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1
00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:08,920
I need to be Joseph's godmother.
Too late, Laura, we're done now.
2
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:11,200
Siobhan is in her second trimester.
3
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,000
That's great!
4
00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:15,600
Why don't we talk about it
as a family?
5
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,320
This is Samara Brennan,
the influencer.
6
00:00:18,321 --> 00:00:19,959
I think we
should get back together.
7
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:21,360
HE CHOKES
8
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:24,560
SHE MOANS
Yeah, what about your wife?
9
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:38,680
Laura.
Oh, hey, lovely to meet you!
10
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:42,920
Oh. Thank you so much for seeing me.
11
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,480
With all that's going on
in the world Right.
12
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,680
Oh, I love your house.
Oh, thank you.
13
00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:50,880
And your coffee smells lovely.
14
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,880
I love the smell of coffee.
15
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,560
But I don't like the taste of it.
16
00:00:54,561 --> 00:00:57,439
I know what you're thinking, how can
anyone not like coffee but...
17
00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:58,599
I don't know, I just don't.
18
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,890
It's not an anti caffeine thing
cos I love tea.
19
00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,840
Really love tea.
Sometimes I drink 12 cups a day.
20
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,760
In fact
I'd kill for a cup right now.
21
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:07,970
No, that wasn't me
asking you to make me one.
22
00:01:07,971 --> 00:01:09,879
Two sugars?
23
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,280
THEY LAUGH
I was just joking.
24
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:14,400
So do you wanna keep talking
about tea or...
25
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,040
Yeah! Sorry, yeah, no, course.
26
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,560
Is that good? Just there?
(MOANS) Yeah.
27
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:26,400
Slow, slow, slow, now, now, now, go.
28
00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,960
HE GROANS
Oh... Oh yeah.
29
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:31,880
HE GROANS
Martin. No.
30
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,400
SHE GASPS
31
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,880
Oh my God!
HE GROANS
32
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,240
HE LAUGHS
33
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:40,680
THEY BOTH SIGH
34
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:44,400
Well done.
35
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:47,200
Mum and Dad want to take us out
for dinner tonight.
36
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,640
Oh, great.
37
00:01:48,641 --> 00:01:51,519
What did you tell them
when we split up?
38
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,680
Just that you thought there was
a huge physical disconnect.
39
00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,040
You loved me like a brother.
40
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,440
A brother that you hate.
41
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,010
Why did you say that?
Because that's what you said.
42
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:04,080
God, that sounds awful.
Well, it was awful.
43
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:07,240
I was being brutal so you didn't
think I'd change my mind.
44
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:09,360
HE CHUCKLES
That worked well!
45
00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,040
Your mum must hate me.
46
00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:14,400
HE SIGHS
She doesn't hate you.
47
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,360
Well, my dad doesn't anyway.
48
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,120
Siobhan! What are you doing?
49
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,920
It's a couch to 5K
pregnancy running thing.
50
00:02:32,921 --> 00:02:36,399
Apparently the fitter you are in
pregnancy the easier everything is.
51
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,760
That's a myth. You'll hear a lot
of those. Just ignore them all.
52
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,360
What are you doing here?
Can you stop doing that?
53
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,480
That's making me feel a bit...
Sorry.
54
00:02:44,481 --> 00:02:46,999
We were just wondering
if we could keep Ella tonight.
55
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,440
No! It's our night.
56
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,360
We've made plans, big plans.
57
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:52,920
Ella didn't mention any plans.
58
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,240
They're a surprise.
59
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,480
Ella wants to stay with us.
60
00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:01,800
She says all she ever does here when
she's with you is watch Bake Off
61
00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:05,400
while you're on your phone.
She's manipulating you, Siobhan!
62
00:03:05,401 --> 00:03:08,199
I switch my phone off
during Bake Off.
63
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,960
Look, my sister and her kids
and their new puppy are coming down.
64
00:03:11,961 --> 00:03:13,799
Ella's so excited
about the new puppy.
65
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:17,320
She hasn't heard the plans I've got
for her. I'll get her after work.
66
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,080
As planned. Enjoy your... jog.
67
00:03:23,911 --> 00:03:28,399
I think Father Charlie
would have let me do it.
68
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,200
The way he was looking at me,
it was like he knew, yeah.
69
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:32,600
She's godmother material.
70
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:36,720
Like he wanted to say, "Just give
her the gig, for fuck's sake!"
71
00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:40,800
It was my prick of a brother Patrick
who was like, "It's too late."
72
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:44,200
The thing is, I was maybe
five or ten minutes late.
73
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,400
30, tops.
74
00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:50,800
But he just loves turning
a little drama into a big crisis.
75
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,240
Must be something missing
in his life.
76
00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,720
SHE LAUGHS
I was only joking but seriously.
77
00:03:55,721 --> 00:03:58,719
I think Father Charlie was pissed
off with him, to be honest.
78
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:01,560
I think everyone was. There was
a vibe I was picking up on.
79
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:07,040
Mm-hm. So we've spent a lot of time
today talking about the christening
80
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,720
and your brother.
81
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:12,440
Erm... Is there anything else
that brought you here?
82
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,280
Yeah, there is something else
actually.
83
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:17,360
Now that you mention it.
84
00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:21,200
There's an influencer.
85
00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:23,160
Samara Brennan.
86
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,840
What's an influencer?
Great question, Doctor!
87
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:29,560
Basically it's someone
with no sense of shame.
88
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:35,080
Who's paid to eat stuff, wear stuff,
read stuff, probably think stuff
89
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,120
and they take pictures
of themselves doing it.
90
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:41,160
And they've got hundreds
of thousands of followers.
91
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,400
Hundred and thousands of followers
92
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,880
who go and do
exactly the same thing.
93
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:49,480
It's absolutely...
It's off the scale mental.
94
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,400
So you're here
because you're worried that...
95
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,760
the influencer is influencing you?
96
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,600
She wishes!
97
00:04:58,640 --> 00:04:59,800
SHE LAUGHS
98
00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:01,159
You know, it doesn't matter.
99
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,320
Just forget I even mentioned it.
100
00:05:03,321 --> 00:05:05,519
We've spent too long
talking about her already.
101
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:09,480
If you've written her name down
in your notes just score it out.
102
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,760
That's it, basically, that's me.
In a nutshell.
103
00:05:12,761 --> 00:05:14,199
Nothing really wrong with me,
104
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:18,640
just a few small issues with
the old human condition. Who hasn't?
105
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:23,440
As you can tell,
I'm an incredibly happy person.
106
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:28,520
Must get a lot of very damaged,
very broken people in here.
107
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:31,240
But also a lot of really
interesting people as well.
108
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,720
Should you not be writing this stuff
down in case you forget any of it?
109
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:42,680
Well, if I did forget any of it,
or even all of it,
110
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,160
how would that make you feel?
111
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,280
SHE LAUGHS
112
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,120
What a weird question.
113
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,880
Oh, I meant to say...
114
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,200
I like your toenail varnish.
115
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:58,240
I really like it. It looks like
an expensive brand like Chanel.
116
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:01,400
So that's our time for today.
What? Already?
117
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,000
Yeah.
That flew by!
118
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:09,280
Yeah. I feel like
I've taken a class A drug.
119
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,920
No, not that I do
that kind of thing. Any more.
120
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,800
Ah, thank you so much!
121
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:18,760
I don't know what you've done
but it's worked. You're a miracle worker.
122
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,840
Like God. Or was that Jesus?
123
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,520
Not that I believe. I wish I did.
124
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,920
I think it would make life,
and death actually, a lot easier.
125
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:30,160
There's definitely some things,
you know, we can work on.
126
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,360
But let's pick up on that next time.
Great.
127
00:06:32,361 --> 00:06:34,759
So I'm thinking
maybe one or two more sessions?
128
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,640
Uh, just let's see how things go.
129
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,320
You're not getting away with it
this time. Oh God.
130
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,640
That was absolutely fantastic.
Thank you!
131
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,320
Right.
It feels great!
132
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,160
Not to be judged.
133
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,640
Yeah.
134
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,440
Jesus fucking Christ.
135
00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,440
Hello, pal!
136
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:01,920
You get your fix?
Yeah.
137
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,680
Are you OK about everything?
138
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,720
I feel pretty amazing actually.
139
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,480
Taken control of my life.
I'm steering this ship.
140
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,280
It's a new me you're looking at.
141
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:14,040
And you're cool about the column?
I couldn't care less.
142
00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,120
I'm glad whatshername's doing it.
143
00:07:16,121 --> 00:07:18,599
Column's opinions are cheap and
easy, aren't they?
144
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,000
Anyone can have an opinion.
145
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:23,920
Jacob Rees-Mogg,
harmless, old-fashioned, eccentric.
146
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,120
Jacob Rees-Mogg. Cunt.
147
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,920
See? Easy peasy.
148
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,080
No, I wanna do real journalism.
149
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:34,120
I want to separate the truth
from the post truth and whatnot.
150
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,920
So you're still pissed off
about the column? Nice one.
151
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,010
Not at all.
152
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,040
You wanna do lunch later?
153
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,440
Yeah.
154
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:49,360
But just as friends and colleagues.
To talk about fake news.
155
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:50,840
Gender politics.
156
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:53,600
It's all I'm interested in anyway.
157
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,480
I'm serious, Kieran.
Just lunch, all right?
158
00:07:57,481 --> 00:07:59,519
I'm not that woman any more.
I've changed.
159
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,560
I've been in therapy.
160
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,440
Since when?
This morning.
161
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,600
Do you think I'm reliable?
162
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:17,840
Definitely.
163
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,880
Trustworthy?
More than me!
164
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:24,200
I need you to write me
a fake reference.
165
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:26,840
You're not leaving, are you?
No.
166
00:08:26,841 --> 00:08:29,159
I'm going through
with the puppy plan for Ella.
167
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,840
Ah! Picking it up later today.
She doesn't know yet.
168
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:35,080
You need a reference for that?
Yeah, I know, it's ludicrous.
169
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,200
It's cos it's hypoallergenic.
Whatever the fuck that means.
170
00:08:38,201 --> 00:08:39,639
Right, what do you want me to say?
171
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:42,600
That I love animals,
that animals love me.
172
00:08:42,601 --> 00:08:45,879
Say I'm like David Attenborough
with a vagina. Just lie basically.
173
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,240
I hate lying, I'm rubbish at it.
174
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:51,410
Fine!
175
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:56,600
She is gorgeous!
176
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:58,440
What's her name?
Declan.
177
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,280
Oh, sorry.
178
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,560
Hello, baby Declan!
179
00:09:03,561 --> 00:09:05,519
I've never been so exhausted
in my life.
180
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:09,040
He wants to feed every hour.
My actual bones are tired.
181
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:10,440
You poor thing.
182
00:09:10,441 --> 00:09:13,199
Would you hold him for a bit
while I do a few bits and pieces?
183
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:17,120
I'd love to!
That'd be grand. Thank you.
184
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,480
That's no trouble.
185
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:22,920
Hello, little fella,
come over here to Auntie Alison.
186
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,880
Yes, look at you.
187
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:29,400
Oh, aren't you too cute for school?
Look at you!
188
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,800
Oh, erm... Wait.
189
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,560
Er... Hey! Declan's mum!
BABY CRIES
190
00:09:34,561 --> 00:09:37,559
I thought you meant in the shop!
I didn't think you were leaving!
191
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,280
BABY CRIES
192
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,440
Laura, what you working on?
193
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,720
Erm, a couple of hard-hitting
newsy features here.
194
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:50,200
But first,
how about a piece on godparenting?
195
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,600
I was thinking
of looking at two aspects of it.
196
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:56,560
First that there should be a limit
to how many one person is allowed to have.
197
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,440
Cos I think the child could miss out
if it's one of many.
198
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:04,960
And also what are the essential
qualities of the perfect godparent?
199
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,360
Like, money.
Or connections.
200
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,440
Literally all people think about
when picking godparents
201
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,280
is who's got the deepest pockets.
202
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,880
Access to internships, even better
than money. Four people chose me.
203
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,800
Jesus.
Free photography.
204
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,320
I thought I was in demand
with three.
205
00:10:20,321 --> 00:10:22,359
What about you, Laura,
how many have you got?
206
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,600
Er...
207
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,720
There was a big mix up
at the christening there.
208
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,920
So at the moment it's...
209
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,520
minus one.
210
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:36,000
Actually let's just park that idea.
It's a bit shit.
211
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,880
No, no, no, I like it.
212
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,640
Godparents.
213
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:40,840
What else you got?
214
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:44,240
There's this wellness retreat
in Costa Rica. Mm-hm.
215
00:10:44,241 --> 00:10:47,399
And I was thinking the paper could
send me and I could write about it.
216
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,160
The readers would love it.
217
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,040
I don't think our budget
will stretch to that but...
218
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:53,760
I do have something closer to home.
219
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,520
Claire wants to do
a big hit on homelessness.
220
00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:00,000
Could you take that on?
221
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:01,560
Interview people, sleep out.
222
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,720
Raise awareness.
223
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,440
SHE SIGHS
224
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,840
I care about social issues, OK?
Don't get me wrong.
225
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,760
I really, really, really care.
226
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:14,440
You know I do.
227
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:19,840
I just don't know if I'm in the
right frame of mind for that right now.
228
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,950
Couldn't you just get one of
the interns to do the sleep-out?
229
00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:30,080
I know they're disposable but for
some reason our insurers worry about them.
230
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,600
Plus Claire wants you to do it.
231
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:35,640
So it's not a choice.
232
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:47,520
Hey. We having wine?
Actually I don't want wine.
233
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:49,280
Better keep a clear head.
234
00:11:49,281 --> 00:11:52,799
I can only stay for ten minutes.
I've got lunch with a contact.
235
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:56,640
Hey, was Katie telling you,
had my first therapy session today.
236
00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:00,800
No!
Oh. Well, I did and it was amazing.
237
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,680
Guess what?
You've dumped Martin.
238
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,160
You love Martin?
Actually, it's going really well.
239
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,280
So well that we're having
a big dinner with his folks.
240
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,720
Already? That's so...
241
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:17,840
Nice? Grown up? Normal?
242
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:19,040
Weird!
243
00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:23,279
I can't get my head round the fact that you
can have death fantasies about a fella one minute
244
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,359
and the next
you're playing happy families.
245
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:29,600
I know what you mean but it's nice.
Nicer than I thought.
246
00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:32,279
That's what my granny said
when she went into a care home.
247
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,600
Actually, Martin,
the stupid bastard,
248
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,120
told his mum that the reason
why I ditched him
249
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,840
was because I didn't love him.
250
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,400
It was. Only because you said
I was stringing hm along.
251
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:43,490
You were.
252
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:47,040
Anyway, I need you guys to drop in.
253
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:50,600
Just to dilute the tension
and big me up a bit
254
00:12:50,601 --> 00:12:52,799
And if it comes up,
just say it was your idea.
255
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:53,880
The break up.
256
00:12:53,881 --> 00:12:56,959
We could say Laura sabotaged the
relationship because she was jealous
257
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,159
of how happy you were,
something like that? Fine.
258
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:01,040
No, we're not saying that!
259
00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:03,119
How about we say it was you
who sabotaged it, huh?
260
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,120
That work for everyone?
261
00:13:05,121 --> 00:13:07,719
I wouldn't have a problem with that
but no one would buy it.
262
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:11,720
You can tell just by looking at me,
I don't envy people in a couple, I pity them.
263
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:15,800
Is that about Rory and Siobhan
and the baby news? No.
264
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,400
Are you worried about not being a
good mother? Why would you say that?
265
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,760
PHONE BLEEPS
I read this thing by this expert
266
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,630
who said that kids benefit
when their mothers fail them.
267
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,040
Or something like that.
268
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,840
Fucking prick!
269
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,720
Ah, it's just a contact.
270
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,040
Cancelling lunch.
271
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:37,960
So, yeah, I need to get Martin's mum
a little pressie.
272
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:42,320
Something that says please don't
hate me. Sorry I hurt your boy.
273
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,519
Sometimes people say things
they don't mean.
274
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,839
But then sometimes mean things
they can't say.
275
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:50,120
Maybe I had unrealistic expectations
back then.
276
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:51,920
You know, life's complicated.
277
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,360
Something that captures all that.
278
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:56,930
BOTH: Smelly candle.
279
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,110
How long
have you been in this situation?
280
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,080
About 12 years now.
281
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,040
And erm...
282
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,520
What happened?
My dad died.
283
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,440
That's when it started.
284
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,440
Funny, I didn't think
I liked him that much.
285
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,560
Suddenly just didn't know
what to do with myself.
286
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,390
Nothing fit together any more,
you know?
287
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,840
Think I just needed to cry.
288
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,120
Boys don't cry, you know?
289
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,400
So... just went mental.
290
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,120
Lost everything.
291
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:45,800
My job first.
292
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:49,680
Then the house.
293
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:52,520
Then the wife took my kids.
294
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,560
I don't blame her.
295
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,360
SHE WAILS
296
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,480
Sorry, love.
297
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:02,640
It's not that bad.
298
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:08,000
(CRIES) It is! It is!
299
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,280
I try not to think about, you know?
300
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,520
Put it to the back of my head
but er...
301
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:14,880
SHE CRIES
302
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,800
You're right.
303
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:19,120
It's hellish.
304
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,360
It's fucking hellish.
305
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,880
I'm so, so sorry!
306
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,560
Is she OK?
She'll be fine.
307
00:15:29,071 --> 00:15:33,799
You need to work
on your professional distance.
308
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:37,000
Yeah. I've got professional
distance. All right?
309
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,920
It's just very, very small.
310
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,480
That poor man.
311
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:46,240
This life, it's so unfair.
It's so unjust.
312
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,760
Yeah, it's a fine line
and we're the lucky ones.
313
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,840
Sorry, hun, I can't stay
and cry even if I wanted to.
314
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,560
I need to go and get Ella Bella.
315
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,680
Make her the happiest girl
in the world
316
00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:01,880
before she has to face
all this... life.
317
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,680
Give her a kiss.
318
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,480
And take my hand. Close your eyes.
319
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,240
Do you trust me?
Maybe.
320
00:16:16,551 --> 00:16:20,319
Look out for the puddle!
No, not really!
321
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:21,920
SHE LAUGHS
322
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:25,280
He's so cute!
WOMAN MAKES KISSING SOUNDS
323
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,280
This is the best day of my life.
324
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,320
Who's the best puppy ever?
325
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:33,119
Tell me about yourself.
Well, I'm a photographer.
326
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:34,640
What brought you here?
327
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,560
What made you decide
you were ready for a dog?
328
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,200
I have always loved animals.
Especially tame ones.
329
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,960
Have you ever owned a dog?
Sure. Of course.
330
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,200
A while ago now.
When I was growing up.
331
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,760
How long ago was that?
Well, er...
332
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:53,400
It was when my mum left.
My dad got a cocker spaniel.
333
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,520
A sort of replacement,
though that didn't really work out.
334
00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,560
When was that? 42 years ago.
335
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:04,560
I dealt with my mum walking out.
336
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,960
I think I can handle opening a can
of Pedigree Chum every morning.
337
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,750
Do you have any other children?
No.
338
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,800
Just one fantastic
dog-loving daughter.
339
00:17:13,801 --> 00:17:16,519
Husband? What the hell is this?
No, I don't have a husband.
340
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,999
I've got something better,
I've got an ex husband.
341
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,120
I've also got a mortgage
and a career.
342
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,440
Great friends.
343
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,560
So are you gonna sell me that puppy,
344
00:17:24,561 --> 00:17:26,719
the one my daughter's
fallen in love with?
345
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:30,360
It's not a good match.
I think you're more of a cat person.
346
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,400
Fine.
347
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:37,520
Plenty more dogs in the kennels.
Your loss. Your puppy's loss.
348
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,530
Come on, sweetheart, all these dogs
have got rabies like their owner.
349
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,560
Ella! It's OK, Mummy won't let you
go with the bad lady.
350
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:53,680
I'll make it up to you, honey.
I'm sorry.
351
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,960
It's not my fault but I'm sorry.
352
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,280
You could have tried harder.
I did try hard!
353
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:03,080
OK, I'll find us another breeder,
how about that?
354
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:06,160
I'm gonna find us another breeder
right now,
355
00:18:06,161 --> 00:18:07,719
one with
slightly lower standards.
356
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,920
I just want go to Dad's
and see their puppy.
357
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,800
New nail varnish?
Yeah.
358
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:21,760
Do you think it suits me?
359
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,200
Yeah.
The new me?
360
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,120
I think it probably would have
suited the old you as well.
361
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:29,880
Not sure.
362
00:18:29,881 --> 00:18:34,399
Listen, don't say anything
to Katie about this.
363
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:38,280
But I honestly don't know what she
was doing in therapy for two years.
364
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,320
She did have
a bit of a shopping list.
365
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,200
I think I'm being fast tracked.
366
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:46,550
Maybe it's just that me
and the therapist have clicked real quickly.
367
00:18:46,551 --> 00:18:48,639
I think we might even become pals.
368
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,119
I don't know why you don't go
to confession. It's free.
369
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:56,000
My gran knows all the local priests.
It'd be awkward for everyone.
370
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,240
First there's the atheism.
371
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,840
So what about you and Marty boy?
372
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,480
I'm going for it, Laura.
You know, he's a good lad.
373
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,360
I'm 38.
374
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,840
38. I mean, how did that happen?
375
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,600
I think
I'm finally ready to settle down.
376
00:19:13,601 --> 00:19:15,519
Just need to get his mam and dad
on side.
377
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,640
They love you, how could they not?
378
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,000
Oh, thanks!
379
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,560
Er...
380
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:28,680
Listen, I know I haven't been
a great friend over the past while,
381
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:29,800
year or so, whatever.
382
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,480
But I wanna say sorry.
This is the new me, OK?
383
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,680
Post therapy
and that's all over now.
384
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,000
Really all over, once and for all.
385
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,400
With Kieran.
386
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:44,120
What? You were still seeing him?
387
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,560
Erm...
Oh, for fuck's sake, Laura!
388
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,600
You promised me it was all over.
389
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:52,760
Like really all over, once
and for all, what, six months ago!
390
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,800
It was meant to be!
391
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,840
I mean,
this is why I didn't tell you.
392
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,360
I didn't want you to think
badly of me.
393
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:04,440
I was trying to end it!
I was but it was really hard.
394
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,480
As wrong as it was,
there was something between us.
395
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:08,760
Something real!
396
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,640
Yeah, his wife!
397
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:13,160
I don't understand it.
What is it about him?
398
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,320
What has he got?
399
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:22,800
I know you're disappointed in me.
I'm disappointed in me.
400
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,760
But it was kind of like
there was two Lauras.
401
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:29,240
It was like the good nice Laura
and then the other one.
402
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,920
And, look, what I'm trying to say
is she's dead now. I killed her this morning.
403
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:37,000
And it's just good nice Laura left.
404
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:40,720
I might get this as well.
405
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:44,680
No, we can't have the exact
same colour. That'd be weird.
406
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,120
How did I know I'd find you
and your daddy
407
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,440
at Granny and Granddad's house?
408
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:57,080
Did he not tell you?
We're all moving in together.
409
00:20:57,081 --> 00:20:59,239
Your mam
wants to watch his fingernails grow.
410
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,920
And check every shite as it happens.
So do you!
411
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,680
Where you off to?
The dancing.
412
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,840
Three days a week.
We want to keep fit and healthy.
413
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:10,280
You look tired, Laura.
What have you done to your hair?
414
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,640
What's wrong with it?
It just looks a bit lifeless.
415
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:17,080
I hope you're taking care
of yourself and eating properly.
416
00:21:17,081 --> 00:21:18,479
Not just working all the time.
417
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,680
Cos you know what they say.
418
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:25,240
All work and no play makes Auntie
Laura a dull dull girl!
419
00:21:25,241 --> 00:21:27,719
I don't think we've got anything
to worry about there.
420
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,800
Actually, Mam, talking about work,
421
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,840
the reason I'm here is the paper's
doing this big campaign
422
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,760
on homelessness and I'm gonna be
sleeping rough tonight.
423
00:21:36,761 --> 00:21:38,639
You're not doing it on your own,
are you?
424
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,560
Yeah. Well, not exactly,
there'll be charity staff.
425
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,840
But emotionally
I'll be very much on my own.
426
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,000
I'm not happy about this.
427
00:21:48,001 --> 00:21:50,719
I'm going to talk to your editor.
Who does she think she is?
428
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:54,320
Putting my daughter's life
at risk for a fecking story!
429
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:57,000
Yeah, well, I don't know
if you're aware of this
430
00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,400
but if the worst does happen
tonight, God forbid...
431
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,400
SHE SIGHS
432
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:06,880
Apparently grief
is exacerbated if there's guilt.
433
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,000
You know, in the mix.
434
00:22:08,001 --> 00:22:09,919
Laura, if you die tonight
we'll all be sad.
435
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:13,639
Sad? Will I feel guilty cos I didn't
arrange another christening for you?
436
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,520
No. Oh, leave us the songs you want
at your funeral.
437
00:22:16,521 --> 00:22:18,079
All right, Patrick, that's fine.
438
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:22,760
But poor Joseph. All his godparents
seemed a little uninspiring to me.
439
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:26,120
Specially that dope
that thinks he's a comedian.
440
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,280
James? The paediatrician?
441
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:30,440
SHE SCOFFS
442
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:31,920
Well, yeah, that explains it.
443
00:22:31,921 --> 00:22:35,039
You know, paediatricians are
renowned for only caring about kids.
444
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,400
What happens
when Joseph's a teenager?
445
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,560
I'll just kiss the baby goodbye.
446
00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:42,040
Take care, love.
Never mind take care.
447
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:43,640
Take the bread knife.
448
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,160
There we go.
449
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,680
I'll be back by eight, OK?
Half eight at the latest.
450
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,440
I have just have to go
do a quick favour for a friend.
451
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:02,880
She got herself into this
stupid situation with an ex.
452
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:10,360
Is this cheating?
I had sciatica when I was 17.
453
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,200
I was out of action for months.
454
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,090
I couldn't even bend over
to put my socks on.
455
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:20,960
Oh, do you know what,
you can have it.
456
00:23:28,761 --> 00:23:31,479
She just threw me a dirty look.
457
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,719
I knew this is one of the
worst ideas you've ever had.
458
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:38,480
Alison!
It's lovely to see you again!
459
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,440
You look great!
460
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:48,400
We are delighted that you two have
sorted out your wee differences.
461
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:49,520
SHE LAUGHS
462
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,920
Aren't we, Gerard?
Over the moon!
463
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,800
Every couple has differences.
464
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:58,160
There are mountains to climb, peaks
that can seem insurmountable-
465
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,360
We get the idea, Gerard.
I was very nervous.
466
00:24:00,361 --> 00:24:02,039
I was afraid you were gonna hate me.
467
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,640
So I got you a little present.
Just in case.
468
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,240
Ah!
469
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,360
It says everything, doesn't it?
470
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:14,680
A warm welcome.
Light after the darkness.
471
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,360
A love rekindled.
472
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,960
Yes, that's exactly
why I chose that.
473
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,320
THEY LAUGH
474
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,360
Oh! Thanks.
475
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:32,640
We are just so glad
to see Martin happy again.
476
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,080
He was a broken man
after you two split up.
477
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:37,600
Hardly left his house.
478
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,760
Apart from for his Tinder.
479
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:44,360
We missed you,
you were one of the family.
480
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,800
Our prodigal has returned.
481
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,760
Hi, Alison and Martin!
Mr and Mrs Dempsey!
482
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,200
What a coincidence!
483
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,240
What are you doing here?
Having a coincidence.
484
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:56,880
And I need a drink badly.
485
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,600
I can only stay for half an hour,
tops.
486
00:24:59,601 --> 00:25:03,519
I'm sleeping out tonight.
Alison said you were having trouble.
487
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,200
Didn't realise you'd spiralled.
It's for work.
488
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,720
So I'll just have this small glass
and a first course.
489
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,080
I wonder if they do the beef cheek
as a starter.
490
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:16,800
Just to get me through the night.
491
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,160
MUSIC PLAYS
492
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,840
The thing about myself and Kieran,
which is all over, by the way,
493
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:34,280
and when I say myself
I mean the bad Laura.
494
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,440
Not like this one, me,
the real one, OK?
495
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:40,520
So what we had, as wrong as it was,
496
00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:43,200
was passion.
497
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:48,560
As well as an intellectual
and emotional connection.
498
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,520
I look at relationships like...
499
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,480
And they scare me.
500
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,480
How was your creme brulee, Ma?
Shh!
501
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:00,720
Is there passion?
Honestly, is there?
502
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,840
Or are you just resigned
to live without it?
503
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:08,240
I don't really know, Laura,
but what I do know is
504
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:13,040
this morning
this fella made me come like a pig.
505
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:19,280
Katie, how's your little one?
She's 11 now. She's fantastic.
506
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:23,960
I'm exposing her to one disappointment
and let down after another at the moment,
507
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:30,200
just to help make sure she grows
into a strong, resilient, interesting woman.
508
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,680
That is the best thing you can do
for your child.
509
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,920
That and start the therapy fund,
510
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,000
which I'm gonna do tomorrow.
511
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:44,960
Most important, I try to teach her
that you don't have to follow the herd.
512
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,720
To not following the herd!
513
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,800
ALL: To not following the herd.
514
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,200
THEY LAUGH
515
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:54,320
Actually, do you know
what I'd love more than anything?
516
00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:58,200
To find someone really hot
and really available.
517
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,600
And so we'd follow the heart
together.
518
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,120
SHE SOBS
519
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:16,440
I'm joking, I'm joking!
For God's sake!
520
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,440
THEY LAUGH
What's wrong with you?
521
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,800
Ok, it's not the life I imagined
in my teenager diary.
522
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:27,240
Of course I thought
I'd be married with 4.2 kids.
523
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:28,360
Everyone does.
524
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,920
But there's loads of time.
525
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:32,480
I'm not settling,
526
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,760
and you can always freeze your eggs
as a side bet.
527
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:41,800
It's not really my cup of tea
but by the way, Mr and Mrs Dempsey,
528
00:27:41,801 --> 00:27:44,879
that doesn't mean we're gonna end up
hanging around my nephew
529
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:48,040
when he's 17
trying to fire into his mates.
530
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,440
Actually it doesn't sound too bad.
531
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,080
Let's get married.
532
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:00,290
For real?
533
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:05,320
I don't know. You up for it?
534
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:11,690
Totally!
535
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:13,680
THEY LAUGH
536
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:17,280
THEY ALL EXCLAIM
537
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,560
Congratulations.
Cheers, everybody!
538
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:21,960
I'm over the moon.
539
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,240
THEY LAUGH AND CLINK GLASSES
540
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:31,840
I'm going to go and save the world.
541
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:34,840
THEY LAUGH AND SCREAM
542
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:36,580
Think I need my bed actually.
543
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:41,320
Au revoir.
544
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:10,400
Wake up!
SHE GASPS
545
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:12,240
SHE GASPS
546
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:30,840
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
547
00:29:30,890 --> 00:29:35,440
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