Original subtitles

Some of The Teddy Teclebrhan Show content caused irritation

among the studio audience and also with Teddy Teclebrhan himself.

And with Iris Berben. Especially with Iris Berben.

We would also like to thank all the other prominent guests

for stopping to ask questions at some point.

The "F" in "Teddy Teclebrhan Show" stands for "Feedback Culture."

That's why our editorial team met with the boss for a discussion.

With all three of them, that is.

How are you guys doing?

You seem a little concerned.

CONFERENCE ROOM FEEDBACK SESSION

Because of production?

And the boys, right?

-Them, yeah. -The boys.

-Your boys. -Did something happen?

TWO HOURS EARLIER

Aurelia? Svenny, Tina!

We've already been in here for ten minutes, Percy.

I have an idea for a performance.

Ideas.

Ever heard of a corps de ballet?

Like Swan Lake.

TWO HOURS BEFORE THAT

I thought of something for the show.

Hocus pocus!

What happened now? It's whole again.

I just think...

They sometimes have a different understanding of their...

of their area...

than we think they should have.

The whole show is about poultry.

I'll do the spoon thing.

So I'll need 40 spoons.

Sometimes they don't work.

And then you come out, like, "cluck, cluck, cluck."

If any problems come up at all,

then just talk to them. You can talk to them.

Have you ever seen contemporary theater?

I'd like to have a hairless cat.

And a flamethrower.

That should be enough for now.

I'll submit the other ideas by fax.

Let's be honest, what can I do?

-What can I do about it? -No, of course...

There's nothing you can do.

Hello?

I'll come down.

The show is starting.

THE TEDDY TECLEBRHAN SHOW

Welcome!

A big round of applause for the band.

Nice.

Today...

We have a lot planned for today.

As you've already heard,

we're going to have great music.

We've got some sketches.

We're going to have magic today. Lots of magic.

And we'll have some stuff from Antoine and Percy.

We have absolutely no idea what that'll be.

But hopefully it'll be good.

We're very optimistic.

So I'm going to head down there.

In the meantime, I'll send Deezy out.

Deezy is a dancer from Angola.

And he's going to show us

Afrohouse moves with kuduro music.

Enjoy.

DEEZY PERFORMS "AFROHOUSE & KUDURO"

UP NEXT - PERCY PRESENTS THE WEATHER

PERCY PRESENTS THE WEATHER

The rest of you, come on in for the weather dance.

Come on in and help me end the weather.

There were clouds, then sun, so good riddance.

Sun, where's the sun?

Where's the thunderstorm?

Where's the hail?

Throw it away!

Throw...

What was that?

I'll get a slipped disc if I do it again. But it's up to you.

We're a corps de ballet

from Wuppertal.

And we've taken it upon ourselves

to present the weather.

So we've...

First, I'd like to thank everyone who's supported us

over the last few weeks.

We sequestered ourselves

until we could pull off the choreography.

So that's why...

I'd like to thank Saskia for putting up with the whole thing.

And even though Paula...

Sometimes... I think I'm gonna throw up.

And let's not forget

about Ann-Katrin...

So that's why I wanted to...

So cool, hey.

At this point, feel free to buzz off, like we planned.

Hi, everybody... I'm glad you're here.

I bet most of you didn't know that I do ballet professionally.

So cool, hey!

I've been performing here for a week now, hey,

but there's something

that's basically

very stressful for me.

It's that, basically, Antoine,

whose name makes me want to gag,

is coming up with all kinds of shit here,

which I, by the way...

No, I am saying it.

He comes up with all this shit

which I've had enough of.

Like when he keeps showing us that dumb-ass audition thing,

and the whole audience is watching, thinking,

"What is this trash I'm watching here?"

And I have to stand up for it.

Looking at his stupid fucking face.

Oh, man. See for yourselves, form your own opinion.

That pile of shit, I'm not joking.

It's me.

ANTOINE'S CASTING ONE DAY AFTER THE CASTING

Jack the Whisperer.

-Hello? -Is everything okay?

Sorry.

Hey. I'm Albrecht.

Why are you here?

For the audition.

Too late. It's over.

It was yesterday.

Yesterday. Over.

It's been over for a while. 15 minutes late?

-Okay. -That's fine. But you're a whole day late.

-No. -Do you see anyone else here?

Fuck.

-Who are you again? -Albrecht.

You want to become an actor?

Okay.

Thanks.

I like it when up-and-coming youngsters commit.

When they want it, you know? I can tell you're hungry.

Thirsty, actually.

-Do you need something to drink? -May I?

Sorry, not only am I late, I'm also demanding things.

You know what? Never mind. I'm fine.

Usually people bring their own Tupperware of water to the casting.

Just so you know.

Dimitri!

Dirk!

The man is dying of thirst here!

You don't do a single thing around here, you little shit!

We're casting for bit-bit-bit part.

-A bit-bit-bit part. -Okay.

A little itty-bitty part.

I'm open to anything.

-I'll tell you about the role. -Okay.

You come in... Wanting to ask for directions on the street.

But then you fall in love with the person you're asking.

A trucker.

Trucker Ronny...

Should I just imagine him, or... You'll play him.

-So I'm driving next to you? -Running.

-I'm running alongside you? -I'm driving at 40 kilometers an hour.

You're a good sprinter.

-Is this accurate? -You want the role or not?

Okay, sorry. I just wanted to... Okay.

It looked like you were doing aerobics anyways.

We want a full sprint.

You'll fall in love with Trucker Ronny while sprinting.

Hey, sorry.

If I run over there to the left, where do I end up?

What?

If I turn left up there, do you know where that road goes?

Hey! Get your act together!

Hey!

Excuse me.

Get the fuck away from my...

-Get the fuck away from my truck! -Excuse me.

Excuse me?

-What? -Can I hitch a ride?

You little pervert.

Did you act like you were in love? Because I didn't see it.

I've never fallen in love at 40 kilometers an hour.

TO BE CONTINUED...

How are you doing?

Awesome.

Awesome. Crazy.

What's going on here?

Where am I?

Where am I?

Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

-What's up? -Where did you come from?

-It's magic. -Crazy.

Ladies and gentlemen, here's Dannero.

-How's it going? -Good. You?

-Good, thanks. You? -Good. You?

-Good, thanks. You? -Good.

-How are you? -Good, thanks.

-You? -Hanging in there.

-Good, thanks. I'm super happy. -Great.

But we have to move on, they're waiting for us.

-Totally. -Everything okay otherwise?

-Are you happy? -Well...

-Hanging in there. -Hanging in there!

I'm just asking.

-You're a magician, right? -Yes.

So you can do magic tricks.

Not just that.

-Crazy. -I'd say I do magic tricks,

but I'm also a mentalist.

A mentalist deals with people's psyches.

Yeah, so we're gonna do a cool mix

-of those. -I can tell by your answers...

what you have in mind.

What do you think?

Should we try something out?

First I'd like to try something out with you.

-Sure. -We have...

-a block of wood. -Okay.

We have four paper bags, they all have blocks of wood in them.

But there's one dangerous object in the game, too.

You can check it out. It's a sharp

-nail. -Yes.

So we put it through here.

Wonderful.

Let's call it

our element of danger.

Watch carefully.

Of course. I'll always know where it is.

Easy-peasy.

You aren't supposed to know where the nail is.

Neither should the audience.

-You can turn around. -Awesome.

And now you'll also...

very quickly...

-Mix them up? -Yes.

Don't look inside, or you'll know where the nail is.

Yes, of course.

-Ready? -Yes.

Perfect. Are they all in a line?

-Yes, it's all done. -Great.

Here are the rules. I go over every bag with my hand.

-If you have the feeling... -Okay.

...that a bag is safe,

then tap on my shoulder once.

What if I don't have that feeling?

Then it has to be one of the other bags.

-Right. -Are you ready?

Let's say fifty-fifty.

Dannero, wait a sec, I'm kinda shitting myself.

Are you gonna slam your hand on them?

We'll see.

No. Eeny, meeny...

That one.

That one.

There. That one.

-It's that one. Yeah. -That one?

-This one's safe? -I don't know. I hope...

Right!

-Ready for round two? -Awesome.

That one.

That one, Dannero.

That one!

Okay, on three.

One, two...

Awesome!

Nerve-wracking. It's nerve-wracking, dude!

You know what's cool?

It's one of those two.

-One last round. -Let's do it.

I'm gonna ask you one thing. Please, be 100% certain.

That one.

Is it?

Or not?

Are you sure? Or shall we try again?

-It's up to you. Are you okay? -Let's try again.

Well, you're laughing.

-Again. -Again.

Is it...

That one?

You're kidding me, right?

It was your decision.

You have to trust yourself. Don't hesitate.

-Or... -Don't pull back, that's important.

Don't you want to do it alone?

I've already done it twice. Trust yourself.

I'm shitting myself right now.

Not just you, my hand is on top of yours, so we're in this together.

What if you put your hand underneath?

Like, if I take your hand.

Well...

-Yeah, very nice. -That works.

-On three. -Want to think about it?

We could play another game.

-One... -Hang on.

Maybe it's that one.

-You don't know anymore either, do you? -Two...

-I'm shitting myself, Dannero. -Three!

Oh, good!

You're...

You're brilliant.

Thank you, Dannero.

Let's chill now, yeah? Look what happened at the audition.

Don't drink it all.

-Isn't there much left? -Yes, you know...

-Okay. -If someone comes, you know...

ANTOINE'S CASTING WITH ALBRECHT

So...

That's it.

That's what I drink during the day.

-That's it. -Okay.

You almost ate the whole glass there. I do this.

That's it. And before I go to bed tonight...

That's enough. Antoine doesn't overdo it.

So, have you already worked as an actor?

Should I be friendly?

Friendly at first, then aggressive.

Towards the end.

But start super nice.

So you start super friendly, then you turn really aggressive.

You're really... pissing me off, you little shit.

You're really pissing me off... You're really pissing me off.

You're really pissing me off, you little shit.

You're really pissing me...

Clench your teeth. You're really pissing...

You're a little snitch, a little bitch.

You're really pissing me off, you little shit.

Aggressive, yeah.

Awesome.

You're really pissing me off, you little shit.

Let me... Leave that shit alone. You little... I love you.

That was really good.

-Sorry, that was my role. -You're an actor too?

Yeah, I do a lot of acting.

I once played a guy who was on ecstasy for six months.

Wow. Where can I watch it?

It's not finished yet. We're making the second part

while high on coke.

Or speed.

Oh, so you took drugs for this project?

Method acting. My whole family was on it.

They all were. Even my grandma.

Like this.

She became aggressive. She went over the top.

She baked cakes with the white powder.

-You're kidding me. -She thought it was yeast.

"Let's put a little more."

She'd put it in and knead the dough. You're laughing.

She was high as balls.

She went around beating up the whole neighborhood.

You're laughing, but she was out of it.

She was completely off her head. She went to prison.

They arrested her. They were scared of her.

Albrecht, to be honest with you...

I'll have a think.

Bye then.

Thank you for everything.

Thank you too.

-Bye, thanks for everything. -Sure.

Are you waiting here?

Hi, Dannero. Nice to meet you.

I want to look at your hand.

Just keep looking at it and now close your eyes.

And fall into a deep sleep. Three, two, one...

You fall deeper and deeper into this state of absolute relaxation.

Your hand is relaxed, very relaxed.

And just leave your arm here. It's very stiff.

It's as if you had a large bar of steel inside your arm.

Patrice?

Patrice.

What did you do to him?

He was already like that.

He's been sitting there like that?

Like Rocky?

Patrice is back there, hypnotized.

I'll bring him his guitar.

Can you wake him up? The audience is waiting.

-Or do you want him to... -Oh, right!

He has to perform.

Patrice, I'll slowly count from one to three and you'll be back with us.

One, two, tree. Welcome back.

You were gone just now.

-Hi. -Hi.

-Are you okay? -Yes.

Great.

You know people are waiting, yeah?

-Oh, fuck. -Of course.

After six years, we're all looking forward to your new album.

Yeah, just go ahead. And blow them away.

Okay, let's get you warmed up.

Dannero, let's open the door so he can go perform.

-Ready? -I think so.

Let's go.

Bad life is no friend of mine

The cost's high when you spend your time

Fall nine, get up ten more times

Say bye-bye to the end of times

When the sun is out, we play

When it's coming down, we stay

Can't this day last forever?

Can't this day last forever?

To the B side

To the C side

Gotta decide

On the run to the other side

Join the fun

It might take a while

Nothing's wrong, most things are right

I mean, we woke up And some of us stayed up all night

When the sun is out, we play

When it's coming down, we stay

Can't this day last forever?

Can't this day last forever?

To the B side

To the C side

Gotta decide

The sun is out

The sun is out

The sun is out

The sun is out

The sun is out

To the C side

Gotta decide

Come on, everybody!

When the sun is out, we play

When it's coming down, we stay

Can't this day last forever?

Can't this day last forever?

Thank you! A big round of applause for Patrice!

For all the dancers, for the band!

Thank you for coming tonight!

The sun is out

To the C side

THE TEDDY TECLEBRHAN SHOW

Who's texting me? Oh, Jürgen.

You wanna go party, you little shit.

IN THE NEXT EPISODE...

I play eight or nine characters.

Am I okay?

Here we go, hey?

Come here. I'm taking you up.

Where's Joshua?

With all due respect, the script is shit.

I'm fed up, I read it, I checked it, fuck off.