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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:03,802 [ Humming ] Guys, great day. 2 00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:05,371 Shell, love the shirt. 3 00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:08,374 [ Chuckles ] Nicki, great to see you. 4 00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:09,842 Nicki. 5 00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:11,377 Hi, Justin. 6 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:14,980 Wait, like, is this "the Nicki that broke your heart" Nicki? 7 00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:16,982 Candace, you don't have to say everything out loud. 8 00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:19,385 Sometimes you could just think things. 9 00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:25,190 Well, I was just in the middle of telling Nicki 10 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,325 how great everything's going for you. 11 00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,426 You're dating lots of girls... 12 00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:29,194 Especially that hot Italian model, right? 13 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:30,596 [ Chuckles ] Danny, no more. 14 00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:32,598 It's Italian, so she would say... 15 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:33,999 [ Italian accent ] "A-no-moré." 16 00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:36,335 [ Normal voice ] I hear them all night. 17 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:38,504 [ Italian accent ] "I love-a to be with you. 18 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:41,607 I love it when you put your happy hands on my happy body." 19 00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:49,081 "Grazie, Justin. Grazie for the happy." 20 00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,749 [ Chuckles ] I, um... 21 00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:53,352 I don't think I should have popped in like this, so... 22 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,587 Hey, you can pop. You can pop all the time. I love poppin'. 23 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,309 Snap, crackle, pop. I eat it every morning. 24 00:00:58,192 --> 00:00:59,591 Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, 25 00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:02,494 pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, 26 00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:05,964 pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, 27 00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:08,600 pop, pop, pop, pop. 28 00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:14,006 I've got some stuff to take care of, 29 00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:18,177 so, um, I will catch up with you guys later. 30 00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:20,412 Okay. You still smell like vanilla. That's... 31 00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,116 Be honest with me. 32 00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:28,320 Did I... just shoot her in the face? 33 00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:30,222 I mean, w... 34 00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:32,224 Why is she back in Detroit? 35 00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:35,227 You want the good news, or you want the bad news? 36 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,962 Good. Well, the good news is 37 00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:38,464 I'm awesome at giving bad news. 38 00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:42,734 The secret is I tell the bad news so quickly 39 00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,570 that you don't even understand when it's coming. 40 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,839 Nicki's engaged. 41 00:01:46,841 --> 00:01:48,207 Nicki's engaged? 42 00:01:57,551 --> 00:02:00,953 This is weird, but I'm just gonna go with it. 43 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:11,430 ¶ Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh ¶ 44 00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:12,464 "undateable," starring me. 45 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,566 Justin: And me. That's it. 46 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,735 I knew Nicki would get engaged, you know? 47 00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,570 It just sucks that the first time I see her 48 00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:21,907 since we break up, and i make such a fool of myself. 49 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:24,843 I just saw it going so differently. 50 00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:26,245 Okay, I'll ask. 51 00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,647 No, Leslie, don't, don't! 52 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,617 How did you see it going? 53 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,619 [ Sighs ] Summertime. 54 00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:36,321 [ Groans ] 55 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:40,459 I'm walking on the street, and she calls my name. 56 00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:42,794 I turn, revealing that I'm holding Spencer, 57 00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,463 my biracial baby. 58 00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:47,099 Then Spence gets cranky. 59 00:02:47,101 --> 00:02:48,767 You know, it's nap time... For the both of us. 60 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,537 We nap together because I'm such a good father. 61 00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:54,540 And as I walk away, i look down at Spence and say, 62 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:57,809 "that's just a nice lady daddy used to know," and... 63 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,948 I win. 64 00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,950 I think the real winners are the people 65 00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:08,453 who didn't have to hear that story. 66 00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:11,390 Danny: Look, man, if you really think 67 00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:12,724 you messed up with Nicki this morning, 68 00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:14,293 why don't you just invite her back here and have a do-over? 69 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,394 I can coach you, man. 70 00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:17,062 I can guarantee it's gonna go great, 71 00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,764 and I know that because I'm psychic. 72 00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:19,965 Danny, you're not psychic. "Psychic"! 73 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,867 I knew you were gonna say "psychic." 74 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,702 Seriously, I am. 75 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,737 Observe. 76 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:28,106 Right now, uh, uh, uh, Shelly is doing 77 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,976 something that no human would normally ever do. 78 00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:32,978 Oh, I'm sorry, Daniel. I didn't catch that. 79 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:36,915 I was busy making one of these foosball teams black. 80 00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:44,556 Okay, finished unloading the groceries. 81 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,659 Now I have to run back to the bar, but feel free to hang. 82 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:48,827 Cool. Okay. Hey, see ya, mate. 83 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:49,829 Bye. Bye! See ya, mate! 84 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:53,065 He's gone. 85 00:03:57,271 --> 00:04:00,606 I am so psyched for Nicki's engagement party. 86 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:03,875 I am gonna get my dance on and maybe even kiss a guy. 87 00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,811 I'd do anything to get that kiss. 88 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:09,147 Time to play my favorite game... 89 00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:12,484 How far would burski go to hook up with Leslie? 90 00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:15,821 Would you hook up with Leslie 91 00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:19,024 if it meant your entire family died afterwards? 92 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,359 Bone zone. 93 00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:22,861 Give me something tough. I... 94 00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:25,364 Oh, um, I've got one. 95 00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,032 Would if you could hook up with Leslie, 96 00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,700 but you could never see her again? 97 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:29,835 Ooh. 98 00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,236 Ooh. Ooh. 99 00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:34,773 B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bone zone, girl. Ha ha! 100 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,776 I thought we were joking, but you would seriously choose 101 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,212 hooking up with me over our friendship? 102 00:04:40,214 --> 00:04:42,495 This feels like a trap. 103 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,056 Nicki's gonna be here any second. 104 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,624 Now, you know how anyone can tell 105 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,092 how you're feeling emotionally, 106 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,761 even if you just say one word? 107 00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,030 [ Nervously ] Yeah. 108 00:04:58,032 --> 00:05:00,299 You can't do that. Let's practice, okay? 109 00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:02,701 I want you to say, "it's great to see you," 110 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,836 without any emotional undercurrent. Go. 111 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:07,139 [ Weakly ] It's great to see you. 112 00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,641 Just throw it away. Throw it away. 113 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,044 Just... "It's great to see you." 114 00:05:12,046 --> 00:05:13,545 It's great to see you. 115 00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:18,718 Oh, oh. 116 00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:20,686 Hi, Justin. Hi. Justin: Hey. 117 00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,188 Listen, I just felt so stupid earlier. 118 00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,956 What I wanted to say was I'm happy 119 00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:27,359 that you... That you met someone. 120 00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:29,795 That means a lot to me. [ Chuckles ] 121 00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:30,797 How is he doing? 122 00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:32,631 Uh, yeah, clear skies from here. 123 00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:33,799 Looks like he's going 124 00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:37,135 for a nice, sweet, smooth takeoff. 125 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,337 Nicki: Hey, Danny. 126 00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:40,072 You flying an imaginary plane? 127 00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:44,142 Uh, yeah, I am. It's just for fun. 128 00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:49,715 Thanks again for coming by. 129 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,551 It's great to see you. 130 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:53,553 Oh! He did it! 131 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,053 Hey, all right. 132 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,222 Hey, looks pretty good from here. 133 00:05:57,224 --> 00:06:00,459 Should just take her down for a smooth landing, huh? 134 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:07,833 Well, I got to, uh... I got to go. 135 00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,501 Our engagement party is tomorrow, 136 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:11,837 and the venue fell through, so I have to find a new one. 137 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:15,507 Oh. Oh. Oh, you need a-a venue. Hello. 138 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,242 [ Chuckles ] I own a venue. 139 00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:19,010 Danny: Whoa, whoa. 140 00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:21,079 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 141 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,450 What's going on here? 142 00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:28,453 Oh, god! Wake up! Wake up! 143 00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:30,956 You would really do that for me? 144 00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:33,125 Of c... Hey, of course. 145 00:06:33,127 --> 00:06:34,493 It'll be poppin'. 146 00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:35,794 [ Both chuckle ] 147 00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:38,697 We lost an engine! We lost an engine! 148 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,367 Oh, my god, you're awesome. 149 00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:44,035 [ Chuckles ] 150 00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,937 [ Sighs ] 151 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,711 What is he doing? 152 00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:56,448 He ejected himself at the last second. 153 00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:58,690 Now he's parachuting down. 154 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,187 Whoa! Here we come! 155 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,723 Oh! 156 00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,024 [ Coughs ] 157 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,186 [ Grunting ] 158 00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,830 How did it go? 159 00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:18,970 Anyway, Justin, this is so great of you to do, man. 160 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,138 You know, Nicki just really 161 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,473 wanted to be together with her friends. 162 00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:23,141 Mm, Parker was nice enough 163 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,143 to fly a few of them over on his jet. 164 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,445 [ Chuckles ] 165 00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:28,447 Hmm, oh, i have a plane, too, 166 00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,016 but I crashed it over near the bar. 167 00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:36,388 Just do me a favor and take care of her. 168 00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:38,089 Oh. Of course. I-i will. 169 00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:39,758 Bring it in. Come on. 170 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,159 Okay. Hey. 171 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,161 Yeah, there's a moment you don't see too often, huh? 172 00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,463 Two great guys 173 00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:46,264 and a torch being passed in between them. 174 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,633 Right? Ah. 175 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,502 Parker, take the torch. 176 00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:51,903 I know how it works around here, 177 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:55,507 and it's not gonna end until you take the torch. 178 00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:58,343 Oh, well, you're touching the fire part, so... 179 00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,178 don't touch the fire part. 180 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,848 There's flames. 181 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,850 Oh, you're not gonna want to use that hand, 182 00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:06,685 'cause you badly burned it, so... 183 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:07,886 Go ahead. 184 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:08,888 There you go. Ah. 185 00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:10,589 There it is. Beautiful moment. 186 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,023 [ Both chuckle ] 187 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,558 Yeah. 188 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,661 You doing okay? 189 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,897 God, yes. 190 00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,532 I mean, she ended up with a tech millionaire. 191 00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:22,868 If that's what she wants, i never stood a chance. 192 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,002 [ Scoffs ] 193 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,704 You know, he's Filipino, 194 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:28,206 and they're known for their vigorous lovemaking. 195 00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:36,348 I guess Nicki's gonna be the one with the biracial baby. 196 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:38,850 All right. 197 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,353 The point is, i did everything I could 198 00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:43,188 to try to get her back, and it didn't work. 199 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:46,057 It just wasn't meant to be. 200 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,359 Hey, Justin, i just wanted to, uh... 201 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:48,593 Uh, you know what, Parker? 202 00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:50,128 The torch thing is over now. You can just drop it. 203 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,663 Oh. 204 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:54,332 Justin kearney, you know, as advertised... 205 00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,868 The looks, the swagger, the total package over here. 206 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,436 Hey, screw you, Parker! 207 00:08:58,438 --> 00:08:59,504 Danny, what are you doing? 208 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,006 Well, he's obviously being sarcastic, 209 00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,207 so I'm sticking up for you! 210 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,342 Not at all. Justin is one of the coolest... 211 00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,645 Oh, are you serious right now?! 212 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:09,848 Hey, hey, hey! Put your fist down! 213 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,450 Put it away! 214 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:13,685 You should know, Justin, 215 00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,453 that it almost didn't work out because of you. 216 00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,722 For the first few months, Nicki would make it very clear 217 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,558 that if you were to move to Lansing for her, 218 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:20,959 then we were through. 219 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,494 Every time the doorbell rang, 220 00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:23,828 I thought to myself, "is today the day 221 00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:26,131 that Justin takes her away from me?" 222 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:28,300 So what you're saying is if I just drove 223 00:09:28,302 --> 00:09:31,469 the, you know, 90 minutes every weekend, 224 00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:34,906 I, uh... I could have ended up with Nicki. 225 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,308 [ Chuckles ] No, that... That's ridiculous. 226 00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:38,209 Oh. I mean, 227 00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,745 we breezed down here in under an hour. 228 00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:51,389 Justin, uh, thanks for never showing up. 229 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,992 [ Chuckling ] Okay. Thank you. Oh. All right. 230 00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:56,494 [ Sighs ] 231 00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:59,364 Oh, boy. 232 00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:00,765 [ Sighs ] 233 00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:09,341 Okay, this time it's definitely on purpose. 234 00:10:09,343 --> 00:10:11,743 But I'll still go with it. 235 00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:20,185 Burski, you really pissed me off. 236 00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:22,187 And so part of your punishment 237 00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:24,956 is that this outfit is for you. 238 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:30,395 Apparently, revenge is a dish best served smoking-hot. 239 00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,564 And when a dog makes a mistake on your carpet, 240 00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:34,199 you rub his nose in it. 241 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:38,370 I would love to rub my nose on your carpet. 242 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,642 [ Sighs ] If you could have just been 243 00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:45,977 a decent guy, maybe we would have kissed. 244 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,979 We definitely would have danced. 245 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,014 And I'm a fan of the occasional 246 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,515 hand on the butt when I'm dancing. 247 00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:53,077 Brett, tell the man what he's missing. 248 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,621 Okay, firm. 249 00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:59,324 Ooh, it's a little bit hungry. 250 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,059 [ Giggles ] She's making it wobble! 251 00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:03,328 Shelly, come over here and feel this. It's wobbling. 252 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:06,798 [ Giggling ] Ooh, it tickles! 253 00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:10,702 Candace, bring it. 254 00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:12,370 Okay. 255 00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:13,872 Wow! 256 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:19,911 I can't tell if I'm grabbing it of it it's grabbing me. 257 00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:24,315 See, tonight could have been the night 258 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:25,817 that all your dreams came true. 259 00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:29,521 But instead, the silent treatment starts now. 260 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:33,625 Classic burski. 261 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,831 Brett: Hey, Candace, what's wrong with you? 262 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,433 It's not burski? 263 00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:45,036 Oh, it's Leslie's bum-bum. 264 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,939 All I have is a scrawny little white-girl butt. 265 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,607 But you know what? 266 00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:51,543 There's people out there that like those, too, right? 267 00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:55,113 Ohh, sweetie. 268 00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:58,917 No. 269 00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:06,291 Finally closed the door on Nicki, and... 270 00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:07,826 And Parker just throws it wide open! 271 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,195 I mean, what if she still has feelings for me? 272 00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:11,863 I have to talk to her. Hey, hey, look, you know what? 273 00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:13,698 That's a great idea, but I've got an even better idea 274 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,700 that I guarantee everyone's gonna like more. 275 00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:18,636 don't do that? 276 00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:20,672 If romantic comedies have taught me anything, 277 00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:22,507 it's that wedding-related events are the perfect time 278 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,676 to tell someone how you feel! 279 00:12:24,678 --> 00:12:26,010 I can't keep saying this to you. 280 00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:28,213 Your life is not a romantic comedy. 281 00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:32,817 That's just what the best friend would say! 282 00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:35,386 This is my movie. 283 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:38,356 He's the rich guy who has everything, 284 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:41,359 and I'm the blue-collar guy she can't quite get over. 285 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,995 Now, sure, I'm not much for book-learnin'... 286 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,201 But I could fix things. 287 00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:51,936 You can't just casually walk up to her 288 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,772 and let her know how you feel. 289 00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,607 You're right. 290 00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:59,611 This is a romantic comedy. I need a much bigger gesture. 291 00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,546 Okay, guys, we talked about this! 292 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,314 [ Cawing ] 293 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,584 Attention... no! 294 00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:09,020 No, what are you... doing?! 295 00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:18,797 Okay, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told my mom 296 00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,465 when she'd tell me to stop shooting hoops outside 297 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,800 because it was raining. 298 00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:24,435 "Get out of my way, Beverly! I'm going back out there!" 299 00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,938 Hey, man. 300 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,573 I can't let you do that. 301 00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:30,909 You don't even know anything about love. 302 00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:33,077 [ Scoffs ] 303 00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:34,579 [ Chuckles ] 304 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:37,448 I was in love once. 305 00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:41,619 Ah, that beautiful hair, those big... big brown eyes, 306 00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:45,757 and the way our hands just fit perfectly together. 307 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:52,530 Holy crap, he's talking about himself! 308 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:56,301 We knew each other so well, 309 00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:58,203 it's like sometimes I'd feel like... 310 00:13:58,205 --> 00:13:59,971 We could finish each other's sentences! 311 00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:02,207 [ Laughs ] 312 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:07,645 You're an insane person. Goodbye. 313 00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,981 What... what is that... Come here. 314 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:12,817 Hey! don't do... what is that?! 315 00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:14,552 Get down here. All right. 316 00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,988 Get off me! 317 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,223 You okay here, Danny? 318 00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,624 Go have fun. 319 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:26,731 Hey, les, could I talk to you for a second? 320 00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,399 [ Sighs ] 321 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:31,402 [ Indistinct whispering ] 322 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:34,072 Uh, Leslie is still not speaking to you, 323 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,074 but she's willing to talk to you through me. 324 00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:40,044 I'm sorry. I was an idiot. 325 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,949 No, no, it's okay. I got this. I got this. 326 00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:47,785 We both know that you're just apologizing to me 327 00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:49,787 because you thought i might kiss you. 328 00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:52,490 Well, of course i want to kiss you. 329 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:57,095 You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. 330 00:14:57,097 --> 00:15:01,466 Treat me that way. 331 00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:09,807 You really hurt me. 332 00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:12,810 Yeah, we've had some really nice moments together, 333 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,712 but I feel like those aren't even real. 334 00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,547 You're just trying to hook up with me. 335 00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:19,183 Why would you make me feel that way? 336 00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:20,852 The other day, i got my yearly physical. 337 00:15:20,854 --> 00:15:23,354 You know, they take your blood, they check your heart, 338 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:26,157 they put a finger up your butt. 339 00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:28,693 They don't do that till you're 40. 340 00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:31,055 They do if you ask. I mean... 341 00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:37,368 Anyway, I was filling out the paperwork, 342 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:40,238 and when I got to the line that said "significant other," 343 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,808 I know it's stupid, but it made me sad. 344 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:46,778 What do you want from me, bursk? 345 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:50,281 I'd like to dance with you, Leslie. 346 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,283 I'm actually kind of a decent dancer, 347 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:55,553 and it makes me seem... Kind of normal. 348 00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,458 Can you itch my thigh? I can't reach it. 349 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,126 No! 350 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,428 And you know what? 351 00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,663 Consider this the last time i ever give you a hug. 352 00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:06,731 You don't like hugs, huh? 353 00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,399 Then I guess it's time to stop struggling 354 00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,401 and time to start snuggling. 355 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:13,638 [ Grunting ] 356 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,974 [ Whimpers ] All right. Come on, stop. 357 00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:17,141 Yes! 358 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,309 All right. 359 00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,079 How do you think it's gonna go out there, huh? 360 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,314 I'm gonna grab the Mike, make the perfect speech. 361 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,450 Nicki's gonna cry and run up to me and hug me, 362 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,485 and somebody's gonna queue a great pop song, 363 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,021 and then a... An old aunt is gonna be like, 364 00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:33,024 "oh, now... Now it's gettin' good." 365 00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,692 Then we'll live happily ever after, 366 00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,027 sell the movie rights, 367 00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:37,862 and the last line in the movie will be, 368 00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:41,299 "who the hell is Parker?" 369 00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:44,702 You know what, man? I'm begging you... 370 00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,070 don't go out there. 371 00:16:46,072 --> 00:16:48,840 Give me one good reason. 372 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:50,441 Because she might say yes. 373 00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:54,912 I may not know about love, but I know you, all right? 374 00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,914 You think you stayed in Detroit because of this bar 375 00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:58,750 and a bunch of your goofy friends? 376 00:16:58,752 --> 00:17:00,084 No. 377 00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:03,821 If you loved Nicki half as much as I love myself, then... 378 00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,259 You would have driven to Lansing 379 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,761 and risked it all to spend the rest of your life with her. 380 00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:11,863 But you know what? You didn't. 381 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:14,365 And you didn't do that because deep down, 382 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,601 you knew it was the wrong thing to do. 383 00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,770 So don't go out there and ruin her life 384 00:17:18,772 --> 00:17:20,438 just 'cause you feel lonely. 385 00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:28,413 You know what? I'm so glad... 386 00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:32,083 That we found each other? [ Laughs ] 387 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,657 ¶ That's what they don't see, mm-mm ¶ 388 00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,159 ¶ I'm dancing on my own ¶ 389 00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:43,995 so... if I was willing to dance with you, 390 00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:46,097 what would that look like? 391 00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:49,100 Oh, my god, this is happening. Um, okay. 392 00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,601 Do you mind if I make a grand entrance? 393 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:51,603 Go nuts. 394 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:54,439 ¶ But I keep cruising ¶ 395 00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:56,107 ¶ can't stop, won't stop grooving ¶ 396 00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,910 um, can we, uh, cut the music real quick? 397 00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:00,078 ¶ It's like I got this mu... ¶ 398 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,513 [ music stops ] 399 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,220 Damn it. 400 00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:14,192 Hello, everybody. Um... 401 00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:19,530 Listen, I just wanted to say that we, uh... 402 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,032 W-well, we spend our lives 403 00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:23,334 looking for that special someone. 404 00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:27,071 And just like in every romantic comedy, that... 405 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:33,010 That special someone was right in front of me all along. 406 00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,879 Nicki... 407 00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:38,083 Look, actually, could you just move? 408 00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:40,852 'Cause the special person's right behind you. 409 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,088 It's you, Danny. 410 00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:47,391 It's always been you. 411 00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:56,434 Oh, now it's getting good. 412 00:18:56,436 --> 00:19:01,472 So I'd like to make a toast to Danny Burton. 413 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,874 [ Chuckles ] Yeah. 414 00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:05,543 Oh, and, uh, you know, Nicki and Parker, congrats. Yay. 415 00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:07,612 Okay. 416 00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:10,148 [ Grunts ] To Danny! 417 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,590 To Danny! To Danny! To Danny! To Danny! 418 00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:16,387 Hey, man, thanks. 419 00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:20,424 [ Weakly ] It's great to see you. 420 00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:25,129 It's great to see you. 421 00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:27,451 [ Chuckling ] I'm kidding. 422 00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:34,338 [ Weakly ] It's great to see you. 423 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:38,242 [ Weakly ] It's great to see you. 424 00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:44,115 [ Voice breaking ] It's great to see you. 425 00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:54,258 It's a fun bar. 426 00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:58,763 Take a picture. We're never coming back. 427 00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:01,265 You know I'm gonna get you back. 428 00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:02,667 I know. 429 00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:04,001 May I still have that dance? 430 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,804 The deejay already left. There's no music. 431 00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:07,972 Justin? Justin: Huh? 432 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,040 Got the keyboard ready? 433 00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:11,002 So, we're ready to jam. Let's go. 434 00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:14,979 [ Clears throat ] 435 00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:17,048 [ Keyboard playing ] 436 00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:22,286 Candace: ¶ burski and Leslie ¶ 437 00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:26,791 ¶ they're starting to dance ¶ 438 00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:28,960 ¶ out on the floor ¶ 439 00:20:28,962 --> 00:20:33,197 ¶ and I bet Leslie would be way more comfy ¶ 440 00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:36,767 ¶ if she was in sweatpants ¶ 441 00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:42,807 ¶ I think at this point they both realize ¶ 442 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:45,376 ¶ that they don't want to do this ¶ 443 00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:49,714 ¶ it's really uncomfortable because it's so slow ¶ 444 00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:54,952 ¶ and they don't bring out the best in each other ¶ 445 00:20:58,324 --> 00:20:59,824 god, I can't believe I'm gonna do this. 446 00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:02,159 Okay, just please don't tell anyone. 447 00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:04,328 About what? 448 00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:07,098 This. 449 00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:10,968 Now we're even. 450 00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:13,738 ¶ Burski and Leslie ¶ 451 00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:16,774 ¶ oh, they're dancing ¶ 452 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,009 ¶ well, I don't ¶ 453 00:21:18,011 --> 00:21:21,746 ¶ I don't think that they're gonna work out ¶ 454 00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:26,217 ¶ why don't you just try some online dating? ¶ 32887

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