34,300
Okay, dummy, you go left, I go right.
312
00:20:34,310 --> 00:20:35,340
I mean, mix it up a little.
313
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,990
Raven's out! We're almost there.
314
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,170
I'm trying to line up Grimm, but he's squirrelly.
315
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,440
Hey, that kill is mine!
316
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,340
Does dibs mean nothing to you people?
317
00:20:53,860 --> 00:20:56,100
Wait, does your Roadkill have the red lever?
318
00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:01,200
Fuck, yeah, it does. Line 'em up.
319
00:21:03,370 --> 00:21:05,370
Ooh, predictable.
320
00:21:07,930 --> 00:21:09,060
Ready.
321
00:21:10,580 --> 00:21:11,680
Now!
322
00:21:14,310 --> 00:21:15,580
Bye-bye!
323
00:21:25,820 --> 00:21:28,370
Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.
324
00:21:33,410 --> 00:21:35,410
Time to settle this, Grimm,
325
00:21:35,410 --> 00:21:38,440
once and for all.
326
00:21:56,310 --> 00:22:00,340
Yes, Grimm!
327
00:22:00,790 --> 00:22:05,240
Grimm! Grimm! Grimm! Grimm! Grimm!
328
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:06,960
No!
329
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,650
This is my show!
330
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,130
It's just hands and noses now.
331
00:22:16,410 --> 00:22:18,550
Hey! Hey!
332
00:22:18,550 --> 00:22:19,720
This doesn't concern you.
333
00:22:26,410 --> 00:22:29,100
You can kill me, but at the end of the day,
334
00:22:29,100 --> 00:22:31,510
you'll still be a sad, pathetic clown,
335
00:22:31,510 --> 00:22:33,170
Marcus!
336
00:22:35,930 --> 00:22:38,100
But everyone will know my name.
337
00:22:38,100 --> 00:22:41,270
- Sweet Tooth!
338
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:46,610
Bullseye.
339
00:22:46,620 --> 00:22:48,580
Booyah!
340
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,610
I would like to see that on the replay.
341
00:22:55,620 --> 00:22:57,620
Oh, wait, I can.
342
00:23:01,310 --> 00:23:03,060
Oh, yes!
343
00:23:07,510 --> 00:23:09,820
Now time for the real fun to begin.
344
00:23:12,550 --> 00:23:14,510
We're close to the end, folks.
345
00:23:14,510 --> 00:23:15,990
But I have a feeling some of you out there
346
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,580
would love a little twist.
347
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,200
What's a final round
348
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,680
without a final boss?
349
00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:56,000
Please welcome to the game...
350
00:23:58,100 --> 00:24:00,200
...Minion!
351
00:24:34,790 --> 00:24:36,410
It's wonderful, isn't it?
352
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,240
I mean, yes, you could have warned them,
353
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:39,580
but it's better this way.
354
00:24:39,580 --> 00:24:41,240
They'll never hold you back again.
355
00:24:56,270 --> 00:24:57,750
What the hell is that thing?
356
00:24:58,820 --> 00:25:01,170
A robot or a monster.
357
00:25:01,170 --> 00:25:02,960
A robot monster?
358
00:25:05,370 --> 00:25:07,610
Okay, tough guy, game on.
359
00:25:07,620 --> 00:25:08,990
Here we go.
360
00:25:24,370 --> 00:25:26,170
Ah, goddammit!
361
00:25:30,340 --> 00:25:32,890
Well, guess we're gonna do this the old-fashioned way.
362
00:25:42,820 --> 00:25:44,440
Shit, this motherfucker's fast.
363
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:52,510
I'd like to go to your gym.
364
00:26:15,860 --> 00:26:17,130
This is bad.
365
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,100
That all you got?
366
00:26:44,310 --> 00:26:46,890
Ooh!
367
00:26:47,550 --> 00:26:49,100
Sad clown.
368
00:27:07,170 --> 00:27:08,270
Move! Move!
369
00:27:15,790 --> 00:27:17,130
Holy fuck!
370
00:27:19,310 --> 00:27:21,440
What do you want to do about this whole final boss situation?
371
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,680
I have no idea, but I'm starting to think
372
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,340
Calypso might not want anybody to win this tournament.
373
00:27:26,340 --> 00:27:28,240
Why go through all this trouble?
374
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:29,790
Question for another day.
375
00:27:29,790 --> 00:27:31,370
Right now I'm wondering how to beat this son of a bitch.
376
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,000
Oh, shit!
377
00:27:37,510 --> 00:27:38,680
Whoa!
378
00:27:54,340 --> 00:27:55,580
Shit-face, you missed!
379
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:11,650
Ooh!
380
00:28:18,930 --> 00:28:20,410
Hey, John. Remind me,
381
00:28:20,410 --> 00:28:22,270
how is Roadkill's turning radius?
382
00:28:23,650 --> 00:28:25,300
Fucking awesome!
383
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:29,340
Let's show this big red motherfucker
384
00:28:29,340 --> 00:28:30,510
what Roadkill is made of.
385
00:28:30,510 --> 00:28:32,000
You got it. Locking on.
386
00:28:41,650 --> 00:28:42,820
I found a weak spot on its back!
387
00:28:42,820 --> 00:28:45,200
Okay, I take left, You take right.
388
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:46,650
We'll outflank him together.
389
00:28:46,650 --> 00:28:48,480
Wouldn't want it any other way.
390
00:28:52,890 --> 00:28:54,240
Shit.
391
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:56,370
Game over.
392
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:07,300
Oh, god.
393
00:29:07,310 --> 00:29:08,510
Quiet!
394
00:29:17,130 --> 00:29:18,370
John!
395
00:29:18,370 --> 00:29:21,440
Oh!
396
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,860
Oh, looks like we may have a winner.
397
00:30:02,750 --> 00:30:04,860
Double elimination!
398
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:12,720
John!
399
00:30:16,550 --> 00:30:20,270
John! John...
400
00:30:20,270 --> 00:30:22,550
John, come on, damn it, wake up!
401
00:30:22,860 --> 00:30:24,820
Wake up, please!
402
00:30:25,550 --> 00:30:26,580
John!
403
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,100
John, goddammit, wake up!
404
00:30:34,510 --> 00:30:35,890
John!
405
00:30:51,130 --> 00:30:53,000
Mike?
406
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:54,860
Mike.
407
00:30:55,580 --> 00:30:57,960
Mike! Wake up, dude!
408
00:30:57,960 --> 00:30:59,030
Mike!
409
00:31:03,620 --> 00:31:05,030
I'm so sorry, man.
410
00:31:07,170 --> 00:31:08,270
You didn't deserve this.
411
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,170
I love you, man. Wake up!
412
00:31:14,370 --> 00:31:16,130
I'll avenge you.
413
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,340
I promise.
414
00:31:34,790 --> 00:31:36,200
All right, you crazy fucks,
415
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:37,820
it's time to feel the wrath of...
416
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:44,130
Wait a minute.
417
00:31:44,130 --> 00:31:45,820
Where is everyone?
418
00:31:54,860 --> 00:31:55,890
Wow.
419
00:31:57,370 --> 00:31:59,130
Okay, uh...
420
00:32:00,510 --> 00:32:02,200
...ladies and gentlemen,
421
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,340
please congratulate the victors,
422
00:32:04,340 --> 00:32:06,410
Mike and Stu!
423
00:32:08,030 --> 00:32:09,480
Oh, wait, Mike's dead.
424
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:12,440
Uh, just Stu!
425
00:32:12,750 --> 00:32:14,890
- I won? - Stu! Stu! Stu! Stu!
426
00:32:14,890 --> 00:32:17,680
Stu! Stu! Stu! Stu!
427
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:19,310
Stu! Stu! Stu!
428
00:32:21,340 --> 00:32:22,510
John!
429
00:32:22,510 --> 00:32:24,240
Stu! Stu! Stu!
430
00:32:40,580 --> 00:32:43,720
I will be leaving now, you greasy-haired little bitch.
431
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:45,650
Well, I tried.
432
00:32:46,030 --> 00:32:47,510
Go on. Go to them.
433
00:32:49,370 --> 00:32:51,030
It's not going to matter soon anyway.
434
00:32:54,370 --> 00:32:55,890
We did it, Mike.
435
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:58,890
- I'm the winner!
436
00:32:58,890 --> 00:33:02,620
Yeah! I'm the winner!
437
00:33:51,860 --> 00:33:53,440
Jesus Christ.
28715
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