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1
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Sync and Corrections by APOLLO
www.addic7ed.com
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00:00:32,990 --> 00:00:34,429
Come on in then, Hubble.
3
00:00:34,430 --> 00:00:35,829
Thank you.
4
00:00:35,830 --> 00:00:39,057
So, still enjoying hotel life
are you, sir?
5
00:00:39,089 --> 00:00:42,349
No, but until I can convince
Mrs Whittington
6
00:00:42,350 --> 00:00:46,269
that I'm not having an affair,
I'm stuck with it. Oh.
7
00:00:46,270 --> 00:00:49,829
Well, sir, I took the liberty of
popping round to see Mrs W.
8
00:00:49,830 --> 00:00:53,149
See if I could pour some cold water
on the old matrimonial fire,
9
00:00:53,150 --> 00:00:54,429
as it were.
10
00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:55,829
You did what?!
11
00:00:55,830 --> 00:00:59,949
Well, we had a bit of a, you know,
heart to heart
12
00:00:59,950 --> 00:01:07,109
about the situation and she says
that she finds you a bit cold.
13
00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:08,629
She went on to say,
14
00:01:08,630 --> 00:01:13,469
"Increasingly distant with rather
domineering tendencies."
15
00:01:13,470 --> 00:01:14,789
Hubble! Yes, sir?
16
00:01:14,790 --> 00:01:18,909
You are never to visit my wife
again. Do you understand?
17
00:01:18,910 --> 00:01:20,829
Now, look, we've got a lot to do.
18
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,589
The Palace has requested
19
00:01:22,590 --> 00:01:26,789
that we take over the Princess's
security arrangements for tonight.
20
00:01:26,790 --> 00:01:28,750
She's attending a friend's hen night,
21
00:01:28,751 --> 00:01:32,429
and three of her security team
have food poisoning. Oh, right, sir.
22
00:01:32,430 --> 00:01:35,109
The main event will be
held at a hotel in Okehampton.
23
00:01:35,110 --> 00:01:36,869
Okehampton in Yorkshire, I know.
24
00:01:36,870 --> 00:01:39,269
It's in Devon. That's the one.
25
00:01:39,270 --> 00:01:40,670
Room service.
26
00:01:42,710 --> 00:01:44,829
Ah, good morning. Thank you.
27
00:01:44,830 --> 00:01:47,469
Put it on the bed, please.
28
00:01:47,470 --> 00:01:50,629
Have all the hen-nighters been
checked for security, sir?
29
00:01:50,630 --> 00:01:52,590
Yes, and the hotel has been surveyed.
30
00:01:52,591 --> 00:01:54,590
I'll be joining you later in the
evening
31
00:01:54,591 --> 00:01:56,749
but until I get there,
you will be in charge.
32
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:59,749
Yes, sir. You've come to
the right man for the job, there.
33
00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:03,510
360 degree awareness, that's me.
34
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:07,109
As I always say, sir.
35
00:02:07,110 --> 00:02:08,629
It's not what you know,
36
00:02:08,630 --> 00:02:13,269
it's what you don't know, you don't
know is... what we need to know.
37
00:02:13,270 --> 00:02:15,949
No wait a minute. Let me see.
38
00:02:15,950 --> 00:02:17,709
It's not what you know,
39
00:02:17,710 --> 00:02:21,269
it's what you don't know is
what you need to know.
40
00:02:21,270 --> 00:02:24,229
Hubble, Hubble!
Will you get out of my bathroom?
41
00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:26,430
Sorry, sir, I'm sorry.
42
00:02:28,310 --> 00:02:33,269
Ah, I think I've got it now, sir,
it's not what we know...
43
00:02:33,270 --> 00:02:35,109
Is there something wrong, sir?
44
00:02:35,110 --> 00:02:39,549
You trod on my toe with those great
clodhoppers of yours. Sorry, sir.
45
00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:43,510
Just sit down and stop roaming about,
will you? Yes, sir.
46
00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:55,909
Now, ordinarily, the princess
wouldn't accept a security detail
47
00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:59,069
but ever since that paint attack
on her horsebox,
48
00:02:59,070 --> 00:03:02,629
Her Majesty's very keen that security
is increased for her.
49
00:03:02,630 --> 00:03:04,829
Her granddaughter, well,
50
00:03:04,830 --> 00:03:08,790
underestimates
the possible threat to her...
51
00:03:14,990 --> 00:03:17,070
What are you doing?
52
00:03:19,470 --> 00:03:21,310
Sorry, I sat in your breakfast, sir.
53
00:03:21,311 --> 00:03:22,709
What?
54
00:03:22,710 --> 00:03:25,869
It's lucky
the eggs were already scrambled
55
00:03:25,870 --> 00:03:30,829
but I'm afraid I've, sort of,
squashed your sausage, sir.
56
00:03:30,830 --> 00:03:32,869
No, it's all right, sir. It's fine.
57
00:03:32,870 --> 00:03:34,949
The bacon is perfectly all right.
58
00:03:34,950 --> 00:03:37,949
I'm not eating that now.
59
00:03:37,950 --> 00:03:39,749
You've just sat on it!
60
00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:44,509
I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll get
on the phone to room service
61
00:03:44,510 --> 00:03:47,309
and I'll get you another
full breakfast, shall I, sir?
62
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:50,189
Hubble... Yes, sir
63
00:03:50,190 --> 00:03:53,870
Just put your trousers on and go.
64
00:04:00,870 --> 00:04:03,189
It's your black pudding, sir.
65
00:04:03,190 --> 00:04:04,430
I'll go.
66
00:04:10,430 --> 00:04:11,910
Yates, where are you?
67
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:17,149
Yates? Yates? Come in, over.
68
00:04:17,150 --> 00:04:21,310
I'm going to go in and check that
everything is AOK. Over.
69
00:04:26,190 --> 00:04:29,029
LOUD MUSIC
70
00:04:29,030 --> 00:04:30,670
CHEERING
71
00:04:32,950 --> 00:04:35,550
CHANTING: OFF, OFF, OFF!
72
00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:56,150
Ah, ah!
73
00:05:06,310 --> 00:05:08,470
Watch your step, guys.
74
00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:13,390
Ooh!
75
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:36,229
Ah, go and find Yates and inspect
the roof, will you?
76
00:05:36,230 --> 00:05:37,589
The roof?
77
00:05:37,590 --> 00:05:41,149
Yes. This thing nearly crushed me,
it's a security risk.
78
00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:43,829
Sorry, it's not really my area.
79
00:05:43,830 --> 00:05:45,749
Well, it is now.
80
00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:50,109
You've got a bit of an attitude
problem, young man.
81
00:05:50,110 --> 00:05:52,389
Don't you know who I am?
82
00:05:52,390 --> 00:05:53,990
No.
83
00:05:55,950 --> 00:06:00,829
I am Captain Guy Hubble,
Royal Bodyguard.
84
00:06:00,830 --> 00:06:01,989
Oh.
85
00:06:01,990 --> 00:06:03,029
And you are?
86
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,630
Constable Truncheon.
87
00:06:06,070 --> 00:06:07,109
What?
88
00:06:07,110 --> 00:06:10,030
I'm the strippergram,
for the hen night.
89
00:06:11,510 --> 00:06:14,470
Oh, right. Yes.
Yes, of course you are.
90
00:06:16,470 --> 00:06:20,110
Anyway, I still need to inspect
your bag. You know, for security.
91
00:06:21,910 --> 00:06:25,229
Ah, Yates, I've been trying to
get hold of you.
92
00:06:25,230 --> 00:06:29,469
Have you been using channel two?
Yes, of course I have.
93
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:33,589
Have all the necessary background
checks been made on, um...
94
00:06:33,590 --> 00:06:35,069
Constable Truncheon.
95
00:06:35,070 --> 00:06:36,589
Constable Truncheon? Yes.
96
00:06:36,590 --> 00:06:38,469
Good. OK, fine.
97
00:06:38,470 --> 00:06:41,589
Ah, well, I'll just check his bag.
98
00:06:41,590 --> 00:06:44,509
Oh, you're a bit of a fireman
as well, are you?
99
00:06:44,510 --> 00:06:46,590
They're very popular.
100
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,430
And, um?
101
00:06:50,430 --> 00:06:52,190
Tarzan.
102
00:06:54,670 --> 00:06:58,549
Right. That's all in order.
Nothing else is in there, is there?
103
00:06:58,550 --> 00:07:02,269
How much longer is this
racket going on?
104
00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:04,189
The party is due to finish at one.
105
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:07,269
My wife and I wanted a quiet break
away and instead we get this!
106
00:07:07,270 --> 00:07:10,229
I'm sorry,
I don't know what else to say.
107
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,469
Are you the manager? Yes.
108
00:07:12,470 --> 00:07:14,229
This thing nearly hit me.
109
00:07:14,230 --> 00:07:16,789
More to the point,
it could have hit the princess.
110
00:07:16,790 --> 00:07:21,149
Right. You do know you've got
shaving foam all over your chest.
111
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:23,350
I do know that I've got shaving foam...
All right.
112
00:07:23,351 --> 00:07:25,550
Come along, I want
to inspect the roof.
113
00:07:33,830 --> 00:07:36,989
Apparently,
there's a skylight up here
114
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:39,789
that leads directly onto the roof.
115
00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:42,349
That means that somebody could have
come up here
116
00:07:42,350 --> 00:07:46,109
and pushed that gargoyle off.
I can't see that.
117
00:07:46,110 --> 00:07:51,149
Well, that's why I'm
the Royal Bodyguard and you're not.
118
00:07:51,150 --> 00:07:54,549
"Better safe than sorry" -
that's my motto.
119
00:07:54,550 --> 00:07:58,189
And as it happens,
Her Majesty thinks the same.
120
00:07:58,190 --> 00:07:59,469
Here we go.
121
00:07:59,470 --> 00:08:03,189
Actually, Her Majesty and I
have a lot in common.
122
00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:06,190
We often natter together
about all sorts of things.
123
00:08:07,710 --> 00:08:10,509
Ah, now, she doesn't like that.
124
00:08:10,510 --> 00:08:13,069
What? People around her chewing gum.
125
00:08:13,070 --> 00:08:15,349
Nicotine replacement,
I'm trying to give up.
126
00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:17,549
What, smoking?
I didn't know you'd started.
127
00:08:17,550 --> 00:08:19,430
Yes, I started
on Monday June the 9th.
128
00:08:19,431 --> 00:08:23,229
Did you? June the 9th.
Isn't that a coincidence?
129
00:08:23,230 --> 00:08:26,029
That's the same day
I joined the department.
130
00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:29,309
Yeah, I think it was because
I really had my heart set on a job
131
00:08:29,310 --> 00:08:32,309
and then from nowhere
somebody just...
132
00:08:32,310 --> 00:08:35,429
waltzed in and took it from
under my nose.
133
00:08:35,430 --> 00:08:37,390
Oh, really? Do I know him?
134
00:08:38,710 --> 00:08:40,349
What?
135
00:08:40,350 --> 00:08:43,269
Do I know this person who waltzed in
and took your job?
136
00:08:43,270 --> 00:08:47,429
Yes, you do. And do you know
what makes things worse?
137
00:08:47,430 --> 00:08:50,709
He's a total muppet
who's completely out of his depth
138
00:08:50,710 --> 00:08:53,389
and just an embarrassment
to the service.
139
00:08:53,390 --> 00:08:55,989
You're talking about Bennet,
aren't you?
140
00:08:55,990 --> 00:08:59,509
Oh, dear God. Where are you going?
I'm going to have a cigarette.
141
00:08:59,510 --> 00:09:02,349
I thought you just had one
of those chewing gum things.
142
00:09:02,350 --> 00:09:05,149
It's not enough!
143
00:09:05,150 --> 00:09:08,509
Well, call in on the Princess
while you're there, will you?
144
00:09:08,510 --> 00:09:10,349
Ah. There you are. Right.
145
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,789
Right, good. OK.
146
00:09:11,790 --> 00:09:13,269
Please, be careful.
147
00:09:13,270 --> 00:09:14,950
"Be careful," honestly.
148
00:09:16,350 --> 00:09:20,710
I know what I'm doing. I've done all
this sort of thing many times.
149
00:09:24,590 --> 00:09:26,069
CRASHING
150
00:09:26,070 --> 00:09:27,750
Agh!
151
00:09:39,030 --> 00:09:42,309
Ah, hello there.
152
00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:47,109
Um... well,
I'll leave you two to it, shall I?
153
00:09:47,110 --> 00:09:49,430
I expect you want to be alone.
154
00:09:55,390 --> 00:09:57,670
Those joists are rotten up there.
155
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,549
She's gone.
156
00:10:04,550 --> 00:10:06,709
What?
The princess, she's gone.
157
00:10:06,710 --> 00:10:09,070
What do you mean?
She's gone off with some mates.
158
00:10:09,071 --> 00:10:12,029
Well, where's she gone?!
I don't know!
159
00:10:12,030 --> 00:10:13,910
You go and interview the
hen nighters
160
00:10:13,911 --> 00:10:15,989
and see if anyone knows
where she's gone.
161
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,350
I'll phone Devon and Cornwall Police
for back up.
162
00:10:28,310 --> 00:10:29,789
Everything OK, Hubble?
163
00:10:29,790 --> 00:10:32,109
We're organising a search party,
sir.
164
00:10:32,110 --> 00:10:33,149
What?
165
00:10:33,150 --> 00:10:37,029
Hello, yes, this is Guy Hubble,
Royal Bodyguard.
166
00:10:37,030 --> 00:10:38,950
I want to organise 20
police officers and
167
00:10:38,951 --> 00:10:40,869
a couple of dogs for
a search party.
168
00:10:40,870 --> 00:10:43,269
Hubble, what's going on?
169
00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:46,509
Yes, I want it straightaway.
Thank you.
170
00:10:46,510 --> 00:10:50,869
Well, sir. It seems that the
princess has...
171
00:10:50,870 --> 00:10:52,349
disappeared.
172
00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:54,189
What?! Yes, well,
173
00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:58,309
we're doing everything we can here
with the resources that we've got.
174
00:10:58,310 --> 00:11:01,909
How many officers do you have here
at the moment? Erm... one.
175
00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:03,349
Hello.
176
00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:04,910
Evening.
177
00:11:06,550 --> 00:11:08,789
What kind of operation
are you running here?
178
00:11:08,790 --> 00:11:10,829
What? No, sir, no.
179
00:11:10,830 --> 00:11:13,269
He's not the officer.
180
00:11:13,270 --> 00:11:17,269
He's the strippergram for
the hen night. Constable Truncheon.
181
00:11:17,270 --> 00:11:21,669
Of course I want to change rooms.
I'll sort this out right now.
182
00:11:21,670 --> 00:11:23,589
Are you in charge here? Yes.
183
00:11:23,590 --> 00:11:26,269
Not now. We're in the middle
of a security operation.
184
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:28,549
He just jumped into bed
with me and my wife.
185
00:11:28,550 --> 00:11:30,629
Sir, look,
I can explain that later on.
186
00:11:30,630 --> 00:11:33,229
The girls said the princess
went to Cherry Cottage,
187
00:11:33,230 --> 00:11:35,229
about two miles
outside of Cruttenden.
188
00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:37,829
I woke up and
he was lying on top of my wife!
189
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:38,990
I've found it, sir.
190
00:11:38,991 --> 00:11:41,909
Yes, here it is right on
the edge of the moor, sir.
191
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,829
This is why I prefer camping.
192
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:46,509
I tell you what.
193
00:11:46,510 --> 00:11:49,029
If we take this short cut
through the woods...
194
00:11:49,030 --> 00:11:51,709
Sir, I reckon we could be there
in 20 minutes.
195
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:55,069
It's thick fog and we don't know the
area, we should wait for back up.
196
00:11:55,070 --> 00:11:59,109
I've trekked across the Malayan
jungle, you know, without a map.
197
00:11:59,110 --> 00:12:02,429
I just think that time is of the
essence. All right, all right.
198
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:04,670
Yates, stay here.
When back up gets here,
199
00:12:04,671 --> 00:12:06,909
meet us at the cottage.
Come on, Hubble.
200
00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:08,670
Yes, sir.
201
00:12:14,030 --> 00:12:16,949
This is madness, I can't see a thing.
202
00:12:16,950 --> 00:12:20,109
Don't worry, sir.
My father taught me trekking.
203
00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:21,869
Do you remember my father, sir?
204
00:12:21,870 --> 00:12:24,509
How could I forget him?
He nearly killed Churchill.
205
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:27,669
Sir, look! Footprints.
206
00:12:27,670 --> 00:12:29,870
Yes.
207
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:32,669
Ours!
208
00:12:32,670 --> 00:12:36,069
For God's sake, Hubble, we've been
walking around in circles!
209
00:12:36,070 --> 00:12:40,189
Well, I'm sorry, sir, but I can't
make head nor tail of this map.
210
00:12:40,190 --> 00:12:43,190
Well, phone Yates,
see if back up's arrived.
211
00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,629
Can't get a signal. How about you?
212
00:12:48,630 --> 00:12:52,310
Nothing.
Do you have any idea where we are?
213
00:12:55,230 --> 00:12:56,310
No.
214
00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,589
And meanwhile,
the princess could be anywhere.
215
00:13:00,590 --> 00:13:04,549
Sir, whatever we do,
we must stick together.
216
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:08,429
God, help me. It's the main
principle of survival training, sir.
217
00:13:08,430 --> 00:13:11,829
Hubble, you're the last person
I need any help from.
218
00:13:11,830 --> 00:13:13,110
Sir!
219
00:13:21,070 --> 00:13:23,749
It's a fox trap.
220
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:25,909
Could have had your ankle clean off.
221
00:13:25,910 --> 00:13:27,309
Thank you, Hubble.
222
00:13:27,310 --> 00:13:30,709
If that had severed an artery
you'd have bled to death.
223
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,189
As I said, thank you.
224
00:13:32,190 --> 00:13:35,109
I would have had to drag
your corpse right across the moors.
225
00:13:35,110 --> 00:13:37,829
Can we just leave it, Hubble?
Yes. Yes, of course, sir.
226
00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:41,709
But I must insist
that we follow survival protocol.
227
00:13:41,710 --> 00:13:44,910
Which is?
We stay here until the fog lifts.
228
00:13:49,950 --> 00:13:54,229
I'm just going to hang my jacket
here on these twigs, sir.
229
00:13:54,230 --> 00:13:56,949
Act as a sort of windcheater.
230
00:13:56,950 --> 00:14:00,949
You know, got to try
and keep you warm, sir.
231
00:14:00,950 --> 00:14:03,589
You are the superior officer.
232
00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:05,189
Thank you, Hubble.
233
00:14:05,190 --> 00:14:09,229
We've been through quite a lot these
last few months haven't we, sir?
234
00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:11,030
We make a pretty good team.
235
00:14:12,950 --> 00:14:14,549
Are you cold, sir?
236
00:14:14,550 --> 00:14:16,349
Frozen.
237
00:14:16,350 --> 00:14:18,549
Well, there was one little tip
I learnt
238
00:14:18,550 --> 00:14:20,829
when we were on Arctic training,
sir.
239
00:14:20,830 --> 00:14:24,470
And that was to urinate
on each other to keep warm.
240
00:14:25,710 --> 00:14:27,429
I beg your pardon?
241
00:14:27,430 --> 00:14:30,270
Would you like me
to urinate upon you, sir?
242
00:14:34,670 --> 00:14:37,149
Maybe you'd just like to huddle.
243
00:14:37,150 --> 00:14:39,029
I'm not huddling with you, Hubble.
244
00:14:39,030 --> 00:14:41,790
It is a genuine survival technique,
sir.
245
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:53,309
If you breathe a word about this to
anyone...
246
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,590
I'll have you shot.
247
00:15:04,590 --> 00:15:06,590
Hubble! Get off!
248
00:15:08,190 --> 00:15:09,989
Oh, yes, sorry.
249
00:15:09,990 --> 00:15:11,390
Sorry, sir.
250
00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:15,629
Did you sleep well, sir?
No, I did not.
251
00:15:15,630 --> 00:15:17,590
Oh, I did. I slept like a baby.
252
00:15:20,070 --> 00:15:24,870
Oh, well, I think we ought to get
cracking, hey?
253
00:15:30,990 --> 00:15:34,909
If my bearings are right, sir,
254
00:15:34,910 --> 00:15:38,509
I think the cottage lies about
a mile in that direction.
255
00:15:38,510 --> 00:15:39,790
Morning!
256
00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:50,710
When back up arrived,
I just got a squad car there.
257
00:15:50,711 --> 00:15:52,749
The princess was a little worse
for wear,
258
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:57,110
nothing a good night's sleep won't
put right. I know how she feels.
259
00:15:58,830 --> 00:16:01,629
Right, are we ready to go, sir?
260
00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:03,429
Hubble, what are you wearing?
261
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,629
Ah, well, as you know,
262
00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:10,309
the princess's itinerary means
that she has to attend a hunt
263
00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:12,069
in Gloucestershire this morning.
264
00:16:12,070 --> 00:16:15,949
So, I thought that, you know,
I'd blend in.
265
00:16:15,950 --> 00:16:18,989
Hubble you're going nowhere,
I've just spoken to Sir Edward.
266
00:16:18,990 --> 00:16:23,269
He wants to see us ASAP at HQ to get
to the bottom of last night's fiasco.
267
00:16:23,270 --> 00:16:25,949
I don't think it's fair for you
to take the blame, sir.
268
00:16:25,950 --> 00:16:29,149
Well, of course I'm not going to take
all the blame. You are!
269
00:16:29,150 --> 00:16:33,629
Ah, you see, it's just that the
princess has asked me to drive her.
270
00:16:33,630 --> 00:16:36,149
What? No, I'll drive her.
271
00:16:36,150 --> 00:16:40,509
Sir, Her Majesty did ask me
to keep an eye on the princess.
272
00:16:40,510 --> 00:16:42,109
All right, Hubble, you drive
273
00:16:42,110 --> 00:16:45,190
but get out of those ridiculous
clothes right now.
274
00:16:46,790 --> 00:16:49,109
Amazing isn't it, sir?
275
00:16:49,110 --> 00:16:51,309
We spent the night out in the cold
276
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:55,349
and we were only 20 yards
away from the cottage.
277
00:16:55,350 --> 00:16:57,789
If we'd kept going as you suggested,
278
00:16:57,790 --> 00:17:00,149
we would have spent the night
in a warm cottage.
279
00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:04,990
I suppose that's why you're
the superior officer, sir.
280
00:17:07,590 --> 00:17:09,949
Slow down, Hubble. Yes.
281
00:17:09,950 --> 00:17:11,829
Hubble!
282
00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:15,469
I'm trying to, sir.
The brakes are not responding, sir.
283
00:17:15,470 --> 00:17:17,110
Hubble!
284
00:17:25,430 --> 00:17:27,390
Hubble!
285
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:32,869
Oh, morning, Dennis.
286
00:17:32,870 --> 00:17:34,269
Morning, sir.
287
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:38,669
I have the report of Hubble's
latest catalogue of mishaps.
288
00:17:38,670 --> 00:17:42,229
As you can see, I've recommended
instant dismissal
289
00:17:42,230 --> 00:17:45,509
on the grounds of complete
and utter incompetence.
290
00:17:45,510 --> 00:17:49,389
It just needs your authorisation
there, sir.
291
00:17:49,390 --> 00:17:54,149
We've had a test done on the car.
The brakes were tampered with.
292
00:17:54,150 --> 00:17:58,069
So? If you put that together with
the gargoyle incident,
293
00:17:58,070 --> 00:18:01,469
the obvious conclusion is these were
attempts to kill the princess.
294
00:18:01,470 --> 00:18:03,829
That is one conclusion I suppose.
295
00:18:03,830 --> 00:18:06,189
What other conclusion is there,
Dennis?
296
00:18:06,190 --> 00:18:09,589
The palace is very concerned
with these developments.
297
00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:12,309
We need to heighten
her security detail immediately.
298
00:18:12,310 --> 00:18:14,789
I've given Hubble
a couple of days leave.
299
00:18:14,790 --> 00:18:16,149
I told him to relax
300
00:18:16,150 --> 00:18:19,589
while we get to the bottom
of this thing with the princess.
301
00:18:19,590 --> 00:18:23,109
I still think dismissal
is the correct decision.
302
00:18:23,110 --> 00:18:25,030
Dennis, forget about Hubble.
303
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,510
I wish I could, sir.
304
00:19:12,870 --> 00:19:15,389
I think it's me
they're trying to kill, sir.
305
00:19:15,390 --> 00:19:17,789
Yes, yes. I read the report.
306
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:21,150
But why on earth would anyone want
you dead, Hubble?
307
00:19:22,270 --> 00:19:23,989
Well...
308
00:19:23,990 --> 00:19:27,269
I suppose they think that
if they can get me out of the way,
309
00:19:27,270 --> 00:19:29,589
they could get closer to
the Royal Family.
310
00:19:29,590 --> 00:19:32,869
There might be something in that.
What do you think, Dennis?
311
00:19:32,870 --> 00:19:36,429
Well, if there is someone hell-bent
on killing Hubble,
312
00:19:36,430 --> 00:19:40,989
the best way of finding the killer
is to allow Hubble to lead us to him.
313
00:19:40,990 --> 00:19:43,869
Yes, I like it, sir.
314
00:19:43,870 --> 00:19:46,189
It's the old Trojan mouse trick.
315
00:19:46,190 --> 00:19:47,589
What?
316
00:19:47,590 --> 00:19:49,389
Well, you remember the story, sir.
317
00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:54,309
The Romans built a huge wooden mouse
and they pushed it into the city
318
00:19:54,310 --> 00:19:58,669
and then burst out of it
in a surprise attack.
319
00:19:58,670 --> 00:20:02,629
Hubble, it was the Greeks
and they used a horse.
320
00:20:02,630 --> 00:20:04,989
No, I don't think so, sir.
321
00:20:04,990 --> 00:20:09,390
I mean, how could you hide a horse
inside a wooden mouse?
322
00:20:11,270 --> 00:20:14,550
I say let the killer
take his chance.
323
00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:20,150
DOORBELL RINGS
324
00:20:31,910 --> 00:20:33,469
Who is it?
325
00:20:33,470 --> 00:20:34,830
Yates.
326
00:20:38,550 --> 00:20:41,029
Hello, Yates.
What are you doing here?
327
00:20:41,030 --> 00:20:43,749
I'm to be your bodyguard.
328
00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:45,589
What?
329
00:20:45,590 --> 00:20:48,869
I have instructions
to be at your side 24/7.
330
00:20:48,870 --> 00:20:53,389
Bennett and the team are outside
in the car watching the house.
331
00:20:53,390 --> 00:20:56,829
You do know that someone's
trying to kill me, don't you?
332
00:20:56,830 --> 00:20:58,869
Yes, I know that!
That's why we're here.
333
00:20:58,870 --> 00:21:00,989
Well, you better come in.
334
00:21:00,990 --> 00:21:05,990
This is gonna be fun.
I've never had a housemate before.
335
00:21:10,350 --> 00:21:13,269
Sir Edward has asked me to draw up
336
00:21:13,270 --> 00:21:16,909
a list of the people who
might have a grudge against me.
337
00:21:16,910 --> 00:21:18,629
And how many names have you got?
338
00:21:18,630 --> 00:21:20,389
So far, 84.
339
00:21:20,390 --> 00:21:23,509
It's not very nice,
when you come to think about it,
340
00:21:23,510 --> 00:21:26,749
that one of your own colleagues
might want to wish you dead.
341
00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:29,269
How's your chop suey? All right.
342
00:21:29,270 --> 00:21:31,629
You ever been to China, Yates? No.
343
00:21:31,630 --> 00:21:34,949
I have. I went to Hong Kong.
Wonderful place.
344
00:21:34,950 --> 00:21:38,309
I did a tour there
about 30 years ago.
345
00:21:38,310 --> 00:21:40,469
Course then, it was all British.
346
00:21:40,470 --> 00:21:44,190
You could get the finest cup of tea
there in the world.
347
00:21:46,950 --> 00:21:53,029
See, people forget what us British have
given to these countries, you know?
348
00:21:53,030 --> 00:21:55,469
Like, for example, decent tea.
349
00:21:55,470 --> 00:21:57,909
I've got a brochure somewhere.
350
00:21:57,910 --> 00:21:59,670
I'll dig it out for you if you like.
351
00:22:01,870 --> 00:22:04,150
Are you having problems?
352
00:22:13,390 --> 00:22:15,830
Where's Bennett?
353
00:22:22,430 --> 00:22:23,750
Goodbye, Hubble.
354
00:22:42,910 --> 00:22:45,469
Good Lord.
Are you all right, Yates?
355
00:22:45,470 --> 00:22:47,309
Where've you been?
356
00:22:47,310 --> 00:22:48,590
I couldn't sleep,
357
00:22:48,591 --> 00:22:52,069
so I got Bennett here to take me to
the 24 hour service station.
358
00:22:52,070 --> 00:22:55,949
You see... Oh, I see you found
my Hong Kong brochure then?
359
00:22:55,950 --> 00:22:57,430
Oh, urgh.
360
00:23:00,070 --> 00:23:03,149
Good morning, Yates. Sleep well?
361
00:23:03,150 --> 00:23:05,829
No! My arm hurts
and my knee's swollen.
362
00:23:05,830 --> 00:23:09,469
Oh, sorry about that.
I've got a knee support somewhere.
363
00:23:09,470 --> 00:23:13,829
I'll see if I can dig it out for
you. Oh, by the way, good news.
364
00:23:13,830 --> 00:23:18,749
They think they know who's trying
to kill me. Really?
365
00:23:18,750 --> 00:23:20,909
Colonel Whittington phoned this
morning.
366
00:23:20,910 --> 00:23:23,229
They think it's one
Corporal Mallett.
367
00:23:23,230 --> 00:23:25,189
Mallett? Yes.
368
00:23:25,190 --> 00:23:28,989
I remember I packed his parachute
one day...
369
00:23:28,990 --> 00:23:31,149
He didn't stop sending hate mail
370
00:23:31,150 --> 00:23:33,509
until we put
the restraining order on him.
371
00:23:33,510 --> 00:23:35,549
Anyway, they arrested him
this morning.
372
00:23:35,550 --> 00:23:38,829
Well, that's good news.
Yes. It is.
373
00:23:38,830 --> 00:23:40,869
So, I'm going to pop in,
have a shower
374
00:23:40,870 --> 00:23:43,510
and then I'm going
to take you to the doctor's.
375
00:23:59,230 --> 00:24:01,110
Yates?
376
00:24:02,950 --> 00:24:04,390
Yates?
377
00:24:06,390 --> 00:24:09,189
I think you ought to get
that arm x-rayed.
378
00:24:09,190 --> 00:24:11,870
Then I'll drop you off home.
379
00:24:14,350 --> 00:24:16,309
Oh!
380
00:24:16,310 --> 00:24:18,309
Damn thing.
381
00:24:18,310 --> 00:24:22,190
To be honest, you're not in a fit
position to be anyone's bodyguard.
382
00:24:24,510 --> 00:24:25,910
Not that I need one any more.
383
00:24:25,911 --> 00:24:29,269
Where's Bennett with the car?
384
00:24:29,270 --> 00:24:30,829
Oh, I sent him away.
385
00:24:30,830 --> 00:24:35,190
What with them finding
that Corporal Mallet and that.
386
00:24:36,750 --> 00:24:38,030
Argh!
387
00:24:52,350 --> 00:24:53,509
Yates?
388
00:24:53,510 --> 00:24:55,509
Is that you, Yates?
389
00:24:55,510 --> 00:24:56,989
Comfy back there?
390
00:24:56,990 --> 00:24:58,789
What's going on?
391
00:24:58,790 --> 00:25:00,589
What do you think's going on?
392
00:25:00,590 --> 00:25:05,309
It's me, Hubble. I'm the one who's
been trying to kill you. You?
393
00:25:05,310 --> 00:25:09,829
Yes, me! Who do you think pushed the
gargoyle off the roof at the hotel?
394
00:25:09,830 --> 00:25:12,189
Or who tampered with
the brakes on your car?
395
00:25:12,190 --> 00:25:16,349
Or who peppered you with
bullets at the phonebox? Who?
396
00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:18,349
Me! It was me!
397
00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:21,309
You don't have a grudge against me
or anything, do you?
398
00:25:21,310 --> 00:25:23,790
Yes, I've got a grudge!
I've got a massive grudge!
399
00:25:23,791 --> 00:25:25,550
You got the Royal Bodyguard job!
400
00:25:26,830 --> 00:25:28,989
I was the best candidate.
401
00:25:28,990 --> 00:25:31,189
No, you weren't! I was! I still am!
402
00:25:31,190 --> 00:25:33,610
You're completely
hopeless, yet, for some
403
00:25:33,611 --> 00:25:36,029
reason, people think
you're marvellous!
404
00:25:36,030 --> 00:25:38,430
Can't you see how unfair that is?
405
00:25:51,630 --> 00:25:54,429
OK, here we go.
406
00:25:54,430 --> 00:25:55,670
What are you going to do?
407
00:25:55,671 --> 00:25:57,109
Bye bye, Hubble.
408
00:25:57,110 --> 00:26:00,429
Yates, listen.
Look, if we just go somewhere
409
00:26:00,430 --> 00:26:02,469
we can sit down and have a chat.
410
00:26:02,470 --> 00:26:04,549
I'm sure we can work this out.
411
00:26:04,550 --> 00:26:09,349
It's all about communication,
you see, Yates...
412
00:26:09,350 --> 00:26:12,309
Ah! Slow down, Yates.
413
00:26:12,310 --> 00:26:14,389
It's getting bumpy in the back here.
414
00:26:14,390 --> 00:26:16,830
Now, what was I saying...?
415
00:26:17,950 --> 00:26:20,910
Communication is one
of my best skills.
416
00:26:23,230 --> 00:26:25,950
Ah... ah!
417
00:26:27,870 --> 00:26:31,790
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
418
00:26:36,790 --> 00:26:40,549
It's terrible. Absolutely terrible.
419
00:26:40,550 --> 00:26:43,789
A great loss to the department.
420
00:26:43,790 --> 00:26:45,629
Yes, sir. It is.
421
00:26:45,630 --> 00:26:47,429
Yes, awful. Just awful.
422
00:26:47,430 --> 00:26:50,989
Well, we'll just have to wait for
the results of the psychiatric test
423
00:26:50,990 --> 00:26:55,189
that Yates has been having. Find out
exactly why he wanted to kill you.
424
00:26:55,190 --> 00:26:58,589
Oh, by the way, they've asked
to interview you, Hubble.
425
00:26:58,590 --> 00:27:01,309
That should give them their answer.
426
00:27:01,310 --> 00:27:02,989
Don't be too hard on him, sir.
427
00:27:02,990 --> 00:27:07,189
It can't have been
a bed of roses for Yates, you know,
428
00:27:07,190 --> 00:27:08,470
being in my shadow.
429
00:27:08,471 --> 00:27:10,550
That's very decent of you, Hubble.
430
00:27:11,870 --> 00:27:13,509
The thing I keep mulling over
431
00:27:13,510 --> 00:27:16,349
is how you escaped
from the boot of your car.
432
00:27:16,350 --> 00:27:20,869
Well, sir, the catch on the boot
has always been on the blink
433
00:27:20,870 --> 00:27:24,909
and so, when the car hit the bottom
of the lake, the boot popped.
434
00:27:24,910 --> 00:27:27,829
Lucky it did
otherwise I would have been drowned.
435
00:27:27,830 --> 00:27:30,469
Yes.
436
00:27:30,470 --> 00:27:33,189
Well, I better be off.
I've got to get to the Palace.
437
00:27:33,190 --> 00:27:35,829
I'm escorting Her Majesty
to Balmoral.
438
00:27:35,830 --> 00:27:38,869
Oh, right,
I wondered what the kilt was for.
439
00:27:38,870 --> 00:27:40,829
Yes, well, I like to blend in.
440
00:27:40,830 --> 00:27:43,470
ALARM RINGING
Excuse me.
441
00:27:46,030 --> 00:27:50,189
Hubble, your sporran is ringing.
442
00:27:50,190 --> 00:27:52,109
Yes, I know, sir.
443
00:27:52,110 --> 00:27:56,749
The thing is, my watch got damaged
when I went into the lake
444
00:27:56,750 --> 00:28:02,589
so I'm using my alarm clock
cos I like to punctual, sir.
445
00:28:02,590 --> 00:28:06,309
Can you deal with it, please?
This is a gentleman's club.
446
00:28:06,310 --> 00:28:10,389
Yes, yes, of course I will.
Sorry I'll just pop...
447
00:28:10,390 --> 00:28:12,270
I'll try and get it...
448
00:28:15,310 --> 00:28:19,589
Good old Hubble. We're lucky
to have him, you know, Dennis.
449
00:28:19,590 --> 00:28:24,189
What?! The whole nation is lucky
to have him.
450
00:28:24,190 --> 00:28:26,469
Well, that's it, sir. I'll be off.
451
00:28:26,470 --> 00:28:28,750
ALARM RINGING
452
00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:31,870
ALARM KEEPS RINGING
453
00:28:38,350 --> 00:28:40,750
Ah, that's it.
454
00:28:43,710 --> 00:28:45,870
Well, sir, goodbye.
455
00:28:46,220 --> 00:28:48,697
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