Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:00,826 --> 00:01:02,328
Are you going to get that?
2
00:01:10,335 --> 00:01:11,336
What?
3
00:01:17,342 --> 00:01:18,343
When?
4
00:01:23,347 --> 00:01:24,848
Yeah, I'll be there.
5
00:01:33,356 --> 00:01:34,357
Everything okay?
6
00:01:36,359 --> 00:01:37,860
Yeah, somebody died.
7
00:01:39,862 --> 00:01:42,365
Oh my... oh my God!
8
00:01:42,365 --> 00:01:43,365
I'm really sorry.
9
00:01:43,365 --> 00:01:45,367
Maybe we should go.
10
00:01:45,867 --> 00:01:47,369
Yeah.
11
00:01:47,369 --> 00:01:48,370
Who told you to stop?
12
00:02:02,883 --> 00:02:05,386
Okay. Who would you sleep with?
13
00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:07,387
- The professor or Gilligan?
- Easy.
14
00:02:07,387 --> 00:02:09,389
Professor. He had that deep voice,
15
00:02:09,389 --> 00:02:10,890
those perfectly pressed shirts.
16
00:02:10,890 --> 00:02:13,393
Yeah, how do you suppose he found
a good cleaner on that island?
17
00:02:13,393 --> 00:02:15,395
I can't find one in Pittsburgh.
18
00:02:15,895 --> 00:02:17,397
Fred Flintstone, Barney Rubble?
19
00:02:17,397 --> 00:02:19,398
Mmm, we're talking a relationship or just sex?
20
00:02:19,398 --> 00:02:20,899
Hmm, one night only.
21
00:02:20,899 --> 00:02:22,401
I have to go with Fred.
22
00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:23,902
He's a total bear.
23
00:02:23,902 --> 00:02:25,404
Yeah.
24
00:02:25,404 --> 00:02:27,906
- Okay. Mr. Roper or Mr. Furley?
- Oh!
25
00:02:28,407 --> 00:02:30,408
Mmmm. Tough one.
26
00:02:30,408 --> 00:02:31,909
I'm going to go with Roper
27
00:02:31,909 --> 00:02:33,911
but only because I have an aversion
to loud colours
28
00:02:33,911 --> 00:02:35,913
on anyone except me.
29
00:02:36,414 --> 00:02:36,914
I need coffee.
30
00:02:38,416 --> 00:02:39,417
Oh, someone was up
31
00:02:39,417 --> 00:02:40,918
fucking until the wee hours.
32
00:02:40,918 --> 00:02:41,918
Was he cuter than me?
33
00:02:44,421 --> 00:02:45,922
What are you doing here?
34
00:02:45,922 --> 00:02:49,426
Oh, I picked up an extra shift
before first period.
35
00:02:49,426 --> 00:02:50,927
I'm saving up to go to the White Party.
36
00:02:52,429 --> 00:02:54,930
My, my, aren't you two raising him well?
37
00:02:54,930 --> 00:02:57,433
Oh hey, uh, anyone want to go see that
new Matt Damon movie tomorrow?
38
00:02:57,933 --> 00:02:59,935
I was, uh, reading in a chat room last night
that there's a dick shot in it.
39
00:02:59,935 --> 00:03:01,437
It's brief, but nonetheless...
40
00:03:01,437 --> 00:03:02,938
Dick!
41
00:03:02,938 --> 00:03:04,440
Yeah. Totally.
42
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:05,940
Yeah. I'm there. What about you?
43
00:03:08,943 --> 00:03:10,945
I can't. I have family stuff.
44
00:03:10,945 --> 00:03:13,948
Why? Your sister fighting with her
ex-husband again?
45
00:03:15,450 --> 00:03:16,451
My dad died.
46
00:03:20,954 --> 00:03:21,955
Your dad?
47
00:03:23,457 --> 00:03:24,458
When?
48
00:03:24,458 --> 00:03:25,459
Yesterday.
49
00:03:27,461 --> 00:03:28,462
I'm really sorry.
50
00:03:28,462 --> 00:03:29,962
Well, he was sick. It was time.
51
00:03:31,964 --> 00:03:32,965
Yeah, but he's your dad.
52
00:03:32,965 --> 00:03:34,467
I said I'm fine.
53
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,995
If my dad died, I don't know what I'd do.
54
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,497
Me either.
55
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:10,500
- How old was he?
- 60.
56
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,503
- Ancient.
- 60's not ancient.
57
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:16,005
They say kids who are born today are
going to live to be past 100.
58
00:04:18,006 --> 00:04:20,509
Hey, can you imagine having sex
when you're 100?
59
00:04:21,009 --> 00:04:23,512
No. I can't imagine doing it now.
60
00:04:23,512 --> 00:04:25,013
Check out Kevin Chase.
61
00:04:25,013 --> 00:04:27,015
- What do you think?
- Total hottie.
62
00:04:27,015 --> 00:04:28,517
And he's got a huge dick.
63
00:04:28,517 --> 00:04:31,519
- How do you know?
- Gym class does have its perks.
64
00:04:32,019 --> 00:04:33,020
What about Craig Matthews?
65
00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:34,522
He's got acne.
66
00:04:34,522 --> 00:04:36,023
Yeah. But a hot ass.
67
00:04:37,525 --> 00:04:39,026
What about...
68
00:04:39,026 --> 00:04:40,528
Glen Reeves?
69
00:04:40,528 --> 00:04:41,528
He's okay.
70
00:04:41,528 --> 00:04:44,030
Just okay?
71
00:04:44,030 --> 00:04:47,033
Actually he's... he's kind of adorable.
72
00:04:47,033 --> 00:04:49,035
Yeah, he's totally adorable.
73
00:04:49,035 --> 00:04:51,538
And you know, I've always gotten
this closeted-homo vibe from him.
74
00:04:51,538 --> 00:04:53,038
I bet with enough beers and the right music,
75
00:04:53,038 --> 00:04:54,540
- we'd totally be doing it.
- No way.
76
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:56,041
Hey, you.
77
00:04:56,041 --> 00:04:57,042
Hey, Glen!
78
00:04:57,042 --> 00:04:58,043
How'd I do?
79
00:04:58,043 --> 00:05:00,546
You looked great out there.
80
00:05:00,546 --> 00:05:03,048
- What's going on?
- Gotcha!
81
00:05:03,048 --> 00:05:05,049
- You two know each other, right?
- Sure. Hi.
82
00:05:05,049 --> 00:05:06,551
- How's it going?
- Okay.
83
00:05:06,551 --> 00:05:08,553
Oh, want to come to my place tonight
and study?
84
00:05:08,553 --> 00:05:10,555
Uh, actually I was supposed to study at Justin's.
85
00:05:10,555 --> 00:05:12,056
But if it's cool,
86
00:05:12,056 --> 00:05:13,558
could I take a rain check?
87
00:05:13,558 --> 00:05:15,560
Sure. Um...
88
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:17,060
I'm going to be late for class.
89
00:05:47,088 --> 00:05:49,090
Fuck! It's a hot crowd in here tonight.
90
00:05:49,090 --> 00:05:51,092
Brian, you shouldn't be here.
91
00:05:51,593 --> 00:05:53,093
Yeah. Where should I be?
92
00:05:53,093 --> 00:05:56,096
At your mom's?
Planning your dad's funeral?
93
00:05:56,597 --> 00:05:58,098
He's practically buried.
94
00:05:58,098 --> 00:06:00,601
Well, it's reassuring to know that
neither rain nor snow
95
00:06:00,601 --> 00:06:02,603
can keep you from your appointed rounds.
96
00:06:02,603 --> 00:06:04,604
Consistency's a rare virtue.
97
00:06:04,604 --> 00:06:06,105
Especially in these uncertain times.
98
00:06:06,105 --> 00:06:08,107
Look, if you need anything...
99
00:06:08,107 --> 00:06:09,609
- Like running errands...
- Making calls...
100
00:06:09,609 --> 00:06:11,110
It's taken care of.
101
00:06:57,152 --> 00:06:58,654
What are you doing?
102
00:07:00,155 --> 00:07:02,658
I'm looking for a fourth for bridge.
103
00:07:02,658 --> 00:07:05,660
How can you even think about sex right now?
104
00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:08,162
Ah, death gives you a real hard-on.
105
00:07:08,663 --> 00:07:10,665
Look, let me take you home.
106
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:12,667
Jesus, Brian, your dad just died!
107
00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:14,669
How can you think about getting
your dick sucked?
108
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,171
This is my grief counsellor.
109
00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,690
Is he actually your boyfriend now or something?
110
00:07:38,190 --> 00:07:40,692
- I guess.
- Thanks for telling me.
111
00:07:40,692 --> 00:07:43,695
You've been fucking some 29-year-old
guy the whole year.
112
00:07:43,695 --> 00:07:46,197
Why can't I see someone too?
113
00:07:46,197 --> 00:07:49,200
- So how long have you guys been...?
- Oh, about a month.
114
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,201
One day after English class we started talking
115
00:07:51,201 --> 00:07:53,704
about "Sister Carrie" and how awesome
and tragic it is.
116
00:07:54,204 --> 00:07:56,206
Before I knew it, we were instant messaging each other
117
00:07:56,206 --> 00:07:58,208
practically every night.
118
00:07:58,208 --> 00:07:59,710
Oh.
119
00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:02,212
Well, we're still best friends, right?
120
00:08:02,212 --> 00:08:04,714
- I guess.
- Well, aren't we?
121
00:08:04,714 --> 00:08:06,215
Yeah.
122
00:08:08,718 --> 00:08:10,219
Have you guys done the nasty yet?
123
00:08:10,219 --> 00:08:11,721
None of your business.
124
00:08:11,721 --> 00:08:13,222
Oh, come on. I tell you everything.
125
00:08:13,222 --> 00:08:15,223
Well, we fooled around some.
126
00:08:15,223 --> 00:08:17,225
He wants to do more, and so do I...
127
00:08:17,225 --> 00:08:18,727
I think.
128
00:08:18,727 --> 00:08:20,729
Only he's a lot more experienced than I am,
129
00:08:20,729 --> 00:08:22,230
and I do not want to come off
as a total freak
130
00:08:22,230 --> 00:08:24,232
- who doesn't have a clue.
- So practice first.
131
00:08:25,734 --> 00:08:28,736
Nah. I've heard horror stories about
the first time.
132
00:08:28,736 --> 00:08:30,237
I mean, if... if the guy isn't careful,
133
00:08:30,738 --> 00:08:31,739
it can be really painful.
134
00:08:31,739 --> 00:08:33,240
Yeah. I was lucky.
135
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,242
Brian went real slow.
136
00:08:35,743 --> 00:08:37,244
Yeah, well that's why I want my first time
137
00:08:37,244 --> 00:08:38,745
to be with someone who...
138
00:08:38,745 --> 00:08:40,246
knows what it feels like.
139
00:08:42,248 --> 00:08:43,249
Like you.
140
00:08:50,256 --> 00:08:52,257
She wants you to fuck her?
141
00:08:52,257 --> 00:08:53,759
Gay men and straight girls sleeping together.
142
00:08:53,759 --> 00:08:55,761
Isn't that one of the signs of the apocalypse?
143
00:08:55,761 --> 00:08:57,763
Have you ever been with a woman?
144
00:08:58,263 --> 00:08:59,765
Lots of times. When I was 14,
145
00:08:59,765 --> 00:09:01,767
I had sex with, uh, four girls at summer camp.
146
00:09:02,266 --> 00:09:04,268
When I was 15, I had an affair
with my mom's best friend.
147
00:09:04,268 --> 00:09:05,770
And when I was 16,
148
00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:08,272
I made it with Mrs. Elstead,
my geometry teacher.
149
00:09:11,776 --> 00:09:13,277
No. No!
150
00:09:13,277 --> 00:09:14,778
You asshole.
151
00:09:14,778 --> 00:09:17,781
Well then, hon, um... how do you know you can?
152
00:09:17,781 --> 00:09:20,283
Because at his age he could rub up
against a tree and get a hard-on.
153
00:09:20,283 --> 00:09:22,285
Having recently made love
154
00:09:22,285 --> 00:09:23,787
to a woman, I, um...
155
00:09:23,787 --> 00:09:25,789
I can give you a few pointers.
156
00:09:25,789 --> 00:09:27,790
Banging a bull dyke for Jesus isn't exactly making love.
157
00:09:28,290 --> 00:09:29,792
I've sort of been with a woman.
158
00:09:29,792 --> 00:09:32,294
- You have?
- Tenth grade.
159
00:09:32,294 --> 00:09:33,995
Marsha Grundig gave me a blow job.
160
00:09:35,297 --> 00:09:37,299
Well, she didn't give it to me.
She charged me five bucks.
161
00:09:37,299 --> 00:09:39,801
She charged everybody five bucks.
162
00:09:39,801 --> 00:09:42,303
That's a... that's a touching memory.
163
00:09:42,303 --> 00:09:43,805
I know I'll be doing Daphne a favour,
164
00:09:43,805 --> 00:09:45,306
but I still feel kind of weird about it.
165
00:09:45,306 --> 00:09:47,308
I think it's a real compliment she
asked you to do this.
166
00:09:47,308 --> 00:09:50,310
Yeah, it means she really trusts you.
167
00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:51,812
Go to her, Justin.
168
00:09:51,812 --> 00:09:54,815
Teach her what it is to be a real woman.
169
00:09:55,315 --> 00:09:56,316
Like somebody taught you.
170
00:09:57,818 --> 00:09:59,820
Be careful.
171
00:09:59,820 --> 00:10:00,821
Oh, shit!
172
00:10:02,321 --> 00:10:03,823
Well, you were...
173
00:10:03,823 --> 00:10:05,324
bound to run into him eventually.
174
00:10:05,324 --> 00:10:06,826
Why did eventually have to be tonight?
175
00:10:08,828 --> 00:10:09,829
What do I say?
176
00:10:10,329 --> 00:10:11,831
Why say anything? Just ignore him.
177
00:10:11,831 --> 00:10:13,332
I should go apologize.
178
00:10:13,332 --> 00:10:15,834
No, you should stay and answer me this:
179
00:10:15,834 --> 00:10:17,335
Lenny or, uh, Squiggy?
180
00:10:30,848 --> 00:10:32,349
Hey, Blake, um...
181
00:10:35,352 --> 00:10:38,354
look, I already told you I don't
have your money.
182
00:10:38,354 --> 00:10:40,356
That's not why I wanted to talk with you.
183
00:10:42,358 --> 00:10:43,860
Look, I found my wallet.
184
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:45,361
It was in Emmett's couch.
185
00:10:46,362 --> 00:10:47,864
Congratulations.
186
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:49,865
You have no idea how horrible...
187
00:10:49,865 --> 00:10:52,367
uh, really horrible I feel.
188
00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:57,372
Look, I know you're going through a
tough time...
189
00:10:57,372 --> 00:10:59,374
right now, and i realize that after what i did,
190
00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:01,675
you've got no reason to believe me, but...
191
00:11:03,677 --> 00:11:05,379
if you need anything...
192
00:11:07,381 --> 00:11:09,383
well, a sympathetic ear or...
193
00:11:11,385 --> 00:11:13,386
a shoulder to cry on or...
194
00:11:13,386 --> 00:11:14,888
an objective eye...
195
00:11:17,390 --> 00:11:19,892
How about throwing in an arm and a leg?
196
00:11:22,395 --> 00:11:24,397
Well, that too...
197
00:11:25,898 --> 00:11:26,899
If you want 'em.
198
00:11:32,404 --> 00:11:33,405
All right.
199
00:11:53,924 --> 00:11:55,425
Yeah, this is the one he should be buried in.
200
00:11:56,927 --> 00:11:58,929
Worn out and dreary, just like him.
201
00:11:58,929 --> 00:12:01,931
Well, do you think you should run it
by your sister first?
202
00:12:01,931 --> 00:12:04,433
Hmm, she'd probably see this ugly, old suit
203
00:12:04,934 --> 00:12:06,435
and start crying again.
204
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,437
Well at least she's expressing how she feels.
205
00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:09,939
She's milking it for attention.
206
00:12:09,939 --> 00:12:12,440
- Don't be cynical.
- Claire is a cunt.
207
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,443
Dad couldn't even stand her.
Her husband couldn't stand her.
208
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,445
Her fucking kids... can't stand her.
209
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:20,949
So while she's busy being a basket case,
210
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:22,450
I'm stuck doing everything else.
211
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,952
The funeral home, the cemetery...
212
00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:26,453
the obituary.
213
00:12:26,453 --> 00:12:27,955
- Well, I said I would help.
- You want to help?
214
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,456
See if you can find a tie
215
00:12:29,456 --> 00:12:31,959
that's not too offensive, if that's possible.
216
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:33,961
- Brian.
- What?
217
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:35,462
Packets or sugar cubes?
218
00:12:36,963 --> 00:12:38,464
We're going to have a house full of guests.
219
00:12:38,464 --> 00:12:39,966
I don't know what people prefer.
220
00:12:39,966 --> 00:12:42,468
I'm sure no one gives a shit.
221
00:12:42,969 --> 00:12:45,471
Um... my mom says that people
222
00:12:45,471 --> 00:12:47,473
at the diner prefer packets three to one
223
00:12:47,473 --> 00:12:49,975
because the... the... the cubes are
individually wrapped,
224
00:12:49,975 --> 00:12:51,476
and they fall on the floor and people step...
225
00:12:51,476 --> 00:12:52,477
Howw is your mother, Michael?
226
00:12:53,979 --> 00:12:55,981
She's fine, Mrs. Kinney, thank you.
227
00:12:56,982 --> 00:12:59,484
She was always such a... character.
228
00:12:59,484 --> 00:13:01,485
Please remember to thank her for the...
229
00:13:01,485 --> 00:13:03,487
um, sandwich platter.
230
00:13:03,487 --> 00:13:04,989
Ah, I will. And, uh...
231
00:13:04,989 --> 00:13:06,490
I have to say I'm sorry
232
00:13:06,490 --> 00:13:08,492
- for your loss.
- Thank you, Michael.
233
00:13:08,993 --> 00:13:11,495
Uh, Brian, if you see anything you want,
234
00:13:11,495 --> 00:13:13,496
just please take it.
I've called the Goodwill
235
00:13:13,496 --> 00:13:15,999
- and they're coming tomorrow.
- That was quick.
236
00:13:15,999 --> 00:13:18,501
Well, I don't like seeing things lying around,
you know that.
237
00:13:22,505 --> 00:13:25,007
Your father spent more weekends with that than he did with me.
238
00:13:29,511 --> 00:13:32,514
Packets. Good. Well, that's decided.
239
00:13:40,521 --> 00:13:42,023
I forgot what it was like at your house.
240
00:13:43,524 --> 00:13:45,526
Yeah, that's why I was always over at yours.
241
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:02,041
A guy threw up on my bed.
242
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,543
- What?
- The place where I'm staying.
243
00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:08,547
I... went back there tonight and
some tweakedout asshole...
244
00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:09,548
barfed on my bed.
245
00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:10,549
How horrible.
246
00:14:12,050 --> 00:14:13,551
I can't stay there any more. I...
247
00:14:13,551 --> 00:14:15,053
- I just can't.
- I don't blame you.
248
00:14:17,055 --> 00:14:20,058
Then I thought of what you said, um...
249
00:14:20,058 --> 00:14:22,060
that I could count on you for anything.
250
00:14:22,060 --> 00:14:23,061
So you came here?
251
00:14:24,061 --> 00:14:26,063
I didn't know where else to go.
252
00:14:26,563 --> 00:14:27,064
I'm glad you did.
253
00:14:28,565 --> 00:14:30,567
Well, come in.
254
00:14:33,570 --> 00:14:35,571
- You sure?
- Sure I'm sure.
255
00:14:38,074 --> 00:14:40,576
You're welcome to stay here tonight, or...
256
00:14:40,576 --> 00:14:41,577
a couple of nights.
257
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:46,082
Did you bring your stuff?
258
00:14:46,582 --> 00:14:49,084
Well, it's always good to travel light.
259
00:14:51,086 --> 00:14:52,087
Come on.
260
00:14:54,089 --> 00:14:56,091
I just want you to know, I'm clean. I swear.
261
00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:57,092
I believe you.
262
00:15:00,594 --> 00:15:01,595
Thanks.
263
00:15:16,609 --> 00:15:17,610
Um...
264
00:15:18,611 --> 00:15:19,612
look...
265
00:15:20,113 --> 00:15:21,614
Uh... uh...
266
00:15:23,115 --> 00:15:24,116
let's, uh...
267
00:15:25,617 --> 00:15:29,121
Let's not... rush into this, okay?
268
00:15:29,121 --> 00:15:32,624
I mean, we both need time to, uh...
269
00:15:32,624 --> 00:15:34,625
comprehend and to, uh...
270
00:15:34,625 --> 00:15:38,129
process how we feel. Hmm?
271
00:15:41,632 --> 00:15:44,635
That said, I think it would be...
272
00:15:44,635 --> 00:15:47,637
more... appropriate, not to mention...
273
00:15:48,138 --> 00:15:52,642
responsible... for both of us to, uh...
274
00:15:52,642 --> 00:15:53,643
oh, fuck it!
275
00:16:04,153 --> 00:16:07,156
Let us remember that we are dust,
276
00:16:07,156 --> 00:16:09,158
and we will return to dust.
277
00:16:10,658 --> 00:16:14,662
Almighty God, through the death of
your son on the cross,
278
00:16:14,662 --> 00:16:17,665
You have overcome death for us.
279
00:16:17,665 --> 00:16:20,668
Through His burial and resurrection
from the dead,
280
00:16:21,169 --> 00:16:23,670
You have made the grave a holy place,
281
00:16:23,670 --> 00:16:26,173
and restored to us eternal life.
282
00:16:29,176 --> 00:16:32,179
We pray for those who died believing in Jesus,
283
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,181
and are buried with Him
284
00:16:35,681 --> 00:16:37,183
in the hope of rising again.
285
00:16:40,186 --> 00:16:42,688
God of the living and the dead,
286
00:16:42,688 --> 00:16:46,191
may those who faithfully believed
in You on Earth,
287
00:16:46,191 --> 00:16:48,693
praise You forever in the joy of heaven.
288
00:16:51,196 --> 00:16:54,699
We ask this in the name of Jesus the Lord...
289
00:16:56,701 --> 00:16:58,202
Amen.
290
00:16:58,202 --> 00:17:00,204
Amen.
291
00:17:01,705 --> 00:17:06,210
Through the mercy of God,
may Jack and all the faithful departed,
292
00:17:06,210 --> 00:17:07,211
Rest in the peace of Christ.
293
00:17:09,712 --> 00:17:10,713
Amen.
294
00:17:14,717 --> 00:17:16,719
In the hope of the resurrection,
295
00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:20,723
let us leave our brother Jack Kinney
to rest in peace.
296
00:17:22,224 --> 00:17:25,727
In the name of the Father and of the Son
297
00:17:25,727 --> 00:17:27,229
and of the Holy Spirit...
298
00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:29,731
Amen.
299
00:17:43,744 --> 00:17:46,246
Claire, would you pull yourself together, please?
300
00:17:46,246 --> 00:17:49,249
Daddy died, mother.
I am allowed to fall apart.
301
00:17:49,249 --> 00:17:50,750
Fine then, fall apart.
302
00:17:51,751 --> 00:17:53,253
- Would you like a sandwich?
- Can we leave?
303
00:17:53,753 --> 00:17:54,754
Shhh!
304
00:17:54,754 --> 00:17:57,256
We've been here for months. Years.
305
00:17:57,756 --> 00:17:59,758
Do you have to be so fucking loud
for Christ sake?
306
00:18:00,259 --> 00:18:01,760
Sorry, Father.
307
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,263
We have to stay for Brian.
308
00:18:04,263 --> 00:18:05,264
He hasn't said a word.
309
00:18:05,264 --> 00:18:07,266
Or even cried.
310
00:18:07,266 --> 00:18:09,267
Well, Claire's doing a bang-up job
for everybody.
311
00:18:15,273 --> 00:18:17,775
What's in the bag, Uncle Bri?
312
00:18:17,775 --> 00:18:19,777
Grandpa's head.
313
00:18:19,777 --> 00:18:20,778
Do you want to see it?
314
00:18:26,783 --> 00:18:28,285
We better go.
315
00:18:28,285 --> 00:18:29,286
We have to pick up Gus.
316
00:18:30,787 --> 00:18:32,788
And I, uh, have somebody staying with me,
317
00:18:32,788 --> 00:18:33,789
- so I should...
- You do?
318
00:18:35,791 --> 00:18:37,293
You don't.
319
00:18:37,293 --> 00:18:39,295
Oh, excuse me, everyone.
320
00:18:39,295 --> 00:18:42,298
Um, I thought it would be nice...
321
00:18:42,298 --> 00:18:44,799
if we all shared some memories of daddy.
322
00:18:47,802 --> 00:18:49,804
Uh, Father, would you start?
323
00:18:50,805 --> 00:18:53,308
I must confess I didn't know him well.
324
00:18:56,311 --> 00:18:58,312
He never came to mass.
325
00:18:58,812 --> 00:19:01,315
Uh... um...
326
00:19:01,315 --> 00:19:02,316
anyone else?
327
00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:14,327
It... it was a while ago.
328
00:19:15,828 --> 00:19:16,829
Brian and I were in college.
329
00:19:18,831 --> 00:19:21,833
He... he told me once I smelled nice.
330
00:19:23,335 --> 00:19:24,336
Oh, and then he gave me a mint.
331
00:19:36,847 --> 00:19:38,349
Uh, I remember...
332
00:19:38,349 --> 00:19:41,352
um, this is just after I'd met Brian,
333
00:19:41,352 --> 00:19:43,854
Mr. Kinney took us bowling.
334
00:19:43,854 --> 00:19:46,856
Um, and I'm a terrible bowler.
335
00:19:46,856 --> 00:19:48,858
So is Brian.
336
00:19:48,858 --> 00:19:51,861
I think our score was, like, nine after seven frames.
337
00:19:52,862 --> 00:19:56,865
And, uh, then a miracle happened.
338
00:19:56,865 --> 00:20:00,869
Brian rolled the ball and it was headed towards the gutter like all the rest,
339
00:20:00,869 --> 00:20:03,872
but then suddenly it changed direction.
340
00:20:04,873 --> 00:20:06,875
And there was a strike.
341
00:20:06,875 --> 00:20:09,377
And we were so excited and
we were jumping up and down
342
00:20:09,377 --> 00:20:12,880
that we didn't realize that Mr. Kinney
had come back from the bar
343
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,882
and seen the whole thing.
344
00:20:14,882 --> 00:20:17,385
And he ran over to Brian and he picked him up,
345
00:20:17,385 --> 00:20:19,387
and he hugged him and he kissed him,
346
00:20:19,387 --> 00:20:22,389
and he told him how proud he was of him.
347
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:26,393
And of course, Brian got all embarrassed
and ran off.
348
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:32,897
I guess that moment meant a lot to me because I never had a father and...
349
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,403
I'll always remember that day
350
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:38,404
and that hug.
351
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:44,909
Thank you, Michael.
352
00:20:44,909 --> 00:20:46,411
That was a lovely story, Michael.
353
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:51,416
Yeah, Michael, that was lovely.
354
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:55,419
It makes me want to share some
memories of my own.
355
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,422
Something we could all treasure.
356
00:21:00,424 --> 00:21:03,927
Or the night that he found out that you were pregnant with me.
357
00:21:06,930 --> 00:21:08,931
He told mom to put on her most
beautiful dress,
358
00:21:09,432 --> 00:21:11,934
took her to the most expensive
restaurant in town,
359
00:21:11,934 --> 00:21:13,436
poured her a glass of bubbly and then...
360
00:21:13,936 --> 00:21:16,939
Get this. He leaned over...
361
00:21:16,939 --> 00:21:19,441
And he said... "Joanie...
362
00:21:22,444 --> 00:21:23,945
you're getting yourself an abortion because...
363
00:21:24,446 --> 00:21:25,447
I don't want another fucking kid."
364
00:21:29,451 --> 00:21:32,453
Claire, do you have anything you want to share?
365
00:21:45,465 --> 00:21:47,467
- Come on in.
- Thanks.
366
00:21:55,474 --> 00:21:56,975
You can put your backpack over here.
367
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,482
Do you want to listen to something?
368
00:22:03,482 --> 00:22:04,483
Daph?
369
00:22:04,483 --> 00:22:05,984
Huh?
370
00:22:05,984 --> 00:22:08,486
Oh... yeah, whatever.
371
00:22:08,486 --> 00:22:09,487
Whatever you want to hear.
372
00:22:13,491 --> 00:22:16,993
So... how long do you think this is going to take?
373
00:22:17,995 --> 00:22:20,497
Um... I dunno. Maybe an hour.
374
00:22:20,497 --> 00:22:22,999
'Cause I got to be home by 6:00.
I promised my mom and...
375
00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:24,501
my grandma's coming over for dinner so...
376
00:22:27,504 --> 00:22:30,006
- If you don't want to do this then... n
- No...
377
00:22:31,507 --> 00:22:33,008
No, I... I do.
378
00:22:41,016 --> 00:22:42,517
Do you have any condoms?
379
00:22:42,517 --> 00:22:44,519
Are you kidding?
380
00:22:45,019 --> 00:22:46,521
'Cause I brought some in case.
381
00:22:46,521 --> 00:22:50,024
And, uh, lubricant, spermicidal foam.
382
00:22:50,024 --> 00:22:51,526
You're really prepared.
383
00:22:55,028 --> 00:22:56,029
I guess we should...
384
00:22:59,533 --> 00:23:00,534
Yeah.
385
00:23:02,035 --> 00:23:03,036
I guess we should.
386
00:23:06,039 --> 00:23:08,541
In a way, this is your first time too.
387
00:23:09,041 --> 00:23:10,042
I mean, with a girl and...
388
00:23:10,543 --> 00:23:13,546
Yeah. We can...
389
00:23:13,546 --> 00:23:14,547
give it a shot together.
390
00:23:17,049 --> 00:23:18,550
Only afterwards, Daph...
391
00:23:20,051 --> 00:23:21,553
let's not get weird.
392
00:23:22,053 --> 00:23:22,554
Weird how?
393
00:23:24,556 --> 00:23:26,057
I dunno, just...
394
00:23:27,058 --> 00:23:28,059
let's just not.
395
00:23:29,561 --> 00:23:30,561
No weirdness.
396
00:24:16,604 --> 00:24:18,104
Do you feel good?
397
00:24:18,104 --> 00:24:19,606
Yeah.
398
00:24:29,615 --> 00:24:31,617
Talk about the funeral from hell.
399
00:24:31,617 --> 00:24:33,619
I will always remember
400
00:24:33,619 --> 00:24:36,622
his sister screaming, "You shit!
401
00:24:36,622 --> 00:24:38,123
You shit!"
402
00:24:38,123 --> 00:24:40,626
What about father O'What's-His-Face
403
00:24:40,626 --> 00:24:42,627
carrying his mother up to her room.
404
00:24:44,128 --> 00:24:46,631
They didn't come down for, like, an hour.
405
00:24:46,631 --> 00:24:48,633
Hmmm.
406
00:24:50,635 --> 00:24:52,136
Do you think it's really true?
407
00:24:52,136 --> 00:24:53,637
What his father said?
408
00:24:53,637 --> 00:24:56,139
Ah, you know, Brian's always trying to shock everybody.
409
00:24:56,139 --> 00:24:58,141
But somehow I believe it.
410
00:24:58,141 --> 00:25:01,144
Can you imagine growing up in that house?
411
00:25:01,144 --> 00:25:03,146
How did he ever survive?
412
00:25:03,146 --> 00:25:04,648
Who's to say he did?
413
00:25:04,648 --> 00:25:06,148
- Hey, these are kind of nice.
- Yeah.
414
00:25:06,649 --> 00:25:10,653
Yeah, they'll make a fabulous centrepiece...
415
00:25:10,653 --> 00:25:13,656
for your... romantic... dinner for two.
416
00:25:14,156 --> 00:25:16,659
I think I'll use that China my grandmother left me.
417
00:25:16,659 --> 00:25:18,660
Mmmm. Perfect.
418
00:25:18,660 --> 00:25:20,662
Perfect, and, uh, and... and the good crystal.
419
00:25:21,162 --> 00:25:23,164
I'm sure Blake will appreciate that.
420
00:25:23,665 --> 00:25:25,166
Fuck you.
421
00:25:25,166 --> 00:25:26,668
Excuse me?
422
00:25:26,668 --> 00:25:28,670
I already told you, he's not using.
423
00:25:28,670 --> 00:25:30,170
Okay, um, can I... can I have a show of hands?
424
00:25:30,170 --> 00:25:32,673
Uh, how many people think the twink
is no longer tweaking?
425
00:25:36,176 --> 00:25:39,179
- No one.
- Yeah, well you're all wrong.
426
00:25:39,179 --> 00:25:41,180
No, Teddy, you are.
427
00:25:41,180 --> 00:25:43,182
- Believe me, I know.
- You don't know.
428
00:25:45,685 --> 00:25:48,187
- You're just jealous.
- Jealous?
429
00:25:48,187 --> 00:25:50,690
Jealous that I've actually found
somebody who cares about me
430
00:25:50,690 --> 00:25:52,691
and wants to be with me.
431
00:25:52,691 --> 00:25:55,193
He's using you, Teddy.
432
00:25:55,193 --> 00:25:58,697
- That's what users do.
- That's not true.
433
00:25:58,697 --> 00:26:00,699
And you just don't want me to have something
434
00:26:00,699 --> 00:26:01,700
because you don't have it.
435
00:26:04,202 --> 00:26:06,203
You're like every other fag in the world.
436
00:26:20,717 --> 00:26:22,719
You should apologize.
437
00:26:23,219 --> 00:26:24,220
Ah! For what?
438
00:26:24,220 --> 00:26:27,223
You know damn well. He was your dad.
439
00:26:27,223 --> 00:26:28,223
Even though he wasn't always nice to you,
440
00:26:28,724 --> 00:26:30,726
when you die, you deserve a little respect.
441
00:26:30,726 --> 00:26:32,728
Bullshit.
442
00:26:32,728 --> 00:26:34,229
If you don't earn respect when you're alive,
443
00:26:34,229 --> 00:26:36,732
you don't deserve it when you're dead.
444
00:26:36,732 --> 00:26:39,234
Anyway, you were very... respectful.
445
00:26:39,234 --> 00:26:41,235
Everyone was very... touched
446
00:26:41,235 --> 00:26:42,737
by your little... memory.
447
00:26:44,739 --> 00:26:46,741
Only you don't remember shit.
448
00:26:51,245 --> 00:26:52,746
Want some?
449
00:26:54,748 --> 00:26:57,250
- Haven't you abused yourself enough?
- No!
450
00:27:03,256 --> 00:27:06,258
I got a strike that day...
451
00:27:06,258 --> 00:27:08,260
You got that right.
452
00:27:08,761 --> 00:27:09,762
And we were jumping up and down, screaming.
453
00:27:10,262 --> 00:27:12,264
You got that right too.
454
00:27:12,264 --> 00:27:14,767
And that's when Jack came back from
the bar and surprised us.
455
00:27:14,767 --> 00:27:16,768
But he didn't hug me.
456
00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:19,270
That was just your "Gee, I wish I had a daddy" fantasy.
457
00:27:19,771 --> 00:27:21,272
You hugged me.
458
00:27:21,272 --> 00:27:22,273
Remember?
459
00:27:23,274 --> 00:27:24,776
And I gave you a big kiss.
460
00:27:26,778 --> 00:27:29,279
Then that's when he said,
461
00:27:29,279 --> 00:27:30,781
"What are you, a coupla fuckin' fairies?"
462
00:27:32,783 --> 00:27:34,284
and then I pushed you away so hard,
463
00:27:34,284 --> 00:27:36,587
you practically rolled down the lane.
464
00:27:36,587 --> 00:27:38,288
And then I ran.
465
00:27:38,288 --> 00:27:39,789
And I ran...
466
00:27:40,289 --> 00:27:42,291
And... it's hot in here.
467
00:27:54,302 --> 00:27:56,304
Maybe coffee wasn't such a good idea.
468
00:28:04,812 --> 00:28:05,813
Stay here with me.
469
00:28:08,315 --> 00:28:09,817
Okay.
470
00:28:10,317 --> 00:28:11,318
Just for a little bit.
471
00:28:31,336 --> 00:28:33,338
You're high.
472
00:28:33,338 --> 00:28:34,339
Yeah.
473
00:28:42,847 --> 00:28:43,848
What are you doing?
474
00:28:45,349 --> 00:28:46,851
Wait... I'm just...
475
00:28:46,851 --> 00:28:47,852
fooling around.
476
00:28:48,853 --> 00:28:50,854
No. No!
477
00:28:51,354 --> 00:28:51,855
Wait.
478
00:28:55,859 --> 00:28:57,861
Isn't that what you always wanted, Michael?
479
00:28:59,863 --> 00:29:03,365
What? A drunken fuck so you don't
have to think about your dad?
480
00:29:04,867 --> 00:29:05,868
I never wanted that.
481
00:29:43,903 --> 00:29:46,906
You... are the best kisser,
482
00:29:46,906 --> 00:29:48,908
Hands down.
483
00:29:51,910 --> 00:29:53,411
No. No, no, sweetheart.
484
00:29:53,411 --> 00:29:55,914
That's just an expression.
485
00:29:55,914 --> 00:29:56,915
Put 'em... put 'em back up.
486
00:29:57,415 --> 00:29:58,917
- Right.
- Attaboy.
487
00:30:11,929 --> 00:30:13,430
Excuse me...
488
00:30:13,430 --> 00:30:14,931
lover, I, uh...
489
00:30:15,431 --> 00:30:16,933
I'll be right back. Okay?
490
00:30:16,933 --> 00:30:18,434
Don't you... don't you go anywhere.
491
00:30:18,434 --> 00:30:20,937
Stay right there, okay?
492
00:30:47,962 --> 00:30:49,463
Excuse me.
493
00:30:49,463 --> 00:30:50,964
No thanks.
494
00:30:50,964 --> 00:30:52,966
No thanks what?
495
00:30:52,966 --> 00:30:54,968
I don't want to dance.
496
00:30:54,968 --> 00:30:57,470
I wasn't going to ask.
497
00:30:57,470 --> 00:30:59,472
Would you excuse us?
498
00:30:59,472 --> 00:31:01,474
Who the hell are you?
499
00:31:01,474 --> 00:31:03,475
I'm Emmett Honeycutt, Ted Schmidt's friend.
500
00:31:10,983 --> 00:31:12,484
Yeah, we, um...
501
00:31:12,484 --> 00:31:14,485
we met here the other night, when, uh...
502
00:31:14,986 --> 00:31:16,988
you were so tweaked you passed out
on the bathroom floor.
503
00:31:16,988 --> 00:31:19,490
We had to rush you to the emergency room.
504
00:31:19,490 --> 00:31:20,992
Any of this starting to ring a bell?
505
00:31:20,992 --> 00:31:22,493
I remember now.
506
00:31:22,493 --> 00:31:24,996
Good! Good for you.
507
00:31:24,996 --> 00:31:27,497
So you... you feeling better?
508
00:31:27,497 --> 00:31:30,000
Now that Ted's letting me stay with him.
509
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,002
That's our boy.
510
00:31:32,002 --> 00:31:34,504
So, uh, tell me, why aren't you there, uh,
511
00:31:34,504 --> 00:31:36,506
talking to him instead of here
512
00:31:36,506 --> 00:31:38,007
talking to a dealer?
513
00:31:38,507 --> 00:31:41,010
Him? He's just a friend.
514
00:31:41,510 --> 00:31:43,012
Honey...
515
00:31:43,012 --> 00:31:45,514
don't bullshit me.
516
00:31:45,514 --> 00:31:47,016
Ted, maybe.
517
00:31:47,016 --> 00:31:48,517
He doesn't know about these things.
518
00:31:48,517 --> 00:31:50,518
But, uh... but we do.
519
00:31:50,518 --> 00:31:53,521
Oh yes, we know what happens
520
00:31:53,521 --> 00:31:55,023
once you've injected crystal meth
521
00:31:55,523 --> 00:31:57,525
into those skinny little arms.
522
00:31:57,525 --> 00:32:00,028
I tried to warn him...
523
00:32:00,028 --> 00:32:01,028
but he wouldn't listen...
524
00:32:03,530 --> 00:32:04,531
because he loves you.
525
00:32:06,533 --> 00:32:08,035
In fact he loves you so much,
526
00:32:08,035 --> 00:32:10,037
He believes you're clean. Imagine that.
527
00:32:12,039 --> 00:32:14,040
- I love him too.
- No.
528
00:32:15,541 --> 00:32:16,542
You love drugs.
529
00:32:19,045 --> 00:32:20,546
So get drugs.
530
00:32:21,047 --> 00:32:23,549
Here, I will even give you the money.
531
00:32:26,551 --> 00:32:28,553
But leave him alone,
532
00:32:28,553 --> 00:32:31,056
because if you break his heart,
533
00:32:31,056 --> 00:32:33,558
I will break your face.
534
00:32:37,561 --> 00:32:39,063
Now, if you'll excuse me,
535
00:32:39,063 --> 00:32:40,564
they're playing my song.
536
00:33:03,085 --> 00:33:03,886
Hey!
537
00:33:03,886 --> 00:33:05,587
- Justin.
- What are you doing here?
538
00:33:05,587 --> 00:33:07,589
I just thought I'd drop in and say hi.
539
00:33:07,589 --> 00:33:09,091
- Hi, September.
- Hi, Justin.
540
00:33:11,093 --> 00:33:12,593
Uh, can I get you something to eat...
541
00:33:12,593 --> 00:33:14,095
on the house?
542
00:33:14,095 --> 00:33:16,597
Oh, yeah. Um, a hot fudge sundae.
543
00:33:16,597 --> 00:33:19,100
I'm on a diet. I gotta get ready for the prom.
544
00:33:19,100 --> 00:33:20,101
Okay.
545
00:33:21,602 --> 00:33:23,604
I suppose you two are going together?
546
00:33:28,608 --> 00:33:31,611
Daphne, can I talk to you for a second?
547
00:33:31,611 --> 00:33:32,612
Over here.
548
00:33:38,117 --> 00:33:39,618
- Did you say anything?
- About what?
549
00:33:41,620 --> 00:33:43,622
Oh... that.
550
00:33:43,622 --> 00:33:45,124
Oh, that.
551
00:33:45,624 --> 00:33:47,126
We never said it was a secret.
552
00:33:47,626 --> 00:33:48,626
I can't believe it.
553
00:33:49,127 --> 00:33:50,628
What's so terrible?
The worst that can happen
554
00:33:50,628 --> 00:33:52,630
is people think you're straight.
555
00:33:52,630 --> 00:33:54,632
Besides, it was nice.
556
00:33:54,632 --> 00:33:55,633
I wanted to share it with someone.
557
00:33:57,635 --> 00:33:59,637
Well then, I guess... it's okay.
558
00:34:00,137 --> 00:34:02,639
I thought maybe we could do something
when you get off.
559
00:34:02,639 --> 00:34:04,641
Mmm, I can't. I have plans.
560
00:34:04,641 --> 00:34:06,643
What plans?
561
00:34:06,643 --> 00:34:08,145
Just plans.
562
00:34:08,145 --> 00:34:10,147
You didn't tell me.
563
00:34:10,147 --> 00:34:11,648
Why don't you go out with your boyfriend?
564
00:34:11,648 --> 00:34:13,649
We broke up.
565
00:34:13,649 --> 00:34:14,650
You did?
566
00:34:15,151 --> 00:34:16,952
The more I thought about it, the more I realized
567
00:34:17,153 --> 00:34:18,654
we didn't really have that much in common.
568
00:34:18,654 --> 00:34:21,657
I... I thought you had amazing I.M. Sessions.
569
00:34:21,657 --> 00:34:24,159
They weren't that amazing. He can't spell.
570
00:34:24,159 --> 00:34:27,661
And lately we've been running out of
things to chat about.
571
00:34:29,164 --> 00:34:31,665
That never happens to you and me.
572
00:34:38,172 --> 00:34:40,174
I sat there waiting for him for hours.
573
00:34:40,674 --> 00:34:41,675
Well, maybe he forgot.
574
00:34:41,675 --> 00:34:42,676
Or had other plans.
575
00:34:42,676 --> 00:34:43,677
We were supposed to have dinner.
576
00:34:43,677 --> 00:34:45,179
The roast was in the oven.
577
00:34:45,179 --> 00:34:46,180
The wine was chilling.
578
00:34:46,180 --> 00:34:47,680
The flowers were on the table.
579
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:50,183
Finally I went out driving around.
580
00:34:50,183 --> 00:34:51,684
Checking all the bars, the clubs,
581
00:34:51,684 --> 00:34:53,186
I... I... I could... I couldn't find him.
582
00:34:53,186 --> 00:34:54,687
Always the way.
583
00:34:54,687 --> 00:34:56,189
You don't want to run into someone,
584
00:34:56,189 --> 00:34:58,191
they're the first person you see.
585
00:34:58,191 --> 00:35:00,192
You want to see someone,
and they're nowhere...
586
00:35:00,192 --> 00:35:03,195
Do you mind if we stay on track here? Please?
587
00:35:03,195 --> 00:35:05,697
- Sure.
- Thank you.
588
00:35:07,199 --> 00:35:10,202
He never came home.
589
00:35:10,202 --> 00:35:12,703
- Home?
- Well, uh, maybe you should call the police station
590
00:35:12,703 --> 00:35:14,705
- or the hospitals.
- Or the morgue.
591
00:35:15,206 --> 00:35:16,207
Oh, thanks a fucking lot.
592
00:35:16,207 --> 00:35:17,708
Well, we're just trying to be helpful.
593
00:35:17,708 --> 00:35:19,210
Well then would you make a
helpful suggestion.
594
00:35:19,210 --> 00:35:20,711
Mr. Novotny, Register 19.
595
00:35:20,711 --> 00:35:22,213
Michael Novotny, Register 19.
596
00:35:22,213 --> 00:35:24,214
That's me. Gotta go.
597
00:35:24,214 --> 00:35:26,216
You want a helpful suggestion?
598
00:35:26,216 --> 00:35:28,218
Forget about why he left or where he went,
599
00:35:28,718 --> 00:35:30,220
and just be grateful that he's gone.
600
00:35:31,221 --> 00:35:33,723
I gotta go.
601
00:35:33,723 --> 00:35:34,724
So glad I called.
602
00:35:37,226 --> 00:35:39,728
Now I know why people sleep on futons.
603
00:35:39,728 --> 00:35:41,730
Yeah, why didn't you buy a mattress
at a department store?
604
00:35:42,231 --> 00:35:45,234
Lindsay, darling, sweetheart,
605
00:35:45,234 --> 00:35:46,735
you want to field that one?
606
00:35:46,735 --> 00:35:49,737
Because I saw an ad, 50% off.
607
00:35:49,737 --> 00:35:52,240
Oh, okay. So in order to save 100 bucks,
608
00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:55,243
you run the risk of permanent back injury.
609
00:35:55,243 --> 00:35:57,745
Women are so fucking weird.
610
00:35:57,745 --> 00:35:59,746
Why is that a woman thing?
611
00:35:59,746 --> 00:36:02,249
Because no guy, unless he had money issues,
612
00:36:02,249 --> 00:36:03,750
would do something like that.
613
00:36:03,750 --> 00:36:04,751
Push.
614
00:36:04,751 --> 00:36:06,253
Push, push, push.
615
00:36:06,253 --> 00:36:07,754
You get weird about sex.
616
00:36:08,255 --> 00:36:09,256
After I had sex with my friend Daphne,
617
00:36:09,256 --> 00:36:10,756
she fucking flipped out.
618
00:36:10,756 --> 00:36:12,258
What?
619
00:36:12,258 --> 00:36:13,759
You slept with Daphne?
620
00:36:13,759 --> 00:36:15,761
She wanted me to be her first time.
621
00:36:19,765 --> 00:36:21,767
Well how was it?
622
00:36:21,767 --> 00:36:24,969
It was... she's going to need practice.
623
00:36:25,770 --> 00:36:27,272
Anyway, we said that nothing would change,
624
00:36:27,272 --> 00:36:28,773
and it totally has.
625
00:36:28,773 --> 00:36:30,775
I think she's in love with me.
626
00:36:30,775 --> 00:36:32,777
Well, that's because it's not as easy for most women
627
00:36:32,777 --> 00:36:35,279
to separate love and sex as it is for a man.
628
00:36:35,279 --> 00:36:36,780
Yeah.
629
00:36:36,780 --> 00:36:38,282
That was always my big complaint with men.
630
00:36:38,282 --> 00:36:40,284
Especially if it's your first time.
631
00:36:40,284 --> 00:36:43,287
I mean, here you are allowing someone
to come inside your body.
632
00:36:43,287 --> 00:36:45,789
I mean, you've never felt so close to anyone
in your life.
633
00:36:45,789 --> 00:36:47,790
And before you know it, you're...
634
00:36:47,790 --> 00:36:49,292
falling in love with this person
635
00:36:49,292 --> 00:36:50,793
who's made you feel like...
636
00:36:52,295 --> 00:36:54,797
a way you've never felt before.
637
00:36:54,797 --> 00:36:58,800
So now do you understand why Daphne
might be in love with you?
638
00:37:00,802 --> 00:37:02,304
Come on. Push.
639
00:37:12,313 --> 00:37:14,315
I got a message at the store to drop everything.
640
00:37:14,815 --> 00:37:16,817
Right in the middle of our Big Q 24-Hour clearance sale.
641
00:37:16,817 --> 00:37:18,819
That's the biggest event of the year.
642
00:37:18,819 --> 00:37:19,820
Here's your shoes.
643
00:37:22,322 --> 00:37:23,323
After your touching eulogy,
644
00:37:23,323 --> 00:37:26,326
I decided to come and pay my respects
645
00:37:26,326 --> 00:37:27,827
to Jack Kinney.
646
00:37:28,328 --> 00:37:29,829
Where we once bowled the largest number
647
00:37:29,829 --> 00:37:33,333
of consecutive gutter balls ever recorded.
648
00:37:33,832 --> 00:37:35,834
So what do you say?
We roll one for the old fuck?
649
00:37:59,356 --> 00:38:02,359
Heteros: One.
Homos: nothing.
650
00:38:02,359 --> 00:38:03,860
All right, I've paid my respects. Let's go.
651
00:38:07,864 --> 00:38:08,365
Hold on.
652
00:39:17,928 --> 00:39:18,429
Hey!
653
00:39:18,929 --> 00:39:19,930
That's right.
654
00:39:19,930 --> 00:39:21,431
The fuckin' fairies got a strike.
655
00:39:21,431 --> 00:39:23,933
The fuckin' fairies are jumping up and down.
656
00:39:24,934 --> 00:39:27,437
The fuckin' fairies are going to celebrate.
657
00:39:46,454 --> 00:39:47,455
Thank you.
658
00:39:48,956 --> 00:39:50,457
- Hey.
- Hey.
659
00:39:52,460 --> 00:39:55,462
You know, the new "Pansy Division" just came in.
660
00:39:55,462 --> 00:39:55,963
You want to hear?
661
00:39:55,963 --> 00:39:58,465
Oh, no thanks. Some other time.
662
00:39:58,465 --> 00:39:59,966
That's a really cool shirt.
663
00:40:01,468 --> 00:40:02,969
Goes with your eyes.
664
00:40:02,969 --> 00:40:04,871
Daph, you've seen it like a million times.
665
00:40:04,971 --> 00:40:07,474
Guess I never noticed.
666
00:40:07,474 --> 00:40:08,474
But I do now.
667
00:40:09,975 --> 00:40:12,478
Uh, actually, the reason that I'm here...
668
00:40:12,478 --> 00:40:15,380
Uh... well, I was going to send you an E-mail
669
00:40:15,481 --> 00:40:18,484
but I thought it would be better if I came in person.
670
00:40:18,484 --> 00:40:20,485
Well, why don't you come over tonight?
I mean...
671
00:40:20,485 --> 00:40:21,986
My parents aren't going to be home
672
00:40:21,986 --> 00:40:23,488
- and... n
- No!
673
00:40:23,488 --> 00:40:26,991
I mean... it... this is fine.
674
00:40:26,991 --> 00:40:28,993
Actually, I just...
675
00:40:28,993 --> 00:40:31,496
I want to make sure that you understand.
676
00:40:31,496 --> 00:40:35,499
That... I mean, just because we had sex once,
677
00:40:35,999 --> 00:40:38,502
doesn't mean that we're now boyfriend
and girlfriend.
678
00:40:38,502 --> 00:40:40,504
I never said we were.
679
00:40:40,504 --> 00:40:42,005
You're calling me, like, eight times a day.
680
00:40:42,005 --> 00:40:44,006
I haven't called you eight times.
681
00:40:44,006 --> 00:40:46,008
You're right. It was eleven.
682
00:40:46,008 --> 00:40:47,510
I'm not counting three hang-Ups.
683
00:40:49,512 --> 00:40:51,013
And that card.
684
00:40:51,013 --> 00:40:53,516
"Friendship is the highest form of love"...
685
00:40:53,516 --> 00:40:56,017
- Daph...
- All right, I get the point.
686
00:40:56,518 --> 00:40:58,519
I mean, when you've slept with as
many guys as you have,
687
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:00,522
I'm sure that's all it was: another fuck.
688
00:41:00,522 --> 00:41:04,526
I never said it was just another fuck.
689
00:41:04,526 --> 00:41:06,528
I haven't slept with that many guys.
690
00:41:06,528 --> 00:41:08,028
Can we not talk about it here? I've got to work.
691
00:41:08,529 --> 00:41:09,029
Daph...
692
00:41:11,532 --> 00:41:13,033
I was doing you a favour.
693
00:41:14,535 --> 00:41:17,538
That's all it was. That's all it was meant to be and...
694
00:41:18,038 --> 00:41:20,540
now you've totally gotten weird,
which we agreed would not happen.
695
00:41:20,540 --> 00:41:23,042
I'm not the one who got weird.
696
00:41:23,042 --> 00:41:26,045
Ever since you met Brian,
you've become this totally different person.
697
00:41:26,045 --> 00:41:28,948
You go out with him all the time to bars and clubs.
698
00:41:29,048 --> 00:41:30,949
It's like I don't even know you.
699
00:41:33,051 --> 00:41:35,953
You've just become this fulltime homosexual.
700
00:42:26,601 --> 00:42:27,602
How'd you find me?
701
00:42:29,604 --> 00:42:32,606
Didn't I tell you?
702
00:42:32,606 --> 00:42:35,908
Besides being an accountant,
I'm also a part-time sleuth.
703
00:42:37,110 --> 00:42:39,613
- You're funny.
- Yeah.
704
00:42:41,114 --> 00:42:42,616
Sheer terror piques my wit.
705
00:42:48,621 --> 00:42:50,922
Your hands are cold.
706
00:42:58,129 --> 00:42:59,930
I want you to come back.
707
00:43:02,133 --> 00:43:03,134
I can't.
708
00:43:03,635 --> 00:43:04,535
Don't argue.
709
00:43:04,636 --> 00:43:06,137
I'll screw everything up.
710
00:43:06,137 --> 00:43:07,638
You won't.
711
00:43:07,638 --> 00:43:09,639
I'll make sure of it.
712
00:43:11,141 --> 00:43:12,942
I'll take care of you.
713
00:43:14,144 --> 00:43:15,646
I want you to go now.
714
00:43:17,147 --> 00:43:18,148
Please.
715
00:43:19,649 --> 00:43:21,150
And leave you sleeping on this mattress
716
00:43:21,150 --> 00:43:22,652
that some asshole threw up on?
717
00:43:25,154 --> 00:43:27,656
I'm the one who threw up on it.
718
00:43:38,166 --> 00:43:39,167
My breath stinks.
719
00:43:45,172 --> 00:43:46,674
I don't care.
720
00:44:08,193 --> 00:44:10,696
That... opera...
721
00:44:12,197 --> 00:44:14,199
"La Traviata".
722
00:44:16,201 --> 00:44:17,703
You never told me how it ends.
723
00:44:20,705 --> 00:44:22,907
Does What's-His-Name marry the slut?
724
00:44:26,210 --> 00:44:28,212
Of course.
725
00:44:29,714 --> 00:44:32,715
Despite the wishes of his cruel father.
726
00:44:34,217 --> 00:44:35,218
And...
727
00:44:37,220 --> 00:44:38,722
they live to sing many...
728
00:44:40,724 --> 00:44:42,924
glorious duets.
729
00:45:04,245 --> 00:45:06,747
Whoa. What are... what are you doing?
730
00:45:12,753 --> 00:45:14,254
Well, come on. It's cold.
731
00:45:20,259 --> 00:45:22,261
Patience, young fella, patience.
732
00:45:23,763 --> 00:45:24,764
Now what?
733
00:46:03,299 --> 00:46:04,801
So long, Jack.
734
00:46:10,301 --> 00:46:12,801
You son of a bitch.
51441
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof