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I could murder Sir John.

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Calling you back to London right in the middle of your holiday.

Oh, my darling, you know perfectly well that in the diplomatic service,

neither rain nor snow nor gloom of night

shall stay us in the proper execution of our duty.

I'm sorry to say.

I suppose it's another crisis.

Who's walking out on whom this time?

I really don't know, but they sounded very hush-hush and mysterious on the telephone.

Henry?

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Supposing Sir John were to send you to a strange country on a secret mission.

Yes, go on.

And supposing you were arrested as a spy and shot by a firing squad, what then?

In that case, my sweet, you'd be the most attractive widow in England.

Daddy, Clarissa!

That's Peppa.

Are you leaving now, Peppa?

Yes, I've got to hurry. I'll be late from the school bath.

Bye, Peppa. Enjoy your lunch.

Bye.

Darling, I can't thank you enough for what you've done for Peppa.

Oh, darling.

She's been through such misery. And now she's well, and she's happy.

She and I get along very well. But do you know what I've often wondered?

What?

What she really thinks of me as a stepmother.

You see, in fairy tales, stepmothers are always so beastly.

Oh, now, really, Clarissa, that's nonsense.

No, I mean it.

Supposing that deep down inside, Peppa really resented me,

and supposing she found some deadly herb and put it in my salad one day.

I'm sorry, darling,

but she's been taking a morbid interest in grisly subjects

and actually collecting books on voodoo and witchcraft.

Darling, those subjects are more or less compulsory for a twelve-year-old.

Do you know what would really bother me?

What?

If she stopped reading and started supposing.

Good morning, madam. Good morning, sir.

Morning, Elgin.

Morning, Elgin.

Breakfast is on the terrace.

Thank you.

Have Sir Rowland and Mr. Warrander had theirs?

Oh, yes, madam. I think they're going out.

By the way, it's our night off.

Mrs. Elgin and I thinking of going into Maidstone.

Is there anything we can do for you?

No, thank you.

Very thoughtful of you.

Have a good time.

Thank you, madam.

Good man, Elgin.

His wife's a first-rate cook.

Miss Peake doesn't think so.

She loathes the Elgins.

What's she got against them?

Well, her hatred is founded on the fact that Mrs. Elgin does not care for her vegetables.

And as Miss Peake was the gardener for the former owner of Copleston Court, she rather resents being criticized by the Elgins.

Actually, she has implied that Elgin is an ex-jailbird masquerading as a butler.

Darling, Miss Peake's imagination is almost as vivid as yours.

You think it's imagination?

What do you think she's doing now?

What the devil is the woman doing?

I'd say she's digging a grave.

For Mr. and Mrs. Elgin.

You mean she's...

Darling, I love you.

Miss Peake is digging a trench for the potatoes or something.

For Mr. and Mrs. Elgin.

You mean she's...

Darling, I love you. Miss Peake is digging a trench. For the potatoes or something.

Oh, is that all?

I hope your victims don't discover what you suppose about them.

They'll never be the same again.

- Rowley. - Hello.

- Morning, Jeremy. - Hello, darling.

Good morning, darling. Lovely day for gold.

That's what we thought.

Are you two playing together?

No, no. Rowley's playing with a local JP, Hugo Birch.

Oh, have a good game.

Thank you very much indeed.

Well, see you later.

- Bye, Jeremy. - Bye.

What about Rowley?

He's a good subject to suppose about.

He was your guardian for years.

Wouldn't hurt a fly.

Generous.

But supposing he isn't my guardian.

Supposing he's an imposter

who killed the real Rowley in my childhood.

Oh, ho!

You win, darling.

Don't you want to know what I suppose about Jeremy?

Um, yes.

There's just time for one more.

Well, supposing we went away together, what would happen then?

Um, I don't know. What would?

Well, the first time I supposed it, we were in the south of France, and you arrived, and you had a revolver.

Ah, did I?

And you said, if you don't come back to England with me, Clarissa?

If you don't come back to England with me, Clarissa?

I'll shoot myself.

I'll shoot...

I'll shoot...

I'll shoot myself?

That was jolly decent of me. What did you say?

Well, I couldn't quite make up my mind.

I really must go now, darling. I won't be back late.

Unless he's... arrested as a spy... and shot by a firing squad.

That, you say, is the Dower 42? The kitchen staff, the Coleman 27. Right?

Precisely.

I really must go now, darling. I won't be back late.

Unless he's arrested as a spy...

and shot by a firing squad.

That, you say, is the Dow 42? The kitchen staff, the Coburn 27. Right?

Precisely.

Well, don't swallow the lot.

- Lufthia, what are you two other... - Shh! Don't interrupt.

The great experts on the job. We've got a big bet on this.

Coburn 27, Dow 42, kitchen 55.

You've lost, old boy! Ha ha ha ha!

Well, darling, have you settled it yet?

Yes, I've won and he's lost. You owe me £5.

Oh, good. Well, now you can take the tray into the dining room...

and you'll find the decanter on the sideboard.

The decanter?

Oh, yes, only one. It's all the same porch, you know.

You unprincipled little... Stop laughing!

Oh, I'm disgusted with your behaviour.

But you look so bored. I thought I'd give you a little entertainment.

Entertainment? I'll never forgive you for this.

I'll never talk to you again as long as I live.

Hello, Clarissa. Hi, Jeremy. Hello, darling.

Oh, I'm starving.

Haven't you had your tea?

Oh, yes, but that was half an hour ago.

Can't I have something to last me till supper?

All right, we'll see what we can find. Be back in a minute, Jeremy.

Fine.

Oh, Lord, save us. Here comes that peak woman.

Now, listen. Try and keep your temper.

Oh, look who's talking. You don't have to put up with her.

For the last six weeks, I've been cooking that woman's puny vegetables for the Houndstown Browns.

Every day she comes barging into my kitchen, causing trouble.

I know, but we're stuck with her and we're miles from London.

This is a stinking job. Let's try and make the best of it.

Lucky to find any kind of job with your references.

Here, I don't think I like that.

Oh, try her.

Vegetables for tomorrow's dinner.

More like the cat's dinner, if you ask me.

You have a keen sense of humour, Mrs Elkin.

You need it to be married to that.

Look at these tomatoes. Not fit for cooking, let alone eating.

What you know about cooking could be stuck in a flea's navel.

Listen to her. Get out of my kitchen. Go on out.

It's not your kitchen. It's the Halesham Browns.

And they should be more careful about the agency they get their help from.

What?

Oh. So you've suddenly come to life, Elkin.

I can't say it's a great improvement.

Look, don't think I don't know about that peculiar agency in London.

Who are you to talk?

Who knows where you came from?

I came with the house and I'm staying with the house and that is more than I can say about either of you.

So put that in your saucepan and burn it.

Stomach poisoner.

Do you like living in the country?

Rather. Much better than London.

This is a wizard house, Jeremy. It's got everything. It's even got a priest's home.

A priest's home. A priest's home in this house?

Yes.

I can't believe that. It's the wrong sort of place altogether.

Doc, I'll show you then.

You watch this.

Good heavens. That's fantastic.

Of course, it isn't really a priest's home. It goes through to the library. Come, I'll show you.

Yes, right. This is the library. Fantastic.

I'm going through this door and back into Troy Hill again.

Aha. That fooled you, isn't it?

Here. How do I close this?

There's a switch on the side.

Oh, yes.

Just made it.

You'd never guess the recess was there unless you knew.

You certainly wouldn't.

I use it all the time.

It's the sort of place that would be very convenient for putting a dead body. Don't you think?

Yes, yes. Absolutely made for it.

Well, I suppose we may as well go over to the golf house.

Good Lord, yes.

Yes, I've got a change. I'll be five minutes.

I hope you don't mind dining at the club, darling.

No, as the servants are going out, it seems a very sensible arrangement.

Um, Miss Pippa, your supper's ready in the schoolroom.

Good, I'm ready.

Yeah, yeah. What about the cards?

Oh, bother.

Yes, oh bother. You're a very untidy little girl.

Excuse me, madam.

What is it, Elgin?

Mrs. Elgin is rather upset about that, um, matter.

I do hope you'll speak to Miss Peeke about it.

Oh, yes, of course I will.

Thank you, madam.

Elgin tells me that he isn't having a very friendly relationship with our garden.

What?

Curious, isn't it?

It sounds improper in a pagan sort of way.

Yes, it certainly does.

You're very lucky, that couple, though.

Where did you get them?

From an employment agency in London.

Mrs. Hesha Brown.

Do forgive me coming in like this.

My feet are filthy.

I mean the boots, naturally.

I just wanted to ask you about the vegetables for tomorrow's dinner.

By the way, you did speak to Mrs. Elgin about her rudeness.

Not yet, Miss Peeke, but I will.

Thank you.

And if you could possibly persuade her to put her head in the gas oven,

I should be delighted.

That woman drives me start...

Sit down, I'll answer it.

Hello?

Koppelstern Court.

Yes?

Is Mrs. Brown there, please?

Yes, for you.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

Hello?

Who's that speaking?

Yes, this is Mrs.

Hello?

Hello?

Very odd.

They must have rung off.

Mrs. Hesha Brown, you will be careful about marks on this table, won't you?

Mr. Sellem was very particular.

Really?

And that ornament, that's always kept up there.

It's old Hesham Brown, Mrs. Spode.

Hesham Spode.

I don't know what's come over me today.

I had a bit of good night too.

Ah, well.

Well, Brown Hesham, Hesham Brown's all the same really, isn't it?

No, it is not.

A horse chestnut is not the same as a chestnut horse.

I'm getting a ticking off.

Well, I'll be getting along.

Bye-bye.

Goodbye.

Hello, Hugo.

How does Henry get on with Miss Beak?

He rather likes her.

She's not a bad sort, really.

And a very good gardener.

She came with the house and the house was terribly cheap.

Cheap, is it really?

You surprise me.

Marvellously cheap.

It was advertised and we came to see it and we took it for six months furnished.

Who does it belong to?

A Mr. Sellin.

He died.

He was an antique dealer at Maidstone.

Yes, that's right.

Sellin and Brown.

They sold excellent antiques.

Mind you, there are one or two disadvantages to this house.

Only yesterday, a couple of men arrived and they wanted to buy that desk.

I told them we didn't own it, but they wouldn't listen to me.

And they kept raising the price until it went up to 500 pounds.

500 pounds for that desk?

Good Lord.

Hello, darling.

You're looking very depressed.

What's the matter?

I'm still hungry.

She can't be.

I am though.

Milk and chocolate biscuits and banana aren't really filling.

Of course not.

Give the poor child something to eat at once, good gracious.

Yes, it's quite a nice desk.

Genuine, I should think.

Hardly what I call a collector's piece.

Perhaps it's got a secret drawer, a diamond necklace in it.

Eh, Biba?

It has got a secret drawer.

What?

I found a book in the market all about secret drawers and all furniture.

I looked all over the house, but this is the only one I could find.

Look, I'll show you.

Slide out this, and there's sort of a little catch thing underneath.

The drawer flies out, see?

I say, that's very good, isn't it?

Hello, what's inside?

April Fool.

I put it there.

You little villain.

Actually, there was an envelope with Queen Victoria in it.

Look, I'll show you.

Do you collect your autographs, Puffa?

Not really, only as a sideline.

How much is Queen Victoria's autograph worth?

Oh, five to ten shillings, I should think.

Hmm.

There's Ruskin's here and Robert Browning's.

I don't think they're worth very much either.

Wish I had Cary Grant's or Frank Sinatra's.

Ah, yes.

These historical ones are rather mouldy, I think.

Well, I wouldn't mind having Bo to see us.

That's if she could write.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry to keep you chaps waiting.

Are you sure you won't come with us, Clarissa?

No.

Henry will be here soon, but I'll walk to the gate with you.

Oh, fine.

I'll be back in a minute, darling.

Pippa, it's time little girls were in bed,

and it's time little boys went over to the club to get some dinner.

Good night, darling.

Thank you, Uncle Rowley.

Good evening, sir.

I'm Mr Oliver Costello.

I want to see Mrs Brown.

Brown?

Oh, yes, of course.

This way.

If you wait here, sir, I'll find Mrs Hales from Brown.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Who is her?

What are you doing here?

That's rather a silly question as I live here.

Is this your house?

Don't pretend you didn't know.

It's charming. Used to belong to old, what's-his-name, the antique dealer, didn't it?

Cigarette.

No, thank you, and I think you should go.

My husband is due back quite soon, and I don't think he'd be very pleased to see you.

But I particularly want to see him. That's why I've come here, really.

To discuss suitable arrangements.

Arrangements?

Mm-hmm.

For Pippa.

You see, Mirandra is quite agreeable to Pippa spending part of her summer holidays with Henry.

And perhaps a week at Christmas, but otherwise...

This is Pippa's home.

But my dear Clarissa, surely you're aware that the court gave Miranda the custody of the child.

May I?

The case was undefended. Remember?

It was agreed that Pippa would live with her father.

If Miranda had not agreed that, Henry would have divorced her.

You don't know Miranda very well, do you?

She so often changes her mind.

I don't think she cares toughens about the child.

But you're not a mother, my dear Clarissa.

You don't mind my calling you Clarissa, do you?

After all, now that I'm married to Miranda, we're practically a relations-in-law.

Yes, I can assure you, Miranda's feeling violent and paternal.

I don't believe it.

Well, please yourself.

But after all, there was no arrangement in writing, you know.

You're not going to have Pippa.

The child was a nervous wreck.

And now she's better.

And that's the way she's going to remain.

Oh.

And how will you manage that?

The law's on our side.

What a fool I've been.

It's blackmail.

I was looking for you, madam.

Will it be quite all right for us to leave now?

Yes, Elgin.

Supper's late already in the dining room.

Would you like me to close the windows before we go?

No, I'll see to them, thank you.

Yes, thank you, madam.

Good night.

Good night.

Blackmail.

It's a very ugly word, Clarissa.

Have I ever mentioned any money?

No.

But that's what you meant, isn't it?

Well, I think Miranda thinks that Henry might give her a larger allowance.

After all, he's quite comfortably off, isn't he?

If you try and take Pippa away from here,

I shall fight you tooth and nail.

I don't care what weapons I use.

And what weapons have you?

There's nothing to stop me going to the medical board

and getting evidence proving that Miranda is a drug addict.

And I might even go to Scotland Yard.

To the narcotic squad and suggest they keep an eye on you.

Henry will hardly care for your methods.

Then Henry can lump it.

- Clarissa? - Hello, Pippa. How you've grown. I've just come to make some arrangements about you. Your mummy's looking forward to having you with her again.

Oh, come, I won't. Don't worry, darling, you're staying here with us. I assure you she won't. Get out of here at once, will you? How rude. At once, do you hear? Excuse me, Mr. Herschelbrown, may I come in.

Miss Peake, will you please show Mr. Costello out? Miss Peake? Yes, I'm the gardener here. Indeed. I came here once before to look at some antique furniture. In Mr. Sellensheim? Well, you can't see him today, he's dead. I didn't come to see Mr. Sellens. I came to see Mrs. Brown. Well, now you've seen her. Goodbye, Clarissa. Mr. Costello, will you go by bus or have you bought your own? I left my car round by the stove.

This way. Thank you. Oh. You'll hear from me again. He'll take me away from him. No, he won't. I hate him. I've always hated him. Now then, Pippa. I don't want to go back to Mother. I'd rather die. I'll kill him. Now then, that's enough of that. Where's your handkerchief? Blow your nose.

You go and have your bath and give yourself a good wash because your neck's filthy. It always is.

You won't let him take me away, will you? Over my dead body, I swear. Or rather, over his dead body. Satisfied? Oh, yes.

Up you go. I'll be there in a minute.

Up you go. I'll be there in a minute.

Thank you.

Hello, darling.

Hello.

Did you bump into anybody in the driveway?

Not so.

Why?

Oh, nothing.

I have a drink.

Not just now, thank you.

Who's in the house?

Only Pepper.

It's the Eldon's night out.

That means we'll have really good coffee because I shall make it.

Darling, is there anything the matter?

The matter?

No, nothing's the matter.

But there is something.

Do I perceive behind that Foreign Office facade a certain human excitement?

Well, it is rather exciting in a way.

The news was only given out officially tonight.

Tarantinoff's pen is due at London Airport at 8.40.

But...

Look, Clarissa, I must beg you to be discreet.

Well, I'm much more discreet than the Sunday papers.

Well...

The conference is tomorrow.

But it would be a great advantage if a conversation could take place between Sir John himself and Callendorf before then.

Naturally, the reporters will all be around London Airport.

And the moment the plane arrives, Callendorf's movements will become public property.

That's where the fog comes in.

Go on, darling.

I'm thrilled.

At the last moment, his plane will find that it is inadvisable to land at London Airport.

It will be diverted, as is usual on these occasions.

Lindley Heath, which is only 15 miles away.

I shall go down there now in the car, meet Callendorf and Sir John, and bring them back here.

Here?

You know, Clarissa, this could be very important to me in my career.

I mean, they're putting a lot of trust in me, having the meeting here in my house.

So they should, darling. I think it's wonderful.

Oh, by the way, Callendorf is to be referred to as, uh, Mr. Jones.

Jones?

Yes, one can't be too careful about using real names.

Oh, I know, but Mr. Jones, couldn't they have thought of something better than that?

Well, what's the matter with it? I thought it was rather a good idea.

If we have anything more complicated, we might forget it ourselves.

Oh, but darling, what do you think I should do when these important men arrive?

I mean, Sir John and Mr. Jones.

Do you think that I should, uh, retire to the harem, as it were?

Or should I bring in the drinks, utter greetings, and discreetly fade away?

Now, Clarissa, please be serious.

I am serious. Really, darling, nothing will go wrong. I won't let it.

I say, what about Jeremy and Rowley?

They're having dinner at the club with Hugo, and they're going to play bridge afterwards,

so they won't be back until midnight.

And the Ogdens are out?

They won't be back until after 11.

Good, that's fine. That means that Sir John and Callendorf, and, uh, Mr.

Jones.

Oh.

Anyway, they'll be through long before then.

I'll just go up and change and say goodnight to Peppa.

All right, darling.

Oh, uh, my briefcase, darling.

I'll get it.

Then I'll go and make the sandwiches.

Oh, well, through.

How to cure warts.

How to get your heart's desire.

How to destroy your enemy.

Hello, Daddy.

Hello, darling.

Just came to say goodnight.

I'm so glad you're home.

Ah, she's got to go out again, but I'll be back soon.

Daddy, would you let anyone take me away from you and Clarissa?

Oh, of course not, you silly old thing.

Would you kill anyone who tried?

I might.

Ah, Peppa.

Where on earth do you get these morbid thoughts?

Well, supposing I was...

Never mind.

I think I know.

Good night, darling.

Good night, Daddy.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

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Now, darling, there you are.

The car might have a puncture, you know.

Anything could happen, the car might break down.

Darling, don't fuss. You go and see your Mr. Jones.

I still think it's a ridiculous name.

And wear your overcoat. It's chilly outside.

Yes, dear.

And your scarf.

Yes, dear.

And drive carefully.

Yes, dear.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Hmm.

Come on.

Good-bye.

Larissa!

Beppa, don't look. Come with me.

Oh, I didn't mean to.

What do you mean?

Oh, Clarissa, I didn't mean to.

Beppa, it wasn't you.

He's dead, isn't he?

He's quite dead.

Oh, I didn't mean to kill him.

Oh, really, I didn't mean to.

Of course you didn't.

Now, listen to me.

I want you to forget all about this.

Everything is going to be all right.

Now, first of all, you ought to go upstairs and get straight into bed.

You come with me?

As soon as possible.

I promise.

I promise.

Thank you.

Thank heaven you got here. What's happened? Darling, you've got to help me. It looks like a bridge party. Please, this is terribly serious.

What are you up to? Will you help me? Of course, what's it all about? You are up to something, aren't you Clarissa? What is it? You found a body? Yes, I have found a body. What? What do you mean you found a body? It's what Jeremy said. I came down here and I found a body. Oh really? I'm serious. Look behind the sofa. It's Costello. My sainted aunt, she's right. We must hurry. There's so little time. Wait, we must get the facts clear. What happened? As I said, I came into

this room and and he was lying there like that. He's dead all right. He's been hit over the head

with something heavy and sharp. There's only one thing to be done. You must call the police at once.

No, Rowley, stop. You should have done it in the first place, my dear. You told me that you would help if ever I was in trouble.

Yes, but how, Clarissa? What do you want us to do? Get rid of the body. Don't talk nonsense. This is murder.

That's the whole point. I realized that we mustn't have the body in this house. So I started to drag it towards the recess.

But my dear, Clarissa, you mustn't go moving dead bodies about. Oh, I was fully aware that I needed help. That's why I rang you.

And while I was waiting, I made a plan. Including the bridge table. This is going to be our alibi. What on earth do you mean?

Two and a half rubbers. I've imagined all the hands and I've written down the scores. Now you three must fill out the

of the piece in your own handwriting. You're mad. Raving mad. I've worked it out beautifully. It's going to take two of

you to carry the body. A dead body is most unmanageable. I found that out already. Just where do you expect us to take it?

I think the best place would be Marsden Wood. You can park the car by the side of the road and walk back here.

But this is monstrous. I'm a justice of the piece. You'll need some gloves. We mustn't risk you

getting your fingerprints over anything. Darling, your natural talent for crime leaves me speechless.

You've got it beautifully worked out, hasn't she? Yes, she has, but it's nonsense all the same.

We must hurry, because Henry's due back here at nine o'clock with Mr. Jones.

Mr. Jones? Who's he? I'd never realised how much explaining there was to be done in a murder. Jeremy.

Well, I'm game, Clarissa. I mean, what's a dead body or two? Stop. I'm not going to allow this. Clarissa, you must be guided by me.

I want Henry to consider, too. But Henry is the one I'm thinking of. He's gone to collect a very, very important person and bring them back here. And there's to be absolutely no publicity whatsoever.

Mr. Jones? Silly name, I agree, but that's what they're calling him. Now, can you imagine the effect on Henry's career if he were to arrive and discover the police in charge of a murder? And the murder, that of a man who has just married his former wife? Wait a minute.

You're not making this up, are you? You'll never believe me when I tell the truth. I'm sorry. This is going to be a more difficult problem than I thought.

And now do you see why we have to get the body out of here? Right. Do we take the car to the body or the body to the car? No, wait. We mustn't rush it like this.

Clarissa, I'm not sure your plan is the best one. If we could delay finding the body until tomorrow morning by moving it to another room, for instance, then it might be excusable.

Roley, this is urgent. Come in here.

Now.

Darling, I love you very much and always will, but in this case the answer is no.

That man's body cannot be discovered in this house. If it is, we'll all be questioned and Pippa cannot stand up to it. Pippa? She'll break down and confess.

Pippa?

She didn't mean to do it. She got in a panic and struck out blindly with that stick. What stick? The one in the hall stand. It's in the recess now. I left it there. Where is she now? In bed. I'm going to take her to London tomorrow. I must get her away from here.

All right, darling, you win. I apologize. That child must be protected at all costs. Come on.

We're rolling. I'm converted. There's not a moment to lose. Get hold of those.

- How does this open? - I'll do it. Pippa showed me.

Oh! This is it. Heavy enough. Come on, let's get the body. Right.

- Better cover him with this. - Right.

Good luck.

- Police. - What? What the devil are they doing?

- We can't get in the car now. - That'll be the house. That'll be just up under a bush somewhere.

- No, no. Back into the house. - The police.

- Here, don't we know it. Answer it. Keep talking. Delaying tactics. Give us time.

- Round the other way. - Round the other way. That's it. Put him down.

- Fiend. - Fiend up his legs.

- Come close the thing. Come out and sit. - Hi.

Come sit down. Quick, quick.

Your call, Hugo. Quick!

- You could have spared me that. - What do I do with these? - Come here. Come here. Come and sit down. What are you playing at, Hugo?

Guess what, darlings? The police.

The police?

Evening, gentlemen.

Sorry to intrude, but we've had information that a murder's been committed here.

What? Murder? Impossible.

Isn't it extraordinary?

Yes.

We had a telephone call at the police station. Good evening, Mr. Birch.

Good evening, Inspector Lord. How are you?

Very well, thank you, sir. Inspector, I think somebody's been pulling your leg.

Yes. We've been playing bridge all evening, haven't we?

Yes.

Who did you say was murdered?

No names were mentioned, madam. The caller just said a man had been murdered at Copleston Court.

What a wicked thing to do.

Thank you, madam.

You'd be surprised at some of the crazy things people do do.

You're Miss Dianne Schumbrown, sir. Me? No.

Oh, no. This is Mr. Warrender. And this is Sir Roland Delahaye.

How do you do, sir?

I don't know. And your husband, madam?

Oh, he's not here. He's going to be back very late.

I see. Anyone else in the house?

Just my 12-year-old stepdaughter. She's upstairs fast asleep.

Servants?

It's their night out. They're in Maidstone.

I see. Well, there's obviously been a misunderstanding.

I'm sorry for troubling you, madam, but I'm sure you'll understand that when we get a telephone call of this nature,

we have to investigate the matter. Isn't that right, Mr. Birch?

Quite right, Inspector. Very commendable.

Thank you.

Well, now, do come again. Just drop in any time you feel like it.

Thank you, madam.

Elgin. Now, butler.

Thought you were in Maidstone. We came home almost immediately, sir.

Mrs. Elgin wasn't feeling very well. Is there anything the matter?

Someone phoned the police station and said a murder had been committed here.

A murder?

Yes. Do you know anything about it?

No, nothing at all, sir. Nothing.

Wasn't you that made the call, was it?

Certainly not, sir.

You came in the back door, I suppose?

Naturally, sir.

Do you notice anything unusual?

When I think of it, there's a strange car parked near the stable.

I wondered who it belonged to. It seemed a funny place to leave it.

Go and have a look at it, Jones.

Jones?

Be your pardon?

Oh, nothing. An unusual name.

Go on.

Well, go on. And you too, but don't leave the house.

You're not going to be a good place to leave it.

You're not going to be a good place to leave it.

You're not going to be a good place to leave it.

You're not going to be a good place to leave it.

You're not going to be a good place to leave it.

You're not going to be a good place to leave it.

tonight who's unaccounted for. You weren't expecting anyone? Oh no, just the four of us for Bridge. You haven't lived here very long, have you, Mrs. Oceanbrown? About six weeks. And during that time there's been no funny business of any sort? What do you mean by funny business, Inspector? Well, it's a curious story, sir, but this house used to belong to Mr. Sullen, the antique dealer. He died six months ago. Didn't he have an accident or something? That's right, madam. Fell downstairs.

He landed on his head. Accidental death they brought in. There was no evidence, of course, but rather a dark horse, this Mr. Sullen. What do you mean by that, Inspector? Well, once or twice he'd had a couple of things to explain, as you might say, and the narcotics squad came down and had a chat with him once. It was all only suspicion. Officially, that is to say. Oh yes, sir, officially. Whereas unofficially? I'm afraid we can't mention that, sir. But there was one rather curious circumstance. On Mr.

Mr. Sellon's desk was an unfinished letter in which he mentioned that he'd come into possession of something which he described as an unparalleled rarity, and which he would guarantee wasn't a forgery. He was asking £25,000 for it.

£25,000? A lot of money? I wonder what it was. Jewelry, I suppose. But the word forgery. Oh, a picture, perhaps.

Possibly, sir. But there was nothing in the shop worth that much money. The insurance inventory made that clear.

Oh, Mr. Sellon had a partner, a woman. You know, she had her own business in London. She wrote to us, but she couldn't give us any help.

Inspector, why have you told us all of this?

Well, because, Mrs. Hailsham-Brown, it occurred to me that whatever it was that had been hidden by Mr. Sellon may have been hidden here and not in the shop at Maidstone.

That's why I asked if anything peculiar had come to your notice.

Well, somebody rang me today, and when I answered the phone, they hung up. I thought that was a bit odd.

And then yesterday, a couple of men arrived, and they wanted to buy that desk.

That one?

Yes, I told them it wasn't ours, and we couldn't sell it, but they wouldn't listen.

They offered the most terrific amount, much more than it's worth.

Probably because of the secret drawer.

Secret drawer?

There's nothing very exciting in it, only just some old autographs.

Yes, Jones?

I'll examine the car, sir.

And these.

Hmm.

Excuse me.

May we use that room?

Of course.

Thank you, ma'am.

Registration book in the name of Oliver Costello, Cromwell Mansions, London, Southwest 3.

Ever read of him?

No, sir.

Better check up on the files.

Anything else?

These are on the seats, sir.

No other papers.

Something weird going on in there.

That bridge game.

I don't like it.

Come on.

We'll tackle it again.

No, it's no earthly good.

He's bound to search the hut and look out.

Has a man named Oliver Costello been here today?

Yes, he came here about half past six, I think.

Friend of yours?

No, I wouldn't say that.

I met him once or twice.

As a matter of fact, I...

Let me explain, Inspector.

It concerns the first Mrs. Halsham Brown.

There was a divorce just over a year ago, and recently she married Mr. Oliver Costello.

He came here this evening, why?

By appointment?

No.

When my husband's first wife left him,

she took one or two things from the house that didn't belong to her.

And so, when Mr. Costello was in this part of the world, he decided to return them.

What kind of things?

Oh, nothing very important.

Now, this was one, for instance.

It belonged to my husband's mother.

Just sentimental value.

Did he mention where he was going when he left here?

No.

He went out through the French windows.

As a matter of fact, my gardener, Miss Peake, offered to show him out through the garden.

Your gardener calls himself Miss Peake?

It's a lady gardener.

Oh, yes, of course.

I'd like to see Miss Peake, if I may.

Of course.

She lives in the cottage.

Would you like me to ring her?

I'll do, Carissa.

Oh, my people's so impatient.

Ah, there they are.

Hello.

Is that you, Miss Peake?

Look, something odd's happened.

Really?

Would you come over?

Well, yes, of course.

I'll come over at once.

Just something odd.

Well, Miss Peake will come bounding along any moment now, Inspector.

Thank you, Mr. Wylander.

Now, I'd like to search the house, if I may.

Yes.

Well, you've seen this room.

Nothing could possibly be hidden in here.

Would you like to start with the library?

Thank you, Madam.

You all right?

Sir.

Here we are.

Nice room.

See where that door leads to.

Yes, sir.

Through to the hall, sir.

Would you like to go upstairs now for me?

Certainly.

They've all gone upstairs.

What are we going to do now?

I don't like it.

We're getting in deep.

Look here, we've got to own up before it's too late.

No, no, no.

We can't do that.

That would mean letting Clarissa down very badly.

Well, I don't like it.

What do you say, Rowley?

Personally, I'm committed to the enterprise.

I don't understand.

I'm afraid it must take it on trust.

When the police don't find Costello's body in the house,

they'll look somewhere else.

Here, wait a minute.

I've just had a brilliant idea.

Brilliant.

Why don't we whip the body outside while they're still upstairs?

No, no, no, no.

They'll be back in a minute.

It's safer where it is.

All the other rooms are empty, sir.

All right.

May we go in here?

Is it necessary?

It's the child's room.

I'm afraid it is.

Be very quiet.

She looks like an angel.

Yeah.

Very sweet.

Very sweet.

Voodoo.

Witchcraft and plagues.

Magic spells of primitive tribes.

Very nice indeed.

I say, what's happened?

Has there been a burglary or something?

No, no, not there.

As a matter of fact,

the...

Detective Inspector Lord.

A detective?

How exciting.

I'm mad about crime.

Thank you.

Good evening, Miss Peake.

Delighted to meet you.

Won't you sit down?

Thank you.

Or stay standing, just as you like.

I think I'll remain upstanding.

So will I.

Miss Peake,

a peculiar telephone call brought us out here this evening,

and I think you may be able to help us.

Well, I'm at your service.

Oh, very mysterious.

Now, what can I do for you?

Well, it concerns a Mr. Oliver Costello

of Cromwell Mansions, Chelsea.

Never heard of him.

But he was out here this evening

visiting Mrs. Hylsham-Brown.

I understood you showed him out.

Oh, that man!

Oh, why didn't you say so before?

Now, what do you want to know?

I want to know exactly what happened

when you last saw him.

Oh, yes.

Now, I've got to think.

Now, let me see.

We were, uh...

We were in here.

Yes.

Yes, and then we walked over here.

Then, uh...

Then we went out of the window,

and then after that,

I beg your pardon,

I didn't see you there.

And then...

Then he went over to the stable

to collect his car.

And then?

Then?

Then?

Then he drove away, I suppose.

But he couldn't have done.

His car's still there.

Miss Peake,

we had a telephone call

at the police station

at 7.49 this evening

saying that a man had been murdered

at Copleston Court.

A man murdered here?

Have you looked for the body, Inspector?

The Inspector's already searched the house.

Look,

I'm sure the Elgins

are at the bottom of this.

I saw light in that bedroom

on my way here tonight.

Make a note of that, Sergeant.

Miss Peake, now...

Don't talk, listen.

Now, suppose,

I only say suppose,

Mr. Costello found out

that Elgin was a man

with a criminal record.

He might have come back

to warn

Mrs. Hailsham Brown.

And Elgin killed him.

And, of course,

he'd have to hide the body.

Now,

where could he have hidden the body?

Miss Peake,

nobody has hidden anybody anywhere.

Oh, you can't be sure about that.

Now, where could a man

like Elgin have hidden the body?

Now, let me think, let me think.

Of course,

you've looked in that cupboard place

between here

and the library, naturally.

The Inspector has looked

both in here

and the library.

Oh.

What do you mean by that cupboard place,

Miss Peake?

Oh, it's a wonderful place to hide

when you're in the house

but you want to pretend to be out.

I'll show it to you.

There's nothing in there now.

I know because I've just been through there

into the library.

Oh.

In that case,

we don't have to worry.

No.

I'd like to see it just the same.

Would you certainly?

Excuse me, Mum.

Now, this,

this used to be a little door originally

and over here

is a gadget

which you just press

and the door flies open.

There he is.

Oh.

You make the table?

Come on.

Oh, God.

Just a minute.

It'll stop pushing me.

It's heavier than she looks.

It's all real well for you to talk.

You've got the lighter end.

All right.

Send the medical officer over

as soon as you can.

What?

Yes, send them as well.

We want photographs.

Everything, the lot.

Bye.

Well, Madam?

Inspector,

Mrs. Hilton Brown's had a nasty shock.

She's in no condition to answer questions.

No, I'm perfectly all right.

If I could just have an aspirin.

She won't run away, you know.

Oh, it's a comfort, sir.

Very well, Madam,

but please come right back.

I'd like another word with you, sir, please.

All right.

Well, we'd better get the body back

and recess and close the panel.

Right, sir.

I'm sorry.

You quite all right?

Yes, fine.

Good.

Is Miss Peake all right?

Yes, sir.

She's still out,

but I think she'll live.

That is, I'm afraid she will.

I thought you were almost out.

Well, I was,

but I recuperate very quickly.

Yes, I see.

What exactly is happening now?

Well, I'm worried to death.

You see,

Henry may be back at any moment

with Sir John

and that important person.

We've got to get the police out of the house.

Well, it's a good idea,

but I don't see how we're going to do that

now they've found the body.

Well, supposing you nip down to Miss Peake's cottage

and you'll phone the inspector

and tell him that he's got to get home immediately.

That's a very good idea.

Wait a minute.

Why?

Say his house is burning down.

But he may live in a flat.

No, no,

I don't think it's a good idea at all.

Well, say his wife's just been taken off to hospital.

Hospital?

Yes.

Now, who knows?

Hey, where have you gone now?

Well, I mean,

his wife may be a nurse in the hospital.

No, I think the best thing for us to do

is to get together on a good story

before we question it.

Well, you don't think the inspector's

going to allow that for a moment, do you?

Oh, hello.

Inspector Lord is waiting for you, madam.

Oh, I was just inquiring about Miss Peake.

There's not you, sir.

Come in, Mrs. Ocean Brown.

Hello, darling.

Sir Rowland, would you join Mr. Warrender in the library?

I'd rather stay, if you don't mind.

I'll send for you if it should be necessary.

As you wish.

Please sit down, madam.

Oh, thrown you out?

Yes.

Poor Clarissa.

She's in there with the police.

Well, heaven help them.

Now, just a few simple questions.

Very well, but I'm afraid I don't know anything at all.

Did you know there was a body in that recess?

Of course not.

It's horrible.

Don't you think so?

Quite.

Now, when we searched this room,

why didn't you draw my attention to the recess?

Well, the idea never struck me.

I mean, we never use it.

The thought didn't come into my mind.

But you said you'd just been through there,

into the library.

Oh, you misunderstood me.

I meant that door.

Aye, sir, I certainly did misunderstand you.

Now then, you'd no idea when Mr. Costello got to the house

or what he came for.

I can't imagine.

Is there anybody here he might have wanted to see?

I don't know who.

I mean, who is there?

Mrs. Hailsham Brown, Mr. Costello came here.

He was killed.

His body was hidden in that recess and nobody heard anything.

It's quite extraordinary.

Extraordinary.

Fantastic.

That's all for the moment, Mrs. Hailsham Brown.

Not that way, please.

But I'd really rather prefer to join the others.

Later, later.

Jones?

And then we all came back from the club afterwards

and decided to play bridge.

Well, and then after that, we, of course, we decided...

No, no, no, no, no. That's no good.

Clarissa's already talking to the inspector.

We can never hope to get together on a credible story now.

All right. All right. Now, listen.

Now, then.

You went into Maidstone this evening and came back.

Why?

My stomach was acting up. That's why.

You let Mr. Costello into the house when he came this evening, didn't you?

Yes, sir.

Ever seen Mr. Costello before?

Never, sir.

It wasn't because of Mr. Costello that you came back.

I've told you, sir. My wife wasn't...

When your stomach's acting up, you don't go to the pictures.

Kindly allow your husband to answer my questions, Mrs. Elgin.

Now, then.

How long have you worked for Mrs. Elgin Brown?

Six weeks.

Before that, I've been having a little rest.

A little rest.

Of course, you realise in cases like this that references will be gone into very carefully?

Well, look, I wouldn't want to deceive you.

There was nothing really wrong.

It's just a case that the original references having got torn,

and I couldn't remember the exact wording.

So you wrote your own.

Well, I didn't mean any harm.

Why don't you ask that peak woman about her references?

I'm not interested in fake references at the moment.

I want to know what happened here tonight and what you know about Mr. Costello.

I've never set eyes on him before, but I've got a good idea why he came here.

Oh, why?

Blackmail.

He'd got something on her.

Who?

Mrs. Elgin Brown?

Go on, Alfred.

Tell him what you heard.

All right, I will.

Give us a chance.

I'd come into the room to ask them if it was all right for me to go, and I heard them.

Well, what did you hear?

Well, she said, uh, what a fool I've been.

Of course, it's blackmail.

Anything more?

No, they stopped when I came in.

All right.

Stay here, both of you.

I may need you later.

Very unpleasant business.

Mr. Birch.

But with you being a justice of the peace and all that, sir, I'd like to know what you have to say about it.

Nothing.

Nothing, sir?

Well, what do you expect me to say?

The woman opened the cupboard and there was the corpse.

Yes, and you know nothing about it, sir?

I've told you.

I didn't kill him.

I didn't even know him.

You'd heard of him?

Well, yes.

And I'd heard he was a pretty nasty piece of work.

In what way, sir?

Oh, I don't know.

The sort of man that women like and men of no use for.

That sort of thing.

Anything, sir?

Anything between him and the present Mrs. Aylsham Brown?

Clarissa?

Good heavens no, she wouldn't look twice at a man like that.

So you can't help us at all, sir?

Sorry, there it is.

You've no idea why you should come back to this house a second time this evening?

Not a clue.

Why the body was found in that recess?

Well, of course not.

Well, thank you, Mr. Birch.

What?

Thank you, sir.

That's all.

You've been a great help, Mr. Birch.

Oh.

Jones.

Mr. Birch.

Not that way, sir, if you please.

Through here, please.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

I've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

You've been a great help, sir.

Oh, reasonably well, thank you.

Constable?

Now, sir, perhaps you'd be kind enough

to give us your full name and address.

Yes, of course.

Jeremy Warrender, 344 Broad Street

and 34 Grosvenor Square.

Country Estate, Heppleston, Wiltshire.

Gentlemen of independent means.

Well, hardly.

I'm Private Secretary to Sir Lazarus Stein.

At least those were his addresses.

Oh.

Did you know Oliver Costello, sir?

Well, I'd heard of him, of course, Inspector,

but never met him until tonight.

You didn't see him when he came here earlier this evening?

No, no, not until after he was, you know.

Now, I'd gone to the club with the others.

We were dining there.

It was the servants' night out

and Mr. Birch asked us if we'd be his guests at the club.

Was, er...

Was Mrs. Eilsham Brown asked as well?

No.

No?

Well, I mean, she could have come, of course, if she'd wanted to.

Oh, I see. So she was asked, but she refused.

No, no, she didn't refuse.

I don't think you've got the idea.

The thing is, you see, her husband is rather late getting down here at night,

and, well, in that case, they generally have a scratch meal at home.

I see. So Mrs. Eilsham Brown was expecting her husband to dine here tonight.

Do you know if she was expecting him to go out again as soon as he came in?

Now, look here, Inspector, I really don't know what she expects.

Seems very odd to me that Mrs. Eilsham Brown should... should not go down to the club,

instead of remaining here and dining all by herself.

Well, you know you are forgetting that there's the child, Pippa.

I mean, she wouldn't want to leave her in the house by herself.

Unless, of course, she was preparing to receive a visitor of her own.

It's a very unpleasant thing to say, Inspector, and I'm quite sure it isn't true.

Now, look, sir, Costello came here to meet someone.

The servants are all out. Miss Peekers are on cottage.

There really was no one else he could have met except Mrs. Eilsham Brown.

Was there? Hmm? What? Oh, well, I really don't know.

Look, Inspector, all I can say is why not ask Mrs. Eilsham Brown?

I have done, sir.

Now, perhaps you'll tell me how you happened to come back here from the club.

Was that the original plan? Yes. I mean, no.

Which do you mean?

Well, look, Inspector, it went like this. We all went to the club together.

Rowley and Hugo went into dinner, and I went out and had a bit of practice on the putting green.

Later, when I rejoined them, somebody suggested bridge.

I said, "That's a splendid idea. Let's go back to the house and play."

So we did. So it was your idea.

I don't know whose idea it was. Hugo Purches, I think.

And you're right back here when, sir?

I can't say exactly. I suppose we left the club shorter before eight.

It was a five minutes' walk. And you played bridge?

Yes.

It was about, er, about 20 minutes before my arrival.

Surely you didn't have time to play two rubbers and begin a third.

Oh, no, no. That first rubber must have been yesterday's score, yes.

But only one person seems to have scored.

Surely four people score in a bridge game.

Yes, yes, I realise that. But I'm afraid we were a bit lazy about it and left it to Clarissa.

Did you know about the passageway between this room and the library?

You mean the place where they found the body?

Yes, that's what I mean.

Oh, I had no idea.

Absolutely fantastic bit of camouflage. I mean, you'd never guess, would you now?

Oh, no, not in a thousand years. I mean, you couldn't know there was a body in there, could you?

No, you could have knocked me over with a feather, as the saying goes.

I mean, absolute blood and thunder melodrama. I couldn't really believe my eyes.

Are these your gloves, Mr. Wanda?

No.

Oh, wait a minute.

Yes. Oh, yes, yes. Yes, they're mine, Inspector.

In fact, you wore them when you came back from the golf club.

That's right, yes. A bit of a nip in the air, you know.

I think you're mistaken. These have got Mr. Hailsham Brown's initials in them.

Well, you know, I mean, I've got a pair just like that. These, perhaps?

Oh, no, you don't catch me a second time. Not with that one. No, no.

I mean, you keep on showing me pairs of gloves. I don't know one from the other now, do I?

Three pairs of gloves, and yes, all with Mr. Hailsham Brown's initials in them. Curious. Very curious indeed.

Thank you, Mr. Wanda. That's all for now.

I hope you're not suggesting that I... Suggesting what?

No, no, no. Nothing, nothing, Inspector.

Oh, excuse me, sir. What's that?

Mr. Please, sir. Oh, of course.

Well, sir, what do you make of that, then? Elementary, my dear Watson.

Pass me the wazoo, John. Yes, sir.

Ah, let's see. Stein, Stein, L.M.L.P. Q.R. S.S.T.

Stein, Sir Lazarus. Chairman, Saxon-Arabian Oil Company, Gulf Petroleum Company.

Clubs, all those many... Recreations, Philately, Stamp Collection.

Golf Fishing, address 340 Broad Street, 34 Grosvenor Square. That's it.

What's that? It's a card, sir.

I can see it's a card. Where'd you get it?

Doesn't it, sir? Let's have a look.

It's a space. Blue.

What's that? Same pack. Come on, John. See if you can find it.

No ace of spades there. Remarkable, John. Quite remarkable.

Yes, sir. Remarkable.

All right. Get Delahaye.

Sir Ronald Delahaye, sir?

Yes.

The Inspector caught me on the bridge alley by all right.

And he found the gloves, too. I'm afraid I made an awful mess of things.

I knew it was all wrong, damn it.

We're sinking lower and lower into the blinking quicksand.

Now, I'd like to discuss the case with you, if I may, sir.

How very agreeable of you, Inspector.

Thank you, Sir Roland.

Now, you gentlemen were at the club eating a cold supper.

That's right.

And while we were at the table, Mrs. Hailsham Brown rang up to say that,

as our husband was going out unexpectedly,

it might be a good idea if the three of us came over here to make a four for bridge.

which we did.

And we'd been playing about twenty minutes or so when you turned up.

The rest you know.

Well, that's not quite Mr. Warner's account of the matter, sir.

Oh, isn't it?

What does he say, sir?

Well, he said that the suggestion to come back here and play bridge came from one of you three.

Mr. Birch, he thought.

Well, Inspector, you know as well as anybody that two people's account of the same thing seldom agrees.

In fact, if three people were to agree exactly, I should regard it as suspicious.

Very suspicious.

Yes, yes, that's true, sir.

Now, sir, I think that Mr. Costello came here to visit a particular person.

That could have been anyone except Mr. Birch, who doesn't live here.

You had, uh...

You had no reason for wishing to murder him had you, sir?

Is that an accusation, Inspector?

Oh, no, no, sir, no. It's more, uh, more an elimination.

Oh, I see.

How well did you know Mr. Warner, sir?

Oh, I met him here a couple of days ago. He's a friend of the Halesham Browns.

Seems a decent enough fellow.

Well, so much for Mr. Warner.

Which brings me to my next question.

How well do I know the Halesham Browns?

Mrs. Halesham Brown, Clarissa, is my ward for whom I have the deepest affection and admiration.

I see, sir.

Well, that answer makes certain things very clear.

Oh, does it?

Yes, sir.

Why did you come back here and pretend to play bridge?

Pretend?

Yes, sir.

This card was found under the sofa.

Now, you couldn't have played bridge without the ace of spades, could you, sir?

No.

Not very well.

And I also think that three pairs of Mr. Halesham Brown's gloves need some explanation.

There, I'm afraid I can't help you.

No, sir.

Now, Mrs. Halesham Brown knew the body was in that recess.

You may have hoped to put it there, I don't know.

But I think Costello came here to see her to obtain money by threats.

Threats of what?

Oh, I don't know, sir.

That'll come out later, no doubt.

But Mrs. Halesham Brown is a gay, young and attractive lady.

Costello was attractive to the ladies, so they say.

Inspector, don't you think you're entirely on the wrong track?

Why are you so certain Costello came here to see a person?

Why couldn't it have been a place?

What do you mean, sir?

When you mentioned the late Mr. Sellon, you said the narcotic squad took a great interest in him.

Yes.

Isn't there a possible link there?

Drugs, Sellon, Sellon's house?

Costello has been here once before, I understand.

Ostensibly to look at Sellon's antiques.

Supposing Costello wanted something in this house,

This desk, for instance.

The desk?

Somebody offered a ridiculous price for it.

Supposing it was the desk Costello wanted to examine or search, if you like,

and supposing someone followed him here, and that someone struck him down.

Your supposition being that this somebody put the body in the recess?

Exactly.

It'd have to be someone that knew the secret place.

Someone who knew the house in Sellon's time?

Yes.

No.

No, sir.

Nope.

That doesn't explain why Mrs. Aylsham Brown tried to prevent us looking in there.

She knew the body was in there.

Will you allow me to speak to my ward?

Yes, sir, but only in my presence.

That'll do.

Get Mrs. Aylsham Brown.

Yes, sir.

Well, how's Pippa?

She's fast asleep.

Where is everybody?

Well, Miss Peake's in there.

She's fast asleep, too.

And Rola's in there.

Still in there?

Will this helps from Brown come in, please?

Oh, what's he been up to?

Oh, what's he been up to?

Darling.

Will you please tell the inspector the truth?

The truth?

It's the only thing to do.

Thank you.

Now, madam, I'd like the true facts.

What are you up to?

Darling, will you please tell the inspector the truth?

The truth?

It's the only thing to do.

Thank you.

Now, madam, I'd like the true facts.

Well...

It was all very simple.

First of all, Oliver Costello left,

then Henry returned and left,

then I came in here with the sandwiches.

Sandwiches?

Yes, you see, Henry is collecting a very important diplomat

from abroad of Mr Jones.

Go on.

Then I returned in here and practically fell over the body,

recognised it as Oliver Costello and didn't know what to do.

Didn't it occur to you to find the place?

Yes, but I didn't think it would be very nice for Henry.

I see.

Well, I'm glad you understand,

because the body was absolutely dead.

there was nothing I could do about it.

And I thought it might as well be lying dead in Marsden Wood,

as in my drawing room.

How does Marsden Wood come into this?

Well, that was there where I was thinking of dumping it.

Only there wasn't time.

I see.

So you persuaded the three men to hide it in the recess?

Yes, it was very helpful of them, don't you think?

I don't believe a word of it.

There's only one reason why those three men would agree to tell a lie.

And what could that be?

If they believed or knew that you'd killed him.

Oh, very well.

I shall tell you the truth.

I think that would be wiser, madam.

I went into the kitchen to make the sandwiches for Henry and Mr Jones's return.

And I thought I heard very strange noises.

I was petrified.

I walked back through the hall with my sandwiches.

And I really did hear something.

Where?

In here.

Go on.

So I went to the hall stand.

And I got that heavy stick.

And I took it with me into the library.

And got into the recess that side.

So that you could see what was going on in here.

Exactly.

Then I pressed the button.

And there was a man standing.

Holding something bright and shining.

I thought it was a revolver.

I thought he was going to shoot me.

So I hit him with all my might.

Is it all right?

Yeah, fine.

Come on.

He fell.

It was Oliver Costello.

He was dead.

I was so frightened I rang the golf club.

They came over and I begged them to take the body somewhere.

But why?

Publicity.

My husband, his career.

I would have gone through with it if it hadn't been someone we actually knew.

And on top of that, Costello had been trying to blackmail you.

Blackmail?

Yes.

Well, that's silly.

But Elgin the butler overheard some talk about blackmail.

Elgin?

Yes.

Oh, of course.

Yes.

That was it.

That was what?

Well, you see, Oliver Costello heard that we were only paying ten guineas a week for this house furnished.

And he said to me, "Well, you must have some pull or is it blackmail?" And I said, "That's it. Blackmail." And that's what Elgin overheard."

Mrs. Elgin Browne, I hope you won't mind my saying this, but I find it very difficult to believe that you're only paying ten guineas a week for Cobblestone Court.

But then you don't believe anything I say. Now, I can't prove the other things, but I can prove this one. Here we are. Ten guineas a week furnished tenancy.

You're absolutely right. But this is extraordinary. Because I knew the estate was asking 50 guineas a week before you took it over.

Well, now, perhaps you'll believe some of the other things I've said.

Oh, I'm not doubting your final story, madam. We generally recognise the truth when we hear it.

Well, Inspector, everything all right?

Roley, I've told the Inspector everything. How I hit the man on the top of the head, and when I realised it was Costello, I thought it'd be much cosier in Marsdenwood.

Clarissa, what on earth have you been saying?

Oh, it's all right, sir. Mrs. Elgin Browne made a very false statement.

So it seems... It was the only thing to do.

Now, Mrs. Elgin Browne, perhaps you'll show me exactly where the man was standing when you came through that way.

Of course.

Jones?

Yes, I think he was standing about here.

I see. All right, Jones. Then the panel went back. You came through. It's gone.

The body. The body! The body's gone.

Yes.

What's this?

April Fool.

Jones!

What's happened to the body?

I don't know. Anyhow, it proves one thing. Costello opened this secret drawer.

Why didn't you tell the Inspector the truth?

I did tell him the truth, all except the bit about Peppa. He didn't believe me.

Then why did you stuff him up with all that nonsense?

Because he believed that.

You know, you're in a dickens of a jam. This could be manslaughter.

Self-defence.

This is the end of your pranks. I've had all I can take. I'm going to search Elgin Browne and tear the place apart.

And when I find the body, I'm going to charge a whole lot of you with impeding the investigation of a murder.

Well? Oh, Dr. Berry. Sorry I'm late. Well, where's the body?

Well, there was a body, but it seems to have vanished.

Do you mean to say you've brought me out here in a wild goose chase?

Really, Inspector?

There was a body. Wasn't there?

Yes, sir.

You didn't get jumpy. You know, I've been telling you you needed a rest.

I do not need a rest. Now, look, there was a body and I saw it.

Well, it doesn't seem to be here now. The best thing we can do is to go back to headquarters.

Yeah, I suppose so.

Good night, Inspector. Good night.

Go and search the kitchen quarters.

And take this. Go on, get a move on.

Yes, sir.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Don't worry. I'll find it.

Excuse me, I'm going to lie down.

Is it true? What? About the body?

Yes, it's disappeared.

Who took it?

Don't ask me. Where's that peak woman?

In the gun room.

Right.

What are you doing up here?

I'm just going to have a lie down.

Well, I suggest you use this room. We still have more searching to do.

I can't. That's Sir Rowland's room.

Madam, if you don't mind.

Don't mind.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Yes.

I thought it was such a good hiding place.

You mean you put it there?

Yes.

Is the inspector livid?

No, no.

He's just having hysterics.

Oh, good.

Miss Peake.

Why did you take it?

Because you've got to have a body before they can charge you with murder.

But she didn't kill him.

Well, if she didn't kill him, who did?

And in the meantime, the body remains in my bed.

Only for 24 hours.

Oh, thank you very much.

Now, you know, I've been doing a bit of thinking.

I dug a deep trench for the sweet peas this morning.

Look, we could bury the body in it and then plant the sweet peas on top.

They should do very well. Yes, I think so.

Now, the point is, who killed Costello?

Clarissa?

Peppa, why are you out of bed?

Well, I heard men talking, so I thought I'd come down.

Besides, I thought it might be true.

What might be true? The horrible dream about Oliver.

Oliver? What dream about Oliver? Tell me.

Well, I made this tonight. I melted down a wax candle.

I stuck a red-hot pin through it. I said the right words and everything.

But I couldn't do it quite as the book said. The book?

She showed it to me earlier, Clarissa. Something she'd bought at the second-hand bookstore.

Called it a recipe book, I believe. That's right.

It gives a hundred well-tried and trusty spells. It tells you how to destroy your enemy.

Is that what you did? Yes. It wasn't very like Oliver.

I couldn't get any cuttings of his hair. But it was as like him as I could make it. And then... I dreamed. Thought I came downstairs. He was there. Is it true? Did I kill him?

No, darling. No. But I came down. I came downstairs and I saw him dead. Yes, dear, but you didn't kill him. Somebody hit him over the head with a big stick.

You mean a... a golf club like Jeremy had. No, no, Pippa. Not a golf club. He means the big stick that's kept in the hall stand.

Oh, no. I didn't do that. I couldn't. I wouldn't have killed him, really. Of course not, darling.

What a fool I've been. I should have realised it was impossible. But Pippa told me she'd killed Oliver and I thought it was true.

You mean you thought it was Pippa? Yes, darling, yes. I see. That explains a lot, doesn't it? Yes.

Now I understand why you agreed to help her, Rowley. But hadn't we better tell the police about this latest development?

I don't know. She's told the police three stories already. Well, I feel like a cuppa. So do I. Join me? Thanks. I do it when I do.

I'm parched. After you? No, after you. Oh, well, just as you like. Well, darling, it's time you went back to bed. I'll take you up there. Come on.

Come on. Well, Clarissa? I'm so relieved I can hardly speak. But who was the real murderer? Oh, heaven knows. I should leave that one to the police.

But who phoned the police? Probably one of Costello's cronies. Why did Costello search the desk? And what about Miss Pippe? Why did she really move the body?

She probably wanted the exercise. Do you think she was trying to help me? And what is a woman like that doing as a gardener here? The way she fusses about this house, anybody would think she owned it. I've got an idea.

What? What was the name of Mr. Sellins' antique shop? Wait a minute. I can't remember.

Broly might know. Come on. Yes. Broly. What was the name of Sellins' antique shop? Oh, it had a double name. Sellins' sellin' sellin' brown.

That's it? Sellin' brown. And our name is Hailsham brown. And we got this place dirt cheap. Follow me? No. I'm lost.

Well, Sellins' partner is a woman and she lives in London. Today we had a telephone call. Somebody asking to speak to a Mrs. Brown. Not a Mrs. Hailsham brown. Just a Mrs. Brown.

Today, somebody murdered Oliver. Now, it wasn't Henry and it wasn't Hugo and it wasn't any of us and it wasn't Pippa, thank heaven. Who was it?

It's as I told the inspector. It's an outside job. Somebody followed Oliver here. Why should they? He didn't expect to see me here. He thought this house belonged to somebody else. He was expecting to meet Mrs. Brown, Sellins' partner.

But wouldn't he know that you and Henry had the house? Wouldn't Miranda know?

Miranda communicates through her lawyers. No. Oliver was surprised to see me. That's why he made the excuse about Pippa. Then he pretended to go away, but he came back.

Peaks Cottage. Peaks Cottage. And what precisely are you doing? I'm looking for

something. Oh no no no you could be arrested for that you know. It's not half as bad as being a murderer. A murderer? Look let's get out of here quickly shall we? It's all right. I found it.

Found what? I'm sorry Miss Peake but I had to know. Had to know? Your real name and now I know it. Correspondence in the name of Brown. You're Mrs. Brown aren't you? Yes I'm Mrs. Brown. Selen's partner and you own Copleston Court. You inherited it with the business. You tried to find a tenant with the name of Brown but you settled for Hailsham Brown. True.

Yes, quite true. Look, Charles Selham was murdered. He discovered something very valuable. I don't know how, I don't even know what. Whoever killed him found nothing. Probably because it wasn't in the shop, it was here at Cobblestone Court.

I felt sure the murderer would return sooner or later, so I wanted to keep watch. But to do that, I had to have a dummy Mrs. Brown. It didn't worry you that a perfectly innocent woman, Mrs. Hailsham Brown, would be in danger? I'm sorry, I never thought of that. But yesterday, when those men came and offered that ridiculous price for that desk, I knew I was on the right track. But I swear there's nothing of value in that desk.

Did you examine the secret drawer? Secret drawer? No. Why, is there one? Pepper found one, but there was nothing in it, just a few old autographs. Clarissa, I'd rather like to see those autographs again. I suggest we go back to the house at once. Go on!

Oh, yes!

What do you mean the woman's real name is Brown? I'll tell you later. Clarissa, where are those autographs? In that box, the shell one. Oh, yes.

Ah, thank you, I'll tell you later. Thanks. Now, then, let's have a look. Victoria Regina, God bless her. Faded brown ink, John Ruskin. Seems authentic. Robert Browning. The paper's not as old as it ought to be.

What do you mean? During the war, I was in the Foreign Office and I had some experience with invisible ink. But what could Charles Sellern have written in invisible ink that's worth 25,000 pounds?

Nothing at all, dear lady. But it's occurred to me it might be a question of safety. Safety? Costello was suspected of supplying drugs. Sellern, so the inspector tells us, was questioned several times by the narcotic squad. There's a connection there, don't you think?

Of course, it may be just a foolish fancy of mine, but it occurs to me that Sellern may have written something on this paper in invisible ink. Shall we try a little experiment? How? Just a little gentle heat. Let's go into the kitchen.

I can't bear it if nothing happens. Oh, you mustn't expect too much. Hello? Hello? Here we are. Yes, it's writing. We've got it. What is it? A list of one, two, three, four, five, six names and addresses. Distributors in the drug racket, I should say. And one of the names is Oliver Costello.

That's why he came here to get this. And somebody must have followed him. And killed him. Extraordinary. What do you think about it, Jeremy? Well, I don't really know what to say, Rowley. It seems a little...

Inspector Lord would like to see you all again in the drawing room, please. With pleasure! Excuse me. Thank you all.

If you'd like to wait here a moment, the inspector won't keep you long.

Jeremy!

Jeremy!

Why? Hello, Clarissa. Oh, I wouldn't advise you to call out. It might be dangerous.

Do you know that never in all my supposings did I dream that you were the murderer?

Didn't you, Clarissa?

You came back from the club and killed Oliver Costello.

Peppa was right. She actually saw you carrying the stick. Only it wasn't your golf stick.

Now be quiet. Come away from the door.

No, you're quite right. It wasn't my golf club.

Why did you do it, Jeremy?

Because of this.

An envelope?

Yes, yes.

But the stamp on it is worth 25,000 pounds.

Here. Where's Jeremy? And Clarissa?

There.

Do you think you'll get away with it?

Yes, of course I will.

The badge rat! Get the inspector! Jeremy!

Yes, sir!

Wait a minute, let's go!

What's going on?

Take your front window.

Yes, sir.

* Music *

Darlings, you've all been a wonderful help today, but don't you think we should go to bed now?

Bed?

I'm all set for the night.

Whoopee!

Yes, of course!

Come on, Hugo, give us a song.

That's enough.

Theresa!

It's Henry and the PIVs!

You mean the VIPs?

Click!

Who...

What the devil are you all doing here?

We are pulling ourselves together.

* Laughter*

Darling, Miss Peake just popped in to discuss her vegetables.

No, she did, did she?

Where are they?

They're in the garden.

No, no.

I came ahead.

They're following with an escort of motorcycle police.

* Music *

* Music *

* Music *

* Music *

* Music *

Oh!

We're surrounded.

I know, quick, everyone into one of the bedrooms.

Come on, Hugo.

And Clarissa, get those bottles cleared.

And get the ashtrays clean.

Oh!

May I take your coat, sir?

It's no good.

Oh, it's no good.

What a pity.

Elgin's letting them in.

Elgin's letting them in.

I'm done for.

Clarissa.

Henry.

Henry.

I'm terribly sorry.

Really.

It's not my fault.

There was a murder.

And the police were here.

Clarissa, listen to me.

Supposing you were in a room with four people who had no business to be there.

What do you suppose you do?

Well, I'd, um, I'd open up the hidden panel and then I'd hide them all in the recess.

Oh, for heaven's sake, Clarissa. Can't you think of anything better than that? There you are, really. I...

What's happened? Where is everyone?

Now, do you see, darling? There is a secret panel and it was quite true about the murder. Although you don't believe me, do you? Good luck.

Well, sir. Good gracious. I mean, good luck. No, I don't. I mean, thank you, darling.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever believes me.