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1
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:10,480
Girl, I got a voice message.
2
00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:14,080
Hey, boys. It's me, Teddy.
3
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:16,800
I have an idea for the final show.
4
00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:18,920
-Okay?
-Here it is...
5
00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:21,800
We'll give the audience a great time.
6
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:23,160
Like, go all out.
7
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:25,600
And I was thinking
Antoine could open the show.
8
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,960
Go out on stage
and perform some wild number.
9
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,400
And kind of host the show.
10
00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:34,320
Okay.
11
00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:36,320
I don't think that's such a cool idea.
12
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,040
Kids! I'm doing my own show tonight!
13
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,480
-Okay.
-Just saying, in case you want to come.
14
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,360
Ernst and Percy,
you can think of something else
15
00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:47,360
that we can give the audience.
16
00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,560
The theme is "giving."
17
00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:51,640
-Today, it's on us.
-Phenomenal.
18
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,360
-Love you.
-Fuck off.
19
00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,320
-Have a nice day.
-Yep.
20
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:58,560
It's going well.
21
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:03,120
I'm going to smash it.
I'll absolutely smash it.
22
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,440
It's going to be
a state of emergency in there today.
23
00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:16,440
THE TEDDY TECLEBRHAN SHOW
24
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:23,960
Let's go, you little bitches.
25
00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,680
People always ask, "How can you be sexy?"
26
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,440
-I say, "Why's a banana curvy?"
-Don't ask me
27
00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,920
I'm a sexy guy, of course I am
28
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,800
Everyone says it, even Helene
29
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,680
-And I say
-Don't ask me
30
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:40,280
Probably kissed by angels
On my forehead, neck, chest
31
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,000
-Everywhere, that's why I'm so sexy
-Don't ask me
32
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,920
I'll tell you one thing
It's not that easy
33
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:49,320
Being sexy
It's hard, dude, don't ask me
34
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:52,760
I'm a queen
35
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,960
Not a princess, not a prince, queen
36
00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:58,920
Freddie Mercury
37
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,080
Not a prince, I'm a queen
38
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,000
Walking around on the street with my lady
39
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:08,240
-People ask me, "How hot is she?"
-Don't ask me
40
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:11,400
Another guy comes around the corner
Takes a look and says
41
00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,600
"What's with her?"
I say, "That's just how she stands"
42
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:18,680
"She always stands a little crooked
Always a bit hunched"
43
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,960
-"That's Helene, that's how she stands."
-So what?
44
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,520
"Let her stand there
She rocks anyway"
45
00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:27,000
"She's into it, boy
Don't look at me, don't ask me"
46
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Let us live, live and let live
47
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Let us live, live and let live
48
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Let us live, live and let live together
49
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,440
Let's live together
Freddie Mercury, together
50
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,920
Not a princess, not a prince, queen
51
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:48,960
Fredie Mercury
52
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,400
Not a princess, I'm a queen
53
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:55,520
I'm a queen
54
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,720
Not a princess, not a prince, queen
55
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:01,880
Freddie Mercury
56
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,920
Let me know when you get here
I'll buzz you in
57
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,840
-Not a princess, not a prince...
-Queen!
58
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:24,800
Freddie Mercury!
59
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:28,120
Let me know when you get here,
I'll buzz you in.
60
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:34,000
Ladies and gentlemen, what can I say,
today's topic is "giving."
61
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,240
That means we'll be giving
everything we got.
62
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,240
Whether that's telling a story,
63
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,760
whether it's material things.
64
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,880
And the first of us to decide what to give
65
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,240
was Alex.
66
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,400
Alex has prepared something.
67
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,280
He was practicing all morning.
68
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,880
You prepared something.
69
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,000
The number you practiced earlier.
70
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:08,760
Don't leave me hanging here like that,
just show it to us.
71
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,720
Show them the thing from this morning.
72
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:13,920
Cool.
73
00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:16,640
Awesome. Moving on to the next topic.
74
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,120
It's going great, right? Teamwork.
75
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:23,240
Jürgen?
76
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,240
Yes, Antoine?
77
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,760
As you can see, it's going kind of badly.
78
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,480
-Yes?
-What I had planned with Alex.
79
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,360
This is refusal to work.
80
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,000
-Just saying.
-I didn't know either,
81
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,800
but maybe you could tell
another story about Stotzenhof?
82
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:42,880
Of course.
83
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,160
Sure. Of course I can tell a story.
84
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,880
Once upon a time...
85
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,480
way back in the day,
86
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,240
I was walking down the street.
87
00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,240
What happened? Red light.
88
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,080
Okay, I'll wait.
89
00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:06,600
I look to the left, right, no one's there.
90
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,920
Next traffic light. Yellow.
91
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,360
Good sign, right?
92
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,320
I look to the left, Stotzenhof.
93
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,680
I'm just puk... Hey.
94
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,240
Hey!
95
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:27,440
Hey!
96
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,280
Just talking about it, man...
97
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:34,280
I'm puking, because I'm...
98
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,120
I had just been drinking.
So, I'm puking...
99
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,960
I go into the Stotzenhof,
"Does anyone have anything to drink?"
100
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,560
"Of course. Here, sangria."
101
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:48,480
I...
102
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:54,080
Sangria! I drank that with no problems.
103
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,120
Back and forth.
104
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,760
Twenty years later,
Stotzenhof was torn down.
105
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,920
Was that the kind of story
you meant, Jürgen?
106
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:06,760
-I thought it was good. Interesting.
-Awesome.
107
00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:09,560
As long as the audience
can take something from it.
108
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,600
Today is about giving.
109
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,400
Ladies and gentlemen...
110
00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:20,280
The quality level of the entertainment
will stay the same.
111
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:24,640
We're going to put on
something by me, Antoine Burtz.
112
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:28,440
It's the casting show I did
three quarters of a year ago
113
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,440
with Irim Berbes, I mean Iris Berben,
114
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,560
Hein Lautenbach, Karine Herfurth,
115
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:36,880
Alfred Schuch...
116
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,120
Emilia Schüler, and so on.
117
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,360
I'll show you how the whole thing ends.
118
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:50,440
Because who knows
if any of them got the role.
119
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:51,800
That's the question.
120
00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,480
Let's tell them how it went.
121
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,360
-Yes, he asked for it.
-Hello.
122
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:04,680
Eight bags of sugar.
123
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:06,400
ANTOINE'S CASTING
THE BIG DECISION
124
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:07,400
-Hallo.
-Hi.
125
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:08,520
Do you know something?
126
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,640
Yes, I looked at everything.
127
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,600
At all of your tapes again just now.
128
00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,440
Results... Want to hear about your tests?
129
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:19,800
-Yes, of course.
-Of course.
130
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,640
You've already played some parts, right?
131
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,200
Because I saw some of your stuff.
132
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,120
Good thing you're sitting down.
133
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,480
Let's put it this way...
134
00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,600
It was fatal. For all of you.
135
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,880
-"Fatal"?
-Not good, or what?
136
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,680
-Fatal?
-Fatal.
137
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,400
-Are we done?
-In my entire life...
138
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,360
I've been in the industry for ages.
139
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:48,000
In my entire life,
I'd never seen anything like that.
140
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:49,840
Never. From any of you.
141
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:51,760
-Really?
-Catastrophic.
142
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,440
I...
143
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,960
I just tried everything
in post-production.
144
00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:00,560
With AI, too. Even AI said,
"Hey, I give up."
145
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:01,960
"I can't do it."
146
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:06,400
Even the intelligence said, "No."
147
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:10,080
-"That's the most I can do."
-If you're controlling the intelligence...
148
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,320
Excuse me, but honestly.
149
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:15,120
-This can't be...
-The script's so shitty.
150
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,560
-You can't even say the lines properly.
-Honestly?
151
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,960
I googled what you all do.
152
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:25,520
Heiner, I didn't know
you'd done a couple of movies.
153
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,800
Iris, for you, to be honest...
154
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:30,600
Never seen them.
155
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,520
I had no idea. Karoline...
156
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,360
-Okay...
-Just spit it out.
157
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:41,720
Just say it.
158
00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,480
-I'm going to do it myself.
-Wow.
159
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,160
All by myself. Yeah.
160
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,160
-I'm going to act it all by myself.
-Okay.
161
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,880
Not you. Nor you, you or you.
162
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,880
You, you, you. Nobody. Just me.
163
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,760
I'll be Schnitzer the Snitch.
164
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,640
-I'll be the owner of the garage.
-Okay, cool.
165
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,720
I'll be the long-distance runner.
166
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:09,160
Because I have long legs.
167
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,640
-I don't know if you noticed.
-Yes.
168
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:16,360
Okay. I guess I'll never film anything
with Amazon again.
169
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:21,320
-There are other streaming companies.
-Yeah, I'm going to Netflix.
170
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:22,280
Fuck you.
171
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,720
You know that's wasteful, right?
172
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:28,440
"Fatal," he said.
173
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:29,520
THE END
174
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:30,440
Thank you!
175
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:12,480
They're truly disgusting.
176
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,520
Here, I'll take some over to the audience.
177
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,520
Who wants some?
178
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,760
They taste so good, hey.
179
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:31,600
The topic for today is giving,
so we're just giving out stuff.
180
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,080
Because it's just obvious...
181
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,160
Oprah Winfrey gives out cars.
182
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,760
And we give out popcorn.
183
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:40,960
Or popsicles.
184
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,160
You okay?
185
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,320
Are you a dancer, too?
186
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,480
Are you a dancer?
187
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,640
-Me?
-No, I meant him.
188
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,720
So cool, hey. Eat some cookies, too.
189
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,480
Could you take this bag
and pass them out yourself?
190
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:03,800
You should help out, too.
Why do I have to do it all myself?
191
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:10,200
If you're wondering whether this show
will appear exactly like this on Prime,
192
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,520
with the handing out of popsicles,
193
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,640
I can assure you
194
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:20,480
it'll be shown exactly like this
on the streaming platform.
195
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:28,800
Jürgen, what should we do now?
196
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,840
Let the others pass out a few things.
197
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,760
Are you saying that was it from me?
198
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:38,240
Just come out here and hand out stuff,
that was my performance?
199
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,440
Do you think they're happy now,
since we gave them popsicles?
200
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,400
Do you think that? Jürgen?
201
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,800
Jürgen!
202
00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:48,320
Does that make them happy?
203
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,200
-I think so.
-What do you mean?
204
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,360
They're fucking bored.
205
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,200
Oh, man.
206
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,880
I want to kick something.
207
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:05,920
This is bullshit.
208
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:07,840
Every time!
209
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:11,360
Fucking bullshit.
210
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:44,040
So...
211
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,240
I just came out for a minute because...
212
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,440
Percy and Antoine
have been running the show.
213
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,400
So I thought I'd come out for a bit, too,
214
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,360
since I've been watching from backstage.
It's going great...
215
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:59,680
I'll take this chance... I'll leave now,
I, as Teddy, just wanted to say this.
216
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:03,120
Thanks to everyone who came today.
To everyone
217
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:04,560
watching at home.
218
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:07,480
Well, not now, but later.
219
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:09,680
Thanks.
220
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,600
I also have to say
221
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,440
that this has been the very first show
222
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,000
in which my large team and I
223
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,560
have tried to bring together
224
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,560
the entire Teddy universe
without a real format.
225
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:31,360
It's the first time
it's actually personal, with Stotzenhof,
226
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,880
the youth center
where I used to hang out with my friends.
227
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:37,240
That's why there's a lot
of searching and finding out.
228
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:40,400
Sometimes you find out,
sometimes you don't, or you leave it open.
229
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,960
But it's definitely my world.
230
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,280
It's what happens inside me,
how I go through life.
231
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,080
More or less.
232
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,680
So thank you for being here.
233
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,720
Hello, this is Frank Schüttler speaking.
234
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:56,720
Since I was informed by Ernst Riedler
235
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:58,880
about the auditions in my absence,
236
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:03,280
I'd like to bring some clarity
about Antoine Burtz' behavior.
237
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:07,600
So, Mr. Burtz recently undertook
an internship at my casting agency.
238
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:09,720
But he made a bad impression
239
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,960
because instead of fulfilling
his actual functions,
240
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,680
he wanted to take over production,
the script,
241
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,600
and the main role of the project.
242
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:21,320
I would therefore like to give
some tips to Mr. Burtz.
243
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,680
First of all, the casting director
doesn't write the script.
244
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:29,080
Second, actors aren't liable
for the costs of the project.
245
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,400
And third,
246
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,760
nobody would go to an audition
247
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:36,600
if the title of the project
was "Schnitzer the Snitch."
248
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,600
Can't I just enjoy my vacation for once?
249
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,880
Jürgen, honestly, what was that?
250
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:52,000
-I don't know either.
-Doesn't make any sense.
251
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,360
Exactly. Operator,
put me through to Jürgen.
252
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,560
Yes, to the director. Exactly.
253
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:01,600
There he is. Jürgen.
254
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:03,480
Well? How are things?
255
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,560
Today's topic is giving,
256
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,760
and you have some...
Let's call it "footage"?
257
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,840
You can speak English, right? Footage.
258
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,760
In it, you can clearly see
259
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,400
that Antoine...
260
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:18,480
How Antoine carries out...
261
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,480
a scam.
262
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:23,840
So, if we could show that on the show,
263
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:27,280
so that he'll go to prison soon,
that would be great, Jürgen.
264
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,080
Afterwards, we can have a beer.
265
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,280
Yes, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
266
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,480
See you later, man.
267
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,720
I'm actually here
to do an audition for Frankie.
268
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,240
Something happened.
269
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,920
-Does "paragliding" mean anything to you?
-Yes, of course.
270
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:01,880
What about "naked paragliding"?
271
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,640
"Naked Paragliding"? Sounds exciting.
272
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,040
So he did that?
273
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,240
And then he got stuck.
274
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,000
Yep. On a tree.
275
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:17,880
Poor guy. I hope he recovers soon.
276
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,920
He's a free-diver,
but he was just snorkeling.
277
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,640
He was just in a kiddie pool.
278
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:29,000
It was a mindfuck.
He thought he was free-diving.
279
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:33,120
Then he dove into the pool.
280
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,280
But it was only 30 centimeters deep.
281
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:38,840
Then he came back up,
282
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,440
looked around to see if anyone saw.
A lot of people did.
283
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,360
They all went, "We saw it!"
284
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:45,520
Okay, but is he alright?
285
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:50,600
In consideration...
In consideration of his condition.
286
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:56,440
I know, Frank.
287
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,480
I was expecting Frank Schüttler.
288
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:00,040
He couldn't make it, sadly.
289
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,800
-Okay.
-I don't know if you heard,
290
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:04,960
he's emigrating.
291
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:07,200
For professional reasons or...
292
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,800
He wanted to stay,
293
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,800
but his wife said, "We're leaving."
294
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,880
Then he said, "But why?"
295
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:18,400
And she said,
"I'll explain it on the way."
296
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,000
Smart woman.
297
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:26,080
His wire-haired dachshund bit him.
298
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,160
Very aggressive dog.
299
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,080
He bit him,
300
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,960
and then, as a reflex, Frank...
301
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,280
He used to do kung fu for many years,
302
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,800
he kicked the dog.
303
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,000
And the dog went flying.
304
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:40,960
Sad story. Do you want to hear the rest?
305
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,280
Then Frank grabbed him,
306
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,080
the dog, like this.
307
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,040
Then the dog... everywhere.
308
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:49,800
Then Frank did this to him.
309
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,440
Then they bit each other.
310
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,280
He was ice-skating.
311
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,200
And then he...
312
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,520
-At the...
-He fell on his face.
313
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,480
-Yeah?
-Totally, yes. And now...
314
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:09,160
He wanted to learn a trick.
315
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,800
-Which one?
-Pirouette.
316
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,080
Pirouette, okay.
317
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:15,400
He's still practicing it,
while wearing a cast.
318
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:16,960
Got it.
319
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,080
-Antoine?
-Yes?
320
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:26,080
Where are you going?
321
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,760
I just wanted to see
if the door was closed. It is.
322
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,680
It's closed. Completely closed.
323
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,520
Closed. The bench's here,
everything's okay back here.
324
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,240
Are you okay?
325
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:38,480
Great hair.
326
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,400
Let's keep going, right?
327
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,560
Go outside and get the car ready.
328
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,200
Wait outside.
329
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,200
We're getting the hell out of here.
330
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,040
I screwed up.
331
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,200
Ladies and gentlemen,
332
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,800
before I get a move on,
333
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,160
I'd like to perform my new song for you.
334
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:15,800
Because...
335
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,200
The song is called
336
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,480
"I'm Just Heading Out."
337
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:29,720
You know?
338
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:34,800
If the police come by
339
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,560
to check you.
340
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,080
"Whoops, can't right now,
I'm just heading out."
341
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,200
"Bye-bye, it's been nice."
342
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,080
"Bye, I had a nice time."
343
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,320
"Bye-bye, it's been nice."
344
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:47,760
"Bye, I had a nice time."
345
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,240
Bye-bye, it's been nice.
346
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,240
Just so you know the chorus.
347
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:55,320
Awesome.
348
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,440
So, should we perform it?
349
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,160
Awesome. Drop it.
350
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,760
Let's get the mood back up.
351
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,440
Take it to another level.
352
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,040
Come on! Phil, what's up?
353
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,880
A big round of applause
for Phil from the bus stop.
354
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:14,880
What's going on here?
355
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:17,800
It's crazy here.
356
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,400
My goodness. It's the premier.
357
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:23,720
Screw it.
358
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,480
Hello
359
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:27,720
I'm back
360
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,000
Back on track, like a train conductor
361
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,720
Tickets please, show me your tickets
362
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:35,080
If you forgot yours
Please stay seated
363
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,560
Today is free of cost, a kind of present
364
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,080
From your humble Antoine, a present
365
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,400
The conductor is tripping
366
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,880
Bright colors, Palm Beach, fine rib
367
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,680
Lollipops in all colors
Cake, cookies with chocolate
368
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:48,720
No need to pay
369
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,200
Everyone asks, "Is this free
or do we need to pay?"
370
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,720
Chill out
This is Antoine's fave free store
371
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,960
Yeah, yeah, yeah, lean back
372
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,720
Please fall into happiness
Everyone who showed up today
373
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,040
Gets a steak, no layovers here
374
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:02,440
We're going full speed non-stop
375
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:04,800
Inside, it's cool
Outside, jet flame vibes
376
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,640
Bye-bye, it's been nice
Bye-bye, it's been nice
377
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,920
Bye-bye, it's been nice
I'm just heading out
378
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,400
Bye-bye, it's been nice
Bye-bye, it's been nice
379
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,760
Bye-bye, it's been nice
I'm just heading out
380
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,080
Bye-bye, it's been nice
Bye-bye, it's been nice
381
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,680
Bye-bye, it's been nice
I'm just heading out
382
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:20,920
Bye-bye, it's been nice
383
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:22,560
I have something to say.
384
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,440
Flower-power woman
Seeks farmer with a heart
385
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,400
Farmer seeks a wife, backwards
They're both mad, heartbreak
386
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,320
You know what I mean, right?
I'll do it again.
387
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,280
Flower-power woman
Seeks farmer with a heart
388
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:38,920
Farmer seeks a wife, backwards
They're both mad, heartbreak
389
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,080
Please stand up
390
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,760
This is your dance teacher speaking
Left, right, booty shake
391
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,800
Go-go dance, backflip, crisscross
392
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,400
Cross step, turntable position, Hollaback
393
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,960
Please stand up
This is your dance teacher speaking
394
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,440
Left, right, booty shake
Go-go dance, backflip
395
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:00,640
Walk in, half sweep
396
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,120
Knee drop, smile sweet
397
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:06,440
Bye-bye, it's been nice
398
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:08,720
I'm just heading out
399
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:13,560
I'm just heading out
400
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,480
I'm just heading out
401
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:21,880
See you in a minute.
402
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:03,040
Should we throw a little party
before we all go home?
403
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,720
Okay. One, two, three, four!
404
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:19,400
Wrong turn.
405
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:25,040
I'm just heading out
406
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,840
Like, "Let's put a little more."
407
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,080
She'd put it in
and knead the dough. You're laughing.
408
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:35,680
She went around
beating up the neighborhood.
409
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:39,520
She was completely off her head.
410
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,040
She went to prison.
411
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:44,360
Can you do it in English, too?
"I don't was it."
412
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,960
R. Kelly is in prison, Theo. Teddy.
413
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,280
My God, my son's called Theo.
414
00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:56,920
I get them mixed up sometimes.
415
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:00,800
You have the same eyes.
416
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,680
Can we do one more,
417
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,120
where you find out you're not the father?
418
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:16,080
Action!
419
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,040
You're not my son.
420
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,680
I know because I did a rapid test.
421
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,280
Does that even exist?
A rapid paternity test?
422
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:34,920
Yes, it exists. Online.
423
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,680
And thanks to that,
I found out you're not my son.
424
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,480
-What?
-I'm fed up. I'm leaving.
425
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:56,800
I'm fewming!
426
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:03,120
Wait and see.
427
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,680
You stole something from me. My wallet.
428
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,320
Hey, who are you?
429
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,600
David. David Alaba.
430
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:34,920
Awesome, got it!
431
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:40,640
Thank you very much!
432
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,800
THE TEDDY TECLEBRHAN SHOW
29471
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