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1
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Hey. Hello.
2
00:01:38,570 --> 00:01:39,570
Let's come in.
3
00:01:40,730 --> 00:01:43,130
We wash them in hand.
4
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It's hard.
5
00:01:44,710 --> 00:01:45,710
It's hard.
6
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,020
They did it. COVID meal.
7
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COVID meal.
8
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:28,400
Thank you.
9
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:29,640
You're welcome.
10
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:32,020
You're welcome.
11
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:34,040
I need some butter.
12
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,120
You want butter?
13
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I need some butter.
14
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,160
Come on.
15
00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:42,360
I'll be that way.
16
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:43,800
Let's go.
17
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:44,840
Bye.
18
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,420
Where do you think you did come from?
19
00:02:49,580 --> 00:02:51,980
Where do I think movies come from? No,
booties.
20
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Booties.
21
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:59,420
Such a dad.
22
00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:01,340
True.
23
00:03:02,540 --> 00:03:05,840
Weird. I think it's harder and harder to
open these cups.
24
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Good broccoli.
25
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It's not warm enough to not butter
anymore.
26
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,400
But still very, very good.
27
00:03:29,859 --> 00:03:30,859
Kelly,
28
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get out of there.
29
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:00,600
Is that good?
30
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:01,800
Uh -huh.
31
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:09,260
Oh, um... Well, I just found out that
the person
32
00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:15,880
I was seeing before all this went down
is
33
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:20,720
sheltering in place with some dude, and
they are definitely fucking...
34
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:24,740
So much for that gold star, I guess.
35
00:04:29,710 --> 00:04:30,710
What, gold star?
36
00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,710
Like a gold star lesbian.
37
00:04:33,210 --> 00:04:34,230
Have you heard of that?
38
00:04:35,070 --> 00:04:36,070
I have not.
39
00:04:37,130 --> 00:04:38,130
Oh my god.
40
00:04:39,030 --> 00:04:44,710
It's like when a lesbian has only had
sex with
41
00:04:44,710 --> 00:04:47,270
vaginas, I guess.
42
00:04:48,350 --> 00:04:54,770
But anyway, it doesn't matter. It's
stupid. I don't want to get into it.
43
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:05,430
movie or something.
44
00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:08,030
Yeah.
45
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:12,470
Yeah, that sounds distracting enough.
46
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I'll make popcorn.
47
00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:41,330
and this girl serious?
48
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Person.
49
00:05:43,330 --> 00:05:44,330
Huh?
50
00:05:45,190 --> 00:05:47,910
They're not a girl. They're a babe.
51
00:05:49,570 --> 00:05:50,570
Oh.
52
00:05:51,990 --> 00:05:52,990
Um.
53
00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:58,270
Were you and them serious?
54
00:05:59,710 --> 00:06:00,710
No.
55
00:06:00,990 --> 00:06:01,990
No, not at all.
56
00:06:04,690 --> 00:06:05,970
Why are you so upset?
57
00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:07,870
I'm not upset.
58
00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:11,030
I didn't say I was a pet.
59
00:06:13,990 --> 00:06:15,370
And the rules have changed now.
60
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:51,240
do you know that tarantino has a foot
fetish gross right i
61
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,400
gotta go to bed
62
00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:40,310
Mike? Mike, are you okay?
63
00:09:44,910 --> 00:09:47,370
You can come in here, dude. Like, if
you're a living room.
64
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,610
Like, if you want to watch, you can.
65
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:14,270
undergraduate women's sexuality course,
we learned that
66
00:10:14,270 --> 00:10:20,590
masturbation, even sex, is a
67
00:10:20,590 --> 00:10:23,410
basic human need.
68
00:10:24,970 --> 00:10:31,790
Eating, drinking, sleeping, we have
69
00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:32,790
to do them.
70
00:10:39,790 --> 00:10:40,790
The basic dad.
71
00:10:41,270 --> 00:10:42,570
Please don't call me this.
72
00:10:47,030 --> 00:10:48,030
My dad.
73
00:10:50,710 --> 00:10:52,210
No, not that either.
74
00:10:54,610 --> 00:11:01,610
Well, we are going to find a way to get
through quarantine together. We are
75
00:11:01,610 --> 00:11:07,190
going to have to start indulging our
basic human needs.
76
00:11:07,550 --> 00:11:10,150
I'm the one who goes fucking crazy.
77
00:11:16,190 --> 00:11:20,070
I really thought I was going to die.
78
00:11:20,530 --> 00:11:21,530
Are you kidding me?
79
00:11:21,870 --> 00:11:23,030
I'm in law school.
80
00:11:23,290 --> 00:11:25,610
All I do is fucking study.
81
00:11:26,910 --> 00:11:30,890
That's half the reason I'm even here
with you. I don't trust myself to be on
82
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,630
campus with student housing.
83
00:11:32,870 --> 00:11:37,230
I just... That's why I'm not... seeing
anyone seriously.
84
00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:38,970
I don't have time.
85
00:11:39,390 --> 00:11:42,570
The last thing I need is some needy
girlfriend, right?
86
00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:47,670
Wait. I thought they were a they.
87
00:11:48,930 --> 00:11:50,070
They are.
88
00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:58,770
Never mind. The point is, I don't trust
myself enough to be on
89
00:11:58,770 --> 00:12:03,670
campus. You know, I feel like I would
hook up with somebody.
90
00:12:04,330 --> 00:12:05,330
You know?
91
00:12:05,630 --> 00:12:09,390
Whoever is slutty enough to ignore
shelter -in -place orders in Los
92
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:17,130
That's way riskier than mutual
masturbation. God, even sex
93
00:12:17,130 --> 00:12:19,450
with my ex -stepfather.
94
00:12:20,590 --> 00:12:23,330
I've been thinking about it. We're COVID
-bonded now.
95
00:12:24,650 --> 00:12:29,890
And I think it would be fine if we
fussed.
96
00:12:30,270 --> 00:12:31,370
I really do.
97
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:41,220
You know, when you put it like that, you
make a good point.
98
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:43,620
Safer than the alternative.
99
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:48,760
But, honey, now I'm a little bit worried
that you may be affected.
100
00:12:49,780 --> 00:12:51,620
Oh, my God.
101
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:53,380
Rude.
102
00:12:54,380 --> 00:12:55,380
Rude.
103
00:12:57,460 --> 00:13:01,840
Listen, you're the one living on your
stepdaughter's life.
104
00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:03,180
Stepdaughter.
105
00:13:11,009 --> 00:13:17,750
oh my god you're the best best
106
00:13:17,750 --> 00:13:19,050
dad ever
107
00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:53,200
Is that okay?
108
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:55,880
That's great.
109
00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:05,460
really know what I'm doing.
110
00:14:40,810 --> 00:14:41,810
Okay.
111
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,480
as a lesbian.
112
00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:25,620
Tell you what, you're really good at
that.
113
00:15:29,060 --> 00:15:32,840
I can't believe you've only done this a
few times.
114
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,740
Something I've always really liked.
115
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:43,900
You always wear an overachiever.
116
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,040
Yeah.
117
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:03,890
Hmm. Hmm.
118
00:17:54,570 --> 00:17:55,570
Maybe I did a good job.
119
00:20:06,139 --> 00:20:13,080
realistic toys these days, so it depends
on your definition of real.
120
00:20:16,380 --> 00:20:23,360
I mean, I've definitely heard.
121
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:46,870
the time, especially since the world may
end.
122
00:20:47,350 --> 00:20:53,810
It would be terrible to, you know, never
123
00:20:53,810 --> 00:20:58,690
experience such an important part of the
human experience.
124
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:48,480
Yes, I didn't mean to do this. I date
women regularly, thank you very much.
125
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:49,800
I had to.
126
00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:51,900
Look at what?
127
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:58,100
Straight men are not technically usually
known for their culling vote.
128
00:21:59,420 --> 00:22:00,900
Okay, okay, okay.
129
00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:02,380
Hashtag not all men.
130
00:22:02,620 --> 00:22:03,960
Okay, point me.
131
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:28,240
Okay.
132
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:28,560
We can do this quarantine thing a little
while longer now.
133
00:41:29,860 --> 00:41:32,180
Yeah, it's not so bad, right? It's not
so bad.
134
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:37,880
Oh, great job coming in my house.
135
00:41:38,220 --> 00:41:42,660
Definitely not on birth control all day,
right?
136
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:56,120
Where's my phone?
8559
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