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1
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[music playing]
2
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[non-english speech]
3
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Venerable ancestors, 1,000
years ago the evil one
4
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,241
was driven from the
face of the globe.
5
00:00:33,324 --> 00:00:35,785
As we've been foretold,
there would come a time
6
00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:40,623
when evil, corruption, and
perversion would rise again,
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00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,710
and the evil one would
be able to return.
8
00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:46,129
That time is now.
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00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,756
At the end of
Mercury's next journey,
10
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:50,675
the dragon shall dance
through the hoop of Jupiter.
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00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:54,846
If at that moment, the
monkey will ride the jaguar,
12
00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:57,348
and the tiger will
feast on the nubile,
13
00:00:57,474 --> 00:01:00,810
the order of the universe will
be such that the evil one will
14
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reign supreme for eternity.
15
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:06,941
There is only one being who
can confront the evil one.
16
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,319
The chosen one is on
his way to us now.
17
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:18,244
I'm gonna kill you.
18
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,705
Hey!
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A 560SL?
20
00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:23,833
Outrageous.
21
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Arthur, when'd you get it?
22
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Hey.
23
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This baby is my commission on
that Stuart Pandex takeover.
24
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,925
You were in on Stuart Pandex?
25
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You lucky bastard.
26
00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:33,885
Hey.
27
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,428
Luck had nothing to do with it.
28
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:38,348
My cleaning lady's nephew's
son works for Reginald Stuart.
29
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:40,892
I knew about that
deal six months ago.
30
00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:41,768
Hey.
31
00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:43,061
Inside information?
32
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:44,687
That's illegal.
33
00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:48,191
And this, my friend, is
a Mercedes convertible.
34
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And it's all mine.
35
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[laughter]
36
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:17,554
Hello.
37
00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,266
[screaming]
38
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:27,105
Bye bye, Kabukiman.
39
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:30,608
Looks like you and your
family are through!
40
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:37,907
You can kill me, but you can't
kill the spirit of Kabukiman.
41
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,201
Your husband Ichiro can't
make it to his performance
42
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,953
tonight, sweetheart.
43
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:47,083
Too bad, 'cause you're going
to be the hit on Broadway!
44
00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:48,710
I'm telling you man.
45
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:53,798
With newsreels, the babes are
gonna be falling all over you.
46
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:58,803
-Huh?
-Oh my.
47
00:02:58,928 --> 00:02:59,762
Dear me.
48
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:00,722
What happened?
49
00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:01,598
Where did she come from?
50
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,833
Here you go buddy.
Get yourself a cup of coffee.
51
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,960
GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER):
Griswold's the name,
52
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:34,964
Sergeant Harry Griswold, NYPD.
53
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,884
This city can take
its toll on some.
54
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,302
Don't get me wrong.
55
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:42,138
There are a lot of nice
qualities about this town,
56
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,474
and some not so nice.
57
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,310
I was following up on a lead to
what some might consider just
58
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:50,313
another New York City massacre--
a pretty woman thrown out
59
00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:52,649
of a high rise window,
her Japanese husband
60
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:57,528
disemboweled, and their two
kids turned into shredded wheat.
61
00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:58,821
I was supposed to
be having dinner
62
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,324
with a friend and
coworker, Connie LaRosa,
63
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,159
and looking forward to it.
64
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,703
Instead, I stopped at my
favorite sidewalk cafe
65
00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:08,915
for a quick bite and was
on my way to some kind
66
00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:11,417
of amateur kabuki performance.
67
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:12,961
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen,
68
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:17,257
and welcome to lifestyles of
the wealthy and well known.
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00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:20,760
Today, we are in a glamorous
New York City theater,
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00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:24,472
where just about to begin
is a special performance
71
00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:27,850
of the first Manhattan
Kabuki Players' adaptation
72
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of the Kabuki Couple.
73
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:33,356
Tonight, we are fortunate to
focus our spotlight of glamour
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00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:38,027
on Mr. Reginald Stuart, New
York billion businessman
75
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,862
and philanthropist.
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00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,447
Good evening, Mr. Stuart.
77
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:42,782
Good evening, Brian.
78
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:44,284
It's a great pleasure
to be with you tonight.
79
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,536
Your Stuart Foundation
provided the funding
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00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:47,745
for tonight's performance.
81
00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:48,621
That's right.
82
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:49,580
We did.
83
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:50,999
At the Stuart
Pandex Corporation,
84
00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:53,084
we believe that corporate
funding is the best way
85
00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:54,752
to bring culture to the masses.
86
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:57,380
The reason we've sponsored this
particular kabuki performance
87
00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:58,923
is that I myself
have been personally
88
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:01,718
interested for a long time
in the work of Mr. Sato
89
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,595
and his family who have
trained this amateur troupe.
90
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,556
Five minutes to
curtain, Mr. Sato.
91
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:10,143
My revered elder stands
ready to pass the gift
92
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:13,313
and raise the
spirit of Kabukiman.
93
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,690
He will now consume
the banquet of joining.
94
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,396
GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): My
boss, Captain Bender, told me
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00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,190
the Japanese
entertain themselves
96
00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:59,484
by going to the kabuki theater.
97
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:03,154
It's a tradition that's been
going on for hundreds of years.
98
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:04,655
The men dress up
like women, and do
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00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:07,241
some kind of poses
in slow motion,
100
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,744
and make some kind
of weird noises.
101
00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:11,162
[moaning]
102
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,623
I had no idea what
I was getting into.
103
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,250
What I did know was that
I had missed another date
104
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:17,877
with Connie LaRosa.
105
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,465
Grandfather, I grow nervous.
106
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,258
The performance
has already begun
107
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,344
and the Chosen One
has not yet arrived.
108
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,471
If he's not here
to receive the gift
109
00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:30,264
when the moon hangs from
the eye of the squid,
110
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:32,392
what will transpire?
111
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:36,229
Hey, Asuka-san, you
must have some hand.
112
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,901
If something has
befallen Ichiro,
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00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:44,904
will you pass the ancient
kabuki powers to me?
114
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:50,952
But Grandfather!
115
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,836
[applause]
116
00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:10,680
[moaning]
117
00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:20,565
Hey, Felix-san.
118
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,526
This place is a real mess.
119
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:27,196
Why do you guys always
make such a mess?
120
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,992
Eat, eat, eat,
drink, drink, drink.
121
00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:32,869
It's all you ever do.
122
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,871
Stop complaining.
123
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,414
Are you in?
124
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,748
[moaning]
125
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:38,624
I must call.
126
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:44,005
[moaning]
127
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:48,009
Hey, stop it.
128
00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:50,386
Cut that out, Felix-san.
129
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:52,180
Do something, Oscar-san.
130
00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,014
Do something.
131
00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:06,569
[grunting]
132
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:23,044
[gunshot]
133
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,009
[gunshots]
134
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:32,386
[screaming]
135
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,972
[gunshots]
136
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:39,560
[laughter]
137
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,524
[gunshots]
138
00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:48,945
[screaming]
139
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:55,868
[gunshots]
140
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:00,665
This is great, huh?
141
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:01,832
Lot better than I expected.
142
00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:06,837
Everybody freeze!
143
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:07,797
Police!
144
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,215
[gunshot]
145
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,218
Get out of the way.
146
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:13,177
Move it.
147
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:14,053
I'm on top of it!
148
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:20,560
[gunshots]
149
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:21,602
Oh my god.
150
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:24,313
I don't believe what I'm seeing.
151
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:27,441
The performers are being mowed
down by cheaply dressed thugs
152
00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:32,280
brandishing expensive, custom
made automatic weapons!
153
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,660
[screaming]
154
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,080
[gunshots]
155
00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:46,002
Bullets fly and rip my flesh.
156
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:49,046
Even I am not immune
to the dazzling gunplay
157
00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:51,090
as I am almost cut in half.
158
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:56,929
It's truly mind-numbing,
more fabulous in its scope
159
00:09:57,013 --> 00:10:01,100
than-- than even the
fabulous Drum Princess.
160
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,185
[gunshots]
161
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,186
Shoot her.
Go ahead.
162
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,021
Shoot her.
163
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:14,196
[screaming]
164
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,658
What are you doing?
165
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:19,118
I think I just saved
your life, Miss.
166
00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:22,872
Remove yourself from
my body, you filthy oaf!
167
00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:27,335
You're welcome.
168
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:28,252
Hey.
169
00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:30,212
Hey, what are you doing?
170
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,756
Hey, knock it off!
171
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:00,701
[sirens wailing]
172
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,286
Let's get outta here.
173
00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:04,497
Will you guys relax?
174
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,957
We're supposed to
be having fun here!
175
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:29,063
[speaking japanese]
176
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:49,542
Itsumo something crazy!
177
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,339
OK.
178
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,007
I'm wearing a dress.
179
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,843
First, I'm kissed by a guy.
180
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,094
Now I'm wearing a dress.
181
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:00,928
Fine.
182
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,975
How did it feel watching
your grandfather being
183
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:08,561
mowed down by machine guns?
184
00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:10,104
[sobbing]
185
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:14,150
Police!
186
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,568
Freeze.
187
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:18,154
Now could you ladies, you guys,
tell me exactly what happened?
188
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,740
When the bullets started
flying, I hit the floor.
189
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,491
Yeah, it was like
something out of the movies,
190
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,826
you know what I mean?
-I need numbers.
191
00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:24,827
Did you see anybody.
-There were five of them.
192
00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:25,494
12
193
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,830
There were give.
194
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:30,207
We don't wanna get involved.
195
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:31,041
Whoa!
196
00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:34,420
Freeze!
197
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,175
GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER):
That was the kind of boss
198
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,261
Captain Bender was,
always around when
199
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,221
things were going wrong.
200
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:47,099
I know this is a hard
and trying time for you,
201
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:48,893
but what did you
think when you saw
202
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:52,396
rivulets of blood flowing down
his beautiful kabuki costume?
203
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:57,651
GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER):
I had to admit,
204
00:12:57,735 --> 00:13:00,446
I felt pretty silly
wearing a kabuki dress.
205
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:03,407
And my fellow officers being
there only made matters worse.
206
00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:13,334
[alarm wailing]
207
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,059
Rembrandt, what could
possibly have been running
208
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:31,727
through your mind when
you decided to shoot up
209
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,062
and entire theater.
210
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:34,897
We almost achieved our goals.
211
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:39,068
There's no reason to draw
attention to our operation now.
212
00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:40,152
Now I'm gonna have
to get involved
213
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,696
and wipe all your little asses.
214
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,281
[buzzing]
215
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:45,699
Yes?
216
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,409
SECRETARY (ON PHONE): Reverend
Snipes is here to see you, sir.
217
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,245
Snipes is here.
218
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,205
Send him in.
219
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:52,790
[door opens]
220
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,421
Reverend Snipes,
so good to see you.
221
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:02,800
What brings you here at
such an ungodly hour?
222
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:05,427
Who are you kidding, Reggie?
223
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,222
We got business to discuss.
224
00:14:08,305 --> 00:14:09,098
Oh?
225
00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:11,058
Have we?
226
00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:14,436
You bet your
corporate butt we do.
227
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:18,232
Your little contributions
to my youth center
228
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:20,484
just aren't going
as far as they used
229
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:22,611
to, if you know what I mean.
230
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:27,616
I got expenses and an overhead
like you wouldn't believe.
231
00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:30,077
And I have no
intentions of running
232
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,831
a non-profit organization.
233
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:37,084
So what is your
point, Reverend?
234
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,295
I tell my people
to stop patronizing
235
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:43,382
some of your businesses,
like that fast food chain.
236
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:46,135
And you'll feel that power
give you a good, hard kick
237
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:48,512
in that fat wallet of yours.
238
00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:52,975
I also got a certain
female police detective
239
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,977
who's been on my ass lately.
240
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,605
And I'm sure you wouldn't
want any word leaking out
241
00:14:57,605 --> 00:15:03,694
about your long term financial
involvement in my organization,
242
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,363
if you catch my meaning.
243
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,198
I think so.
244
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:16,957
Sir, you can't
come in here, sir.
245
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:17,791
Get your hands off me.
I go where I please.
246
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,585
You can't.
247
00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:23,088
Uncle Reggie, sorry for
barging in, but we gotta talk.
248
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,131
Excuse me, Reverend.
249
00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:25,925
This will only take a second.
250
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:27,051
What is it, Skipper?
251
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,677
I thought we had
an agreement here.
252
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:30,429
I thought we had a relationship.
253
00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:32,973
I was gonna take the rap for
that shit at the theater.
254
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:35,225
You were gonna get me off
and make me a Vice President
255
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:38,020
with a corner office--
no jail, no conviction,
256
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,689
nothing-- just a couple of
mug shots and a statement,
257
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:41,690
and that's it.
258
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,150
That was our understanding.
259
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,527
But I just spent the past
four hours down in the can
260
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,821
with some real criminals,
waiting for your guy
261
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:49,782
to come bail me the hell out!
262
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,325
Do you know what it's
like to be violated
263
00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:54,870
by a 300 pound Filipino
skinhead named Gunther?
264
00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:55,996
It ain't non picnic!
265
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,623
Ah, Skipper, Skipper.
266
00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:59,333
Calm down, boy.
267
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:02,670
I guarantee you'll never
spend another night in jail.
268
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:06,215
[silenced gunshot]
269
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:09,802
Use the magazine.
270
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,720
He's getting blood all
over my new carpet.
271
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,558
Always wanted to be on the
cover of the Financial Week,
272
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:17,893
Skippy.
273
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,813
Here's your shot.
274
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:22,606
You look great.
275
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:23,732
Now let's see.
276
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,734
Where were we?
277
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:26,819
Ah, yes.
278
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:29,446
You were threatening me.
279
00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:34,743
You're nothing but a third
rate conman, Reverend Snipes.
280
00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:37,246
But I have a need for you.
281
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:40,582
That is, if you think
you can play hardball.
282
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,169
Are you ready for the
major leagues, Reverend?
283
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:46,296
Good.
284
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,510
There's a lot of
tension in the city now.
285
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:55,097
And I want you to keep
the flame on high.
286
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:58,058
When it starts to
boil over, I'll
287
00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:00,436
be there to arm the revolution.
288
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:04,189
And when it gets out
of control, I'll be
289
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:07,443
there to restore order again.
290
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:13,574
And then, Reverend, then
you'll see real power.
291
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:16,118
[opera music playing]
292
00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,245
Kabukiman.
293
00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:20,265
GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): When I
showed up at the station house
294
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:22,267
the next day, I
knew the boys would
295
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,770
be making jokes at my expense.
296
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:31,527
This is what's known
as an erect nipple.
297
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:32,945
Hey, Harry.
298
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:36,115
Where's your pretty dress?
299
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:37,616
Your mother wanted it back.
300
00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:38,367
Yeah right.
301
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,828
Hey, its Madame Butterfly.
302
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:42,121
You want some milk, Harry?
303
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:45,916
LaRosa.
304
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:48,043
Hey, Connie.
305
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,878
You know, this
whole thing has been
306
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,547
blown way out of proportion.
307
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:52,381
Sure, sure, Harry.
308
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:53,799
You're gonna be all right.
309
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:02,766
Listen, Connie.
310
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:04,309
What do you say we try
for dinner again tonight.
311
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,561
I don't know what it is,
but I hate to say it.
312
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:08,063
I have this craving
for Japanese food.
313
00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,231
Yeah?
314
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,567
LaRosa, have dinner
with me tonight.
315
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,318
What do you say, Connie?
316
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:18,031
I'd like to, Harry, but I
gotta be in court tonight.
317
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,074
Hey, look.
318
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,617
I usually go jogging after work.
319
00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:22,911
You wanna join me?
320
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:23,745
No.
321
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,372
Running.
322
00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:28,959
I'll be wearing my new
spandex jogging shorts.
323
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:36,091
I was just saying to myself I
should get some more exercise.
324
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,259
Spandex?
325
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:38,468
Forget it, Harry.
326
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:41,096
You don't have the
legs for spandex!
327
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:44,308
Besides, Bender wants to
see you in his office now.
328
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,525
Do you come to this jail often?
329
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:57,529
Oh, I'm a steady patron here.
330
00:19:57,613 --> 00:20:01,033
But yes!
331
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:02,951
Commissioner, look.
332
00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:05,287
I understand that!
333
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:08,624
Look, I'll do it.
334
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:11,001
Damn!
335
00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:11,835
You're busy.
336
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:12,753
I'll come back.
337
00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:13,712
Griswold, sit down!
338
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,967
Now about last night.
339
00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:20,052
OK, OK.
340
00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,470
I can explain.
341
00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:24,723
OK, first of all, it wasn't
a dress I was wearing.
342
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,225
It was a kimono.
343
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,809
I don't wanna know.
344
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:30,395
I just wanna tell you that while
you were playing geisha girl,
345
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,898
Reginald Stuart's security
men captured the perp.
346
00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:33,732
What?
347
00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:35,025
You heard me.
348
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,319
Some cracked out wacko did it.
349
00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:38,779
Seems he had it in
for Japanese ever
350
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:42,199
since he got fired for using
drugs at a Toyota plant.
351
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:43,492
I was there.
352
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,702
There were at least
five guys shooting.
353
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:48,330
Yeah, the other men were
Stuart's security men.
354
00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:51,083
And by the way, you
shot four of 'em!
355
00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:53,335
Fortunately, they're
OK and Reginald Stuart
356
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:55,337
advised them not to press
any charges against you.
357
00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:58,215
But you owe your ass
to Reginald Stuart.
358
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,092
There's no way those
guys were security.
359
00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:02,970
They-- they were
shooting at the actors!
360
00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:04,429
They were shooting at me!
361
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,556
Harry, you're not
fucking listening to me.
362
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:07,599
Look.
363
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:09,601
We got the guy who
shot up the theater.
364
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,019
I got eyewitnesses who IDed him.
365
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,354
I got signed,
notarized statements,
366
00:21:12,479 --> 00:21:14,231
and I got a confession.
367
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,233
Case closed.
368
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:17,067
Who's this?
369
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:17,901
That's the perp.
370
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:20,988
You see?
371
00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:22,030
I told you.
372
00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:24,533
That's not the guy.
373
00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:26,702
Harry, you don't
get it, do you?
374
00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:27,327
That's it.
375
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:28,704
The case is closed.
376
00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:29,496
Look.
I'm happy.
377
00:21:29,579 --> 00:21:30,372
The Commissioner's happy.
378
00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:31,415
The Mayor's happy.
379
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,208
And Reginald Stuart is happy.
380
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:34,918
And there's one other loose end.
381
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:37,462
There's a woman waiting for
you in the interrogation room.
382
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:39,548
She says she was at
the theater last night.
383
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:41,800
The old man who was killed
was her grandfather.
384
00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:44,803
Find out what she wants
and give her the good news.
385
00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:45,637
But--
386
00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:46,305
But nothing!
387
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:47,222
That's it!
388
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,724
The case is closed.
389
00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:53,228
You have a very
important new assignment,
390
00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:54,896
the Goldberg dry cleaning case.
391
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,357
I'm taking Joseph off and
I'm putting you on it.
392
00:21:57,441 --> 00:21:59,568
Goldberg Dry Cleaners?
393
00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:02,904
Those three stupid
stolen shirts?
394
00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:06,325
It's four, and they're
my stupid, stolen shirts!
395
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,118
Now get to it!
396
00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:21,715
This is the part where
you leave, Griswold.
397
00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:24,676
Holy cow.
398
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:25,302
There.
399
00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:26,595
She's naked.
400
00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:27,346
What?
401
00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:29,014
Is it Felicia the Flasher?
402
00:22:36,104 --> 00:22:38,565
[phone ringing]
403
00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:47,366
Sergeant Griswold,
I do not have
404
00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:49,409
much time, so I'll be brief.
405
00:22:51,953 --> 00:22:54,748
A regrettable twist
of fate has chosen you
406
00:22:54,831 --> 00:22:58,293
as a recipient of amazing,
super mortal powers
407
00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:00,128
that have been passed
down through generations
408
00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,506
of kabuki actors in my family.
409
00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:04,716
Please, consume the
banquet of joining
410
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,718
in honor of your benefactors.
411
00:23:09,137 --> 00:23:10,514
What?
412
00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:11,306
Eat!
413
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,140
All right.
414
00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:13,058
That's it.
415
00:23:13,141 --> 00:23:13,975
I am outta here.
416
00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:19,689
Oh, oh, oh.
417
00:23:19,815 --> 00:23:21,024
I get it.
418
00:23:21,149 --> 00:23:22,317
This is a joke, right?
419
00:23:22,442 --> 00:23:24,736
This is no joke, Detective.
420
00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:27,364
The changes in you
have already begun.
421
00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:29,991
I saw the markings on
your face at the theater.
422
00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:31,535
Look at how you are dress now.
423
00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:34,663
The spirit of Kabukiman
lives within you.
424
00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:35,539
Eat!
425
00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:41,878
Oh, look, Miss.
426
00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:46,133
Please.
427
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:54,516
Uh.
428
00:23:54,641 --> 00:23:55,934
I'm sorry about what happened.
429
00:23:56,017 --> 00:23:59,729
And I know you've
suffered a terrible loss.
430
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:03,024
But I have some
good news for you.
431
00:24:03,150 --> 00:24:05,152
They caught the guy who
killed your grandfather.
432
00:24:08,113 --> 00:24:08,864
You
433
00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:09,781
Fool!
434
00:24:09,865 --> 00:24:11,366
They do not have
the one responsible
435
00:24:11,491 --> 00:24:13,034
for my grandfather's death.
436
00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:14,369
Why do you say that?
437
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:17,998
Because my grandfather
was not killed by a man.
438
00:24:18,081 --> 00:24:22,169
His death was orchestrated by
the spirit of the evil one.
439
00:24:22,252 --> 00:24:24,254
Evil spirits?
440
00:24:24,379 --> 00:24:25,505
Come on now.
441
00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:26,715
You're a full grown
woman, all right?
442
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,384
You just talk to me
in normal English.
443
00:24:29,509 --> 00:24:32,596
At the end of
Mercury's next journey,
444
00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:34,848
the Dragon shall dance
through the hoop of Jupiter.
445
00:24:34,931 --> 00:24:36,057
Jup--
446
00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:38,643
And at that moment, the
Monkey will ride the Jaguar
447
00:24:38,727 --> 00:24:40,854
and the Tiger will
feast on the Nubile.
448
00:24:40,937 --> 00:24:43,440
The order of the universe
will be such that the evil one
449
00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:45,484
will reign for eternity.
450
00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:49,821
Now do I make myself
perfectly clear?
451
00:24:49,905 --> 00:24:50,655
Oh yeah.
452
00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:51,656
Yeah.
453
00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:52,282
Fine.
454
00:24:52,407 --> 00:24:53,825
Mhm.
455
00:24:53,909 --> 00:24:57,871
I"ll send a squad car over
right away to pick up Mr. Evil.
456
00:24:57,954 --> 00:25:01,666
Now just one question
for the big money.
457
00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:04,252
Who is the evil one?
458
00:25:04,377 --> 00:25:05,337
Five seconds.
459
00:25:05,420 --> 00:25:07,047
I do not know!
460
00:25:07,130 --> 00:25:09,799
You're the detective!
461
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:15,138
Yes, I am the detective
and you are a fruit loop!
462
00:25:15,263 --> 00:25:17,265
Do not treat me as an inferior.
463
00:25:17,390 --> 00:25:18,642
I am easily your better!
464
00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:20,685
If only the order
of the universe
465
00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:23,063
were not so unfair
to womankind, I
466
00:25:23,146 --> 00:25:24,856
would have been chosen
to receive the gift
467
00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:26,608
and would not now
be dealing with such
468
00:25:26,733 --> 00:25:30,445
a penis-wielding
imbecile as yourself!
469
00:25:30,570 --> 00:25:32,572
You will find me when
the time is right.
470
00:25:36,034 --> 00:25:37,536
[door closes]
471
00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:40,539
GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER):
I didn't buy
472
00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:42,874
that story the Captain
gave me about Reginald
473
00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:44,459
Stuart and his men.
474
00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:46,378
So I decided to go
over to his office
475
00:25:46,461 --> 00:25:48,630
and see what Mr.
Stuart was up to.
476
00:25:48,755 --> 00:25:50,465
SECRETARY (ON PHONE): Shall
I say you're in a meeting?
477
00:25:50,590 --> 00:25:52,926
STUART: No, let's see what
the little fella wants.
478
00:25:57,138 --> 00:25:57,889
How you doing, boys?
479
00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:04,104
Oh, oh.
480
00:26:04,187 --> 00:26:07,148
Hey, I hope I'm not
interrupting something.
481
00:26:07,274 --> 00:26:08,149
I'll just--
482
00:26:08,275 --> 00:26:09,067
Not at all.
483
00:26:09,150 --> 00:26:10,151
Please, just come in.
484
00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:12,320
I hope you won't mind
if I won't get up?
485
00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:14,406
No, no, no.
486
00:26:14,489 --> 00:26:15,740
Whatever.
487
00:26:15,824 --> 00:26:17,409
Fine.
488
00:26:17,492 --> 00:26:19,035
Ah, not so hard.
489
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:20,328
That's better.
490
00:26:20,453 --> 00:26:23,999
Ah, now it's Mr. Oswold, is it?
491
00:26:24,124 --> 00:26:25,375
Sergeant Griswold.
492
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:29,170
Well, how many I be of service
to you, Detective Griswold?
493
00:26:29,254 --> 00:26:32,340
I understand that your company
financed the Japanese theater
494
00:26:32,465 --> 00:26:34,050
troupe that was
attacked last night,
495
00:26:34,175 --> 00:26:38,054
and that your men
helped break it up.
496
00:26:38,179 --> 00:26:39,681
Griswold, of course.
497
00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:41,725
You're the officer
who shot my employees.
498
00:26:41,850 --> 00:26:43,977
Well, you need not worry,
Detective Griswold.
499
00:26:44,060 --> 00:26:46,646
I've advised them not to
press charges against you.
500
00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:51,443
You were, after all, just
doing your job, weren't you?
501
00:26:51,526 --> 00:26:53,945
Ah, finished.
502
00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:54,988
Great, Amanda.
503
00:26:55,071 --> 00:26:57,073
Absolutely great.
504
00:26:57,198 --> 00:26:59,951
Thank you so much, dear.
505
00:27:00,035 --> 00:27:02,037
They were a little more
scuffed than usual, Mr. Stuart,
506
00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:05,790
but the hard brush
took care of it.
507
00:27:05,874 --> 00:27:08,293
Have you ever considered
working in the private sector,
508
00:27:08,376 --> 00:27:10,420
Detective Griswold.
509
00:27:10,545 --> 00:27:14,299
You could afford so
many nice things.
510
00:27:14,382 --> 00:27:16,051
I don't need nice things.
511
00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:26,061
Isn't that an
authentic Shogun sword
512
00:27:26,144 --> 00:27:31,358
from the Tokugawa Ieyasu
Shogunate manufactured
513
00:27:31,441 --> 00:27:35,987
in Edo in, I'd say, 1630?
514
00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:37,030
Why, yes.
515
00:27:37,113 --> 00:27:38,823
As a matter of fact,
it is a Tokugawa,
516
00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:42,369
and it was made in Edo.
517
00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:45,538
But how did you know that?
518
00:27:45,622 --> 00:27:46,373
How did I know that?
519
00:27:49,793 --> 00:27:53,088
It's such a
beautiful instrument,
520
00:27:53,213 --> 00:27:54,339
so perfectly balanced.
521
00:27:57,592 --> 00:27:58,343
May I?
522
00:27:58,426 --> 00:27:59,177
Please.
523
00:28:15,777 --> 00:28:17,529
[speaking japanese]
524
00:28:17,612 --> 00:28:18,780
Detective Griswold.
525
00:28:18,905 --> 00:28:21,199
Detective Griswold.
526
00:28:21,282 --> 00:28:23,326
Detective Griswold!
527
00:28:23,451 --> 00:28:24,327
Oh.
528
00:28:24,452 --> 00:28:25,161
Oh.
529
00:28:27,997 --> 00:28:29,874
[gasp]
530
00:28:34,129 --> 00:28:35,588
I hope that wasn't expensive.
531
00:28:35,672 --> 00:28:36,423
Expensive?
532
00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:40,844
That vase cost just
a little bit more
533
00:28:40,969 --> 00:28:43,680
than you're likely to make ever.
534
00:28:45,974 --> 00:28:47,016
GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER):
And I thought
535
00:28:47,142 --> 00:28:48,435
it was best I left
things the way
536
00:28:48,518 --> 00:28:50,478
they were with Reggie Stuart.
537
00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:54,774
Anyway, I had a very important
appointment with Connie LaRosa.
538
00:28:54,858 --> 00:28:57,527
it was my big chance
to impress her.
539
00:28:57,652 --> 00:28:59,112
Yo, Grizz.
540
00:28:59,195 --> 00:29:00,280
Looking good.
541
00:29:00,363 --> 00:29:01,156
Come on.
542
00:29:01,281 --> 00:29:01,990
I wanna see you sweat.
543
00:29:04,617 --> 00:29:06,786
You do this to
yourself everyday?
544
00:29:06,870 --> 00:29:08,455
No, I usually run 10 miles.
545
00:29:08,538 --> 00:29:13,168
But today, since you're here,
I think we'll only do 3.
546
00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:15,670
Besides, we should save
our energy for later.
547
00:29:15,795 --> 00:29:16,504
Later?
548
00:29:16,629 --> 00:29:18,631
Yeah, later.
549
00:29:18,715 --> 00:29:19,466
Connie?
550
00:29:19,549 --> 00:29:21,593
CONNIE: Yeah?
551
00:29:21,676 --> 00:29:22,802
I gotta stop now or I'll die.
552
00:29:26,347 --> 00:29:27,849
Not bad, Grizz.
553
00:29:27,974 --> 00:29:29,559
I expected you to
boot two laps ago.
554
00:29:29,684 --> 00:29:32,353
You're an animal,
LaRosa, an animal.
555
00:29:32,479 --> 00:29:35,940
I don't know, but if you're
after this Reverend Snipes guy,
556
00:29:36,024 --> 00:29:38,193
I almost pity the poor bastard.
557
00:29:38,318 --> 00:29:39,861
You know all those
wonderful youth centers
558
00:29:39,986 --> 00:29:41,404
he's got set up all over town?
559
00:29:41,529 --> 00:29:44,365
Well, it just so happens
that he's using it as a front
560
00:29:44,491 --> 00:29:46,367
for a major drug operation.
561
00:29:46,493 --> 00:29:49,037
And he's got this huge
corporation, Stuart Pandex,
562
00:29:49,162 --> 00:29:50,872
paying for the whole thing.
563
00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:52,582
Stuart Pandex?
564
00:29:52,707 --> 00:29:53,833
As in, Reginald Stuart?
565
00:29:53,917 --> 00:29:55,877
You know how Snipes
passes himself off
566
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:58,213
as this anti-establishment
activist,
567
00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:01,341
like he's some kind of man of
the street, friend to the poor?
568
00:30:01,424 --> 00:30:03,885
Well, it just so happens
that he's a major shareholder
569
00:30:03,968 --> 00:30:05,637
in Stuart Pandex.
570
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:11,559
And not only that, Harry, he
hasn't paid taxes in years!
571
00:30:11,684 --> 00:30:14,312
Hasn't paid taxes?
572
00:30:14,395 --> 00:30:15,480
He oughtta run for mayor.
573
00:30:15,563 --> 00:30:18,358
I got enough to bust
this guy right now, Harry.
574
00:30:18,441 --> 00:30:20,151
I just gotta put all
the information together
575
00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:21,236
for Bender.
576
00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:22,987
I'm gonna make detective
for this one, Harry.
577
00:30:25,657 --> 00:30:28,493
You deserve it, Connie.
578
00:30:28,576 --> 00:30:29,869
You're a good cop.
579
00:30:29,953 --> 00:30:31,704
You think so, Harry?
580
00:30:31,788 --> 00:30:33,665
You know I do.
581
00:30:33,748 --> 00:30:35,416
Tonight.
582
00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:36,251
Thanks.
583
00:30:45,969 --> 00:30:47,470
I think I'll run
a few more laps.
584
00:30:47,595 --> 00:30:48,429
You'll wait here for me?
585
00:30:52,475 --> 00:30:54,602
Knock yourself out.
586
00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:56,437
GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): What
kind of a detective was I?
587
00:30:56,521 --> 00:31:00,108
LaRosa was after Snipes, but
Snipes was gonna get LaRosa.
588
00:31:00,233 --> 00:31:01,526
I should have been
there for her.
589
00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:06,197
Hey, you.
590
00:31:06,281 --> 00:31:08,825
You, haven't I seen you around
Reverend Snipes' youth center,
591
00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:10,910
snooping around the boys?
592
00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:12,036
The boys just love spandex.
593
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,621
Hey, what's the
matter with you?
594
00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:15,623
I was just kidding, sweetheart.
595
00:31:15,707 --> 00:31:16,875
Get off.
596
00:31:16,958 --> 00:31:19,460
[laughter]
597
00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:22,755
Enjoy your spandex!
598
00:31:22,839 --> 00:31:24,465
You just got yourself a
bunch of new boyfriends.
599
00:31:36,144 --> 00:31:37,437
Hey!
600
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:38,813
Get the freaking bitch!
601
00:31:38,938 --> 00:31:39,814
Come on, let's go.
602
00:31:39,898 --> 00:31:40,857
Come on.
603
00:31:50,658 --> 00:31:51,367
Get off me!
604
00:31:54,871 --> 00:31:57,332
[screaming]
605
00:32:06,841 --> 00:32:09,093
We'll pleasure
you, policewoman.
606
00:32:09,177 --> 00:32:09,928
Connie!
607
00:32:14,807 --> 00:32:17,101
[screaming]
608
00:32:17,185 --> 00:32:21,272
Scream for your
life, sugar pie.
609
00:32:21,356 --> 00:32:22,273
Freeze, police!
610
00:32:33,743 --> 00:32:36,245
[gunshots]
611
00:33:13,074 --> 00:33:16,577
This guy's not normal.
612
00:33:16,703 --> 00:33:17,578
Something's wrong here.
613
00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:22,583
What the--
614
00:34:42,121 --> 00:34:43,081
What the hell?
615
00:34:49,128 --> 00:34:52,131
Kabukiman sanjo.
616
00:34:54,675 --> 00:34:57,178
[opera music playing]
617
00:35:19,033 --> 00:35:22,537
Hey, who put that there?
618
00:35:22,662 --> 00:35:25,123
[growling]
619
00:35:38,010 --> 00:35:38,928
Die.
620
00:35:39,053 --> 00:35:42,723
Gonna mess you up, dead meat.
621
00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:50,398
Yoohoo.
622
00:36:06,330 --> 00:36:07,540
Come on, man.
Let's go.
623
00:36:07,623 --> 00:36:08,541
Come on.
624
00:36:08,624 --> 00:36:09,542
One more time.
625
00:36:09,625 --> 00:36:10,376
Come on.
626
00:36:18,968 --> 00:36:20,469
Stop.
627
00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:21,262
Stay back.
628
00:36:21,387 --> 00:36:22,889
This is police business.
629
00:36:22,972 --> 00:36:24,599
Hit the deck!
630
00:36:24,724 --> 00:36:25,433
Come on.
631
00:36:32,106 --> 00:36:32,815
Whoa!
632
00:36:37,069 --> 00:36:38,696
You're going down, faggot!
633
00:36:48,289 --> 00:36:50,791
Oh my god!
634
00:36:50,917 --> 00:36:52,293
Using chopsticks!
635
00:36:52,418 --> 00:36:54,921
You'd suppose he'd
use knives and forks.
636
00:37:02,428 --> 00:37:05,139
You clumsy carnival cop!
637
00:37:05,181 --> 00:37:08,684
What are you gonna do to me, a
poor, defenseless woman, huh?
638
00:37:08,809 --> 00:37:09,644
A woman alone!
639
00:37:09,769 --> 00:37:11,437
Argh!
640
00:37:11,854 --> 00:37:14,315
And besides, that striped
outfit looks ridiculous.
641
00:37:14,523 --> 00:37:15,650
Sounds like my ex-wife.
642
00:37:30,331 --> 00:37:32,166
Oh, here .
You want this?
643
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:33,584
Here you go.
644
00:37:45,346 --> 00:37:47,848
[sirens wailing]
645
00:37:53,854 --> 00:37:54,730
Connie!
646
00:37:54,855 --> 00:37:56,274
Office, don't
bother taking notes.
647
00:37:56,357 --> 00:37:58,150
Only three people were killed.
648
00:37:58,234 --> 00:38:00,236
But I feel much safer
in the park now.
649
00:38:00,361 --> 00:38:03,114
This guy in the
bathrobe is a real hero.
650
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:04,532
A real New York hero, huh?
651
00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:05,491
Yeah.
652
00:38:05,574 --> 00:38:06,325
Connie!
653
00:38:11,956 --> 00:38:13,040
I'm sorry.
654
00:38:13,165 --> 00:38:14,792
I-- I shouldn't have
let this happen.
655
00:38:20,006 --> 00:38:21,382
What are you doing here?
656
00:38:21,465 --> 00:38:22,800
-Freeze, you two!
-Don't shoot!
657
00:38:22,883 --> 00:38:23,634
Stop.
658
00:38:23,718 --> 00:38:24,260
I'm a cop.
659
00:38:24,385 --> 00:38:25,219
I'm a cop.
660
00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:26,429
I have a badge.
661
00:38:26,554 --> 00:38:27,555
I'm Harry Griswold.
662
00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:28,889
Griswold?
663
00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:32,101
Hey, I hear about this guy
running around with makeup on.
664
00:38:32,226 --> 00:38:33,936
All right, Griswold.
665
00:38:34,061 --> 00:38:35,313
Let me see your shield.
666
00:38:35,396 --> 00:38:38,816
Where the-- oh.
667
00:38:38,899 --> 00:38:39,984
It's over here.
668
00:38:40,067 --> 00:38:40,860
Slowly.
669
00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:48,075
Holy shit.
670
00:38:48,159 --> 00:38:48,909
It is Griswold!
671
00:38:48,993 --> 00:38:49,785
Yeah.
672
00:38:49,910 --> 00:38:50,870
Yeah, that's the guy.
673
00:38:50,953 --> 00:38:52,288
He did it to us.
674
00:38:52,413 --> 00:38:54,957
Shut up, you weenie!
675
00:38:55,082 --> 00:38:55,791
Pig!
676
00:38:58,085 --> 00:38:59,879
GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): Lotus
and I rode in the ambulance
677
00:38:59,962 --> 00:39:02,423
with LaRosa, but the
doctors made us leave
678
00:39:02,548 --> 00:39:04,508
and so Lotus and
I decided to wait
679
00:39:04,592 --> 00:39:07,094
it out in an Italian
restaurant across the street.
680
00:39:07,219 --> 00:39:09,513
I was depressed,
and I was confused,
681
00:39:09,597 --> 00:39:11,891
and I was turning Japanese.
682
00:39:11,974 --> 00:39:12,725
Here's your fish!
683
00:39:16,395 --> 00:39:17,563
What kind of a
schmuck orders raw
684
00:39:17,646 --> 00:39:18,773
fish in an Italian restaurant?
685
00:39:27,948 --> 00:39:30,534
I've been craving
raw mackerel all day.
686
00:39:34,288 --> 00:39:35,581
I can't believe this.
687
00:39:35,664 --> 00:39:39,627
I'm eating a smelly, dead
fish, and I'm loving it.
688
00:39:39,752 --> 00:39:44,298
Are you so blind you cannot
see the changes in yourself?
689
00:39:44,423 --> 00:39:47,510
Detective, soon the
Dragon will dance
690
00:39:47,635 --> 00:39:48,969
through the hoop of Jupiter.
691
00:39:49,053 --> 00:39:51,597
If at that moment, the
Monkey will ride the Jaguar
692
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:53,682
and the Tiger will
feast on the Nubile,
693
00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:56,977
the order of the universe will
be such that the evil one will
694
00:39:57,103 --> 00:39:58,479
reign supreme for eternity!
695
00:39:58,562 --> 00:40:01,315
There are only a few days left!
696
00:40:01,399 --> 00:40:02,566
Oh, oh my.
697
00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:05,194
And I haven't even
started shopping yet.
698
00:40:05,319 --> 00:40:09,073
The Chosen One who was killed
had trained for 25 years.
699
00:40:09,156 --> 00:40:11,951
If we do not begin to try
and master your powers,
700
00:40:12,034 --> 00:40:15,079
there will be no champion
to oppose the evil one.
701
00:40:15,162 --> 00:40:16,122
Champion?
702
00:40:16,205 --> 00:40:18,165
This champion stuff, I'm sorry.
703
00:40:18,249 --> 00:40:21,293
They didn't have the champion
course at the Police Academy.
704
00:40:21,377 --> 00:40:23,754
I'm just a gun and badge man.
705
00:40:23,838 --> 00:40:26,382
You do not have a
choice in the matter.
706
00:40:26,507 --> 00:40:27,925
Fate has selected you.
707
00:40:28,008 --> 00:40:30,970
You are the Kabukiman.
708
00:40:31,053 --> 00:40:32,346
It is your duty.
709
00:40:32,471 --> 00:40:33,681
NEWSCASTER (ON TV): A
New York City policewoman
710
00:40:33,764 --> 00:40:35,266
was brutally raped and
beaten in a Central
711
00:40:35,349 --> 00:40:36,434
Park wildling incident today.
712
00:40:36,517 --> 00:40:38,018
I can't believe it.
713
00:40:38,102 --> 00:40:39,353
NEWSCASTER (ON TV): We now take
you live to Reverend Snipes,
714
00:40:39,478 --> 00:40:40,771
outspoken community leader.
715
00:40:40,855 --> 00:40:42,523
What is it?
716
00:40:42,648 --> 00:40:44,775
I'm an angry man tonight.
717
00:40:44,859 --> 00:40:46,861
And I hope I'm not
alone in my anger.
718
00:40:46,944 --> 00:40:50,823
When man children are persecuted
for youthful indiscretions
719
00:40:50,906 --> 00:40:54,910
as though they were hardened
criminals, it makes me angry!
720
00:40:55,035 --> 00:40:57,246
The media circus
that's been generated
721
00:40:57,371 --> 00:41:01,417
by this minor incident
makes me angry!
722
00:41:01,542 --> 00:41:05,671
You know and I know that
your television cameras
723
00:41:05,754 --> 00:41:08,549
and your newspaper reporters
would be nowhere in sight
724
00:41:08,674 --> 00:41:10,968
if those involved
had been the children
725
00:41:11,051 --> 00:41:18,142
of privilege instead of these
innocent victims of poverty.
726
00:41:18,225 --> 00:41:22,813
Why do we hear about the
deadly transvestite detective,
727
00:41:22,897 --> 00:41:24,773
the sadist in a
striped bathrobe--
728
00:41:24,899 --> 00:41:27,109
[gunshots]
729
00:41:27,234 --> 00:41:30,237
Publicity-hungry jackass!
730
00:41:30,321 --> 00:41:32,406
He's more trouble
than he's worth.
731
00:41:32,531 --> 00:41:34,158
I never should have
given him the assignment.
732
00:41:34,241 --> 00:41:36,535
I told you to let me handle it.
733
00:41:36,619 --> 00:41:38,496
You were right.
734
00:41:38,579 --> 00:41:39,830
Rembrandt's always right.
735
00:41:39,914 --> 00:41:42,208
Rembrandt, I want you
to insert yourself much
736
00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:43,459
more deeply into the situation.
737
00:41:43,584 --> 00:41:44,877
Yes, sir.
738
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:46,253
That policewoman does not
live through the night,
739
00:41:46,337 --> 00:41:47,087
you understand?
740
00:41:47,171 --> 00:41:48,422
Yes, sir.
741
00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:52,593
Rembrandt, this time, be
a little less artistic.
742
00:41:52,718 --> 00:41:55,471
Just make it look like
a simple accident, OK?
743
00:41:57,598 --> 00:41:59,808
Gee, officer, LaRosa,
it's such a shame
744
00:41:59,934 --> 00:42:01,644
that the hospital's gonna
make a slight mistake
745
00:42:01,769 --> 00:42:03,479
with your dosage.
746
00:42:06,815 --> 00:42:08,275
Goodbye, Officer LaRosa.
747
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:09,485
Hello, Doctor.
748
00:42:09,610 --> 00:42:11,695
Well, excuse me, Doctor.
749
00:42:11,779 --> 00:42:13,405
You're too important to
speak to a lowly nurse.
750
00:42:13,489 --> 00:42:15,699
Boy, that burns me down.
751
00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:18,410
Well, dear, it's time
for your aspirin.
752
00:42:18,494 --> 00:42:20,162
[muffled shouting]
753
00:42:20,287 --> 00:42:24,124
Gee, I guess you're not doing
as well as I thought you were.
754
00:42:24,208 --> 00:42:25,459
My goodness.
755
00:42:25,543 --> 00:42:27,962
That's a lot of morphine
the Doctor's prescribed.
756
00:42:28,087 --> 00:42:28,629
Oh well.
757
00:42:28,712 --> 00:42:29,630
Doctor knows best.
758
00:42:29,713 --> 00:42:32,174
[muffled shouting]
759
00:42:35,010 --> 00:42:35,761
Yes, dear.
760
00:42:35,844 --> 00:42:38,764
I know you're in a lot of pain.
761
00:42:38,847 --> 00:42:41,350
But you're gonna be
all right in a minute.
762
00:43:00,494 --> 00:43:01,245
Holy shit.
763
00:43:06,333 --> 00:43:07,209
Connie LaRosa.
764
00:43:07,334 --> 00:43:08,377
LaRosa's room, where is it?
765
00:43:08,502 --> 00:43:09,420
No visitors.
766
00:43:09,503 --> 00:43:10,212
What do you mean no visitors?
767
00:43:10,337 --> 00:43:11,046
Wait a--
768
00:43:16,176 --> 00:43:18,053
It wasn't my fault. I
was watching TV and then
769
00:43:18,178 --> 00:43:19,096
they just came in and--
770
00:43:19,179 --> 00:43:20,556
You were supposed
to give her aspirin.
771
00:43:20,681 --> 00:43:21,432
Look what you did to her.
772
00:43:21,515 --> 00:43:23,183
It killed her.
773
00:43:23,309 --> 00:43:24,476
She had a headache.
774
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:26,061
Now she's dead.
775
00:43:26,186 --> 00:43:27,062
What happened?
776
00:43:27,187 --> 00:43:28,564
DOCTOR: I'm gonna
be in big trouble.
777
00:43:28,689 --> 00:43:29,815
This is gonna go on
your permanent record.
778
00:43:29,898 --> 00:43:30,691
NURSE: No, don't let
it ruin my career.
779
00:43:30,774 --> 00:43:31,442
It was an accident!
780
00:43:31,525 --> 00:43:32,651
I'm sorry, sir!
781
00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:47,041
Connie?
782
00:43:51,545 --> 00:43:52,296
I'm telling you, Dick.
783
00:43:52,379 --> 00:43:53,672
LaRosa was murdered.
784
00:43:53,756 --> 00:43:55,424
She was murdered!
785
00:43:55,549 --> 00:43:57,384
I saw him in the
hospital, the same guy
786
00:43:57,509 --> 00:43:58,469
I saw shoot up the theater!
787
00:43:58,552 --> 00:44:00,262
And I told you, Griswold.
788
00:44:00,387 --> 00:44:02,556
The theater case is closed.
789
00:44:02,681 --> 00:44:03,432
Come on, Dick.
790
00:44:03,557 --> 00:44:04,475
Wake up.
791
00:44:04,558 --> 00:44:06,894
Something stinks here.
792
00:44:06,977 --> 00:44:08,562
All right.
793
00:44:08,646 --> 00:44:10,773
First, this Reginald
Stuart guy just hands
794
00:44:10,898 --> 00:44:13,233
us the supposed theater killer.
795
00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:16,737
Then Reverend Snipes, who
LaRosa was investigating,
796
00:44:16,862 --> 00:44:19,657
bails out the gang
that attacked LaRosa.
797
00:44:19,740 --> 00:44:22,326
And then the hospital
just happens to mix up
798
00:44:22,409 --> 00:44:25,287
LaRosa's charts and kills her?
799
00:44:25,412 --> 00:44:26,914
I'm telling you, Dick.
800
00:44:26,997 --> 00:44:29,500
The guy who shot up the theater
is the guy who killed LaRosa.
801
00:44:29,583 --> 00:44:32,670
And somehow Stuart and
Snipes are involved.
802
00:44:32,753 --> 00:44:34,296
Cut the crap, Griswold.
803
00:44:34,421 --> 00:44:35,589
You're not fooling anybody.
804
00:44:35,714 --> 00:44:37,091
If you'd have stuck
to being a cop instead
805
00:44:37,174 --> 00:44:40,344
of dancing around in your
fairy suit, none of this
806
00:44:40,427 --> 00:44:41,762
would have happened.
807
00:44:41,887 --> 00:44:43,389
LaRosa's dead 'cause
of you, asshole.
808
00:44:47,643 --> 00:44:48,519
Cut it out!
809
00:44:48,602 --> 00:44:50,104
Cut it out.
810
00:44:50,187 --> 00:44:52,481
Cut it out!
811
00:44:52,606 --> 00:44:53,524
Now, look.
812
00:44:53,607 --> 00:44:56,694
We're all upset about Connie.
813
00:44:56,777 --> 00:44:59,780
Yesterday, the
Commissioner calls
814
00:44:59,905 --> 00:45:02,074
me to take a bite out of
my ass the size of Brooklyn
815
00:45:02,157 --> 00:45:04,535
because one of my men is
running around harassing
816
00:45:04,618 --> 00:45:07,079
Reginald Stuart!
817
00:45:07,996 --> 00:45:10,082
Look, I got newspapers all over
my ass about a vigilante cop.
818
00:45:10,165 --> 00:45:11,417
This is it, Harry.
819
00:45:11,500 --> 00:45:12,751
This is the last warning.
820
00:45:12,835 --> 00:45:15,295
There will be no more
makeup, no more kimonos,
821
00:45:15,379 --> 00:45:18,132
and no more chopsticks!
822
00:45:18,215 --> 00:45:20,676
So you're just gonna
leave Snipes alone?
823
00:45:20,801 --> 00:45:22,636
Harry, Harry, get the hell out!
824
00:45:22,761 --> 00:45:23,470
Get the hell out!
825
00:45:23,595 --> 00:45:24,638
Get the hell out!
826
00:45:24,722 --> 00:45:25,472
Jesus Christ.
827
00:45:30,269 --> 00:45:31,937
GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER):
Something had to be done.
828
00:45:32,020 --> 00:45:35,065
Snipes had to be dealt with.
829
00:45:36,024 --> 00:45:38,902
REVEREND SNIPES: Brothers and
sisters, brethren and sistern,
830
00:45:38,986 --> 00:45:40,738
let me hear an amen.
831
00:45:40,821 --> 00:45:42,573
CONGREGATION: Amen!
832
00:45:42,656 --> 00:45:44,158
Hallelujah!
833
00:45:44,283 --> 00:45:45,784
REVEREND SNIPES: The good Lord
thanks you for your generosity.
834
00:45:45,868 --> 00:45:47,745
CONGREGATION: Preach the word!
835
00:45:47,828 --> 00:45:51,248
Your money will help
pay for the legal defense
836
00:45:51,331 --> 00:45:55,502
of these innocent young victims
of the wealthy elite who
837
00:45:55,627 --> 00:45:58,005
run this city.
838
00:45:58,088 --> 00:46:00,215
Now, I'm not gonna
ask you where you
839
00:46:00,340 --> 00:46:05,012
got all those watches
and jewelry that you so
840
00:46:05,137 --> 00:46:08,015
generously gave to your church.
841
00:46:08,098 --> 00:46:11,268
Because now is the time
to give with open arms.
842
00:46:11,351 --> 00:46:13,729
Boy, this stuff is
coming in hot and heavy.
843
00:46:13,854 --> 00:46:16,190
And there's plenty
more out there.
844
00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:18,442
Let me hear an amen!
845
00:46:18,525 --> 00:46:20,694
Amen!
846
00:46:20,819 --> 00:46:25,199
We must be strong against
the scourge of crime.
847
00:46:25,324 --> 00:46:27,242
Hallelujah!
848
00:46:27,367 --> 00:46:31,413
We must be strong against
the scourge of racists.
849
00:46:31,538 --> 00:46:35,250
But most of all, we must be
strong against the scourge
850
00:46:35,375 --> 00:46:36,543
of drugs!
851
00:46:36,668 --> 00:46:38,796
CONGREGATION: Tell
the word of God!
852
00:46:38,879 --> 00:46:41,423
Beware the dealers of drugs.
853
00:46:41,548 --> 00:46:43,217
For they are everywhere.
854
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:46,470
Why, some of those vultures
are standing across the street,
855
00:46:46,553 --> 00:46:48,972
peddling their poison even now.
856
00:46:49,056 --> 00:46:52,601
In fact, one of 'em's
wearing a big red hat,
857
00:46:52,726 --> 00:46:54,812
red like the Devil.
858
00:46:54,895 --> 00:46:57,523
You can't miss him!
859
00:46:57,606 --> 00:46:59,107
[chuckling]
860
00:47:22,297 --> 00:47:26,051
Reverend, Sargent
Harry Griswold.
861
00:47:26,134 --> 00:47:28,262
I wanna ask you some questions.
862
00:47:28,387 --> 00:47:30,764
My people have
been harassed enough
863
00:47:30,889 --> 00:47:33,725
by you and your
stormtrooper detectives.
864
00:47:33,809 --> 00:47:35,894
I have nothing to say.
865
00:47:37,938 --> 00:47:40,274
Well, then I'll talk.
866
00:47:40,399 --> 00:47:43,777
Because I think it's pretty
damn strange that these maggots
867
00:47:43,861 --> 00:47:46,530
you're defending
attacked a police officer
868
00:47:46,613 --> 00:47:48,615
that was investigating you.
869
00:47:48,699 --> 00:47:51,285
And now she's dead.
870
00:47:51,368 --> 00:47:55,873
How dare you come
into my-- I mean,
871
00:47:55,956 --> 00:47:59,668
the Lord's house and accuse me.
872
00:48:00,544 --> 00:48:05,465
I have more lawyers than
you've got fingers, junior.
873
00:48:07,467 --> 00:48:12,431
Sure, you're upset over
the accidental death
874
00:48:12,514 --> 00:48:14,975
of a fellow office.
875
00:48:15,058 --> 00:48:17,477
I understand.
876
00:48:17,603 --> 00:48:22,274
But from what I hear, she
was dressed pretty hot.
877
00:48:22,357 --> 00:48:24,151
Maybe she was in
the park looking
878
00:48:24,276 --> 00:48:28,530
for a little action, Detective.
879
00:48:30,157 --> 00:48:30,866
Ugh!
880
00:48:36,413 --> 00:48:38,373
Stay back.
881
00:48:38,498 --> 00:48:40,667
I can't be responsible
for what's gonna happen!
882
00:48:40,792 --> 00:48:41,501
Oh, that's it.
883
00:48:44,338 --> 00:48:47,633
Kabuki spirit, come on now!
884
00:48:54,848 --> 00:48:56,350
Stay back!
885
00:48:56,433 --> 00:48:58,560
He's turning into that guy in
the striped bathrobe again!
886
00:49:10,364 --> 00:49:11,114
All right.
887
00:49:15,619 --> 00:49:17,621
Nobody move!
888
00:49:17,704 --> 00:49:18,664
Watch him, man!
889
00:49:18,747 --> 00:49:19,706
He's crazy.
890
00:49:19,790 --> 00:49:21,583
You bastards.
891
00:49:21,708 --> 00:49:24,044
You killed LaRosa!
892
00:49:24,169 --> 00:49:27,047
Now I'm gonna get you.
893
00:49:27,130 --> 00:49:29,091
Don't kill me.
894
00:49:29,216 --> 00:49:32,010
I'll give you anything you want.
895
00:49:32,094 --> 00:49:33,136
I'll give you drugs.
896
00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:34,888
I'll give you women.
897
00:49:35,013 --> 00:49:38,100
I'll give you my season
tickets to the Giants!
898
00:49:38,225 --> 00:49:39,643
What do you want?
899
00:49:39,726 --> 00:49:41,436
I want you!
900
00:49:47,067 --> 00:49:49,277
Quit clowning with us, asshole.
901
00:49:49,444 --> 00:49:50,028
I warn you.
902
00:49:50,112 --> 00:49:51,822
I'll use my chopsticks!
903
00:49:59,830 --> 00:50:02,332
[squeaking]
904
00:50:10,799 --> 00:50:13,093
Where'd that clown go?
905
00:50:13,218 --> 00:50:15,095
Police emergency, kid.
906
00:50:15,220 --> 00:50:18,432
I need to commandeer
this vehicle.
907
00:50:18,557 --> 00:50:19,307
Now!
908
00:50:28,108 --> 00:50:28,817
Here.
909
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:57,637
Let's get out of here.
910
00:50:57,763 --> 00:51:00,640
Let me go!
911
00:51:00,766 --> 00:51:02,017
Let me go.
912
00:51:02,142 --> 00:51:05,228
What the hell are
you doing, boys?
913
00:51:06,730 --> 00:51:07,522
Hey, buddy.
914
00:51:07,522 --> 00:51:09,066
What's the matter with you?
915
00:51:10,734 --> 00:51:13,236
[screaming]
916
00:51:15,864 --> 00:51:16,615
A tricycle.
917
00:51:19,701 --> 00:51:20,619
A unicycle.
918
00:51:20,702 --> 00:51:22,662
This'll do.
919
00:51:23,288 --> 00:51:24,206
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
920
00:51:24,331 --> 00:51:25,165
Pardon me.
Excuse me.
921
00:51:25,248 --> 00:51:25,999
Pardon me.
Pardon me.
922
00:51:26,124 --> 00:51:27,042
Excuse me.
923
00:51:34,466 --> 00:51:35,008
Pardon me.
924
00:51:35,092 --> 00:51:35,842
Excuse me.
925
00:51:35,926 --> 00:51:37,010
Excuse me.
926
00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:38,678
Get out of the way.
Look out.
927
00:51:38,762 --> 00:51:39,596
Look out.
928
00:51:39,679 --> 00:51:40,597
Oh my god.
929
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:41,431
Look out.
930
00:51:46,061 --> 00:51:48,563
Oh my god.
931
00:51:48,688 --> 00:51:51,191
[screaming]
932
00:52:03,453 --> 00:52:05,038
Get him!
Get the clown!
933
00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:06,164
Shut up, weenie!
934
00:52:12,212 --> 00:52:12,921
[screaming]
935
00:52:13,046 --> 00:52:13,922
He's in the alley.
936
00:52:14,047 --> 00:52:14,756
Cut him off!
937
00:52:24,057 --> 00:52:24,891
Whoa!
938
00:52:25,016 --> 00:52:25,892
Get out of the way, honey.
939
00:52:26,017 --> 00:52:26,768
Watch out!
940
00:52:31,189 --> 00:52:32,107
Whoa!
941
00:52:41,700 --> 00:52:42,659
Kids, cheer up.
942
00:52:42,742 --> 00:52:44,244
Coco the Clown will
be here any moment.
943
00:52:44,327 --> 00:52:45,871
I paid full price in advance.
944
00:52:45,954 --> 00:52:47,122
I know he's coming, so cheer up.
945
00:52:47,247 --> 00:52:48,874
Come on, kids.
946
00:52:54,379 --> 00:52:56,840
Follow him into the park.
947
00:52:56,923 --> 00:52:58,258
Bring your gun!
948
00:52:58,341 --> 00:52:59,968
You see this cute little thing?
949
00:53:00,093 --> 00:53:00,844
Come on now.
950
00:53:00,927 --> 00:53:02,345
Work.
951
00:53:02,429 --> 00:53:04,848
I paid a lot of money for
these noisemakers, you guys.
952
00:53:04,931 --> 00:53:08,727
That stupid clown was supposed
to be here a half-hour ago.
953
00:53:08,810 --> 00:53:11,938
I knew I should have used
Ms. Priscilla the Magician.
954
00:53:15,025 --> 00:53:15,942
Look, look.
955
00:53:16,026 --> 00:53:17,277
Here he comes.
956
00:53:17,402 --> 00:53:19,487
Well, at least he's hurrying.
957
00:53:19,613 --> 00:53:20,488
Kids, kids.
958
00:53:20,614 --> 00:53:21,489
Smile.
959
00:53:21,615 --> 00:53:22,115
Kids, look.
960
00:53:22,240 --> 00:53:23,158
I hate clowns.
961
00:53:23,283 --> 00:53:24,034
Now it's a party.
962
00:53:24,117 --> 00:53:25,660
Now have some fun.
963
00:53:25,785 --> 00:53:28,663
Nancy Niffisant said that
when you first got here,
964
00:53:28,788 --> 00:53:30,665
you would do your act next
to the little birthday girl.
965
00:53:30,790 --> 00:53:33,293
And now will you bring out
the two-headed poodle now?
966
00:53:33,376 --> 00:53:34,461
I don't want--
967
00:53:34,544 --> 00:53:36,838
[gunfire]
968
00:53:38,340 --> 00:53:39,466
GRISWOLD: Happy birthday!
969
00:53:47,307 --> 00:53:48,433
Outta my way!
970
00:53:51,311 --> 00:53:52,812
Get outta here.
971
00:53:52,896 --> 00:53:53,813
Get outta here.
972
00:54:12,832 --> 00:54:14,751
[burp]
973
00:54:21,216 --> 00:54:23,134
Awesome party.
974
00:54:23,218 --> 00:54:25,303
Where'd you get all the guns?
975
00:54:32,769 --> 00:54:33,520
Wait a minute.
976
00:54:33,603 --> 00:54:35,063
I don't have my safety belt on.
977
00:54:35,188 --> 00:54:38,024
Come on with that, you weenie.
978
00:54:39,150 --> 00:54:41,027
Stop in the name of the law.
979
00:54:41,152 --> 00:54:43,446
There's a clown
on the windshield.
980
00:54:43,530 --> 00:54:45,240
Do something about it!
981
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:51,621
Get rid of him.
982
00:54:51,705 --> 00:54:53,039
We can't see.
983
00:54:53,123 --> 00:54:54,040
Come on.
984
00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:54,874
Swerve.
985
00:55:30,994 --> 00:55:31,911
Get off!
986
00:55:31,995 --> 00:55:32,912
Get rid of him!
987
00:55:32,996 --> 00:55:33,913
Get off!
988
00:55:37,417 --> 00:55:39,419
Good to see you,
Captain Bender.
989
00:55:39,502 --> 00:55:41,254
And I hope they
catch the bastard
990
00:55:41,338 --> 00:55:42,505
that stole your three shirts.
991
00:55:42,589 --> 00:55:43,673
Well, that's four shirts.
992
00:55:43,757 --> 00:55:45,342
But don't worry about it, Herb.
993
00:55:45,425 --> 00:55:48,928
I got my best man on
it-- Harry Griswold.
994
00:55:49,012 --> 00:55:50,680
Pull it over!
995
00:55:50,764 --> 00:55:52,891
He wants you to pull it over.
996
00:55:52,974 --> 00:55:53,892
So?
997
00:55:53,975 --> 00:55:55,018
Pull it over.
998
00:55:55,101 --> 00:55:55,852
Yeah, I'll take
care of the bozo.
999
00:55:59,314 --> 00:56:00,231
He's still there.
1000
00:56:00,315 --> 00:56:01,775
Do something!
1001
00:56:01,900 --> 00:56:04,194
Oh no!
1002
00:56:04,277 --> 00:56:06,571
He's using Silly String.
1003
00:56:06,654 --> 00:56:08,782
Now we really can't see!
1004
00:56:08,865 --> 00:56:10,325
[scream]
1005
00:56:11,659 --> 00:56:12,911
Once again, thank
you very much.
1006
00:56:12,994 --> 00:56:13,745
Thank you.
1007
00:56:13,828 --> 00:56:14,371
Thank you.
1008
00:56:14,454 --> 00:56:15,747
Get him off!
1009
00:56:15,830 --> 00:56:16,748
Move!
1010
00:56:16,831 --> 00:56:17,374
Get him!
1011
00:56:17,457 --> 00:56:18,708
I can't see!
1012
00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:22,128
Take care.
1013
00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:24,130
Have a good day.
1014
00:56:24,214 --> 00:56:26,091
[honking]
1015
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:37,644
Look what you made
me do, you weenie!
1016
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:43,817
What did you do to
the car, you weenie?
1017
00:56:43,942 --> 00:56:44,484
You're the driver.
1018
00:56:44,567 --> 00:56:45,318
[police siren]
1019
00:56:45,443 --> 00:56:46,403
Cops.
1020
00:56:46,486 --> 00:56:47,779
Let's get outta here.
1021
00:56:47,862 --> 00:56:52,325
Good thing I had
my safety belt on.
1022
00:56:52,409 --> 00:56:54,327
Oh.
1023
00:56:54,411 --> 00:56:55,870
Oh, my head.
1024
00:56:55,995 --> 00:56:57,247
Oh god.
1025
00:56:57,330 --> 00:57:00,834
Why did they-- what the hell?
1026
00:57:00,917 --> 00:57:01,626
Oh god.
1027
00:57:01,709 --> 00:57:04,170
What did they do to me?
1028
00:57:04,295 --> 00:57:05,505
What did they do?
1029
00:57:05,630 --> 00:57:08,842
Uh, Mr. Goldberg,
Detective Harry Griswold.
1030
00:57:08,925 --> 00:57:10,343
I need to ask you
a few questions
1031
00:57:10,468 --> 00:57:12,053
about the shirt robbery.
1032
00:57:12,178 --> 00:57:15,557
[rambling]
1033
00:57:16,891 --> 00:57:19,310
Now were the shirts in
boxers, or on hangers, or--
1034
00:57:19,394 --> 00:57:21,521
Freeze!
1035
00:57:21,604 --> 00:57:22,897
Don't shoot.
Don't shoot.
1036
00:57:23,022 --> 00:57:23,648
It's me.
1037
00:57:23,731 --> 00:57:24,983
It's me, Harry Griswold.
1038
00:57:25,066 --> 00:57:26,151
Ha, Harry Griswold.
1039
00:57:26,234 --> 00:57:28,736
I know Harry-- holy shit.
1040
00:57:28,862 --> 00:57:29,904
It is Griswold.
1041
00:57:30,029 --> 00:57:32,532
Griswold, what the hell
are you doing here?
1042
00:57:32,615 --> 00:57:33,700
What did you do?
1043
00:57:40,540 --> 00:57:41,583
GRISWOLD: I'm-- I'm innocent.
1044
00:57:41,708 --> 00:57:42,542
OFFICER: Get in
the car, you clown.
1045
00:57:42,667 --> 00:57:43,042
GRISWOLD: I didn't do it!
1046
00:57:46,087 --> 00:57:46,880
Nice dissolve, huh?
1047
00:57:50,341 --> 00:57:51,801
BENDER: Harry, you're suspended.
1048
00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:52,969
Suspended?
1049
00:57:53,052 --> 00:57:53,720
Look, Harry.
1050
00:57:53,845 --> 00:57:55,221
Look, I tried to warn you.
1051
00:57:55,305 --> 00:57:57,223
[squeaky horn]
1052
00:57:59,058 --> 00:58:02,979
But this clown thing
is the last straw.
1053
00:58:03,062 --> 00:58:06,566
I got Snipes pressing
charges against you.
1054
00:58:06,649 --> 00:58:08,735
Damn matches.
1055
00:58:08,818 --> 00:58:09,611
Thank you.
1056
00:58:21,247 --> 00:58:25,210
L-- let me help you, Captain.
1057
00:58:25,293 --> 00:58:31,424
Not to mention, a kid who tells
me that you stole his tricycle?
1058
00:58:31,508 --> 00:58:33,927
Reginald Stuart is
bent out of shape?
1059
00:58:34,052 --> 00:58:36,429
The newspapers are using
you to make a laughingstock
1060
00:58:36,554 --> 00:58:37,597
of the entire force.
1061
00:58:37,722 --> 00:58:41,017
[echoing laughter]
1062
00:58:42,810 --> 00:58:44,145
Turn that damn thing off.
1063
00:58:47,273 --> 00:58:48,399
But Snipes--
1064
00:58:48,483 --> 00:58:53,905
Forget a-- Harry,
forget about Snipes.
1065
00:58:53,988 --> 00:58:55,949
Look.
1066
00:58:56,032 --> 00:58:59,202
You know if it was up to me,
I'd give you another chance.
1067
00:58:59,285 --> 00:59:00,620
I'd give you another shot.
1068
00:59:00,745 --> 00:59:02,664
But the word's coming down
from the top this time
1069
00:59:02,789 --> 00:59:08,461
and-- give me your gun,
and give me your shield.
1070
00:59:08,586 --> 00:59:10,797
Give this thing a
chance to cool down, OK?
1071
00:59:21,015 --> 00:59:22,308
I'm sorry, Harry.
1072
00:59:27,689 --> 00:59:28,773
GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): OK.
1073
00:59:28,856 --> 00:59:30,650
So things had
gotten out of hand.
1074
00:59:30,775 --> 00:59:33,903
There was only one thing
left to do-- go see Lotus.
1075
00:59:33,987 --> 00:59:37,991
I figured maybe she could
turn things around for me.
1076
00:59:38,116 --> 00:59:40,994
[doorbell]
1077
00:59:49,377 --> 00:59:51,004
I didn't know she had a butler.
1078
00:59:55,592 --> 00:59:57,302
Excusez-moi.
1079
00:59:59,178 --> 00:59:59,929
Howdy.
1080
01:00:11,316 --> 01:00:12,734
How you doing?
1081
01:00:16,446 --> 01:00:18,531
Listen.
1082
01:00:18,656 --> 01:00:22,535
I'm sorry about my
behavior before.
1083
01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:24,120
You're right.
1084
01:00:24,203 --> 01:00:27,415
I do need to learn how to
control whatever this thing
1085
01:00:27,540 --> 01:00:30,335
that's happening to me is.
1086
01:00:30,418 --> 01:00:31,544
Oh.
1087
01:00:31,669 --> 01:00:33,546
Look.
1088
01:00:33,671 --> 01:00:35,548
All gone.
1089
01:00:35,632 --> 01:00:37,550
Yummy worms.
1090
01:00:37,634 --> 01:00:39,594
Tasted just like chicken.
1091
01:00:39,719 --> 01:00:43,222
So what's with the monkey?
1092
01:00:43,306 --> 01:00:45,558
His name is Toyota.
1093
01:00:45,683 --> 01:00:46,976
Toyota?
1094
01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:50,271
LOTUS: He was born in
the backseat of a 2000GT.
1095
01:00:50,396 --> 01:00:52,732
I like a dog-face monkey
that has an appreciation
1096
01:00:52,815 --> 01:00:55,943
for expensive sports cars.
1097
01:00:56,069 --> 01:00:58,321
Please remove your
shoes, and Toyota will
1098
01:00:58,404 --> 01:01:00,990
bring you a change of clothing.
1099
01:01:01,074 --> 01:01:01,616
Clothing.
1100
01:01:01,741 --> 01:01:02,700
What size?
1101
01:01:07,372 --> 01:01:09,248
Please join me in meditation.
1102
01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:13,586
Oh.
1103
01:01:13,670 --> 01:01:14,545
Well, all right.
1104
01:01:14,629 --> 01:01:15,505
All right.
1105
01:01:15,588 --> 01:01:16,339
OK.
1106
01:01:22,428 --> 01:01:24,180
This is kind of a rush.
1107
01:01:24,263 --> 01:01:27,266
Please close your eyes
and concentrate, Detective.
1108
01:01:27,392 --> 01:01:28,101
Om.
1109
01:01:31,396 --> 01:01:34,774
(SINGING) She'll be coming round
the mountain when she comes.
1110
01:01:34,857 --> 01:01:36,150
When she comes.
1111
01:01:36,275 --> 01:01:39,779
She'll be coming round the
mountain when she comes.
1112
01:01:39,862 --> 01:01:44,242
She'll be coming round
the mountain when-- oh.
1113
01:01:44,325 --> 01:01:45,660
A little foot massage.
1114
01:01:45,785 --> 01:01:47,829
Very nice.
1115
01:01:47,954 --> 01:01:50,206
You know, your hands
feel a little rough, sort
1116
01:01:50,289 --> 01:01:51,624
of like rope.
1117
01:01:51,708 --> 01:01:52,500
Hey.
1118
01:01:52,625 --> 01:01:53,710
Hey, what are you doing?
1119
01:01:53,793 --> 01:01:54,877
Hey!
Let me down!
1120
01:01:54,961 --> 01:01:56,254
It is important
that we establish
1121
01:01:56,337 --> 01:01:59,507
an effective teacher-pupil
relationship.
1122
01:01:59,632 --> 01:02:00,967
If we had more
time, we could build
1123
01:02:01,092 --> 01:02:03,261
the foundations of
the relationship
1124
01:02:03,344 --> 01:02:05,805
on mutual respect and trust.
1125
01:02:05,930 --> 01:02:09,434
As it is, it will be easier
to work with fear and pain.
1126
01:02:12,854 --> 01:02:15,648
[screaming]
1127
01:02:15,732 --> 01:02:17,817
What the hell did
you do that for?
1128
01:02:17,900 --> 01:02:18,860
To get your attention.
1129
01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:23,990
Your first lesson will
develop your patience,
1130
01:02:24,073 --> 01:02:26,534
concentration, and endurance.
1131
01:02:32,331 --> 01:02:34,375
Now I want you to
separate the rice into
1132
01:02:34,500 --> 01:02:36,419
brown, white, and yellow piles.
1133
01:02:36,502 --> 01:02:38,337
And then count every grain.
1134
01:02:38,421 --> 01:02:39,505
Are you outta your mind?
1135
01:02:39,630 --> 01:02:41,758
Cut me down from here right now.
1136
01:02:45,261 --> 01:02:48,598
Please begin to separate and
count the rice, Detective.
1137
01:02:48,681 --> 01:02:52,643
The bamboo can withstand more
blows than your nether regions.
1138
01:02:52,727 --> 01:02:54,020
All right.
All right.
1139
01:02:54,145 --> 01:02:54,771
OK.
1140
01:02:54,854 --> 01:02:56,689
All right.
1141
01:02:56,773 --> 01:02:59,400
1 white grain.
1142
01:02:59,525 --> 01:03:02,320
1 yellow grain.
1143
01:03:02,403 --> 01:03:04,280
1 brown grain.
1144
01:03:04,363 --> 01:03:07,033
2 white grains.
1145
01:03:07,116 --> 01:03:11,037
3,182 grains of yellow rice.
1146
01:03:11,120 --> 01:03:20,421
And, uh-- 1,800 and--
46 grains of brown rice.
1147
01:03:20,546 --> 01:03:21,506
Very good.
1148
01:03:21,589 --> 01:03:23,883
That only took you five hours.
1149
01:03:24,008 --> 01:03:26,552
Concentration and focus
are the key to harnessing
1150
01:03:26,677 --> 01:03:29,096
your Kabukiman powers.
1151
01:03:29,222 --> 01:03:31,766
Now let's see if you can
do it in three hours.
1152
01:03:39,148 --> 01:03:39,440
Look.
1153
01:03:39,565 --> 01:03:42,652
I told you I am aching all over.
1154
01:03:42,860 --> 01:03:44,487
I got a headache this big.
1155
01:03:44,487 --> 01:03:45,905
I can't imagine why.
1156
01:03:45,988 --> 01:03:48,866
My nether regions are
somewhere in South Jersey.
1157
01:03:48,950 --> 01:03:52,245
And on top of that, you've
ruined my appetite for rice.
1158
01:03:52,328 --> 01:03:53,204
I'm going home.
1159
01:03:53,287 --> 01:03:55,248
But we must complete
your training.
1160
01:03:55,331 --> 01:03:56,999
Lady, off of me, OK?
1161
01:03:57,083 --> 01:04:00,753
Look, you're not thrilled about
me being your Kabuki whatever.
1162
01:04:00,878 --> 01:04:04,090
Well, I'm not that
thrilled about it myself.
1163
01:04:04,173 --> 01:04:05,675
I'm afraid you
don't understand.
1164
01:04:05,758 --> 01:04:09,929
The Evil One will soon know who
you are if he does not already.
1165
01:04:10,054 --> 01:04:11,639
If you not prepared by
the time the dragon dances
1166
01:04:11,764 --> 01:04:12,598
through the hoop of Jupiter--
1167
01:04:12,723 --> 01:04:13,766
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1168
01:04:13,891 --> 01:04:15,434
And the monkeys and
the jaguars will
1169
01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:17,645
jump rope and go to brunch.
1170
01:04:17,770 --> 01:04:19,522
Could you just
once say something
1171
01:04:19,605 --> 01:04:22,942
that doesn't sound like you
just flew in from Pluto?
1172
01:04:23,067 --> 01:04:24,819
Clearly, you have
no comprehension
1173
01:04:24,944 --> 01:04:26,445
of the scope of your mission.
1174
01:04:26,529 --> 01:04:28,030
The Evil One never sleeps.
1175
01:04:28,114 --> 01:04:31,075
You must be ready for
an attack at any time.
1176
01:04:31,158 --> 01:04:33,202
Oh, I'm ready to attack.
1177
01:04:33,286 --> 01:04:35,121
My pillow.
1178
01:04:35,204 --> 01:04:35,746
Domo.
1179
01:04:35,830 --> 01:04:37,957
Sayonara.
1180
01:04:38,082 --> 01:04:41,335
I have tried in vain to
reason with you Japanese style.
1181
01:04:41,460 --> 01:04:44,130
Now I must resort
to American style.
1182
01:04:47,967 --> 01:04:50,469
I'm warning-- I'm warning you.
1183
01:04:50,553 --> 01:04:54,432
I don't want to have to hit you.
1184
01:04:54,515 --> 01:04:55,433
That's it.
1185
01:04:58,895 --> 01:04:59,812
I'm sorry.
1186
01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:00,646
I--
1187
01:05:17,788 --> 01:05:22,168
A way to a man's brain is
through his nether regions.
1188
01:05:22,293 --> 01:05:22,752
You win.
1189
01:05:27,173 --> 01:05:29,884
I don't get my jollies
beating up women, you know.
1190
01:05:34,555 --> 01:05:35,556
All right.
1191
01:05:35,681 --> 01:05:37,934
I'll do what you want.
1192
01:05:38,017 --> 01:05:38,893
Very well.
1193
01:05:39,018 --> 01:05:42,396
Kabuki tradition.
1194
01:05:43,564 --> 01:05:46,442
American tradition.
1195
01:05:46,525 --> 01:05:50,196
One for good luck.
1196
01:05:50,321 --> 01:05:52,782
Our revels now are ended.
1197
01:05:52,865 --> 01:05:56,702
The time is almost upon us.
1198
01:05:56,786 --> 01:05:59,914
Soon, there will
be no stopping us.
1199
01:06:00,039 --> 01:06:03,376
But in the meantime, we
must be very, very careful.
1200
01:06:03,501 --> 01:06:04,794
The first thing we
must do is to move
1201
01:06:04,877 --> 01:06:06,712
everything out of the church.
1202
01:06:06,796 --> 01:06:09,924
Now I know this cop,
Griswold, has been suspended.
1203
01:06:10,049 --> 01:06:13,970
But I've dealt with his type
many, many times before.
1204
01:06:14,053 --> 01:06:17,139
He will never, never
leave us alone.
1205
01:06:17,223 --> 01:06:19,392
Griswold must be eliminated.
1206
01:06:19,517 --> 01:06:23,145
Everyone associated with
Griswold must be eliminated.
1207
01:06:23,229 --> 01:06:27,483
Then and only then will
everything be in order.
1208
01:06:27,566 --> 01:06:32,405
Only then will we
emerge triumphant.
1209
01:06:35,866 --> 01:06:37,284
LOTUS: Kabukiman's
spiritual powers
1210
01:06:37,410 --> 01:06:39,036
come from mastering the haiku.
1211
01:06:39,120 --> 01:06:40,496
GRISWOLD: What's that?
Karate?
1212
01:06:40,579 --> 01:06:41,747
No.
1213
01:06:41,831 --> 01:06:45,126
It's a classical form of
Japanese poetry, you turkey.
1214
01:06:45,251 --> 01:06:47,628
Please, read the haiku
on the first page.
1215
01:06:52,258 --> 01:06:53,634
"Cherry tree on hill.
1216
01:06:53,759 --> 01:06:55,219
Wind singing to the blossoms.
1217
01:06:55,302 --> 01:06:57,304
My soul is called home."
1218
01:06:57,430 --> 01:06:59,223
You will achieve
harmony of the body
1219
01:06:59,306 --> 01:07:04,186
and mind by mastering this
simply yet perfect form.
1220
01:07:04,562 --> 01:07:06,897
You know, I couldn't help but
notice when we were beating
1221
01:07:06,981 --> 01:07:09,316
the crap out of
each other that, uh,
1222
01:07:09,442 --> 01:07:15,114
you have a simple yet
perfect from yourself.
1223
01:07:15,239 --> 01:07:18,034
Please, we do not have
time for flirtation.
1224
01:07:18,117 --> 01:07:20,536
The haiku, Harry.
1225
01:07:20,619 --> 01:07:22,496
You called me Harry.
1226
01:07:22,621 --> 01:07:24,415
Please, the haiku.
1227
01:07:24,498 --> 01:07:25,291
Concentrate.
1228
01:07:30,629 --> 01:07:32,798
"Cherry tree on hill.
1229
01:07:32,923 --> 01:07:34,925
Wind singing to the blossoms.
1230
01:07:35,009 --> 01:07:39,764
My soul is called home."
"Cherry tree on hill.
1231
01:07:39,847 --> 01:07:41,640
Wind singing to the blossoms.
1232
01:07:41,766 --> 01:07:47,897
My soul is called home."
"Cherry tree on hill.
1233
01:07:47,980 --> 01:07:49,690
Wind singing to the blossoms.
1234
01:07:49,815 --> 01:07:54,820
My soul is called home."
"Cherry tree on hill.
1235
01:07:54,945 --> 01:07:57,198
Wind singing to the blossoms.
1236
01:07:57,323 --> 01:08:02,161
My soul is called home."
"Cherry tree on hill.
1237
01:08:02,286 --> 01:08:03,746
Wind singing to the blossoms.
1238
01:08:03,829 --> 01:08:07,708
My soul is called home."
1239
01:08:07,833 --> 01:08:09,126
Here you go, buddy.
1240
01:08:09,210 --> 01:08:11,504
Get yourself a cup of coffee.
1241
01:08:11,587 --> 01:08:13,714
Well done.
1242
01:08:13,839 --> 01:08:17,468
Now you must learn to understand
and control your powers.
1243
01:08:19,136 --> 01:08:19,929
Look around you.
1244
01:08:20,012 --> 01:08:21,263
What do you see?
1245
01:08:21,347 --> 01:08:24,725
I see-- I see crime.
1246
01:08:24,850 --> 01:08:28,187
I see poverty.
1247
01:08:28,270 --> 01:08:29,897
I see evil everywhere.
1248
01:08:30,022 --> 01:08:35,528
I see a power elite of corporate
money mongers controlling
1249
01:08:35,611 --> 01:08:38,364
our brains and our
destinies while they
1250
01:08:38,447 --> 01:08:41,575
dismantled the
sacred foundations
1251
01:08:41,700 --> 01:08:42,827
of the Bill of Rights.
1252
01:08:42,910 --> 01:08:48,624
(SINGING) Oh say can you see.
1253
01:08:48,707 --> 01:08:50,960
I see we have work to do.
1254
01:08:51,043 --> 01:08:51,794
Come on!
1255
01:08:54,171 --> 01:08:55,089
Whoa!
1256
01:08:58,050 --> 01:09:03,973
My pursuit of truth, justice,
and the Kabuki way had begun.
1257
01:09:04,056 --> 01:09:07,143
[music playing]
1258
01:09:23,159 --> 01:09:25,035
Tell all your
congressmen friends
1259
01:09:25,119 --> 01:09:26,245
that if they meddle
with the National
1260
01:09:26,370 --> 01:09:27,913
Endowment for the
Arts, they'll have
1261
01:09:27,997 --> 01:09:29,748
me, Kabukiman, to deal with.
1262
01:09:49,476 --> 01:09:51,478
So you pimps and hookers
want to roll in the hay?
1263
01:09:51,687 --> 01:09:53,606
Well, how about a sushi roll?
1264
01:10:30,643 --> 01:10:31,936
Oh my god.
1265
01:10:32,019 --> 01:10:33,437
It is simply gorgeous.
It's lovely.
1266
01:10:33,520 --> 01:10:34,521
I can't get enough of it.
1267
01:10:34,647 --> 01:10:35,522
Don't touch it.
1268
01:11:12,977 --> 01:11:14,561
Come on.
1269
01:11:14,687 --> 01:11:15,896
Get moving.
1270
01:11:16,021 --> 01:11:18,816
The boss wants his stuff moved
to the Stuart Pandex docks
1271
01:11:18,899 --> 01:11:20,150
to Tromaville.
1272
01:11:20,234 --> 01:11:22,278
You got the lion's cage?
1273
01:11:22,361 --> 01:11:24,530
Bananas for the monkey?
1274
01:11:24,655 --> 01:11:26,073
After a morning
of crime-fighting,
1275
01:11:26,198 --> 01:11:29,201
I like to come home to a nice
lunch of fresh sea urchin.
1276
01:11:29,285 --> 01:11:31,787
You know.
1277
01:11:31,870 --> 01:11:32,913
Please excuse the mess.
1278
01:11:33,038 --> 01:11:36,041
It looks like a bomb hit it.
1279
01:11:36,166 --> 01:11:38,961
[ticking]
1280
01:11:41,005 --> 01:11:42,131
Lotus!
1281
01:11:42,214 --> 01:11:43,799
Lotus, are you all right?
1282
01:11:48,721 --> 01:11:49,805
That's it.
1283
01:11:49,888 --> 01:11:53,142
First LaRosa, now you
almost got killed.
1284
01:11:53,225 --> 01:11:55,561
You may think I'm a champion
of good for the whole universe,
1285
01:11:55,644 --> 01:11:57,563
but this is something
that I have to take
1286
01:11:57,688 --> 01:12:00,941
care of for me, Harry Griswold.
1287
01:12:17,207 --> 01:12:18,667
LOTUS: Harry, watch out!
1288
01:12:26,759 --> 01:12:28,969
CROWD: Oh no!
1289
01:13:01,627 --> 01:13:02,753
Thanks.
1290
01:13:02,836 --> 01:13:04,338
I'll be around if
you need me in there.
1291
01:13:04,463 --> 01:13:05,339
Thank you.
Thank you.
1292
01:13:05,464 --> 01:13:06,382
Thank you.
1293
01:13:09,009 --> 01:13:11,303
You're such a weenie.
1294
01:13:11,387 --> 01:13:14,431
Can't you be around
me without touching me?
1295
01:13:20,562 --> 01:13:23,232
Hello, you weenie.
1296
01:13:23,315 --> 01:13:25,609
I said stop touching--
1297
01:13:25,692 --> 01:13:29,154
That's the crazy police
dude with chopsticks.
1298
01:13:29,279 --> 01:13:30,155
No!
1299
01:13:30,280 --> 01:13:31,156
No!
1300
01:13:31,281 --> 01:13:34,159
No!
1301
01:13:34,243 --> 01:13:37,037
Where is Snipes?
1302
01:13:37,162 --> 01:13:38,580
Who are you?
1303
01:13:41,500 --> 01:13:43,335
I'm Kabukiman.
1304
01:13:52,344 --> 01:13:55,180
[beeping]
1305
01:13:55,264 --> 01:13:56,181
It's Jughead.
1306
01:13:56,265 --> 01:13:57,433
He's in trouble.
1307
01:13:57,516 --> 01:13:58,767
Now what has that
weenie got himself into?
1308
01:13:58,851 --> 01:13:59,893
Watch the truck.
1309
01:14:00,018 --> 01:14:00,936
You guys come with me.
1310
01:14:06,191 --> 01:14:06,984
Smile.
1311
01:14:07,067 --> 01:14:09,903
You're on Kabuki Camera.
1312
01:14:15,534 --> 01:14:17,035
JUGHEAD: Oh no!
1313
01:14:17,119 --> 01:14:19,621
I guess I am a weenie after all.
1314
01:14:27,045 --> 01:14:29,131
It's over, Kabukiman.
1315
01:14:29,214 --> 01:14:31,758
I'm sure your fans will
be a little disappointed.
1316
01:14:47,399 --> 01:14:48,150
Come on.
1317
01:14:48,233 --> 01:14:48,984
Get him!
1318
01:14:52,237 --> 01:14:54,156
Move it!
1319
01:14:54,239 --> 01:14:55,157
Get outta my way!
1320
01:15:01,246 --> 01:15:04,124
What the?
1321
01:15:04,249 --> 01:15:05,542
It's cocktail hour.
1322
01:15:05,626 --> 01:15:07,127
I hope you like Molotov.
1323
01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:14,718
Get him!
1324
01:15:33,612 --> 01:15:38,534
The score is 2-zip,
but you're mine now.
1325
01:15:45,582 --> 01:15:46,625
Jump.
1326
01:15:46,750 --> 01:15:47,834
-Jump?
-Jump.
1327
01:15:47,960 --> 01:15:48,460
Hold my hand.
1328
01:15:48,585 --> 01:15:49,461
Jump.
1329
01:15:49,586 --> 01:15:50,295
What are you?
1330
01:15:50,420 --> 01:15:52,047
Nuts?
1331
01:15:52,130 --> 01:15:53,465
What are you afraid of?
1332
01:15:53,549 --> 01:15:54,591
Breaking my neck.
1333
01:15:54,675 --> 01:15:56,134
Don't be such a sissy.
1334
01:15:56,260 --> 01:15:57,302
I'm not a sissy.
1335
01:15:57,427 --> 01:15:58,804
I'm scared of
heights, all right?
1336
01:15:58,887 --> 01:16:01,515
Look, Kabukiman has
the power to fly,
1337
01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:04,017
but a grenade in the stomach?
1338
01:16:04,142 --> 01:16:06,895
I'm not so sure.
1339
01:16:06,979 --> 01:16:09,648
I don't believe I'm doing this.
1340
01:16:15,279 --> 01:16:15,988
Woo!
1341
01:16:16,113 --> 01:16:17,990
Oh yeah.
1342
01:16:18,073 --> 01:16:18,991
All right!
1343
01:16:19,074 --> 01:16:19,992
Miller Time!
1344
01:16:32,254 --> 01:16:33,630
Fly slowly.
1345
01:16:33,714 --> 01:16:36,091
You do not have your superhero
learner's permit yet.
1346
01:16:49,771 --> 01:16:52,608
We got winds coming
in from the north.
1347
01:16:52,691 --> 01:16:54,151
Barometric pressure rising.
1348
01:16:54,234 --> 01:16:56,111
Oh, foggy conditions ahead.
1349
01:17:00,532 --> 01:17:03,160
So Counselor, by
cutting a deal with you,
1350
01:17:03,243 --> 01:17:07,039
my sleazy client, who
we both know is guilty,
1351
01:17:07,164 --> 01:17:10,709
walks away scot-free,
probably to kill again
1352
01:17:10,834 --> 01:17:12,794
but not in our neighborhood.
1353
01:17:16,381 --> 01:17:19,384
I don't feel very good.
1354
01:17:19,468 --> 01:17:21,386
What's wrong?
1355
01:17:21,470 --> 01:17:23,764
I've never flown before.
1356
01:17:23,889 --> 01:17:25,307
I usually take the train.
1357
01:17:25,390 --> 01:17:29,728
Once again, we both profit
at society's expense.
1358
01:17:29,811 --> 01:17:33,190
You're not going
to be ill, are you?
1359
01:17:33,273 --> 01:17:34,191
No, no.
1360
01:17:34,274 --> 01:17:35,150
No, no.
1361
01:17:39,571 --> 01:17:41,615
[retching]
1362
01:17:47,245 --> 01:17:51,583
Well, Counselor, I guess lunch
at the Bar Association is off.
1363
01:17:57,172 --> 01:18:00,592
I guess I had a little too
much sea urchin for lunch.
1364
01:18:00,717 --> 01:18:03,178
Since my flight
prematurely departed,
1365
01:18:03,261 --> 01:18:05,764
I thought I'd drop Lotus off
and head back to the church
1366
01:18:05,847 --> 01:18:08,892
to pick up another passenger.
1367
01:18:08,975 --> 01:18:10,686
I gotta pick up
my airplane ticket.
1368
01:18:10,769 --> 01:18:12,771
I got my passport.
1369
01:18:12,896 --> 01:18:15,524
And I'm getting the
hell outta here.
1370
01:18:15,607 --> 01:18:16,983
Going somewhere, Reverend?
1371
01:18:21,446 --> 01:18:25,325
[screaming]
1372
01:18:27,411 --> 01:18:28,286
Let me go!
1373
01:18:28,412 --> 01:18:30,288
Let me go!
1374
01:18:30,414 --> 01:18:31,456
Please let me go!
1375
01:18:31,581 --> 01:18:34,292
I'll do anything
you want, anything.
1376
01:18:34,376 --> 01:18:35,293
What's the matter with you?
1377
01:18:35,377 --> 01:18:37,629
Are you crazy?
1378
01:18:37,754 --> 01:18:38,630
Help me!
1379
01:18:38,755 --> 01:18:39,631
He's crazy!
1380
01:18:39,756 --> 01:18:41,633
Oh, Jesus!
1381
01:18:41,717 --> 01:18:42,801
Oh, Jesus!
1382
01:18:46,680 --> 01:18:48,181
I don't know anything!
1383
01:18:48,306 --> 01:18:49,599
Oh yeah?
1384
01:18:49,683 --> 01:18:51,685
See that over there?
1385
01:18:51,810 --> 01:18:54,229
It's the beautiful
Empire State Building.
1386
01:18:54,312 --> 01:18:56,982
And if I was to drop you
over that point just right,
1387
01:18:57,107 --> 01:19:00,318
you would get a crash
course in proctology.
1388
01:19:00,402 --> 01:19:03,321
You don't start talking, I'm
gonna make yakitori out of you.
1389
01:19:03,447 --> 01:19:06,324
Get my point, Snipes?
1390
01:19:06,408 --> 01:19:08,285
Whoa!
1391
01:19:08,368 --> 01:19:10,203
Oh!
1392
01:19:10,328 --> 01:19:11,204
Yo!
1393
01:19:11,329 --> 01:19:12,164
Yo!
1394
01:19:12,289 --> 01:19:13,165
All right!
1395
01:19:13,290 --> 01:19:14,166
All right!
1396
01:19:14,249 --> 01:19:16,126
I'll talk.
1397
01:19:16,209 --> 01:19:16,918
Reginald Stuart.
1398
01:19:17,002 --> 01:19:18,336
He's the one you want.
1399
01:19:18,420 --> 01:19:20,672
He's the one who got that
lady cop killed, not me.
1400
01:19:20,797 --> 01:19:23,467
It was Reginald Stuart.
1401
01:19:23,550 --> 01:19:24,843
Snipes confessed everything.
1402
01:19:24,968 --> 01:19:26,511
I wish you could have
seen the look on his face
1403
01:19:26,636 --> 01:19:30,265
when I had him hanging over
the Empire State Building.
1404
01:19:31,975 --> 01:19:36,563
Anyway, I've got it
all here on tape.
1405
01:19:36,688 --> 01:19:40,358
There's enough here to put
him and Stuart away for life.
1406
01:19:40,442 --> 01:19:42,027
That's wonderful.
1407
01:19:42,152 --> 01:19:45,197
You've done so well
in such a short time.
1408
01:19:45,322 --> 01:19:47,699
The Evil One must
be fearful of you.
1409
01:19:47,824 --> 01:19:49,868
It's only because of you.
1410
01:19:49,993 --> 01:19:52,204
Without you around,
my powers are useless.
1411
01:19:52,287 --> 01:20:01,338
You are the champion, Harry,
not I. To you and Kabukiman.
1412
01:21:15,954 --> 01:21:18,456
[moaning]
1413
01:22:01,958 --> 01:22:05,587
Kabukiman sanjo!
1414
01:22:08,340 --> 01:22:09,049
I'll be back.
1415
01:22:14,804 --> 01:22:16,514
I'm taking this to the cops.
1416
01:22:19,351 --> 01:22:20,060
Whoa!
1417
01:22:26,232 --> 01:22:27,525
JINGLE (ON RADIO): Z Morning Zoo
1418
01:22:27,651 --> 01:22:29,069
ROSS (ON RADIO): It's Ross
Briton and the zoo crew.
1419
01:22:29,194 --> 01:22:30,654
Coach Mike, you got a
special astronomy alert?
1420
01:22:30,737 --> 01:22:32,364
MIKE (ON RADIO): Yeah, good
news for all the skywatchers.
1421
01:22:32,489 --> 01:22:34,991
Tonight, there will be a very
rare celestial occurrence.
1422
01:22:35,075 --> 01:22:37,535
The Dragonis Pupis will be
visible for the first time
1423
01:22:37,619 --> 01:22:39,329
in a thousands years.
ROSS (ON RADIO): Dragonis--
1424
01:22:39,412 --> 01:22:40,372
Hey, Mario.
1425
01:22:40,455 --> 01:22:41,831
Turn that radio off
and get your gun.
1426
01:22:41,915 --> 01:22:43,500
The boss is coming.
1427
01:22:46,753 --> 01:22:49,214
[growling]
1428
01:22:56,137 --> 01:22:58,056
Mr. Stuart, we're all ready.
1429
01:22:58,181 --> 01:23:01,226
We got the tiger and we haven't
fed him, just like you said.
1430
01:23:01,351 --> 01:23:02,978
We're taking him
out for exercises
1431
01:23:03,061 --> 01:23:04,854
to make him even hungrier.
1432
01:23:04,938 --> 01:23:05,730
Good.
1433
01:23:05,855 --> 01:23:07,315
He's good and hungry.
1434
01:23:07,399 --> 01:23:09,609
And what have we in this cage?
1435
01:23:09,734 --> 01:23:12,487
Now, this is the jaguar,
and he's been trying to have
1436
01:23:12,570 --> 01:23:13,738
a monkey ride on his back.
1437
01:23:13,863 --> 01:23:15,365
OK.
1438
01:23:15,448 --> 01:23:17,575
Well, now as for the monkey, we
tried to get a regular monkey,
1439
01:23:17,701 --> 01:23:19,953
but this lemur is the
only kind of monkey
1440
01:23:20,078 --> 01:23:22,080
that can ride side saddle.
1441
01:23:22,163 --> 01:23:24,249
STUART: OK, a lemur is
in the monkey family.
1442
01:23:24,332 --> 01:23:27,919
And soon, the Dragon will dance
through the hoop of Jupiter.
1443
01:23:44,102 --> 01:23:45,145
I thought I left that open.
1444
01:23:53,445 --> 01:23:56,364
Honey, I'm home.
1445
01:23:56,448 --> 01:23:57,323
Hi, honey.
1446
01:23:57,449 --> 01:23:59,659
I missed you.
1447
01:24:06,541 --> 01:24:07,292
My hair!
1448
01:24:11,880 --> 01:24:13,089
What have you done with Lotus?
1449
01:24:15,133 --> 01:24:19,471
By now, your nubile
little friend is being
1450
01:24:19,512 --> 01:24:23,141
seasoned for the tiger's feast.
1451
01:24:39,199 --> 01:24:43,620
You're weakened without
her, Kabuki Pig.
1452
01:24:53,088 --> 01:24:54,756
Faggot superhero!
1453
01:24:54,839 --> 01:24:57,467
[laughter]
1454
01:24:57,550 --> 01:25:01,012
Your powers are useless
without a woman's love.
1455
01:25:01,137 --> 01:25:02,305
All you need is love?
1456
01:25:09,270 --> 01:25:12,524
What are you gonna do
now, Detective Griswold?
1457
01:25:15,819 --> 01:25:18,363
What any good cop would do.
1458
01:25:23,034 --> 01:25:28,123
You're not gonna
shoot me, are you?
1459
01:25:28,206 --> 01:25:29,165
You're under arrest.
1460
01:25:31,543 --> 01:25:34,337
You have the right
to remain silent.
1461
01:25:36,756 --> 01:25:38,007
[gunshot]
1462
01:25:38,091 --> 01:25:41,052
Anything you say can and
will be used against you
1463
01:25:41,136 --> 01:25:42,220
in the court of law.
1464
01:25:42,345 --> 01:25:44,305
You have the right
to an attorney.
1465
01:25:48,059 --> 01:25:49,561
[coughing]
1466
01:25:52,063 --> 01:25:52,939
Or an undertaker.
1467
01:25:56,609 --> 01:25:58,236
Oh, Lotus.
1468
01:26:00,405 --> 01:26:01,781
I can't seem to
do it without her.
1469
01:26:24,637 --> 01:26:27,891
[scream]
1470
01:26:27,974 --> 01:26:29,184
Lotus.
1471
01:26:29,267 --> 01:26:30,018
It's OK, pal.
1472
01:26:30,101 --> 01:26:30,894
We'll find her.
1473
01:26:30,977 --> 01:26:31,769
Lotus.
1474
01:26:31,853 --> 01:26:32,604
You got a suggestion?
1475
01:26:35,481 --> 01:26:37,859
What are-- what
do you got there?
1476
01:26:41,738 --> 01:26:43,865
Well-- Come on.
1477
01:26:51,080 --> 01:26:52,540
Let's go.
1478
01:26:52,624 --> 01:26:53,666
Take me to her.
1479
01:26:53,791 --> 01:26:54,542
Come on.
1480
01:26:58,004 --> 01:26:59,756
You sure she's in here?
1481
01:26:59,839 --> 01:27:01,841
You better not be sending
me on a wild goose chase.
1482
01:27:01,966 --> 01:27:05,345
This better not be a banana
factory, or you're dog meat.
1483
01:27:07,388 --> 01:27:09,974
Walking around with
a monkey on my back.
1484
01:27:10,058 --> 01:27:12,644
I don't believe this.
1485
01:27:12,727 --> 01:27:13,311
All right.
1486
01:27:13,394 --> 01:27:14,312
We're going in here.
1487
01:27:20,818 --> 01:27:21,819
Car coming.
1488
01:27:21,945 --> 01:27:23,071
Car coming.
Car coming.
1489
01:27:23,154 --> 01:27:24,280
Yeah, we'll hide here.
1490
01:27:37,085 --> 01:27:38,294
Oh, she's dressed pretty hot.
1491
01:27:38,378 --> 01:27:39,796
STUART: Is the tiger ready?
1492
01:27:39,879 --> 01:27:41,339
Easy, boy.
1493
01:27:41,422 --> 01:27:43,925
Dinner will be served very
soon, you hungry little tiger.
1494
01:27:44,008 --> 01:27:44,926
STUART: Bring the Nubile.
1495
01:27:45,009 --> 01:27:47,595
Soon, it will be time.
1496
01:27:47,679 --> 01:27:48,888
No!
1497
01:27:49,013 --> 01:27:49,722
Ah, Nubile.
1498
01:27:53,017 --> 01:27:53,726
Tie her up tight!
1499
01:27:53,851 --> 01:27:54,602
Tie her up.
1500
01:27:54,686 --> 01:27:56,688
Tie her up!
1501
01:27:56,771 --> 01:27:58,022
Tighter, gentlemen.
1502
01:27:58,106 --> 01:27:59,691
Just a bit tighter.
1503
01:27:59,774 --> 01:28:00,358
That's fine.
1504
01:28:00,441 --> 01:28:01,359
Thank you very much.
1505
01:28:03,945 --> 01:28:06,781
So, Lotus, we meet at last.
1506
01:28:06,864 --> 01:28:09,284
And let me say, my dear, that
you are twice as beautiful
1507
01:28:09,367 --> 01:28:10,994
as I thought you'd be.
1508
01:28:11,077 --> 01:28:15,206
As you know, dear, today marks
the end of Mercury's journey.
1509
01:28:15,331 --> 01:28:17,166
In just a few short
moments, the Dragon
1510
01:28:17,250 --> 01:28:18,584
will dance through
the hoop of Jupiter,
1511
01:28:18,710 --> 01:28:20,336
the Monkey ride the Jaguar.
1512
01:28:20,420 --> 01:28:23,965
And how does the rest
of that legend go?
1513
01:28:25,383 --> 01:28:27,302
Ah yes.
1514
01:28:27,385 --> 01:28:30,054
The Tiger will
feast on the Nubile.
1515
01:28:30,138 --> 01:28:32,015
And let me tell you,
dear, they don't
1516
01:28:32,098 --> 01:28:34,642
come much more nubile than you.
1517
01:28:37,353 --> 01:28:38,813
You bitch.
1518
01:28:38,896 --> 01:28:41,316
You'll get yours.
1519
01:28:41,399 --> 01:28:42,483
Hungry, hungry, hungry.
1520
01:28:42,567 --> 01:28:43,318
Shh.
1521
01:28:53,161 --> 01:28:54,078
Hey, Jack.
1522
01:28:54,203 --> 01:28:55,580
Get ready for the Tiger's feast.
1523
01:28:55,663 --> 01:28:57,415
I hear you've been
trying to instruct
1524
01:28:57,540 --> 01:29:00,043
this Detective Griswold in
how to assume the powers
1525
01:29:00,126 --> 01:29:02,086
of the great Kabukiman.
1526
01:29:02,211 --> 01:29:05,214
It was a nice try,
darling, but, yeah.
1527
01:29:05,298 --> 01:29:07,759
Detective Griswold is dead.
1528
01:29:07,884 --> 01:29:08,551
That's right.
1529
01:29:08,634 --> 01:29:10,261
My Rembrandt never fails.
1530
01:29:10,345 --> 01:29:12,096
He is an artist of death.
1531
01:29:19,520 --> 01:29:21,397
Coming, coming, coming.
1532
01:29:21,481 --> 01:29:22,815
They are coming.
1533
01:29:22,940 --> 01:29:23,524
Coming.
1534
01:29:23,608 --> 01:29:24,776
Coming, coming, coming.
1535
01:29:27,737 --> 01:29:28,279
Coming here.
1536
01:29:28,363 --> 01:29:29,322
Coming here.
1537
01:29:35,620 --> 01:29:37,121
Toyota, get the gun.
1538
01:29:39,957 --> 01:29:43,878
Detective Griswold was nothing
but a clumsy, cheap, low-paid
1539
01:29:43,961 --> 01:29:47,090
detective in a $9 suit.
1540
01:29:49,842 --> 01:29:51,052
You know how to
use one of these?
1541
01:29:51,135 --> 01:29:54,722
Take this with you, all right?
1542
01:29:54,806 --> 01:29:56,974
There's a couple of
gorillas out there now.
1543
01:29:57,058 --> 01:29:58,309
No offense.
1544
01:29:58,393 --> 01:29:59,310
I want you to go around back.
1545
01:29:59,394 --> 01:30:00,853
You get the two out there.
1546
01:30:00,978 --> 01:30:02,146
I'm gonna go this way.
1547
01:30:02,230 --> 01:30:03,981
All right?
1548
01:30:04,107 --> 01:30:05,608
[laughter]
1549
01:30:07,110 --> 01:30:09,153
[gunfire]
1550
01:30:10,071 --> 01:30:11,364
Harry!
1551
01:30:11,489 --> 01:30:12,365
Get them, Harry!
1552
01:30:12,490 --> 01:30:13,408
Oh, get them, Harry!
1553
01:30:16,035 --> 01:30:18,121
Harry!
1554
01:30:18,204 --> 01:30:18,955
Harry!
1555
01:30:19,038 --> 01:30:19,956
Take that!
1556
01:30:20,039 --> 01:30:21,916
Harry.
1557
01:30:21,999 --> 01:30:24,502
[gunshots]
1558
01:30:33,344 --> 01:30:34,262
Harry.
1559
01:30:34,345 --> 01:30:35,680
Lotus, are you all right?
1560
01:30:40,435 --> 01:30:42,520
Wait a minute, guy.
1561
01:30:42,603 --> 01:30:43,855
I've got something
you're gonna love.
1562
01:30:48,025 --> 01:30:48,776
Hurry!
1563
01:30:54,198 --> 01:30:55,825
Key.
1564
01:30:55,908 --> 01:30:56,451
Give it to me.
1565
01:30:56,534 --> 01:30:58,077
Give it to me.
1566
01:30:58,202 --> 01:30:58,911
Good boy.
1567
01:31:03,708 --> 01:31:06,043
I'm outta bullets.
1568
01:31:06,127 --> 01:31:08,754
Show's' over, Kabukiman.
1569
01:31:15,344 --> 01:31:16,679
Freeze, Stuart.
1570
01:31:16,762 --> 01:31:20,016
Don't think about it.
1571
01:31:20,099 --> 01:31:21,392
Put your hands up slowly.
1572
01:31:21,476 --> 01:31:22,351
Slowly.
1573
01:31:22,435 --> 01:31:24,270
Put 'em up.
1574
01:31:24,395 --> 01:31:26,272
Josephs, Hernandez.
1575
01:31:26,397 --> 01:31:27,398
Let's go, Stuart.
1576
01:31:27,482 --> 01:31:28,941
Up against the car.
1577
01:31:29,066 --> 01:31:33,154
Josephs, put that donut down
and get the handcuffs on him.
1578
01:31:33,237 --> 01:31:35,406
Harry, you all right?
1579
01:31:39,911 --> 01:31:42,580
Harry, I got you to tell you.
1580
01:31:42,705 --> 01:31:46,250
We got everything we need to
put Snipes and Stuart away.
1581
01:31:46,334 --> 01:31:47,418
You did good work.
1582
01:31:55,718 --> 01:31:57,637
Many, many take you.
1583
01:32:01,390 --> 01:32:02,808
Traitors!
1584
01:32:02,934 --> 01:32:04,310
Get the dagger!
1585
01:32:04,435 --> 01:32:05,937
We'll use Felicia.
She's even more nubile.
1586
01:32:06,020 --> 01:32:06,812
She'll taste great.
1587
01:32:06,938 --> 01:32:07,605
Let go of me!
1588
01:32:07,688 --> 01:32:08,940
STUART: Let the feast begin!
1589
01:32:09,065 --> 01:32:09,774
No!
1590
01:32:13,861 --> 01:32:15,154
[growling]
1591
01:32:15,279 --> 01:32:16,781
No!
1592
01:32:16,864 --> 01:32:18,574
No!
1593
01:32:18,658 --> 01:32:21,118
[screaming]
1594
01:32:33,589 --> 01:32:36,467
It has begun.
1595
01:32:36,592 --> 01:32:41,055
The Tiger feasts on the Nubile.
1596
01:32:41,138 --> 01:32:42,807
It has begun.
1597
01:32:42,890 --> 01:32:43,641
No!
1598
01:32:54,527 --> 01:32:57,488
The time has come.
1599
01:32:57,613 --> 01:33:02,118
My time has come!
1600
01:33:18,718 --> 01:33:20,845
The Evil One.
1601
01:33:20,928 --> 01:33:21,887
Hey.
1602
01:33:22,013 --> 01:33:22,722
Whoa!
1603
01:33:26,434 --> 01:33:28,853
Harry!
1604
01:33:28,936 --> 01:33:29,979
Harry!
1605
01:33:30,062 --> 01:33:30,813
Harry!
1606
01:34:05,431 --> 01:34:06,182
Harry!
1607
01:34:11,228 --> 01:34:12,438
Eat the Nubile.
1608
01:34:12,563 --> 01:34:14,899
Fulfill the prophecy.
1609
01:34:15,024 --> 01:34:16,817
Harry.
1610
01:34:16,901 --> 01:34:17,568
Harry!
1611
01:34:17,652 --> 01:34:20,738
He's in the larva stage.
1612
01:34:20,821 --> 01:34:25,660
And now, I'll just worm my
way into my little cocoon.
1613
01:34:43,010 --> 01:34:43,928
Harry!
1614
01:34:44,011 --> 01:34:45,596
Harry!
1615
01:34:45,721 --> 01:34:46,639
Wake up.
1616
01:34:46,764 --> 01:34:47,932
He's turning into the Evil One.
1617
01:35:10,037 --> 01:35:10,788
Harry!
1618
01:35:13,416 --> 01:35:14,125
Come on.
1619
01:35:14,250 --> 01:35:14,834
Hurry!
1620
01:35:14,959 --> 01:35:15,960
The Evil One is here.
1621
01:35:16,043 --> 01:35:18,713
You must become the Kabukiman.
1622
01:35:37,523 --> 01:35:39,108
Only two things remain.
1623
01:35:39,191 --> 01:35:42,027
The Monkey must ride the Jaguar,
and the Dragon must dance
1624
01:35:42,153 --> 01:35:43,487
through the Hoop of Jupiter.
1625
01:35:43,571 --> 01:35:44,905
Look, it's happening.
1626
01:35:47,658 --> 01:35:49,201
See the Dragon, don't you?
1627
01:35:49,326 --> 01:35:53,372
Here, let me help.
1628
01:35:53,497 --> 01:35:54,665
You see?
1629
01:35:54,790 --> 01:35:58,169
It's just like at
the planetarium.
1630
01:36:03,215 --> 01:36:06,093
The Dragon dances through
the Hoop of Jupiter,
1631
01:36:06,177 --> 01:36:10,347
and evil will
prevail! [laughter]
1632
01:36:20,107 --> 01:36:22,359
The Evil One has arrived.
1633
01:36:22,485 --> 01:36:24,987
Now it's up to you.
1634
01:36:25,070 --> 01:36:26,572
Harry.
1635
01:36:26,697 --> 01:36:27,490
Harry.
1636
01:36:27,573 --> 01:36:28,616
What the hell is this?
1637
01:36:28,699 --> 01:36:29,533
What's going on?
1638
01:36:29,658 --> 01:36:30,367
Get back.
1639
01:36:30,493 --> 01:36:31,368
Get back.
1640
01:36:31,452 --> 01:36:32,286
Take Lotus.
1641
01:36:32,369 --> 01:36:33,287
Get back.
1642
01:36:33,370 --> 01:36:34,872
Get outta the way!
1643
01:36:39,877 --> 01:36:42,338
Kabukiman!
1644
01:36:49,053 --> 01:36:52,139
[car engine turning]
1645
01:36:52,223 --> 01:36:53,557
Toyota, no!
1646
01:36:53,641 --> 01:36:54,892
I'll murder him.
1647
01:36:55,017 --> 01:36:57,394
Get away from the Jaguar!
1648
01:37:03,567 --> 01:37:05,069
No!
1649
01:37:05,152 --> 01:37:05,986
Radio.
1650
01:37:06,070 --> 01:37:07,404
JINGLE (ON RADIO):
Z Morning Zoo.
1651
01:37:07,488 --> 01:37:09,698
ROSS (ON RADIO): It's Ross
Briton and the zoo crew.
1652
01:37:09,782 --> 01:37:10,574
Radio.
1653
01:37:10,658 --> 01:37:12,409
Radio.
1654
01:37:12,493 --> 01:37:13,744
No!
1655
01:37:13,869 --> 01:37:17,748
Don't ride the Jaguar!
1656
01:37:17,873 --> 01:37:18,749
Lotus, come back!
1657
01:37:18,874 --> 01:37:19,792
Come back here!
1658
01:37:24,839 --> 01:37:26,507
EVIL ONE: No, you stupid woman.
1659
01:37:26,590 --> 01:37:27,633
You crazy monkey.
1660
01:37:27,758 --> 01:37:28,634
EVIL ONE: Leave
the monkey alone!
1661
01:37:28,759 --> 01:37:29,885
You mustn't ride the Jaguar.
1662
01:37:32,680 --> 01:37:34,515
You're finished, Evil One.
1663
01:37:34,598 --> 01:37:37,017
The Monkey did not
ride the Jaguar.
1664
01:37:37,101 --> 01:37:37,852
No!
1665
01:37:40,896 --> 01:37:41,814
Harry!
1666
01:37:44,859 --> 01:37:45,609
No!
1667
01:37:52,616 --> 01:37:53,409
Harry!
1668
01:38:22,813 --> 01:38:23,647
Easy, easy, easy.
1669
01:38:24,315 --> 01:38:24,481
All right.
1670
01:38:24,565 --> 01:38:25,399
We got you.
1671
01:38:25,482 --> 01:38:26,233
All right.
1672
01:38:26,317 --> 01:38:27,026
We got you.
1673
01:38:28,485 --> 01:38:31,488
I'm-- I'm tired.
1674
01:38:31,572 --> 01:38:33,741
I'm-- I'm going home.
1675
01:38:33,824 --> 01:38:34,575
Griswold.
1676
01:38:38,454 --> 01:38:39,872
I can explain.
1677
01:38:40,039 --> 01:38:40,915
I don't want to know.
1678
01:38:41,790 --> 01:38:45,002
What I do know is that
you're off suspension,
1679
01:38:45,252 --> 01:38:49,506
and you're on vacation
as of right now.
1680
01:38:52,927 --> 01:38:54,553
Let's go, partner.
1681
01:38:54,678 --> 01:38:58,265
So, Harry-- I mean, Kabukiman.
1682
01:38:58,349 --> 01:38:59,975
You have at least
another thousand years
1683
01:39:00,059 --> 01:39:01,727
before the next time
the dragon dances
1684
01:39:01,852 --> 01:39:03,354
through the hoop of Jupiter.
1685
01:39:03,437 --> 01:39:05,940
So what are you gonna do
with the rest of your time?
1686
01:39:06,023 --> 01:39:09,360
Well, I'd like to
clean my apartment,
1687
01:39:09,485 --> 01:39:12,404
do a little laundry maybe,
and take some flying lessons.
1688
01:39:14,865 --> 01:39:15,616
Look!
1689
01:39:15,699 --> 01:39:16,951
Up in the sky.
1690
01:39:17,034 --> 01:39:18,410
It's a flying reptile.
1691
01:39:18,535 --> 01:39:19,536
No.
1692
01:39:19,662 --> 01:39:22,206
It's a six-winged
supersonic sleuth bomber.
1693
01:39:22,331 --> 01:39:23,207
No, no, no.
1694
01:39:23,332 --> 01:39:24,541
You're thinking of
a stealth bomber.
1695
01:39:24,667 --> 01:39:25,709
No.
1696
01:39:25,793 --> 01:39:27,211
It's a man in a
striped bathrobe.
1697
01:39:27,336 --> 01:39:31,131
A man in a striped bathrobe?
1698
01:39:31,215 --> 01:39:32,007
Whoa!
1699
01:39:34,760 --> 01:39:37,096
No, good citizens, it's me.
1700
01:39:37,221 --> 01:39:40,099
Sergeant Kabukiman, NYPD.
1701
01:39:40,224 --> 01:39:42,226
CROWD: Sergeant Kabukiman!
1702
01:39:42,309 --> 01:39:44,728
LOTUS: Harry, watch
out for that pigeon.
1703
01:39:44,812 --> 01:39:46,647
Whoa!
1704
01:39:46,730 --> 01:39:47,481
Lotus, help me!
1705
01:39:47,564 --> 01:39:48,399
Calm down, Harry!
1706
01:39:48,482 --> 01:39:49,233
Do something!
1707
01:39:49,316 --> 01:39:50,234
Oh my god, we're gonna crash!
1708
01:39:50,359 --> 01:39:50,943
Look out!
1709
01:39:51,068 --> 01:39:52,319
Get outta the way!
1710
01:39:52,403 --> 01:39:53,237
[crash]
1711
01:40:06,542 --> 01:40:12,631
THEME SONG: Sergeant
Kabukiman, NYPD.
1712
01:40:15,759 --> 01:40:16,593
It's your destiny.
1713
01:40:20,389 --> 01:40:28,772
Sergeant Kabukiman,
you fight off evil.
1714
01:40:28,897 --> 01:40:32,735
It was meant to be.
1715
01:40:32,818 --> 01:40:35,738
Look around you.
1716
01:40:35,821 --> 01:40:39,199
Nothing is the same.
1717
01:40:39,283 --> 01:40:44,246
Feel the power running
through your vein.
1718
01:40:47,124 --> 01:40:50,753
You're a tough cop
with a love for more.
1719
01:40:53,797 --> 01:40:56,967
Love is the power.
1720
01:40:57,092 --> 01:41:00,888
Love gives you power.
1721
01:41:00,971 --> 01:41:06,435
Sergeant Kabukiman, NYPD.
1722
01:41:09,521 --> 01:41:11,607
It's your destiny.
1723
01:41:14,151 --> 01:41:22,826
Sergeant Kabukiman,
you fight off evil.
1724
01:41:22,910 --> 01:41:26,038
It was meant to be.
1725
01:41:26,163 --> 01:41:33,003
Trade your nightstick
for a pair of chopsticks.
1726
01:41:33,087 --> 01:41:36,006
Evil's coming.
1727
01:41:36,090 --> 01:41:37,841
The time for evil is now.
1728
01:41:41,178 --> 01:41:44,264
Supernatural powers
that you possess.
1729
01:41:47,851 --> 01:41:50,979
Love is the power.
1730
01:41:51,063 --> 01:41:54,191
Love gives you power.
1731
01:41:54,316 --> 01:42:00,405
Sergeant Kabukiman, NYPD.
1732
01:42:03,075 --> 01:42:04,368
It's your destiny.
1733
01:42:07,704 --> 01:42:16,588
Sergeant Kabukiman,
you fight off evil.
1734
01:42:16,713 --> 01:42:19,383
It was meant to be.
115947
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