All language subtitles for Top Cat - 01x03 - all that jazz [fester1500].DVDRip.English

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,018 --> 00:00:05,543 I'm going to introduce some real class into this town. 2 00:00:05,621 --> 00:00:09,182 Bingo games, pinochle, hayrides, parties, everything. 3 00:00:09,258 --> 00:00:12,716 -Gee, that sounds great, Jazz. -That's only the beginning. 4 00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:16,925 Ten ball in the corner pocket. Three-cushion ricochet the hard way. 5 00:00:20,202 --> 00:00:23,296 Hold the phone. Cease. Desist. Halt. 6 00:00:23,572 --> 00:00:26,905 Slow down, slippery. You got a long way to slide. 7 00:00:26,976 --> 00:00:30,241 I hate to intrude on your empire building, buster... 8 00:00:30,312 --> 00:00:32,712 but I am top cat around here. 9 00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:36,309 That's all like passe, friend. A new breed is taking over. 10 00:00:36,385 --> 00:00:39,445 If you don't mind, my pals and I are having a little game of pool. 11 00:00:39,522 --> 00:00:41,217 You get the point? 12 00:01:26,969 --> 00:01:29,130 This is the big city. 13 00:01:29,205 --> 00:01:33,335 Each day, hundreds of people arrive seeking a new way of life... 14 00:01:33,409 --> 00:01:35,536 searching for the big break. 15 00:01:35,611 --> 00:01:38,273 And here we see a pair of hardy fortune seekers... 16 00:01:38,347 --> 00:01:40,907 newly arrived on the city scene. 17 00:01:44,620 --> 00:01:46,815 Jazz, wake up. We're here. 18 00:01:50,092 --> 00:01:52,253 Right. Let's go, Bo. 19 00:01:55,431 --> 00:01:56,989 You all right, Jazz? 20 00:01:57,066 --> 00:02:01,264 Yeah. But you better watch that first step. It's a doozie. 21 00:02:03,038 --> 00:02:04,130 Here we are, Bo. 22 00:02:04,206 --> 00:02:07,801 The big town where an agile mind can find new worlds to conquer. 23 00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:10,471 You mean, you're gonna get a job, Jazz? 24 00:02:10,546 --> 00:02:13,140 What a revolting thought. No. 25 00:02:13,282 --> 00:02:15,648 I'm going to find us a nice soft touch somewhere. 26 00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:18,448 And in no time, we'll be in the big time. 27 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:21,785 Sure beats Syracuse, Jazz. When do we start? 28 00:02:23,492 --> 00:02:25,483 What's with all that banging? 29 00:02:26,996 --> 00:02:29,590 What's up, Jazz? Where they all going? 30 00:02:29,665 --> 00:02:31,462 I don't know, Bo. 31 00:02:31,533 --> 00:02:35,299 I left the crystal ball back in Syracuse. But I'm gonna find out. 32 00:02:38,374 --> 00:02:39,602 All right, you clods. 33 00:02:39,675 --> 00:02:43,270 When you hear the sound of the cymbals, set a few speed records getting here. 34 00:02:43,345 --> 00:02:46,212 -What's cooking, T.C.? -Yeah, how come you banged? 35 00:02:46,282 --> 00:02:49,115 Just a little stockholder's meeting, fellas. 36 00:02:54,123 --> 00:02:57,320 I wish they'd fix that hole in the bowling alley door. 37 00:02:57,393 --> 00:03:00,658 All right, Benny. I want a report on the take from the bingo games. 38 00:03:00,729 --> 00:03:04,256 This is the promised land, all right. And that T.C. guy don't know it... 39 00:03:04,333 --> 00:03:07,200 but he's about to be unseated as the local top cat. 40 00:03:09,004 --> 00:03:12,462 All right, fellas. Back to work. The company can't afford any idle hands. 41 00:03:12,541 --> 00:03:14,771 You can't expect me to do everything now, can you? 42 00:03:14,843 --> 00:03:19,177 Let's move. When I say move, I wanna see nothing but blurs, get it? 43 00:03:23,619 --> 00:03:27,146 Must be one of those occupational hazards you hear about. 44 00:03:27,222 --> 00:03:29,850 Okay, on your feet, men. This ain't no time to rest. 45 00:03:29,925 --> 00:03:32,792 -We're going. -We're gone, man. 46 00:03:32,861 --> 00:03:35,625 And let's have those reports back fast like. 47 00:03:36,565 --> 00:03:40,467 The phone again. How can I concentrate with all this intolerance? 48 00:03:43,572 --> 00:03:46,473 Hello? Who? Officer Dibble? 49 00:03:47,276 --> 00:03:50,541 I'm sorry. You have dialed the wrong number. 50 00:03:50,612 --> 00:03:53,274 Please check the proper number in the yellow book. 51 00:03:53,349 --> 00:03:55,283 This is a recording. 52 00:03:56,118 --> 00:03:58,609 Hold it right there, T.C. 53 00:03:58,954 --> 00:04:01,479 Caught you red-handed using the police phone... 54 00:04:01,557 --> 00:04:04,720 and interfering with official business, didn't I? 55 00:04:04,793 --> 00:04:06,385 You'll get 30 days for this. 56 00:04:06,462 --> 00:04:09,761 Just a minute, Officer Dibble. Let me hear that voice again. 57 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,959 Surely you must have sung at the Met at one time. 58 00:04:12,034 --> 00:04:14,002 -Well, l-- -Come, come. Don't be modest. 59 00:04:14,069 --> 00:04:18,130 Let me hear that golden voice once more, that deplorable baritone. 60 00:04:18,207 --> 00:04:19,538 All right. 61 00:04:28,417 --> 00:04:30,647 Wonderful. Yuck. 62 00:04:30,719 --> 00:04:34,485 What range. What power. Now let's hear it from back further. 63 00:04:34,556 --> 00:04:37,184 Okay. I'll go down to the end of the alley. 64 00:04:37,259 --> 00:04:38,385 That's it, Dibble. 65 00:04:38,460 --> 00:04:42,453 Go way back, so I can fully appreciate those pear-shaped tonsils. 66 00:04:42,531 --> 00:04:44,260 -How's this? -Fine. 67 00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:45,823 So long, Dibble. 68 00:04:45,968 --> 00:04:48,027 So long, Top Cat. Thanks. 69 00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:50,437 Now wait a minute. 70 00:04:50,806 --> 00:04:53,366 I'd be doggone if he didn't do it again. 71 00:04:53,442 --> 00:04:56,536 I had him, and he slipped right out of my hands. 72 00:04:57,312 --> 00:05:00,042 -Begging your pardon, Officer. -What is it? 73 00:05:00,115 --> 00:05:03,744 Kind sir, perhaps you'll assist us. We're newly arrived in your fair city. 74 00:05:03,819 --> 00:05:06,982 And before we find a job, as is our usual habit... 75 00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:09,217 we would like to perform our daily good deed. 76 00:05:09,291 --> 00:05:11,987 Like, is there an old lady we can help cross the street... 77 00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:16,020 walk your police dog, perhaps clean up this dirty alley? 78 00:05:16,432 --> 00:05:19,799 Say, now that's real swell of you guys. 79 00:05:19,868 --> 00:05:23,065 I've been trying to get this alley cleaned out for years. 80 00:05:23,172 --> 00:05:26,005 We're just in time, Bo. Let's show our gratitude. 81 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:28,509 You don't have to do that, fellas. 82 00:05:28,844 --> 00:05:32,007 Just clean out this alley, and you'll be doing your good deed. 83 00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:35,209 Right you are, sir. Come on, Bo. We got work to do. 84 00:05:35,284 --> 00:05:38,845 How delightful. How lucky we are. 85 00:05:39,388 --> 00:05:42,289 It's too bad Top Cat ain't like that. 86 00:05:45,294 --> 00:05:48,730 You know, maybe I should palm Dibble off to the Met. 87 00:05:49,031 --> 00:05:53,832 That way, at least he'll be out of my alley. But I cannot be angry today. 88 00:05:53,902 --> 00:05:58,566 It's almost zero hour. Time for my date with the top doll in town. 89 00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:05,573 What happened to the alley? 90 00:06:05,647 --> 00:06:09,777 What is this? Clean ashcans, papers piled up neat. 91 00:06:09,852 --> 00:06:12,218 Everything in order. The joint's a mess. 92 00:06:12,287 --> 00:06:14,221 Why, it looks like a hospital. 93 00:06:14,289 --> 00:06:17,656 One of the boys must have flipped. I'll give them the signal. 94 00:06:22,431 --> 00:06:25,628 -Hey T.C., what's up? -Benny, where is everybody? 95 00:06:25,701 --> 00:06:28,192 Where's Choo Choo, the Spook, Fancy, all of them? 96 00:06:28,270 --> 00:06:30,670 They're all over on the East Side. 97 00:06:30,739 --> 00:06:33,731 Some guy named Jazz is giving us bongo lessons. 98 00:06:33,809 --> 00:06:38,473 Bongo lessons? I can endure a little insubordination for the sake of culture. 99 00:06:38,814 --> 00:06:42,716 I'll just handle this later. Besides, I can't be angry today, Benny boy. 100 00:06:42,784 --> 00:06:45,947 Yeah, today's the day you see your girl. 101 00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:48,316 Good for you, Benny. 102 00:06:48,390 --> 00:06:51,382 Now, quickly with the flowers and the candy. Move, boy. 103 00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:52,586 Right, T.C. 104 00:06:53,762 --> 00:06:56,287 In the spring a young man's fancy-- 105 00:06:56,365 --> 00:06:57,798 What took you so long? 106 00:06:57,866 --> 00:07:02,667 Sorry, T.C. Officer Dibble gave me some static for picking flowers in the park. 107 00:07:02,738 --> 00:07:04,831 It's okay. Just let me have them. 108 00:07:05,707 --> 00:07:09,643 Let me see. Flowers, candy, me. What else could she want? 109 00:07:09,745 --> 00:07:13,681 Well, if she ever saw me, she'd throw rocks at you. 110 00:07:15,484 --> 00:07:18,715 Just be a good boy, Benny, and let me be the clever one. 111 00:07:18,787 --> 00:07:21,381 The Top Cat does the jokes, remember? 112 00:07:21,523 --> 00:07:23,753 Well, so long and arrivederci! 113 00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:30,392 Here we are, 77 Dreamsville Strip. 114 00:07:30,632 --> 00:07:35,092 I'd better turn the charm down to low lest it overpower the poor sweet child. 115 00:07:37,673 --> 00:07:40,699 The door of love swings open. 116 00:07:41,109 --> 00:07:43,475 Greetings, my dear. I bring flowers for you. 117 00:07:43,545 --> 00:07:47,572 But they shrank from shame beside such beauty as yours. 118 00:07:49,518 --> 00:07:52,715 Very strange behavior for a girl so much in love. 119 00:07:52,821 --> 00:07:54,846 Must be a joke, of course. 120 00:07:55,490 --> 00:07:58,653 Delightful sense of humor. I like that in a girl. 121 00:08:00,662 --> 00:08:02,095 Funny. 122 00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:09,432 Enough of this idle humor. It's time for the park and the birds, Trella. 123 00:08:09,504 --> 00:08:11,233 I'm sorry, T.C. 124 00:08:11,306 --> 00:08:14,537 But I have a date. Jazz is inside. 125 00:08:15,777 --> 00:08:18,712 But thanks for the candy and the flowers, anyway. 126 00:08:20,849 --> 00:08:23,579 Just a minute. What's with all this "Jazz" jazz? 127 00:08:24,486 --> 00:08:26,454 That's A.T. Jazz to you, man. 128 00:08:26,521 --> 00:08:29,490 -What's the A.T. stand for? -All that. 129 00:08:29,558 --> 00:08:30,820 It figures. 130 00:08:30,993 --> 00:08:32,961 Look, pal. It's you who don't get it. 131 00:08:33,028 --> 00:08:35,724 Me and the chick have a regular thing going. Get me? 132 00:08:35,797 --> 00:08:39,096 Sorry, chum. That's all over. I'm in. You're out. 133 00:08:39,167 --> 00:08:41,635 Here's your posies and your candy. 134 00:08:42,004 --> 00:08:43,631 The box, that is. 135 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,832 This boy is really asking for it. 136 00:08:47,909 --> 00:08:50,309 Jazz, you in there? 137 00:08:50,846 --> 00:08:52,370 You guessed it, Chester. 138 00:08:52,447 --> 00:08:55,610 Now, run along and play on the freeway, will you? 139 00:08:56,718 --> 00:08:59,448 Relax, baby. The first team is back. 140 00:09:00,722 --> 00:09:02,815 That rug bit was real cute. 141 00:09:03,225 --> 00:09:06,786 But it ain't nothing to what an old inner tube and a hook can do. 142 00:09:11,033 --> 00:09:13,263 Where did we leave off yesterday? 143 00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:17,396 Yes, I remember. I said I wasn't the type to kiss and run. 144 00:09:28,684 --> 00:09:31,118 You didn't make out so good, T.C.? 145 00:09:31,186 --> 00:09:33,586 I gotta think, Benny. I gotta collect my thoughts. 146 00:09:33,655 --> 00:09:36,920 Let's drop into the club for a while. A little pool will keep me cool. 147 00:09:38,593 --> 00:09:41,494 Now you guys stick with Jazz, and you'll really swing. 148 00:09:41,563 --> 00:09:44,157 I'm going to introduce some real class into this town. 149 00:09:44,232 --> 00:09:47,668 Bingo games, pinochle, hayrides, parties, everything. 150 00:09:47,736 --> 00:09:51,297 -Gee, that sounds great, Jazz. -That's only the beginning. 151 00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:54,968 Ten ball in the corner pocket. Three-cushion ricochet the hard way. 152 00:09:58,847 --> 00:10:01,543 There will be a slight fee, and I'll need volunteers. 153 00:10:01,616 --> 00:10:04,585 Hold the phone. Cease. Desist. Halt. 154 00:10:04,786 --> 00:10:08,085 Slow down, slippery. You got a long way to slide. 155 00:10:08,156 --> 00:10:12,024 Well, well, well. I guess this joint don't care who it lets in here. 156 00:10:12,094 --> 00:10:15,291 I hate to intrude on your empire building, buster... 157 00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:17,832 but I'm top cat around here. 158 00:10:17,899 --> 00:10:21,357 That's all like passe, friend. A new breed is taking over. 159 00:10:21,436 --> 00:10:24,371 If you don't mind, my pals and I are having a little game of pool. 160 00:10:24,439 --> 00:10:26,100 You get the point? 161 00:10:28,143 --> 00:10:30,941 Why, that chiseling phony Jazz, stealing my gang. 162 00:10:31,012 --> 00:10:34,778 How do you like that? I relax for a minute and the place is full of sharpies. 163 00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:36,784 Look, T.C. There's Choo Choo. 164 00:10:38,086 --> 00:10:40,350 Hiya, T.C. Hiya, Benny. What's new? 165 00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:44,882 Choo Choo, what are you doing to me? That sign is advertising Jazz's bingo party. 166 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,053 What's wrong with my bingo parties? 167 00:10:47,129 --> 00:10:50,257 Nothing, T.C. Jazz gives two bits an hour for this. 168 00:10:50,332 --> 00:10:52,129 I've got to support a sick mother. 169 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:56,603 Go on. The only sick mother you support runs on a wet track at Pimlico. 170 00:10:57,606 --> 00:10:59,267 See you around, T.C. 171 00:11:01,209 --> 00:11:04,645 Look at that. He's even beating my pinochle prices. 172 00:11:04,713 --> 00:11:07,181 Yeah, T.C. You charge $1.50. 173 00:11:09,317 --> 00:11:13,515 I got to think of something to send that Jazz far away. Let me think. 174 00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:15,985 Of course. Why not? 175 00:11:16,324 --> 00:11:19,487 All we got to do is dream up a better setup for Jazz... 176 00:11:19,561 --> 00:11:23,930 preferably far away, like for instance Alaska or the Fiji islands. 177 00:11:23,999 --> 00:11:25,261 How you gonna do that, T.C.? 178 00:11:25,333 --> 00:11:27,392 All we got to do is get the word to Jazz... 179 00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:29,403 that I'm leaving town for good. 180 00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:32,804 When Jazz hears about it, he'll figure I'm moving in on something better. 181 00:11:32,874 --> 00:11:35,775 And, naturally, he's going to try to beat me to it. 182 00:11:35,844 --> 00:11:40,008 -But I won't be there. -You're a genius, T.C. 183 00:11:40,115 --> 00:11:42,276 I'll rush right over and tell Jazz. 184 00:11:43,585 --> 00:11:47,248 Hold it! Let us not be so crude. 185 00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:51,255 Why, he's too shrewd to fall for it right off the bat. We must be sly. 186 00:11:51,326 --> 00:11:54,261 We must let the word slip out, subtle like. 187 00:11:54,329 --> 00:11:56,490 Now what we need an informer. 188 00:11:56,565 --> 00:11:59,295 And who is the one guy that can never keep a secret? 189 00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:01,631 -Brain, who else? -Right. Get him over here. 190 00:12:01,703 --> 00:12:03,500 On the double, chief. 191 00:12:04,239 --> 00:12:06,537 -You wanted me, T.C.? -Yeah, Brain. 192 00:12:06,641 --> 00:12:09,804 Benny, don't you have an appointment somewhere? 193 00:12:09,945 --> 00:12:11,640 Who, me? No.... 194 00:12:12,614 --> 00:12:16,778 I get it. I'd better get out of here. So long, fellows! 195 00:12:18,286 --> 00:12:19,776 What's up? 196 00:12:19,988 --> 00:12:24,550 Brain, you're the only guy I can trust. My one true loyal friend. 197 00:12:24,626 --> 00:12:28,153 I want you to get all my gear packed, everything, but quietly, no noise. 198 00:12:28,296 --> 00:12:30,662 Gee, T.C., you mean you're leaving? 199 00:12:30,899 --> 00:12:34,232 Quiet, Brain! You never know who might be listening. 200 00:12:34,302 --> 00:12:35,769 This is top-secret stuff. 201 00:12:35,837 --> 00:12:39,705 I don't want anyone to know about the Zulu diamonds in Diambodi. 202 00:12:39,774 --> 00:12:42,868 So mum's the word, Brain. Just you and me know. 203 00:12:42,944 --> 00:12:44,036 Can you keep this a secret? 204 00:12:44,112 --> 00:12:47,673 You know me, T.C., I wouldn't breathe a word. 205 00:12:47,849 --> 00:12:49,908 I'll go pack your bags now. 206 00:12:50,952 --> 00:12:53,318 There goes a good, useful kid. 207 00:12:53,455 --> 00:12:56,515 He won't breathe a word, unless Jazz asks him. 208 00:12:56,825 --> 00:12:58,656 And now for step two. 209 00:13:00,228 --> 00:13:03,561 I tell you, Bo, we got a good thing here. Just give me a little time... 210 00:13:03,632 --> 00:13:07,261 and I'll have Top Cat's bunch working for me for peanuts. 211 00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:10,805 Come, this is as quiet a spot as any in town. 212 00:13:10,872 --> 00:13:13,204 That corner over there will do just fine. 213 00:13:13,275 --> 00:13:15,175 You got all the books, Benny? Good. 214 00:13:15,243 --> 00:13:17,734 Let's get right to work. We haven't got much time. 215 00:13:17,812 --> 00:13:19,837 I'm right behind you, T.C. 216 00:13:20,582 --> 00:13:24,348 Gee, what do you suppose T.C. is doing with all those books? 217 00:13:24,486 --> 00:13:28,513 Why, it's just a feeble attempt to bridge the Brain's gap. Relax. 218 00:13:28,623 --> 00:13:31,387 Now for the Swahili lessons. Check me out. 219 00:13:35,463 --> 00:13:36,623 How's that, Benny? 220 00:13:36,698 --> 00:13:40,429 I can still detect a strong American accent. 221 00:13:40,769 --> 00:13:43,670 -How about your Zambezi? -Zambezi? 222 00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:48,542 -Great. You know them all now. -Good. 223 00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:52,706 Now I can pick up the passport while you check our boat reservations. 224 00:13:52,781 --> 00:13:56,273 T.C., what's with all the language and books routine? 225 00:13:56,384 --> 00:13:58,875 You plan on finishing grade school? 226 00:14:00,221 --> 00:14:04,214 You see, we thought we might just buzz over to the UN... 227 00:14:04,292 --> 00:14:08,228 and catch a few speeches. Broaden our knowledge of world affairs. 228 00:14:08,296 --> 00:14:10,457 See you around, Jazz. Ta-ta. 229 00:14:10,532 --> 00:14:13,524 Pretty clever, that T.C. I know there's something cooking... 230 00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:16,162 and I know just where to find out what. 231 00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,807 Thanks a lot for the pizza, Jazz. 232 00:14:21,876 --> 00:14:24,208 -It's very kind of you. -That's all right, pal. 233 00:14:24,279 --> 00:14:27,442 I always take care of my friends. We are friends, you know? 234 00:14:27,515 --> 00:14:29,949 Sure. Anchovies and peppers, too. 235 00:14:30,018 --> 00:14:32,714 Nothing is too good for a buddy of mine. 236 00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:35,048 Now, incidentally, buddy... 237 00:14:35,123 --> 00:14:38,581 how come T.C. is so big on the foreign lingo kick? 238 00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:41,458 I don't know. T.C. never tells me anything. 239 00:14:43,431 --> 00:14:45,831 What are you doing with my pizza? 240 00:14:47,035 --> 00:14:48,696 Some pal you are. 241 00:14:49,070 --> 00:14:51,732 You don't even know any secret information. 242 00:14:54,042 --> 00:14:57,341 This is sure nice of you, Jazz. I've been waiting to see... 243 00:14:57,412 --> 00:14:59,744 The Creature That Ate the Monster for weeks. 244 00:14:59,814 --> 00:15:01,839 I'm only too glad to take you. 245 00:15:01,916 --> 00:15:04,714 Let me have two cushiony loges for me and my buddy. 246 00:15:04,786 --> 00:15:06,583 Speaking of buddies... 247 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:09,886 how come my buddy T.C. is taking all those language courses? 248 00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:13,450 Like how should I know, Jazz? He never tells me nothing. 249 00:15:13,528 --> 00:15:16,190 Forget those tickets, lady. I've been double-crossed. 250 00:15:16,264 --> 00:15:17,788 Fair-weather friend. 251 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:22,531 I guess I'll never find out why the creature ate the monster. 252 00:15:24,639 --> 00:15:27,574 Thanks for helping me with T.C.'s luggage, Jazz. 253 00:15:27,642 --> 00:15:29,837 Anything for you, little pal. 254 00:15:29,911 --> 00:15:33,608 Tell me, Brain, where is T.C. heading for with all this? 255 00:15:33,815 --> 00:15:35,305 It's a secret. 256 00:15:35,383 --> 00:15:39,979 I ain't supposed to tell anyone about the Zulu diamonds in Diambodi. 257 00:15:40,055 --> 00:15:41,852 So don't ask me. 258 00:15:42,223 --> 00:15:46,557 It sounds great. I wonder why he keeps it a secret? 259 00:15:46,728 --> 00:15:48,628 It's such a soft touch. 260 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:51,461 There are hundreds of diamonds lying on the ground... 261 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:54,400 -ready to be picked up by anyone. -Diamonds? 262 00:15:56,438 --> 00:16:00,135 -I thought you were helping me, Jazz. -Later, Brain. 263 00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:02,699 Right now I got to catch me a fast plane. 264 00:16:06,047 --> 00:16:09,483 -He went for it. -What are you guys doing in the trunk? 265 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:12,850 The trip is off, Brain. Jazz is going to make it instead. 266 00:16:16,858 --> 00:16:20,726 Would you be kind enough to issue one ticket, one-way to Diambodi? 267 00:16:20,795 --> 00:16:23,559 Diambodi? There isn't any Diambodi. 268 00:16:23,865 --> 00:16:27,392 Look, pal, I got no time to play silly games. Look it up. 269 00:16:27,869 --> 00:16:31,464 Nope. Sorry, no Diambodi. Maybe it's a gag. 270 00:16:32,807 --> 00:16:36,072 T.C., of course. That little sneak. 271 00:16:36,344 --> 00:16:40,041 Hold on, pal. You may still get a passenger to Diambodi. 272 00:16:42,283 --> 00:16:45,377 Now that your leader has so brilliantly removed old Jazz... 273 00:16:45,453 --> 00:16:48,820 I suggest we turn on the ball game to see who won the pool. 274 00:16:50,358 --> 00:16:52,622 What a ball game. It's the last of the ninth. 275 00:16:52,694 --> 00:16:56,255 The Giants at bat, trailing four to nothing. Bases loaded. 276 00:16:56,331 --> 00:17:00,529 Two out, count is two and three and here comes the pitch. 277 00:17:02,270 --> 00:17:06,206 We interrupt this program. Diamonds, I said, diamonds... 278 00:17:06,274 --> 00:17:10,074 have just been discovered in the hitherto unknown village of Diambodi. 279 00:17:10,145 --> 00:17:13,876 In order to avoid a land rush, we urge all citizens to stay away. 280 00:17:13,948 --> 00:17:16,473 This announcement came to you as a public service. 281 00:17:16,551 --> 00:17:19,543 How do you like that. I thought Diambodi was a phony place. 282 00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:22,454 Now Jazz is on his way there to get all those diamonds. 283 00:17:22,524 --> 00:17:24,048 Boy, what luck. 284 00:17:24,292 --> 00:17:27,159 It worked. It worked like a charm. Listen to him. 285 00:17:27,228 --> 00:17:29,196 All right, guys. We gotta move fast. 286 00:17:29,264 --> 00:17:31,528 Benny, Choo Choo, get me some mosquito nets. 287 00:17:31,599 --> 00:17:34,295 Spook, Fancy, check the airport. Brain-- 288 00:17:34,369 --> 00:17:37,964 -I know. Pack you bags. -Glad you were paying attention. 289 00:17:38,039 --> 00:17:39,700 Blur, boys, blur. 290 00:17:40,441 --> 00:17:43,774 In a fast jet, I might beat old Jazz to Diambodi yet. 291 00:17:48,316 --> 00:17:51,376 Quick. Give me one ticket, one way to Diambodi. 292 00:17:51,452 --> 00:17:54,717 What's got into everybody? There is no such place. 293 00:17:54,789 --> 00:17:59,249 Of course, sir, I understand. We mustn't let it get too crowded over there. 294 00:17:59,327 --> 00:18:02,125 That's okay. I'm one of the guys that got the tip. 295 00:18:02,197 --> 00:18:03,960 This has got to be a joke. 296 00:18:04,032 --> 00:18:07,900 I get it. You airline people want to keep all the diamonds to yourselves. 297 00:18:07,969 --> 00:18:11,530 Well, I'll just see the president of this chicken outfit. 298 00:18:11,639 --> 00:18:15,405 Oh, dear. I do wish someone would let me in on the gag. 299 00:18:15,476 --> 00:18:17,706 I never get any laughs around here. 300 00:18:19,113 --> 00:18:23,277 "J.C. Crowflies, President." Yeah, that's the guy I want to talk to. 301 00:18:24,052 --> 00:18:28,489 It took me all morning to build this thing. It ought to really fly. 302 00:18:31,192 --> 00:18:33,387 Boy, look at that plane bank. 303 00:18:35,597 --> 00:18:39,055 -Yes? -A Mr. T.C. to see you, sir. 304 00:18:39,133 --> 00:18:42,500 T.C.? Sounds important. Send him in. 305 00:18:43,771 --> 00:18:48,140 I'd better get rid of this paper airplane. He might think I'm some kind of a nut. 306 00:18:50,111 --> 00:18:52,102 I won't beat about the bush, sir. 307 00:18:52,180 --> 00:18:55,411 I'm here to talk about the Diambodi situation. 308 00:18:55,483 --> 00:18:56,575 The what? 309 00:18:56,651 --> 00:19:00,485 Now, no need to be coy, J.C. I know all about it. 310 00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:04,818 Your secret is safe with me, boy. For a consideration, of course. 311 00:19:05,093 --> 00:19:08,028 And I was worried he might think I was a nut. 312 00:19:08,596 --> 00:19:10,826 Send in a policeman. 313 00:19:10,899 --> 00:19:14,266 Shrewd. Very shrewd indeed, J.C. 314 00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:16,798 Top Cat. 315 00:19:17,005 --> 00:19:20,532 I should have known you'd be mixed up in any trouble on my beat. 316 00:19:20,608 --> 00:19:25,102 Officer Dribble, I mean, Dibble. Just the hardy, protective type I like. 317 00:19:25,179 --> 00:19:27,579 Officer, throw that nut out. 318 00:19:27,715 --> 00:19:30,309 It's a pleasure, Mr. Crowflies. 319 00:19:30,385 --> 00:19:33,650 Wait! What about our diamonds in Diambodi, J.C.? 320 00:19:37,325 --> 00:19:39,759 There are no diamonds in Diambodi. 321 00:19:39,827 --> 00:19:42,489 In fact, there isn't even a Diambodi. 322 00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:45,562 No diamonds? No Diambodi? I don't get it. 323 00:19:47,435 --> 00:19:51,269 If I catch you pulling any more of your schemes on my beat... 324 00:19:51,339 --> 00:19:53,739 I'll lock you up for a month of Sundays. 325 00:19:53,808 --> 00:19:57,835 Why can't you follow the example of that nice guy Jazz? 326 00:19:57,946 --> 00:20:00,107 Jazz? Of course. Now I get it. 327 00:20:00,181 --> 00:20:04,015 You don't have to be a college professor to figure out he was behind this. 328 00:20:05,853 --> 00:20:09,311 I am afraid, Bruno, that I must insist on stark realism... 329 00:20:09,390 --> 00:20:12,018 for this new picture, The Thing from the Alley. 330 00:20:12,093 --> 00:20:15,756 Somewhere in these alleys is our star. We must not give up. 331 00:20:15,830 --> 00:20:18,230 You're absolutely and positively right, sir. 332 00:20:18,299 --> 00:20:20,893 Always remember my famous saying. 333 00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:24,496 "For realistic realism, always use the real thing." 334 00:20:24,672 --> 00:20:27,698 Besides, it's cheaper than hiring professional actors. 335 00:20:27,775 --> 00:20:30,938 -You're absolutely, positively right, sir. -Bruno, look. 336 00:20:31,045 --> 00:20:34,173 Over there. It's him. The new star for my film. 337 00:20:34,248 --> 00:20:37,046 The perfect thing from the alley. You have the contract? 338 00:20:37,118 --> 00:20:41,145 -Absolutely and positively right here, sir. -Good. Let's sign him up. 339 00:20:41,222 --> 00:20:44,419 Pardon me, sir. But I have some wonderful, exciting news for you. 340 00:20:44,492 --> 00:20:47,950 Now don't faint. But you are going to star in my next movie. 341 00:20:48,029 --> 00:20:50,497 Naturally. We'll do the whole bit, right? 342 00:20:50,565 --> 00:20:54,467 Hollywood, sport cars, premieres, autographs, the whole schmeer, right? 343 00:20:54,535 --> 00:20:56,059 That's a great routine you got, Mac. 344 00:20:56,137 --> 00:20:59,436 But you better go tell T.C. that I'm onto this routine. 345 00:20:59,507 --> 00:21:02,965 In fact, I'm surprised he pulled such amateurish tactics. 346 00:21:03,044 --> 00:21:06,639 If you two phony baloneys don't mind, I'd like to be alone, you know. 347 00:21:06,714 --> 00:21:09,774 And if you cats don't dig that jive on me, like scram, beat it. 348 00:21:09,851 --> 00:21:11,113 Vamoose. 349 00:21:11,185 --> 00:21:15,144 -What is he talking about, Bruno? -Looks like he turned you down, sir. 350 00:21:15,223 --> 00:21:17,885 Nonsense. No one turns me down! 351 00:21:18,259 --> 00:21:20,250 He just wasn't right for the part. 352 00:21:20,328 --> 00:21:22,694 You're absolutely and positively right, sir. 353 00:21:22,764 --> 00:21:25,790 -He wasn't right for the part. -That's what I like about you. 354 00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:29,098 You have your own opinions. I can't stand the yes man. 355 00:21:29,170 --> 00:21:31,263 Yes, sir. I mean, thank you, sir. 356 00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:33,170 Over there. 357 00:21:33,241 --> 00:21:37,200 There is the one for my picture. The magnificent thing from the alley. 358 00:21:37,278 --> 00:21:40,042 All right, you! You will be my new discovery. 359 00:21:40,114 --> 00:21:42,810 You will be a famous star. Hurry and get packed. 360 00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:46,149 -We leave for Hollywood immediately. -Great performance, pal. 361 00:21:46,220 --> 00:21:49,189 Beautiful. But I know Jazz hired you guys. 362 00:21:49,257 --> 00:21:51,691 Save the hysterics for some more gullible guys... 363 00:21:51,759 --> 00:21:54,057 'cause you ain't fooling me, Charlie. 364 00:21:54,128 --> 00:21:55,618 What do you think? 365 00:21:56,931 --> 00:22:00,423 -He's not right for the part, either? -That's how I feel, too. 366 00:22:00,501 --> 00:22:02,935 We must continue with the search. 367 00:22:03,004 --> 00:22:07,703 Somewhere, someplace, we will find the thing from the alley. 368 00:22:07,775 --> 00:22:09,868 So long, fellows. Nice try. 369 00:22:10,578 --> 00:22:13,979 Those guys ought to be in movies. What a performance. 370 00:22:14,048 --> 00:22:17,484 Boy, Jazz is really scraping the bottom of the gimmick barrel. 371 00:22:17,552 --> 00:22:19,747 It's the oldest routine in the world. 372 00:22:20,555 --> 00:22:24,218 Why the chuckles, laughing boy? Let me in on the gag. 373 00:22:24,692 --> 00:22:28,219 As I am amused by that cornball movie routine... 374 00:22:28,296 --> 00:22:30,662 it cracks me, Jazz. What a laugh! 375 00:22:30,731 --> 00:22:34,030 Don't give me that. I knew all along you hired those guys. 376 00:22:34,102 --> 00:22:36,229 What are you talking about? I didn't hire them. 377 00:22:36,304 --> 00:22:39,637 -You're a riot, T.C., a regular riot. -I say you hired them. 378 00:22:39,707 --> 00:22:41,368 -You did. -I did not. You did. 379 00:22:41,442 --> 00:22:44,570 -No, I didn't. You did. -I did not. It was you. 380 00:22:44,645 --> 00:22:46,772 -Hiya, fellows! -Benny. 381 00:22:46,848 --> 00:22:51,046 I just came to say goodbye. I'm leaving for a few weeks. 382 00:22:51,486 --> 00:22:54,546 Where are you going? What are you doing in that kookie outfit? 383 00:22:54,622 --> 00:22:57,523 I'm going to Hollywood. Some guy picked me out. 384 00:22:57,592 --> 00:23:00,322 He said I was the perfect thing from the alley. 385 00:23:00,394 --> 00:23:02,726 He's gonna put me in a movie. 386 00:23:04,098 --> 00:23:07,727 -Those guys were for real. -And we wouldn't believe them. 387 00:23:07,802 --> 00:23:11,431 Let's go, Mr. Benny. We must catch a plane to Hollywood. 388 00:23:11,539 --> 00:23:14,940 So long, you guys. See you at the premiere. 389 00:23:16,344 --> 00:23:21,008 Just one moment, sir, I'm afraid I must go along to look after my client's interests. 390 00:23:21,716 --> 00:23:24,014 -Your client? -But of course, sir. 391 00:23:24,085 --> 00:23:27,919 As Mr. Benny's personal manager, I must insist he be accompanied... 392 00:23:27,989 --> 00:23:31,481 -with his normal retinue. -Retinue? What retinue? 393 00:23:31,559 --> 00:23:34,619 I'll show you, chum. One valet, coming up. 394 00:23:35,029 --> 00:23:38,624 A chauffeur, a tailor, and a vocal coach. 395 00:23:38,799 --> 00:23:41,893 All present? Good. Gentlemen, we are going to Hollywood. 396 00:23:41,969 --> 00:23:44,904 Into the cab, quick. We got a plane to catch. 397 00:23:46,574 --> 00:23:50,533 So long, Jazz. If you don't get a letter, you'll know we didn't write. 398 00:23:50,611 --> 00:23:53,136 To the airport, driver. And move it. 399 00:23:54,015 --> 00:23:58,748 Why should I complain? I mean, with them gone, the alley is all mine. 400 00:24:01,055 --> 00:24:04,718 Hello, operator. Would you get that Sergeant What's-His-Name off the line? 401 00:24:04,792 --> 00:24:06,555 I'm trying to call Syracuse. 402 00:24:06,627 --> 00:24:10,358 So, you're just as bad as Top Cat? 403 00:24:10,431 --> 00:24:13,423 Please, sir, will you hold it down? This is an important call. 404 00:24:13,501 --> 00:24:17,733 Yeah? Don't you know that using a police phone is a felony... 405 00:24:17,805 --> 00:24:20,103 punishable by a 505? 406 00:24:20,241 --> 00:24:22,471 A 505? What does that mean? 407 00:24:22,543 --> 00:24:26,502 It means you keep this alley clean as a whistle for 30 days... 408 00:24:26,581 --> 00:24:29,641 or I'll run you in for littering. Now get busy. 409 00:24:31,219 --> 00:24:34,211 Jazz, you didn't tell me about this. 410 00:24:34,889 --> 00:24:37,050 What are you complaining about? 411 00:24:37,124 --> 00:24:39,684 I told you we'd clean up in this town, didn't I? 412 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,625 And now we got 30 days to do it. 413 00:24:41,696 --> 00:24:44,665 -Faster, you guys. -Yes, sir. 414 00:24:46,334 --> 00:24:47,824 Oh, boy. Yes, sir. 35438

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