All language subtitles for Top Cat - 01x02 - the maharajah of pookajee [fester1500].DVDRip.English

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:06,300 Hello, Room Service? This is the Maharajah of Pookajee. 2 00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:10,335 -Room Service! -What took you so long? 3 00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:12,675 Never mind. Send up everything on the menu... 4 00:00:12,747 --> 00:00:15,443 and charge it to the manager, with my compliments. 5 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:19,247 Here's a little something for your trouble, fellows. Keep the change. 6 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:23,721 -Wow, look at the size of that ruby! -It's mine. 7 00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:26,520 -Oh, yeah? He gave it to me. -He gave it to me! 8 00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:28,391 It's every man for himself! 9 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,092 Front! 10 00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:35,228 Back, front. Back! 11 00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:37,931 -I got it! -My foot, you do! 12 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,632 -Give me my ruby! -It's mine! 13 00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,436 Help! 14 00:01:30,024 --> 00:01:33,255 Step right up, folks. This is it. The big time in the big top... 15 00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:36,888 where, for a slight fee, you'll see right before your very eyes... 16 00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:40,923 the most daring, unbelievable high-trapeze act ever attempted. 17 00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:45,938 I call your attention to stage right, for the start of this death-defying act. 18 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:49,874 Nobody said anything about defying no death to me. 19 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:54,540 This brave performer will swing across the street, catch his partner... 20 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:58,517 -and swing back, all without a net. -Now he tells me. 21 00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:01,953 -Okay, maestro, if you please. -Right. 22 00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:10,227 What's that crowd doing in the alley? Top Cat must be up to something. 23 00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:14,290 The least T.C. could have done was let us rehearse this once. 24 00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:20,139 Five hundred alleys in New York, and I gotta have one with a nut in it. 25 00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:21,834 What in the.... 26 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,570 Officer Dibble. 27 00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:27,144 Excuse me, folks. I gotta go water the elephants. 28 00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:29,043 I'm ready, Brain. 29 00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:35,188 Officer Dibble, what are you doing here? Everybody wants to get in the act. 30 00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:39,590 Brain, I'm warning you. Put me down or I'll run you in. 31 00:02:39,794 --> 00:02:40,988 Okay. 32 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:49,267 It wasn't much, but he sure is game. 33 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:52,499 That did it. Now I'm really sore. 34 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,574 Old Dibble is on the warpath. 35 00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:58,806 And when I find that Top Cat, the feathers are gonna fly. 36 00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:03,808 It's too bad, fellows. We had such a good thing going. 37 00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:08,412 Lots of dough rolling in, and then Dibble has to play gangbusters. 38 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:11,389 He wasn't bad. Maybe we could work him into the act. 39 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:16,020 No, he'd never go for it. I gotta think up some new way to make a fast buck. 40 00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:18,997 T.C., what's a "may-hay-ray-chay"? 41 00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,330 -What's a what? -A "may-hay-ray-chay." 42 00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:24,929 Who do I look like, Daniel Webster? I didn't write no dictionary. 43 00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:29,499 It says here he gives away rubies. Thousands of dollars worth of rubies. 44 00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:33,069 Rubies, schmoobies, who cares? I got my own problems. 45 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,544 Rubies? Let me see that paper. 46 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,642 "Maharajah of Pookajee to visit city. 47 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,554 "Rich potentate famous for giving away rubies instead of money." 48 00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:46,057 This is it, men. 49 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,152 Our ship has come in, loaded with rubies. 50 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:53,522 All right, everybody out. This is a raid! 51 00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:02,267 Fleeing the scene and resisting an officer? You're asking for it. 52 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,646 All we want is a little peace and quiet, Dibble. 53 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:11,784 You'll get it, all right. It's very quiet in solitary confinement. 54 00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:15,549 Interruptions. 55 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:20,284 If it ain't Dibble, it's something else. Hello? Who? 56 00:04:20,895 --> 00:04:24,797 Look, I'm in a bit of a hurry. Will you call back later, Mac? 57 00:04:24,899 --> 00:04:27,459 Hi, Dibble. Here's a call for you. 58 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:31,527 Part of my personal services to a great guy. I hope you appreciate it. 59 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,130 -Give me that phone. -It's all yours, Dibble. 60 00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:39,043 I'll take care of you later, wise guy. Hello, Sergeant, Dibble speaking. 61 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:40,808 That's gratitude for you. 62 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:43,645 I gotta remember not to send him any more birthday cards. 63 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:47,881 I'm on special assignment to guard the Maharajah of Pookajee? 64 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:53,486 I guess he can use some police protection with all the jewels he carries. 65 00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:58,522 -What time is he arriving? -Oh, yeah. What time is he arriving? 66 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,427 I got you, Sarge. So long. 67 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,032 What'd he say? 68 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:11,376 -Listening in on official business? -Well, not exactly, Officer. 69 00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:16,446 It's just that as a citizen concerned with international goodwill... 70 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:20,009 I was interested in the Maharajah's visit to our fair city. 71 00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:21,577 You were, were you? 72 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:26,285 After all, how often do we get an opportunity to mingle with royalty? 73 00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:29,994 You can bet you won't be mingling with no royalty... 74 00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:34,830 because I'm gonna be there to keep all finagling freeloaders away. 75 00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:36,563 And that means you. 76 00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:41,074 And another thing, Top Cat. If I ever catch you using that phone again... 77 00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:44,167 it's a free ride in the paddy wagon for you. 78 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:45,773 Get me? 79 00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:49,273 He really does that well, doesn't he? 80 00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:53,877 Dibble, the image you portray: incorruptible virtue. 81 00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:56,548 The picture of a true guardian of the people. 82 00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:58,682 If they don't give you a promotion soon... 83 00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:01,853 the least they can give you is an Academy Award, Dibble. 84 00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:05,524 But they won't. You know why? Because they're jealous. 85 00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:07,566 Gregory Peck should be grateful... 86 00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:11,126 that you have chosen the profession of civil servant instead of acting. 87 00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:13,935 Why, he'd be starving today. 88 00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:18,878 All right, knock it off. And remember what I told you. 89 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:23,473 I don't want to catch you hanging around the Sherry Plaza Hotel. 90 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:28,678 -Got it? -Yeah, Dibble, I got it. And thanks, buddy. 91 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:36,225 T.C., Officer Dibble was awfully mad. 92 00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:39,332 I guess we can't get to see that maharajah. 93 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,562 Nonsense, my boy. How's he gonna stop us? 94 00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:45,002 Remember, I've been using my brain for years. 95 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,540 Officer Dibble's is still practically brand-new. 96 00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:51,874 I want you to round up the boys, Benny, 'cause we're having a meeting. 97 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,208 And that's the story, fellows. 98 00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:59,650 This maharajah is so rich, he gives away rubies instead of money. 99 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:03,588 And as long as he's giving them away, he might as well give them to us, right? 100 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:06,558 Remember, this is strictly a volunteer action. 101 00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:10,586 Anyone who doesn't wish to become a millionaire in 24 hours... 102 00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:13,326 may leave right now. Any questions? 103 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:18,061 How will I know if he gives me a ruby? I never saw a ruby before. 104 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:21,733 That's a good question, Benny. It shows you're thinking. Thinking, boy! 105 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:24,141 Just take whatever he gives you. Don't argue. 106 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:27,237 If he runs out of rubies, maybe he'll give you some emeralds. 107 00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:29,646 I think maharajahs use them for small change. 108 00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,741 Oh, boy, emeralds! 109 00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:34,950 People will be coming in from all over to get in on this. 110 00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,456 So when we get down to the hotel, spread out. 111 00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:39,219 You see a line forming, get on it. 112 00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:42,387 That way, we're covered. We ought to come out with something. 113 00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:44,260 -Right, Top Cat. -Right. 114 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:45,662 Yeah, right. 115 00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:52,236 There it is, men. Our gateway to gracious living. 116 00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:56,299 One ruby, and we can live there for a year. Now we gotta move fast, men. 117 00:07:56,410 --> 00:08:00,471 Me and Benny will go in the front door. Fancy and Spook, take the side entrance. 118 00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:01,741 Like, got you, T.C. 119 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,908 Choo Choo and Brain, you take the rear door. 120 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,646 -Right. Rear door. -Any questions? 121 00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:09,916 Where do we take the rear door to, T.C.? 122 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:13,686 Where does he take the.... You don't take it anywhere, bubblehead. 123 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:18,220 You just go in. And if you see a maharajah, just hold out your hand. Now let's go. 124 00:08:20,234 --> 00:08:24,102 Remember, Benny, we don't have to be too greedy. One ruby should do it. 125 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,565 Officer Dibble. 126 00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:31,076 I thought I told you I didn't want you hanging around this hotel! 127 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:35,342 Benny, that's what I like about Dibble. He remembers. 128 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:39,783 Dibble, the Maharajah should be proud knowing he has you to protect him. 129 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:43,812 Anybody else would be inside with his hand out, but not you. 130 00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:48,691 Here you stand, staunch and vigilant, too modest to speak for yourself. 131 00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:53,562 Content in the virtue of your integrity. Steely-eyed, like an eagle. 132 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:58,128 Not giving a thought to the legendary generosity of this Indian prince. 133 00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:02,968 Unwilling to compromise between avarice and pride in your work. 134 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,980 Come, Benny. We must tell the Maharajah about Officer Dibble. 135 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,742 After all, how often do we get an opportunity... 136 00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:12,751 to do something for someone we really like? 137 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,615 -Top Cat? -Yeah, Dibble? 138 00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:16,815 Out. 139 00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:21,287 -And stay out! -Oh, boy. 140 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:28,064 -T.C., what will we do now? -I'm thinking. 141 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:31,400 I guess they only let maharajahs in the hotel today? 142 00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:32,631 Yeah. 143 00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:38,469 That's it, Choo Choo. You just gave me an idea. 144 00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:41,480 -No kidding. I did? -Yeah. I'll tell you what you do. 145 00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,176 Run down to the dime store and get me a lot of beads. 146 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:47,345 You know, those glass beads? The rest of you, into that truck. 147 00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:50,447 Mingle with the laundry, and pick out something in your size. 148 00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:54,358 Sheets, towels, anything. We're all gonna be maharajahs. 149 00:09:56,930 --> 00:10:01,264 Boy, I'm gonna like this. I never was a maharajah before. 150 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:07,162 Top Cat, I got the glass beads. What do you want them for? 151 00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:11,735 I'm a big tipper, that's why. Wrap a towel around your head, Benny. 152 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:14,905 Is it all right to wear a Turkish towel if I'm an Indian? 153 00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:18,418 Sure, Dibble won't know. The closest he's ever come to royalty... 154 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:21,648 was once when he had a pair of kings playing poker. 155 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:24,919 All right, group, we're all set. 156 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:27,927 Remember to keep your mouths shut. I'll do all the talking. 157 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,587 Follow me, men. 158 00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:33,860 Faster. 159 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,637 It's the Maharajah. 160 00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:48,039 What a distinguished-looking guy. 161 00:10:49,383 --> 00:10:51,248 Okay, we got past Dibble. 162 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,185 If you see a line, get on it and stick your hand out. 163 00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:56,449 Maharajah! Your Excellency! 164 00:10:56,556 --> 00:11:00,117 A thousand pardons, but we did not expect you so soon. 165 00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:05,397 That's funny, T.C. That guy thinks you're a real maharajah. 166 00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:09,993 We received your telegram, but you did not specify the time of arrival. 167 00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:13,198 I didn't? Boy, I gotta take advantage of this. 168 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,264 Did you send a wire, slave? 169 00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:19,635 Who, me? Honest, I didn't send any wire, Top-- 170 00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:22,181 Quiet, slave. I'll deal with you later. 171 00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:27,083 Five million subjects to choose from, and I had to pick this for my secretary. 172 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:30,982 Now look what you've done. They're not expecting us for another week. 173 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:35,688 Oh, how awkward. Now we'll have to find another hotel. 174 00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:40,727 Another hotel? No. You misunderstand, Your Highness. 175 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:45,328 -Your suite is ready. -Suite? Did you say our suite is ready? 176 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,305 Certainly, Highness. 177 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,832 Front! The Maharajah's bags. Quick. 178 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:54,471 The bags. They'll be here later. 179 00:11:55,649 --> 00:12:00,052 My, what excellent service! Slave, rubies. 180 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:03,013 The beads, the glass beads. 181 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:07,184 Yeah, I got them. Here you are, Your Royal Highness. 182 00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:08,625 Thanks, slave. 183 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:14,299 I hope you guys don't mind rubies. I never remember to carry cash. 184 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,434 Rubies! 185 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,196 -I got them ! -They're mine! 186 00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:26,177 Stop it, I say. This is a respectable hotel. Please try to remember that! 187 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,271 Yes, sir. We will, sir. 188 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,976 Will you forgive the commotion, Your Highness? 189 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,953 Very well, if you insist. Come on, gang. 190 00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:41,659 -Going up, please. -Oh, boy, rubies! They're mine! 191 00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:46,890 -No, they're not! -Come on, let go! I want them ! 192 00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:56,498 -Boy, this is some layout, T.C. -Yeah, like, it's cool. 193 00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:59,374 I never seen anything like this before. 194 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,207 You can, like, say that again, you know? 195 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:07,117 -I said gracious living, right? -That's what you said. 196 00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:10,281 Anything we want, the manager said. 197 00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:13,656 That means unlimited credit. We can live like kings. 198 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:17,924 But, T.C., what are we gonna do if the real maharajah comes along? 199 00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:20,523 The real maharajah? Bite your tongue, Benny. 200 00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:24,070 You saw the telegram, didn't you? He's not expected for another week. 201 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,764 So let's live, live, live! 202 00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:29,331 But, T.C., what if the hotel manager finds out? 203 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:32,042 Yeah, baby, like, what happens then, you know? 204 00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:35,912 Do I hear voices of discontent after we have it made? 205 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:39,816 The classiest hotel in town insists we be their guests. 206 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:44,721 They fix us up this $200-a-day suite for us. They insist on feeding us. 207 00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:47,754 -Feeding us? -Yeah, look at this menu. 208 00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:52,764 Lobster thermidor, pheasant under glass, oysters Rockefeller, steak. 209 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,727 -Did you say "steak"? -With mushroom sauce, yet. 210 00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:59,231 Mushroom sauce yet. Where? 211 00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:04,806 -Any of you guys ever had Baked Alaska? -I never even had it raw. 212 00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:09,979 -Does it really say "wild strawberries"? -And, like, 6-inch-thick steaks? 213 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:14,043 Hello, Room Service? This is the Maharajah of Pookajee. 214 00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:18,316 -Room Service! -What took you so long? 215 00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,757 Never mind. Send up everything on the menu... 216 00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:23,387 and charge it to the manager with my compliments. 217 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:27,229 Here's a little something for your trouble, fellows. Keep the change. 218 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:31,702 -Wow, look at the size of that ruby! -It's mine. 219 00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:34,501 -Oh, yeah? He gave it to me. -He gave it to me! 220 00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:37,903 It's every man for himself! 221 00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,111 Front! 222 00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:50,655 Back, front. Back! 223 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,424 -I got it! -My foot, you do! 224 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:57,054 -Order! -Give me my ruby! 225 00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:59,758 -It's mine! -Help! 226 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,570 Remember, that maharajah's loaded. 227 00:15:09,643 --> 00:15:12,703 We go in, heist the jewels, and scram. Got it? 228 00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:16,442 Yeah, boss. But what do we do first: scram, or heist the jewels? 229 00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:20,878 Never mind. Just do what I tell you. 230 00:15:21,555 --> 00:15:24,854 Oh, boy. Wild strawberries with whipped cream. 231 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,025 This is really living. 232 00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,727 T.C., somebody's at the door. 233 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:33,264 Well, open it. That's probably Room Service. 234 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:36,359 That's how they work in a classy joint. Fast. 235 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,699 Hi, fellows. Did you bring the food? 236 00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:42,400 -Food? -No, we brought something else. 237 00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:43,908 Yeah? What? 238 00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:45,571 This. 239 00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,845 Tell them to put it on a table, Benny. 240 00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:51,884 And don't wait for us. You must be starved. 241 00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:54,377 -Not anymore. -Why not? 242 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,612 I just lost my appetite. 243 00:15:56,690 --> 00:16:00,091 Don't tell me they got the order wrong. I'll just.... 244 00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,519 You the Maharajah? 245 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:07,259 I'm sorry, but we're awfully busy right now. No time for autographs. 246 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,097 This is a stickup. 247 00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:12,796 Yeah, a heist. We want all the rubies you got, pal. 248 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:17,069 You want the rubies? This is like the Peter Pistol program. 249 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:20,840 -You're not Peter Pistol, are you? -Who, me? 250 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:24,911 Of course you are! That steely glint in your eyes... 251 00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:29,752 -that strong jaw. You are Peter Pistol. -No, I'm not. My name is Spike. 252 00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:33,257 You're joking. I know you must be Peter Pistol. 253 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,624 I'll leave it to my servant here. Slave? 254 00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:39,825 Look at this handsome man. What do you see? Peter Pistol, right? 255 00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:43,665 I don't see Peter Pistol, but I see a pistol all right. 256 00:16:43,737 --> 00:16:45,830 See, what did I tell you? 257 00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:50,265 And you. Don't tell me. 258 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:55,042 You must be the star of that TV program Have Gun, Will Shoot. 259 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:59,551 Wrong. This program ain't on TV. It's coming in live. 260 00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:03,152 We ain't got all day, so make with the rubies. 261 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:07,353 Yes, the rubies. Well, I don't know. As a rule, it's my habit... 262 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:11,453 to give away "rubbies," I mean rubies, to those who do me a favor. 263 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:15,797 Then that's me, pal, on account of I'm doing you a real big favor... 264 00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:20,769 by not blowing your head off. Quit stalling and hand over the loot. 265 00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:25,877 What a pity. It hardly seems worth the trouble you gentlemen have gone to. 266 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:29,441 Hardly even $100,000 worth. 267 00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:32,610 You must order some more tomorrow, slave. 268 00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:36,185 -Yes, sir. -I mean, how would it look in the papers? 269 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:39,589 Here I am, one of the wealthiest maharajahs in the world... 270 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:43,059 and to be robbed of such a paltry sum is disgraceful. 271 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:46,960 Promise me you won't tell. I'll be sure to have some more tomorrow. 272 00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:49,729 Do you gentlemen think you can come back tomorrow? 273 00:17:49,803 --> 00:17:52,897 I don't know, Your Majesty. It's up to the boss here. 274 00:17:53,006 --> 00:17:57,238 -He's the brains of this operation. -lf you don't mind this little bit? 275 00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:01,275 No, that's okay. And thanks, Your Majesty. 276 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:04,817 Say, are you sure you're not Peter Pistol? 277 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:09,150 -Honest, I ain't. He's a little taller. -Knock it off and let's get going. 278 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:15,119 Gosh, they got away with all our rubies. 279 00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:19,655 They were only glass beads, Benny. Okay, you guys, you can come out now. 280 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:24,532 -Nice going, T.C. -All in a day's work, boys. 281 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:27,266 Benny, run down to the dime store. Get some more beads. 282 00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,365 We'll need them when our dinners get here. 283 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,807 Okay, T.C. 284 00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:41,016 I beg your pardon. I'm from Finchley, Finchley, and Finchley Jewelers. 285 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:44,085 The Maharajah of Pookajee has requested us... 286 00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:48,992 to bring some of our most precious gems for his collection. Is the Maharajah in? 287 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:53,429 Yes, but he's having lunch now. I wouldn't want to disturb him. 288 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:57,798 But there's one of his servants. Perhaps you can give the jewels to him. 289 00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,633 -Hey, you. -Who, me? 290 00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:03,698 -Yes. This gentleman wants to see you. -Okay. 291 00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:08,240 Take these jewels to your master. He's expecting them. 292 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:13,816 T.C. was right. You sure do get good service in this hotel. 293 00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:19,820 -T.C., I got them. I got the beads. -Good boy. 294 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:22,154 I got some real nice ones this time. 295 00:19:22,228 --> 00:19:25,254 Maybe I ought to give one to Officer Dibble just for laughs. 296 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,458 He'd think he got a fortune. 297 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:32,132 Take a look out the window, Benny. See what's going on. 298 00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:35,732 All I see is a limousine and a bunch of motorcycle cops. 299 00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:39,870 They're stopping here at the hotel. 300 00:19:40,113 --> 00:19:42,581 Probably our Rockefeller oysters arriving. 301 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,777 Choo Choo, go downstairs and see that they get here right away. 302 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:50,084 I'm starved. Go like the wind, boy. Go, Mercury, fly. 303 00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:54,582 Your slightest wish is my command, O My Highness. 304 00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,058 Hasten, make ready. 305 00:19:59,132 --> 00:20:02,727 The Maharajah of Pookajee arrives this very moment. 306 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:08,140 Why, the Maharajah is already here. He arrived not an hour ago. 307 00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:11,407 Sam. You, at the desk. 308 00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:14,674 Where are those oysters? The Maharajah's getting very impatient. 309 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:17,238 See? That is one of his servants. 310 00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:21,913 Imposter! He's a fake! The real maharajah is waiting outside. 311 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:25,691 Holy mackerel! Wait till T.C. hears this. 312 00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:33,932 That's the worst. That's the Maharajah down there. The real one. 313 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,764 The real one? I knew this was too good to last. 314 00:20:36,870 --> 00:20:40,169 All right, everybody, scramble. Everybody out. 315 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:45,641 -How do we get out? What do we do? -Do what I do. Use the emergency exit. 316 00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:49,944 Everybody down the laundry chute. We'll scatter and meet down by the docks. 317 00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:58,320 Why, it's the Maharajah. 318 00:20:58,892 --> 00:21:01,452 Excuse me, sir. I didn't see you coming. 319 00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:04,690 Quite all right, Officer. Now if you'll excuse me. 320 00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:08,926 Just a minute, Your Majesty. You dropped your jewels. 321 00:21:09,903 --> 00:21:11,234 Oh, yeah, jewels. 322 00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:14,569 You keep them, Officer. You've done such a splendid job. 323 00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:16,802 Splendid, boy! 324 00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:19,305 Gosh, thanks. 325 00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:23,306 Wow, wait till I tell the wife about this. 326 00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:29,112 Everything is ready, sir. They're expecting you inside. 327 00:21:29,222 --> 00:21:31,417 They are, are they? 328 00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:35,421 Those autograph hounds aren't going to catch me. 329 00:21:35,728 --> 00:21:38,094 I'm going in the side entrance. 330 00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:45,704 Oh, no, not another one. 331 00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:48,673 The joint's jumping with maharajahs all of a sudden. 332 00:21:48,741 --> 00:21:52,871 Let's get your hat on straight. You got a better chance of looking like one. 333 00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:55,345 -Thank you kindly, sir. -Forget it. 334 00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:58,009 I can tell you one thing. You're wasting your time. 335 00:21:58,084 --> 00:22:00,348 The real maharajah just showed up. 336 00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:03,014 -Here, my good man. -What's this? 337 00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:07,218 Some rubies for you. I always reward kindness with rubies. 338 00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,727 Oh, brother, he's got that line down pat. 339 00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:13,197 Well, so long, and arrivederci to you, kiddo. 340 00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:17,159 Here he comes now! Hi, Top Cat! 341 00:22:19,305 --> 00:22:22,706 How do you like that? Rubies. That guy's using my racket. 342 00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:26,768 -Yeah, everybody's getting into the act. -Who needs this junk? 343 00:22:32,118 --> 00:22:36,248 Let's see, maybe I can still work this combination and make $50. 344 00:22:38,157 --> 00:22:39,624 Hi, Top Cat. 345 00:22:39,892 --> 00:22:41,792 Well, it's Officer Dibble. 346 00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:44,863 I just dropped by to say goodbye to you guys. 347 00:22:44,931 --> 00:22:47,024 Goodbye? Where are you going? 348 00:22:47,133 --> 00:22:49,795 Why aren't you in uniform? What happened? 349 00:22:49,902 --> 00:22:53,235 Me and the wife are taking a trip for a couple of weeks. 350 00:22:53,306 --> 00:22:57,834 A trip? Officer Dibble, sir, don't tell me... 351 00:22:57,910 --> 00:23:00,708 you got a horse running and never told me. 352 00:23:00,780 --> 00:23:02,247 A horse? No. 353 00:23:02,315 --> 00:23:05,842 I bumped into that maharajah and I guess he appreciated... 354 00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:10,651 the police protection I gave him, because he gave me a bag full of rubies. 355 00:23:11,090 --> 00:23:15,288 -Rubies. They were glass beads. -Glass beads? 356 00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:18,726 Okay, have it your way. 357 00:23:19,098 --> 00:23:22,261 You say glass beads, I say rubies. 358 00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:25,397 So long, Top Cat. 359 00:23:27,173 --> 00:23:30,768 How did that happen? I must have goofed someplace. 360 00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:33,778 T.C., you wanna hear something funny? 361 00:23:33,946 --> 00:23:37,177 Remember that little guy you bumped into at the hotel? 362 00:23:37,250 --> 00:23:40,583 Here's his picture in the paper. He's the real maharajah. 363 00:23:41,054 --> 00:23:43,488 -The real maharajah? -Yeah, look. 364 00:23:45,358 --> 00:23:49,158 "The Maharajah of Pookajee arrives at hotel today. 365 00:23:50,496 --> 00:23:53,727 "Eccentric millionaire reported giving away fortune in rubies." 366 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:55,097 How do you like that? 367 00:23:55,168 --> 00:23:58,899 I thought he was a phony operator, and it turns out he's the real thing. 368 00:23:58,971 --> 00:24:01,838 He even gives me a whole bag of rubies, and what do I do? 369 00:24:01,908 --> 00:24:05,674 I chuck them in the ocean. Wait a minute, what am I saying? 370 00:24:05,745 --> 00:24:08,908 Here we are talking while some poor fish is getting rich. 371 00:24:08,981 --> 00:24:13,247 Quick, get the gang. Bring aqualungs, flippers, snorkels. Get a boat. 372 00:24:13,319 --> 00:24:15,617 Get going. Move it, boy! 373 00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:23,091 A little more to the left, Choo Choo. You see anything? 374 00:24:23,596 --> 00:24:26,224 Spook, you look under those rocks. 375 00:24:26,299 --> 00:24:31,066 Brain, go deeper. No, to your left. No, to your right! 376 00:24:31,604 --> 00:24:34,038 Back this way. This is ridiculous. 377 00:24:34,107 --> 00:24:37,201 What am I doing, sending children out to do a man's job? 378 00:24:37,276 --> 00:24:40,575 Here, Benny, hold my hat. Geronimo! 379 00:24:43,149 --> 00:24:46,949 Now why did he do that? He knows he can't swim. 32914

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