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2
00:00:34,198 --> 00:00:36,496
(music)Hey, hey, hey, hey (music)
3
00:00:37,802 --> 00:00:40,032
(music) Ooh (music)
4
00:00:40,104 --> 00:00:44,200
(music) Ooh-whoa (music)
5
00:00:50,014 --> 00:00:53,916
(music) Won't you
come see about me (music)
6
00:00:53,985 --> 00:00:58,888
(music)I'll be alone
dancing, you know it, baby (music)
7
00:00:58,956 --> 00:01:02,824
(music) Tell me
your troubles and doubts (music)
8
00:01:02,894 --> 00:01:07,627
(music) Givin'me everything
inside and out and (music)
9
00:01:07,698 --> 00:01:11,464
(music)Love's strange
So real in the dark (music)
10
00:01:11,536 --> 00:01:16,337
(music) Think of the tender things
that we were working on (music)
11
00:01:16,407 --> 00:01:20,673
(music)Slow change
may pull us apart (music)
12
00:01:20,745 --> 00:01:25,341
(music) When the light gets
into your heart, baby (music)
13
00:01:25,416 --> 00:01:27,907
(music)Don't you (music)
14
00:01:27,985 --> 00:01:31,421
(music)Forget about me (music)
15
00:01:31,489 --> 00:01:34,287
(music)Don't, don't
don't, don't (music)
16
00:01:34,358 --> 00:01:36,690
(music)Don't you (music)
17
00:01:36,761 --> 00:01:39,252
(music)Forget about me (music)
18
00:01:42,567 --> 00:01:46,833
(music) Will you stand above me (music)
19
00:01:46,904 --> 00:01:51,307
(music)Look my way
but never love me (music)
20
00:01:51,375 --> 00:01:56,005
(music)Rain keeps fallin'
Rain keeps fallin'(music)
21
00:01:56,080 --> 00:02:00,414
(music)Down, down, down (music)
22
00:02:00,485 --> 00:02:03,147
[Shattering]
23
00:02:09,026 --> 00:02:13,963
[Boy]
Saturday, March 24, 1984.
24
00:02:14,031 --> 00:02:18,092
Shermer High School,
Shermer, Illinois, 60062.
25
00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:26,540
"Dear Mr. Vernon...
26
00:02:26,611 --> 00:02:29,910
"We accept the fact that
we had to sacrifice a whole
Saturday in detention...
27
00:02:29,981 --> 00:02:32,711
"for whatever it was
we did wrong.
28
00:02:32,783 --> 00:02:34,580
"What we did was wrong...
29
00:02:36,621 --> 00:02:40,819
"but we think you're crazy to make us
write an essay telling you who we are.
30
00:02:40,892 --> 00:02:42,883
"What do you care?
31
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,521
"You see us
as you want to see us...
32
00:02:46,597 --> 00:02:50,363
"in the simplest terms, with the most
convenient definitions.
33
00:02:50,434 --> 00:02:52,902
"You see us as a brain...
34
00:02:52,970 --> 00:02:57,600
"an athlete, a basket case...
35
00:02:57,675 --> 00:03:00,007
"a princess...
36
00:03:00,077 --> 00:03:02,409
"and a criminal.
37
00:03:03,581 --> 00:03:05,913
"Correct?
38
00:03:08,085 --> 00:03:11,543
"That's the way we saw each other
at 7:00 this morning.
39
00:03:11,622 --> 00:03:13,556
We were brainwashed. '
40
00:03:22,934 --> 00:03:27,701
I can't believe
you can't get me out of this.
[Sighs]
41
00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:32,766
It's so absurd I have to
be here on a Saturday.
42
00:03:32,843 --> 00:03:35,607
It's not like
I'm a defective or anything.
43
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,170
I'll make it up to you.
44
00:03:37,248 --> 00:03:40,581
Honey, ditching class to go shopping
doesn't make you a defective.
45
00:03:40,651 --> 00:03:42,949
Have a good day.
46
00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:52,252
Is this the first time
or last time we do this?
Last.
47
00:03:52,330 --> 00:03:55,060
Well, get in there and use the time
to your advantage.
48
00:03:55,132 --> 00:03:57,930
Mom, we're not supposed to study.
We have to sit there and do nothing.
49
00:03:58,002 --> 00:04:01,130
Well, mister, you figure out
a way to study.
Yeah.
50
00:04:03,341 --> 00:04:05,502
Well, go.
51
00:04:11,015 --> 00:04:13,643
Hey, I screwed around.
52
00:04:13,718 --> 00:04:16,585
Guys screw around.
There's nothing wrong with that...
53
00:04:16,654 --> 00:04:20,920
except you
got caught, sport.
Yeah, Mom already reamed me.
54
00:04:20,992 --> 00:04:23,654
You want to miss a match?
You want to blow your ride?
55
00:04:23,728 --> 00:04:28,222
Now, no school is gonna give
a scholarship to a discipline case.
56
00:04:39,910 --> 00:04:41,844
[Tires Skid]
57
00:05:44,608 --> 00:05:47,202
[Snickers]
58
00:05:57,154 --> 00:06:00,385
Well, well.
Here we are.
59
00:06:01,726 --> 00:06:03,887
I wanna congratulate you
for being on time.
60
00:06:03,961 --> 00:06:07,761
Excuse me, sir?
I think there's been a mistake.
61
00:06:07,832 --> 00:06:12,201
I know it's detention but, um,
I don't think I belong in here.
62
00:06:14,538 --> 00:06:18,474
It is now 7:06.
63
00:06:18,542 --> 00:06:23,309
You have exactly eight hours
and fifty-four minutes to
think about why you're here.
64
00:06:23,381 --> 00:06:27,215
Ponder the error
of your ways.
[Hawks, Spits]
65
00:06:27,284 --> 00:06:29,752
- [Gasps]
- You may not talk.
66
00:06:32,390 --> 00:06:36,383
You will not move
from these seats.
67
00:06:38,529 --> 00:06:41,692
And you...
will not sleep.
68
00:06:46,370 --> 00:06:50,363
All right, people,
we're going to try something
a little different today.
69
00:06:50,441 --> 00:06:55,811
We are going to write an essay...
of no less than a thousand words...
70
00:06:57,882 --> 00:07:01,045
describing to me
who you think you are.
Is this a test?
71
00:07:01,118 --> 00:07:05,748
And when I say essay,
I mean essay.
72
00:07:05,823 --> 00:07:11,159
I do not mean a single word
repeated a thousand times.
73
00:07:12,229 --> 00:07:15,289
- Is that clear, Mr. Bender?
- Crystal.
74
00:07:15,366 --> 00:07:19,029
Good. Maybe you'll learn
something about yourself.
75
00:07:19,103 --> 00:07:22,800
Maybe you'll even decide
whether or not
you care to return.
76
00:07:22,873 --> 00:07:26,309
Uh, I can answer
that right now, sir.
77
00:07:26,377 --> 00:07:29,642
- That'd be no for me, 'cause...
- Sit down, Johnson.
78
00:07:29,713 --> 00:07:32,045
Thank you, sir.
79
00:07:33,884 --> 00:07:38,378
My office is right across
that hall. Any monkey business
is ill-advised.
80
00:07:38,456 --> 00:07:41,186
Any questions?
81
00:07:42,226 --> 00:07:44,786
Yeah. I got a question.
82
00:07:44,862 --> 00:07:47,888
Does Barry Manilow know
that you raid his wardrobe?
83
00:07:47,965 --> 00:07:51,162
I'll give you the answer to that question,
Mr. Bender, next Saturday.
84
00:07:52,770 --> 00:07:56,934
Don't mess with the bull,
young man, you'll get the horns.
85
00:07:58,909 --> 00:08:01,673
That man is
a brownie hound.
86
00:08:07,485 --> 00:08:09,419
[Clicking Noise]
87
00:08:10,821 --> 00:08:13,881
[Clicking Continues]
88
00:08:16,894 --> 00:08:18,987
[Clicking Continues]
89
00:08:25,169 --> 00:08:27,160
[Clicking Stops]
90
00:08:34,011 --> 00:08:36,707
You keep eating your hand,
you're not going to be hungry for lunch.
91
00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:38,543
[Loud Click]
[Spits]
92
00:08:38,616 --> 00:08:41,608
I've seen you before,
you know.
93
00:08:51,328 --> 00:08:53,922
[Under Breath]
Who I think I am.
94
00:08:53,998 --> 00:08:56,626
Who are you?
95
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:59,191
Who are you?
96
00:09:01,138 --> 00:09:03,038
I am a walrus.
97
00:09:27,431 --> 00:09:29,422
[Blows]
98
00:09:34,572 --> 00:09:37,006
It's the shits, huh?
99
00:09:38,976 --> 00:09:42,639
- [Nervous Chuckle,
Clears Throat]
- [Paper Rustling]
100
00:09:57,261 --> 00:10:00,253
[Music][music] [Humming]
101
00:10:07,871 --> 00:10:10,965
I can't believe
this is really happening to me.
102
00:10:11,041 --> 00:10:12,975
Oh, shit!
103
00:10:13,043 --> 00:10:16,376
What are we supposed to
do if we have to piss?
Please.
104
00:10:16,447 --> 00:10:19,644
If you got to go,
you got to go.
[Zipper Unzips]
105
00:10:19,717 --> 00:10:21,708
[Grunts]
Oh, my God.
106
00:10:21,785 --> 00:10:23,878
You're not
urinating in here, man.
Don't talk. Don't talk.
107
00:10:23,954 --> 00:10:27,651
- It makes it crawl back up.
- You whip it out, you're dead
before the first drop hits.
108
00:10:30,027 --> 00:10:33,554
You're pretty sexy
when you get angry.
[Growls]
109
00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:38,660
Hey, homeboy, why don't you
go close that door.
110
00:10:38,736 --> 00:10:41,398
We'll get the prom queen
impregnated.
111
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:44,631
Hey. Hey.!
112
00:10:44,708 --> 00:10:47,370
- What?
- If I lose my temper,
you're totaled, man.
113
00:10:47,444 --> 00:10:51,881
- Totally?
- Totally.
114
00:10:51,949 --> 00:10:55,350
Why don't you shut up?
Nobody here's interested.
115
00:10:57,054 --> 00:10:59,545
Really. Buttface.
116
00:10:59,623 --> 00:11:04,322
Hey, sporto, what'd you do
to get in here?
Forget to wash your jock?
117
00:11:04,395 --> 00:11:07,228
Uh, excuse me, fellas,
I think we should
just write our papers.
118
00:11:07,297 --> 00:11:10,698
Just because you live in here
doesn't give you the right
to be a pain in the ass.
119
00:11:10,768 --> 00:11:13,862
So knock it off!
It's a free country.
120
00:11:13,937 --> 00:11:17,839
He's just doing it
to get a rise out of you.
Just ignore him.
121
00:11:17,908 --> 00:11:21,344
Sweets.
122
00:11:21,412 --> 00:11:24,074
You couldn't ignore me
if you tried.
123
00:11:25,949 --> 00:11:28,349
So...
124
00:11:28,419 --> 00:11:30,944
so...
125
00:11:32,690 --> 00:11:34,715
are you guys like
boyfriend-girlfriend?
126
00:11:36,860 --> 00:11:39,192
Steady dates?
127
00:11:40,297 --> 00:11:42,561
Lovers?
128
00:11:42,633 --> 00:11:45,966
Come on, sporto.
Level with me.
129
00:11:46,036 --> 00:11:48,596
Do you slip her
the hot-beef injection?
130
00:11:48,672 --> 00:11:51,140
Go to hell!
Enough!
131
00:11:51,208 --> 00:11:53,699
Hey! What's going on
in there?
132
00:11:55,112 --> 00:11:57,046
Spoiled little pricks.
133
00:12:02,786 --> 00:12:04,720
Scumbag.
134
00:12:07,257 --> 00:12:09,589
What do you say
we close that door?
135
00:12:09,660 --> 00:12:12,220
Can't have any kind of party with Vernon
checking us every few seconds.
136
00:12:12,296 --> 00:12:14,287
You know the door's
supposed to stay open.
137
00:12:14,364 --> 00:12:16,229
So what?
So why don't you
just shut up.
138
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:19,133
- There's four other
people in here, you know?
- God, you can count.
139
00:12:19,203 --> 00:12:21,262
I knew you had to be smart
to be a wrestler.
140
00:12:21,338 --> 00:12:23,932
Who the hell are you
to judge anybody anyway?
Really.
141
00:12:24,007 --> 00:12:26,601
[Boy]
You know, Bender,
you don't even count.
142
00:12:26,677 --> 00:12:29,669
If you disappear forever,
it wouldn't make any difference.
143
00:12:29,747 --> 00:12:32,739
You may as well not even
exist at this school.
144
00:12:34,551 --> 00:12:37,782
Well, I'll run right out
and join the wrestling team.
145
00:12:37,855 --> 00:12:42,485
- [Both Chuckle]
- Maybe the prep club too.
Student council.
146
00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:44,618
Nah.
They wouldn't take you.
147
00:12:44,695 --> 00:12:47,926
- I'm hurt.
- You know why guys like you
knock everything?
148
00:12:47,998 --> 00:12:50,432
This should be stunning.
Because you're afraid.
149
00:12:50,501 --> 00:12:54,665
Oh, God. You richies are
so smart. That's exactly why
I'm not heavy in activities.
150
00:12:54,738 --> 00:12:58,003
- You're a big coward.
- I'm in a Math Club.
151
00:12:58,075 --> 00:13:02,409
You're afraid that they won't
take you, you don't belong,
so you dump all over it.
152
00:13:02,479 --> 00:13:07,781
Well, it wouldn't have anything
to do with you activities
people being assholes, would it?
153
00:13:07,851 --> 00:13:10,513
Well, you wouldn't know.
You don't even know any of us.
154
00:13:10,587 --> 00:13:12,782
Well, I don't know
any lepers either...
155
00:13:12,856 --> 00:13:15,188
but I'm not going to run
and join one of their fucking clubs.
156
00:13:15,259 --> 00:13:18,057
Hey, let's watch
the mouth, huh?
I'm in Physics Club too.
157
00:13:18,128 --> 00:13:21,393
Excuse me a sec.
What are you babbling about?
158
00:13:21,465 --> 00:13:24,628
What I said was that
I'm in the Math Club...
159
00:13:24,701 --> 00:13:27,864
uh, the Latin Club
and the Physics Club... Physics Club.
160
00:13:30,340 --> 00:13:32,672
Hey. Cherry.
161
00:13:34,945 --> 00:13:36,845
Do you belong to
the Physics Club?
162
00:13:36,914 --> 00:13:40,247
That's an academic club.
So?
163
00:13:42,719 --> 00:13:44,846
Academic clubs aren't the same
as other kinds of clubs.
164
00:13:44,922 --> 00:13:48,380
Ah, but to dorks
like him, they are.
165
00:13:50,427 --> 00:13:52,657
What do you guys
do in your club?
166
00:13:52,729 --> 00:13:57,393
In physics, well, we talk about physics.
Properties of physics.
167
00:13:57,467 --> 00:14:02,666
So it's sort of social.
Demented and sad, but social, right?
168
00:14:02,739 --> 00:14:05,731
[Johnson] I guess
you could consider it
a social situation.
169
00:14:05,809 --> 00:14:10,439
Um, I mean, there are
other children in my club. And, uh...
170
00:14:10,514 --> 00:14:14,712
at the end of the year, we have, um,
we have a big banquet at the Hilton.
171
00:14:14,785 --> 00:14:17,049
You load up. You party.
172
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:21,750
No. We get dressed up,
but we don't get high.
173
00:14:21,825 --> 00:14:26,125
- Only burners like you get high.
- And I didn't have any shoes,
so I had to borrow my dad's.
174
00:14:26,196 --> 00:14:28,858
It's weird 'cause my mom doesn't like me
to wear other people's shoes.
175
00:14:28,932 --> 00:14:33,062
My counsel kent...
My cousin Kendall from Indiana,
he got high once.
176
00:14:33,136 --> 00:14:35,969
And, you know, he started eating,
like, really weird foods.
177
00:14:36,039 --> 00:14:40,032
Then he felt like he didn't
belong anywhere, kind of
like Twilight Zone, kinda?
178
00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:43,944
- [Laughs] Sounds like you.
- You guys keep up your talking
and Vernon's gonna come in.
179
00:14:44,014 --> 00:14:47,541
I got a meet this Saturday,
and I'm not gonna miss it
on account of you boneheads.
180
00:14:47,618 --> 00:14:49,711
Oh, and wouldn't that
be a bite?
[Grunts]
181
00:14:49,786 --> 00:14:51,720
Missing a whole
wrestling meet?
182
00:14:51,788 --> 00:14:53,881
You wouldn't know
anything about it, faggot.
183
00:14:53,957 --> 00:14:55,948
You never competed
in your whole life.
184
00:14:56,026 --> 00:14:58,688
[Mock Crying]
Oh, I know. I feel
all empty inside because of it.
185
00:14:58,762 --> 00:15:03,290
I have such a deep admiration
for guys who roll around
on the floor with other guys.
186
00:15:03,367 --> 00:15:07,770
You'd never miss it.
You don't have any goals.
Oh, but I do.
187
00:15:07,838 --> 00:15:10,329
I want to be just like you.
188
00:15:10,407 --> 00:15:13,467
I figure all I need's
a lobotomy and some tights.
189
00:15:15,412 --> 00:15:17,403
You wear tights?
190
00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:20,814
No, I don't wear tights.
191
00:15:20,884 --> 00:15:23,682
- I wear the required uniform.
- Tights.
192
00:15:23,754 --> 00:15:26,222
Shut up.
193
00:15:38,702 --> 00:15:42,035
[Snorts]
Woo!
194
00:15:45,375 --> 00:15:47,866
[Johnson]
There's not supposed to
be any monkey business.
195
00:15:47,945 --> 00:15:50,607
Young man, have you
finished your paper?
196
00:15:55,018 --> 00:15:57,043
[Boy]
Come on, Bender.
Don't screw around.
197
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,350
What are you
going to do?
Drop dead, I hope.
198
00:15:59,423 --> 00:16:01,584
[Water Running]
199
00:16:08,832 --> 00:16:11,062
[Shouts, Indistinct]
All right!
200
00:16:11,134 --> 00:16:15,298
Bender, that's-that's
school property there,
and it doesn't belong to us.
201
00:16:15,372 --> 00:16:18,739
- It's something not to be
toyed with.
- That's very funny. Fix it.
202
00:16:18,809 --> 00:16:20,970
You should really fix that.
Am I a genius?
203
00:16:21,044 --> 00:16:23,535
No, you're an asshole.
Fix the door, Bender.
What a funny guy.
204
00:16:23,613 --> 00:16:26,548
Everyone, just shh.
I've been here before.
I know what I'm doing.
205
00:16:26,616 --> 00:16:28,914
[Boy]
No. Fix the door.!
[Bender] Shut up.!
206
00:16:28,986 --> 00:16:31,511
Goddamn it.!
207
00:16:34,624 --> 00:16:37,115
Why is that door closed?
208
00:16:40,597 --> 00:16:44,089
Why is that door closed?
How are we supposed to know?
We're not supposed to move.
209
00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:51,339
- Why?
- We're just sitting here
like we're supposed to.
210
00:16:55,779 --> 00:16:58,270
Who closed that door?
211
00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:02,446
- I think a screw fell out of it.
- It just closed, sir.
212
00:17:04,254 --> 00:17:06,779
Who?
[Squeaks]
213
00:17:06,857 --> 00:17:10,224
- She doesn't talk, sir.
- [Girl Squeaks]
214
00:17:10,293 --> 00:17:13,228
- [Vernon]
Give me that screw.
- I don't have it.
215
00:17:13,296 --> 00:17:15,594
You want me to yank you
out of that seat?
216
00:17:15,665 --> 00:17:19,692
I don't have it.
Screws fall out all the time.
The world's an imperfect place.
217
00:17:19,770 --> 00:17:21,635
Give it to me, Bender.
218
00:17:21,705 --> 00:17:24,037
Excuse me, sir.
Why would anybody
want to steal a screw?
219
00:17:24,107 --> 00:17:27,406
Watch it, young lady.
220
00:17:29,312 --> 00:17:32,941
[Door Opens]
221
00:17:36,386 --> 00:17:38,445
The door's
way too heavy, sir.
222
00:17:45,295 --> 00:17:47,923
[Vernon]
Damn it.!
[Clattering]
223
00:17:52,969 --> 00:17:56,132
Andrew Clark,
get up here.
224
00:17:56,206 --> 00:18:00,142
[Snaps Fingers]
Come on. Front and center.
Let's go.
225
00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:02,701
- Hey, how come Andrew
gets to get up?
- That's right.
226
00:18:02,779 --> 00:18:06,306
If he gets up, we'll all get up.
It'll be anarchy.!
227
00:18:07,818 --> 00:18:11,276
Watch-Watch
the magazines.
It's out of my hands.
228
00:18:15,125 --> 00:18:20,620
That's very clever, sir,
but what if there's a fire?
229
00:18:20,697 --> 00:18:25,157
I think violating fire codes
and endangering the lives of children...
230
00:18:25,235 --> 00:18:27,396
would be unwise at this juncture
in your career, sir.
231
00:18:27,471 --> 00:18:30,963
All right. What are you doing
with this? Get this out of here,
for God's sake.
232
00:18:31,041 --> 00:18:33,509
What's the matter with you?
Come on.
233
00:18:33,577 --> 00:18:36,512
You know, the school
comes equipped with fire exits
at either end of the library.
234
00:18:36,580 --> 00:18:39,981
- Show Dick some respect.
- Let's go.
235
00:18:40,050 --> 00:18:42,518
Go. Get back in your seat.
236
00:18:45,122 --> 00:18:48,683
I expected a little more
from a varsity letterman.
237
00:18:49,759 --> 00:18:51,954
You're not fooling
anybody, Bender.
238
00:18:52,028 --> 00:18:55,794
The next screw that
falls out is gonna be you.
239
00:18:55,866 --> 00:18:59,962
- Eat my shorts.
- What was that?
240
00:19:02,139 --> 00:19:05,540
Eat... my... shorts.
241
00:19:05,609 --> 00:19:08,578
You just bought yourself
another Saturday, mister.
242
00:19:08,645 --> 00:19:11,170
- Oh, I'm crushed.
- You just bought
one more right there.
243
00:19:11,248 --> 00:19:15,184
Well, I'm free the Saturday
after that. Beyond that,
I'll have to check my calendar.
244
00:19:15,252 --> 00:19:18,016
Good! Because it's gonna be filled.
We'll keep going.
245
00:19:18,088 --> 00:19:21,819
You want another one?
Say the word. Just say the word.
246
00:19:21,892 --> 00:19:25,726
Instead of going to prison,
you'll come here.
247
00:19:25,795 --> 00:19:27,888
- Are you through?
- No.
248
00:19:27,964 --> 00:19:31,661
I'm doing society a favor.
That's another right now.
So?
249
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:34,568
I've got you for the rest
of your life if you don't
watch your step.
250
00:19:34,638 --> 00:19:36,629
You want another one?
Yes.
251
00:19:36,706 --> 00:19:39,869
You got it.! You got
another one right there.
That's another one, pal.
252
00:19:39,943 --> 00:19:42,002
Cut it out!
253
00:19:42,078 --> 00:19:44,308
- [Mouthing]
Stop.
- You through?
254
00:19:44,381 --> 00:19:47,373
Not even close, bud.
255
00:19:47,450 --> 00:19:50,544
- You got one more right there.
- You really think I give a shit?
256
00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:52,588
Another.
257
00:19:53,790 --> 00:19:56,850
- You through?
- How many is that?
258
00:19:56,927 --> 00:19:59,589
That's seven, including
the one when you asked
Mr. Vernon here...
259
00:19:59,663 --> 00:20:01,858
whether Barry Manilow knew
he raided his closet.
260
00:20:01,932 --> 00:20:04,423
- Now it's eight. Stay out of it.
- Excuse me, sir. It's seven.
261
00:20:04,501 --> 00:20:07,026
Shut up, peewee.
262
00:20:10,273 --> 00:20:14,573
You're mine, Bender.
For two months, I got ya.
263
00:20:14,644 --> 00:20:17,112
I got ya.
264
00:20:17,180 --> 00:20:20,081
What can I say?
I'm thrilled.
265
00:20:20,150 --> 00:20:24,086
Oh, I sure that's exactly
what you want these people
to believe. You know something?
266
00:20:24,154 --> 00:20:27,351
You ought to spend
a little more time trying to
do something with yourself...
267
00:20:27,424 --> 00:20:30,291
and a little less time
trying to impress people.
268
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:34,091
You might be better off.
All right. That's it!
269
00:20:34,164 --> 00:20:36,394
I'm gonna be
right outside those doors.
270
00:20:36,466 --> 00:20:41,062
The next time
I have to come in here,
I'm cracking skulls.
271
00:20:53,316 --> 00:20:55,409
Fuck you!
272
00:20:59,589 --> 00:21:01,921
[Sighs]
273
00:21:04,361 --> 00:21:06,352
Fuck.
274
00:22:47,597 --> 00:22:49,588
Wake up!
275
00:22:53,103 --> 00:22:55,196
Who has to go
to the lavatory?
276
00:23:14,124 --> 00:23:17,855
- That's real intelligent.
- You're right.
277
00:23:17,927 --> 00:23:19,918
It's wrong
to destroy literature.
278
00:23:19,996 --> 00:23:22,829
It's such fun to read.
279
00:23:22,899 --> 00:23:25,231
And...
280
00:23:27,670 --> 00:23:30,764
"Molay" really pumps my nads.
281
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,570
Moliere.
282
00:23:34,878 --> 00:23:36,937
I love his work.
283
00:23:45,722 --> 00:23:50,091
Big deal. Nothing to do
when you're locked in a vacancy.
284
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,128
Speak for yourself.
285
00:23:52,195 --> 00:23:57,861
Do you think I'd speak for you?
I don't even know your language.
286
00:23:57,934 --> 00:24:01,665
Hey, you grounded tonight?
287
00:24:01,738 --> 00:24:06,198
I don't know. My mom said I was.
My dad told me just to blow her off.
288
00:24:10,847 --> 00:24:14,305
There's a big party at Stubby's.
His parents are in Europe.
289
00:24:14,384 --> 00:24:17,842
It should be pretty wild.
Are you going to go?
Yeah?
290
00:24:19,589 --> 00:24:21,682
- I doubt it.
- How come?
291
00:24:21,758 --> 00:24:25,751
'Cause if I do what my mother
tells me not to do, it's because
my father says it's okay.
292
00:24:25,829 --> 00:24:29,162
It's like this whole, big monster deal.
It's endless. It's a total drag.
293
00:24:29,232 --> 00:24:31,166
It's like,
any minute, divorce.
294
00:24:31,234 --> 00:24:34,692
- Who do you like better?
- What?
295
00:24:34,771 --> 00:24:37,899
- You like your old man
better than your mom?
- They're both screwed.
296
00:24:37,974 --> 00:24:40,465
No, I mean, if you had
to choose between 'em.
297
00:24:42,679 --> 00:24:46,342
I don't know. Probably go live
with my brother.
298
00:24:48,751 --> 00:24:51,720
I mean, I don't think either one
of them gives a shit about me.
299
00:24:51,788 --> 00:24:54,916
- It's like they use me
to get back at each other.
- Ha!
300
00:25:03,833 --> 00:25:07,496
- Shut up!
- You're just feeling
sorry for yourself.
301
00:25:07,570 --> 00:25:09,936
Yeah, if I didn't,
nobody else would.
302
00:25:10,006 --> 00:25:12,566
Oh, you're breaking
my heart. What?
Sporto?
303
00:25:15,645 --> 00:25:17,579
You get along
with your parents?
304
00:25:17,647 --> 00:25:20,241
Well, If I say yes,
I'm an idiot, right?
305
00:25:22,585 --> 00:25:24,712
You're an idiot anyway.
306
00:25:24,787 --> 00:25:28,450
But if you say you get along with
your parents, well, you're a liar too.
307
00:25:36,633 --> 00:25:40,626
You know something, man?
If we weren't in school, I'd waste you.
308
00:25:40,703 --> 00:25:43,536
Can you hear this?
309
00:25:43,606 --> 00:25:47,269
You want me
to turn it up?
310
00:25:47,343 --> 00:25:50,506
Hey, fellas, I mean...
311
00:25:50,580 --> 00:25:53,879
I don't like my parents, either.
I mean, I don't...
312
00:25:53,950 --> 00:25:58,717
I don't get along
with them when their idea
of parental compassion...
313
00:25:58,788 --> 00:26:02,451
is just, you know,
wacko, you know.
314
00:26:02,525 --> 00:26:04,925
Dork.
Yeah?
315
00:26:04,994 --> 00:26:07,986
You are a parent's
wet dream, okay?
316
00:26:10,833 --> 00:26:14,496
That's the problem.
Look, I can see you
getting all bunged up...
317
00:26:14,571 --> 00:26:16,903
for them making you wear
these kind of clothes...
318
00:26:16,973 --> 00:26:20,636
but, face it, you're
a neo-maxi-zoon-dweebie.
319
00:26:20,710 --> 00:26:23,543
What would you be doing if
you weren't out making
yourself a better citizen?
320
00:26:23,613 --> 00:26:26,776
Why do you have to
insult everybody?
321
00:26:26,849 --> 00:26:29,340
I'm being honest,
asshole.
322
00:26:29,419 --> 00:26:32,582
I would expect you
to know the difference.
323
00:26:32,655 --> 00:26:35,488
Well, he's got a name.
Yeah.
Yeah?
324
00:26:35,558 --> 00:26:37,958
What's your name?
Brian.
325
00:26:38,027 --> 00:26:41,258
See?
My condolences.
326
00:26:43,766 --> 00:26:46,257
What's your name?
327
00:26:48,638 --> 00:26:51,334
What's yours?
328
00:26:51,407 --> 00:26:53,534
- Claire.
- Claire?
329
00:26:53,610 --> 00:26:55,635
Claire.
It's a family name.
330
00:26:55,712 --> 00:26:58,510
- Oh. It's a fat girl's name.
- Oh, thank you.
331
00:26:58,581 --> 00:27:00,606
You're welcome.
I'm not fat.
332
00:27:00,683 --> 00:27:02,981
Not at present, but I can see you
really pushing maximum density.
333
00:27:03,052 --> 00:27:07,546
You see, I'm not sure if you
know this, but there are
two kinds of fat people...
334
00:27:07,624 --> 00:27:11,116
there's fat people
that were born to be fat...
335
00:27:11,194 --> 00:27:14,857
and there's fat people
that were once thin,
but they became fat.
336
00:27:14,931 --> 00:27:18,731
So when you look at them,
you can sort of see
that thin person inside.
337
00:27:18,801 --> 00:27:20,735
You see,
you're gonna get married.
338
00:27:20,803 --> 00:27:23,863
You're gonna squeeze out
a few puppies, and then...
339
00:27:23,940 --> 00:27:25,874
[Grunting]
340
00:27:27,443 --> 00:27:31,971
Oh. Obscene finger gestures
from such a pristine girl.
341
00:27:32,048 --> 00:27:35,040
I'm not that pristine.
342
00:27:38,254 --> 00:27:40,188
Are you a virgin?
343
00:27:42,225 --> 00:27:46,321
I'll bet you
a million dollars that you are.
344
00:27:48,731 --> 00:27:50,665
Let's end the suspense.
345
00:27:50,733 --> 00:27:54,692
Is it going to
be a white wedding?
346
00:27:54,771 --> 00:27:56,864
Why don't you just shut up.
347
00:27:56,939 --> 00:27:58,907
Have you ever kissed
a boy on the mouth?
348
00:28:01,711 --> 00:28:04,373
Have you ever
been felt up...
349
00:28:04,447 --> 00:28:08,076
over the bra,
under the blouse...
350
00:28:08,151 --> 00:28:10,016
your shoes off...
351
00:28:10,086 --> 00:28:12,680
hoping to God your
parents don't walk in?
352
00:28:15,124 --> 00:28:17,183
Do you want me to puke?
353
00:28:19,062 --> 00:28:21,394
Over the panties...
354
00:28:22,765 --> 00:28:24,699
no bra...
355
00:28:26,602 --> 00:28:31,596
blouse unbuttoned,
Calvin's in a ball on the front seat...
356
00:28:31,674 --> 00:28:34,108
past 11:00 on a school night?
357
00:28:35,378 --> 00:28:38,040
[Andrew]
Leave her alone.
358
00:28:47,190 --> 00:28:49,488
I said leave her alone.
359
00:28:52,328 --> 00:28:55,320
- You gonna make me?
- Yeah.
360
00:29:03,439 --> 00:29:06,602
You and how many
of your friends?
361
00:29:06,676 --> 00:29:08,837
Just me.
362
00:29:08,911 --> 00:29:12,074
Just you and me.
Two hits.
363
00:29:12,148 --> 00:29:15,311
Me hitting you.
You hitting the floor.
Anytime you're ready, pal.
364
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:28,324
I don't want
to get into this, man.
365
00:29:28,397 --> 00:29:30,558
Why not?
366
00:29:30,633 --> 00:29:32,965
Because I'd kill you.
367
00:29:35,772 --> 00:29:39,401
It's real simple.
I'd kill you...
368
00:29:39,475 --> 00:29:42,467
and your fucking parents
would sue me,
and it'd be a big mess.
369
00:29:42,545 --> 00:29:46,709
I don't care enough
about you to bother.
370
00:29:46,783 --> 00:29:49,616
Chickenshit.
[Switchblade Clicks]
371
00:29:59,695 --> 00:30:02,289
Let's end this
right now.
372
00:30:02,365 --> 00:30:06,631
You don't talk to her.
You don't look at her.
373
00:30:06,702 --> 00:30:08,966
And you don't even
think about her!
You understand me?
374
00:30:10,406 --> 00:30:12,340
I'm trying to help her.
375
00:30:17,246 --> 00:30:20,238
(music)[Radio]
376
00:30:34,330 --> 00:30:36,264
Brian, how you doing?
377
00:30:38,634 --> 00:30:42,195
Your dad work here?
378
00:30:46,242 --> 00:30:47,834
Uh, Carl?
What?
379
00:30:47,910 --> 00:30:51,073
Can I ask you a question?
Sure.
380
00:30:51,147 --> 00:30:54,674
- How does one become a janitor?
- You want to be a janitor?
381
00:30:54,750 --> 00:30:58,743
No. I just want to know
how one becomes a janitor,
because Andrew here...
382
00:30:58,821 --> 00:31:02,587
is very interested
in pursuing a career
in the custodial arts.
383
00:31:02,658 --> 00:31:05,718
Oh, really?
384
00:31:07,630 --> 00:31:10,758
You guys think
I'm some untouchable peasant,
serf, peon, you know?
385
00:31:10,833 --> 00:31:15,236
Maybe so.
But following a broom around
after shitheads like you...
386
00:31:15,304 --> 00:31:17,534
for the last eight years,
I've learned a couple of things.
387
00:31:17,607 --> 00:31:22,544
I look through your letters.
I look through your lockers.
388
00:31:22,612 --> 00:31:25,775
I listen to your conversations.
You don't know that, but I do.
389
00:31:25,848 --> 00:31:31,150
I am the eyes and ears of
this institution, my friends.
390
00:31:33,823 --> 00:31:36,121
By the way, that clock's
20 minutes fast.
391
00:31:36,192 --> 00:31:40,288
[Andrew Chuckles]
Shit.
392
00:31:46,636 --> 00:31:50,003
[Music][music] [Whistling]
393
00:31:55,244 --> 00:31:59,146
[Music][music] [Whistling]
394
00:32:02,752 --> 00:32:07,086
[Music][music] [All Whistling]
395
00:32:17,833 --> 00:32:20,301
[Whistling "Beethoven's
Fifth Symphony"]
396
00:32:25,441 --> 00:32:28,205
All right, girls.
That's 30 minutes for lunch.
397
00:32:28,277 --> 00:32:30,939
Here?
Here.
398
00:32:31,013 --> 00:32:34,312
I think the cafeteria would be
a more suitable place for
us to eat lunch in.
399
00:32:34,383 --> 00:32:38,786
I don't care what
you think, Andrew.
Uh, Dick?
400
00:32:38,854 --> 00:32:42,688
Excuse me, Rich. Will milk
be made available to us?
401
00:32:42,758 --> 00:32:47,161
- We're extremely thirsty. Sir.
- I have a really low
tolerance for dehydration.
402
00:32:47,229 --> 00:32:49,993
I've seen her dehydrated, sir.
It's pretty gross.
403
00:32:50,066 --> 00:32:54,002
Relax. I'll get it.
Ah-ah-ah.
404
00:32:54,070 --> 00:32:56,868
Grab some wood there, bub.
405
00:32:56,939 --> 00:33:00,500
What do you think,
I was born yesterday?
406
00:33:00,576 --> 00:33:04,307
You think I'm going to
have you roaming these halls?
407
00:33:04,380 --> 00:33:07,577
- You.
- [Sighs]
408
00:33:11,787 --> 00:33:15,518
And you. Hey!
409
00:33:15,591 --> 00:33:18,082
[Snaps Fingers]
What's her name?
Wake her up.
410
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:22,221
Hey, come on.
On your feet, missy,
Let's go! This is no rest home.
411
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:28,364
There's a soft drink machine
in the teachers' lounge.
Let's go.
412
00:33:33,342 --> 00:33:36,175
So...
what's your poison?
413
00:33:38,681 --> 00:33:41,013
What do you drink?
414
00:33:42,985 --> 00:33:45,146
Okay. Forget I asked.
415
00:33:47,089 --> 00:33:49,250
Vodka.
416
00:33:50,526 --> 00:33:54,053
Vodka?
When do you drink vodka?
417
00:33:54,130 --> 00:33:56,462
Whenever.
418
00:33:57,466 --> 00:34:00,299
A lot?
Tons.
419
00:34:00,369 --> 00:34:03,702
Is that why
you're here today?
420
00:34:03,773 --> 00:34:06,264
Why are you here?
Why are you here?
421
00:34:10,379 --> 00:34:12,540
Um...
422
00:34:14,216 --> 00:34:17,708
I'm here today
because, uh...
423
00:34:17,787 --> 00:34:21,917
because my coach
and my father don't want me
to blow my ride.
424
00:34:21,991 --> 00:34:25,984
I get treated differently because,
uh, coach thinks I'm a winner.
425
00:34:26,062 --> 00:34:28,121
So does my old man.
426
00:34:28,197 --> 00:34:30,757
I'm not a winner because
I want to be one.
427
00:34:30,833 --> 00:34:34,826
I'm a winner because
I got strength and speed,
kind of like a racehorse.
428
00:34:36,839 --> 00:34:40,605
That's about how involved
I am in what's happening to me.
Yeah?
429
00:34:40,676 --> 00:34:44,635
That's very interesting.
430
00:34:46,715 --> 00:34:49,775
Now why don't you tell me why
you're really in here.
431
00:34:49,852 --> 00:34:53,185
[Scoffs]
Forget it.
432
00:34:59,161 --> 00:35:03,621
Claire? Want to see a picture
of a guy with elephantiasis
of the nuts?
433
00:35:03,699 --> 00:35:06,361
It's pretty tasty.
No, thank you.
434
00:35:06,435 --> 00:35:10,166
How do you think
he rides a bike?
435
00:35:11,507 --> 00:35:15,443
Claire?
Would you consider
dating a guy like this?
436
00:35:15,511 --> 00:35:19,003
- Can't you just leave me alone?
- I mean, if he had
a great personality...
437
00:35:19,081 --> 00:35:21,811
was a good dancer
and had a cool car?
438
00:35:21,884 --> 00:35:24,876
You'd probably have to
ride in the backseat because
his nuts would ride shotgun.
439
00:35:27,623 --> 00:35:29,614
[Sighs]
You know what I wish
I was doing?
440
00:35:29,692 --> 00:35:32,217
Watch what you say.
Brian here is a cherry.
441
00:35:32,294 --> 00:35:35,024
- A cherry?
- I wish I was in a plane...
442
00:35:35,097 --> 00:35:38,396
- to France.
- I'm not a cherry.
443
00:35:38,467 --> 00:35:42,130
- When have you ever gotten laid?
- I've laid lots of times.
444
00:35:42,204 --> 00:35:46,004
- Name one.
- She lives in Canada.
445
00:35:46,075 --> 00:35:49,567
I met her at Niagara Falls.
You wouldn't know her.
446
00:35:49,645 --> 00:35:52,307
Ever laid anyone around here?
447
00:35:52,381 --> 00:35:56,715
Oh.
You and Claire did it?
448
00:35:56,785 --> 00:35:59,948
- What are you talking about?
- Nothing. Nothing.
449
00:36:00,022 --> 00:36:02,183
Let's just drop it, okay?
We'll talk about it later.
450
00:36:02,258 --> 00:36:04,726
- What are you talking about?
- Brian's trying to tell me...
451
00:36:04,793 --> 00:36:08,058
that in addition to the number of girls
in the Niagara Falls area...
452
00:36:08,130 --> 00:36:12,032
that presently you and he
are riding the hobby horse.
453
00:36:12,101 --> 00:36:14,592
- Little pig.
- No, I'm not.
454
00:36:14,670 --> 00:36:17,901
John said I was a cherry,
and I said I wasn't.
That's all that was said.
455
00:36:17,973 --> 00:36:20,737
Then what were you
motioning to Claire for?
456
00:36:20,809 --> 00:36:24,768
- I don't appreciate this
very much, Brian.
- He is lying.
457
00:36:24,847 --> 00:36:28,078
You weren't motioning
to Claire?
458
00:36:28,150 --> 00:36:31,881
You know he's lying, right?
Were you or were you not
motioning to Claire?
459
00:36:31,954 --> 00:36:35,446
Yeah, but it was only...
460
00:36:35,524 --> 00:36:38,425
It was only because
I didn't want her
to know I was a virgin.
461
00:36:39,662 --> 00:36:41,857
Excuse me for
being a virgin. I'm sorry.
462
00:36:41,931 --> 00:36:44,866
[Scoffs]
Why didn't you want me
to know you were a virgin?
463
00:36:44,934 --> 00:36:48,131
Because it's personal business.
It's my personal, private
business.
464
00:36:48,204 --> 00:36:50,468
Well, Brian, it doesn't sound
like you're doing any business.
465
00:36:50,539 --> 00:36:53,235
I think it's okay
for a guy to be a virgin.
466
00:36:54,677 --> 00:36:56,941
You do?
467
00:37:07,189 --> 00:37:09,350
What's in there?
468
00:37:09,425 --> 00:37:13,122
Guess.
Where's your lunch?
469
00:37:13,195 --> 00:37:16,187
You're wearing it.
You're nauseating.
470
00:37:30,713 --> 00:37:33,238
What's that?
471
00:37:33,315 --> 00:37:36,944
- Sushi.
- Sushi?
472
00:37:37,019 --> 00:37:41,319
[Laughs]
Rice, raw fish
and seaweed.
473
00:37:43,826 --> 00:37:47,421
You won't accept
a guy's tongue in your mouth,
and you're gonna eat that?
474
00:37:47,496 --> 00:37:50,090
Can I eat?
475
00:37:50,165 --> 00:37:52,599
I don't know.
Give it a try.
476
00:38:13,422 --> 00:38:15,356
[Clears Throat]
477
00:38:18,193 --> 00:38:21,128
[Loud Slurping]
478
00:38:29,405 --> 00:38:31,737
[Andrew]
What's your problem?
479
00:39:30,699 --> 00:39:32,690
What are we having?
480
00:39:32,768 --> 00:39:35,760
Uh, it's your standard,
regular lunch, I guess.
481
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:40,601
Milk?
Soup.
482
00:39:45,347 --> 00:39:47,611
Uh, that's apple juice.
I can read.
483
00:39:48,751 --> 00:39:52,209
PB&J with the crusts cut off.
484
00:39:52,287 --> 00:39:55,620
Well, Brian, this is
a very nutritious lunch.
485
00:39:55,691 --> 00:39:59,218
All the food groups
are represented.
486
00:39:59,294 --> 00:40:02,286
Did your mom
marry Mr. Rogers?
487
00:40:02,364 --> 00:40:04,457
No, Mr. Johnson.
Hah.
488
00:40:06,635 --> 00:40:11,095
Here's my impression of
the life at big Bri's house.
489
00:40:15,577 --> 00:40:19,741
[Deep Voice] Son?
[Normal Voice]
Yeah, Dad?
490
00:40:19,815 --> 00:40:23,080
How's your day, pal?
Great, Dad.
491
00:40:23,152 --> 00:40:25,848
How's yours?
Super.
492
00:40:27,322 --> 00:40:32,453
Say, son, how'd you like
to go fishing this weekend?
493
00:40:32,528 --> 00:40:37,465
Great, Dad.
But I've got homework to do.
494
00:40:37,533 --> 00:40:40,832
That's all right, son.
You can do it on the boat.
495
00:40:40,903 --> 00:40:43,736
Gee.!
496
00:40:46,341 --> 00:40:51,973
Dear, isn't our son swell?
Yes, dear.
497
00:40:52,047 --> 00:40:55,016
Isn't life swell?
498
00:40:55,083 --> 00:40:57,017
Oh.
[Loud Kiss]
499
00:40:57,085 --> 00:40:59,019
Oh.
[Loud Kiss]
500
00:40:59,087 --> 00:41:01,612
[Grunts]
501
00:41:07,296 --> 00:41:10,026
All right.
What about your family?
502
00:41:10,098 --> 00:41:12,931
Who, mine?
It's real easy.
Yeah.
503
00:41:21,910 --> 00:41:26,745
[Deep Voice]
Stupid, worthless,
no-good...
504
00:41:26,815 --> 00:41:30,148
goddamn freeloading
son of a bitch.
505
00:41:30,219 --> 00:41:33,882
Retarded, big mouth,
know-it-all, asshole, jerk.
506
00:41:36,458 --> 00:41:40,622
[High Voice]
You forgot ugly,
lazy and disrespectful.
507
00:41:40,696 --> 00:41:44,359
Shut up, bitch!
Go fix me a turkey potpie.
508
00:41:44,433 --> 00:41:48,870
What about you, Dad?
[Deep Voice]
Fuck you.
509
00:41:48,937 --> 00:41:51,804
No, Dad.
What about you?
Fuck you!
510
00:41:51,874 --> 00:41:55,207
No, Dad. What about you?
Fuck you!
511
00:41:55,277 --> 00:41:57,211
Bam!
512
00:41:59,948 --> 00:42:03,213
- Is that for real?
- You want to come over sometime?
513
00:42:03,285 --> 00:42:05,685
That's bullshit.
It's all part of your image.
514
00:42:05,754 --> 00:42:08,279
- I don't believe a word of it.
- You don't believe me?
515
00:42:08,357 --> 00:42:10,291
No.
No?
516
00:42:10,359 --> 00:42:12,486
Did I stutter?
517
00:42:19,868 --> 00:42:23,269
Do you
believe this? Huh?
518
00:42:24,973 --> 00:42:28,875
It's about
the size of a cigar.
Do I stutter?
519
00:42:28,944 --> 00:42:33,244
See, this is what you get
in my house when you spill
paint in the garage.
520
00:42:36,151 --> 00:42:40,485
I don't think that
I need to sit with you
fucking dildos anymore.
521
00:42:47,029 --> 00:42:49,497
[Yelling]
522
00:42:49,565 --> 00:42:51,897
Fuck!
523
00:43:12,054 --> 00:43:14,887
- You shouldn't have said that.
- How did I know?
524
00:43:16,525 --> 00:43:18,459
I mean he lies about
everything anyway.
525
00:43:36,945 --> 00:43:39,675
Oh, shit.
526
00:43:39,748 --> 00:43:44,583
Coffee. Looks like it's
been scraped off the bottom
of the Mississippi River.
527
00:43:46,588 --> 00:43:48,579
Everything's polluted.
Everything's polluted.
528
00:43:48,657 --> 00:43:51,649
The coffee's polluted.
The kids are polluted.
529
00:44:03,972 --> 00:44:07,499
How do you know
where Vernon went?
I don't.
530
00:44:07,576 --> 00:44:11,068
Then how do you know
when he'll be back?
I don't.
531
00:44:12,981 --> 00:44:15,643
Being bad feels
pretty good. Huh?
532
00:44:17,953 --> 00:44:21,445
What's the point
of going to Bender's locker?
Beats me.
533
00:44:21,523 --> 00:44:26,187
This is so stupid.
Why are we risking
getting caught?
534
00:44:26,261 --> 00:44:28,752
I don't know.
535
00:44:28,830 --> 00:44:31,924
So then what are we doing?
You ask me
one more question...
536
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,265
and I'm beating
the shit out of you.
Sorry.
537
00:44:40,442 --> 00:44:44,276
You're such a slob.
My maid's
on vacation.
538
00:44:58,326 --> 00:45:02,490
[Sniffing]
It's drugs.
539
00:45:02,564 --> 00:45:04,532
Screw that, Bender.
Put it back.
540
00:45:04,599 --> 00:45:07,261
Drugs.
The boy has marijuana.
541
00:45:09,271 --> 00:45:12,604
That was marijuana.
Shut up, dick.
542
00:45:14,209 --> 00:45:16,200
Do you approve
of this?
543
00:45:27,622 --> 00:45:30,090
[Bender]
We'll cross through the lab,
and then we'll double back.
544
00:45:30,158 --> 00:45:33,491
[Andrew] You better be right.
If Vernon cuts us off,
it's your fault, asshole.
545
00:45:33,562 --> 00:45:36,224
[Brian]
What did he say?
Where are we going?
546
00:45:57,052 --> 00:46:01,079
(music)Hot on the run from
the grip of the power game (music)
547
00:46:02,691 --> 00:46:08,857
(music) The man who leads the way
The man who leads the way (music)
548
00:46:08,930 --> 00:46:13,594
(music)Shell in its box from his
home that they'll never tame (music)
549
00:46:13,668 --> 00:46:19,766
(music) The man who leads the way
The man who leads the way (music)
550
00:46:19,841 --> 00:46:21,832
Wait. Wait.
Hold it. Hold it.
551
00:46:21,910 --> 00:46:24,105
We have to go through
the cafeteria.
No, the activities hall.
552
00:46:24,179 --> 00:46:26,739
Hey, man, you don't know
what you're talking about.
You don't know.
553
00:46:26,815 --> 00:46:30,376
We're through
listening to you.
We're going this way.
554
00:46:30,452 --> 00:46:33,944
You go where you want,
mother hen. Come on!
555
00:46:36,758 --> 00:46:39,192
(music)He is burning (music)
556
00:46:40,529 --> 00:46:42,793
(music)Burning in the twilight (music)
557
00:46:42,864 --> 00:46:47,563
(music)He is turning
Turning to face us (music)
558
00:46:47,636 --> 00:46:52,130
(music)He is burning (music)
559
00:46:52,207 --> 00:46:56,303
(music)Fire in the twilight (music)
560
00:46:56,378 --> 00:46:59,211
Shit!
Fuck you.
Great idea, jag-off.
561
00:46:59,281 --> 00:47:01,272
Fuck you. Why didn't you
listen to John?
562
00:47:01,349 --> 00:47:03,579
We're dead.
563
00:47:03,652 --> 00:47:08,316
No. Just me.
What do you mean?
564
00:47:08,390 --> 00:47:12,383
Get back to the library.
Keep your unit out of it.
565
00:47:12,460 --> 00:47:16,191
[Music] I wanna be
an airborne ranger [music]
566
00:47:16,264 --> 00:47:20,030
(music)I wanna be
an airborne ranger (music)
567
00:47:20,101 --> 00:47:23,593
- That son of a bitch.
- [Music] Before the day I die [music]
568
00:47:23,672 --> 00:47:26,300
[Music] There's five things
I want to ride [music]
569
00:47:26,374 --> 00:47:28,899
[Music] Bicycle, tricycle
automobile [music]
570
00:47:28,977 --> 00:47:32,504
(music) Virgin's mother
and a Ferris wheel (music)
571
00:47:36,084 --> 00:47:40,077
[Music] I wanna be
an airborne ranger [music]
572
00:47:40,155 --> 00:47:43,818
(music)[Continues, Indistinct]
[Panting]
573
00:47:44,993 --> 00:47:47,860
[Ball Bouncing]
574
00:47:47,929 --> 00:47:51,126
[Yelling]
Three...
575
00:47:51,199 --> 00:47:54,168
two, one.!
576
00:47:54,236 --> 00:47:56,170
[Yells]
577
00:47:56,238 --> 00:47:59,537
Bender! Bender!
What is this?
578
00:47:59,608 --> 00:48:01,940
What are you doing here?
What is this?
Hi.
579
00:48:04,446 --> 00:48:07,609
Out. That's it, Bender.
Out. It's over.
580
00:48:07,682 --> 00:48:10,913
Don't you want
to hear my excuse?
Out.
581
00:48:10,986 --> 00:48:13,318
I'm thinking of
trying out for a scholarship.
582
00:48:13,388 --> 00:48:16,880
Give me the ball, Bender.
Give me that ball.
583
00:48:34,743 --> 00:48:38,736
Get your stuff.
Let's go.
584
00:48:38,813 --> 00:48:42,647
Mr. Wise Guy here's
taken upon himself
to go to the gymnasium.
585
00:48:42,717 --> 00:48:46,949
I'm sorry to inform you,
you're going to be without his
services the rest of the day.
586
00:48:47,022 --> 00:48:50,116
B-O-O H-O-O.
587
00:48:50,191 --> 00:48:53,592
Everything's a big joke, huh, Bender?
The false alarm you pulled Friday...
588
00:48:53,662 --> 00:48:56,927
False alarms are really funny,
aren't they?
589
00:48:56,998 --> 00:49:00,297
What if your home...
What if your family...
590
00:49:00,368 --> 00:49:02,302
What if your dope was on fire?
591
00:49:02,370 --> 00:49:06,636
Impossible, sir.
It's in Johnson's underwear.
592
00:49:06,708 --> 00:49:08,767
[Chuckles]
You think he's funny?
593
00:49:08,843 --> 00:49:12,643
You think this is cute?
You think he's bitchin'? Is that it?
594
00:49:12,714 --> 00:49:17,481
Let me tell you something.
Look at him.
595
00:49:17,552 --> 00:49:19,611
He's a bum.
596
00:49:19,688 --> 00:49:22,885
You want to see something funny?
You go visit John Bender in five years.
597
00:49:22,958 --> 00:49:26,553
You'll see how
goddamn funny he is.
598
00:49:33,468 --> 00:49:37,131
What's the matter, John?
You going to cry?
599
00:49:38,740 --> 00:49:43,575
Let's go.
Keep your
fuckin' hands off me!
600
00:49:43,645 --> 00:49:46,978
I expect better
manners from you, Dick.
601
00:49:48,850 --> 00:49:50,841
For better hallway vision.
602
00:50:01,596 --> 00:50:03,894
That's the last time, Bender.
603
00:50:03,965 --> 00:50:07,264
That's the last time you ever
make me look bad in front of
those kids. You hear me?
604
00:50:07,335 --> 00:50:10,065
I make $31,000 a year,
and I've got a home.
605
00:50:10,138 --> 00:50:12,698
And I'm not about to
throw it away on some punk
like you.
606
00:50:12,774 --> 00:50:14,867
But someday, man, someday...
607
00:50:14,943 --> 00:50:17,605
when you're outta here
and you've forgotten
all about this place...
608
00:50:17,679 --> 00:50:21,775
and they've forgotten about you,
and you're wrapped up
in your own pathetic life...
609
00:50:21,850 --> 00:50:24,375
I'm gonna be there.
610
00:50:24,452 --> 00:50:28,445
That's right. And I'm gonna kick
the livin' shit out of you.
611
00:50:28,523 --> 00:50:30,582
I'm gonna knock
your dick in the dirt.
612
00:50:33,895 --> 00:50:37,695
- You threatening me?
- What are you
going to do about it?
613
00:50:39,868 --> 00:50:41,859
You think anybody's
gonna believe you?
614
00:50:43,171 --> 00:50:46,937
You think anybody is gonna
take your word over mine?
615
00:50:48,576 --> 00:50:51,067
I'm a man of respect around here.
They love me around here.
616
00:50:51,146 --> 00:50:55,446
I'm a swell guy.
You're a lying sack of shit,
and everybody knows it.
617
00:50:58,086 --> 00:51:01,578
You're a real tough guy.
Hey, hey. Come on.
618
00:51:01,656 --> 00:51:04,989
Get on your feet, pal!
Let's find out how tough you are.
619
00:51:05,060 --> 00:51:07,893
I wanna know, right now,
how tough you are. Come on.
620
00:51:07,962 --> 00:51:11,625
I'll give you
the first punch. Let's go.
Come on. Right here.
621
00:51:11,699 --> 00:51:14,668
Just take the first shot.
Please. I'm begging you.
Take a shot. Right here.
622
00:51:14,736 --> 00:51:17,569
Just take one shot.
That's all I need.
623
00:51:17,639 --> 00:51:19,800
Just one swing.
624
00:51:28,883 --> 00:51:31,943
That's what I thought.
625
00:51:32,020 --> 00:51:35,012
You're a gutless turd.
626
00:51:39,194 --> 00:51:41,253
[Door Closes]
627
00:52:14,395 --> 00:52:17,228
A naked blond
walks into a bar...
628
00:52:17,298 --> 00:52:19,789
with a poodle
under one arm...
629
00:52:19,868 --> 00:52:23,861
and a two-foot salami
under the other.
630
00:52:23,938 --> 00:52:27,271
She lays the poodle
on the table.
631
00:52:27,342 --> 00:52:31,005
Bartender says, "I suppose
you won't be needing a drink."
632
00:52:31,079 --> 00:52:35,846
Naked lady says...
Oh, shit!
633
00:52:37,085 --> 00:52:39,178
[Vernon]
Jesus Christ Almighty.!
634
00:52:44,893 --> 00:52:46,918
Forgot my pencil.
635
00:52:51,766 --> 00:52:53,700
[Vernon]
Goddamn it.!
636
00:52:55,570 --> 00:52:58,664
What in God's name
is going on in here?
637
00:53:00,675 --> 00:53:03,769
- What was that ruckus?
- What ruckus?
638
00:53:03,845 --> 00:53:05,710
I was in my office,
and I heard a ruckus.
639
00:53:05,780 --> 00:53:07,771
Could you describe
the ruckus, sir.
640
00:53:07,849 --> 00:53:11,250
- Watch your tongue, young man.
Watch it.
- [Groans]
641
00:53:13,354 --> 00:53:16,016
- [Mr. Vernon]
What is this?
- [Zipping Sound]
642
00:53:16,090 --> 00:53:20,789
- What is that? What-What...
What is that noise?
- [Andrew] What noise?
643
00:53:20,862 --> 00:53:22,887
[Claire]
Really sir, there wasn't
any noise.
644
00:53:22,964 --> 00:53:25,228
- [Gasping]
- Ow!
645
00:53:25,300 --> 00:53:27,393
[Exaggerated Sneeze]
646
00:53:27,468 --> 00:53:30,232
- [All Coughing]
- [Cries Out]
647
00:53:30,305 --> 00:53:33,604
- [Coughing]
- [Coughing]
648
00:53:33,675 --> 00:53:35,643
That noise?
Was that the noise
you were talking about?
649
00:53:35,710 --> 00:53:38,941
No, it wasn't.
That was not the noise
I was talking about.
650
00:53:39,013 --> 00:53:44,280
Now, I may not have caught you
in the act this time,
but you can bet I will.
651
00:53:44,352 --> 00:53:46,445
[Laughs]
652
00:53:46,521 --> 00:53:49,251
You make book
on that, missy.
653
00:53:49,324 --> 00:53:53,158
And you!
I will not be made a fool of.
654
00:53:58,733 --> 00:54:02,396
[Laughing]
655
00:54:09,644 --> 00:54:13,978
It was an accident.
You're an asshole.
656
00:54:14,048 --> 00:54:16,209
Sue me.
657
00:54:22,590 --> 00:54:25,081
So, Ahab, can I have
all my doobage?
658
00:54:28,162 --> 00:54:30,630
[Zipping Sound]
659
00:54:34,302 --> 00:54:36,827
Yo, wastoid. You're not gonna
blaze up in here.
660
00:55:01,929 --> 00:55:05,387
[Clearing Throat]
661
00:55:05,466 --> 00:55:08,663
- [Mouthing Words]
- [Mouthing Words]
662
00:55:15,276 --> 00:55:17,210
[Zips Up Zipper]
663
00:55:24,085 --> 00:55:26,986
[Sighs]
Shit!
664
00:55:46,140 --> 00:55:48,074
[Sniffles]
665
00:55:49,510 --> 00:55:53,105
[Chortles]
666
00:56:02,857 --> 00:56:05,849
[Coughs]
667
00:56:20,274 --> 00:56:22,936
[Claire Giggling]
668
00:56:23,010 --> 00:56:26,878
Chicks cannot
hold their smoke.
That's what it is.
669
00:56:30,651 --> 00:56:34,519
Do you know
how popular I am?
670
00:56:34,589 --> 00:56:39,458
I am so popular.
Everybody loves me so much
at this school.
671
00:56:39,527 --> 00:56:42,496
[Brian]
Poor baby.
[Laughs]
672
00:56:43,564 --> 00:56:45,589
[Brian Coughs, Laughs]
673
00:56:49,604 --> 00:56:52,630
Five.
674
00:56:52,707 --> 00:56:55,835
[Claire Laughs]
675
00:57:12,860 --> 00:57:16,318
Whoo!
[Yells]
676
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:21,293
[Laughing]
677
00:57:27,608 --> 00:57:29,803
[Whistles]
678
00:57:29,877 --> 00:57:33,836
[Grunts, Yells]
679
00:57:35,883 --> 00:57:39,046
Whoo!
[Brian Whistles]
680
00:57:43,558 --> 00:57:45,355
[Brian And Claire Laughing]
Ow!
681
00:57:45,426 --> 00:57:47,291
[Yells]
682
00:57:47,361 --> 00:57:49,295
[Brian Whistles]
683
00:57:54,836 --> 00:57:57,634
[Yells]
684
00:57:58,873 --> 00:58:00,807
[Claire, Indistinct]
685
00:58:03,411 --> 00:58:07,780
Mr... Oh, Mr. Tierney.
686
00:58:07,849 --> 00:58:12,445
A history
of slight mental illness.
[Chuckles]
687
00:58:12,520 --> 00:58:16,115
No wonder he's so fucked up.
Afternoon, Dick.
688
00:58:16,190 --> 00:58:19,921
[Chuckles] Good.
Hey, Carl. How you doing?
Good. What's up?
689
00:58:19,994 --> 00:58:23,725
Not much. What's happening?
What are you doing
in the basement files?
690
00:58:23,798 --> 00:58:26,392
Oh, nothing. Nothing here.
Just doing a little homework.
691
00:58:26,467 --> 00:58:28,697
Homework, huh?
Yeah.
692
00:58:30,805 --> 00:58:33,672
Confidential files, huh?
693
00:58:33,741 --> 00:58:37,768
Look, Carl. This is
a highly sensitive area,
and I tell you something.
694
00:58:37,845 --> 00:58:40,006
Certain people would be
very, very embarrassed.
695
00:58:40,081 --> 00:58:43,244
I would really appreciate it
if-if this would be something...
696
00:58:43,317 --> 00:58:46,286
that you and I could...
could keep between us.
697
00:58:47,688 --> 00:58:50,316
What are you gonna
do for me, man?
What would you like?
698
00:58:50,391 --> 00:58:53,019
Got 50 bucks?
What?
699
00:58:53,094 --> 00:58:55,119
Fifty bucks.
700
00:58:55,196 --> 00:58:57,130
[Both Laughing]
701
00:58:57,198 --> 00:59:00,599
No, no, no, man.
No, you got a middle name?
702
00:59:00,668 --> 00:59:02,659
[Coughs]
Yeah, I guess.
703
00:59:02,737 --> 00:59:07,436
Your middle name
is Ralph, as in puke.
704
00:59:09,076 --> 00:59:13,035
Your birthday,
it's March 12.
You're 5'91/2'.
705
00:59:13,114 --> 00:59:15,412
You weigh 130 pounds.
706
00:59:15,483 --> 00:59:17,951
And your
social security number is...
707
00:59:18,019 --> 00:59:23,218
049-38-0913.
708
00:59:23,291 --> 00:59:25,225
[Snickers]
709
00:59:25,293 --> 00:59:27,488
Wow.
Are you a psychic?
710
00:59:27,562 --> 00:59:29,496
No.
711
00:59:30,898 --> 00:59:33,765
Would you mind telling me
how you know all this about me?
712
00:59:37,939 --> 00:59:40,066
I stole your wallet.
Give it to me.
713
00:59:40,141 --> 00:59:42,632
No.
Give it.!
714
00:59:42,710 --> 00:59:45,110
[Scoffs]
This is great.
You're a thief too, huh?
715
00:59:45,179 --> 00:59:47,773
I'm not a thief.
Multitalented.
716
00:59:47,848 --> 00:59:51,841
What's there to steal?
Two bucks and a beaver shot.
A what?
717
00:59:51,919 --> 00:59:54,547
He's got a nudie picture in there.
I saw it. It's perverted.
718
00:59:54,622 --> 00:59:57,591
All right.
Let's see it.
719
01:00:04,265 --> 01:00:07,701
- Are all these your girlfriends?
- Some of'em.
720
01:00:07,768 --> 01:00:09,702
What about the others?
721
01:00:09,770 --> 01:00:14,173
Well, some I consider my girlfriends,
and some I just consider.
722
01:00:14,241 --> 01:00:16,175
Consider what?
723
01:00:16,243 --> 01:00:18,336
Whether or not I wanna
hang out with them.
724
01:00:18,412 --> 01:00:20,880
You don't believe
in just one guy, one girl?
725
01:00:22,249 --> 01:00:25,013
- Do you?
- Yeah.
726
01:00:25,086 --> 01:00:28,021
- It's the way it should be.
- Well, not for me.
727
01:00:28,089 --> 01:00:30,455
Why not?
728
01:00:30,524 --> 01:00:32,515
How come you got
so much shit in your purse?
729
01:00:32,593 --> 01:00:35,687
- How come you have
so many girlfriends?
- I asked you first.
730
01:00:37,164 --> 01:00:39,257
I don't know. I guess I never
threw anything away.
731
01:00:39,333 --> 01:00:44,737
- Neither do I.
- Oh.
732
01:00:44,805 --> 01:00:48,969
This is the worst fake I.D.
I've ever seen.
[Chuckles]
733
01:00:49,043 --> 01:00:50,977
Do you realize
you made yourself 68?
734
01:00:51,045 --> 01:00:53,673
[Brian]
I know. I know.
I goofed it.
735
01:00:53,748 --> 01:00:55,978
What do you need
a fake I.D. For?
736
01:00:56,050 --> 01:00:58,746
So I can vote.
737
01:00:58,819 --> 01:01:00,753
You wanna see
what's in my bag?
738
01:01:00,821 --> 01:01:02,755
[Both]
No.
739
01:01:18,172 --> 01:01:20,106
Holy shit!
740
01:01:20,174 --> 01:01:22,734
What is all that stuff?
741
01:01:22,810 --> 01:01:25,677
Do you always carry
this much shit in your bag?
742
01:01:25,746 --> 01:01:27,680
Yeah.
743
01:01:27,748 --> 01:01:31,343
I always carry
this much shit in my bag.
744
01:01:32,486 --> 01:01:35,284
You never know when
you may have to jam.
745
01:01:35,356 --> 01:01:39,520
Are you gonna be,
like, a shopping bag lady?
746
01:01:39,593 --> 01:01:42,426
You know, like,
sit in alley ways...
747
01:01:42,496 --> 01:01:45,329
and talk to buildings
and wear men's shoes
and that kind of thing?
748
01:01:45,399 --> 01:01:47,959
I'll do what
I have to do.
749
01:01:48,035 --> 01:01:51,334
Why do you have to
do anything?
750
01:01:51,405 --> 01:01:56,433
My home life...
is unsatisfying.
751
01:01:58,012 --> 01:02:00,242
So you're saying you'd subject yourself
to the violent dangers...
752
01:02:00,314 --> 01:02:03,806
of these Chicago streets
because your home life is unsatisfying?
753
01:02:03,884 --> 01:02:05,818
I don't have to run away
and live in the street.
754
01:02:05,886 --> 01:02:07,820
I can run away
and go to the ocean.
755
01:02:07,888 --> 01:02:09,822
I can go to the country,
to the mountains.
756
01:02:09,890 --> 01:02:13,485
I could go to Israel,
Africa... Afghanistan.
757
01:02:22,636 --> 01:02:24,797
Andy, wanna get in
on this?
758
01:02:24,872 --> 01:02:28,035
Allison here says
she wants to run away...
759
01:02:28,109 --> 01:02:31,977
because her home life
is unsatisfying.
760
01:02:33,514 --> 01:02:35,709
Well, everyone's home life
is unsatisfying.
761
01:02:37,384 --> 01:02:40,478
And if it wasn't,
people would live
with their parents forever.
762
01:02:40,554 --> 01:02:43,785
Yeah, yeah, I understand,
but I think hers goes beyond...
763
01:02:43,858 --> 01:02:48,557
what, you know,
guys like you and me
consider normal unsatisfying.
764
01:02:48,629 --> 01:02:52,360
Never mind. Forget it.
Everything's cool.
765
01:02:52,433 --> 01:02:55,095
- What's the deal?
- No.
766
01:02:55,169 --> 01:02:57,535
There's no deal, sporto.
767
01:02:57,605 --> 01:03:00,335
Forget it.
Leave me alone.
Wait a minute.
768
01:03:00,407 --> 01:03:03,433
You're carrying all that crap
around in your purse.
769
01:03:03,511 --> 01:03:07,003
Either you really wanna
run away, or you want people
to think you wanna run away.
770
01:03:07,081 --> 01:03:09,811
Eat shit!
771
01:03:11,619 --> 01:03:15,783
The girl is an island
unto herself, okay?
772
01:03:25,232 --> 01:03:28,065
Hi.
773
01:03:28,135 --> 01:03:30,126
You wanna talk?
No.
774
01:03:30,204 --> 01:03:33,970
Why not?
Go away.
775
01:03:35,209 --> 01:03:37,939
Where do you
want me to go?
Go away!
776
01:03:48,489 --> 01:03:51,583
- You have problems.
- Oh, I have problems.
777
01:03:51,659 --> 01:03:54,628
You do everything
everybody tells you to do.
That is a problem.
778
01:03:54,695 --> 01:03:57,391
Okay, fine.
But I didn't dump my purse
out on the couch...
779
01:03:57,464 --> 01:04:02,993
and invite people
into my problems, did I?
780
01:04:07,675 --> 01:04:09,609
So what's wrong?
781
01:04:11,011 --> 01:04:12,945
What is it?
782
01:04:15,115 --> 01:04:18,278
[Sighs]
Is it bad?
783
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:21,847
Real bad?
784
01:04:21,922 --> 01:04:23,856
Parents?
785
01:04:39,139 --> 01:04:41,198
Yeah.
786
01:04:50,718 --> 01:04:52,811
What did they do to you?
787
01:04:55,089 --> 01:04:57,819
They ignore me.
788
01:04:59,159 --> 01:05:01,127
Yeah.
789
01:05:03,864 --> 01:05:05,855
Yeah.
790
01:05:08,702 --> 01:05:11,193
What did you wanna be
when you were young?
791
01:05:12,907 --> 01:05:16,035
When I was a kid,
I wanted to be John Lennon.
792
01:05:17,211 --> 01:05:19,509
Carl, don't be a goof.
793
01:05:19,580 --> 01:05:22,208
I'm trying to make
a serious point here.
794
01:05:22,283 --> 01:05:25,150
Carl, I've been teaching
for 22 years.
795
01:05:26,954 --> 01:05:30,515
And each year, these kids
get more and more arrogant.
796
01:05:30,591 --> 01:05:33,355
Oh, bullshit, man.
Come on, Vern.
797
01:05:33,427 --> 01:05:37,090
- The kids haven't changed,
you have.
- [Sighs]
798
01:05:37,164 --> 01:05:41,362
You took a teaching position
'cause you thought
it'd be fun, right?
799
01:05:41,435 --> 01:05:44,598
Thought you could have
summer vacations off.
800
01:05:44,672 --> 01:05:48,506
And then you found out
it was actually work.
That really bummed you out.
801
01:05:51,211 --> 01:05:53,236
These kids turned on me.
802
01:05:56,083 --> 01:05:59,416
They think
I'm a big fucking joke.
Come on.
803
01:05:59,486 --> 01:06:04,253
Listen, Vern. If you were 16,
what would you think of you?
804
01:06:04,325 --> 01:06:09,058
Hey, Carl, you think
I give one rat's ass
what these kids think of me?
805
01:06:09,129 --> 01:06:11,529
Yes, I do.
806
01:06:11,598 --> 01:06:16,001
You think about this.
When you get old, these kids...
807
01:06:16,070 --> 01:06:19,062
when I get old... they're gonna be
running the country.
808
01:06:19,139 --> 01:06:21,300
[Chuckles]
Yeah.
809
01:06:21,375 --> 01:06:24,776
Now this is the thought
that wakes me up
in the middle of the night.
810
01:06:26,180 --> 01:06:29,741
When I get older,
these kids are gonna
take care of me.
811
01:06:31,085 --> 01:06:33,451
I wouldn't count on it.
812
01:06:36,857 --> 01:06:40,258
What would I do
for a million bucks?
813
01:06:40,327 --> 01:06:43,194
I guess I'd do
as little as I had to.
814
01:06:43,263 --> 01:06:45,731
That's boring.
Well, how am I
supposed to answer?
815
01:06:45,799 --> 01:06:50,099
The idea is to, like, search your mind
for the absolute limit.
816
01:06:50,170 --> 01:06:54,470
Like, um... would you
drive to school naked?
817
01:06:54,541 --> 01:06:57,009
[Chuckles]
818
01:06:57,077 --> 01:07:00,604
Um... would I have to
get out of the car?
819
01:07:00,681 --> 01:07:04,617
- Of course.
- In the spring or winter?
820
01:07:04,685 --> 01:07:06,619
[Claire]
Doesn't matter. Spring.
821
01:07:06,687 --> 01:07:09,178
[Andy]
In front of the school
or in back of the school?
822
01:07:09,256 --> 01:07:12,157
- Either one.
- Yes.
823
01:07:12,226 --> 01:07:14,592
I'd do that.
824
01:07:14,661 --> 01:07:18,028
I'll do anything sexual.
I don't need a million dollars
to do it either.
825
01:07:19,566 --> 01:07:22,501
- You're lying.
- I already have.
826
01:07:22,569 --> 01:07:25,970
I've done just about
everything there is, except
a few things that are illegal.
827
01:07:27,374 --> 01:07:31,834
- I'm a nymphomaniac.
- Lie.
828
01:07:31,912 --> 01:07:33,971
Are your parents
aware of this?
829
01:07:34,048 --> 01:07:36,881
The only person I told
was my shrink.
830
01:07:36,950 --> 01:07:39,111
What did he do
when you told him?
831
01:07:39,186 --> 01:07:41,211
He nailed me.
832
01:07:45,192 --> 01:07:47,126
Very nice.
833
01:07:47,194 --> 01:07:49,287
I don't think that
from a legal standpoint...
834
01:07:49,363 --> 01:07:52,355
what he did can be construed as rape
since I paid him.
835
01:07:52,433 --> 01:07:56,529
- He's an adult.
- Yeah. He's married too.
836
01:07:56,603 --> 01:08:00,801
Oh! Do you have any idea
how completely gross that is?
837
01:08:00,874 --> 01:08:04,139
Well, the first
few times...
The first few times?
838
01:08:04,211 --> 01:08:06,543
You mean, he did it
more than once?
Sure.
839
01:08:06,613 --> 01:08:10,071
Are you crazy?
Obviously she's crazy
if she's screwing her shrink.
840
01:08:12,553 --> 01:08:14,544
Have you ever done it?
841
01:08:16,757 --> 01:08:18,850
[Scoffs]
I don't even have a psychiatrist.
842
01:08:18,926 --> 01:08:21,326
Have you ever done it
with a normal person?
843
01:08:21,395 --> 01:08:25,525
- Didn't we already cover this?
- You never answered the question.
844
01:08:25,599 --> 01:08:29,797
Look. I'm not going to discuss
my private life with total strangers.
845
01:08:29,870 --> 01:08:31,929
It's kind of a
double-edged sword, isn't it?
846
01:08:32,005 --> 01:08:36,339
A what?
If you say you haven't,
you're a prude.
847
01:08:36,410 --> 01:08:40,471
If you say you have,
you're a slut. It's a trap.
848
01:08:40,547 --> 01:08:42,481
You want to,
but you can't.
849
01:08:42,549 --> 01:08:46,383
And when you do, you wish
you didn't, right?
Wrong.
850
01:08:46,453 --> 01:08:48,944
Or are you a tease?
851
01:08:50,290 --> 01:08:53,316
She's a tease.
I'm sure.
Why don't you forget it?
852
01:08:53,393 --> 01:08:56,556
You're a tease
and you know it.
All girls are teases.
853
01:08:56,630 --> 01:08:59,622
- She's only a tease if what
she does gets you hot.
- I don't do anything!
854
01:08:59,700 --> 01:09:04,364
- That's why you're a tease.
- Okay, let me ask you
a few questions.
855
01:09:04,438 --> 01:09:06,633
I already
told you everything.
No.
856
01:09:06,707 --> 01:09:09,972
Doesn't it bother you to sleep
around without being in love?
Don't you want respect?
857
01:09:10,043 --> 01:09:12,739
I don't screw
to get respect.
858
01:09:12,813 --> 01:09:14,747
That's the difference
between you and me.
859
01:09:14,815 --> 01:09:16,908
[Scoffs]
It's not the only difference
I hope.
860
01:09:16,984 --> 01:09:19,578
[Bender]
Face it, you're a tease.
I'm not a tease.
861
01:09:19,653 --> 01:09:21,848
Sure you are.
Sex is your weapon.
862
01:09:21,922 --> 01:09:24,823
You said it yourself.
You use it to get respect.
863
01:09:24,892 --> 01:09:28,658
No, I never said that.
She twisted my words around.
864
01:09:28,729 --> 01:09:31,823
- What do you use it for then?
- I don't use it, period!
865
01:09:31,899 --> 01:09:35,426
Are you medically frigid
or is it psychological?
866
01:09:35,502 --> 01:09:38,903
I didn't mean it that way.
You guys are putting words
into my mouth.
867
01:09:38,972 --> 01:09:41,770
- Just answer the question.
- [Brian] Why don't you
just answer the question?
868
01:09:41,842 --> 01:09:44,709
Be honest.
No big deal.
Yeah, answer it.
869
01:09:44,778 --> 01:09:47,576
- Just answer the question.
- Talk to us.
- Answer the question.!
870
01:09:47,648 --> 01:09:50,276
Don't be a jerk.!
It's easy.
It's only one question.
871
01:09:50,350 --> 01:09:52,750
No, I never did it!
872
01:09:57,324 --> 01:10:00,623
I never did it either.
873
01:10:02,129 --> 01:10:05,895
I'm not a nymphomaniac.
I'm a compulsive liar.
874
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:09,525
You are such a bitch!
875
01:10:09,603 --> 01:10:12,868
You did that on purpose
just to fuck me over.!
876
01:10:12,940 --> 01:10:16,569
I would do it though.
If you love someone, it's okay.
877
01:10:18,278 --> 01:10:20,041
[Claire]
I can't believe you.
You're so weird.
878
01:10:20,113 --> 01:10:23,082
You don't say anything all day,
and then when
you open your mouth...
879
01:10:23,150 --> 01:10:25,983
you unload all these
tremendous lies all over me.
880
01:10:26,053 --> 01:10:29,580
You're just pissed off because
she got you to admit something
you didn't want to admit to.
881
01:10:29,656 --> 01:10:32,022
Okay, fine.
But that doesn't make it
any less bizarre.
882
01:10:32,092 --> 01:10:36,188
What's bizarre?
I mean, we're all
pretty bizarre.
883
01:10:36,263 --> 01:10:38,561
Some of us are just
better at hiding it, that's all.
884
01:10:38,632 --> 01:10:40,657
How are you bizarre?
885
01:10:43,036 --> 01:10:44,970
He can't think for himself.
886
01:10:47,007 --> 01:10:49,601
She's right.
887
01:10:49,676 --> 01:10:53,737
Do you guys know what, uh,
what I did to get in here?
888
01:10:55,148 --> 01:10:57,514
I taped Larry Lester's
buns together.
889
01:10:57,584 --> 01:10:59,575
- [Laughs]
- That was you?
890
01:10:59,653 --> 01:11:03,612
- Yeah. You know him?
- Yeah, I know him.
891
01:11:03,690 --> 01:11:06,352
Then you know how hairy
he is, right?
892
01:11:08,061 --> 01:11:10,723
When they pulled
the tape off...
893
01:11:10,797 --> 01:11:14,289
most of his hair came off
and some skin too.
894
01:11:14,368 --> 01:11:16,700
Oh, my God.
895
01:11:16,770 --> 01:11:19,534
The bizarre thing is...
896
01:11:19,606 --> 01:11:21,699
is that I did it
for my old man.
897
01:11:23,577 --> 01:11:26,273
I tortured this poor kid...
898
01:11:26,346 --> 01:11:29,144
because I wanted him
to think that I was cool.
899
01:11:31,718 --> 01:11:36,178
He's always going off about,
you know, when he was in school.
900
01:11:36,256 --> 01:11:39,714
All the wild things
he used to do.
901
01:11:39,793 --> 01:11:45,629
And I got the feeling that
he was disappointed that I never
cut loose on anyone, right?
902
01:11:48,035 --> 01:11:52,028
So, I'm sittin'
in the locker room...
903
01:11:52,105 --> 01:11:54,596
and I'm taping up my knee.
904
01:11:56,343 --> 01:12:01,144
And Larry's undressing
a couple lockers down from me.
905
01:12:02,916 --> 01:12:05,851
And... he's kind of...
906
01:12:05,919 --> 01:12:07,853
he's kind of skinny.
907
01:12:07,921 --> 01:12:10,583
He's weak.
908
01:12:10,657 --> 01:12:14,525
And I started thinking
about my father...
909
01:12:14,594 --> 01:12:18,963
and his attitude about...
about weakness.
910
01:12:19,032 --> 01:12:22,934
And the next thing I knew...
911
01:12:23,003 --> 01:12:27,201
I jumped on top of him
and started wailing on him.
912
01:12:29,109 --> 01:12:32,670
And my friends, they just laughed
and cheered me on.
913
01:12:35,615 --> 01:12:39,210
And afterwards...
914
01:12:39,286 --> 01:12:42,346
when I was sitting
in Vernon's office...
915
01:12:44,958 --> 01:12:48,121
all I could think about...
916
01:12:48,195 --> 01:12:51,722
was Larry's father...
917
01:12:51,798 --> 01:12:55,791
and Larry
having to go home...
918
01:12:55,869 --> 01:13:00,272
and... and explain
what happened to him.
919
01:13:03,477 --> 01:13:07,937
And... the humiliation...
920
01:13:08,014 --> 01:13:11,142
fucking humiliation
he must have felt.
921
01:13:14,488 --> 01:13:16,581
It must have been unreal.
922
01:13:19,192 --> 01:13:23,094
I mean, how do you apologize
for something like that?
923
01:13:26,900 --> 01:13:28,834
There's no way.
924
01:13:33,006 --> 01:13:35,668
It's all because of me
and my old man.
925
01:13:39,880 --> 01:13:41,814
God, I fucking hate him.
926
01:13:44,418 --> 01:13:49,412
He's like this...
He's like this mindless machine
that I can't relate to anymore.
927
01:13:50,924 --> 01:13:56,157
Andrew.!
You've got to be number one.!
928
01:13:56,229 --> 01:13:58,754
I won't tolerate any losers
in this family.
929
01:13:58,832 --> 01:14:03,633
Your intensity is for shit!
Win! Win! Win!
930
01:14:05,038 --> 01:14:07,836
You son of a bitch.
931
01:14:10,744 --> 01:14:15,204
You know sometimes
I wish my knee would give...
932
01:14:15,282 --> 01:14:18,308
then I wouldn't be able
to wrestle anymore.
933
01:14:18,385 --> 01:14:22,515
Then he could forget
all about me.
934
01:14:22,589 --> 01:14:25,820
I think your old man
and my old man should get
together and go bowling.
935
01:14:25,892 --> 01:14:27,860
[Chuckles]
936
01:14:32,098 --> 01:14:34,032
It's like me, you know,
with my grades.
937
01:14:34,100 --> 01:14:38,503
Like when l... when l...
when I step outside myself...
938
01:14:38,572 --> 01:14:41,837
and like when I look in
at myself, you know.
939
01:14:44,578 --> 01:14:46,739
And l... And I see me.
940
01:14:50,050 --> 01:14:51,984
I don't like what I see.
941
01:14:53,286 --> 01:14:55,550
I really don't.
942
01:14:55,622 --> 01:15:00,685
What's wrong with you?
Why don't you like yourself?
943
01:15:00,760 --> 01:15:02,751
Sounds stupid, but...
944
01:15:06,633 --> 01:15:08,567
because I'm failing shop.
945
01:15:10,403 --> 01:15:15,067
We had this assignment,
you know, to make this,
like, ceramic elephant...
946
01:15:15,141 --> 01:15:17,439
and we had eight weeks
to do it.
947
01:15:17,511 --> 01:15:21,072
And then, you know,
we're supposed to... It was like a lamp.
948
01:15:21,147 --> 01:15:25,083
And when, you know,
when you pull it, the trunk,
the light was supposed to go on.
949
01:15:27,487 --> 01:15:30,183
But my light didn't go on.
950
01:15:30,257 --> 01:15:32,384
I got an "F" on it.
951
01:15:33,627 --> 01:15:35,561
I've never got an "F" in my life.
952
01:15:36,963 --> 01:15:39,557
When I signed up, you know,
for the course, I mean...
953
01:15:39,633 --> 01:15:41,658
I thought I was playing it
real smart, you know...
954
01:15:41,735 --> 01:15:43,760
'cause I thought, you know,
I'll take shop.
955
01:15:43,837 --> 01:15:46,271
It'll be such
an easy way to maintain
my grade point average.
956
01:15:46,339 --> 01:15:48,273
Why'd you think
it'd be easy?
957
01:15:50,744 --> 01:15:52,871
Have you seen some of the dopes
that take shop?
958
01:15:52,946 --> 01:15:56,882
I take shop.
You must be a fuckin'idiot.
959
01:15:56,950 --> 01:15:58,747
I'm a fuckin' idiot
'cause I can't make a lamp?
960
01:15:58,818 --> 01:16:01,378
No, you're a genius 'cause
you can't make a lamp.
961
01:16:01,454 --> 01:16:04,150
What do you know
about trigonometry?
962
01:16:04,224 --> 01:16:05,987
I could care less
about trigonometry.
963
01:16:06,059 --> 01:16:08,960
Bender, did you know
without trigonometry,
there'd be no engineering?
964
01:16:09,029 --> 01:16:10,894
Without lamps,
there'd be no light.
965
01:16:10,964 --> 01:16:14,730
Okay, so neither one of you
is any better than the other one.
966
01:16:14,801 --> 01:16:17,133
I can write with my toes.
967
01:16:17,203 --> 01:16:20,604
I can also eat,
brush my teeth...
968
01:16:20,674 --> 01:16:22,835
With your feet?
969
01:16:22,909 --> 01:16:26,003
- Play "Heart And Soul" on the piano.
- I can make spaghetti.
970
01:16:27,147 --> 01:16:29,980
What can you do?
971
01:16:30,050 --> 01:16:33,315
I can, uh, tape
all of your buns together.
972
01:16:33,386 --> 01:16:36,287
I wanna see
what Claire can do.
973
01:16:36,356 --> 01:16:39,086
- I can't do anything.
- Everybody can do something.
974
01:16:41,061 --> 01:16:43,825
There's one thing I can do.
975
01:16:43,897 --> 01:16:47,196
- No, forget it.
It's way too embarrassing.
- You ever seen Wild Kingdom?
976
01:16:47,267 --> 01:16:49,201
That guy's been doing
that show for 30 years.
977
01:16:50,503 --> 01:16:55,202
Okay. But you have to swear
to God you won't laugh.
978
01:16:55,275 --> 01:16:57,368
[Scoffs]
979
01:16:58,378 --> 01:17:00,312
Okay.
980
01:17:02,215 --> 01:17:06,117
I can't believe
I'm actually doing this.
981
01:17:16,796 --> 01:17:20,027
[Applause]
Yea.!
982
01:17:20,100 --> 01:17:24,628
All right. That's great!
Where'd you learn to do that?
983
01:17:24,704 --> 01:17:26,638
Camp.
Seventh grade.
984
01:17:26,706 --> 01:17:29,732
[Slow Clapping]
985
01:17:32,278 --> 01:17:34,212
That was great, Claire.
986
01:17:35,515 --> 01:17:37,813
My image of you
is totally blown.
987
01:17:37,884 --> 01:17:42,014
You're a shit.
Don't do that to her. You swore
to God you wouldn't laugh.
988
01:17:42,088 --> 01:17:44,886
- Am I laughing?
- You fuckin' prick!
989
01:17:47,727 --> 01:17:50,696
What do you care
what I think anyway?
990
01:17:51,931 --> 01:17:55,423
I don't even count,
right?
991
01:17:55,502 --> 01:17:58,232
I could disappear forever
and it wouldn't make any difference.
992
01:18:00,173 --> 01:18:04,667
I may as well not even exist
at this school, remember?
993
01:18:07,947 --> 01:18:10,780
And you...
don't like me anyway.
994
01:18:10,850 --> 01:18:13,819
You know, I have
just as many feelings
as you do...
995
01:18:13,887 --> 01:18:16,412
and it hurts just as much
when somebody steps
all over them.
996
01:18:16,489 --> 01:18:18,457
[Bender]
God, you're so pathetic.
997
01:18:18,525 --> 01:18:23,622
Don't you ever,
ever compare yourself to me, okay?
998
01:18:23,697 --> 01:18:25,688
You got everything,
and I got shit.
999
01:18:25,765 --> 01:18:28,825
Fuckin'Rapunzel, right?
1000
01:18:28,902 --> 01:18:32,133
School would probably shut down
if you didn't show up.
1001
01:18:32,205 --> 01:18:34,833
Queenie isn't here.
1002
01:18:34,908 --> 01:18:38,469
I like those earrings,
Claire.
Shut up.
1003
01:18:38,545 --> 01:18:40,979
Are those real diamonds,
Claire?
Shut up!
1004
01:18:41,047 --> 01:18:44,983
I bet they are.
Did you work for the money...
1005
01:18:45,051 --> 01:18:47,747
Shut your mouth!
For those earrings?
1006
01:18:47,821 --> 01:18:50,551
Or did your daddy
buy those for you?
Shut up!
1007
01:18:50,623 --> 01:18:52,853
I bet he bought those
for you.
1008
01:18:52,926 --> 01:18:56,862
I bet those were
a Christmas gift, right?
1009
01:18:56,930 --> 01:18:58,898
You know what I got
for Christmas this year?
1010
01:18:58,965 --> 01:19:03,800
It was a banner fucking year
at the old Bender family.
I got a carton of cigarettes.
1011
01:19:03,870 --> 01:19:07,362
The old man grabbed me and said,
"Hey, smoke up, Johnny."
1012
01:19:07,440 --> 01:19:10,170
Okay, so go home
and cry to your daddy.
Don't cry here, okay?
1013
01:19:16,149 --> 01:19:18,242
[Claire Sniffling]
1014
01:19:23,356 --> 01:19:25,847
My God, are we gonna
be like our parents?
1015
01:19:25,925 --> 01:19:27,984
Not me.
1016
01:19:30,764 --> 01:19:32,698
Ever.
1017
01:19:34,901 --> 01:19:37,768
It's unavoidable.
1018
01:19:37,837 --> 01:19:40,965
It just happens.
1019
01:19:41,040 --> 01:19:43,008
[Claire]
What happens?
1020
01:19:44,444 --> 01:19:48,380
When you grow up,
your heart dies.
1021
01:19:48,448 --> 01:19:52,885
- Who cares?
- I care.
1022
01:19:54,220 --> 01:19:57,519
[Brian]
Um, I was just thinking,
I mean...
1023
01:19:57,590 --> 01:20:02,459
I know it's kind of a weird time,
but I was just wondering, um...
1024
01:20:05,131 --> 01:20:07,065
what is going to happen
to us on Monday...
1025
01:20:07,133 --> 01:20:09,363
when we're all
together again?
1026
01:20:10,937 --> 01:20:13,497
I mean, I consider
you guys my friends.
1027
01:20:14,941 --> 01:20:19,139
- I'm not wrong, am I?
- No.
1028
01:20:19,212 --> 01:20:22,739
So... So on Monday,
what happens?
1029
01:20:22,816 --> 01:20:25,614
Are we still friends,
you mean?
1030
01:20:25,685 --> 01:20:28,347
- If we're friends now, that is.
- Yeah.
1031
01:20:29,856 --> 01:20:33,314
- Do you want the truth?
- Yeah, I want the truth.
1032
01:20:33,393 --> 01:20:35,884
[Sighs]
I don't think so.
1033
01:20:38,331 --> 01:20:43,200
- With all of us or just John?
- With all of you.
1034
01:20:43,269 --> 01:20:47,171
That's a real nice
attitude, Claire.
Oh, be honest, Andy.
1035
01:20:47,240 --> 01:20:51,370
If Brian came walking up to you
in the hall on Monday,
what would you do?
1036
01:20:51,444 --> 01:20:54,538
I mean, picture this.
You're there with all the sports.
1037
01:20:54,614 --> 01:20:57,777
You know exactly what you'd do.
You'd say hi to him,
and when he left...
1038
01:20:57,851 --> 01:21:01,184
you'd cut him all up
so your friends wouldn't think
you really liked him.
1039
01:21:01,254 --> 01:21:04,417
- No way.
- [Allison] Okay.
1040
01:21:04,490 --> 01:21:08,358
- What if I came up to you?
- Same exact thing.
1041
01:21:08,428 --> 01:21:11,295
You are a bitch!
1042
01:21:11,364 --> 01:21:14,697
Why, 'cause I'm telling the truth?
That makes me a bitch?
1043
01:21:14,767 --> 01:21:16,792
No, you know how shitty
that is to do to someone.
1044
01:21:16,870 --> 01:21:19,270
And you don't got the balls
to stand up to your friends...
1045
01:21:19,339 --> 01:21:21,466
and tell them you're gonna like
who you wanna like.
1046
01:21:21,541 --> 01:21:23,941
Okay, what about you,
you hypocrite?
1047
01:21:24,010 --> 01:21:26,945
Why don't you take Allison
to one of your heavy metal
vomit parties?
1048
01:21:27,013 --> 01:21:29,573
Or take Brian out
to the parking lot
at lunch to get high?
1049
01:21:29,649 --> 01:21:32,117
Or what about Andy
for that matter?
What about me?
1050
01:21:32,185 --> 01:21:35,211
What would your friends say
if we were walking
down the hall together?
1051
01:21:35,288 --> 01:21:38,155
They'd laugh their asses off,
and you'd tell them
you were doing it with me...
1052
01:21:38,224 --> 01:21:40,158
so they'd forgive you
for being seen with me.
1053
01:21:40,226 --> 01:21:42,160
Don't you ever
talk about my friends!
1054
01:21:42,228 --> 01:21:45,220
You don't know any of my friends
you don't look at any of my friends...
1055
01:21:45,298 --> 01:21:47,960
and you certainly
wouldn't condescend
to speak to any of my friends...
1056
01:21:48,034 --> 01:21:49,968
so you just stick
to the things you know...
1057
01:21:50,036 --> 01:21:52,561
shopping, nail polish,
your father's BMW...
1058
01:21:52,639 --> 01:21:55,802
and your poor, rich,
drunk mother in the Caribbean.
Shut up!
1059
01:21:55,875 --> 01:21:59,436
As far as being concerned about
what's gonna happen when you
and I walk down the hallways...
1060
01:21:59,512 --> 01:22:01,844
you can forget it,
'cause it's never gonna happen.
1061
01:22:01,915 --> 01:22:05,476
Just bury your head in the sand
and wait for your fuckin' prom!
1062
01:22:05,551 --> 01:22:08,611
I hate you!
Yeah? Good.!
1063
01:22:14,894 --> 01:22:17,863
Okay, then I assume
Allison and I are better people
than you guys, huh?
1064
01:22:19,365 --> 01:22:21,492
Us weirdos.
1065
01:22:22,568 --> 01:22:25,662
Would you...
Would you do that to me?
1066
01:22:25,738 --> 01:22:28,206
I don't have any friends.
1067
01:22:30,243 --> 01:22:33,610
- Well, if you did.
- No.
1068
01:22:35,982 --> 01:22:38,780
I don't think the kind of friends
I'd have would mind.
1069
01:22:38,851 --> 01:22:42,014
Well, I just wanna tell...
1070
01:22:42,088 --> 01:22:44,955
each of you
that I wouldn't do that.
1071
01:22:45,024 --> 01:22:47,891
I wouldn't and I will not.
1072
01:22:49,629 --> 01:22:51,563
'Cause I think
that's real shitty.
1073
01:22:54,600 --> 01:22:57,160
Your friends wouldn't mind
because they look up to us.
1074
01:23:01,040 --> 01:23:04,032
You're so conceited, Claire.
1075
01:23:04,110 --> 01:23:06,340
You're so conceited.
1076
01:23:06,412 --> 01:23:08,642
You're so, like, full of yourself.
Why are you like that?
1077
01:23:08,715 --> 01:23:12,446
I'm not saying that
to be conceited.
1078
01:23:12,518 --> 01:23:15,851
I hate it.
I hate having to go along
with everything my friends say.
1079
01:23:15,922 --> 01:23:18,015
[Brian]
Well, then why do you do it?
1080
01:23:19,359 --> 01:23:22,419
I don't know.
I don't...
1081
01:23:22,495 --> 01:23:25,623
You don't understand.
You don't...
1082
01:23:25,698 --> 01:23:29,759
You're not friends
with the same kinds of people
Andy and I are friends with.
1083
01:23:29,836 --> 01:23:34,500
You know, you just
don't understand the pressure
they can put on you.
1084
01:23:34,574 --> 01:23:36,542
I don't understand what?
1085
01:23:36,609 --> 01:23:40,045
You think I don't understand
pressure, Claire?
1086
01:23:40,113 --> 01:23:43,014
Well, fuck you!
Fuck you!
1087
01:23:51,057 --> 01:23:52,991
You know why I'm here today?
1088
01:23:55,094 --> 01:23:57,028
Do you?
1089
01:23:58,531 --> 01:24:02,262
[Sniffles]
I'm here...
1090
01:24:02,335 --> 01:24:07,466
because Mr. Ryan...
found a gun in my locker.
1091
01:24:10,543 --> 01:24:13,569
Why'd you have
a gun in your locker?
1092
01:24:13,646 --> 01:24:15,614
I tried.
1093
01:24:17,316 --> 01:24:22,219
When you pull
the fuckin'... trunk on it,
the light's supposed to go on.
1094
01:24:22,288 --> 01:24:24,984
[Sniffles]
It didn't go on.
1095
01:24:28,227 --> 01:24:31,128
- [Andy]
What's the gun for, Brian?
- Just forget it.
1096
01:24:31,197 --> 01:24:33,324
You brought it up, man.
1097
01:24:35,435 --> 01:24:37,369
I can't have an "F."
1098
01:24:40,706 --> 01:24:45,405
I can't have it,
and I know my parents can't have it.
1099
01:24:48,915 --> 01:24:53,011
Even if I ace the rest of the semester,
I'm still only a "B. '
1100
01:24:53,086 --> 01:24:55,782
Everything's ruined for me.
1101
01:24:55,855 --> 01:24:58,585
Brian...
What?
1102
01:25:03,996 --> 01:25:06,624
Considering
my options, you know.
1103
01:25:06,699 --> 01:25:08,667
No, killing yourself
is not an option.
1104
01:25:08,734 --> 01:25:11,999
Well, I didn't do it, did I?
No, I don't think so.
1105
01:25:12,071 --> 01:25:14,130
It was a handgun?
1106
01:25:14,207 --> 01:25:19,270
[Exhales]
No, it was a flare gun.
It went off in my locker.
1107
01:25:19,345 --> 01:25:23,509
Really?
[Laughs]
1108
01:25:23,583 --> 01:25:28,282
- It's not funny.
- [Clears Throat, Chuckles]
1109
01:25:37,563 --> 01:25:42,193
[Chuckles]
Yes, it is.
1110
01:25:44,137 --> 01:25:46,662
[Brian]
Fuckin'elephant was destroyed.
1111
01:25:47,974 --> 01:25:51,501
You wanna know what I did
to get in here?
1112
01:25:53,779 --> 01:25:56,339
Nothing.
1113
01:25:56,415 --> 01:25:58,815
I didn't have
anything better to do.
1114
01:25:58,885 --> 01:26:01,683
[All Chuckling]
1115
01:26:04,657 --> 01:26:06,818
You're laughing at me.
1116
01:26:06,893 --> 01:26:09,828
No!
Yeah, you are.
1117
01:26:12,465 --> 01:26:13,727
(music)[Rock]
1118
01:26:14,800 --> 01:26:17,564
[Music][music] [Record Scratches,
Rock Continues]
1119
01:26:19,038 --> 01:26:21,336
[Volume Increases]
1120
01:26:34,187 --> 01:26:36,917
[Music] It seems so clear
in black and white [music]
1121
01:26:36,989 --> 01:26:40,447
(music) The living color tends
to dull our sight (music)
1122
01:26:40,526 --> 01:26:43,859
(music)Like dynamite (music)
1123
01:26:43,930 --> 01:26:48,560
(music)Just imagine my surprise
when I looked into your eyes (music)
1124
01:26:48,634 --> 01:26:53,833
(music)And saw
through your disguise (music)
1125
01:26:53,906 --> 01:26:58,138
(music)lf we dare expose
our hearts and just reveal
the purest thoughts (music)
1126
01:26:58,211 --> 01:27:03,148
(music) That's when strange sensations
start to grow (music)
1127
01:27:03,216 --> 01:27:06,310
(music) Oh, we are not alone (music)
1128
01:27:06,385 --> 01:27:08,580
(music) You find out where
you're coming from (music)
1129
01:27:08,654 --> 01:27:14,251
(music) There'll be somebody there
to break your fall (music)
1130
01:27:14,327 --> 01:27:16,295
(music) We are not alone (music)
1131
01:27:16,362 --> 01:27:19,058
(music) 'Cause when you come down
through the fold (music)
1132
01:27:19,131 --> 01:27:23,431
(music) We're really not
so different after all (music)
1133
01:27:41,854 --> 01:27:44,220
(music)[New Song]
1134
01:27:55,501 --> 01:27:58,527
Brian?
Hmm.
1135
01:27:58,604 --> 01:28:01,971
Are you gonna
write your paper?
Yeah. Why?
1136
01:28:04,110 --> 01:28:08,012
Well, it's kind of a waste
for all of us to write
our paper, don't you think?
1137
01:28:08,080 --> 01:28:10,014
Well, that's what Vernon
wants us to do.
1138
01:28:10,082 --> 01:28:14,348
[Claire] True.
But I think we'd all
kind of say the same thing.
1139
01:28:15,755 --> 01:28:18,849
You just don't wanna
write your paper, right?
1140
01:28:18,924 --> 01:28:22,883
True, but you're
the smartest, right?
1141
01:28:22,962 --> 01:28:26,921
Well. Um...
We trust you.
1142
01:28:30,102 --> 01:28:32,161
Yeah.
1143
01:28:34,240 --> 01:28:38,176
All right.
I'll do it.
1144
01:28:39,278 --> 01:28:41,212
Great.
1145
01:28:53,526 --> 01:28:55,551
Come on.
1146
01:28:55,628 --> 01:28:58,597
Where we going?
Come on.
1147
01:29:00,599 --> 01:29:04,433
[Claire]
Don't be afraid.
1148
01:29:04,503 --> 01:29:06,596
Don't stick that
in my eye.
I'm not sticking...
1149
01:29:06,672 --> 01:29:09,402
Just close it. Wait a minute.
Just go like... go like that.
1150
01:29:11,444 --> 01:29:16,006
Good.
[Whimpers]
1151
01:29:16,082 --> 01:29:19,108
You know, you really do
look better without all
that black shit on your eyes.
1152
01:29:19,185 --> 01:29:21,881
Hey, I like
that black shit.
1153
01:29:23,222 --> 01:29:25,417
[Claire]
This looks a lot better.
1154
01:29:25,491 --> 01:29:27,425
Look up.
1155
01:29:33,032 --> 01:29:35,762
[Sighs]
1156
01:29:35,835 --> 01:29:39,703
Please. Why are you
being so nice to me?
1157
01:29:39,772 --> 01:29:41,706
'Cause you're letting me.
1158
01:29:49,715 --> 01:29:51,979
[Door Opens]
1159
01:29:59,492 --> 01:30:01,722
You lost?
1160
01:30:52,545 --> 01:30:55,207
Thank you.
1161
01:31:02,755 --> 01:31:05,155
Why'd you do that?
1162
01:31:05,224 --> 01:31:08,387
'Cause I knew
you wouldn't.
1163
01:31:08,461 --> 01:31:12,727
You know how you said before
how your parents use you
to get back at each other?
1164
01:31:12,798 --> 01:31:15,323
Wouldn't I be outstanding
in that capacity?
1165
01:31:18,170 --> 01:31:20,900
Were you really disgusted
about what I did
with my lipstick?
1166
01:31:22,007 --> 01:31:25,670
Truth?
Truth.
1167
01:31:25,744 --> 01:31:27,678
No.
1168
01:31:37,723 --> 01:31:40,556
What happened to you?
1169
01:31:40,626 --> 01:31:44,392
Why?
Claire did it.
1170
01:31:48,067 --> 01:31:50,558
- What's wrong?
- Nothing's wrong.
1171
01:31:50,636 --> 01:31:56,199
It's just... you're just
so different, you know.
1172
01:31:56,275 --> 01:31:59,369
I can see your face.
1173
01:31:59,445 --> 01:32:01,379
Is that good or bad?
1174
01:32:02,815 --> 01:32:05,010
That's good.
1175
01:32:19,832 --> 01:32:21,959
See ya, Brian.
Hey, Carl.
1176
01:32:23,269 --> 01:32:25,829
See ya next Saturday.
You bet.
1177
01:32:35,147 --> 01:32:39,015
(music) Won't you
come see about me (music)
1178
01:32:39,084 --> 01:32:43,817
(music)I'll be alone, dancing
you know it, baby
1179
01:32:43,889 --> 01:32:47,757
(music) Tell me
your troubles and doubts (music)
1180
01:32:47,826 --> 01:32:52,820
(music) Giving me everything
inside and out and (music)
1181
01:32:52,898 --> 01:32:56,629
(music)Love's strange
so real in the dark (music)
1182
01:32:56,702 --> 01:33:01,537
(music) Think of the tender things
that we were working on (music)
1183
01:33:01,607 --> 01:33:05,566
(music)Slow change
may pull us apart (music)
1184
01:33:05,644 --> 01:33:10,274
(music) When the light
gets into your heart, baby (music)
1185
01:33:10,349 --> 01:33:12,817
(music)Don't you (music)
1186
01:33:12,885 --> 01:33:16,753
(music)Forget about me (music)
1187
01:33:16,822 --> 01:33:19,382
(music)Don't, don't, don't, don't (music)
1188
01:33:19,458 --> 01:33:21,756
(music)Don't you (music)
1189
01:33:21,827 --> 01:33:23,920
(music)Forget about me (music)
1190
01:33:27,099 --> 01:33:31,866
(music) Will you stand above me (music)
1191
01:33:31,937 --> 01:33:36,374
(music)Look my way
but never love me (music)
1192
01:33:36,442 --> 01:33:41,243
(music)Rain keeps falling
Rain keeps falling (music)
1193
01:33:41,313 --> 01:33:45,374
(music)Down, down, down (music)
1194
01:33:45,451 --> 01:33:49,581
(music) Will you recognize me (music)
1195
01:33:49,655 --> 01:33:53,318
(music) Call my name
or walk on by (music)
1196
01:33:53,392 --> 01:33:58,853
(music)As the rain keeps falling
Rain keeps falling (music)
1197
01:33:58,931 --> 01:34:01,798
(music)Down, down, down (music)
1198
01:34:05,037 --> 01:34:08,632
(music)Hey, hey, hey, hey (music)
1199
01:34:08,707 --> 01:34:11,198
(music) Ooh (music)
1200
01:34:11,276 --> 01:34:14,302
[Brian's Voice]
"Dear Mr. Vernon...
1201
01:34:14,380 --> 01:34:17,178
"We accept the fact that
we had to sacrifice a whole
Saturday in detention...
1202
01:34:17,249 --> 01:34:19,683
"for whatever it was
we did wrong...
1203
01:34:19,752 --> 01:34:23,779
"but we think you're crazy to
make us write an essay telling
you who we think we are.
1204
01:34:23,856 --> 01:34:26,222
"You see us
as you wanna see us...
1205
01:34:26,291 --> 01:34:29,920
"in the simplest terms
with the most convenient
definitions.
1206
01:34:29,995 --> 01:34:34,455
"But what we found out
is that each one of us is a brain...
1207
01:34:34,533 --> 01:34:36,467
[Andy's Voice]
"And an athlete...
1208
01:34:36,535 --> 01:34:38,469
[Allison's Voice]
"And a basket case...
1209
01:34:38,537 --> 01:34:41,165
[Claire's Voice] princess...
[Bender's Voice]
And a criminal.
1210
01:34:41,240 --> 01:34:44,471
[Brian's Voice]
"Does that answer your question?
1211
01:34:44,543 --> 01:34:49,344
Sincerely yours,
The Breakfast Club. '
1212
01:34:49,415 --> 01:34:52,077
(music)Don't, don't, don't, don't (music)
1213
01:34:52,151 --> 01:34:54,449
(music)Don't you (music)
1214
01:34:54,520 --> 01:34:57,216
(music)Forget about me (music)
1215
01:34:58,857 --> 01:35:01,553
(music)As you walk on by (music)
97734
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