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00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,546
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
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00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,493
SHREK: "Once upon a time
there was a lovely princess.
3
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:21,623
"But she had an enchantment
upon her of a fearful sort,
4
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:25,252
"which could only be broken
by love's first kiss.
5
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,381
"She was locked away
in a castle
6
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:32,593
"guarded by a terrible
fire-breathing dragon.
7
00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:35,470
"Many brave knights
had attempted
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00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:37,681
"to free her from
this dreadful prison,
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00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:39,808
"but none prevailed.
10
00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:43,061
"She waited
in the dragon's keep
11
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,897
"in the highest room
of the tallest tower,
12
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:50,027
"for her true love
and true love's first kiss."
13
00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:52,237
(LAUGHING)
14
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,947
Like that's
ever gonna happen.
15
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:56,199
What a load of...
16
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,659
(TOILET FLUSHING)
17
00:01:57,743 --> 00:02:02,372
Somebody once told me
the world is gonna roll me
18
00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:06,001
I ain't the sharpest tool
in the shed
19
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:11,548
She was lookin' kind of dumb
with her finger and her thumb
20
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:15,260
In the shape of an "L"
on her forehead
21
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,972
Well, the years start comin'
and they don't stop comin'
22
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,183
Fed to the rules
and I hit the ground runnin'
23
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,435
Didn't make sense not to
live for fun
24
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,729
Your brain gets smart
but your head gets dumb
25
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,606
So much to do,
So much to see
26
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,192
So what's wrong with
takin' the backstreets
27
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:32,194
You'll never known
if you don't go
28
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,571
You'll never shine
if you don't glow
29
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,115
Hey, now,
you're an all-star
30
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,618
Get your game on, go play
31
00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:44,122
Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
32
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:47,751
And all that glitters
is gold
33
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:52,881
Only shooting stars
break the mold
34
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,759
It's a cool place
and they say it gets colder
35
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,844
You're bundled up now
but wait till you get older
36
00:02:57,928 --> 00:02:59,888
But the media men
beg to differ
37
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,099
Judging by the hole
in the satellite picture
38
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,351
The ice we skate
is gettin' pretty thin
39
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,687
The water's getting warm
So you might as well swim
40
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,022
My world's on fire,
how ‘bout yours?
41
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,316
That's the way I like it
and I'll never get bored
42
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,944
Hey, now, you're an all-star
43
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:16,488
Get your game on, go play
44
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:20,992
Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
45
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:24,579
And all that glitters
is gold
46
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:29,793
Only shooting stars
break the mold
47
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,753
(BELCHES)
48
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,215
Go!
Go!
49
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:39,219
Go, go, go for the moon
50
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,471
Hey, now, you're an all-star
51
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:44,224
Get your game on, go play
52
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:48,854
Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
53
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:52,399
And all that glitters
is gold
54
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:58,071
Only shooting stars
break the mold
55
00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:04,327
I think it's in there.
56
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:07,205
All right. Let's get it!
(WHISPERING) Hold on.
57
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:08,915
Do you know what
that thing can
do to you?
58
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:11,960
Yeah, it'll grind
your bones
for its bread.
59
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:16,173
(LAUGHING)
Yes, well, actually,
that would be a giant.
60
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,926
(ALL GASPING)
Now, ogres,
they're much worse.
61
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:23,346
They'll make a suit
from your
freshly peeled skin.
62
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,474
No!
They'll shave your liver.
63
00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:28,435
Squeeze the jelly
from your eyes!
64
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,103
Actually,
it's quite good
on toast.
65
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,438
Back! Back, beast!
66
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,565
Back! I warn ya!
67
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,361
(GASPING)
68
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:39,488
Right.
69
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:42,324
(ROARING)
70
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:44,701
(SCREAMING)
71
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:46,369
(CONTINUES ROARING)
72
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,624
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
73
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,337
(SCREAMING STOPS)
74
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,757
This is the part
where you run away.
75
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,259
(ALL GASPING)
76
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:02,552
(SNICKERING)
77
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:05,388
(LAUGHING)
78
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,599
And stay out!
79
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,022
"Wanted.
Fairy tale creatures."
80
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:16,817
(SIGHS)
81
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,948
SOLDIER: All right.
This one's full.
Take it away!
82
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,658
(SINGING)
83
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,535
Move it along.
Come on! Get up!
84
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:27,619
Next!
85
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,665
Give me that!
Your flying days
are over.
86
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,583
That's 20 pieces of silver
for the witch.
87
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,918
Next!
Get up!
88
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,128
Lousy 20 pieces.
Come on!
89
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,673
(THUDDING)
SOLDIER: Sit down there!
90
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,007
Keep quiet!
91
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:45,262
This cage is too small.
92
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,347
Please don't turn me in.
I'll never be stubborn again.
93
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,099
I can change. Please!
Give me another chance!
94
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,475
Oh, shut up.
95
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:51,935
SOLDIER: Next!
96
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,896
What have you got?
This little,
wooden puppet.
97
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,816
I'm not a puppet.
I'm a real boy.
98
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:02,195
Five shillings
for the possessed toy.
99
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,531
Take it away.
Father, please!
Don't let them do this!
100
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,241
Help me!
Next. What have you got?
101
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:09,244
Well, I've got
a talking donkey.
(GRUNTS)
102
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:13,665
Right. Well, that's good
for 10 shillings,
if you can prove it.
103
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,959
Oh. Go ahead,
little fella.
104
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:19,880
Well?
105
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,674
Oh, oh! He's just...
He's just a little
nervous.
106
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:26,720
He's really
quite a chatterbox.
Talk, you boneheaded dolt!
107
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,179
That's it.
I've heard enough.
Guards!
108
00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:30,098
No, no, he talks!
He does.
109
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:33,602
I can talk.
I love to talk.
110
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,896
I'm the talkingest
damn thing
you ever saw.
111
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,232
Get her out of my sight.
No, no!
112
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:42,444
I swear!
He can talk!
113
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,071
(GASPS)
114
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,450
Hey! I can fly!
115
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,201
He can fly!
PIGS: He can fly!
116
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:51,703
He can talk!
117
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:55,248
That's right, fool!
Now I'm a flying,
talking donkey.
118
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,209
You might have
seen a housefly,
maybe even a superfly,
119
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,421
but I bet
you ain't never seen
a donkey fly.
120
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:05,508
Uh-oh.
121
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,052
(GRUNTS)
122
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:08,970
Seize him!
123
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,601
After him!
He's getting away!
124
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,604
(PANTING)
125
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,441
(GRUNTS)
126
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:25,403
SOLDIER:
Get him! This way! Turn!
127
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,994
You, there. Ogre!
128
00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:34,746
Aye?
129
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,873
By the order
of Lord Farquaad,
130
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,709
I am authorized
to place you both
under arrest
131
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:45,382
and transport you to
a designated
resettlement facility.
132
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:48,760
Oh, really?
You and what army?
133
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:50,887
(CLATTERING)
134
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,057
(EXCLAIMS)
135
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,606
Can I say something
to you?
136
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:05,485
Listen, you was really, really
somethin' back there.
Incredible!
137
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:09,739
Are you talkin' to me?
138
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,993
Whoa!
Yes, I was
talkin' to you.
139
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:15,620
Can I tell you that you
was great back there?
I mean, those guards.
140
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,331
They thought they was
all of that. Then you
showed up, and bam!
141
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,417
They was trippin' over
themselves like babes
in the woods.
142
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,460
That really made me
feel good to see that.
143
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,087
Oh, that's great.
Really.
144
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,463
Man, it's good
to be free.
145
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:29,092
Now, why don't you go
celebrate your freedom
with your own friends?
146
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:30,719
Hmm?
147
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:36,766
But I don't have any friends,
and I'm not goin' out there
by myself.
148
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:39,978
Hey, wait a minute!
I got a great idea!
I'll stick with you.
149
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:41,980
You're a mean, green,
fightin" machine.
150
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,274
Together, we'll scare
the spit out of anybody
that crosses us.
151
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:48,028
(ROARING)
152
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:51,322
That was really scary.
153
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:52,449
And if you don't
mind me sayin',
154
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,118
if that don't work,
your breath certainly
will get the job done,
155
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,870
‘cause you definitely need
some Tic Tacs or something,
156
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:58,329
‘cause your breath stinks!
157
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,624
Man, you almost burned
the hair out of my nose,
158
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,502
just like the time...
(MUMBLING)
159
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:05,795
And then I ate
some rotten berries.
160
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,339
Man, I had strong gases
eking out of my butt that day.
161
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,967
Why are you following me?
162
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,344
I'll tell you why.
163
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,474
(SINGING)
‘Cause I'm all alone
164
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:21,352
There's no one here
beside me
165
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,813
My problems have all gone
166
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:28,401
There's no one to deride me
167
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:30,862
But you gotta have
friends...
168
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,781
Stop singing!
169
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:36,076
Well, it's no wonder
you don't have any friends.
170
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:37,827
Wow.
171
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,788
Only a true friend
would be that truly honest.
172
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:43,875
Listen, little donkey.
Take a look at me.
What am 1?
173
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,045
DONKEY: Uh...
174
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,883
Really tall?
No! I'm an ogre.
175
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:55,220
You know,
"Grab your torch
and pitchforks."
176
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,138
Doesn't that bother you?
177
00:09:58,765 --> 00:09:59,766
Nope.
178
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,434
Really?
179
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,478
Really, really.
Oh.
180
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,855
Man, I like you.
What's your name?
181
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,607
Uh...
182
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,025
Shrek.
183
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:12,862
Shrek? Well, you know
what I like about you,
Shrek?
184
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,030
You got that kind of
185
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,074
I-don't-care-what
- nobody-thinks-of-me
thing.
186
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,576
I like that. I respect that,
Shrek. You all right.
187
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:25,083
Whoo! Look at that.
Who'd want to live
in a place like that?
188
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,710
That would be my home.
189
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,507
Oh! And it is lovely!
Just beautiful. You know,
you are quite a decorator.
190
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,884
It's amazing what you've done
with such a modest budget.
191
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:38,471
I like that boulder.
That is a nice boulder.
192
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,479
I guess you don't
entertain much, do you?
193
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,356
I like my privacy.
194
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,317
You know, I do, too.
That's another thing
we have in common.
195
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,069
Like, I hate it when you got
somebody in your face.
196
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,654
You're trying to
give them a hint,
and they won't leave.
197
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,948
And then there's that big,
awkward silence, you know.
198
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,954
Can I stay with you?
What?
199
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,707
Can I stay with you, please?
200
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,667
Of course!
201
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,002
Really?
No.
202
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,753
Please!
I don't wanna go
back there!
203
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,589
You don't know what it's like
to be considered a freak.
204
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:14,757
Well, maybe you do.
205
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:17,427
But that's why we gotta
stick together.
You gotta let me stay!
206
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,597
Please! Please!
Okay! Okay!
207
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:22,182
But one night only.
208
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:23,266
Ah! Thank you!
209
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,560
What are you... No! No!
This is gonna be fun!
210
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,645
We can stay up late,
swappin' manly stories,
211
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:30,231
and in the mornin',
I'm makin' waffles.
212
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:31,608
(GROANING)
213
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:33,902
Where do I sleep?
214
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,612
Outside!
215
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,073
Oh. Well,
I guess that's cool.
216
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:40,950
I mean, I don't know you
and you don't know me,
217
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,286
so I guess outside
is best, you know.
218
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,746
(SNIFFLING)
219
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:45,830
Here I go.
220
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:50,084
Good night.
221
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:52,879
(SIGHING)
222
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:56,216
I mean, I do like
the outdoors. I'm a donkey.
I was born outside.
223
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:59,385
I'll just be
sitting by myself outside,
I guess, you know.
224
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:00,803
By myself, outside.
225
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,556
(SINGING)
I'm all alone
226
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,351
There's no one here
beside me
227
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,394
(BUBBLING)
228
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,830
(SIGHING)
229
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:10,790
(CREAKING)
230
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,835
I thought
I told you to stay
outside.
231
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,461
I am outside.
232
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,297
(CLATTERING)
233
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:26,764
Well, gents, it's a far cry
from the farm, but what choice
do we have?
234
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,392
It's not home,
but it'll do just fine.
235
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:31,269
What a lovely bed.
236
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:32,353
Got ya.
237
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:33,896
I found some cheese.
238
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,231
Ow!
239
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:36,607
Ugh! Awful stuff.
240
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:39,319
Is that you, Gorder?
241
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:40,570
How did you know?
242
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:44,032
Enough!
What are you doing
in my house?
243
00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:45,783
Hey!
244
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,410
(SNICKERS)
245
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,996
Oh, no, no, no.
Dead broad off
the table.
246
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,332
Where are we
supposed to put her?
The bed's taken.
247
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,250
Huh?
248
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,127
(GASPS)
249
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:57,920
What?
250
00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:03,092
I live in a swamp.
I put up signs.
I'm a terrifying ogre!
251
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:06,471
What do I have to do
to get a little privacy?
252
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,767
Oh, no. Oh, no.
253
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,561
No! No!
254
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,188
(CACKLING)
255
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:17,940
What?
256
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:19,734
Quit it. Don't push.
257
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,402
(PLAYING MERRY TUNE)
(SQUEAKING)
258
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:27,325
What are you doing
in my swamp?
259
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,577
(ECHOING)
260
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:30,995
(ALL GASPING)
261
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:32,872
Oh, dear.
262
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,544
All right, get out of here.
All of you, move it!
263
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:41,214
Come on!
Let's go! Hapaya!
Hapaya! Hey!
264
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:42,298
Quickly. Come on!
265
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,842
No, no! No, no.
Not there.
Not there.
266
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:48,513
(SIGHS)
267
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,474
Hey, don't look at me.
I didn't invite them.
268
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,559
Gosh, no one invited us.
269
00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:54,685
What?
270
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,312
We were forced
to come here.
271
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,523
By who?
PIG: Lord Farquaad.
272
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:03,111
He huffed und he puffed
und he signed
an eviction notice.
273
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:04,529
(SIGHS IN EXASPERATION)
274
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:05,738
All right.
275
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:10,410
Who knows where
this Farquaad guy is?
276
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:13,371
Oh, I do.
I know where he is.
277
00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:17,125
Does anyone else
know where to
find him?
278
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,878
Anyone at all?
Me! Me!
279
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,713
Anyone?
Oh, oh! Pick me!
280
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,799
I know! I know!
Me, me!
281
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,092
(SIGHING)
282
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,094
Okay, fine.
283
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:33,266
Attention,
all fairy tale things.
284
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:37,603
Do not get comfortable.
Your welcome is
officially worn out.
285
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:41,732
In fact, I'm gonna see
this guy Farquaad right now,
286
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:44,944
and get you all off my land
and back where you came from!
287
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,448
(ALL CHEERING)
288
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,867
We're saved, we're saved.
289
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,036
(EXCLAIMS)
290
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:57,165
You! You're comin' with me.
291
00:15:57,832 --> 00:16:00,001
All right, that's what
I like to hear, man.
292
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:03,713
Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart
friends, off on a whirlwind,
big-city adventure.
293
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:04,797
I love it!
294
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,467
(SINGING)
On the road again
295
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:08,801
Hey.
Sing it with me, Shrek.
296
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,596
I can't wait to get
on the road again
297
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,890
What did I say
about singing?
298
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:15,016
Well, can I whistle?
No.
299
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:17,852
Well, can I hum it?
All right, hum it.
300
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:20,146
(HUMMING)
301
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,757
(GINGY WHIMPERING)
302
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,343
That's enough.
He's ready to talk.
303
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:52,637
(COUGHING)
304
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,349
(LAUGHING)
305
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,270
(CLEARS THROAT)
306
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:06,317
"Run, run, run,
as fast as you can.
307
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:09,904
"You can't catch me.
I'm the gingerbread man!"
308
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,280
You're a monster.
309
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,449
I'm not the monster here.
You are.
310
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:16,202
You, and the rest
of that fairy tale trash,
311
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,870
poisoning my perfect world.
312
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:19,956
Now, tell me!
Where are the others?
313
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,123
Eat me! (SPITS)
314
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:22,500
(GRUNTS)
315
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:25,545
I've tried to be fair
to you creatures.
316
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:29,173
Now my patience
has reached its end!
Tell me or I'll...
317
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:32,343
No, no, not the buttons.
Not my gumdrop buttons.
318
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:34,095
All right, then.
Who's hiding them?
319
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:39,600
Okay, I'll tell you.
Do you know the muffin man?
320
00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:40,685
The muffin man?
321
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:41,852
The muffin man.
322
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:45,314
Yes, I know the muffin man,
who lives on Drury Lane?
323
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:48,943
Well, she's married to
the muffin man.
324
00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:51,195
The muffin man?
The muffin man!
325
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,155
She's married to
the muffin man.
326
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,240
(DOOR OPENS)
327
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,033
My lord! We found it.
328
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:58,786
Well, then
what are you waiting for?
Bring it in.
329
00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:01,539
(SOLDIER GRUNTING)
330
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:11,799
(GASPING)
331
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,217
Oh!
332
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:15,636
Magic Mirror...
333
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,555
Don't tell him anything!
334
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:19,515
No!
335
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,059
(GINGY WHIMPERING)
336
00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:23,144
‘Evening.
337
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,605
Mirror, Mirror,
on the wall,
338
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:29,191
is this not the most perfect
kingdom of them all?
339
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:31,944
Well, technically,
you're not a king.
340
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:33,738
Uh, Thelonious.
341
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:36,532
You were saying?
342
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,701
What I mean is,
you're not a king yet.
343
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:42,830
But you can become one.
All you have to do is
marry a princess.
344
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:44,790
Go on.
345
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:45,958
(CHUCKLING)
346
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:49,420
So, just sit back and relax,
my lord,
347
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:54,008
because it's time for you
to meet today's eligible
bachelorettes.
348
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:56,969
And here they are!
349
00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:58,679
Bachelorette number one
350
00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:02,433
is a mentally abused shut-in
from a kingdom far, far away.
351
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:05,061
She likes sushi and
hot-tubbing anytime.
352
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:08,564
Her hobbies include
cooking and cleaning
for her two evil sisters.
353
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,108
Please welcome Cinderella.
354
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,653
Bachelorette number two
is a cape-wearing girl
355
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,112
from the land of fancy.
356
00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:17,990
Although she lives
with seven other men,
she's not easy.
357
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:21,702
Just kiss her dead,
frozen lips and find out
what a live wire she is.
358
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:25,206
Come on.
Give it up for Snow White!
359
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,833
And last,
but certainly not least,
360
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:29,752
bachelorette number three
is a fiery redhead
361
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,922
from a dragon-guarded castle
surrounded by
hot, boiling lava!
362
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,466
But don't let that
cool you off.
She's a loaded pistol
363
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:38,219
who likes pifia coladas
and getting caught
in the rain.
364
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:42,223
Yours for the rescuing,
Princess Fiona!
365
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,975
So, will it be
bachelorette number one,
366
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:48,521
bachelorette number two
or bachelorette number three?
367
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:50,815
Two! Two!
Three! Three!
368
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,191
Two! Two!
Three!
369
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:54,443
Three? One? Three?
370
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,570
Three!
Pick number three
my lord!
371
00:19:57,279 --> 00:20:00,032
Okay, okay, uh,
number three!
372
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:04,995
Lord Farquaad,
you've chosen Princess Fiona.
373
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:09,875
If you like pifia
coladas and getting
caught in the rain
374
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:14,714
Princess Fiona.
She's perfect.
375
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,174
All I have to do is just find
someone who can go...
376
00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:19,969
But I probably should
mention the little thing
that happens at night.
377
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,762
I'll do it.
Yes, but after
sunset...
378
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:25,850
Silence! I will make
this Princess Fiona
my queen,
379
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:30,062
and Duloc will finally
have the perfect king!
380
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,440
Captain, assemble
your finest men.
381
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:35,025
We're going to have
a tournament.
382
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,490
But that's it.
That's it right there.
That's Duloc.
383
00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:42,992
I told ya I'd find it.
384
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:47,538
So, that must be
Lord Farquaad's
castle.
385
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:49,290
DONKEY:
That's the place.
386
00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:52,668
Do you think maybe
he's compensating
for something?
387
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,171
(LAUGHING)
388
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,133
Hey, wait.
Wait up, Shrek.
389
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:02,094
MAN: Hurry, darling.
We're late. Hurry.
390
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:05,639
Hey, you!
391
00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:07,016
(SCREAMS)
392
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:10,478
Wait a second.
Look, I'm not
gonna eat ya.
393
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,480
I just... I just...
394
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:15,483
(SIGHING)
395
00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:16,776
(WHIMPERING)
396
00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:30,498
(TURNSTILE CLATTERING)
397
00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:36,128
(SIGHING)
398
00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:38,964
(MUZAK PLAYING)
399
00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:46,305
It's quiet.
400
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:48,474
(CREAKING)
401
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:50,976
Too quiet.
402
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,439
Where is everybody?
403
00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,067
Hey, look at this!
404
00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:02,696
(CLATTERING)
405
00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:05,991
(CLICKING)
406
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,247
(FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)
407
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:14,875
(SINGING)
Welcome to Duloc,
such a perfect town
408
00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:18,420
Here we have some rules
Let us lay them down
409
00:22:18,504 --> 00:22:22,299
Don't make waves, stay in line
and we'll get along fine
410
00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:25,886
Duloc is a perfect place
411
00:22:26,136 --> 00:22:27,805
Please keep off of the grass
412
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,516
Shine your shoes,
wipe your face
413
00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:33,644
Duloc is, Duloc is
414
00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:39,275
Duloc is a perfect place
415
00:22:40,317 --> 00:22:41,360
(CAMERA CLICKING)
416
00:22:45,906 --> 00:22:47,449
Wow.
417
00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:49,451
Let's do that again!
418
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:52,204
No. No.
No, no, no! No.
419
00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:53,372
(TRUMPETS SOUNDING)
420
00:22:55,666 --> 00:22:56,917
FARQUAAD:
Brave knights.
421
00:22:57,710 --> 00:23:00,671
You are
the best and brightest
in all the land.
422
00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:03,549
Today,
one of you shall prove
himself...
423
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:06,260
All right. You're going
the right way
for a smacked bottom.
424
00:23:06,343 --> 00:23:07,428
Sorry about that.
425
00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:08,637
(CROWD CHEERING)
426
00:23:08,846 --> 00:23:13,517
FARQUAAD: That champion
shall have the honor...
No, no, the privilege
427
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:17,688
to go forth and rescue
the lovely Princess Fiona
428
00:23:17,855 --> 00:23:20,941
from the fiery keep
of the dragon.
429
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:25,487
If for any reason
the winner is unsuccessful,
430
00:23:25,946 --> 00:23:28,699
the first runner-up
will take his place
431
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:31,076
and so on and so forth.
432
00:23:31,869 --> 00:23:37,499
Some of you may die,
but it's a sacrifice
I am willing to make.
433
00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:39,960
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
434
00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:44,715
Let the tournament begin!
435
00:23:49,178 --> 00:23:50,304
(GASPING)
436
00:23:50,387 --> 00:23:52,139
What is that?
437
00:23:52,348 --> 00:23:53,682
(CROWD GASPING)
438
00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:55,225
Oh! It's hideous!
439
00:23:55,309 --> 00:23:57,436
Oh, that's not very nice.
440
00:23:58,646 --> 00:24:00,105
It's just a donkey.
441
00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:03,776
Indeed.
Knights, new plan!
442
00:24:03,984 --> 00:24:08,614
The one who kills the ogre
will be named champion!
Have at him!
443
00:24:08,739 --> 00:24:13,160
MAN 1: Get him!
Oh! Hey! Now, come on!
Hang on now.
444
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,120
WOMAN: Go ahead! Get him!
445
00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:18,290
Can't we just
settle this over
a pint?
446
00:24:18,374 --> 00:24:19,500
MAN 2: Kill the beast!
447
00:24:20,209 --> 00:24:22,878
No? All right then.
448
00:24:24,755 --> 00:24:26,090
Come on!
449
00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:28,008
(BAD REPUTATION PLAYING)
450
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,226
I don't give a damn about
my reputation
451
00:24:39,186 --> 00:24:41,772
You're living in the past
It's a new generation
452
00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:43,190
Damn!
453
00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:45,985
A girl can do what she
wants to do
454
00:24:46,068 --> 00:24:48,112
And that's
what I'm gonna do
455
00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:51,281
And I don't give a damn
about my bad reputation
456
00:24:52,866 --> 00:24:56,203
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
not me
457
00:24:56,286 --> 00:24:57,496
Me, me, me
458
00:24:57,579 --> 00:24:59,331
Hey, Shrek, tag me!
Tag me!
459
00:24:59,415 --> 00:25:01,458
And I don't give a damn
about my reputation
460
00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:05,504
Never said I wanted to
improve my station
461
00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:07,131
(LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY)
462
00:25:07,256 --> 00:25:08,590
And I'm only doing good
when I'm having fun
463
00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:09,758
Yeah!
464
00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:11,677
And I don't have to please
no one
465
00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:13,387
The chair!
Give him the chair!
466
00:25:13,470 --> 00:25:15,055
And I don't give a damn
about my bad reputation
467
00:25:16,557 --> 00:25:19,893
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
not me
468
00:25:19,977 --> 00:25:21,186
Me, me, me
469
00:25:21,770 --> 00:25:23,522
Oh, no, no, no, no
470
00:25:23,605 --> 00:25:27,526
Not me, not me
471
00:25:27,776 --> 00:25:29,069
Not me
472
00:25:29,153 --> 00:25:31,071
(SPECTATORS CHEERING)
473
00:25:31,822 --> 00:25:33,073
(LAUGHING)
474
00:25:33,407 --> 00:25:34,700
Oh, yeah!
475
00:25:34,992 --> 00:25:38,328
(GROWLS)
476
00:25:38,704 --> 00:25:39,830
Thank you!
477
00:25:40,414 --> 00:25:43,751
Thank you very much!
I'm here till Thursday.
Try the veal!
478
00:25:43,834 --> 00:25:45,419
(LAUGHS)
479
00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:48,297
(SPECTATORS GASPING)
480
00:25:50,424 --> 00:25:52,009
Shall I give
the order, sir?
481
00:25:52,426 --> 00:25:55,304
No, I have a better idea.
482
00:25:56,346 --> 00:26:00,934
People of Duloc,
I give you our
champion!
483
00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:02,603
What?
484
00:26:03,437 --> 00:26:05,230
FARQUAAD:
Congratulations, ogre.
485
00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:09,485
You've won the honor of
embarking on a great
and noble quest.
486
00:26:09,777 --> 00:26:14,114
Quest? I'm already on a quest,
a quest to get my swamp back.
487
00:26:14,239 --> 00:26:15,407
Your swamp?
488
00:26:15,491 --> 00:26:17,201
Yeah, my swamp!
489
00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:19,912
Where you dumped
those fairy tale creatures!
490
00:26:21,163 --> 00:26:24,541
Indeed. All right, ogre,
I'll make you a deal.
491
00:26:24,875 --> 00:26:28,712
Go on this quest for me,
and I'll give you
your swamp back.
492
00:26:29,505 --> 00:26:31,465
Exactly the way it was?
493
00:26:31,548 --> 00:26:34,259
Down to the last
slime-covered toadstool.
494
00:26:34,384 --> 00:26:35,719
And the squatters?
495
00:26:35,886 --> 00:26:37,596
As good as gone.
496
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,352
What kind of quest?
497
00:26:44,978 --> 00:26:45,979
DONKEY: Okay,
let me get this straight.
498
00:26:46,063 --> 00:26:48,273
You're gonna go
fight a dragon
and rescue a princess,
499
00:26:48,357 --> 00:26:51,360
just so Farquaad will
give you back a swamp,
which you only don't have
500
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:53,028
because he filled it full of
freaks in the first place.
501
00:26:53,112 --> 00:26:54,571
Is that about right?
You know what?
502
00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:57,574
Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
503
00:26:57,950 --> 00:26:59,243
I don't get it, Shrek.
504
00:26:59,368 --> 00:27:00,994
Why don't you just pull
some of that ogre stuff
on him?
505
00:27:01,078 --> 00:27:03,288
You know, throttle him,
lay siege to his fortress,
506
00:27:03,372 --> 00:27:06,333
grind his bones to make
your bread, you know,
the whole ogre trip.
507
00:27:07,209 --> 00:27:08,210
Oh! I know what.
508
00:27:08,335 --> 00:27:10,838
Maybe I could
have decapitated
an entire village
509
00:27:10,921 --> 00:27:12,464
and put their heads
on a pike,
510
00:27:12,756 --> 00:27:16,385
gotten a knife, cut open their
spleen and drink their fluids.
511
00:27:16,927 --> 00:27:18,345
Does that sound good
to you?
512
00:27:18,595 --> 00:27:19,680
Uh...
513
00:27:20,222 --> 00:27:21,306
No, not really, no.
514
00:27:21,723 --> 00:27:25,269
For your information,
there's a lot more to ogres
than people think.
515
00:27:25,352 --> 00:27:26,562
Example?
516
00:27:26,937 --> 00:27:27,938
Example?
517
00:27:28,147 --> 00:27:32,484
Okay, um, ogres are
like onions.
518
00:27:33,861 --> 00:27:35,154
They stink?
Yes. No!
519
00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:36,655
They make you cry?
No!
520
00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:38,699
Oh, you leave them
out in the sun,
they get all brown,
521
00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:42,202
start sproutin' little,
white hairs.
No! Layers!
522
00:27:42,619 --> 00:27:44,663
Onions have layers.
523
00:27:44,746 --> 00:27:47,624
Ogres have layers!
Onions have layers.
524
00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:50,085
You get it?
We both have layers.
525
00:27:50,169 --> 00:27:51,461
(SIGHING)
526
00:27:52,546 --> 00:27:55,257
Oh. You both have layers.
527
00:27:55,716 --> 00:27:57,050
(SNIFFS)
528
00:27:57,134 --> 00:27:58,719
You know,
not everybody
likes onions.
529
00:27:59,595 --> 00:28:02,264
Cake! Everybody loves cakes!
Cakes have layers.
530
00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:05,809
I don't care what
everyone likes.
531
00:28:06,393 --> 00:28:09,646
Ogres are not like cakes.
532
00:28:12,441 --> 00:28:14,401
You know what else
everybody likes?
Parfaits.
533
00:28:14,484 --> 00:28:16,987
Have you ever met a person,
you say, "Hey, let's get
some parfait,"
534
00:28:17,070 --> 00:28:19,656
they say, "Hey, no,
I don't like no parfait"?
Parfaits are delicious.
535
00:28:19,740 --> 00:28:23,744
No! You dense, irritating,
miniature beast of burden!
536
00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:26,830
Ogres are like onions!
End of story.
537
00:28:26,914 --> 00:28:29,124
Bye-bye. See ya later.
538
00:28:34,004 --> 00:28:37,382
Parfaits may be the most
delicious thing on the whole
damn planet.
539
00:28:37,466 --> 00:28:40,052
SHREK: You know,
I think I preferred
your humming.
540
00:28:40,510 --> 00:28:42,971
DONKEY: Do you have a tissue
or something?
‘Cause I'm making a mess.
541
00:28:43,305 --> 00:28:45,557
Just the word parfait
make me start slobbering.
542
00:28:48,852 --> 00:28:51,146
(I'M ON MY WAY PLAYING)
543
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:55,651
I'm on my way from misery
to happiness today
544
00:28:59,238 --> 00:29:03,784
I'm on my way from misery
to happiness today
545
00:29:07,287 --> 00:29:10,999
And everything that you
receive up yonder
546
00:29:11,333 --> 00:29:15,170
Is what you gave to me
the day I wandered
547
00:29:15,379 --> 00:29:16,838
I'm on my way
548
00:29:19,424 --> 00:29:20,717
I'm on my way
549
00:29:23,387 --> 00:29:24,638
I'm on my way
550
00:29:24,972 --> 00:29:26,056
(EXHALING)
551
00:29:26,139 --> 00:29:27,641
Shrek!
Did you do that?
552
00:29:28,392 --> 00:29:30,644
Man, you gotta warn somebody
before you just crack one off.
553
00:29:30,727 --> 00:29:31,937
My mouth was open
and everything.
554
00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:35,399
Believe me, Donkey,
if it was me,
you'd be dead.
555
00:29:35,691 --> 00:29:36,858
(SNIFFING)
556
00:29:36,942 --> 00:29:37,985
It's brimstone.
557
00:29:38,652 --> 00:29:41,363
We must be getting close.
Yeah,
right, brimstone.
558
00:29:42,406 --> 00:29:43,448
Don't be talking
about it's
the brimstone.
559
00:29:43,532 --> 00:29:45,784
I know what I smell
and it wasn't no brimstone.
560
00:29:45,867 --> 00:29:47,452
It didn't come off
no stone neither.
561
00:29:49,997 --> 00:29:51,540
(RUMBLING)
562
00:30:06,096 --> 00:30:09,308
Sure, it's big enough,
but look at the location.
563
00:30:09,391 --> 00:30:12,102
(LAUGHING)
564
00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:13,562
Shrek?
565
00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:18,108
Remember when you said
that ogres have layers?
566
00:30:18,233 --> 00:30:19,234
Aye.
567
00:30:20,444 --> 00:30:22,738
Well, I have a bit
of a confession to make.
568
00:30:22,946 --> 00:30:24,406
Donkeys don't
have layers.
569
00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:26,325
We wear our fear
right out there
on our sleeves.
570
00:30:26,408 --> 00:30:29,202
Wait a second.
Donkeys don't
have sleeves.
571
00:30:29,286 --> 00:30:30,495
You know what I mean.
572
00:30:30,579 --> 00:30:33,206
Oh, you can't tell me
you're afraid of heights.
573
00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:34,791
No, I'm just a little
uncomfortable
574
00:30:34,875 --> 00:30:37,753
about being on
a rickety bridge over
a boiling lake of lava!
575
00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:41,923
Come on, Donkey.
I'm right here
beside ya, okay?
576
00:30:42,090 --> 00:30:44,301
For emotional support,
577
00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:49,097
we'll just tackle this thing
together one little baby step
at a time.
578
00:30:49,473 --> 00:30:50,974
Really?
Really, really.
579
00:30:51,475 --> 00:30:53,560
Okay, that makes me
feel so much
better.
580
00:30:53,643 --> 00:30:54,728
Just keep moving.
581
00:30:54,811 --> 00:30:58,106
And don't look down.
Okay, don't look down.
Don't look down.
582
00:30:58,190 --> 00:31:00,609
Keep on moving.
Don't look down.
Don't look down.
583
00:31:01,151 --> 00:31:02,819
Keep on moving
and don't look down.
584
00:31:03,737 --> 00:31:04,821
(GASPS)
585
00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:06,740
Shrek! I'm lookin' down!
586
00:31:06,823 --> 00:31:09,785
Oh, God, I can't do this!
Just let me off right now.
Please.
587
00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:11,578
But you're already halfway.
588
00:31:11,661 --> 00:31:13,288
Yeah, but I know
that half is safe!
589
00:31:13,455 --> 00:31:16,291
Okay, fine.
I don't have time for this.
You go back.
590
00:31:16,375 --> 00:31:18,043
Shrek, no! Wait!
Just, Donkey...
591
00:31:18,126 --> 00:31:20,003
Let's have a dance then,
shall we?
Wait, Shrek... Hey.
592
00:31:20,087 --> 00:31:21,755
Donkey!
(YELLS) Don't do that!
593
00:31:22,923 --> 00:31:24,966
Oh, I'm sorry.
Do what?
594
00:31:25,967 --> 00:31:29,012
Oh. This?
Yes, that!
595
00:31:29,137 --> 00:31:32,516
Yes? Yes, do it. Okay.
596
00:31:32,641 --> 00:31:33,809
(DONKEY SCREAMING)
597
00:31:33,892 --> 00:31:37,813
No, Shrek! No! Stop it!
You said do it!
I'm doin' it.
598
00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:41,233
Oh, God, I'm gonna die.
I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.
Shrek, I'm gonna die.
599
00:31:42,442 --> 00:31:43,485
Oh.
600
00:31:45,153 --> 00:31:47,489
That'll do, Donkey.
That'll do.
601
00:31:52,744 --> 00:31:53,829
Cool.
602
00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:57,541
So where is this
fire-breathing
pain-in-the-neck anyway?
603
00:31:57,624 --> 00:32:00,252
SHREK: Inside,
waiting for us
to rescue her.
604
00:32:01,545 --> 00:32:03,422
DONKEY: I was talkin'
about the dragon,
Shrek.
605
00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:13,765
(WATER DRIPPING)
606
00:32:16,143 --> 00:32:17,811
(WIND HOWLING)
607
00:32:20,897 --> 00:32:21,898
DONKEY: You afraid?
608
00:32:21,982 --> 00:32:24,192
No, but...
609
00:32:24,359 --> 00:32:25,360
(SHUSHING)
610
00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:26,653
Oh, good.
Me, neither.
611
00:32:27,904 --> 00:32:28,905
(GASPING)
612
00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:32,284
‘Cause there's nothin' wrong
with bein' afraid, you know.
613
00:32:32,367 --> 00:32:35,203
Fear's a sensible response
to an unfamiliar situation.
614
00:32:35,787 --> 00:32:37,706
Unfamiliar
dangerous situation,
I might add.
615
00:32:37,789 --> 00:32:40,500
I mean, with a dragon that
breathes fire and eats knights
and breathes fire,
616
00:32:40,584 --> 00:32:41,960
it sure doesn't mean
you're a coward
617
00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:43,753
if you're a little scared,
you know what I mean?
618
00:32:44,171 --> 00:32:46,256
'Cause I sure as heck
ain't no coward.
I know that.
619
00:32:48,633 --> 00:32:51,595
Donkey,
two things, okay?
620
00:32:52,262 --> 00:32:54,222
Shut up.
621
00:32:54,806 --> 00:32:56,975
Now, go over there and see if
you can find any stairs.
622
00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:59,519
Stairs?
I thought we was lookin'
for the princess.
623
00:32:59,603 --> 00:33:04,483
The princess will be
up the stairs in the highest
room in the tallest tower.
624
00:33:04,774 --> 00:33:06,234
What makes you think
she'll be there?
625
00:33:06,318 --> 00:33:07,986
I read it in a book once.
626
00:33:09,196 --> 00:33:12,324
Cool. You handle the dragon.
I'll handle the stairs.
627
00:33:12,908 --> 00:33:15,285
I'll find those stairs.
I'll whip their butt, too.
628
00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:17,537
That's right.
Those stairs won't know
which way they're goin'.
629
00:33:18,038 --> 00:33:19,873
(CREAKING)
630
00:33:22,667 --> 00:33:24,002
I'm gonna take
drastic steps.
631
00:33:24,085 --> 00:33:26,880
Kick it to the curb.
Don't mess with me.
I'm the stair master.
632
00:33:26,963 --> 00:33:29,716
I've mastered the stairs.
I wish I had a step
right here, right here now.
633
00:33:29,799 --> 00:33:31,051
I'd step all over it.
634
00:33:34,763 --> 00:33:38,099
Well, at least we know
where the princess is,
but where's the...
635
00:33:38,183 --> 00:33:40,268
Dragon!
636
00:33:40,977 --> 00:33:43,188
(SCREAMING)
637
00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:57,369
Donkey, look out!
638
00:33:59,871 --> 00:34:01,164
(SCREAMS)
639
00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:03,959
Ah!
640
00:34:06,253 --> 00:34:07,462
(WHIMPERING)
641
00:34:10,173 --> 00:34:11,174
Got ya!
642
00:34:11,258 --> 00:34:12,509
(ROARS)
643
00:34:13,593 --> 00:34:14,678
(GASPS)
644
00:34:15,595 --> 00:34:19,307
(EXCLAIMING)
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
645
00:34:20,308 --> 00:34:21,643
(SCREAMING)
646
00:34:34,322 --> 00:34:35,323
Oh!
647
00:34:36,408 --> 00:34:37,617
(WHIMPERING)
648
00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:45,125
(ROARING)
649
00:34:46,626 --> 00:34:48,920
No. No. No. Oh, no. No!
650
00:34:51,172 --> 00:34:52,591
What large teeth you have.
651
00:34:54,175 --> 00:34:56,094
I mean, white,
sparkling teeth.
652
00:34:56,595 --> 00:34:58,722
I know you probably hear this
all the time from your food,
653
00:34:58,805 --> 00:35:00,015
but you must bleach
or something,
654
00:35:00,098 --> 00:35:02,517
‘cause that is one dazzling
smile you got there.
655
00:35:02,601 --> 00:35:04,603
And do I detect
a hint of minty
freshness?
656
00:35:05,729 --> 00:35:07,689
And you know what else?
You know what else? You're...
657
00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:10,066
You're a girl dragon!
658
00:35:10,150 --> 00:35:14,904
Oh, sure. I mean,
of course you're
a girl dragon.
659
00:35:15,030 --> 00:35:18,033
‘Cause you're just reeking
of feminine beauty.
660
00:35:19,367 --> 00:35:21,077
What's the matter with you?
You got something in your eye?
661
00:35:22,037 --> 00:35:24,122
Oh. Oh!
662
00:35:24,205 --> 00:35:26,625
Man, I'd really love to stay,
but, you know, I'm...
663
00:35:26,708 --> 00:35:28,460
(COUGHS) I'm an asthmatic,
and I don't
know if it'd work out
664
00:35:28,543 --> 00:35:30,837
if you're gonna
blow smoke rings
and stuff.
665
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:32,088
Shrek!
666
00:35:32,839 --> 00:35:33,882
(WHIMPERING)
667
00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:37,677
No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
668
00:36:10,460 --> 00:36:11,503
(EXCLAIMING)
669
00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:12,962
Wake up!
What?
670
00:36:13,296 --> 00:36:14,964
Are you Princess Fiona?
671
00:36:15,757 --> 00:36:16,841
I am.
672
00:36:17,759 --> 00:36:20,303
Awaiting a knight
so bold as to
rescue me.
673
00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:22,472
Oh, that's nice.
Now, let's go.
674
00:36:22,555 --> 00:36:24,015
But wait, Sir Knight.
675
00:36:24,599 --> 00:36:26,393
This be-eth
our first meeting.
676
00:36:26,935 --> 00:36:30,689
Should it not be a wonderful,
romantic moment?
677
00:36:30,814 --> 00:36:33,108
Yeah, sorry, lady.
There's no time.
678
00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:35,193
Hey, wait.
What are you doing?
679
00:36:35,568 --> 00:36:37,320
You know,
you should sweep me
off my feet,
680
00:36:37,404 --> 00:36:40,699
out yonder window and down a
rope onto your valiant steed.
681
00:36:40,865 --> 00:36:43,660
You've had a lot of time
to plan this, haven't you?
682
00:36:43,743 --> 00:36:46,329
Mmm-hmm. (SCREAMS)
683
00:36:48,081 --> 00:36:50,500
But we have to
savor this moment!
684
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,378
You could recite
an epic poem
for me.
685
00:36:53,837 --> 00:36:55,839
A ballad? A sonnet!
686
00:36:56,172 --> 00:36:58,383
A limerick?
Or something!
687
00:36:58,466 --> 00:36:59,634
I don't think so.
688
00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:04,097
Well, can I at least know
the name of my champion?
689
00:37:04,472 --> 00:37:06,141
Um... Shrek.
690
00:37:07,016 --> 00:37:08,393
Sir Shrek.
691
00:37:08,643 --> 00:37:09,978
(CLEARS THROAT)
692
00:37:10,061 --> 00:37:14,607
I pray that you take this
favor as a token
of my gratitude.
693
00:37:16,276 --> 00:37:17,444
Thanks!
694
00:37:19,946 --> 00:37:21,614
(DRAGON ROARING)
695
00:37:21,698 --> 00:37:23,742
You didn't slay the dragon?
696
00:37:23,825 --> 00:37:26,161
It's on my to-do list.
Now, come on!
697
00:37:26,369 --> 00:37:28,121
FIONA:
But this isn't right!
698
00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:31,416
You were meant to charge in,
sword drawn, banner flying.
699
00:37:31,875 --> 00:37:33,501
That's what all the other
knights did.
700
00:37:33,585 --> 00:37:35,754
SHREK:
Yeah, right before they burst
into flame.
701
00:37:35,962 --> 00:37:37,422
That's not the point.
702
00:37:39,424 --> 00:37:42,051
Wait. Where are you going?
The exit's over there.
703
00:37:42,135 --> 00:37:43,887
Well, I have to
save my ass.
704
00:37:44,763 --> 00:37:47,140
What kind of knight
are you?
705
00:37:48,016 --> 00:37:49,184
One of a kind.
706
00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:52,061
DONKEY: Slow down.
Slow down, baby,
please.
707
00:37:52,145 --> 00:37:54,230
Look, I believe it's healthy
to get to know someone
708
00:37:54,814 --> 00:37:58,151
over a long period of time.
Just call me old-fashioned,
you know.
709
00:37:58,651 --> 00:38:02,614
I don't want to rush into
a physical relationship.
710
00:38:03,198 --> 00:38:06,242
I'm not emotionally ready
for a commitment of this
711
00:38:06,576 --> 00:38:08,912
magnitude, really,
is the word I'm looking for.
712
00:38:08,995 --> 00:38:12,457
Magnitude.
Hey, that is unwanted
physical contact.
713
00:38:12,582 --> 00:38:14,125
Hey, what are you doing?
714
00:38:14,959 --> 00:38:18,338
Okay, okay, look, let's just
back up a little and take this
one step at a time.
715
00:38:18,421 --> 00:38:21,216
I mean, we really should
get to know each other first,
you know, as friends,
716
00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:22,592
or maybe even as pen pals.
717
00:38:22,675 --> 00:38:26,262
'Cause I'm on the road a lot,
but I just love
receiving cards to read...
718
00:38:26,471 --> 00:38:29,182
Hey, you know,
I'd really love to stay,
but...
719
00:38:29,265 --> 00:38:31,643
Hey, hey, don't do that!
That's my tail!
That's my personal tail.
720
00:38:31,726 --> 00:38:34,479
You're gonna tear it off.
I don't give permission to...
721
00:38:34,562 --> 00:38:36,356
Hey, what are you
gonna do with that?
722
00:38:36,648 --> 00:38:39,359
Hey, now. No way. No! No!
723
00:38:39,526 --> 00:38:41,486
No, no! No. No, no, no! No!
724
00:38:48,159 --> 00:38:49,452
(GROWLS)
725
00:38:52,413 --> 00:38:53,957
(ROARS)
726
00:39:09,097 --> 00:39:10,765
Hi, Princess!
It talks!
727
00:39:10,849 --> 00:39:13,268
Yeah, it's getting him
to shut up that's the trick.
728
00:39:18,147 --> 00:39:19,148
(SCREAMING)
729
00:39:22,318 --> 00:39:23,319
Oh!
730
00:39:24,404 --> 00:39:25,697
(GROANING)
731
00:39:44,048 --> 00:39:45,049
(ALL GASPING)
732
00:39:50,513 --> 00:39:52,432
Okay, you two,
head for the exit!
733
00:39:54,559 --> 00:39:56,102
I'll take care
of the dragon.
734
00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:09,324
Run!
735
00:40:18,124 --> 00:40:19,250
(EXCLAIMING)
736
00:40:23,004 --> 00:40:24,005
(SCREAMING)
737
00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:29,636
(EXCLAIMING)
738
00:40:31,512 --> 00:40:32,639
(ROARING)
739
00:40:39,604 --> 00:40:41,064
(WHIMPERS)
740
00:40:50,782 --> 00:40:52,951
(DRAGON CONTINUES ROARING)
741
00:40:53,326 --> 00:40:54,327
You did it!
742
00:40:54,827 --> 00:40:56,955
You rescued me!
You're amazing.
You're...
743
00:40:57,288 --> 00:40:59,165
You're wonderful.
You're...
744
00:41:01,542 --> 00:41:03,503
A little unorthodox,
I'll admit.
745
00:41:03,586 --> 00:41:08,299
But thy deed is great,
and thine heart is pure.
746
00:41:08,925 --> 00:41:10,802
I am eternally
in your debt.
747
00:41:10,927 --> 00:41:12,428
(CLEARING THROAT)
748
00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:16,641
And where would a brave knight
be without his noble steed?
749
00:41:16,933 --> 00:41:19,936
All right, I hope
you heard that. She called me
a noble steed.
750
00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:21,479
She think I'm a steed.
751
00:41:21,688 --> 00:41:22,939
(FIONA LAUGHING)
752
00:41:23,022 --> 00:41:24,440
The battle is won.
753
00:41:24,857 --> 00:41:27,235
You may remove your helmet,
good Sir Knight.
754
00:41:27,610 --> 00:41:29,988
Uh... No.
Why not?
755
00:41:30,196 --> 00:41:32,365
I have helmet hair.
756
00:41:32,448 --> 00:41:35,660
Please. I would'st look
upon the face of my rescuer.
757
00:41:35,743 --> 00:41:38,246
No, no,
you wouldn't'st.
758
00:41:38,413 --> 00:41:40,873
But how will you
kiss me?
759
00:41:40,957 --> 00:41:44,794
What?
That wasn't in
the job description.
760
00:41:45,712 --> 00:41:46,838
Maybe it's a perk.
761
00:41:46,963 --> 00:41:51,759
No, it's destiny.
You must know how it goes.
762
00:41:51,843 --> 00:41:55,555
A princess locked in a tower
and beset by a dragon
763
00:41:55,638 --> 00:41:58,057
is rescued by
a brave knight,
764
00:41:58,725 --> 00:42:01,686
and then they share
true love's first kiss.
765
00:42:02,687 --> 00:42:04,147
With Shrek?
You think... Wait.
766
00:42:04,230 --> 00:42:07,316
Wait. Wait a second. You think
that Shrek is your true love?
767
00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:09,485
Well, yes.
768
00:42:11,279 --> 00:42:13,364
(BOTH LAUGHING)
769
00:42:13,448 --> 00:42:15,199
You think Shrek
is your true love!
770
00:42:16,075 --> 00:42:17,952
What is so funny?
771
00:42:18,077 --> 00:42:20,872
Let's just say
I'm not your type,
okay?
772
00:42:20,955 --> 00:42:24,292
Of course you are.
You're my rescuer.
773
00:42:24,834 --> 00:42:26,961
Now...
Now, remove your helmet.
774
00:42:27,045 --> 00:42:29,547
Look. I really don't think
this is a good idea.
775
00:42:29,630 --> 00:42:31,674
Just take off the helmet.
I'm not going to.
776
00:42:31,758 --> 00:42:32,884
Take it off.
No!
777
00:42:32,967 --> 00:42:34,719
Now!
Okay!
778
00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:39,348
Easy.
As you command,
Your Highness.
779
00:42:41,893 --> 00:42:43,061
(GASPS)
780
00:42:50,359 --> 00:42:53,029
You... You're an ogre.
781
00:42:54,363 --> 00:42:57,116
Oh. You were expecting
Prince Charming.
782
00:42:57,241 --> 00:42:59,619
Well, yes, actually.
783
00:43:01,621 --> 00:43:06,793
Oh, no. This is all wrong.
You're not supposed to be
an ogre.
784
00:43:07,210 --> 00:43:08,252
(SIGHING)
785
00:43:08,336 --> 00:43:12,465
Princess, I was sent to rescue
you by Lord Farquaad, okay?
786
00:43:12,715 --> 00:43:14,592
He's the one who
wants to marry you.
787
00:43:14,675 --> 00:43:16,594
Well, then
why didn't he come
rescue me?
788
00:43:17,220 --> 00:43:20,056
Good question.
You should ask him that
when we get there.
789
00:43:20,848 --> 00:43:26,729
But I have to be rescued
by my true love, not by
some ogre and his pet.
790
00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:29,148
Well, so much
for noble steed.
791
00:43:29,232 --> 00:43:31,859
Look, Princess, you're not
making my job any easier.
792
00:43:31,943 --> 00:43:34,445
Well, I'm sorry,
but your job
is not my problem.
793
00:43:35,321 --> 00:43:40,493
You can tell Lord Farquaad
that if he wants to rescue me
properly,
794
00:43:40,785 --> 00:43:42,995
I'll be waiting for him
right here.
795
00:43:43,162 --> 00:43:48,167
Hey! I'm no one's
messenger boy, all right?
I'm a delivery boy.
796
00:43:48,251 --> 00:43:50,002
You wouldn't dare.
797
00:43:50,586 --> 00:43:51,629
(EXCLAIMING)
798
00:43:51,712 --> 00:43:52,839
Ya comin', Donkey?
Put me down!
799
00:43:52,922 --> 00:43:54,173
Yeah, I'm right behind ya.
800
00:43:54,715 --> 00:43:58,052
Put me down,
or you will suffer
the consequences!
801
00:43:58,261 --> 00:44:00,930
This is not dignified!
Put me down!
802
00:44:01,430 --> 00:44:02,473
(SCREAMS)
803
00:44:04,809 --> 00:44:05,893
Okay, so here's another
question.
804
00:44:05,977 --> 00:44:08,980
Say there's a woman that
digs you, right, but you don't
really like her that way.
805
00:44:09,063 --> 00:44:11,482
Now, how do you let her down
real easy so her feelings
aren't hurt,
806
00:44:11,566 --> 00:44:14,068
but you don't get burned
to a crisp and eaten?
How do you do that?
807
00:44:14,485 --> 00:44:16,612
You just tell her
she's not your true love.
808
00:44:16,904 --> 00:44:19,657
Everyone knowest what happens
when you find your...
809
00:44:19,740 --> 00:44:20,825
Hey!
810
00:44:22,743 --> 00:44:24,662
The sooner we get
to Duloc the better.
811
00:44:25,288 --> 00:44:27,707
Oh. Yeah, you're gonna
love it there, Princess.
It's beautiful!
812
00:44:27,790 --> 00:44:31,085
And what of my groom-to-be?
Lord Farquaad? What's he like?
813
00:44:31,169 --> 00:44:33,296
Well, let me put it this way,
Princess.
814
00:44:34,630 --> 00:44:38,593
Men of Farquaad's stature
are in short supply.
815
00:44:39,552 --> 00:44:43,264
I don't know, Shrek.
There are those
who think little of him.
816
00:44:44,432 --> 00:44:46,100
(BOTH LAUGHING)
817
00:44:46,184 --> 00:44:48,561
Stop it. Stop it,
both of you.
818
00:44:49,020 --> 00:44:51,230
You know, you're just jealous
you can never measure up
819
00:44:51,314 --> 00:44:54,108
to a great ruler
like Lord Farquaad.
820
00:44:54,192 --> 00:44:56,694
Yeah, well,
maybe you're right,
Princess.
821
00:44:57,111 --> 00:45:00,448
But I'll let you do the
"measuring" when you
see him tomorrow.
822
00:45:00,573 --> 00:45:04,452
Tomorrow?
It'll take that long?
823
00:45:05,286 --> 00:45:08,915
Shouldn't we stop
to make camp?
No, that'll take longer.
824
00:45:09,624 --> 00:45:10,791
We can keep going.
825
00:45:10,917 --> 00:45:14,003
But there's robbers
in the woods.
826
00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:17,506
Whoa! Time-out, Shrek!
Camping's definitely starting
to sound good.
827
00:45:17,590 --> 00:45:21,636
Hey, come on. I'm scarier than
anything we're going to see in
this forest.
828
00:45:21,761 --> 00:45:24,013
I need to find somewhere
to camp now!
829
00:45:24,555 --> 00:45:26,432
(BIRDS FLUTTERING)
830
00:45:29,185 --> 00:45:30,519
(GRUNTING)
831
00:45:30,978 --> 00:45:32,521
Hey! Over here.
832
00:45:33,397 --> 00:45:35,066
Shrek, we can do
better than that.
833
00:45:35,149 --> 00:45:36,984
Now, I don't think
this is fit for a princess.
834
00:45:37,818 --> 00:45:40,655
No, no, it's perfect.
It just needs a few
homey touches.
835
00:45:40,988 --> 00:45:43,741
Homey touches?
Like what?
836
00:45:44,242 --> 00:45:45,618
(CRASHING)
837
00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:49,956
A door? Well, gentlemen,
I bid thee good night.
838
00:45:50,039 --> 00:45:51,999
You want me to come in there
and read you a bedtime story?
839
00:45:52,083 --> 00:45:53,793
Because I will.
I said good night!
840
00:45:57,713 --> 00:45:58,965
Shrek, what are you doing?
841
00:46:00,174 --> 00:46:03,594
l... You know...
Oh, come on.
I was just kidding.
842
00:46:10,434 --> 00:46:13,688
SHREK: And that one,
that's Throwback,
843
00:46:13,980 --> 00:46:17,275
the only ogre to ever spit
over three wheat fields.
844
00:46:17,733 --> 00:46:19,610
DONKEY: Right. Yeah.
845
00:46:21,779 --> 00:46:23,656
Hey, can you tell my future
from these stars?
846
00:46:23,739 --> 00:46:27,285
Well, the stars don't tell
the future, Donkey.
They tell stories.
847
00:46:27,618 --> 00:46:30,204
Look, there's Bloodnut,
the flatulent.
848
00:46:30,955 --> 00:46:32,623
You can guess
what he's famous for.
849
00:46:33,207 --> 00:46:34,750
All right, now I know
you're making this up.
850
00:46:34,834 --> 00:46:37,503
SHREK: No, look.
There he is,
851
00:46:37,586 --> 00:46:40,673
and there's the group
of hunters running away
from his stench.
852
00:46:40,798 --> 00:46:43,217
Man, that ain't nothin'
but a bunch of little dots.
853
00:46:43,467 --> 00:46:46,804
You know, Donkey, sometimes,
things are more than they
appear.
854
00:46:49,765 --> 00:46:50,850
Forget it.
855
00:46:53,644 --> 00:46:54,937
(SIGHS)
856
00:46:55,187 --> 00:46:58,316
Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do
when we get our swamp anyway?
857
00:46:58,774 --> 00:46:59,775
Our swamp?
858
00:46:59,859 --> 00:47:02,361
You know, when we're through
rescuing the princess and all
that stuff.
859
00:47:02,445 --> 00:47:06,574
We? Donkey, there's no we.
There's no our.
860
00:47:06,866 --> 00:47:08,909
There's just me
and my swamp.
861
00:47:09,618 --> 00:47:13,080
And the first thing
I'm gonna do is build
a 10-foot wall around my land.
862
00:47:15,166 --> 00:47:18,085
You cut me deep, Shrek.
You cut me real deep just now.
863
00:47:19,962 --> 00:47:21,297
You know what I think?
864
00:47:21,464 --> 00:47:25,092
I think this whole wall thing
is just a way to keep
somebody out.
865
00:47:25,176 --> 00:47:27,011
No, do ya think?
866
00:47:28,554 --> 00:47:30,890
Are you hidin' something?
Never mind, Donkey.
867
00:47:31,974 --> 00:47:34,894
Oh. This is another one
of those onion things,
isn't it?
868
00:47:34,977 --> 00:47:38,606
No, this is one of those
drop-it-and-leave-it-alone
things.
869
00:47:38,689 --> 00:47:39,899
Why don't you want
to talk about it?
870
00:47:39,982 --> 00:47:42,276
Why do you want
to talk about it?
871
00:47:42,485 --> 00:47:44,320
Why are you blocking?
I'm not blocking.
872
00:47:44,403 --> 00:47:46,447
Yes, you are.
Donkey, I'm warning you.
873
00:47:46,530 --> 00:47:48,491
Who you trying to keep out?
Just tell me that, Shrek. Who?
874
00:47:48,574 --> 00:47:50,201
Everyone! Okay?
875
00:47:51,786 --> 00:47:53,621
Now we're gettin' somewhere.
876
00:47:53,996 --> 00:47:55,706
Oh! For the love of Pete!
877
00:47:56,916 --> 00:47:58,000
Hey, what's
your problem, Shrek?
878
00:47:58,084 --> 00:47:59,835
What you got
against the whole world,
anyway?
879
00:47:59,919 --> 00:48:02,088
Look, I'm not the one
with the problem, okay?
880
00:48:02,171 --> 00:48:04,840
It's the world that seems
to have a problem with me.
881
00:48:05,257 --> 00:48:09,011
People take one look at me
and go, "Help! Run!
882
00:48:09,095 --> 00:48:11,430
"A big, stupid, ugly ogre!"
883
00:48:12,848 --> 00:48:13,891
(SIGHING)
884
00:48:13,974 --> 00:48:16,143
They judge me
before they even
know me.
885
00:48:17,436 --> 00:48:18,979
That's why
I'm better off alone.
886
00:48:28,322 --> 00:48:29,323
You know what?
887
00:48:29,448 --> 00:48:33,202
When we met, I didn't think
you was just
a big, stupid, ugly ogre.
888
00:48:35,413 --> 00:48:36,455
Yeah, I know.
889
00:48:38,290 --> 00:48:41,210
So, are there
any donkeys up there?
890
00:48:41,669 --> 00:48:47,049
Well, there's Gabby,
the small and annoying.
891
00:48:47,550 --> 00:48:48,717
Okay, okay.
I see it now.
892
00:48:48,801 --> 00:48:51,470
Yeah, the big, shiny one,
right there. That one there?
893
00:48:52,721 --> 00:48:54,723
That's the moon.
Oh, okay.
894
00:49:07,069 --> 00:49:08,904
(SOOTHING MUSIC PLAYING)
895
00:49:17,997 --> 00:49:19,665
FARQUAAD: Again.
Show me again.
896
00:49:21,375 --> 00:49:23,043
(MUSIC REWINDS)
897
00:49:23,961 --> 00:49:27,631
Mirror, mirror,
show her to me.
Show me the princess.
898
00:49:28,632 --> 00:49:29,842
Hmm.
899
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:32,803
(SOOTHING MUSIC PLAYING)
900
00:49:34,221 --> 00:49:35,389
Perfect.
901
00:49:46,066 --> 00:49:47,443
(SNORING)
902
00:49:54,283 --> 00:49:57,119
(VOCALIZING)
903
00:50:00,873 --> 00:50:02,833
(WHISTLING)
904
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:19,808
(HIGH-PITCHED VOCALIZING)
905
00:50:31,195 --> 00:50:32,947
(SIZZLING)
906
00:50:36,033 --> 00:50:37,993
(YAWNS)
907
00:50:41,247 --> 00:50:42,915
DONKEY:
Yeah, you know
I like it like that.
908
00:50:44,291 --> 00:50:47,670
Come on, baby.
I said I like it.
Donkey, wake up.
909
00:50:48,170 --> 00:50:49,296
What?
Wake up.
910
00:50:51,173 --> 00:50:52,299
What?
FIONA: Morning.
911
00:50:54,301 --> 00:50:55,553
How do you like your eggs?
912
00:50:56,136 --> 00:50:57,846
Good morning, Princess!
913
00:50:57,930 --> 00:50:59,348
What's all this about?
914
00:50:59,431 --> 00:51:03,227
You know, we kind of got off
to a bad start yesterday,
915
00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:05,145
and I wanted to
make it up to you.
916
00:51:05,604 --> 00:51:09,108
I mean, after all,
you did rescue me.
917
00:51:10,276 --> 00:51:11,485
Uh...
918
00:51:11,569 --> 00:51:12,570
Thanks.
919
00:51:13,571 --> 00:51:16,824
Well, eat up.
We've got a big day
ahead of us.
920
00:51:21,996 --> 00:51:23,038
(BELCHES)
921
00:51:23,122 --> 00:51:25,541
Shrek!
What? It's a compliment.
922
00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:27,835
Better out than in,
I always say.
923
00:51:28,627 --> 00:51:30,546
Well, it's no way to behave
in front of a princess.
924
00:51:30,629 --> 00:51:31,797
(BELCHES)
925
00:51:32,715 --> 00:51:33,716
Thanks.
926
00:51:33,799 --> 00:51:35,175
She's as nasty
as you are.
927
00:51:36,385 --> 00:51:39,972
You know, you're not exactly
what I expected.
928
00:51:40,055 --> 00:51:43,976
Well, maybe you shouldn't
judge people before
you get to know them.
929
00:51:45,519 --> 00:51:47,021
(FIONA VOCALIZING)
930
00:51:48,022 --> 00:51:50,566
(EXCLAIMING IN FRENCH) Hey!
931
00:51:50,649 --> 00:51:51,734
Princess!
932
00:51:53,235 --> 00:51:55,029
Wait, wait.
What are you doing?
933
00:51:55,112 --> 00:51:58,282
Be still, mon cherie,
for I am your savior!
934
00:51:58,365 --> 00:52:03,746
And I am rescuing you
from this green beast.
935
00:52:04,913 --> 00:52:08,250
Hey! That's my princess!
Go find your own!
936
00:52:08,542 --> 00:52:13,047
Please, monster! Can't you see
I'm a little busy here?
937
00:52:13,714 --> 00:52:16,675
Look, pal, I don't know
who you think you are!
938
00:52:17,092 --> 00:52:21,347
Of course! How rude.
Please, let me
introduce myself.
939
00:52:21,639 --> 00:52:23,682
Oh, Merry Men!
940
00:52:23,766 --> 00:52:25,225
(CHUCKLES)
941
00:52:25,643 --> 00:52:27,561
(PLAYING ACCORDION)
942
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:29,980
(ALL VOCALIZING)
943
00:52:30,648 --> 00:52:32,816
(SINGING)
I steal from the rich
and give to the needy
944
00:52:32,900 --> 00:52:34,818
He takes a wee percentage
But I'm not greedy
945
00:52:34,902 --> 00:52:37,029
I rescue pretty damsels,
man, I'm good
946
00:52:37,112 --> 00:52:39,031
What a guy, Monsieur Hood
947
00:52:39,114 --> 00:52:40,115
Break it down
948
00:52:40,199 --> 00:52:41,992
(WHISTLING)
949
00:52:43,786 --> 00:52:45,871
I like an honest fight
and a saucy little maid
950
00:52:45,954 --> 00:52:47,665
What he's basically saying
is he likes to get...
951
00:52:47,748 --> 00:52:48,916
Paid
So
952
00:52:48,999 --> 00:52:51,085
When an ogre in the bush
grabs a lady by the tush
953
00:52:51,168 --> 00:52:52,252
That's bad
That's bad
954
00:52:52,336 --> 00:52:53,462
That's bad
That's bad
955
00:52:53,545 --> 00:52:56,256
When a beauty's with a beast
it makes me awfully mad
956
00:52:56,340 --> 00:52:57,800
He's mad, he's really,
really mad
957
00:52:57,883 --> 00:52:59,718
I'll take my blade
and ram it through your heart
958
00:52:59,802 --> 00:53:05,224
Keep your eyes on me, boys
‘cause I'm about to start
959
00:53:06,975 --> 00:53:08,769
(FIONA EXCLAIMING)
960
00:53:09,311 --> 00:53:10,312
(GASPING)
961
00:53:11,230 --> 00:53:12,564
Man, that was annoying!
962
00:53:13,023 --> 00:53:14,108
You little...
963
00:53:17,236 --> 00:53:18,696
(ACCORDION MUSIC CONTINUES)
964
00:53:35,921 --> 00:53:36,922
(YELLING)
965
00:53:43,303 --> 00:53:44,430
Shall we?
966
00:53:46,598 --> 00:53:47,683
Hold the phone.
967
00:53:50,853 --> 00:53:52,688
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hold on now.
968
00:53:52,771 --> 00:53:54,606
Where did that come from?
What?
969
00:53:54,690 --> 00:53:57,443
That! Back there.
That was amazing!
970
00:53:57,943 --> 00:53:59,194
Where did you learn that?
971
00:53:59,653 --> 00:54:02,656
Well, when one lives alone,
972
00:54:03,157 --> 00:54:05,617
one has to learn these things
in case there's a...
973
00:54:05,701 --> 00:54:07,161
There's an arrow
in your butt!
974
00:54:07,244 --> 00:54:08,287
What?
975
00:54:08,454 --> 00:54:09,705
Oh, would you look at that?
976
00:54:10,164 --> 00:54:11,957
Oh, no.
This is all my fault.
977
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:13,709
I'm so sorry.
Why? What's wrong?
978
00:54:13,792 --> 00:54:14,793
Shrek's hurt.
979
00:54:15,002 --> 00:54:16,336
Shrek's hurt.
Shrek's hurt?
980
00:54:16,462 --> 00:54:19,298
Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die.
Donkey, I'm okay.
981
00:54:19,506 --> 00:54:21,633
Oh, you can't
do this to me, Shrek.
I'm too young for you to die.
982
00:54:21,717 --> 00:54:23,719
Keep your legs elevated.
Turn your head and cough.
983
00:54:23,802 --> 00:54:26,889
Does anyone know
the Heimlich?
Donkey! Calm down.
984
00:54:27,014 --> 00:54:28,432
If you want
to help Shrek,
985
00:54:28,724 --> 00:54:31,602
run into the woods and find me
a blue flower with red thorns.
986
00:54:31,685 --> 00:54:34,438
Blue flower, red thorns.
Okay, I'm on it.
Blue flower, red thorns.
987
00:54:34,521 --> 00:54:36,148
Blue flower, red thorns.
Don't die Shrek.
988
00:54:36,231 --> 00:54:38,567
And if you see a long tunnel,
stay away from the light!
989
00:54:38,650 --> 00:54:39,777
Donkey!
Donkey!
990
00:54:39,860 --> 00:54:41,987
Oh, yeah. Right.
Blue flower, red thorns.
991
00:54:42,070 --> 00:54:44,490
Blue flower, red thorns.
What are
the flowers for?
992
00:54:44,573 --> 00:54:46,742
For getting rid
of Donkey.
Ah.
993
00:54:46,825 --> 00:54:49,036
Now, you hold still,
and I'll yank this thing out.
994
00:54:49,119 --> 00:54:50,954
Ow! Hey!
Easy with the yankin'.
995
00:54:51,038 --> 00:54:53,081
I'm sorry,
but it has to come out.
996
00:54:53,165 --> 00:54:54,875
Now, let me...
No, it's tender.
997
00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:56,293
Now, hold on.
What you're doing
998
00:54:56,376 --> 00:54:57,753
is the opposite of help.
Don't move.
999
00:54:57,836 --> 00:55:00,297
Okay. Look, look, time-out.
Would you...
1000
00:55:02,007 --> 00:55:05,385
Okay. What do you
propose we do?
1001
00:55:05,886 --> 00:55:08,180
Blue flower, red thorns.
Blue flower, red thorns.
Blue flower, red thorns.
1002
00:55:08,263 --> 00:55:10,682
This would be so much easier
if I wasn't color blind!
1003
00:55:10,766 --> 00:55:12,684
Blue flower, red thorns.
Blue flower, red thorns.
1004
00:55:12,935 --> 00:55:14,436
SHREK: Ow!
Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'!
1005
00:55:17,105 --> 00:55:18,982
Ow! Not good.
1006
00:55:19,066 --> 00:55:22,611
Okay. Okay,
I can nearly see the head.
It's just about...
1007
00:55:22,694 --> 00:55:24,071
(EXCLAIMING)
1008
00:55:26,365 --> 00:55:27,616
(DONKEY CLEARING THROAT)
1009
00:55:28,617 --> 00:55:30,994
Nothing happened.
We were just...
1010
00:55:31,703 --> 00:55:34,915
Look, if you wanted to
be alone, all you had to do
was ask, okay?
1011
00:55:35,123 --> 00:55:38,377
Oh, come on!
That's the last thing
on my mind.
1012
00:55:38,585 --> 00:55:40,629
The princess here
was just...
1013
00:55:40,838 --> 00:55:42,172
(GROANS)
1014
00:55:45,425 --> 00:55:46,718
Ow!
1015
00:55:46,969 --> 00:55:50,597
Hey, what's that? That's...
Is that blood?
1016
00:55:59,606 --> 00:56:01,024
(GRUNTING)
1017
00:56:05,612 --> 00:56:07,239
(MY BELOVED MONSTER PLAYING)
1018
00:56:07,322 --> 00:56:10,701
My beloved monster and me
1019
00:56:12,286 --> 00:56:14,997
We go everywhere together
1020
00:56:16,874 --> 00:56:20,794
Wearin' a raincoat that has
four sleeves
1021
00:56:21,962 --> 00:56:24,548
Gets us through all kinds
of weather
1022
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:30,429
She will always be
the only thing
1023
00:56:31,805 --> 00:56:35,392
That comes between me and
the awful sting
1024
00:56:36,310 --> 00:56:41,857
That comes from living
in a world
that's so damn mean
1025
00:56:47,529 --> 00:56:48,530
(CROAKING)
1026
00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:10,302
Hey!
1027
00:57:11,887 --> 00:57:13,180
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1028
00:57:21,521 --> 00:57:22,856
There it is, Princess.
1029
00:57:24,358 --> 00:57:25,609
Your future awaits you.
1030
00:57:26,068 --> 00:57:28,153
That's Duloc?
Yeah, I know.
1031
00:57:28,236 --> 00:57:30,739
You know, Shrek thinks
Lord Farquaad's compensating
for something,
1032
00:57:30,822 --> 00:57:33,492
which I think means
he has a really... Ow!
1033
00:57:33,825 --> 00:57:34,868
l, uh...
1034
00:57:35,494 --> 00:57:36,828
I guess
we better move on.
1035
00:57:36,995 --> 00:57:39,164
Sure. But, Shrek?
1036
00:57:40,332 --> 00:57:42,960
I'm... I'm worried
about Donkey.
1037
00:57:43,126 --> 00:57:45,295
What?
I mean, look at him.
1038
00:57:45,629 --> 00:57:47,172
He doesn't look
SO good.
1039
00:57:47,255 --> 00:57:48,674
What are you talking about?
I'm fine.
1040
00:57:48,757 --> 00:57:50,133
Well, that's what they
always say,
1041
00:57:50,217 --> 00:57:52,636
and then,
next thing you know,
you're on your back.
1042
00:57:54,346 --> 00:57:56,181
Dead.
You know, she's right.
1043
00:57:56,306 --> 00:57:58,976
You look awful.
Do you want to
sit down?
1044
00:57:59,059 --> 00:58:00,519
You know,
I'll make you
some tea.
1045
00:58:01,103 --> 00:58:03,647
Well, I didn't want to say
nothin', but I got this
twinge in my neck,
1046
00:58:03,730 --> 00:58:05,190
and when
I turn my head like
this, look.
1047
00:58:05,649 --> 00:58:06,817
Ow! See?
Who's hungry?
1048
00:58:07,067 --> 00:58:08,235
I'll find us
some dinner.
1049
00:58:08,318 --> 00:58:09,361
I'll get
the firewood.
1050
00:58:09,444 --> 00:58:13,407
Hey, where you goin'?
Oh, man,
I can't feel my toes!
1051
00:58:14,408 --> 00:58:15,659
I don't have any toes!
1052
00:58:16,910 --> 00:58:18,412
I think I need a hug.
1053
00:58:22,374 --> 00:58:25,627
(MUNCHING) Mmm. Mmm.
1054
00:58:26,253 --> 00:58:28,922
This is good.
This is really good.
1055
00:58:31,216 --> 00:58:32,217
What is this?
1056
00:58:32,384 --> 00:58:33,385
Weedrat.
1057
00:58:34,261 --> 00:58:35,554
Rotisserie style.
1058
00:58:35,679 --> 00:58:36,763
No kidding.
1059
00:58:38,724 --> 00:58:40,058
Well, this is delicious.
1060
00:58:40,267 --> 00:58:42,019
Well, they're also
great in stews.
1061
00:58:42,519 --> 00:58:47,065
Now, I don't mean to brag,
but I make
a mean weedrat stew.
1062
00:58:49,693 --> 00:58:50,819
(SIGHING)
1063
00:58:50,902 --> 00:58:53,864
I guess I'll be dining
a little differently
tomorrow night.
1064
00:58:56,033 --> 00:58:58,910
Maybe you can come visit me
in the swamp sometime.
1065
00:58:59,911 --> 00:59:01,872
I'll cook all kinds
of stuff for you.
1066
00:59:01,955 --> 00:59:05,208
Swamp-toad soup,
fish-eye tartare,
you name it.
1067
00:59:07,919 --> 00:59:09,004
I'd like that.
1068
00:59:11,548 --> 00:59:12,549
(LAUGHING)
1069
00:59:15,886 --> 00:59:20,223
(YOU BELONG TO ME PLAYING)
1070
00:59:21,850 --> 00:59:25,645
Princess?
Yes, Shrek?
1071
00:59:26,563 --> 00:59:30,984
I... I was wondering.
Are you...
1072
00:59:35,989 --> 00:59:37,240
Are you gonna eat that?
1073
00:59:44,748 --> 00:59:47,918
Man, isn't this romantic?
Just look at that sunset.
1074
00:59:48,251 --> 00:59:53,090
Sunset? Oh, no!
I mean, it's late.
It's very late.
1075
00:59:53,173 --> 00:59:54,633
What?
Wait a minute.
1076
00:59:54,716 --> 00:59:56,426
I see what's
goin' on here.
1077
00:59:57,177 --> 00:59:59,638
You're afraid of the dark,
aren't you?
Yes!
1078
00:59:59,846 --> 01:00:03,433
Yes, that's it. I'm terrified.
You know what,
I'd better go inside.
1079
01:00:03,517 --> 01:00:04,768
Don't feel bad, Princess.
1080
01:00:04,851 --> 01:00:07,062
I used to be
afraid of the dark,
too, until...
1081
01:00:07,354 --> 01:00:09,481
Hey, no, wait.
I'm still afraid
of the dark.
1082
01:00:09,648 --> 01:00:10,649
(SIGHING)
1083
01:00:11,566 --> 01:00:12,567
Good night.
1084
01:00:13,527 --> 01:00:14,528
Good night.
1085
01:00:19,574 --> 01:00:22,285
Mmm. Now I really see
what's goin' on here.
1086
01:00:22,410 --> 01:00:23,995
Oh, what are you
talkin' about?
1087
01:00:24,121 --> 01:00:26,665
Hey, I don't even wanna
hear it. Look, I'm an animal,
and I got instincts.
1088
01:00:26,748 --> 01:00:29,042
And I know you two
were diggin' on each other.
I could feel it.
1089
01:00:29,126 --> 01:00:32,379
Oh, you're crazy.
I'm just bringing
her back to Farquaad.
1090
01:00:33,255 --> 01:00:35,841
Come on, Shrek.
Wake up and
smell the pheromones.
1091
01:00:36,133 --> 01:00:37,467
Just goonin
and tell her how
you feel.
1092
01:00:39,010 --> 01:00:42,722
There's nothing to tell.
Besides, even if I did
tell her that...
1093
01:00:42,889 --> 01:00:47,769
Well, you know. And I'm not
sayin' I do, ‘cause I don't...
1094
01:00:48,603 --> 01:00:50,438
She's a princess,
and I'm...
1095
01:00:51,189 --> 01:00:52,190
An ogre?
1096
01:00:53,900 --> 01:00:55,861
Yeah. An ogre.
1097
01:00:56,820 --> 01:01:00,574
Hey, where you goin'?
To get more firewood.
1098
01:01:11,042 --> 01:01:12,294
(SIGHING)
1099
01:01:19,759 --> 01:01:23,263
Princess? Princess Fiona?
1100
01:01:28,643 --> 01:01:30,270
Princess, where are you?
1101
01:01:31,271 --> 01:01:32,272
(BATS SCREECHING)
1102
01:01:36,359 --> 01:01:37,402
Princess?
1103
01:01:39,237 --> 01:01:40,822
(CREAKING)
(GASPING)
1104
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:45,035
It's very spooky in here
and I ain't playing no games.
1105
01:01:54,836 --> 01:01:55,879
(SCREAMING)
1106
01:01:55,962 --> 01:01:57,672
No! No! Shh!
Oh, no, help!
1107
01:01:58,298 --> 01:02:00,926
Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
No, it's okay. It's okay.
1108
01:02:01,009 --> 01:02:03,720
What did you do
with the princess?
Donkey, shh, I'm the princess.
1109
01:02:04,221 --> 01:02:06,348
It's me, in this body.
1110
01:02:06,431 --> 01:02:09,142
Oh, my God!
You ate the princess!
1111
01:02:09,309 --> 01:02:10,852
Can you hear me?
Donkey!
1112
01:02:10,936 --> 01:02:12,687
Listen, keep breathing!
No!
1113
01:02:12,771 --> 01:02:16,191
I'll get you out of there!
Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
1114
01:02:16,274 --> 01:02:18,068
Shrek!
Shh. This is me.
1115
01:02:18,860 --> 01:02:20,278
(MUMBLING)
1116
01:02:23,907 --> 01:02:25,158
Princess?
1117
01:02:26,534 --> 01:02:31,373
What happened to you?
You're, uh, different.
1118
01:02:31,456 --> 01:02:33,208
I'm ugly, okay?
1119
01:02:33,291 --> 01:02:35,252
Well, yeah.
Was it something
that you ate?
1120
01:02:35,335 --> 01:02:37,254
'Cause I told Shrek
those rats was a bad idea.
1121
01:02:37,337 --> 01:02:39,506
"You are what you eat,"
I said. Now...
No.
1122
01:02:39,881 --> 01:02:43,093
I've been this way
as long as I can remember.
1123
01:02:43,385 --> 01:02:45,887
What do you mean?
Look, I ain't never seen
you like this before.
1124
01:02:46,179 --> 01:02:48,848
It only happens
when the sun
goes down.
1125
01:02:50,642 --> 01:02:53,812
"By night one way,
by day another.
1126
01:02:54,396 --> 01:02:58,984
"This shall be the norm
until you find
true love's first kiss
1127
01:02:59,567 --> 01:03:02,279
"and then take
love's true form."
1128
01:03:04,906 --> 01:03:07,617
Aw. That's beautiful.
I didn't know
you wrote poetry.
1129
01:03:07,701 --> 01:03:08,910
It's a spell.
1130
01:03:09,661 --> 01:03:10,912
(SIGHS IN EXASPERATION)
1131
01:03:10,996 --> 01:03:14,416
When I was a little girl,
a witch cast a spell on me.
1132
01:03:15,417 --> 01:03:17,502
Every night, I become this,
1133
01:03:18,753 --> 01:03:21,339
this horrible, ugly beast.
1134
01:03:24,134 --> 01:03:28,179
I was placed in a tower
to await the day my true love
would rescue me.
1135
01:03:29,222 --> 01:03:31,725
That's why I have to marry
Lord Farquaad tomorrow
1136
01:03:31,808 --> 01:03:37,147
before the sun sets
and he sees me like this.
1137
01:03:37,939 --> 01:03:39,190
(SOBBING)
1138
01:03:39,482 --> 01:03:42,444
All right, all right.
Calm down.
Look, it's not that bad.
1139
01:03:42,819 --> 01:03:46,406
You're not that ugly.
Well, I ain't gonna lie.
You are ugly.
1140
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:50,118
But you only look
like this at night.
Shrek's ugly 24-7.
1141
01:03:50,285 --> 01:03:53,371
But, Donkey,
I'm a princess,
1142
01:03:53,872 --> 01:03:56,207
and this is not
how a princess
is meant to look.
1143
01:03:58,168 --> 01:04:00,962
Princess, how 'bout
if you don't marry
Farquaad?
1144
01:04:01,254 --> 01:04:02,422
I have to.
1145
01:04:03,048 --> 01:04:05,633
Only my true love's kiss
can break the spell.
1146
01:04:06,426 --> 01:04:09,262
But, you know, um,
you're kind of an ogre,
1147
01:04:09,554 --> 01:04:12,891
and Shrek,
well, you got a lot
in common.
1148
01:04:13,558 --> 01:04:14,559
Shrek?
1149
01:04:15,226 --> 01:04:18,271
Princess, I...
How's it going,
first of all?
1150
01:04:18,813 --> 01:04:22,442
Good? Um...
Good for me, too.
I'm okay.
1151
01:04:23,068 --> 01:04:28,156
I saw this flower and
thought of you
because it's pretty and...
1152
01:04:28,490 --> 01:04:31,868
Well, I don't really like it,
but I thought
you might like it
1153
01:04:31,951 --> 01:04:35,163
‘cause you're pretty.
But I like you anyway.
I'd...
1154
01:04:35,413 --> 01:04:37,082
(STAMMERING)
1155
01:04:38,333 --> 01:04:41,753
I'm in trouble.
Okay, here we go.
1156
01:04:41,836 --> 01:04:43,838
FIONA:
I can't just marry
whoever I want.
1157
01:04:44,547 --> 01:04:46,091
Take a good look
at me, Donkey.
1158
01:04:46,925 --> 01:04:48,134
I mean, really,
1159
01:04:48,843 --> 01:04:51,554
who could ever love a beast
so hideous and ugly?
1160
01:04:51,846 --> 01:04:53,807
Princess and ugly don't
go together.
1161
01:04:53,890 --> 01:04:56,184
That's why I can't
stay here with Shrek.
1162
01:04:56,476 --> 01:05:00,772
My only chance to live
happily ever after
is to marry my true love.
1163
01:05:00,855 --> 01:05:02,315
(SIGHING)
1164
01:05:02,399 --> 01:05:06,444
Don't you see, Donkey?
That's just how it has to be.
1165
01:05:08,988 --> 01:05:10,782
It's the only way
to break the spell.
1166
01:05:11,282 --> 01:05:13,118
Well, you at least
gotta tell Shrek the truth.
1167
01:05:13,201 --> 01:05:16,579
No! No, you can't
breathe a word.
No one must ever know.
1168
01:05:16,663 --> 01:05:19,040
What's the point of
being able to talk if you
gotta keep secrets?
1169
01:05:19,124 --> 01:05:21,626
Promise you won't tell.
Promise!
1170
01:05:21,709 --> 01:05:24,462
All right, all right.
I won't tell him.
But you should.
1171
01:05:25,505 --> 01:05:28,466
I just know before this
is over, I'm gonna need a
whole lot of serious therapy.
1172
01:05:28,550 --> 01:05:29,801
Look at my eye twitchin'.
1173
01:05:49,028 --> 01:05:50,238
(SIGHING)
1174
01:05:51,239 --> 01:05:52,323
(SNORING)
1175
01:05:54,951 --> 01:05:57,704
FIONA: I tell him,
I tell him not.
1176
01:05:59,539 --> 01:06:02,292
I tell him,
I tell him not.
1177
01:06:03,877 --> 01:06:04,919
I tell him.
1178
01:06:05,545 --> 01:06:09,716
Shrek! Shrek,
there's something
I want...
1179
01:06:31,404 --> 01:06:32,489
Shrek.
1180
01:06:34,324 --> 01:06:35,325
Are you all right?
1181
01:06:35,492 --> 01:06:37,577
Perfect!
Never been better.
1182
01:06:38,536 --> 01:06:41,748
l... 1 don't...
There's something
I have to tell you.
1183
01:06:41,831 --> 01:06:44,292
You don't have to tell me
anything, Princess.
1184
01:06:44,542 --> 01:06:46,044
I heard enough
last night.
1185
01:06:46,127 --> 01:06:48,546
You heard what I said?
Every word.
1186
01:06:49,130 --> 01:06:50,798
Well, I thought
you'd understand.
1187
01:06:50,882 --> 01:06:51,966
Oh, I understand.
1188
01:06:52,425 --> 01:06:56,471
Like you said,
"Who could love a
hideous, ugly beast?"
1189
01:06:57,639 --> 01:06:59,224
But I thought
that wouldn't
matter to you.
1190
01:06:59,307 --> 01:07:01,100
Yeah? Well, it does.
1191
01:07:02,727 --> 01:07:03,728
(HORSE NEIGHING)
1192
01:07:04,103 --> 01:07:05,647
Ah! Right on time.
1193
01:07:06,356 --> 01:07:08,816
Princess, I've brought you
a little something.
1194
01:07:08,900 --> 01:07:10,610
(FANFARE)
1195
01:07:14,572 --> 01:07:15,949
What'd I miss?
What'd I miss?
1196
01:07:17,617 --> 01:07:19,619
Now who said that?
Couldn't have been a donkey.
1197
01:07:20,995 --> 01:07:23,081
Princess Fiona.
1198
01:07:23,164 --> 01:07:26,000
As promised.
Now, hand it over.
1199
01:07:26,376 --> 01:07:30,588
Very well, ogre.
The deed to your swamp,
cleared out, as agreed.
1200
01:07:30,672 --> 01:07:34,592
Take it and go
before I change
my mind.
1201
01:07:35,301 --> 01:07:39,430
Forgive me, Princess,
for startling you,
but you startled me,
1202
01:07:40,139 --> 01:07:43,393
for I have never seen
such a radiant beauty before.
1203
01:07:43,977 --> 01:07:46,854
I am Lord Farquaad.
1204
01:07:47,272 --> 01:07:50,942
Lord Farquaad?
Oh. No, no.
1205
01:07:51,985 --> 01:07:54,779
Forgive me, my lord,
for I was just saying a short
1206
01:07:58,324 --> 01:07:59,325
farewell.
1207
01:07:59,617 --> 01:08:00,910
That is so sweet.
1208
01:08:00,994 --> 01:08:03,705
You don't have to waste good
manners on the ogre.
(CHUCKLES)
1209
01:08:04,747 --> 01:08:06,249
It's not like
it has feelings.
1210
01:08:06,958 --> 01:08:09,836
No, you're right.
It doesn't.
1211
01:08:10,545 --> 01:08:14,382
Princess Fiona,
beautiful, fair,
flawless Fiona.
1212
01:08:14,674 --> 01:08:17,510
I ask your hand
in marriage.
Ah!
1213
01:08:17,802 --> 01:08:21,764
Will you be the perfect bride
for the perfect groom?
1214
01:08:26,728 --> 01:08:31,065
Lord Farquaad, I accept.
Nothing would make...
1215
01:08:31,149 --> 01:08:34,527
FARQUAAD: Excellent!
I'll start the plans,
for tomorrow we wed!
1216
01:08:34,611 --> 01:08:38,031
No! I mean, why wait?
1217
01:08:39,032 --> 01:08:42,118
Let's get married today
before sunset.
1218
01:08:42,827 --> 01:08:45,455
Oh. Anxious, are we?
You're right.
1219
01:08:45,747 --> 01:08:48,124
The sooner, the better.
There's so much to do!
(SNAPS FINGERS)
1220
01:08:49,584 --> 01:08:51,919
There's the caterer, the cake,
the band, the guest list.
1221
01:08:52,003 --> 01:08:53,880
Captain, round up
some guests!
1222
01:08:55,465 --> 01:08:56,966
Fare thee well, ogre.
1223
01:08:58,051 --> 01:09:00,219
Shrek, what are you doing?
You're letting her get away.
1224
01:09:00,386 --> 01:09:01,846
Yeah? So what?
1225
01:09:02,013 --> 01:09:04,098
Shrek, there's something
about her you don't know.
Look,
1226
01:09:04,515 --> 01:09:06,059
I talked to her last night.
She's...
1227
01:09:06,142 --> 01:09:07,894
I know you talked
to her last night.
1228
01:09:08,394 --> 01:09:09,896
You're great pals,
aren't ya?
1229
01:09:10,438 --> 01:09:13,691
Now, if you two are such
good friends,
why don't you follow her home?
1230
01:09:13,775 --> 01:09:15,777
But, Shrek,
I wanna go with you.
1231
01:09:15,860 --> 01:09:18,655
Hey, I told you, didn't 1?
You're not coming home
with me.
1232
01:09:18,863 --> 01:09:22,867
I live alone! My swamp!
Me! Nobody else!
1233
01:09:22,950 --> 01:09:24,869
Understand? Nobody!
1234
01:09:25,119 --> 01:09:29,832
Especially useless, pathetic,
annoying, talking donkeys!
1235
01:09:30,041 --> 01:09:31,501
But I thought...
1236
01:09:31,584 --> 01:09:32,919
Yeah. You know what?
1237
01:09:33,378 --> 01:09:34,712
You thought wrong!
1238
01:09:37,382 --> 01:09:38,424
Shrek.
1239
01:09:42,887 --> 01:09:45,181
(HALLELUJAH PLAYING)
1240
01:09:45,473 --> 01:09:48,559
I heard there was
a secret chord
1241
01:09:48,935 --> 01:09:52,105
That David played and it
pleased the Lord
1242
01:09:52,188 --> 01:09:56,651
But you don't really care
for music, do ya?
1243
01:09:58,986 --> 01:10:02,198
It goes like this,
the fourth, the fifth
1244
01:10:02,407 --> 01:10:05,326
The minor fall,
the major lift
1245
01:10:05,618 --> 01:10:10,748
The baffled king
composing hallelujah
1246
01:10:11,666 --> 01:10:14,168
Hallelujah
1247
01:10:15,044 --> 01:10:17,338
Hallelujah
1248
01:10:18,464 --> 01:10:21,300
Hallelujah
1249
01:10:21,843 --> 01:10:26,889
Hallelujah
1250
01:10:29,434 --> 01:10:32,520
Baby, I've been here before
1251
01:10:32,812 --> 01:10:35,815
I know this room,
I've walked this floor
1252
01:10:35,898 --> 01:10:40,987
I used to live alone
before I knew you
1253
01:10:42,780 --> 01:10:46,117
I've seen your flag
on the marble arch
1254
01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:49,245
But love is not
a victory march
1255
01:10:49,370 --> 01:10:54,250
It's a cold and
it's a broken hallelujah
1256
01:10:55,334 --> 01:10:58,004
Hallelujah
1257
01:10:58,629 --> 01:11:01,048
Hallelujah
1258
01:11:02,049 --> 01:11:04,761
Hallelujah
1259
01:11:05,344 --> 01:11:10,558
Hallelujah
1260
01:11:12,727 --> 01:11:15,855
And all I ever learned
from love
1261
01:11:16,105 --> 01:11:20,651
Is how to shoot at someone
who outdrew you
1262
01:11:20,777 --> 01:11:21,944
(MOANING)
1263
01:11:22,069 --> 01:11:25,490
And it's not a cry
you can hear at night
1264
01:11:25,573 --> 01:11:28,701
It's not somebody
who's seen the light
1265
01:11:28,826 --> 01:11:34,123
It's a cold and it's
a broken hallelujah
1266
01:11:34,832 --> 01:11:37,543
Hallelujah
1267
01:11:38,127 --> 01:11:40,630
Hallelujah
1268
01:11:41,547 --> 01:11:44,467
Hallelujah
1269
01:11:44,884 --> 01:11:50,765
Hallelujah
1270
01:11:55,686 --> 01:11:56,854
(THUMPING)
1271
01:11:59,941 --> 01:12:03,945
Donkey? What are you doing?
1272
01:12:04,028 --> 01:12:07,031
I would think, of all people,
you would recognize a wall
when you see one.
1273
01:12:07,365 --> 01:12:08,616
Well, yeah.
1274
01:12:08,991 --> 01:12:12,453
But the wall's supposed
to go around my swamp,
not through it.
1275
01:12:12,537 --> 01:12:15,331
It is around your half.
See, that's your half,
and this is my half.
1276
01:12:15,414 --> 01:12:18,000
Oh. Your half. Hmm.
1277
01:12:18,084 --> 01:12:20,711
Yes, my half.
I helped rescue
the princess.
1278
01:12:20,795 --> 01:12:22,964
I did half the work,
I get half the booty.
1279
01:12:23,047 --> 01:12:25,716
Now, hand me that
big, old rock, the one that
looks like your head.
1280
01:12:26,384 --> 01:12:27,385
Back off!
1281
01:12:27,468 --> 01:12:28,803
No, you back off.
1282
01:12:28,886 --> 01:12:31,055
This is my swamp!
Our swamp.
1283
01:12:31,138 --> 01:12:32,515
Let go, Donkey!
You let go.
1284
01:12:32,598 --> 01:12:34,809
Stubborn jackass!
Smelly ogre.
1285
01:12:34,892 --> 01:12:35,893
Fine!
1286
01:12:37,228 --> 01:12:39,021
Hey, come back here.
I'm not through with you yet.
1287
01:12:39,105 --> 01:12:40,731
Well, I'm through
with you.
1288
01:12:40,940 --> 01:12:43,901
You know,
with you, it's always,
"Me, me, me!"
1289
01:12:44,151 --> 01:12:46,529
Well, guess what!
Now it's my turn!
1290
01:12:46,737 --> 01:12:48,906
So, you just shut up
and pay attention!
1291
01:12:49,407 --> 01:12:50,575
You are mean to me.
1292
01:12:50,992 --> 01:12:53,494
You insult me and you don't
appreciate anything that I do!
1293
01:12:53,870 --> 01:12:56,205
You're always
pushing me around
or pushing me away.
1294
01:12:56,289 --> 01:13:00,543
Yeah? Well, if I treated
you so bad, how come
you came back?
1295
01:13:00,668 --> 01:13:03,880
Because that's what
friends do!
They forgive each other!
1296
01:13:04,297 --> 01:13:07,091
Oh, yeah.
You're right, Donkey.
1297
01:13:07,300 --> 01:13:10,553
I forgive you
for stabbin' me
in the back!
1298
01:13:12,054 --> 01:13:13,431
(GROANS IN EXASPERATION)
1299
01:13:13,514 --> 01:13:16,976
You're so wrapped up
in layers, onion boy, you're
afraid of your own feelings.
1300
01:13:17,059 --> 01:13:18,060
SHREK: Go away!
1301
01:13:18,144 --> 01:13:20,730
See, there you are,
doing it again just like
you did to Fiona.
1302
01:13:20,813 --> 01:13:23,190
And all she ever do
was like you,
maybe even love you.
1303
01:13:23,274 --> 01:13:27,528
SHREK: Love me?
She said I was ugly,
a hideous creature.
1304
01:13:27,737 --> 01:13:29,405
I heard
the two of you talking.
1305
01:13:29,488 --> 01:13:33,534
She wasn't talkin' about you.
She was talkin' about, uh,
somebody else.
1306
01:13:36,495 --> 01:13:38,915
She wasn't talking about me?
1307
01:13:39,624 --> 01:13:41,584
Well, then who
was she talking about?
1308
01:13:41,667 --> 01:13:43,252
No way.
I ain't saying anything.
1309
01:13:43,336 --> 01:13:44,545
You don't wanna
listen to me, right?
1310
01:13:44,837 --> 01:13:46,130
Right?
Donkey!
1311
01:13:46,339 --> 01:13:47,340
No!
1312
01:13:47,423 --> 01:13:50,927
Okay, look.
I'm sorry, all right?
1313
01:13:55,932 --> 01:13:57,308
(SIGHING)
1314
01:13:57,683 --> 01:13:58,684
I'm sorry.
1315
01:13:59,769 --> 01:14:03,648
I guess I am just a big,
stupid, ugly ogre.
1316
01:14:05,066 --> 01:14:06,150
Can you forgive me?
1317
01:14:09,362 --> 01:14:10,988
Hey, that's what friends
are for, right?
1318
01:14:11,405 --> 01:14:13,449
Right. Friends?
1319
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:15,201
Friends.
1320
01:14:16,702 --> 01:14:21,207
So, um, what did Fiona
say about me?
1321
01:14:21,791 --> 01:14:24,418
What are you asking me for?
Why don't you just go ask her?
1322
01:14:25,169 --> 01:14:27,546
The wedding!
We'll never make it in time.
1323
01:14:27,630 --> 01:14:28,631
(LAUGHS)
1324
01:14:28,714 --> 01:14:32,009
Never fear for where
there's a will, there's a way,
and I have a way.
1325
01:14:32,093 --> 01:14:33,094
(WHISTLING)
1326
01:14:37,431 --> 01:14:38,474
SHREK: Donkey?
1327
01:14:38,557 --> 01:14:39,892
(DONKEY CHUCKLES)
1328
01:14:39,976 --> 01:14:42,353
DONKEY: I guess it's just
my animal magnetism.
1329
01:14:42,436 --> 01:14:44,647
(LAUGHING)
1330
01:14:44,939 --> 01:14:46,315
Come here, you.
All right, all right.
1331
01:14:46,399 --> 01:14:48,484
Don't get all slobbery.
No one likes a kiss-ass.
1332
01:14:48,567 --> 01:14:51,028
All right, hop on
and hold on tight
1333
01:14:51,112 --> 01:14:53,239
I haven't had a chance
to install the seat belts yet.
1334
01:15:01,205 --> 01:15:03,582
(SHREK WHOOPING)
1335
01:15:16,637 --> 01:15:19,056
(CHURCH BELLS RINGING)
1336
01:15:24,603 --> 01:15:25,771
ALL: Ah!
1337
01:15:25,855 --> 01:15:28,107
People of Duloc,
1338
01:15:28,941 --> 01:15:33,362
we gather here today
to bear witness
1339
01:15:33,779 --> 01:15:37,408
to the union of our new king.
Um... Excuse me.
1340
01:15:38,451 --> 01:15:40,119
Could we just skip
ahead to the "Il dos"?
1341
01:15:40,202 --> 01:15:41,203
(CHUCKLING)
1342
01:15:41,704 --> 01:15:42,747
Go on.
1343
01:15:44,957 --> 01:15:46,917
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
1344
01:15:48,294 --> 01:15:49,336
DONKEY:
Go ahead, have some fun.
1345
01:15:49,420 --> 01:15:51,547
If we need you, I'll whistle.
How about that?
1346
01:15:54,759 --> 01:15:56,260
Hey, Shrek, wait, wait!
Hey! Wait a minute!
1347
01:15:56,343 --> 01:15:59,055
Look, you wanna do this right,
don't you?
What are you talking about?
1348
01:15:59,138 --> 01:16:00,556
There's a line
you gotta wait for.
1349
01:16:00,639 --> 01:16:03,309
The priest is gonna say,
"Speak now or forever
hold your peace."
1350
01:16:03,392 --> 01:16:05,770
And that's when you say,
"I object!"
1351
01:16:05,936 --> 01:16:07,313
Oh, I don't have
time for this!
1352
01:16:07,396 --> 01:16:09,148
Hey, wait.
What are you doing?
Listen to me!
1353
01:16:09,356 --> 01:16:11,067
Look, you love this woman,
don't you?
Yes.
1354
01:16:11,150 --> 01:16:12,568
You wanna hold her?
Yes.
1355
01:16:12,735 --> 01:16:13,944
Please her?
Yes!
1356
01:16:14,028 --> 01:16:17,656
(SINGING)
Then you got to, got to try
a little tenderness
1357
01:16:17,740 --> 01:16:18,949
The chicks love
that romantic crap!
1358
01:16:19,033 --> 01:16:22,286
All right! Cut it out.
When does this guy
say the line?
1359
01:16:23,162 --> 01:16:24,246
We gotta check it out.
1360
01:16:24,622 --> 01:16:28,751
And so, by the power
vested in me...
SHREK: What do you see?
1361
01:16:28,834 --> 01:16:31,670
The whole town's in there...
I now pronounce you husband...
1362
01:16:31,754 --> 01:16:32,838
They're at the altar.
1363
01:16:32,963 --> 01:16:35,299
...and wife,
king and queen.
1364
01:16:35,382 --> 01:16:36,634
Mother Fletcher!
He already said it.
1365
01:16:36,717 --> 01:16:38,260
Oh! For the love of Pete!
1366
01:16:40,596 --> 01:16:42,306
I object!
1367
01:16:42,723 --> 01:16:43,808
Shrek?
1368
01:16:45,392 --> 01:16:46,727
Now what does
he want?
1369
01:16:46,894 --> 01:16:48,854
(ALL CLAMORING)
1370
01:16:50,481 --> 01:16:53,442
Hi, everyone.
Havin' a good time,
are ya?
1371
01:16:54,443 --> 01:16:56,612
I love Duloc, first of all.
Very clean.
1372
01:16:56,695 --> 01:16:57,696
What are you
doing here?
1373
01:16:57,780 --> 01:17:01,325
Really, it's rude enough
being alive when
no one wants you,
1374
01:17:01,408 --> 01:17:04,245
but showing up uninvited
to a wedding.
Fiona!
1375
01:17:04,954 --> 01:17:07,373
I need to talk to you.
Oh. Now you wanna talk?
1376
01:17:07,957 --> 01:17:10,709
Well, it's a little late
for that,
so if you'll excuse me.
1377
01:17:10,793 --> 01:17:12,294
But you can't marry him.
1378
01:17:12,419 --> 01:17:13,462
And why not?
1379
01:17:13,546 --> 01:17:17,258
Because...
Because he's just marrying you
so he can be king.
1380
01:17:17,591 --> 01:17:19,885
Outrageous!
Fiona, don't listen to him.
1381
01:17:19,969 --> 01:17:21,470
He's not
your true love.
1382
01:17:21,554 --> 01:17:23,347
And what do you know
about true love?
1383
01:17:23,556 --> 01:17:24,932
Well, I...
1384
01:17:25,349 --> 01:17:26,433
Uh...
1385
01:17:26,517 --> 01:17:29,436
I mean...
FARQUAAD:
Oh, this is precious.
1386
01:17:30,688 --> 01:17:34,150
The ogre has fallen in love
with the princess!
1387
01:17:34,233 --> 01:17:35,317
Oh, good Lord.
1388
01:17:35,442 --> 01:17:36,735
(ALL LAUGHING)
1389
01:17:36,902 --> 01:17:38,487
An ogre and a princess!
1390
01:17:38,737 --> 01:17:40,072
(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
1391
01:17:44,243 --> 01:17:46,620
Shrek, is this true?
1392
01:17:48,038 --> 01:17:50,541
Who cares?
It's preposterous!
1393
01:17:50,708 --> 01:17:54,295
Fiona, my love,
we're but a kiss away from
our "happily ever after."
1394
01:17:54,378 --> 01:17:55,379
Now, kiss me!
1395
01:18:01,135 --> 01:18:03,846
"By night one way,
by day another."
1396
01:18:06,932 --> 01:18:08,392
I wanted
to show you before.
1397
01:18:27,953 --> 01:18:29,288
(ALL GASPING)
1398
01:18:32,458 --> 01:18:36,253
Well, uh,
that explains a lot.
1399
01:18:36,879 --> 01:18:39,840
FARQUAAD:
Ugh! It's disgusting!
1400
01:18:40,382 --> 01:18:41,926
Guards! Guards!
1401
01:18:42,218 --> 01:18:45,387
I order you to get that
out of my sight now!
Get them!
1402
01:18:45,763 --> 01:18:47,139
Get them both!
No, no!
1403
01:18:47,223 --> 01:18:49,099
This hocus-pocus
alters nothing.
1404
01:18:49,266 --> 01:18:52,061
This marriage is binding,
and that makes me king!
1405
01:18:52,186 --> 01:18:54,480
See? See”?
No, let go of me!
Shrek!
1406
01:18:54,563 --> 01:18:56,273
No!
FARQUAAD: Don't just
stand there, you morons.
1407
01:18:56,357 --> 01:18:58,859
Get out of my way! Fiona!
1408
01:19:01,111 --> 01:19:02,446
(ROARING)
1409
01:19:03,072 --> 01:19:05,157
FARQUAAD:
I'll make you regret
the day we met.
1410
01:19:05,366 --> 01:19:07,159
I'll see you drawn
and quartered!
1411
01:19:07,243 --> 01:19:10,162
You'll beg for death
to save you!
No! Shrek!
1412
01:19:10,246 --> 01:19:12,998
And as for you, my wife...
Fiona!
1413
01:19:13,082 --> 01:19:16,502
...I'll have you locked
back in that tower for
the rest of your days!
1414
01:19:17,002 --> 01:19:19,255
I am king! I will have order!
(WHISTLES)
1415
01:19:19,338 --> 01:19:22,132
I will have perfection!
I will have...
1416
01:19:23,592 --> 01:19:25,094
(SCREAMING)
1417
01:19:28,347 --> 01:19:29,515
All right. Nobody move.
1418
01:19:29,598 --> 01:19:31,558
I got a dragon here,
and I'm not afraid to use it.
1419
01:19:33,060 --> 01:19:34,353
I'm a donkey on the edge!
1420
01:19:35,771 --> 01:19:36,814
(BELCHES)
1421
01:19:37,690 --> 01:19:38,691
(DONKEY LAUGHS)
1422
01:19:38,774 --> 01:19:41,151
Celebrity marriages.
They never last, do they?
1423
01:19:41,694 --> 01:19:43,362
(ALL CHEERING)
1424
01:19:44,446 --> 01:19:45,447
Go ahead, Shrek.
1425
01:19:46,824 --> 01:19:48,033
Uh...
1426
01:19:48,158 --> 01:19:49,159
Fiona?
1427
01:19:50,369 --> 01:19:51,370
Yes, Shrek?
1428
01:19:52,538 --> 01:19:55,958
I... I love you.
1429
01:19:57,251 --> 01:19:58,252
Really?
1430
01:20:00,212 --> 01:20:01,297
Really, really.
1431
01:20:03,465 --> 01:20:04,591
I love you, too.
1432
01:20:10,472 --> 01:20:12,099
ALL: Aawww!
1433
01:20:14,018 --> 01:20:16,645
FIONA:
"Until you find
true love's first kiss
1434
01:20:17,062 --> 01:20:18,981
"and then take
love's true form."
1435
01:20:19,064 --> 01:20:20,816
(ECHOING)
1436
01:20:40,836 --> 01:20:42,338
(SHATTERING)
1437
01:20:44,256 --> 01:20:47,176
"Take love's true form.
Take love's true form."
1438
01:20:54,058 --> 01:20:55,100
Fiona?
1439
01:20:58,479 --> 01:21:02,149
Fiona.
Are you all right?
1440
01:21:04,276 --> 01:21:05,486
Well, yes.
1441
01:21:06,362 --> 01:21:10,616
But I don't understand.
I'm supposed to be beautiful.
1442
01:21:13,952 --> 01:21:15,454
But you are beautiful.
1443
01:21:17,164 --> 01:21:18,165
(CHUCKLES)
1444
01:21:18,457 --> 01:21:20,501
I was hoping this would be
a happy ending.
1445
01:21:21,168 --> 01:21:22,419
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
1446
01:21:24,922 --> 01:21:29,259
I thought love was only true
in fairy tales
1447
01:21:29,802 --> 01:21:30,803
Oy!
1448
01:21:30,886 --> 01:21:34,473
Meant for someone else,
but not for me
1449
01:21:37,142 --> 01:21:39,228
Love was out to get me
1450
01:21:40,229 --> 01:21:42,022
That's the way it seemed
1451
01:21:42,940 --> 01:21:47,277
Disappointment haunted
all my dreams
1452
01:21:47,569 --> 01:21:49,571
And then I saw her face
1453
01:21:50,864 --> 01:21:52,574
Now I'm a believer
1454
01:21:53,951 --> 01:21:55,536
And not a trace
1455
01:21:56,703 --> 01:21:58,580
Of doubt in my mind
1456
01:22:00,082 --> 01:22:01,750
I'm in love
1457
01:22:02,876 --> 01:22:07,339
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her
if I tried
1458
01:22:08,465 --> 01:22:10,968
God bless us, every one.
1459
01:22:12,344 --> 01:22:13,345
DONKEY: Come on, y'all!
1460
01:22:13,429 --> 01:22:14,930
Then I saw her face
1461
01:22:15,973 --> 01:22:18,058
Now I'm a believer
1462
01:22:18,142 --> 01:22:19,143
Listen!
1463
01:22:19,226 --> 01:22:20,978
Not a trace
1464
01:22:22,104 --> 01:22:23,939
Of doubt in my mind
1465
01:22:25,482 --> 01:22:26,775
I'm in love
1466
01:22:28,444 --> 01:22:32,573
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her
if I tried
1467
01:22:35,576 --> 01:22:38,078
Then I saw her face
1468
01:22:38,454 --> 01:22:41,206
Now I'm a believer, hey!
1469
01:22:41,665 --> 01:22:44,084
Not a trace, yeah
1470
01:22:44,460 --> 01:22:46,336
Of doubt in my mind
1471
01:22:46,420 --> 01:22:47,421
DONKEY: One more time!
1472
01:22:47,963 --> 01:22:52,050
I'm in love, I'm a believer
1473
01:22:52,843 --> 01:22:53,927
DONKEY: Come on!
1474
01:22:54,303 --> 01:22:55,721
I believe, I believe,
I believe, I believe
1475
01:22:55,804 --> 01:22:58,724
I believe, I believe
I believe, I believe,
I believe, hey
1476
01:22:59,308 --> 01:23:00,350
Y'all sing it with me!
1477
01:23:00,434 --> 01:23:03,145
I believe
I'm a believer
1478
01:23:03,228 --> 01:23:05,314
I believe
I'm a believer
1479
01:23:05,397 --> 01:23:06,398
People in the back!
1480
01:23:06,482 --> 01:23:09,193
I believe
I'm a believer
1481
01:23:09,276 --> 01:23:11,361
I believe
1482
01:23:12,321 --> 01:23:17,409
I believe, I believe
1483
01:23:19,786 --> 01:23:20,913
(LAUGHING)
1484
01:23:22,164 --> 01:23:23,290
Oh, that's funny.
1485
01:23:23,373 --> 01:23:24,416
Oh, oh!
1486
01:23:24,875 --> 01:23:26,502
I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.
1487
01:23:28,128 --> 01:23:30,255
I believe in self-assertion
1488
01:23:30,339 --> 01:23:32,508
Destiny or a slight
diversion
1489
01:23:32,591 --> 01:23:36,512
Now it seems I've got my
head on straight
1490
01:23:37,012 --> 01:23:39,139
I'm a freak, an apparition
1491
01:23:39,223 --> 01:23:41,391
Seems I've made
the right decision
1492
01:23:41,475 --> 01:23:45,020
To try to turn back now
it might be too late
1493
01:23:45,103 --> 01:23:48,148
I want to stay home today
1494
01:23:48,232 --> 01:23:49,525
Don't wanna go out
1495
01:23:49,608 --> 01:23:52,611
If anyone comes to play
1496
01:23:52,694 --> 01:23:53,904
Gonna get thrown out
1497
01:23:54,112 --> 01:23:56,740
I wanna stay home today
1498
01:23:56,823 --> 01:23:58,408
Don't want no company
1499
01:23:58,492 --> 01:24:00,118
No way
1500
01:24:00,994 --> 01:24:02,788
Yeah, yeah, yeah
1501
01:24:03,789 --> 01:24:05,874
I wanna be a millionaire
someday
1502
01:24:05,958 --> 01:24:08,168
But know what it feels like
to give it away
1503
01:24:08,293 --> 01:24:11,797
Watch me march to the beat
of my own drum
1504
01:24:11,880 --> 01:24:14,216
And it's off to the moon
and then back again
1505
01:24:14,424 --> 01:24:16,468
Same old day, same situation
1506
01:24:16,593 --> 01:24:20,764
My happiness rears back
as if to say
1507
01:24:20,847 --> 01:24:23,850
I wanna stay home today
1508
01:24:23,934 --> 01:24:25,269
Don't wanna go out
1509
01:24:25,352 --> 01:24:28,355
If anyone comes my way
1510
01:24:28,438 --> 01:24:29,690
Gonna get thrown out
1511
01:24:29,773 --> 01:24:32,526
I wanna stay home today
1512
01:24:32,609 --> 01:24:34,111
Don't want no company
1513
01:24:34,194 --> 01:24:36,071
No way
1514
01:24:36,738 --> 01:24:38,615
Yeah, yeah, yeah
1515
01:24:43,245 --> 01:24:47,374
I wanna stay home,
stay home, stay home
1516
01:24:48,750 --> 01:24:51,753
I wanna stay home today
1517
01:24:51,837 --> 01:24:53,088
Don't wanna go out
1518
01:24:53,297 --> 01:24:56,216
If anyone comes to play
1519
01:24:56,300 --> 01:24:57,593
Gonna get thrown out
1520
01:24:57,718 --> 01:25:00,345
I wanna stay home today
1521
01:25:00,429 --> 01:25:03,515
Don't want no company,
no way
1522
01:25:04,683 --> 01:25:06,560
Yeah, yeah, yeah
1523
01:25:13,692 --> 01:25:15,944
(BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES
PLAYING)
1524
01:25:21,408 --> 01:25:25,329
I get such a thrill
when you look in my eyes
1525
01:25:25,454 --> 01:25:29,291
My heart skips a beat
girl, I feel so alive
1526
01:25:29,791 --> 01:25:33,295
Please, tell me, baby,
if all this is true
1527
01:25:33,462 --> 01:25:37,299
‘Cause deep down inside
all I wanted was you
1528
01:25:39,676 --> 01:25:41,386
Makes me wanna dance
1529
01:25:43,639 --> 01:25:45,182
It's a new romance
1530
01:25:47,559 --> 01:25:49,227
I look into your eyes
1531
01:25:51,647 --> 01:25:53,273
The best years of our lives
1532
01:25:53,732 --> 01:25:57,277
When we first met,
I could hardly believe
1533
01:25:57,444 --> 01:26:01,365
The things that would happen
and we could achieve
1534
01:26:01,448 --> 01:26:05,327
So let's be together
for all of our time
1535
01:26:05,702 --> 01:26:09,247
Girl, I'm so thankful
that you are still mine
1536
01:26:09,373 --> 01:26:11,249
See, you always consider me
like an ugly duckling
1537
01:26:11,333 --> 01:26:13,960
And treat me like a
Nostradamus was why I
had to get my shine on
1538
01:26:14,044 --> 01:26:16,004
I break a little something
to keep my mind on
1539
01:26:16,088 --> 01:26:17,422
‘Cause you had my mind gone
1540
01:26:18,548 --> 01:26:20,050
Turn the lights on,
come on, baby
1541
01:26:20,133 --> 01:26:21,385
Let's just rewind the song
1542
01:26:21,551 --> 01:26:23,720
‘Cause all I want to do
is make the rest years
the best years
1543
01:26:23,804 --> 01:26:25,263
All night long
1544
01:26:27,683 --> 01:26:29,893
Makes me wanna dance
Makes me wanna dance
1545
01:26:31,645 --> 01:26:33,939
It's a new romance
It's a new romance
1546
01:26:35,440 --> 01:26:38,026
I look into your eyes
Look into your eyes
1547
01:26:39,653 --> 01:26:42,322
The best years of our lives
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
1548
01:26:43,573 --> 01:26:45,659
Makes me wanna dance
Dance, yeah
1549
01:26:47,577 --> 01:26:49,162
It's a new romance
1550
01:26:50,664 --> 01:26:53,750
Look into your eyes, yeah
I look into your eyes
1551
01:26:55,627 --> 01:26:57,421
The best years of our lives
1552
01:26:57,546 --> 01:26:58,630
(LIKE WOW PLAYING)
1553
01:26:58,714 --> 01:27:00,465
Everything looks bright
1554
01:27:01,341 --> 01:27:03,385
Standing in your light
1555
01:27:03,552 --> 01:27:05,429
Everything feels right
1556
01:27:06,138 --> 01:27:09,224
What's left is out of sight
1557
01:27:09,307 --> 01:27:13,478
What's a girl to do?
I'm feeling you,
you're on my mind
1558
01:27:13,937 --> 01:27:15,605
I wanna be with you
1559
01:27:16,606 --> 01:27:19,025
‘Cause when you're
standin' next to me
1560
01:27:19,151 --> 01:27:20,694
It's like wow
1561
01:27:20,902 --> 01:27:24,239
And all your kisses
seem to set me free
1562
01:27:24,322 --> 01:27:25,866
It's like wow
1563
01:27:25,991 --> 01:27:29,494
And when we touch,
it's such a rush
I can't get enough
1564
01:27:29,578 --> 01:27:30,871
It's like, it's like
1565
01:27:32,289 --> 01:27:34,499
Hey, what?
1566
01:27:34,791 --> 01:27:36,418
It's like wow
1567
01:27:37,627 --> 01:27:40,046
Hey, what?
Hey, yeah
1568
01:27:40,130 --> 01:27:41,673
It's like wow
1569
01:27:41,757 --> 01:27:45,427
Everything is looking right
now, right now
1570
01:27:45,510 --> 01:27:46,678
It's like wow
1571
01:27:46,762 --> 01:27:51,850
And I got this feeling,
this feeling it's just
like wow
1572
01:27:51,933 --> 01:27:53,518
It's just like wow
1573
01:27:53,602 --> 01:27:55,771
You are all I'm thinking of
Like wow
1574
01:27:55,854 --> 01:28:00,108
Everything feels right
Everything feels right
1575
01:28:00,192 --> 01:28:02,736
Like wow
Everything looks bright
1576
01:28:02,819 --> 01:28:04,488
All my senses are right
1577
01:28:05,489 --> 01:28:07,908
Like wow
Everything feels right
1578
01:28:07,991 --> 01:28:11,745
Baby, baby, baby, the way
I'm feeling you
1579
01:28:13,789 --> 01:28:16,291
(ITISYOUIHAVE LOVED
PLAYING)
1580
01:28:34,184 --> 01:28:37,312
There is something
that I see
1581
01:28:37,771 --> 01:28:40,899
In the way you look at me
1582
01:28:41,233 --> 01:28:43,985
There's a smile,
there's a truth
1583
01:28:44,736 --> 01:28:47,656
In your eyes
1584
01:28:48,156 --> 01:28:51,159
What an unexpected way
1585
01:28:51,743 --> 01:28:54,955
On this unexpected day
1586
01:28:55,038 --> 01:28:56,790
Could it be
1587
01:28:56,873 --> 01:29:01,253
This is where I belong?
1588
01:29:02,003 --> 01:29:05,298
It is you I have loved
1589
01:29:05,507 --> 01:29:07,843
All along
1590
01:29:08,718 --> 01:29:12,138
There's no more mystery
1591
01:29:12,472 --> 01:29:15,517
It is finally clear to me
1592
01:29:15,851 --> 01:29:19,312
You're the home my heart's
searched for
1593
01:29:19,813 --> 01:29:22,607
So long
1594
01:29:22,691 --> 01:29:26,152
And it is you I have loved
1595
01:29:26,403 --> 01:29:29,531
All along
1596
01:29:57,767 --> 01:30:01,396
Over and over
1597
01:30:01,521 --> 01:30:04,858
I'm filled with emotion
1598
01:30:05,233 --> 01:30:07,694
As I look
1599
01:30:08,403 --> 01:30:12,741
Into your perfect face
116628
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