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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,707 Oh, welcome back to the land of the living. 4 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,586 Was I out long? 5 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:26,796 Long enough. 6 00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:30,049 Not that it matters. 7 00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:32,718 You guys know that I always need a nap 8 00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:33,928 after a boozy brunch. 9 00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:36,180 Don't let him push your buttons. 10 00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:37,598 It's your birthday. You do whatever the fuck you want. 11 00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:39,225 Is that Adam? 12 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,227 Your man awaits. 13 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:49,902 Why are you always such trash? 14 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:51,946 What'd I do? 15 00:01:59,495 --> 00:02:00,955 You're up! 16 00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:02,414 Yeah, sorry. 17 00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:03,874 Those mimosas hit me pretty hard. 18 00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:07,795 Ah. Well, that's the cost of wild living. 19 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,840 Yeah. Not wild enough for some, apparently. 20 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,342 What do you mean? 21 00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:15,135 Zeke just keeps making these little comments 22 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,179 that suggest that he's not exactly thrilled 23 00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:18,597 with the weekend's festivities. 24 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,267 Or, you know, lack thereof. 25 00:02:21,267 --> 00:02:22,893 Whatever. 26 00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:25,521 Not everything's some big Fire Island bender. 27 00:02:26,272 --> 00:02:28,107 I mean, the whole idea that all gay getaways 28 00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:29,733 have to be substance-abusing, 29 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,610 sex-filled chaos is reductive. 30 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,490 So you're not, like, mad that there's not more to do? 31 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,742 Or that your boyfriend is sleeping the day away? 32 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:40,703 Absolutely not. 33 00:02:41,579 --> 00:02:43,998 I mean, the whole point of this vacation 34 00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:46,083 is to do absolutely nothing, right? 35 00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:52,172 Besides, when I came in earlier to check up on you, 36 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,716 you looked so cute, 37 00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:56,385 all wrapped up in your blankets. 38 00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:59,597 Snoozing to one of those stupid films that you love. 39 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:03,058 The work of Ted V. Michaels is not stupid. 40 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,728 It's just, you know, misunderstood. 41 00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:08,105 Well, not that it matters. 42 00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,732 I must have slept through the whole thing. 43 00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:11,483 When I woke up, there was just dead air. 44 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,821 Well, next time we're in the bedroom, we'll be... 45 00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:18,032 I don't know, revving things up? 46 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,668 Oh my god! 47 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,211 What the hell? 48 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,213 What the fuck? 49 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,298 Did you see? 50 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,300 See what? 51 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,760 It was watching us. 52 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,596 It? I-- What are you talking about? 53 00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:41,639 Out there. 54 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:43,933 I don't see anything. 55 00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:47,311 It-- it was there. It was. 56 00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,230 What? 57 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,984 I don't know how else to say this, but... 58 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,168 Could you say that again? 59 00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:17,174 I told you, there is a zombie outside. 60 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,177 Or at least something that looks like a zombie. 61 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:21,553 I thought you said we weren't 62 00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:22,721 bringing party drugs this weekend. 63 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:23,931 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 64 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,183 You know how that sounds, right? 65 00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:31,855 Maybe you've been watching too many of those movies. 66 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,776 Oh, okay. What actually happened? 67 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,781 Well, we were having an intimate moment. 68 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,449 An intimate moment? 69 00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:45,035 Were you two gonna fuck in the kitchen? 70 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:46,996 We make food in here. 71 00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:48,122 Zeke, it's-- 72 00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:50,374 Continue. 73 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,335 And I looked outside, 74 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,629 and there was someone out there watching us. 75 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,257 Like-- like, hardcore. 76 00:04:58,257 --> 00:05:00,551 Now, when you say "hardcore..." 77 00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:01,719 Zeke! 78 00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:05,931 I don't see anyone. 79 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,766 Well, yeah, they probably ran away 80 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,852 during all of the commotion, but there was someone out there. 81 00:05:09,852 --> 00:05:11,228 I-- I swear! 82 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,649 All right, then. 83 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,735 Let's go take a look. 84 00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,361 I'm sorry, what? 85 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:22,239 Well, as far as I know, the closest house 86 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,450 is a good mile and a half down the road, so, uh... 87 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:27,494 If someone's wandering around outside, 88 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,204 I think we should probably know. 89 00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:32,041 So you want us to go look for a peeper. 90 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:34,126 Have you watched any 91 00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:35,669 of the true crime documentaries that I recommended? 92 00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:39,006 Well, if you'd bother to take any of the CrossFit classes 93 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,674 that I recommended... 94 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:41,884 You wouldn't have anything to worry about. 95 00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:43,510 Bitch, how very dare. 96 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:47,014 If anything, I am the muscles of the group. 97 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,850 Okay, uh, are we gonna do this, or what? 98 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:59,276 I mean, i-is it too late to vote for or what? 99 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,165 Anybody see anything? 100 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,543 What if it went into the woods? 101 00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:18,670 Wouldn't be very smart. 102 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,173 Neither is assuming an intruder 103 00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:22,966 is gonna stick to the manicured parts of the lawn. 104 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,385 The only reason 105 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,428 that we were out here... 106 00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,471 What? 107 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:38,565 - What is it? - There. 108 00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:40,692 Do you see it? 109 00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,612 See what? 110 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,034 That... monster... 111 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,206 is... 112 00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:55,833 jogging? 113 00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:00,838 You made it sound like something was wrong. 114 00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:02,464 Well, there could be, 115 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,757 if he's solely relying on cardio for exercise. 116 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,175 He's such an idiot. 117 00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:09,054 Uh, hi. 118 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,722 Is everything okay? 119 00:07:11,557 --> 00:07:13,517 Fine. I think. 120 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:17,437 We are renting this house for the weekend, and, um... 121 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:21,191 my partner here, he thought he saw someone in the yard. 122 00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:22,317 Yeah. 123 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,278 You been peeping anybody's windows today? 124 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,698 - What? - Uh, what my friend here 125 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:30,075 is trying to ask is if you've seen anyone around. 126 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,161 Honestly, just you guys. 127 00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:34,288 It's pretty under-populated this time of the year. 128 00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:36,874 Yeah. We kinda noticed. 129 00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:39,001 Where did you come from? 130 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,253 Pretty far out for a run. 131 00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,380 I'm just staying at my uncle's cabin up the road. 132 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:46,133 Come here a lot in the off-season, just to chill. 133 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,802 This is the only road in and out, right? 134 00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:50,971 That's what they tell me. 135 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,681 And you're on your way back from your run. 136 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:55,142 Okay, get to the point, Angela Lansbury. 137 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,226 I am. 138 00:07:57,436 --> 00:08:00,063 Look, if this is the only road, then he had to have 139 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,691 passed the house earlier when he left for his run. 140 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,234 Yeah, I did. 141 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,403 Like a half hour ago. 142 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,322 Which is exactly around the time 143 00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,656 when Adam thought he saw someone. 144 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,325 - Okay, case closed. - Yep. 145 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:12,743 Look, Adam, you just saw 146 00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:13,785 our neighbor here getting some exercise. 147 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,954 No creepers, no zombies, 148 00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:17,623 just an afternoon run. 149 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:19,875 Zombies? 150 00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:22,044 Yeah. Look, I know the difference between-- 151 00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:24,922 Okay, there you have it. Okay, Adam, I'd say... 152 00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:28,258 you need glasses, babe, but... you already got 'em. 153 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,469 Sue your eye doctor or something. 154 00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:32,262 Now, can we please go back inside? 155 00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:34,139 There is a bottle of margarita mix 156 00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:36,642 waiting to help us all forget we wasted our time 157 00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:39,102 Scooby-Dooing around this fucking yard. 158 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,313 - Look, I just think-- - Sorry about all this, really. 159 00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:42,773 I hope you guys have a good... 160 00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,191 whatever it is that you're doing here. 161 00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:48,820 Hey, you coming? 162 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,538 Sorry. 163 00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:06,088 Okay, that is absolutely not fair. 164 00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:08,757 Bitch, I have photographic evidence, okay? 165 00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:11,677 You in a hot pink feather boa and matching pink platforms. 166 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:13,470 I would love to see that. 167 00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,847 - That can be arranged. - Under no circumstances 168 00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:18,016 are those photos exchanging hands, got it? 169 00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,601 Okay, we'll see about that. 170 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,230 And why did I not know about this? 171 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,398 It was way before your time. 172 00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:26,066 Yeah, I had just moved. 173 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,068 It-- it was my first summer in the city. 174 00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:31,697 Oh. God, everything just felt so new then. 175 00:09:31,697 --> 00:09:33,073 Yeah. 176 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,950 Well how come you guys stopped 177 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:36,410 doing all those performances? 178 00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:37,828 I mean, it sounds like it was a blast. 179 00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:39,371 Oh, I wasn't in it for the long haul. 180 00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:40,998 It was more like a weekend thing 181 00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,916 so I could cope with my awful minimum wage job. 182 00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,585 The artist life is more your boy's thing. 183 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,337 Uh... yeah, I don't know 184 00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:50,424 how much of my thing it ended up being, but thanks. 185 00:09:50,966 --> 00:09:53,218 Come on, babe, don't be so hard on yourself. 186 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:55,304 I mean, I'm not being hard on myself. 187 00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:56,930 It's just true. 188 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,307 Yeah, I have to kind of side with Ollie here. 189 00:09:58,307 --> 00:09:59,516 You've done some great stuff. 190 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,311 Yeah? Like what? 191 00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:06,440 A Fringe Fest play that tens of people saw? 192 00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,192 Or some short films that disappeared 193 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,236 as soon as the festival circuit was over? 194 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,572 I mean, hell, you're talking about our cabaret 195 00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:14,865 from back in the day, and we couldn't even 196 00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:15,949 sell those out. 197 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,327 Adam. 198 00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:19,995 No, I'm fine. It's just... 199 00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:23,707 I guess-- 200 00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:25,709 I guess I just thought I'd have made a dent by now. 201 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,837 You know, I've been doing this for years, 202 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,589 and yet I keep losing jobs to guys 203 00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:32,716 with less experience and more abs. 204 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,054 I just wish we could have had a birthday party 205 00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:38,722 where I was celebrating a win, and-- 206 00:10:40,349 --> 00:10:42,726 not just another year of me kidding myself. 207 00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:44,227 Babe, you're not kidding yourself. 208 00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:46,271 It's your dream, and it's a really hard one. 209 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,273 And as a friend, it's so inspiring to watch you 210 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,608 just keep going at it. 211 00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:52,861 I just feel like I am spinning my wheels. 212 00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:55,322 And you know the worst part? 213 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,616 It has completely zapped my creativity. I-- 214 00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:00,869 Everything I try to write down anymore just... 215 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:02,954 feels so artificial. 216 00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:06,625 Well, that can't entirely be true. 217 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,211 I'm sure something inspires you. 218 00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:13,757 Right, anyone else need a drink? 219 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:15,133 Uh, no. 220 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,428 If anything, the last few minutes have proven that 221 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,972 I should probably cut myself off and just turn in. 222 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:22,891 Yeah, same. 223 00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:26,937 I would prefer not to be super hungover tomorrow. 224 00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:29,564 Alright, boo to both of you, but I get it. 225 00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,858 I'm just gonna go pour myself another one, and 226 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,985 then go take it to my bedroom and do my nighttime reading. 227 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:36,613 - Ooh, salacious. - You know it. 228 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,323 Do you need help with him? 229 00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:42,160 Oh, fuck no. 230 00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:44,287 He drank himself into a stupor, 231 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,789 so he can lie where he lays. 232 00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:46,915 Not our problem. 233 00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:49,334 - All right. - Bye, goodnight. 234 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,836 Have a good night. 235 00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:51,962 Night, babe. Sleep tight. 236 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,213 Mm, you too. 237 00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:55,549 - Uh, hey, Louis. - What's up? 238 00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:58,385 Thank you. 239 00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:01,263 Of course, babe. Happy birthday. 240 00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:03,306 I'm sorry it's not what you want it to be, but... 241 00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:04,474 there's always next year. 242 00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,476 And look at the bright side. 243 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,687 You look amazing for 40. 244 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,523 Oh, you bitch. 245 00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:12,858 Oh, you know it. 246 00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:21,533 Well, that was a fun night. 247 00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:24,744 Nice to reminisce. 248 00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,289 Yeah. 249 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:30,500 Sorry if I got too deep. 250 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:33,295 Oh, isn't that what birthdays are for? 251 00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:35,297 Reflecting and shit? 252 00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:39,050 I guess. 253 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,098 Well, in the spirit of things, 254 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,059 if you wanna go deep another way... 255 00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,103 Really? 256 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,440 Hey, you're the writer here, okay? 257 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,733 I'm trying. 258 00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,820 And besides, that doesn't answer the question. 259 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:15,003 Can you just give me a second? 260 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,303 What's going on, Adam? 261 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,308 What do you mean? 262 00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:31,561 Do you even want to, with me? 263 00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:33,939 What? Yes, of course I do. I just-- 264 00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:37,567 just not right now. 265 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,153 I'm not in the headspace. 266 00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:43,323 When are you gonna be in the headspace, exactly? 267 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:45,992 Are you serious? Are you-- 268 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:48,453 are you getting mad at me 269 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:49,788 because I don't wanna have sex right now? 270 00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:51,998 No, this is not about the sex. 271 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,125 This is about everything. 272 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:58,171 This is about how you've been pushing me away for weeks. 273 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,257 I have not been pushing you away. 274 00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:01,550 Oh, bullshit. 275 00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:03,176 You barely touch me anymore. 276 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,013 And you treat every interaction with me 277 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,557 like it's some inconvenience. 278 00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:11,685 I mean, fuck, I tried kissing you today. 279 00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:15,063 - And I got a bloody nose for it. - That is not fair. 280 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,065 - You know that I thought I saw-- - Yeah, I remember. 281 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,574 Is being touched by me so bad 282 00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:26,992 that you have to make up monsters? 283 00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:40,463 You know, I thought that you were 284 00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,173 just having a birthday pity party. 285 00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:45,427 You were in your feelings. 286 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:47,679 It wasn't about me. 287 00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,056 No, it isn't. I... 288 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,517 It was bad enough that you eye-fucked 289 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:55,020 that jogger earlier and didn't think that I noticed. 290 00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,689 But then I had to sit there next to you 291 00:14:57,689 --> 00:15:00,483 on that couch tonight, and listen to you 292 00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,819 tell your friends about how nothing inspires you 293 00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:04,154 or excites you anymore. 294 00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:08,491 That kind of puts the writing on the wall for me, doesn't it? 295 00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:11,453 That is not what I meant. 296 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:13,747 That's how it feels. 297 00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,643 Do you even wanna be with me anymore? 298 00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:40,649 Do you even know what you want at all? 299 00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,156 - No, Ollie, I-- - Don't bother. 300 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,257 Fuck. 301 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:04,441 Great. Hello? 302 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,693 Just a minute. 303 00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:09,320 Oh, come on. 304 00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:13,032 Some of us have to piss. 305 00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:21,249 Oh. Come on. 306 00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:29,257 Hello? 307 00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:31,801 I said just a minute. 308 00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,268 Oh. Whatever. 309 00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:42,312 Oh... 310 00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:54,365 Oh, fuck... 311 00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,080 Oh. 312 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,086 Hello? 313 00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:52,942 Yeah, what am I even doing out here? 314 00:19:57,947 --> 00:20:00,867 I don't normally just meet strangers in the woods, but... 315 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:08,917 It's you. 316 00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:07,892 Adam, is that you? 317 00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:16,192 Adam! 318 00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:55,023 What? 319 00:22:01,904 --> 00:22:03,656 You know, you should be cuffed. 320 00:22:07,368 --> 00:22:08,745 Lucky for you, I don't really feel 321 00:22:08,745 --> 00:22:09,871 like being hassled right now. 322 00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:11,998 That, and I know I could 323 00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:13,791 kick your ass if you put up a fuss. 324 00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:16,919 Right. Sure. 325 00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:22,759 So you mind telling me what you were doing, 326 00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:25,762 taking a long nap in a house that doesn't belong to you? 327 00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:30,391 I don't know. 328 00:22:30,391 --> 00:22:31,434 I-- I really don't. 329 00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:34,937 "I don't know. I really don't." 330 00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:38,232 You know, I'm gonna need a little more than that. 331 00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:41,027 Not for me, because I don't really give a shit, 332 00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:43,488 but for the guys down at the station, they-- 333 00:22:43,488 --> 00:22:45,615 They will. They'll care a lot. 334 00:22:47,575 --> 00:22:48,576 You from around here? 335 00:22:49,327 --> 00:22:51,454 Uh, no, I'm-- 336 00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:56,417 I'm not even really sure where-- 337 00:22:56,417 --> 00:22:57,585 I know you. 338 00:23:00,671 --> 00:23:01,964 You do? 339 00:23:03,758 --> 00:23:06,094 You made that zombie movie up here a couple years ago. 340 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:08,805 Zombie? 341 00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:12,266 I can't believe I didn't recognize you. 342 00:23:12,266 --> 00:23:13,976 It's probably because it's dark 343 00:23:13,976 --> 00:23:16,771 and dingy in here, but yeah. You guys made that movie. 344 00:23:16,771 --> 00:23:18,856 We don't get a lot of movies that shoot around these parts, 345 00:23:18,856 --> 00:23:20,525 so I take it as my business 346 00:23:21,150 --> 00:23:24,153 to watch all of them, even the really cheesy ones. 347 00:23:25,029 --> 00:23:27,073 Yeah, this is a great location. 348 00:23:30,701 --> 00:23:33,204 You know, a lot of people got down on that movie 349 00:23:33,204 --> 00:23:34,872 because of the zombie sex. 350 00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:36,958 Not me. 351 00:23:36,958 --> 00:23:39,836 Because I knew it was for the art, right? 352 00:23:39,836 --> 00:23:42,755 And I didn't even really mind 353 00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:45,383 about that other stuff either. 354 00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:47,635 Just so you know. 355 00:23:50,138 --> 00:23:52,140 Right, yeah. Yeah. Good to know. 356 00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:56,227 Hmm. Filming a zombie movie. 357 00:23:58,187 --> 00:23:59,730 Let me see what I can do. 358 00:23:59,730 --> 00:24:01,607 And not because I'm giving you a free pass 359 00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:02,984 for what you did here tonight, 360 00:24:02,984 --> 00:24:04,861 'cause this is just kind of weird. 361 00:24:04,861 --> 00:24:07,572 Because I know that sometimes actors do... 362 00:24:08,406 --> 00:24:09,907 eccentric things. 363 00:24:10,825 --> 00:24:11,951 Don't move. 364 00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:13,452 I understand. 365 00:24:52,074 --> 00:24:53,451 - Ben! - Huh? 366 00:24:54,911 --> 00:24:55,953 Ben Baur. 367 00:24:56,621 --> 00:24:57,663 That's your name, right? 368 00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:03,628 I gotta admit, I looked it up on IMDB when I was in the car. 369 00:25:04,295 --> 00:25:05,963 Y-- Yeah, that's my name. 370 00:25:05,963 --> 00:25:07,048 You're actor Ben Baur. 371 00:25:07,757 --> 00:25:10,301 Look, I made a call. 372 00:25:10,301 --> 00:25:11,886 I talked to the owners of the house. 373 00:25:12,470 --> 00:25:14,180 They're not gonna press charges. 374 00:25:15,389 --> 00:25:18,267 But they strongly inferred that they'd like you 375 00:25:18,267 --> 00:25:19,810 to not do this again. 376 00:25:21,187 --> 00:25:22,188 Okay? 377 00:25:22,980 --> 00:25:25,233 So if you ever get the urge to come up here 378 00:25:25,233 --> 00:25:27,568 and, you know, sleep in somebody else's house, 379 00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:29,570 maybe don't. 380 00:25:30,404 --> 00:25:32,198 Right. O-- Okay. 381 00:25:32,782 --> 00:25:34,951 All right, well, how'd you get up here? 382 00:25:38,329 --> 00:25:39,372 I... 383 00:25:41,249 --> 00:25:43,209 I-- I don't actually know. 384 00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:44,877 Oh, Jesus Christ. 385 00:25:45,795 --> 00:25:47,838 Actors and drugs. 386 00:25:49,507 --> 00:25:50,716 Do you have somebody you could call? 387 00:25:58,266 --> 00:26:00,643 Do you think the owners would mind if I used their phone? 388 00:26:01,602 --> 00:26:03,229 I understand that, Officer. 389 00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:04,438 Thank you, again. 390 00:26:06,691 --> 00:26:08,609 Look, it may not be my place to say, 391 00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,988 and I don't know if this is patterned behavior or what, 392 00:26:13,155 --> 00:26:16,575 but you might wanna talk to your friend about therapy... 393 00:26:17,618 --> 00:26:19,704 something, maybe rehab. 394 00:26:20,955 --> 00:26:22,498 I'll definitely keep that in mind. 395 00:26:44,228 --> 00:26:46,897 Look, I'm just gonna ask you this straight up, 396 00:26:46,897 --> 00:26:48,274 with zero judgment. 397 00:26:50,026 --> 00:26:51,068 Are you okay? 398 00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:55,573 I think so. 399 00:26:57,241 --> 00:27:00,453 Okay, but, like, you're fine? 400 00:27:01,162 --> 00:27:03,748 Like, you're not hurt or sick or anything? 401 00:27:06,751 --> 00:27:07,793 Yes, I mean, 402 00:27:08,794 --> 00:27:10,129 I-- I feel fine. 403 00:27:12,590 --> 00:27:13,632 Okay. 404 00:27:14,383 --> 00:27:15,426 Okay. 405 00:27:16,344 --> 00:27:18,262 In that case... 406 00:27:18,262 --> 00:27:20,473 What in the actual fuck, Ben? 407 00:27:20,473 --> 00:27:22,683 I thought you said there was gonna be zero judgment. 408 00:27:22,683 --> 00:27:25,144 Well, that was before you declared you were fine. 409 00:27:25,603 --> 00:27:27,021 I meant physically. 410 00:27:27,021 --> 00:27:28,522 Obviously, I am not fine. 411 00:27:28,522 --> 00:27:31,108 I-- I don't know what the fuck is happening. 412 00:27:31,859 --> 00:27:33,235 It's 4:00 a.m. 413 00:27:33,235 --> 00:27:35,071 It took me two and a half hours 414 00:27:35,071 --> 00:27:37,406 to get down here from Los Angeles. 415 00:27:37,406 --> 00:27:39,617 The sun will be up before we get home. 416 00:27:41,786 --> 00:27:43,704 You better start figuring it out, Ben, 417 00:27:43,704 --> 00:27:47,458 because I'm gonna need some kind of explanation. 418 00:27:47,458 --> 00:27:49,335 I told you, I don't know. 419 00:27:50,252 --> 00:27:52,254 I-- Whenever I try to concentrate, 420 00:27:52,254 --> 00:27:53,297 to remember, 421 00:27:54,048 --> 00:27:55,758 it's just like static in my head. 422 00:27:56,842 --> 00:27:58,552 Yeah, that's not concerning at all. 423 00:28:00,763 --> 00:28:02,973 Look, I haven't heard from you in weeks. 424 00:28:04,433 --> 00:28:06,268 That-- that can't be true. 425 00:28:08,145 --> 00:28:10,481 Look, I can only speak for myself, 426 00:28:10,481 --> 00:28:12,900 but when my best friend goes radio silent 427 00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:14,485 for almost a month, 428 00:28:14,985 --> 00:28:17,279 - I would tend to notice. - I didn't realize. 429 00:28:17,279 --> 00:28:19,990 So you can imagine my feelings when this, 430 00:28:19,990 --> 00:28:22,660 of all calls, is the one to break the silence. 431 00:28:23,244 --> 00:28:25,246 Last time we talked, you were hyped up 432 00:28:25,246 --> 00:28:28,499 about a big audition you had, and then, nothing. 433 00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,710 Have you become that much of an actor 434 00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:34,296 that normal engagement is just too much for you? 435 00:28:36,298 --> 00:28:37,341 Audition? 436 00:28:38,968 --> 00:28:41,011 Yeah, I said other words in there, too. 437 00:28:45,808 --> 00:28:47,643 I'm not gonna bust your balls, 438 00:28:47,643 --> 00:28:49,937 because clearly you're going through something right now, 439 00:28:50,479 --> 00:28:51,480 and I care about you. 440 00:28:52,148 --> 00:28:54,525 But this one-sided stuff is just not okay. 441 00:28:57,111 --> 00:28:59,155 I-- I get it. I do. 442 00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:03,784 Mm-hmm. 443 00:29:08,539 --> 00:29:10,458 You seriously can't remember anything? 444 00:29:14,962 --> 00:29:18,841 All I recall is that I was at home watching a movie, 445 00:29:24,972 --> 00:29:26,557 and then the next thing I know, 446 00:29:26,557 --> 00:29:28,934 I-- I'm being woken up by the police officer 447 00:29:28,934 --> 00:29:30,060 in that house. 448 00:29:31,645 --> 00:29:32,688 Okay, wait. 449 00:29:33,397 --> 00:29:35,274 So, you're chilling, 450 00:29:35,274 --> 00:29:36,317 watching a flick, 451 00:29:36,984 --> 00:29:39,153 and the next thing you know, you've B&E'd into a house 452 00:29:39,153 --> 00:29:40,946 you shot at five years ago? 453 00:29:40,946 --> 00:29:42,281 Was that five years ago? 454 00:29:42,990 --> 00:29:44,825 Are you sure you're not taking anything? 455 00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:47,953 As far as I know. 456 00:29:50,498 --> 00:29:53,751 Look, clearly we're not gonna solve anything tonight. 457 00:29:55,419 --> 00:29:58,506 But next time you decide to go on a vision quest 458 00:29:58,506 --> 00:30:01,800 and break into one of your old filming locations, 459 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,303 maybe pick a place up the street, 460 00:30:04,303 --> 00:30:06,013 where we shot the web series, 461 00:30:06,013 --> 00:30:08,516 and not some place that requires two highway exchanges 462 00:30:08,516 --> 00:30:11,435 and a rural access code to get to, okay? 463 00:30:12,394 --> 00:30:14,480 I'll-- I'll try my best. 464 00:30:16,607 --> 00:30:19,026 Oh, speaking of the bumfuck remoteness of it all, 465 00:30:19,401 --> 00:30:21,487 how did the people who own the house know you were there? 466 00:30:21,904 --> 00:30:25,199 Oh, uh, apparently they have cameras all over the house. 467 00:30:26,033 --> 00:30:28,661 God, you can't trust anyone these days. 468 00:30:29,578 --> 00:30:30,621 No. 469 00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:33,874 You can't. 470 00:31:13,539 --> 00:31:15,457 You sure you're gonna be okay by yourself? 471 00:31:17,710 --> 00:31:18,752 I think so. 472 00:31:20,129 --> 00:31:21,880 All right. 473 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,509 But to be clear, we are not done talking about all this. 474 00:31:26,677 --> 00:31:28,846 I just need to get some serious sleep first. 475 00:31:29,805 --> 00:31:31,181 Yeah, for sure, you should-- 476 00:31:32,433 --> 00:31:33,475 You should go do that. 477 00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:37,313 Okay, then. 478 00:31:42,192 --> 00:31:43,777 I'll be fine, really. 479 00:31:45,112 --> 00:31:46,322 Can you say that for sure? 480 00:31:49,408 --> 00:31:50,451 Can anyone? 481 00:31:52,453 --> 00:31:54,538 Well, with that cheerful thought. 482 00:31:55,205 --> 00:31:57,041 Hey, Taryn? 483 00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,293 Hmm? 484 00:32:01,670 --> 00:32:02,713 Thank you. 485 00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:06,425 Oh, you will definitely be thanking me over the course 486 00:32:06,425 --> 00:32:10,262 of several dinners that you will definitely be paying for. 487 00:32:13,891 --> 00:32:14,933 Love you. 488 00:32:15,351 --> 00:32:16,393 You, too. 489 00:33:56,702 --> 00:33:58,829 - Hello? - You broke into a house? 490 00:33:59,496 --> 00:34:02,040 Do you understand what a PR disaster that is? 491 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,584 Or rather, would be, if anyone 492 00:34:03,584 --> 00:34:05,043 was actually paying any attention? 493 00:34:05,753 --> 00:34:07,546 Our client list is small, 494 00:34:07,546 --> 00:34:10,048 and we can't be personally invested in behavior 495 00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:12,009 that is harmful to the brand. 496 00:34:12,009 --> 00:34:13,427 Uh, personally invested? 497 00:34:13,969 --> 00:34:16,305 I haven't heard from you guys in weeks. 498 00:34:16,305 --> 00:34:19,099 That's not true. I sent you on that audition. 499 00:34:19,099 --> 00:34:20,809 A month ago. 500 00:34:20,809 --> 00:34:23,061 Uh, and it was very clear that they didn't want anyone 501 00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:24,438 who read as gay. 502 00:34:24,438 --> 00:34:25,689 That's your problem. 503 00:34:26,190 --> 00:34:27,399 I get you the appointment. 504 00:34:27,900 --> 00:34:29,818 You're the one that has to show up and act. 505 00:34:29,818 --> 00:34:32,279 If they don't want something, don't give it to them. 506 00:34:32,738 --> 00:34:35,491 Okay, but that's one of the things I bring to the table. 507 00:34:35,491 --> 00:34:38,160 I-- I want to be making queer art. 508 00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:39,661 Yeah, so you said. 509 00:34:39,661 --> 00:34:42,539 Your generation, and your message movies. 510 00:34:42,539 --> 00:34:45,417 Don't think I don't get it, but that's not the biz. 511 00:34:45,417 --> 00:34:47,920 You wanna sell tickets, you have to go broad. 512 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:49,713 Otherwise, you're going to be stuck with 513 00:34:49,713 --> 00:34:52,090 web series and indie movies. 514 00:34:52,090 --> 00:34:54,218 And let's face it, you haven't exactly 515 00:34:54,218 --> 00:34:56,386 booked any of those lately, either. 516 00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:58,388 Okay, so-- 517 00:34:59,848 --> 00:35:01,558 so, what can we do? 518 00:35:01,558 --> 00:35:03,227 We are not going to do anything. 519 00:35:04,311 --> 00:35:06,688 In case I haven't made myself entirely clear, 520 00:35:07,481 --> 00:35:08,732 I can't rep you anymore. 521 00:35:09,274 --> 00:35:10,818 You're dropping me? 522 00:35:10,818 --> 00:35:12,319 Come on, kid. 523 00:35:12,319 --> 00:35:14,404 You haven't landed a gig in forever, 524 00:35:14,404 --> 00:35:17,616 which already put you in a tenuous position on our roster. 525 00:35:18,075 --> 00:35:20,536 And now with the hijinks last night, 526 00:35:20,536 --> 00:35:23,247 well, it's not exactly like you're a winning bet. 527 00:35:23,247 --> 00:35:25,082 I don't fucking believe this shit. 528 00:35:25,499 --> 00:35:27,417 You knew what kind of movies I wanted to make, 529 00:35:27,417 --> 00:35:30,212 and you didn't even try to find projects that were a match. 530 00:35:30,921 --> 00:35:33,340 Yeah? Well, have you ever considered 531 00:35:33,340 --> 00:35:35,843 that you were maybe being unrealistic? 532 00:35:35,843 --> 00:35:37,636 Actors don't have the luxury of getting 533 00:35:37,636 --> 00:35:39,137 to pick their own identity. 534 00:35:39,763 --> 00:35:42,015 Other people tell you who you are, 535 00:35:42,015 --> 00:35:45,102 and you graciously smile, and take the paycheck. 536 00:36:14,882 --> 00:36:16,466 Hey, this is Taryn. 537 00:36:16,466 --> 00:36:17,885 Sorry I can't answer your-- 538 00:37:24,034 --> 00:37:25,702 I mean, you do have those movies 539 00:37:25,702 --> 00:37:27,329 like Shaun of the Dead, where you do have 540 00:37:27,329 --> 00:37:29,373 a semi-happy ending to a zombie movie, 541 00:37:29,373 --> 00:37:32,834 but I'm just saying that it seems like a losing proposition. 542 00:37:32,834 --> 00:37:34,753 Okay, but in the spirit of our show, I have to ask, 543 00:37:34,753 --> 00:37:37,005 is there a proper way to survive a zombie movie? 544 00:37:37,798 --> 00:37:39,716 I think it depends on the kind of zombie. 545 00:37:39,716 --> 00:37:41,259 Are we talking voodoo zombies 546 00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:43,470 or, like, brain munch, munch zombies? 547 00:37:43,470 --> 00:37:45,973 It's a very, very important distinction. 548 00:37:46,515 --> 00:37:48,350 Okay, so, uh, for argument's sake, 549 00:37:48,350 --> 00:37:50,268 let's go for the classic Romero-style, 550 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:52,270 although we have to point out for our horror hounds 551 00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:54,606 that it isn't actually a zombie in Night of the Living Dead, 552 00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:56,650 it is a ghoul, so let's just make that clear. 553 00:37:56,650 --> 00:37:58,694 The ghouls. See, it's a classic ghoul. 554 00:37:58,694 --> 00:38:00,320 Okay, sure, sure, sure. I'll bite. 555 00:38:03,573 --> 00:38:05,283 You know, I gotta bring the puns, all right? 556 00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:06,702 - So, thank you so much. - Nice. 557 00:38:06,702 --> 00:38:08,245 But how do you survive? 558 00:38:08,245 --> 00:38:09,997 I mean, like, honestly, you don't. 559 00:38:48,577 --> 00:38:49,619 Ben? 560 00:38:50,287 --> 00:38:51,329 I thought that was you. 561 00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,044 Is everything okay? 562 00:38:58,211 --> 00:39:00,297 Is it-- is it really you? 563 00:39:01,590 --> 00:39:03,425 Yeah, it's really me, buddy. 564 00:39:14,186 --> 00:39:15,228 Is something going on? 565 00:39:18,190 --> 00:39:19,357 I-- I don't know. I-- 566 00:39:20,317 --> 00:39:21,318 I really don't know. 567 00:39:22,611 --> 00:39:23,653 That's fair. 568 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,240 You wanna go somewhere, and talk about it? 569 00:39:28,116 --> 00:39:29,159 Maybe grab a drink? 570 00:39:31,912 --> 00:39:34,748 Isn't it-- Isn't it a bit early? 571 00:39:34,748 --> 00:39:35,791 It's Hollywood. 572 00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:38,001 And we're gay. 573 00:39:38,919 --> 00:39:41,880 So... what do you say? 574 00:39:46,593 --> 00:39:49,012 So I said, "If you're getting YouTube numbers, 575 00:39:49,012 --> 00:39:51,098 then I'm gonna need some YouTube money." 576 00:39:53,433 --> 00:39:54,559 And then they caved. 577 00:39:56,978 --> 00:39:59,106 I'm gonna be honest, I don't know what any of that means. 578 00:40:00,065 --> 00:40:01,316 Neither do I. 579 00:40:01,316 --> 00:40:03,401 But it worked, 580 00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:06,947 and it got me the down payment for my brand new car, so... 581 00:40:06,947 --> 00:40:08,323 Well, cheers to that. 582 00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:14,663 So, what about you? Are you working on anything? 583 00:40:17,791 --> 00:40:19,042 Not really. 584 00:40:19,668 --> 00:40:21,962 I don't even really know what I'm doing anymore, to be honest. 585 00:40:22,963 --> 00:40:25,048 Is that the reason why you went all Lifetime Original 586 00:40:25,048 --> 00:40:26,133 out on the street? 587 00:40:27,384 --> 00:40:28,510 I guess. 588 00:40:28,510 --> 00:40:29,553 Kinda. 589 00:40:30,637 --> 00:40:32,514 Look, dude, I get it. 590 00:40:34,141 --> 00:40:37,144 But... isn't this the life that we chose? 591 00:40:38,436 --> 00:40:42,023 This business is just one big existential crisis. 592 00:40:45,277 --> 00:40:46,319 Maybe it isn't, though. 593 00:40:47,946 --> 00:40:49,281 Maybe it's just the truth. 594 00:40:51,575 --> 00:40:52,993 We have a whole city of people 595 00:40:52,993 --> 00:40:55,453 who take playing pretend very seriously, 596 00:40:55,453 --> 00:40:58,039 and maybe that's because we know 597 00:40:58,039 --> 00:41:00,125 that the pretend is the only thing that's real. 598 00:41:01,001 --> 00:41:03,253 Well, I mean, obviously, there's always truth in art. 599 00:41:03,253 --> 00:41:04,838 No, that's not what I mean. 600 00:41:04,838 --> 00:41:06,548 I'm not talking about finding the truth in art, 601 00:41:06,548 --> 00:41:08,008 but what if art is the truth? 602 00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:16,516 Do you ever think about it? 603 00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:20,228 That-- that movie we made, I mean, the one with the-- 604 00:41:21,563 --> 00:41:23,690 - with the zombie. - Oh, that movie? 605 00:41:24,691 --> 00:41:26,359 Sometimes, yeah. 606 00:41:26,359 --> 00:41:28,069 I mean, that was such a fun summer. 607 00:41:28,945 --> 00:41:30,614 Do you wanna know what was wild? 608 00:41:30,614 --> 00:41:33,200 My character in that wasn't even supposed to have a name. 609 00:41:33,783 --> 00:41:37,621 But my reps threw a fit, mainly because they wanted more money. 610 00:41:37,621 --> 00:41:39,497 But that's why, if you remember in the script, 611 00:41:39,497 --> 00:41:44,211 they had "Hot Jogger" crossed out, and "Dylan" written in. 612 00:41:45,045 --> 00:41:47,964 They were so cheap, they didn't even update the draft. 613 00:41:50,175 --> 00:41:51,551 I guess I didn't realize that. 614 00:41:53,428 --> 00:41:54,429 Did you care? 615 00:41:55,138 --> 00:41:56,514 Not really. 616 00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:58,308 I mean, my character was only there 617 00:41:58,308 --> 00:42:00,435 to be the conduit to your character's break with reality. 618 00:42:01,853 --> 00:42:02,896 I think. 619 00:42:03,730 --> 00:42:06,733 To be honest, I never fully really understood 620 00:42:06,733 --> 00:42:07,776 what was going on in that. 621 00:42:08,610 --> 00:42:10,487 And I never bothered to ask Michael. 622 00:42:13,782 --> 00:42:14,824 Michael? 623 00:42:15,158 --> 00:42:16,201 Varrati. 624 00:42:17,244 --> 00:42:18,370 The writer and the director. 625 00:42:19,412 --> 00:42:21,665 Didn't you guys make, like, a bunch of movies together? 626 00:42:23,124 --> 00:42:25,168 Right, yeah. Of-- of course. 627 00:42:26,586 --> 00:42:28,088 Yeah, day drinking. 628 00:42:28,088 --> 00:42:29,422 I hear that. 629 00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:35,762 What made you think of that one? 630 00:42:38,348 --> 00:42:40,850 I guess it's just been on my mind a lot lately. 631 00:42:41,851 --> 00:42:43,270 I don't know why. 632 00:42:43,270 --> 00:42:45,272 It was fun, but it was definitely niche. 633 00:42:45,272 --> 00:42:47,107 It was too queer for horror fans, 634 00:42:47,107 --> 00:42:49,067 and too horror for queer fans. 635 00:42:49,693 --> 00:42:51,403 But what do I know? 636 00:42:51,403 --> 00:42:53,280 Maybe it'll be one of those rediscovered classics. 637 00:42:57,117 --> 00:43:00,245 Yeah, but what if all of that is just irrelevant? 638 00:43:01,329 --> 00:43:02,914 It-- 639 00:43:02,914 --> 00:43:04,499 We're talking about it like it fits in some box, 640 00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:06,418 but what if the box doesn't actually exist? 641 00:43:07,502 --> 00:43:08,545 I don't follow. 642 00:43:11,047 --> 00:43:12,090 What if-- 643 00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:15,427 what if it's not just a movie? 644 00:43:16,344 --> 00:43:17,387 What do you mean? 645 00:43:18,805 --> 00:43:20,223 In the story, the zombie showed up 646 00:43:20,223 --> 00:43:21,891 when we were all commiserating failure. 647 00:43:21,891 --> 00:43:24,227 What-- What if that was more than just symbolic? 648 00:43:25,979 --> 00:43:27,439 Ben, I'm not sure I really-- 649 00:43:27,439 --> 00:43:29,149 What if when we uncover the truth in art, 650 00:43:29,149 --> 00:43:32,110 even if unintentionally, we can't deny that it's there? 651 00:43:35,405 --> 00:43:37,574 I'm not really digging this conversation. 652 00:43:39,075 --> 00:43:40,285 I've been seeing it, Danny. 653 00:43:40,827 --> 00:43:41,870 Seeing what? 654 00:43:44,456 --> 00:43:45,540 The zombie. 655 00:43:46,041 --> 00:43:47,334 It's-- It's not just in the movie. 656 00:43:47,334 --> 00:43:49,419 What? Do you hear yourself? 657 00:43:49,419 --> 00:43:50,837 Look, I am telling you because you were there. 658 00:43:51,713 --> 00:43:55,925 Hell, I probably ran into you because it was meant to be. 659 00:43:55,925 --> 00:43:57,385 Uh, because you were a part of it. 660 00:43:58,094 --> 00:43:59,763 No one else would believe me. 661 00:43:59,763 --> 00:44:01,222 I don't believe you. 662 00:44:01,222 --> 00:44:03,099 Look, I don't fully understand myself, 663 00:44:03,099 --> 00:44:05,643 but somehow, some way, parts of the movie are coming true. 664 00:44:06,603 --> 00:44:08,480 I-- I woke up in the house. 665 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:10,190 And I'm seeing the zombie everywhere. 666 00:44:10,190 --> 00:44:11,316 Ben! 667 00:44:11,316 --> 00:44:13,651 Zombies aren't real. 668 00:44:14,069 --> 00:44:15,653 The movie isn't real. 669 00:44:16,946 --> 00:44:17,989 No? 670 00:44:20,241 --> 00:44:22,744 Then why has it been standing outside watching us 671 00:44:22,744 --> 00:44:24,245 this entire time? 672 00:44:39,177 --> 00:44:40,220 Do you see what I mean? 673 00:44:44,182 --> 00:44:45,600 - I gotta go. - No, Danny! 674 00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,685 No. We're done. 675 00:44:48,812 --> 00:44:49,938 It was nice seeing you, Ben. 676 00:44:54,275 --> 00:44:56,569 Hey, uh, sir, is-- is everything okay? 677 00:44:56,569 --> 00:44:57,904 Because I couldn't help but overhear that-- 678 00:44:57,904 --> 00:44:58,947 I'm-- I'm fine. 679 00:45:01,408 --> 00:45:02,450 Everything's fine. 680 00:45:03,785 --> 00:45:04,828 Um... 681 00:45:23,263 --> 00:45:25,265 Handmade belts! 682 00:45:25,265 --> 00:45:27,100 Hey, it's Michael Varrati. 683 00:45:27,100 --> 00:45:28,560 Unfortunately, I can't take your call right now, 684 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:29,519 but if you wanna leave a message-- 685 00:45:51,708 --> 00:45:52,876 Hey, it's me. 686 00:45:53,668 --> 00:45:56,171 Not to be nosy, but a friend of mine from improv 687 00:45:56,171 --> 00:45:58,381 said that she thought she saw you at some restaurant 688 00:45:58,381 --> 00:46:00,049 in the valley, causing a scene today. 689 00:46:00,884 --> 00:46:04,053 Maybe it wasn't you, but, like, just for-- 690 00:47:46,698 --> 00:47:49,075 Everyone agrees that death is hard, 691 00:47:49,075 --> 00:47:52,912 but this next film really redefines what that means. 692 00:47:52,912 --> 00:47:55,582 From writer-director Michael Varrati, 693 00:47:55,582 --> 00:47:57,917 this tale of necrotic neuroses 694 00:47:57,917 --> 00:48:00,545 has left fright fans divided. 695 00:48:00,962 --> 00:48:02,463 Whether this movie has something to say 696 00:48:02,463 --> 00:48:04,257 or just something to spray, 697 00:48:04,257 --> 00:48:05,967 one thing's for sure. 698 00:48:05,967 --> 00:48:09,387 There's A Zombie Outside has bared its teeth gaily. 699 00:48:12,140 --> 00:48:14,559 Telling the story of man who believes 700 00:48:14,559 --> 00:48:17,854 he's being stalked by a living dead creature. 701 00:48:18,396 --> 00:48:20,273 I don't know about you, 702 00:48:20,273 --> 00:48:22,567 but I don't really get what he's complaining about. 703 00:48:22,567 --> 00:48:26,779 Silent, strong, and only paying attention to me? 704 00:49:07,362 --> 00:49:09,197 Hey, it's Michael Varrati. 705 00:49:09,197 --> 00:49:10,657 Unfortunately, I can't take your call right now, 706 00:49:10,657 --> 00:49:11,866 but if you wanna leave a message-- 707 00:49:29,967 --> 00:49:31,844 Whatever you do, keep that door closed. 708 00:49:34,180 --> 00:49:35,348 It's too late. 709 00:49:37,433 --> 00:49:38,559 What? 710 00:49:38,559 --> 00:49:40,603 I let the zombie inside. 711 00:49:40,603 --> 00:49:41,646 What? 712 00:49:53,574 --> 00:49:55,410 Whatever you do, keep that door closed. 713 00:49:57,995 --> 00:49:59,163 It's too late. 714 00:50:01,165 --> 00:50:02,500 What? 715 00:50:02,500 --> 00:50:04,752 I let the zombie inside. 716 00:50:04,752 --> 00:50:05,920 What? 717 00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:40,718 Not here. 718 00:53:45,139 --> 00:53:48,100 Do you hear me? Not here. 719 00:54:13,334 --> 00:54:16,128 Is there a reason you haven't been answering any of my calls? 720 00:54:16,128 --> 00:54:18,798 - I've been busy. - No one's that busy. 721 00:54:18,798 --> 00:54:21,092 And I'm actually not calling to gossip about boys. 722 00:54:21,092 --> 00:54:23,886 I'm actually worried about-- Jesus Christ, Ben. 723 00:54:23,886 --> 00:54:25,513 This place is a wreck! 724 00:54:26,472 --> 00:54:28,683 When's the last time you left the apartment? 725 00:54:29,266 --> 00:54:30,810 Why are you here? 726 00:54:30,810 --> 00:54:32,853 And how did you get into my building, anyway? 727 00:54:32,853 --> 00:54:35,231 Okay, first off, your doorman can't resist 728 00:54:35,231 --> 00:54:37,358 a little va-va-voom. 729 00:54:37,358 --> 00:54:40,152 And second, I'm here because the last time 730 00:54:40,152 --> 00:54:42,363 you didn't answer any of my calls for a spell, 731 00:54:42,363 --> 00:54:45,282 I had to cross over two counties in the middle of the night 732 00:54:45,282 --> 00:54:47,451 - to come get you. - Well... 733 00:54:50,705 --> 00:54:52,164 I'm-- I'm fine. 734 00:54:53,416 --> 00:54:56,377 This does not look fine to me. 735 00:54:56,377 --> 00:54:57,503 What are you doing? 736 00:54:58,879 --> 00:55:01,007 Something is up, and I'm not leaving here 737 00:55:01,007 --> 00:55:02,466 until I get some answers. 738 00:55:02,466 --> 00:55:04,677 I don't like this. Any of it. 739 00:55:05,469 --> 00:55:06,929 Don't take this the wrong way, 740 00:55:06,929 --> 00:55:08,472 but none of this is your concern. 741 00:55:08,472 --> 00:55:10,558 Oh, you've made that abundantly clear. 742 00:55:11,767 --> 00:55:13,352 What is that supposed to mean? 743 00:55:13,352 --> 00:55:17,481 It means, this is some fairly standard bullshit. 744 00:55:17,481 --> 00:55:20,359 You're not the main character in everyone's life, Ben. 745 00:55:21,110 --> 00:55:25,156 I have things that happen to me that matter outside of you. 746 00:55:25,156 --> 00:55:28,576 So when you relegate me to some one-dimensional role, 747 00:55:28,576 --> 00:55:30,494 it's fucking frustrating. 748 00:55:30,494 --> 00:55:33,205 And when you're getting objectively worse... 749 00:55:34,749 --> 00:55:36,250 It also makes me feel like 750 00:55:36,250 --> 00:55:38,294 I'm not even doing one dimension right. 751 00:55:40,046 --> 00:55:41,797 What? I-- 752 00:55:41,797 --> 00:55:45,176 You are the one who was insisting on inserting yourself. 753 00:55:45,176 --> 00:55:47,720 Because you got me involved in the first place! 754 00:55:49,722 --> 00:55:53,392 Now, what the fuck is going on with you? 755 00:55:59,857 --> 00:56:01,901 I don't really know how to explain it. 756 00:56:04,653 --> 00:56:05,780 Well, try. 757 00:56:06,947 --> 00:56:11,077 And maybe let's start with why you've locked yourself in here. 758 00:56:16,457 --> 00:56:17,875 Because it's out there. 759 00:56:19,919 --> 00:56:20,961 "It"? 760 00:56:23,964 --> 00:56:26,300 The zombie. 761 00:56:27,301 --> 00:56:28,344 I'm sorry, what? 762 00:56:29,053 --> 00:56:32,056 The zombie? What, like the one from your movie? 763 00:56:32,056 --> 00:56:33,349 Yes! 764 00:56:34,683 --> 00:56:38,187 At least that's what it seemed like initially, anyway. 765 00:56:38,187 --> 00:56:40,397 You're not making any sense. 766 00:56:40,397 --> 00:56:42,942 It didn't make any sense to me either, but-- 767 00:56:42,942 --> 00:56:46,028 but since that night, I see it everywhere. 768 00:56:46,028 --> 00:56:47,947 That night? At the cabin? 769 00:56:49,573 --> 00:56:51,617 At first, I didn't understand it. 770 00:56:51,617 --> 00:56:53,577 So I started poring over 771 00:56:53,577 --> 00:56:55,412 everything I could find about the film. 772 00:56:55,412 --> 00:56:58,249 I-- I thought maybe there was something buried out there 773 00:56:58,249 --> 00:56:59,500 that I was missing, but... 774 00:57:00,751 --> 00:57:03,963 the deeper I got, the farther from me it seemed. 775 00:57:04,922 --> 00:57:07,925 This is all about a movie you made five years ago? 776 00:57:07,925 --> 00:57:09,844 But did I? 777 00:57:09,844 --> 00:57:12,012 I-- I remember it, but-- 778 00:57:12,972 --> 00:57:14,557 but I don't. 779 00:57:14,557 --> 00:57:16,767 Almost like it happened to someone else. 780 00:57:18,269 --> 00:57:20,896 Sweetie, it's called acting. 781 00:57:20,896 --> 00:57:23,858 No! God, you don't get it! 782 00:57:24,733 --> 00:57:26,652 This. This. 783 00:57:29,196 --> 00:57:31,282 This feels true. 784 00:57:33,075 --> 00:57:35,077 And I think that's why the zombie is here, 785 00:57:35,077 --> 00:57:36,745 because this is the answer. 786 00:57:38,038 --> 00:57:41,625 And that's why you broke into the cabin the other night? I-- 787 00:57:41,625 --> 00:57:43,460 But what if I didn't break in at all? 788 00:57:45,045 --> 00:57:47,381 Remember, I don't know how I got there. 789 00:57:47,381 --> 00:57:50,676 There was no vehicle or means for arrival. 790 00:57:52,344 --> 00:57:53,762 What if I didn't break in? 791 00:57:55,181 --> 00:57:56,682 What if I was there because... 792 00:57:58,184 --> 00:57:59,393 that's where I start? 793 00:58:00,728 --> 00:58:03,355 I-- I don't understand. 794 00:58:03,355 --> 00:58:05,482 God, don't you see? The movie is us! 795 00:58:07,276 --> 00:58:09,320 Ben, let me go. 796 00:58:10,196 --> 00:58:12,615 It is the only thing that makes sense. 797 00:58:12,615 --> 00:58:14,992 How else could it be everywhere that I am? 798 00:58:14,992 --> 00:58:16,327 The movie never ended. 799 00:58:17,161 --> 00:58:19,205 We're still in it. 800 00:58:19,205 --> 00:58:21,665 You know that doesn't make any sense. 801 00:58:21,665 --> 00:58:23,792 I-- I wasn't in that movie. 802 00:58:23,792 --> 00:58:25,252 We all are... 803 00:58:27,379 --> 00:58:28,422 eventually. 804 00:58:30,466 --> 00:58:31,508 Ben! 805 00:58:32,468 --> 00:58:33,761 Your arms. 806 00:58:36,513 --> 00:58:38,057 What have you done to yourself? 807 00:58:38,057 --> 00:58:40,100 I know what it looks like, but... 808 00:58:40,935 --> 00:58:42,478 I had to know. 809 00:58:43,687 --> 00:58:44,730 What do you mean? 810 00:58:48,234 --> 00:58:49,401 I didn't feel it. 811 00:58:50,361 --> 00:58:52,863 I-- I should've been able to feel it. 812 00:58:52,863 --> 00:58:54,073 That is the proof. 813 00:58:59,828 --> 00:59:01,956 We need to stop the zombie, Taryn. 814 00:59:04,458 --> 00:59:06,001 We need to finish the movie. 815 00:59:11,423 --> 00:59:12,466 Okay. 816 00:59:14,510 --> 00:59:15,552 What? 817 00:59:17,388 --> 00:59:18,597 I said okay. 818 00:59:19,765 --> 00:59:21,517 I'll help you stop the zombie. 819 00:59:23,143 --> 00:59:25,938 You will? You-- you believe me? 820 00:59:26,605 --> 00:59:28,274 I believe that you believe it. 821 00:59:29,066 --> 00:59:30,150 And that's a start. 822 00:59:31,652 --> 00:59:32,695 Yeah. 823 00:59:33,612 --> 00:59:34,655 Right. 824 00:59:35,906 --> 00:59:37,032 Okay. Uh... 825 00:59:38,075 --> 00:59:39,952 I know that this is a lot to take in, 826 00:59:39,952 --> 00:59:43,622 so we should probably start by just going over everything. 827 00:59:44,415 --> 00:59:46,542 Have you actually seen the film? 828 00:59:46,542 --> 00:59:49,211 - I have a DVD of it-- - Actually, 829 00:59:49,211 --> 00:59:51,922 we should start by cleaning those arms up. 830 00:59:51,922 --> 00:59:54,800 You're not fighting anything, dead or otherwise, 831 00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:57,720 - if you get an infection. - No. 832 00:59:57,720 --> 01:00:02,433 uh, do you have alcohol or hydrogen peroxide or something? 833 01:00:02,433 --> 01:00:05,769 - Uh, maybe in the bathroom? - Great. 834 01:00:05,769 --> 01:00:09,106 I'll get that, and you get the DVD started, okay? 835 01:00:09,106 --> 01:00:11,567 Right. 836 01:00:12,526 --> 01:00:13,694 On it. 837 01:00:33,172 --> 01:00:34,214 Yes, hello? 838 01:00:36,550 --> 01:00:38,802 I don't know if this counts as an emergency. 839 01:01:09,249 --> 01:01:10,918 I'm with my friend, and... 840 01:01:12,378 --> 01:01:14,505 I think he might be a danger to himself. 841 01:01:21,887 --> 01:01:23,555 The sooner you can get here, the better. 842 01:01:24,348 --> 01:01:25,849 It's definitely bad. 843 01:01:30,354 --> 01:01:32,189 Just one second on that address. 844 01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:22,448 Hello? Michael? 845 01:02:23,323 --> 01:02:25,701 Who is this, and why do you keep calling me? 846 01:02:25,701 --> 01:02:27,911 It-- it's Ben. Ben Baur? 847 01:02:27,911 --> 01:02:31,999 That isn't funny. Ben Bauer died five years ago. 848 01:02:35,294 --> 01:02:36,336 What? 849 01:02:37,546 --> 01:02:38,755 I'm just fucking with you. 850 01:02:38,755 --> 01:02:39,798 What's up, Ben? 851 01:02:42,259 --> 01:02:44,595 I've, uh... 852 01:02:44,595 --> 01:02:46,847 I've been trying to get a hold of you 853 01:02:46,847 --> 01:02:50,642 because I have a question about There's a Zombie Outside. 854 01:02:50,642 --> 01:02:52,478 That old thing? What, are we supposed to do 855 01:02:52,478 --> 01:02:54,188 a podcast or something I forgot about? 856 01:02:54,188 --> 01:02:55,981 Uh, no, no. 857 01:02:55,981 --> 01:02:57,065 I just, um... 858 01:02:59,318 --> 01:03:01,987 I just need to know why you did it. 859 01:03:03,405 --> 01:03:04,781 Why did you make the zombie? 860 01:03:06,116 --> 01:03:09,077 Why did I make a movie about a frustrated writer 861 01:03:09,077 --> 01:03:10,954 who feels he didn't reach his potential 862 01:03:10,954 --> 01:03:13,457 grappling with his own personal monster? 863 01:03:13,457 --> 01:03:15,501 Can't imagine what inspired that. 864 01:03:16,793 --> 01:03:18,337 That's not really what I meant. 865 01:03:19,505 --> 01:03:20,631 But it's the answer. 866 01:03:21,173 --> 01:03:23,175 Not that the nuance really helped our cause. 867 01:03:23,175 --> 01:03:25,260 Turns out critics get weird when you make a zombie movie 868 01:03:25,260 --> 01:03:26,803 with only one zombie. 869 01:03:29,806 --> 01:03:31,391 And why did I... 870 01:03:32,768 --> 01:03:34,436 You know, with the zombie? 871 01:03:35,229 --> 01:03:37,564 I thought we talked about all of this when we made the film. 872 01:03:38,565 --> 01:03:40,609 Uh, can you tell me again? 873 01:03:40,609 --> 01:03:41,652 It's... 874 01:03:42,694 --> 01:03:44,071 It's for research. 875 01:03:45,322 --> 01:03:47,533 Okay, uh, sure. 876 01:03:47,533 --> 01:03:50,953 I guess the zombie sex was symbolic of how we all 877 01:03:50,953 --> 01:03:52,955 inevitably embrace destruction? 878 01:03:53,664 --> 01:03:55,624 Or maybe it's because someone told me that 879 01:03:55,624 --> 01:03:57,209 the only way we'd get into a gay festival 880 01:03:57,209 --> 01:03:58,877 was if there was a sex scene in the movie 881 01:03:58,877 --> 01:04:00,837 and I decided to be an asshole about it. 882 01:04:00,837 --> 01:04:02,839 I don't know. Probably the first one, though. 883 01:04:04,883 --> 01:04:06,218 But what if it's the other way around? 884 01:04:06,218 --> 01:04:07,719 What if... 885 01:04:07,719 --> 01:04:09,805 What if destruction embraces us? 886 01:04:10,889 --> 01:04:12,599 Good question. 887 01:04:12,599 --> 01:04:14,768 I think it's still all a matter of choice. 888 01:04:14,768 --> 01:04:16,645 Nature really doesn't deal in monsters. 889 01:04:16,645 --> 01:04:17,688 Only people do. 890 01:04:19,481 --> 01:04:20,649 Huh. 891 01:04:20,649 --> 01:04:22,359 Was that all you wanted to know? 892 01:04:25,696 --> 01:04:26,738 I don't know. 893 01:04:29,241 --> 01:04:30,284 Can I see you? 894 01:04:30,993 --> 01:04:33,453 Oh, I'd love that, but I'm not in town. 895 01:04:33,453 --> 01:04:35,914 I'm in Utah making one of those TV Christmas movies 896 01:04:35,914 --> 01:04:37,124 for the next few months. 897 01:04:37,124 --> 01:04:38,959 Things we do for art, you know? 898 01:04:44,464 --> 01:04:46,425 Can I ask you one more question? 899 01:04:46,425 --> 01:04:47,593 Shoot. 900 01:04:49,386 --> 01:04:51,263 How do you know how to end a horror story? 901 01:04:52,347 --> 01:04:53,932 Oh, that's broad. 902 01:04:53,932 --> 01:04:55,892 I guess it depends on where it began. 903 01:05:00,480 --> 01:05:01,648 Thanks. 904 01:05:01,648 --> 01:05:03,233 I mean, there's probably... 905 01:05:08,405 --> 01:05:09,573 Where it began. 906 01:09:09,229 --> 01:09:11,064 It's probably nothing. 907 01:09:11,064 --> 01:09:13,650 She sounded pretty adamant. 908 01:09:13,650 --> 01:09:17,237 But there's a chance this guy could be headed up here, so... 909 01:09:17,237 --> 01:09:19,281 Just keep your eyes open. 910 01:09:20,031 --> 01:09:21,741 Over and out. 911 01:09:21,741 --> 01:09:23,994 Roger that. Not like I have anything better to do. 912 01:09:26,204 --> 01:09:28,999 Hollywood weirdos. 913 01:11:07,931 --> 01:11:09,265 Of course it had to be here. 914 01:11:23,196 --> 01:11:24,280 They saw me. 915 01:12:05,405 --> 01:12:07,365 I let the zombie inside. 916 01:13:25,610 --> 01:13:27,278 Dispatch. 917 01:13:27,278 --> 01:13:28,863 Found an abandoned car up here, 918 01:13:28,863 --> 01:13:30,824 but checked out the old Jones place. 919 01:13:30,824 --> 01:13:33,785 No signs of forced entry, and honestly, there's nobody here. 920 01:13:35,161 --> 01:13:37,455 Cut! Okay, that was awesome. 61174

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