All language subtitles for The Teddy Teclebrhan Show S01E02.en-us.Dialog.Subtitle

After analyzing the first episode
of the Teddy Teclebrhan Show,

the makers of the show
have unanimously agreed to disagree.

Except for Percy, who strongly opposes.

Some of these events were not planned.
Some of the planned events won't happen.

But everything that will happen
will happen.

At least that's the plan.

Now relax and enjoy the second episode
of the Teddy Teclebrhan Show.

Hey.

CONFERENCE ROOM
TEAM MEETING

Antoine, Percy, Ernst.

You know... You know that I love you.

So cool, hey.
It's so cool how phony you are.

Percy, listen to me. Could you...

I have a surprise for you.

A surprise just for you,

since you always have that big smile.

You will get your own part in the show,

just for you alone,

and that is the weather.

-The weather?
-You're the weather fairy.

-Who cares about the weather, you liar?
-Don't be mad.

You'll be doing the weather.

You'll be doing
the garden show, Antoine.

-You do the garden show for a bit.
-I should?

You go and chat with someone now and then,
some cress here, a plant there.

-In the garden? Talking about trees?
-Do you really think he can handle that?

He can't even walk straight.

I'll do the garden show once.
Then I'll take over the weather.

What about shutting your trap
now and then, Antoine?

Do you know who you remind me of?

Prince Valiant.

Have you been filming me
this whole time, you creep?

Ernst, please put the camera down.

Down.

Hey, young man!

-Antoine, leave it.
-Hey.

Be careful with it!

You're making a mistake.

Give me the camera back.

Leave him alone.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Hand it over.

It belongs to me. If you...

Ernst Riedler, you'll film backstage.

That's fine. I like that.

Well, I'm looking forward to it.

It's so cool how you are setting us aside
and you think we don't notice.

So stupid, hey.

I want to punch myself in the face.

How are you, Cologne?

Nice.

A big round of applause for the band.

I wonder where I should put the mic.

We don't have a solution yet.
If I throw it in the car,

then we'll have a problem later on.

The thing is,
we have prepared some great stuff.

For example, a garden show with Antoine,
because he loves nature.

I'm really looking forward to it. Yep.

I think it's now time...

for a casting show.

Imagine they're screaming in my ear,
"He didn't do a garden show."

"He sent us something else!"

But now we're about to show you
a garden...

No, an audition.

For a film. A film? Or...

Well, let's just have a look, shall we?

Hey, folks, I'm in the office.

ANTOINE'S CASTING
IN FRANK SCHÜTTLER'S OFFICE

Deputy manager.

When you've made it, you've made it.

Here's my phone.

Hello?

Hello?

Believe in yourself,
then you can make it to the top like me.

For many years,

I was stuck, and then all of a sudden...

I was deputy manager.

At the top level, the top floor.

With Frank Schüttler.

Frank Schüttler.

Bye. Hashtags.

Ms. Herfurth?

Take a seat, please.

Did you have a good trip here?

Yes.

Well, I'd say so, yes.

I'm sorry, who are you?

Antoine Burtz,

I'm substituting for Frank.

Oh, right. Okay.

Do you have
any kind of experience in this field?

-Do you mean auditions?
-Films.

Well, yes, I've had some parts.

On TV?

That too.

Films, cinema too?

Well, I googled you.

And I found absolutely nothing about you.

Absolutely nothing.

Where did you google me?

On the internet.

-I see.
-Google Drive.

-I put your name in.
-In Google Drive.

Yes, in Google Drive. Zero results.

Well, I'll reveal what all this is about.

Hold on tight, madame.

It's about Schnitzer the little snitch.

A guy who snitches all the time.

Or a woman who snitches.

What's "snitching"?

-When you tell on someone.
-What would my role be?

Schnitzer.

I'm Schnitzer?

Exactly.

It's a very difficult role.

You need a wide

emotional range.

You have to convey two emotions
at the same time.

For example, snitching...

and being happy.

Those aren't two emotions.

Can you do it or not?

May I use the phone?

-Yes, of course.
-Yes?

Hey, Frank. Hi.

Hey. Give that to me.

-Was he really there?
-Yes.

-So cool. Sweet.
-So?

Thank God it's not connected.

You see?

That was some good acting.

If you could please recite this
with a bit more emotion and deceit,

that'd be phenomenal.

"It wasn't me, you know?

I'm fuming and shaken.

The situation will require explaining.

Anyone got a cigarette?
Or is this a non-smoking cubbyhole?

You're pissing me off, you little shit.

Anyone got a cig
or is this a non-smoking cubbyhole?

You're really pissing me off now.

Beep, beep, little bitch.

I'm Schnitzer Snitch,
the avenger of the shaken.

Anyone got a cigarette?
Or is this a non-smoking cubbyhole?"

Can you now look in the camera with an
expression as if you were up to something.

-Should I show you?
-Yes.

-That's what I should do?
-Well, you can try.

Great.

-That was great.
-Really?

-That was phenomenal.
-Cool.

Crazy.

Sweet, I like your style. Very sweet.

-Am I done?
-You can wait in the waiting room.

-Alright.
-You know?

Awesome.

The registration fee of 680 euro...

Just give it to Rabbit.

He's out there somewhere. Or Dirk.

-Cash.
-Sure.

Thank you!

And awesome commitment.

Awesome job, really.

-Hmm?
-Hmm?

Oh, I was just talking to myself.

-Saying how good you were.
-Oh, okay.

TO BE CONTINUED...

That was good.

I'll soon know who'll get the part.

So stupid, hey.

The fuckface thinks he can sing now.

Honestly, just shut your trap, would you?

That's exactly what I hate about him,
that's why I didn't want him on the show.

The miserable pig.

Am I already on, or what?

Am I on?

Why didn't you say anything?

I can't just be standing around
if I'm already on!

Fuck, I have to do the weather forecast!

PERCY PRESENTS THE WEATHER

Welcome to the weather forecast.

What was that?

Okay, it seems like
there's gonna be a storm.

Okay.

Did you just hear something too?

Are you paralyzed or what?

The bastards, hey.

35°C in the north. 38°C also in the north.

32°C in the middle in Erfurt.
47°C, oh, someone's on fire there.

Talk about being hot, hey.

I wouldn't go there on vacation.

31 plus 34 equals 65.

That'd be really shitty
if it was actually 65°C.

Here we have 35... 33°C, 32°C here.

And in Munich, well, it's also hot.
But it's not shown as a red zone.

-Hey, Jürgen?
-Yes?

Are you going to open
the garage door or not?

Don't you want to do it yourself?

We had actually agreed that you'd open it.

Don't overdo it.

Just don't overdo it.

I'm here to do the weather forecast
and you've been clapping for 45 minutes.

Are you done or what?

And was the gate closed?

That took 15 minutes, Jürgen.

Nah, 20 seconds. It can't go any faster.

It's cloudy in the north today.

In the south it was rather hot.

But I'll tell you what...

I don't give a shit!

Noah, blast the music!

Skaters, come in!

Slowly skate around me. Slowly!

Slowly around me.

Don't scratch the car!

Slowly! Stop screaming, you miserable...

Good.

I'm slowly getting back up.
And I'm slowly leaving center stage.

Come over to center stage.

Skate to the center.

Skate to the center.

Stay in the front, center stage!

I told you to stay there in the center!

Let me disappear now!

Okay, go around in a circle
while I disappear in the fog.

More fog!

Don't scratch the car. I'm warning you!

Fuck, I can't see anything.

Right, now slowly bow.

Turn the music off, Noah.

Awesome.

That was crazy!

Such a cool performance, hey.

I'm just laying here in the back,
on the floor.

Because I'm exhausted.

I didn't realize
that so much smoke would come out.

Then just have a rest back here.

No worries.

I'll be right back to get you.

I forgot to mention one thing.

That lovely man back there is Rainer.

If you need anything to drink, go there.

Rainer is keeping an eye on everything.

Jürgen, is the garden show ready?

No, I don't have anything
called "garden show."

I have something else from Antoine.

What... What is it?

I haven't seen it, but in the first frame

there's some grass.

-I see trees too.
-Then that must be it.

Let's have a look.

I'm gonna run...

...along the right wing.

You pass the ball to me.

Ignore him.

Him too. Just pass the ball to me.

If you get the ball,
who do you pass it to?

You.

Who do you pass it to?

You.

Awesome.

Pass me the ball.

My fucking lungs!

Fucking shisha.
It almost makes you throw up when you run.

Pass it here!

-You okay?
-And you?

Break.

Let's go.

Are you okay?

Yes, and you?

Yes, thanks, and you?

Thanks, me too.

Me too, thanks.

Thanks.

That's clear now.

-I think so.
-Are you good?

And you?

Yes, thanks. You?

Me too.

Why are you grasping my fence?

Do you want to play?

I'd like to play, yes.

I'll tell you this.

In our club,

TSGVBCD

Wimmersburg,

you can't get on the team just like that.

Never heard of you.

Stop laughing.

When I laugh,
you stay silent and just look.

Your...

You're touching me with your...

Don't do that again.

That was disgusting.

That's how my boys are,

always full of surprises.

Last time they played tag naked,
I caught them red handed.

But hey, it's their decision.

They just enjoy it.
They play nudist soccer too.

-They play soccer at the nudist beach.
-Oh, okay.

So, let's put it this way...

It's a very intensive sport.

-You haven't played that in a while.
-No.

-It's not really my thing.
-It's a full-body effort, no?

-Full-body effort, yes.
-Okay.

You're only allowed to wear
patent-leather shoes.

Like elegant shoes.

Otherwise, absolutely nothing.
Sometimes people wear a tie.

Sometimes you have a whip, right?

And Sans is always using
some sort of juggling strip.

But let's get back to...

the point.

-Why are you on our property?
-I want to play.

Let me tell you this.

If you come to my pitch,

you're either able to cross...

or shoot straight ahead
with the tip of your toe.

If you're a real kicker,
join in now, one-on-one.

You against me.

-Okay.
-What do you mean, "okay"?

Okay.

-Can you kick the ball?
-A bit.

Weird of you to stay behind the fence
when we can talk like this.

Show me what you got.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Want to eat something?

Can I get...

Can I get a bockwurst?

-A bockwurst?
-Yeah, a really big one.

A really big pork sausage.

A pork one. Yeah, those are good.

Give me a really big pork one.
A pork one, Rainer.

I'll give you a fork.

-Not a fork. Pork.
-Yes, you'll get your fork.

-I'll give you two.
-Give me three.

-Two.
-Come on, three.

Too expensive.

Right, then two. Right now.

It's great here.

You have nice decor.

Look, it doesn't even wobble.

-Right, three then.
-Yes, excellent. Give me three.

You're such a character.

-Do you make them yourself?
-No.

Do you put in beef, like ground beef?

I buy them wholesale.

-You're a character.
-Mustard?

Hey, put some...

-Put some in.
-Do you want it on top?

Do you want some mustard?

Yes, please.

Rainer.

-Oh, he's okay. I know him.
-Hey, Rainer.

-Can you open it for me?
-Sure, no problem.

But he was here before you.

-Thank you.
-Careful, you.

That's enough now.

Ketchup?

-What?
-Ketchup?

Yes, of course.

So...

You know him?

Rainer?

-Do you know him?
-Yes, I know him.

-Did you see that? I'll be back.
-Yeah.

Your goal. My goal.

Actually, I've changed my mind.
This is your goal.

Let's switch sides.

That's your goal.
You have to go over there.

-Are you okay?
-Yes, you?

I'm okay.

Alright. Hey!

-Oh, own goal, unfortunately.
-No.

We switched sides right in that moment.

You haven't played that long, have you?

I can't breathe anymore.

Hey, Finn. Come here.

Hold me.

And bring the ball, too, would you?
Give me a hand!

Thanks. I'll go to the other side.

You weren't expecting that, huh?

-Hey.
-Are you okay?

Okay, hey, alright.

-Are you okay?
-Yes, and you?

I didn't say we should play with fouls.

He fouled me four times.

So that's a penalty.

One, two, three.

Four, five... Eleven.

That's not eleven meters.

-Oh, new rules from DFBK...
-Okay.

-And who made them?
-FB... EBK.

-Oh, okay. From here?
-Yes.

-Okay.
-Wait a minute.

-That's eleven meters?
-Yes, here.

-Right, make sure you cover your genitals.
-Okay.

Hey!

Closer together.

Are you okay, Peter?

I'm looking after you.

-Nothing will happen to you.
-Awesome.

17 euros are still missing, yeah?

It's 17.50.

-You'll get it soon.
-I hope so.

Awesome.

Peter, my uncle.

-Hello.
-Stay close together.

Hey, okay!

-His shots are too fast.
-Shut up. I'm pissed off.

Awesome. Cool.

You're talented.

You just have to work on your crosses.

-Do you want do be a professional?
-I'd like to.

-You'll need some support.
-From you?

Yeah, sure.

-I'd like to see you in my office.
-Were?

At the club headquarters.

You can sign some papers.
Believe me, I'll launch your career.

And mark my words.

It won't be just Belsen FC,

but Mössingen and Tübingen
will be after you too.

Okay.

Now that's a bond for life!

Guys! Come on,
let's go grab some vegan currywurst.

We'll get a bit bloated from it.

I'm always looking.
Always checking. Here and there.

Yeah. Let me see.

That's what I do,
so we have everything on record.

I always have my camera with me.

Do you understand, young man?

It has nothing to do with you.

Don't be upset.

You are...

Lary, hi.

Hey. Oh, wow.

-What are you doing here?
-I'd like to sing a song.

I work here.

Janitor?

Production manager, actually.

-Cool.
-Great.

-I think you have to go in. I'll watch.
-Is it okay?

Yes, of course.
Just let me get my camera real quick.

Yeah, go ahead.

Good.

She has the fullest lips of them all

And you follow her stubs all over town

No matter where they lead you

You are in love
So in love, love, love

She smokes her cigarette
And she steals your heart

She looks down at the floor
As only she can

She says everyone wants to gaze
At those naughty girls

But don't trust any of them
We'll become sad women

Stella, all the women want to be like you

And all the men want to be with you

But you're dancing alone

Stella

But you, but you

Stella

But you're dancing alone

Thank you.

Thank you.

What's up, Teddy?

-Very nice. Great performance, Lary.
-Thank you.

Lary, ladies and gentlemen.

-I'm fewming.
-Fumy?

I'm fuming and shaken.

I'm fuming and shaken.

Magic.

Is there any potential for a wedding?

Or...

I've never been in a meadow in my life!

Only on the street.

I'm fed up. Fed up!