All language subtitles for Sgt.Kabukiman.N.Y.P.D.1991.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-GPRS_track3_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:05,422 [music playing] 2 00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:20,020 [non-english speech] 3 00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:30,447 Venerable ancestors, 1,000 years ago the evil one 4 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,241 was driven from the face of the globe. 5 00:00:33,324 --> 00:00:35,785 As we've been foretold, there would come a time 6 00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:40,623 when evil, corruption, and perversion would rise again, 7 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,710 and the evil one would be able to return. 8 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:46,129 That time is now. 9 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,756 At the end of Mercury's next journey, 10 00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:50,675 the dragon shall dance through the hoop of Jupiter. 11 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:54,846 If at that moment, the monkey will ride the jaguar, 12 00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:57,348 and the tiger will feast on the nubile, 13 00:00:57,474 --> 00:01:00,810 the order of the universe will be such that the evil one will 14 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,313 reign supreme for eternity. 15 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:06,941 There is only one being who can confront the evil one. 16 00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,319 The chosen one is on his way to us now. 17 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:18,244 I'm gonna kill you. 18 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,705 Hey! 19 00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,874 A 560SL? 20 00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:23,833 Outrageous. 21 00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:24,667 Arthur, when'd you get it? 22 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,252 Hey. 23 00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,797 This baby is my commission on that Stuart Pandex takeover. 24 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,925 You were in on Stuart Pandex? 25 00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:32,842 You lucky bastard. 26 00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:33,885 Hey. 27 00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,428 Luck had nothing to do with it. 28 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:38,348 My cleaning lady's nephew's son works for Reginald Stuart. 29 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:40,892 I knew about that deal six months ago. 30 00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:41,768 Hey. 31 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:43,061 Inside information? 32 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:44,687 That's illegal. 33 00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:48,191 And this, my friend, is a Mercedes convertible. 34 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,110 And it's all mine. 35 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:53,696 [laughter] 36 00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:17,554 Hello. 37 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,266 [screaming] 38 00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:27,105 Bye bye, Kabukiman. 39 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:30,608 Looks like you and your family are through! 40 00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:37,907 You can kill me, but you can't kill the spirit of Kabukiman. 41 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,201 Your husband Ichiro can't make it to his performance 42 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,953 tonight, sweetheart. 43 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:47,083 Too bad, 'cause you're going to be the hit on Broadway! 44 00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:48,710 I'm telling you man. 45 00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:53,798 With newsreels, the babes are gonna be falling all over you. 46 00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:58,803 -Huh? -Oh my. 47 00:02:58,928 --> 00:02:59,762 Dear me. 48 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:00,722 What happened? 49 00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:01,598 Where did she come from? 50 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,833 Here you go buddy. Get yourself a cup of coffee. 51 00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,960 GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): Griswold's the name, 52 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:34,964 Sergeant Harry Griswold, NYPD. 53 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,884 This city can take its toll on some. 54 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,302 Don't get me wrong. 55 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:42,138 There are a lot of nice qualities about this town, 56 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,474 and some not so nice. 57 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,310 I was following up on a lead to what some might consider just 58 00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:50,313 another New York City massacre-- a pretty woman thrown out 59 00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:52,649 of a high rise window, her Japanese husband 60 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:57,528 disemboweled, and their two kids turned into shredded wheat. 61 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:58,821 I was supposed to be having dinner 62 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,324 with a friend and coworker, Connie LaRosa, 63 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,159 and looking forward to it. 64 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,703 Instead, I stopped at my favorite sidewalk cafe 65 00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:08,915 for a quick bite and was on my way to some kind 66 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:11,417 of amateur kabuki performance. 67 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:12,961 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, 68 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:17,257 and welcome to lifestyles of the wealthy and well known. 69 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:20,760 Today, we are in a glamorous New York City theater, 70 00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:24,472 where just about to begin is a special performance 71 00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:27,850 of the first Manhattan Kabuki Players' adaptation 72 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,644 of the Kabuki Couple. 73 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:33,356 Tonight, we are fortunate to focus our spotlight of glamour 74 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:38,027 on Mr. Reginald Stuart, New York billion businessman 75 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,862 and philanthropist. 76 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,447 Good evening, Mr. Stuart. 77 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:42,782 Good evening, Brian. 78 00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:44,284 It's a great pleasure to be with you tonight. 79 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,536 Your Stuart Foundation provided the funding 80 00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:47,745 for tonight's performance. 81 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:48,621 That's right. 82 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:49,580 We did. 83 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:50,999 At the Stuart Pandex Corporation, 84 00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:53,084 we believe that corporate funding is the best way 85 00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:54,752 to bring culture to the masses. 86 00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:57,380 The reason we've sponsored this particular kabuki performance 87 00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:58,923 is that I myself have been personally 88 00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:01,718 interested for a long time in the work of Mr. Sato 89 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,595 and his family who have trained this amateur troupe. 90 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,556 Five minutes to curtain, Mr. Sato. 91 00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:10,143 My revered elder stands ready to pass the gift 92 00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:13,313 and raise the spirit of Kabukiman. 93 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,690 He will now consume the banquet of joining. 94 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,396 GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): My boss, Captain Bender, told me 95 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,190 the Japanese entertain themselves 96 00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:59,484 by going to the kabuki theater. 97 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:03,154 It's a tradition that's been going on for hundreds of years. 98 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:04,655 The men dress up like women, and do 99 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:07,241 some kind of poses in slow motion, 100 00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,744 and make some kind of weird noises. 101 00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:11,162 [moaning] 102 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,623 I had no idea what I was getting into. 103 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,250 What I did know was that I had missed another date 104 00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:17,877 with Connie LaRosa. 105 00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,465 Grandfather, I grow nervous. 106 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,258 The performance has already begun 107 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,344 and the Chosen One has not yet arrived. 108 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,471 If he's not here to receive the gift 109 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:30,264 when the moon hangs from the eye of the squid, 110 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:32,392 what will transpire? 111 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:36,229 Hey, Asuka-san, you must have some hand. 112 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,901 If something has befallen Ichiro, 113 00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:44,904 will you pass the ancient kabuki powers to me? 114 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:50,952 But Grandfather! 115 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,836 [applause] 116 00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:10,680 [moaning] 117 00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:20,565 Hey, Felix-san. 118 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,526 This place is a real mess. 119 00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:27,196 Why do you guys always make such a mess? 120 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,992 Eat, eat, eat, drink, drink, drink. 121 00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:32,869 It's all you ever do. 122 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,871 Stop complaining. 123 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,414 Are you in? 124 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,748 [moaning] 125 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:38,624 I must call. 126 00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:44,005 [moaning] 127 00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:48,009 Hey, stop it. 128 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:50,386 Cut that out, Felix-san. 129 00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:52,180 Do something, Oscar-san. 130 00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,014 Do something. 131 00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:06,569 [grunting] 132 00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:23,044 [gunshot] 133 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,009 [gunshots] 134 00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:32,386 [screaming] 135 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,972 [gunshots] 136 00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:39,560 [laughter] 137 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,524 [gunshots] 138 00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:48,945 [screaming] 139 00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:55,868 [gunshots] 140 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:00,665 This is great, huh? 141 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:01,832 Lot better than I expected. 142 00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:06,837 Everybody freeze! 143 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:07,797 Police! 144 00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,215 [gunshot] 145 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,218 Get out of the way. 146 00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:13,177 Move it. 147 00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:14,053 I'm on top of it! 148 00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:20,560 [gunshots] 149 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:21,602 Oh my god. 150 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:24,313 I don't believe what I'm seeing. 151 00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:27,441 The performers are being mowed down by cheaply dressed thugs 152 00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:32,280 brandishing expensive, custom made automatic weapons! 153 00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,660 [screaming] 154 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,080 [gunshots] 155 00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:46,002 Bullets fly and rip my flesh. 156 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:49,046 Even I am not immune to the dazzling gunplay 157 00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:51,090 as I am almost cut in half. 158 00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:56,929 It's truly mind-numbing, more fabulous in its scope 159 00:09:57,013 --> 00:10:01,100 than-- than even the fabulous Drum Princess. 160 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,185 [gunshots] 161 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,186 Shoot her. Go ahead. 162 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,021 Shoot her. 163 00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:14,196 [screaming] 164 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,658 What are you doing? 165 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:19,118 I think I just saved your life, Miss. 166 00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:22,872 Remove yourself from my body, you filthy oaf! 167 00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:27,335 You're welcome. 168 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:28,252 Hey. 169 00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:30,212 Hey, what are you doing? 170 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,756 Hey, knock it off! 171 00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:00,701 [sirens wailing] 172 00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,286 Let's get outta here. 173 00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:04,497 Will you guys relax? 174 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,957 We're supposed to be having fun here! 175 00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:29,063 [speaking japanese] 176 00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:49,542 Itsumo something crazy! 177 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,339 OK. 178 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,007 I'm wearing a dress. 179 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,843 First, I'm kissed by a guy. 180 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,094 Now I'm wearing a dress. 181 00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:00,928 Fine. 182 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,975 How did it feel watching your grandfather being 183 00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:08,561 mowed down by machine guns? 184 00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:10,104 [sobbing] 185 00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:14,150 Police! 186 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,568 Freeze. 187 00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:18,154 Now could you ladies, you guys, tell me exactly what happened? 188 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,740 When the bullets started flying, I hit the floor. 189 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,491 Yeah, it was like something out of the movies, 190 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,826 you know what I mean? -I need numbers. 191 00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:24,827 Did you see anybody. -There were five of them. 192 00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:25,494 12 193 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,830 There were give. 194 00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:30,207 We don't wanna get involved. 195 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:31,041 Whoa! 196 00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:34,420 Freeze! 197 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,175 GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): That was the kind of boss 198 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,261 Captain Bender was, always around when 199 00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,221 things were going wrong. 200 00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:47,099 I know this is a hard and trying time for you, 201 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:48,893 but what did you think when you saw 202 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:52,396 rivulets of blood flowing down his beautiful kabuki costume? 203 00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:57,651 GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): I had to admit, 204 00:12:57,735 --> 00:13:00,446 I felt pretty silly wearing a kabuki dress. 205 00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:03,407 And my fellow officers being there only made matters worse. 206 00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:13,334 [alarm wailing] 207 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,059 Rembrandt, what could possibly have been running 208 00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:31,727 through your mind when you decided to shoot up 209 00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,062 and entire theater. 210 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:34,897 We almost achieved our goals. 211 00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:39,068 There's no reason to draw attention to our operation now. 212 00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:40,152 Now I'm gonna have to get involved 213 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,696 and wipe all your little asses. 214 00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,281 [buzzing] 215 00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:45,699 Yes? 216 00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,409 SECRETARY (ON PHONE): Reverend Snipes is here to see you, sir. 217 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,245 Snipes is here. 218 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,205 Send him in. 219 00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:52,790 [door opens] 220 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,421 Reverend Snipes, so good to see you. 221 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:02,800 What brings you here at such an ungodly hour? 222 00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:05,427 Who are you kidding, Reggie? 223 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,222 We got business to discuss. 224 00:14:08,305 --> 00:14:09,098 Oh? 225 00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:11,058 Have we? 226 00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:14,436 You bet your corporate butt we do. 227 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:18,232 Your little contributions to my youth center 228 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:20,484 just aren't going as far as they used 229 00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:22,611 to, if you know what I mean. 230 00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:27,616 I got expenses and an overhead like you wouldn't believe. 231 00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:30,077 And I have no intentions of running 232 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,831 a non-profit organization. 233 00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:37,084 So what is your point, Reverend? 234 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,295 I tell my people to stop patronizing 235 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:43,382 some of your businesses, like that fast food chain. 236 00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:46,135 And you'll feel that power give you a good, hard kick 237 00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:48,512 in that fat wallet of yours. 238 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:52,975 I also got a certain female police detective 239 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,977 who's been on my ass lately. 240 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,605 And I'm sure you wouldn't want any word leaking out 241 00:14:57,605 --> 00:15:03,694 about your long term financial involvement in my organization, 242 00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,363 if you catch my meaning. 243 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,198 I think so. 244 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:16,957 Sir, you can't come in here, sir. 245 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:17,791 Get your hands off me. I go where I please. 246 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,585 You can't. 247 00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:23,088 Uncle Reggie, sorry for barging in, but we gotta talk. 248 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,131 Excuse me, Reverend. 249 00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:25,925 This will only take a second. 250 00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:27,051 What is it, Skipper? 251 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,677 I thought we had an agreement here. 252 00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:30,429 I thought we had a relationship. 253 00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:32,973 I was gonna take the rap for that shit at the theater. 254 00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:35,225 You were gonna get me off and make me a Vice President 255 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:38,020 with a corner office-- no jail, no conviction, 256 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,689 nothing-- just a couple of mug shots and a statement, 257 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:41,690 and that's it. 258 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,150 That was our understanding. 259 00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,527 But I just spent the past four hours down in the can 260 00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,821 with some real criminals, waiting for your guy 261 00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:49,782 to come bail me the hell out! 262 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,325 Do you know what it's like to be violated 263 00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:54,870 by a 300 pound Filipino skinhead named Gunther? 264 00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:55,996 It ain't non picnic! 265 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,623 Ah, Skipper, Skipper. 266 00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:59,333 Calm down, boy. 267 00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:02,670 I guarantee you'll never spend another night in jail. 268 00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:06,215 [silenced gunshot] 269 00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:09,802 Use the magazine. 270 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,720 He's getting blood all over my new carpet. 271 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,558 Always wanted to be on the cover of the Financial Week, 272 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:17,893 Skippy. 273 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,813 Here's your shot. 274 00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:22,606 You look great. 275 00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:23,732 Now let's see. 276 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,734 Where were we? 277 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:26,819 Ah, yes. 278 00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:29,446 You were threatening me. 279 00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:34,743 You're nothing but a third rate conman, Reverend Snipes. 280 00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:37,246 But I have a need for you. 281 00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:40,582 That is, if you think you can play hardball. 282 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,169 Are you ready for the major leagues, Reverend? 283 00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:46,296 Good. 284 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,510 There's a lot of tension in the city now. 285 00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:55,097 And I want you to keep the flame on high. 286 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:58,058 When it starts to boil over, I'll 287 00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:00,436 be there to arm the revolution. 288 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:04,189 And when it gets out of control, I'll be 289 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:07,443 there to restore order again. 290 00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:13,574 And then, Reverend, then you'll see real power. 291 00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:16,118 [opera music playing] 292 00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,245 Kabukiman. 293 00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:20,265 GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): When I showed up at the station house 294 00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:22,267 the next day, I knew the boys would 295 00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,770 be making jokes at my expense. 296 00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:31,527 This is what's known as an erect nipple. 297 00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:32,945 Hey, Harry. 298 00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:36,115 Where's your pretty dress? 299 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:37,616 Your mother wanted it back. 300 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:38,367 Yeah right. 301 00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,828 Hey, its Madame Butterfly. 302 00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:42,121 You want some milk, Harry? 303 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:45,916 LaRosa. 304 00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:48,043 Hey, Connie. 305 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,878 You know, this whole thing has been 306 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,547 blown way out of proportion. 307 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:52,381 Sure, sure, Harry. 308 00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:53,799 You're gonna be all right. 309 00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:02,766 Listen, Connie. 310 00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:04,309 What do you say we try for dinner again tonight. 311 00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,561 I don't know what it is, but I hate to say it. 312 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:08,063 I have this craving for Japanese food. 313 00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,231 Yeah? 314 00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,567 LaRosa, have dinner with me tonight. 315 00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,318 What do you say, Connie? 316 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:18,031 I'd like to, Harry, but I gotta be in court tonight. 317 00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,074 Hey, look. 318 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,617 I usually go jogging after work. 319 00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:22,911 You wanna join me? 320 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:23,745 No. 321 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,372 Running. 322 00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:28,959 I'll be wearing my new spandex jogging shorts. 323 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:36,091 I was just saying to myself I should get some more exercise. 324 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,259 Spandex? 325 00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:38,468 Forget it, Harry. 326 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:41,096 You don't have the legs for spandex! 327 00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:44,308 Besides, Bender wants to see you in his office now. 328 00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,525 Do you come to this jail often? 329 00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:57,529 Oh, I'm a steady patron here. 330 00:19:57,613 --> 00:20:01,033 But yes! 331 00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:02,951 Commissioner, look. 332 00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:05,287 I understand that! 333 00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:08,624 Look, I'll do it. 334 00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:11,001 Damn! 335 00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:11,835 You're busy. 336 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:12,753 I'll come back. 337 00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:13,712 Griswold, sit down! 338 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,967 Now about last night. 339 00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:20,052 OK, OK. 340 00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,470 I can explain. 341 00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:24,723 OK, first of all, it wasn't a dress I was wearing. 342 00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,225 It was a kimono. 343 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,809 I don't wanna know. 344 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:30,395 I just wanna tell you that while you were playing geisha girl, 345 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,898 Reginald Stuart's security men captured the perp. 346 00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:33,732 What? 347 00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:35,025 You heard me. 348 00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,319 Some cracked out wacko did it. 349 00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:38,779 Seems he had it in for Japanese ever 350 00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:42,199 since he got fired for using drugs at a Toyota plant. 351 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:43,492 I was there. 352 00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,702 There were at least five guys shooting. 353 00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:48,330 Yeah, the other men were Stuart's security men. 354 00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:51,083 And by the way, you shot four of 'em! 355 00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:53,335 Fortunately, they're OK and Reginald Stuart 356 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:55,337 advised them not to press any charges against you. 357 00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:58,215 But you owe your ass to Reginald Stuart. 358 00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,092 There's no way those guys were security. 359 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:02,970 They-- they were shooting at the actors! 360 00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:04,429 They were shooting at me! 361 00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,556 Harry, you're not fucking listening to me. 362 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:07,599 Look. 363 00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:09,601 We got the guy who shot up the theater. 364 00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,019 I got eyewitnesses who IDed him. 365 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,354 I got signed, notarized statements, 366 00:21:12,479 --> 00:21:14,231 and I got a confession. 367 00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,233 Case closed. 368 00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:17,067 Who's this? 369 00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:17,901 That's the perp. 370 00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:20,988 You see? 371 00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:22,030 I told you. 372 00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:24,533 That's not the guy. 373 00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:26,702 Harry, you don't get it, do you? 374 00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:27,327 That's it. 375 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:28,704 The case is closed. 376 00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:29,496 Look. I'm happy. 377 00:21:29,579 --> 00:21:30,372 The Commissioner's happy. 378 00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:31,415 The Mayor's happy. 379 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,208 And Reginald Stuart is happy. 380 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:34,918 And there's one other loose end. 381 00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:37,462 There's a woman waiting for you in the interrogation room. 382 00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:39,548 She says she was at the theater last night. 383 00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:41,800 The old man who was killed was her grandfather. 384 00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:44,803 Find out what she wants and give her the good news. 385 00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:45,637 But-- 386 00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:46,305 But nothing! 387 00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:47,222 That's it! 388 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,724 The case is closed. 389 00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:53,228 You have a very important new assignment, 390 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:54,896 the Goldberg dry cleaning case. 391 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,357 I'm taking Joseph off and I'm putting you on it. 392 00:21:57,441 --> 00:21:59,568 Goldberg Dry Cleaners? 393 00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:02,904 Those three stupid stolen shirts? 394 00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:06,325 It's four, and they're my stupid, stolen shirts! 395 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,118 Now get to it! 396 00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:21,715 This is the part where you leave, Griswold. 397 00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:24,676 Holy cow. 398 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:25,302 There. 399 00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:26,595 She's naked. 400 00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:27,346 What? 401 00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:29,014 Is it Felicia the Flasher? 402 00:22:36,104 --> 00:22:38,565 [phone ringing] 403 00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:47,366 Sergeant Griswold, I do not have 404 00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:49,409 much time, so I'll be brief. 405 00:22:51,953 --> 00:22:54,748 A regrettable twist of fate has chosen you 406 00:22:54,831 --> 00:22:58,293 as a recipient of amazing, super mortal powers 407 00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:00,128 that have been passed down through generations 408 00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,506 of kabuki actors in my family. 409 00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:04,716 Please, consume the banquet of joining 410 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,718 in honor of your benefactors. 411 00:23:09,137 --> 00:23:10,514 What? 412 00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:11,306 Eat! 413 00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,140 All right. 414 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:13,058 That's it. 415 00:23:13,141 --> 00:23:13,975 I am outta here. 416 00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:19,689 Oh, oh, oh. 417 00:23:19,815 --> 00:23:21,024 I get it. 418 00:23:21,149 --> 00:23:22,317 This is a joke, right? 419 00:23:22,442 --> 00:23:24,736 This is no joke, Detective. 420 00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:27,364 The changes in you have already begun. 421 00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:29,991 I saw the markings on your face at the theater. 422 00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:31,535 Look at how you are dress now. 423 00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:34,663 The spirit of Kabukiman lives within you. 424 00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:35,539 Eat! 425 00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:41,878 Oh, look, Miss. 426 00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:46,133 Please. 427 00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:54,516 Uh. 428 00:23:54,641 --> 00:23:55,934 I'm sorry about what happened. 429 00:23:56,017 --> 00:23:59,729 And I know you've suffered a terrible loss. 430 00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:03,024 But I have some good news for you. 431 00:24:03,150 --> 00:24:05,152 They caught the guy who killed your grandfather. 432 00:24:08,113 --> 00:24:08,864 You 433 00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:09,781 Fool! 434 00:24:09,865 --> 00:24:11,366 They do not have the one responsible 435 00:24:11,491 --> 00:24:13,034 for my grandfather's death. 436 00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:14,369 Why do you say that? 437 00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:17,998 Because my grandfather was not killed by a man. 438 00:24:18,081 --> 00:24:22,169 His death was orchestrated by the spirit of the evil one. 439 00:24:22,252 --> 00:24:24,254 Evil spirits? 440 00:24:24,379 --> 00:24:25,505 Come on now. 441 00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:26,715 You're a full grown woman, all right? 442 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,384 You just talk to me in normal English. 443 00:24:29,509 --> 00:24:32,596 At the end of Mercury's next journey, 444 00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:34,848 the Dragon shall dance through the hoop of Jupiter. 445 00:24:34,931 --> 00:24:36,057 Jup-- 446 00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:38,643 And at that moment, the Monkey will ride the Jaguar 447 00:24:38,727 --> 00:24:40,854 and the Tiger will feast on the Nubile. 448 00:24:40,937 --> 00:24:43,440 The order of the universe will be such that the evil one 449 00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:45,484 will reign for eternity. 450 00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:49,821 Now do I make myself perfectly clear? 451 00:24:49,905 --> 00:24:50,655 Oh yeah. 452 00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:51,656 Yeah. 453 00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:52,282 Fine. 454 00:24:52,407 --> 00:24:53,825 Mhm. 455 00:24:53,909 --> 00:24:57,871 I"ll send a squad car over right away to pick up Mr. Evil. 456 00:24:57,954 --> 00:25:01,666 Now just one question for the big money. 457 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:04,252 Who is the evil one? 458 00:25:04,377 --> 00:25:05,337 Five seconds. 459 00:25:05,420 --> 00:25:07,047 I do not know! 460 00:25:07,130 --> 00:25:09,799 You're the detective! 461 00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:15,138 Yes, I am the detective and you are a fruit loop! 462 00:25:15,263 --> 00:25:17,265 Do not treat me as an inferior. 463 00:25:17,390 --> 00:25:18,642 I am easily your better! 464 00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:20,685 If only the order of the universe 465 00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:23,063 were not so unfair to womankind, I 466 00:25:23,146 --> 00:25:24,856 would have been chosen to receive the gift 467 00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:26,608 and would not now be dealing with such 468 00:25:26,733 --> 00:25:30,445 a penis-wielding imbecile as yourself! 469 00:25:30,570 --> 00:25:32,572 You will find me when the time is right. 470 00:25:36,034 --> 00:25:37,536 [door closes] 471 00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:40,539 GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): I didn't buy 472 00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:42,874 that story the Captain gave me about Reginald 473 00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:44,459 Stuart and his men. 474 00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:46,378 So I decided to go over to his office 475 00:25:46,461 --> 00:25:48,630 and see what Mr. Stuart was up to. 476 00:25:48,755 --> 00:25:50,465 SECRETARY (ON PHONE): Shall I say you're in a meeting? 477 00:25:50,590 --> 00:25:52,926 STUART: No, let's see what the little fella wants. 478 00:25:57,138 --> 00:25:57,889 How you doing, boys? 479 00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:04,104 Oh, oh. 480 00:26:04,187 --> 00:26:07,148 Hey, I hope I'm not interrupting something. 481 00:26:07,274 --> 00:26:08,149 I'll just-- 482 00:26:08,275 --> 00:26:09,067 Not at all. 483 00:26:09,150 --> 00:26:10,151 Please, just come in. 484 00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:12,320 I hope you won't mind if I won't get up? 485 00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:14,406 No, no, no. 486 00:26:14,489 --> 00:26:15,740 Whatever. 487 00:26:15,824 --> 00:26:17,409 Fine. 488 00:26:17,492 --> 00:26:19,035 Ah, not so hard. 489 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:20,328 That's better. 490 00:26:20,453 --> 00:26:23,999 Ah, now it's Mr. Oswold, is it? 491 00:26:24,124 --> 00:26:25,375 Sergeant Griswold. 492 00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:29,170 Well, how many I be of service to you, Detective Griswold? 493 00:26:29,254 --> 00:26:32,340 I understand that your company financed the Japanese theater 494 00:26:32,465 --> 00:26:34,050 troupe that was attacked last night, 495 00:26:34,175 --> 00:26:38,054 and that your men helped break it up. 496 00:26:38,179 --> 00:26:39,681 Griswold, of course. 497 00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:41,725 You're the officer who shot my employees. 498 00:26:41,850 --> 00:26:43,977 Well, you need not worry, Detective Griswold. 499 00:26:44,060 --> 00:26:46,646 I've advised them not to press charges against you. 500 00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:51,443 You were, after all, just doing your job, weren't you? 501 00:26:51,526 --> 00:26:53,945 Ah, finished. 502 00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:54,988 Great, Amanda. 503 00:26:55,071 --> 00:26:57,073 Absolutely great. 504 00:26:57,198 --> 00:26:59,951 Thank you so much, dear. 505 00:27:00,035 --> 00:27:02,037 They were a little more scuffed than usual, Mr. Stuart, 506 00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:05,790 but the hard brush took care of it. 507 00:27:05,874 --> 00:27:08,293 Have you ever considered working in the private sector, 508 00:27:08,376 --> 00:27:10,420 Detective Griswold. 509 00:27:10,545 --> 00:27:14,299 You could afford so many nice things. 510 00:27:14,382 --> 00:27:16,051 I don't need nice things. 511 00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:26,061 Isn't that an authentic Shogun sword 512 00:27:26,144 --> 00:27:31,358 from the Tokugawa Ieyasu Shogunate manufactured 513 00:27:31,441 --> 00:27:35,987 in Edo in, I'd say, 1630? 514 00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:37,030 Why, yes. 515 00:27:37,113 --> 00:27:38,823 As a matter of fact, it is a Tokugawa, 516 00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:42,369 and it was made in Edo. 517 00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:45,538 But how did you know that? 518 00:27:45,622 --> 00:27:46,373 How did I know that? 519 00:27:49,793 --> 00:27:53,088 It's such a beautiful instrument, 520 00:27:53,213 --> 00:27:54,339 so perfectly balanced. 521 00:27:57,592 --> 00:27:58,343 May I? 522 00:27:58,426 --> 00:27:59,177 Please. 523 00:28:15,777 --> 00:28:17,529 [speaking japanese] 524 00:28:17,612 --> 00:28:18,780 Detective Griswold. 525 00:28:18,905 --> 00:28:21,199 Detective Griswold. 526 00:28:21,282 --> 00:28:23,326 Detective Griswold! 527 00:28:23,451 --> 00:28:24,327 Oh. 528 00:28:24,452 --> 00:28:25,161 Oh. 529 00:28:27,997 --> 00:28:29,874 [gasp] 530 00:28:34,129 --> 00:28:35,588 I hope that wasn't expensive. 531 00:28:35,672 --> 00:28:36,423 Expensive? 532 00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:40,844 That vase cost just a little bit more 533 00:28:40,969 --> 00:28:43,680 than you're likely to make ever. 534 00:28:45,974 --> 00:28:47,016 GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): And I thought 535 00:28:47,142 --> 00:28:48,435 it was best I left things the way 536 00:28:48,518 --> 00:28:50,478 they were with Reggie Stuart. 537 00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:54,774 Anyway, I had a very important appointment with Connie LaRosa. 538 00:28:54,858 --> 00:28:57,527 it was my big chance to impress her. 539 00:28:57,652 --> 00:28:59,112 Yo, Grizz. 540 00:28:59,195 --> 00:29:00,280 Looking good. 541 00:29:00,363 --> 00:29:01,156 Come on. 542 00:29:01,281 --> 00:29:01,990 I wanna see you sweat. 543 00:29:04,617 --> 00:29:06,786 You do this to yourself everyday? 544 00:29:06,870 --> 00:29:08,455 No, I usually run 10 miles. 545 00:29:08,538 --> 00:29:13,168 But today, since you're here, I think we'll only do 3. 546 00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:15,670 Besides, we should save our energy for later. 547 00:29:15,795 --> 00:29:16,504 Later? 548 00:29:16,629 --> 00:29:18,631 Yeah, later. 549 00:29:18,715 --> 00:29:19,466 Connie? 550 00:29:19,549 --> 00:29:21,593 CONNIE: Yeah? 551 00:29:21,676 --> 00:29:22,802 I gotta stop now or I'll die. 552 00:29:26,347 --> 00:29:27,849 Not bad, Grizz. 553 00:29:27,974 --> 00:29:29,559 I expected you to boot two laps ago. 554 00:29:29,684 --> 00:29:32,353 You're an animal, LaRosa, an animal. 555 00:29:32,479 --> 00:29:35,940 I don't know, but if you're after this Reverend Snipes guy, 556 00:29:36,024 --> 00:29:38,193 I almost pity the poor bastard. 557 00:29:38,318 --> 00:29:39,861 You know all those wonderful youth centers 558 00:29:39,986 --> 00:29:41,404 he's got set up all over town? 559 00:29:41,529 --> 00:29:44,365 Well, it just so happens that he's using it as a front 560 00:29:44,491 --> 00:29:46,367 for a major drug operation. 561 00:29:46,493 --> 00:29:49,037 And he's got this huge corporation, Stuart Pandex, 562 00:29:49,162 --> 00:29:50,872 paying for the whole thing. 563 00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:52,582 Stuart Pandex? 564 00:29:52,707 --> 00:29:53,833 As in, Reginald Stuart? 565 00:29:53,917 --> 00:29:55,877 You know how Snipes passes himself off 566 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:58,213 as this anti-establishment activist, 567 00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:01,341 like he's some kind of man of the street, friend to the poor? 568 00:30:01,424 --> 00:30:03,885 Well, it just so happens that he's a major shareholder 569 00:30:03,968 --> 00:30:05,637 in Stuart Pandex. 570 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:11,559 And not only that, Harry, he hasn't paid taxes in years! 571 00:30:11,684 --> 00:30:14,312 Hasn't paid taxes? 572 00:30:14,395 --> 00:30:15,480 He oughtta run for mayor. 573 00:30:15,563 --> 00:30:18,358 I got enough to bust this guy right now, Harry. 574 00:30:18,441 --> 00:30:20,151 I just gotta put all the information together 575 00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:21,236 for Bender. 576 00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:22,987 I'm gonna make detective for this one, Harry. 577 00:30:25,657 --> 00:30:28,493 You deserve it, Connie. 578 00:30:28,576 --> 00:30:29,869 You're a good cop. 579 00:30:29,953 --> 00:30:31,704 You think so, Harry? 580 00:30:31,788 --> 00:30:33,665 You know I do. 581 00:30:33,748 --> 00:30:35,416 Tonight. 582 00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:36,251 Thanks. 583 00:30:45,969 --> 00:30:47,470 I think I'll run a few more laps. 584 00:30:47,595 --> 00:30:48,429 You'll wait here for me? 585 00:30:52,475 --> 00:30:54,602 Knock yourself out. 586 00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:56,437 GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): What kind of a detective was I? 587 00:30:56,521 --> 00:31:00,108 LaRosa was after Snipes, but Snipes was gonna get LaRosa. 588 00:31:00,233 --> 00:31:01,526 I should have been there for her. 589 00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:06,197 Hey, you. 590 00:31:06,281 --> 00:31:08,825 You, haven't I seen you around Reverend Snipes' youth center, 591 00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:10,910 snooping around the boys? 592 00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:12,036 The boys just love spandex. 593 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,621 Hey, what's the matter with you? 594 00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:15,623 I was just kidding, sweetheart. 595 00:31:15,707 --> 00:31:16,875 Get off. 596 00:31:16,958 --> 00:31:19,460 [laughter] 597 00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:22,755 Enjoy your spandex! 598 00:31:22,839 --> 00:31:24,465 You just got yourself a bunch of new boyfriends. 599 00:31:36,144 --> 00:31:37,437 Hey! 600 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:38,813 Get the freaking bitch! 601 00:31:38,938 --> 00:31:39,814 Come on, let's go. 602 00:31:39,898 --> 00:31:40,857 Come on. 603 00:31:50,658 --> 00:31:51,367 Get off me! 604 00:31:54,871 --> 00:31:57,332 [screaming] 605 00:32:06,841 --> 00:32:09,093 We'll pleasure you, policewoman. 606 00:32:09,177 --> 00:32:09,928 Connie! 607 00:32:14,807 --> 00:32:17,101 [screaming] 608 00:32:17,185 --> 00:32:21,272 Scream for your life, sugar pie. 609 00:32:21,356 --> 00:32:22,273 Freeze, police! 610 00:32:33,743 --> 00:32:36,245 [gunshots] 611 00:33:13,074 --> 00:33:16,577 This guy's not normal. 612 00:33:16,703 --> 00:33:17,578 Something's wrong here. 613 00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:22,583 What the-- 614 00:34:42,121 --> 00:34:43,081 What the hell? 615 00:34:49,128 --> 00:34:52,131 Kabukiman sanjo. 616 00:34:54,675 --> 00:34:57,178 [opera music playing] 617 00:35:19,033 --> 00:35:22,537 Hey, who put that there? 618 00:35:22,662 --> 00:35:25,123 [growling] 619 00:35:38,010 --> 00:35:38,928 Die. 620 00:35:39,053 --> 00:35:42,723 Gonna mess you up, dead meat. 621 00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:50,398 Yoohoo. 622 00:36:06,330 --> 00:36:07,540 Come on, man. Let's go. 623 00:36:07,623 --> 00:36:08,541 Come on. 624 00:36:08,624 --> 00:36:09,542 One more time. 625 00:36:09,625 --> 00:36:10,376 Come on. 626 00:36:18,968 --> 00:36:20,469 Stop. 627 00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:21,262 Stay back. 628 00:36:21,387 --> 00:36:22,889 This is police business. 629 00:36:22,972 --> 00:36:24,599 Hit the deck! 630 00:36:24,724 --> 00:36:25,433 Come on. 631 00:36:32,106 --> 00:36:32,815 Whoa! 632 00:36:37,069 --> 00:36:38,696 You're going down, faggot! 633 00:36:48,289 --> 00:36:50,791 Oh my god! 634 00:36:50,917 --> 00:36:52,293 Using chopsticks! 635 00:36:52,418 --> 00:36:54,921 You'd suppose he'd use knives and forks. 636 00:37:02,428 --> 00:37:05,139 You clumsy carnival cop! 637 00:37:05,181 --> 00:37:08,684 What are you gonna do to me, a poor, defenseless woman, huh? 638 00:37:08,809 --> 00:37:09,644 A woman alone! 639 00:37:09,769 --> 00:37:11,437 Argh! 640 00:37:11,854 --> 00:37:14,315 And besides, that striped outfit looks ridiculous. 641 00:37:14,523 --> 00:37:15,650 Sounds like my ex-wife. 642 00:37:30,331 --> 00:37:32,166 Oh, here . You want this? 643 00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:33,584 Here you go. 644 00:37:45,346 --> 00:37:47,848 [sirens wailing] 645 00:37:53,854 --> 00:37:54,730 Connie! 646 00:37:54,855 --> 00:37:56,274 Office, don't bother taking notes. 647 00:37:56,357 --> 00:37:58,150 Only three people were killed. 648 00:37:58,234 --> 00:38:00,236 But I feel much safer in the park now. 649 00:38:00,361 --> 00:38:03,114 This guy in the bathrobe is a real hero. 650 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:04,532 A real New York hero, huh? 651 00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:05,491 Yeah. 652 00:38:05,574 --> 00:38:06,325 Connie! 653 00:38:11,956 --> 00:38:13,040 I'm sorry. 654 00:38:13,165 --> 00:38:14,792 I-- I shouldn't have let this happen. 655 00:38:20,006 --> 00:38:21,382 What are you doing here? 656 00:38:21,465 --> 00:38:22,800 -Freeze, you two! -Don't shoot! 657 00:38:22,883 --> 00:38:23,634 Stop. 658 00:38:23,718 --> 00:38:24,260 I'm a cop. 659 00:38:24,385 --> 00:38:25,219 I'm a cop. 660 00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:26,429 I have a badge. 661 00:38:26,554 --> 00:38:27,555 I'm Harry Griswold. 662 00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:28,889 Griswold? 663 00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:32,101 Hey, I hear about this guy running around with makeup on. 664 00:38:32,226 --> 00:38:33,936 All right, Griswold. 665 00:38:34,061 --> 00:38:35,313 Let me see your shield. 666 00:38:35,396 --> 00:38:38,816 Where the-- oh. 667 00:38:38,899 --> 00:38:39,984 It's over here. 668 00:38:40,067 --> 00:38:40,860 Slowly. 669 00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:48,075 Holy shit. 670 00:38:48,159 --> 00:38:48,909 It is Griswold! 671 00:38:48,993 --> 00:38:49,785 Yeah. 672 00:38:49,910 --> 00:38:50,870 Yeah, that's the guy. 673 00:38:50,953 --> 00:38:52,288 He did it to us. 674 00:38:52,413 --> 00:38:54,957 Shut up, you weenie! 675 00:38:55,082 --> 00:38:55,791 Pig! 676 00:38:58,085 --> 00:38:59,879 GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): Lotus and I rode in the ambulance 677 00:38:59,962 --> 00:39:02,423 with LaRosa, but the doctors made us leave 678 00:39:02,548 --> 00:39:04,508 and so Lotus and I decided to wait 679 00:39:04,592 --> 00:39:07,094 it out in an Italian restaurant across the street. 680 00:39:07,219 --> 00:39:09,513 I was depressed, and I was confused, 681 00:39:09,597 --> 00:39:11,891 and I was turning Japanese. 682 00:39:11,974 --> 00:39:12,725 Here's your fish! 683 00:39:16,395 --> 00:39:17,563 What kind of a schmuck orders raw 684 00:39:17,646 --> 00:39:18,773 fish in an Italian restaurant? 685 00:39:27,948 --> 00:39:30,534 I've been craving raw mackerel all day. 686 00:39:34,288 --> 00:39:35,581 I can't believe this. 687 00:39:35,664 --> 00:39:39,627 I'm eating a smelly, dead fish, and I'm loving it. 688 00:39:39,752 --> 00:39:44,298 Are you so blind you cannot see the changes in yourself? 689 00:39:44,423 --> 00:39:47,510 Detective, soon the Dragon will dance 690 00:39:47,635 --> 00:39:48,969 through the hoop of Jupiter. 691 00:39:49,053 --> 00:39:51,597 If at that moment, the Monkey will ride the Jaguar 692 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:53,682 and the Tiger will feast on the Nubile, 693 00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:56,977 the order of the universe will be such that the evil one will 694 00:39:57,103 --> 00:39:58,479 reign supreme for eternity! 695 00:39:58,562 --> 00:40:01,315 There are only a few days left! 696 00:40:01,399 --> 00:40:02,566 Oh, oh my. 697 00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:05,194 And I haven't even started shopping yet. 698 00:40:05,319 --> 00:40:09,073 The Chosen One who was killed had trained for 25 years. 699 00:40:09,156 --> 00:40:11,951 If we do not begin to try and master your powers, 700 00:40:12,034 --> 00:40:15,079 there will be no champion to oppose the evil one. 701 00:40:15,162 --> 00:40:16,122 Champion? 702 00:40:16,205 --> 00:40:18,165 This champion stuff, I'm sorry. 703 00:40:18,249 --> 00:40:21,293 They didn't have the champion course at the Police Academy. 704 00:40:21,377 --> 00:40:23,754 I'm just a gun and badge man. 705 00:40:23,838 --> 00:40:26,382 You do not have a choice in the matter. 706 00:40:26,507 --> 00:40:27,925 Fate has selected you. 707 00:40:28,008 --> 00:40:30,970 You are the Kabukiman. 708 00:40:31,053 --> 00:40:32,346 It is your duty. 709 00:40:32,471 --> 00:40:33,681 NEWSCASTER (ON TV): A New York City policewoman 710 00:40:33,764 --> 00:40:35,266 was brutally raped and beaten in a Central 711 00:40:35,349 --> 00:40:36,434 Park wildling incident today. 712 00:40:36,517 --> 00:40:38,018 I can't believe it. 713 00:40:38,102 --> 00:40:39,353 NEWSCASTER (ON TV): We now take you live to Reverend Snipes, 714 00:40:39,478 --> 00:40:40,771 outspoken community leader. 715 00:40:40,855 --> 00:40:42,523 What is it? 716 00:40:42,648 --> 00:40:44,775 I'm an angry man tonight. 717 00:40:44,859 --> 00:40:46,861 And I hope I'm not alone in my anger. 718 00:40:46,944 --> 00:40:50,823 When man children are persecuted for youthful indiscretions 719 00:40:50,906 --> 00:40:54,910 as though they were hardened criminals, it makes me angry! 720 00:40:55,035 --> 00:40:57,246 The media circus that's been generated 721 00:40:57,371 --> 00:41:01,417 by this minor incident makes me angry! 722 00:41:01,542 --> 00:41:05,671 You know and I know that your television cameras 723 00:41:05,754 --> 00:41:08,549 and your newspaper reporters would be nowhere in sight 724 00:41:08,674 --> 00:41:10,968 if those involved had been the children 725 00:41:11,051 --> 00:41:18,142 of privilege instead of these innocent victims of poverty. 726 00:41:18,225 --> 00:41:22,813 Why do we hear about the deadly transvestite detective, 727 00:41:22,897 --> 00:41:24,773 the sadist in a striped bathrobe-- 728 00:41:24,899 --> 00:41:27,109 [gunshots] 729 00:41:27,234 --> 00:41:30,237 Publicity-hungry jackass! 730 00:41:30,321 --> 00:41:32,406 He's more trouble than he's worth. 731 00:41:32,531 --> 00:41:34,158 I never should have given him the assignment. 732 00:41:34,241 --> 00:41:36,535 I told you to let me handle it. 733 00:41:36,619 --> 00:41:38,496 You were right. 734 00:41:38,579 --> 00:41:39,830 Rembrandt's always right. 735 00:41:39,914 --> 00:41:42,208 Rembrandt, I want you to insert yourself much 736 00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:43,459 more deeply into the situation. 737 00:41:43,584 --> 00:41:44,877 Yes, sir. 738 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:46,253 That policewoman does not live through the night, 739 00:41:46,337 --> 00:41:47,087 you understand? 740 00:41:47,171 --> 00:41:48,422 Yes, sir. 741 00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:52,593 Rembrandt, this time, be a little less artistic. 742 00:41:52,718 --> 00:41:55,471 Just make it look like a simple accident, OK? 743 00:41:57,598 --> 00:41:59,808 Gee, officer, LaRosa, it's such a shame 744 00:41:59,934 --> 00:42:01,644 that the hospital's gonna make a slight mistake 745 00:42:01,769 --> 00:42:03,479 with your dosage. 746 00:42:06,815 --> 00:42:08,275 Goodbye, Officer LaRosa. 747 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:09,485 Hello, Doctor. 748 00:42:09,610 --> 00:42:11,695 Well, excuse me, Doctor. 749 00:42:11,779 --> 00:42:13,405 You're too important to speak to a lowly nurse. 750 00:42:13,489 --> 00:42:15,699 Boy, that burns me down. 751 00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:18,410 Well, dear, it's time for your aspirin. 752 00:42:18,494 --> 00:42:20,162 [muffled shouting] 753 00:42:20,287 --> 00:42:24,124 Gee, I guess you're not doing as well as I thought you were. 754 00:42:24,208 --> 00:42:25,459 My goodness. 755 00:42:25,543 --> 00:42:27,962 That's a lot of morphine the Doctor's prescribed. 756 00:42:28,087 --> 00:42:28,629 Oh well. 757 00:42:28,712 --> 00:42:29,630 Doctor knows best. 758 00:42:29,713 --> 00:42:32,174 [muffled shouting] 759 00:42:35,010 --> 00:42:35,761 Yes, dear. 760 00:42:35,844 --> 00:42:38,764 I know you're in a lot of pain. 761 00:42:38,847 --> 00:42:41,350 But you're gonna be all right in a minute. 762 00:43:00,494 --> 00:43:01,245 Holy shit. 763 00:43:06,333 --> 00:43:07,209 Connie LaRosa. 764 00:43:07,334 --> 00:43:08,377 LaRosa's room, where is it? 765 00:43:08,502 --> 00:43:09,420 No visitors. 766 00:43:09,503 --> 00:43:10,212 What do you mean no visitors? 767 00:43:10,337 --> 00:43:11,046 Wait a-- 768 00:43:16,176 --> 00:43:18,053 It wasn't my fault. I was watching TV and then 769 00:43:18,178 --> 00:43:19,096 they just came in and-- 770 00:43:19,179 --> 00:43:20,556 You were supposed to give her aspirin. 771 00:43:20,681 --> 00:43:21,432 Look what you did to her. 772 00:43:21,515 --> 00:43:23,183 It killed her. 773 00:43:23,309 --> 00:43:24,476 She had a headache. 774 00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:26,061 Now she's dead. 775 00:43:26,186 --> 00:43:27,062 What happened? 776 00:43:27,187 --> 00:43:28,564 DOCTOR: I'm gonna be in big trouble. 777 00:43:28,689 --> 00:43:29,815 This is gonna go on your permanent record. 778 00:43:29,898 --> 00:43:30,691 NURSE: No, don't let it ruin my career. 779 00:43:30,774 --> 00:43:31,442 It was an accident! 780 00:43:31,525 --> 00:43:32,651 I'm sorry, sir! 781 00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:47,041 Connie? 782 00:43:51,545 --> 00:43:52,296 I'm telling you, Dick. 783 00:43:52,379 --> 00:43:53,672 LaRosa was murdered. 784 00:43:53,756 --> 00:43:55,424 She was murdered! 785 00:43:55,549 --> 00:43:57,384 I saw him in the hospital, the same guy 786 00:43:57,509 --> 00:43:58,469 I saw shoot up the theater! 787 00:43:58,552 --> 00:44:00,262 And I told you, Griswold. 788 00:44:00,387 --> 00:44:02,556 The theater case is closed. 789 00:44:02,681 --> 00:44:03,432 Come on, Dick. 790 00:44:03,557 --> 00:44:04,475 Wake up. 791 00:44:04,558 --> 00:44:06,894 Something stinks here. 792 00:44:06,977 --> 00:44:08,562 All right. 793 00:44:08,646 --> 00:44:10,773 First, this Reginald Stuart guy just hands 794 00:44:10,898 --> 00:44:13,233 us the supposed theater killer. 795 00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:16,737 Then Reverend Snipes, who LaRosa was investigating, 796 00:44:16,862 --> 00:44:19,657 bails out the gang that attacked LaRosa. 797 00:44:19,740 --> 00:44:22,326 And then the hospital just happens to mix up 798 00:44:22,409 --> 00:44:25,287 LaRosa's charts and kills her? 799 00:44:25,412 --> 00:44:26,914 I'm telling you, Dick. 800 00:44:26,997 --> 00:44:29,500 The guy who shot up the theater is the guy who killed LaRosa. 801 00:44:29,583 --> 00:44:32,670 And somehow Stuart and Snipes are involved. 802 00:44:32,753 --> 00:44:34,296 Cut the crap, Griswold. 803 00:44:34,421 --> 00:44:35,589 You're not fooling anybody. 804 00:44:35,714 --> 00:44:37,091 If you'd have stuck to being a cop instead 805 00:44:37,174 --> 00:44:40,344 of dancing around in your fairy suit, none of this 806 00:44:40,427 --> 00:44:41,762 would have happened. 807 00:44:41,887 --> 00:44:43,389 LaRosa's dead 'cause of you, asshole. 808 00:44:47,643 --> 00:44:48,519 Cut it out! 809 00:44:48,602 --> 00:44:50,104 Cut it out. 810 00:44:50,187 --> 00:44:52,481 Cut it out! 811 00:44:52,606 --> 00:44:53,524 Now, look. 812 00:44:53,607 --> 00:44:56,694 We're all upset about Connie. 813 00:44:56,777 --> 00:44:59,780 Yesterday, the Commissioner calls 814 00:44:59,905 --> 00:45:02,074 me to take a bite out of my ass the size of Brooklyn 815 00:45:02,157 --> 00:45:04,535 because one of my men is running around harassing 816 00:45:04,618 --> 00:45:07,079 Reginald Stuart! 817 00:45:07,996 --> 00:45:10,082 Look, I got newspapers all over my ass about a vigilante cop. 818 00:45:10,165 --> 00:45:11,417 This is it, Harry. 819 00:45:11,500 --> 00:45:12,751 This is the last warning. 820 00:45:12,835 --> 00:45:15,295 There will be no more makeup, no more kimonos, 821 00:45:15,379 --> 00:45:18,132 and no more chopsticks! 822 00:45:18,215 --> 00:45:20,676 So you're just gonna leave Snipes alone? 823 00:45:20,801 --> 00:45:22,636 Harry, Harry, get the hell out! 824 00:45:22,761 --> 00:45:23,470 Get the hell out! 825 00:45:23,595 --> 00:45:24,638 Get the hell out! 826 00:45:24,722 --> 00:45:25,472 Jesus Christ. 827 00:45:30,269 --> 00:45:31,937 GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): Something had to be done. 828 00:45:32,020 --> 00:45:35,065 Snipes had to be dealt with. 829 00:45:36,024 --> 00:45:38,902 REVEREND SNIPES: Brothers and sisters, brethren and sistern, 830 00:45:38,986 --> 00:45:40,738 let me hear an amen. 831 00:45:40,821 --> 00:45:42,573 CONGREGATION: Amen! 832 00:45:42,656 --> 00:45:44,158 Hallelujah! 833 00:45:44,283 --> 00:45:45,784 REVEREND SNIPES: The good Lord thanks you for your generosity. 834 00:45:45,868 --> 00:45:47,745 CONGREGATION: Preach the word! 835 00:45:47,828 --> 00:45:51,248 Your money will help pay for the legal defense 836 00:45:51,331 --> 00:45:55,502 of these innocent young victims of the wealthy elite who 837 00:45:55,627 --> 00:45:58,005 run this city. 838 00:45:58,088 --> 00:46:00,215 Now, I'm not gonna ask you where you 839 00:46:00,340 --> 00:46:05,012 got all those watches and jewelry that you so 840 00:46:05,137 --> 00:46:08,015 generously gave to your church. 841 00:46:08,098 --> 00:46:11,268 Because now is the time to give with open arms. 842 00:46:11,351 --> 00:46:13,729 Boy, this stuff is coming in hot and heavy. 843 00:46:13,854 --> 00:46:16,190 And there's plenty more out there. 844 00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:18,442 Let me hear an amen! 845 00:46:18,525 --> 00:46:20,694 Amen! 846 00:46:20,819 --> 00:46:25,199 We must be strong against the scourge of crime. 847 00:46:25,324 --> 00:46:27,242 Hallelujah! 848 00:46:27,367 --> 00:46:31,413 We must be strong against the scourge of racists. 849 00:46:31,538 --> 00:46:35,250 But most of all, we must be strong against the scourge 850 00:46:35,375 --> 00:46:36,543 of drugs! 851 00:46:36,668 --> 00:46:38,796 CONGREGATION: Tell the word of God! 852 00:46:38,879 --> 00:46:41,423 Beware the dealers of drugs. 853 00:46:41,548 --> 00:46:43,217 For they are everywhere. 854 00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:46,470 Why, some of those vultures are standing across the street, 855 00:46:46,553 --> 00:46:48,972 peddling their poison even now. 856 00:46:49,056 --> 00:46:52,601 In fact, one of 'em's wearing a big red hat, 857 00:46:52,726 --> 00:46:54,812 red like the Devil. 858 00:46:54,895 --> 00:46:57,523 You can't miss him! 859 00:46:57,606 --> 00:46:59,107 [chuckling] 860 00:47:22,297 --> 00:47:26,051 Reverend, Sargent Harry Griswold. 861 00:47:26,134 --> 00:47:28,262 I wanna ask you some questions. 862 00:47:28,387 --> 00:47:30,764 My people have been harassed enough 863 00:47:30,889 --> 00:47:33,725 by you and your stormtrooper detectives. 864 00:47:33,809 --> 00:47:35,894 I have nothing to say. 865 00:47:37,938 --> 00:47:40,274 Well, then I'll talk. 866 00:47:40,399 --> 00:47:43,777 Because I think it's pretty damn strange that these maggots 867 00:47:43,861 --> 00:47:46,530 you're defending attacked a police officer 868 00:47:46,613 --> 00:47:48,615 that was investigating you. 869 00:47:48,699 --> 00:47:51,285 And now she's dead. 870 00:47:51,368 --> 00:47:55,873 How dare you come into my-- I mean, 871 00:47:55,956 --> 00:47:59,668 the Lord's house and accuse me. 872 00:48:00,544 --> 00:48:05,465 I have more lawyers than you've got fingers, junior. 873 00:48:07,467 --> 00:48:12,431 Sure, you're upset over the accidental death 874 00:48:12,514 --> 00:48:14,975 of a fellow office. 875 00:48:15,058 --> 00:48:17,477 I understand. 876 00:48:17,603 --> 00:48:22,274 But from what I hear, she was dressed pretty hot. 877 00:48:22,357 --> 00:48:24,151 Maybe she was in the park looking 878 00:48:24,276 --> 00:48:28,530 for a little action, Detective. 879 00:48:30,157 --> 00:48:30,866 Ugh! 880 00:48:36,413 --> 00:48:38,373 Stay back. 881 00:48:38,498 --> 00:48:40,667 I can't be responsible for what's gonna happen! 882 00:48:40,792 --> 00:48:41,501 Oh, that's it. 883 00:48:44,338 --> 00:48:47,633 Kabuki spirit, come on now! 884 00:48:54,848 --> 00:48:56,350 Stay back! 885 00:48:56,433 --> 00:48:58,560 He's turning into that guy in the striped bathrobe again! 886 00:49:10,364 --> 00:49:11,114 All right. 887 00:49:15,619 --> 00:49:17,621 Nobody move! 888 00:49:17,704 --> 00:49:18,664 Watch him, man! 889 00:49:18,747 --> 00:49:19,706 He's crazy. 890 00:49:19,790 --> 00:49:21,583 You bastards. 891 00:49:21,708 --> 00:49:24,044 You killed LaRosa! 892 00:49:24,169 --> 00:49:27,047 Now I'm gonna get you. 893 00:49:27,130 --> 00:49:29,091 Don't kill me. 894 00:49:29,216 --> 00:49:32,010 I'll give you anything you want. 895 00:49:32,094 --> 00:49:33,136 I'll give you drugs. 896 00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:34,888 I'll give you women. 897 00:49:35,013 --> 00:49:38,100 I'll give you my season tickets to the Giants! 898 00:49:38,225 --> 00:49:39,643 What do you want? 899 00:49:39,726 --> 00:49:41,436 I want you! 900 00:49:47,067 --> 00:49:49,277 Quit clowning with us, asshole. 901 00:49:49,444 --> 00:49:50,028 I warn you. 902 00:49:50,112 --> 00:49:51,822 I'll use my chopsticks! 903 00:49:59,830 --> 00:50:02,332 [squeaking] 904 00:50:10,799 --> 00:50:13,093 Where'd that clown go? 905 00:50:13,218 --> 00:50:15,095 Police emergency, kid. 906 00:50:15,220 --> 00:50:18,432 I need to commandeer this vehicle. 907 00:50:18,557 --> 00:50:19,307 Now! 908 00:50:28,108 --> 00:50:28,817 Here. 909 00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:57,637 Let's get out of here. 910 00:50:57,763 --> 00:51:00,640 Let me go! 911 00:51:00,766 --> 00:51:02,017 Let me go. 912 00:51:02,142 --> 00:51:05,228 What the hell are you doing, boys? 913 00:51:06,730 --> 00:51:07,522 Hey, buddy. 914 00:51:07,522 --> 00:51:09,066 What's the matter with you? 915 00:51:10,734 --> 00:51:13,236 [screaming] 916 00:51:15,864 --> 00:51:16,615 A tricycle. 917 00:51:19,701 --> 00:51:20,619 A unicycle. 918 00:51:20,702 --> 00:51:22,662 This'll do. 919 00:51:23,288 --> 00:51:24,206 Excuse me. Pardon me. 920 00:51:24,331 --> 00:51:25,165 Pardon me. Excuse me. 921 00:51:25,248 --> 00:51:25,999 Pardon me. Pardon me. 922 00:51:26,124 --> 00:51:27,042 Excuse me. 923 00:51:34,466 --> 00:51:35,008 Pardon me. 924 00:51:35,092 --> 00:51:35,842 Excuse me. 925 00:51:35,926 --> 00:51:37,010 Excuse me. 926 00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:38,678 Get out of the way. Look out. 927 00:51:38,762 --> 00:51:39,596 Look out. 928 00:51:39,679 --> 00:51:40,597 Oh my god. 929 00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:41,431 Look out. 930 00:51:46,061 --> 00:51:48,563 Oh my god. 931 00:51:48,688 --> 00:51:51,191 [screaming] 932 00:52:03,453 --> 00:52:05,038 Get him! Get the clown! 933 00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:06,164 Shut up, weenie! 934 00:52:12,212 --> 00:52:12,921 [screaming] 935 00:52:13,046 --> 00:52:13,922 He's in the alley. 936 00:52:14,047 --> 00:52:14,756 Cut him off! 937 00:52:24,057 --> 00:52:24,891 Whoa! 938 00:52:25,016 --> 00:52:25,892 Get out of the way, honey. 939 00:52:26,017 --> 00:52:26,768 Watch out! 940 00:52:31,189 --> 00:52:32,107 Whoa! 941 00:52:41,700 --> 00:52:42,659 Kids, cheer up. 942 00:52:42,742 --> 00:52:44,244 Coco the Clown will be here any moment. 943 00:52:44,327 --> 00:52:45,871 I paid full price in advance. 944 00:52:45,954 --> 00:52:47,122 I know he's coming, so cheer up. 945 00:52:47,247 --> 00:52:48,874 Come on, kids. 946 00:52:54,379 --> 00:52:56,840 Follow him into the park. 947 00:52:56,923 --> 00:52:58,258 Bring your gun! 948 00:52:58,341 --> 00:52:59,968 You see this cute little thing? 949 00:53:00,093 --> 00:53:00,844 Come on now. 950 00:53:00,927 --> 00:53:02,345 Work. 951 00:53:02,429 --> 00:53:04,848 I paid a lot of money for these noisemakers, you guys. 952 00:53:04,931 --> 00:53:08,727 That stupid clown was supposed to be here a half-hour ago. 953 00:53:08,810 --> 00:53:11,938 I knew I should have used Ms. Priscilla the Magician. 954 00:53:15,025 --> 00:53:15,942 Look, look. 955 00:53:16,026 --> 00:53:17,277 Here he comes. 956 00:53:17,402 --> 00:53:19,487 Well, at least he's hurrying. 957 00:53:19,613 --> 00:53:20,488 Kids, kids. 958 00:53:20,614 --> 00:53:21,489 Smile. 959 00:53:21,615 --> 00:53:22,115 Kids, look. 960 00:53:22,240 --> 00:53:23,158 I hate clowns. 961 00:53:23,283 --> 00:53:24,034 Now it's a party. 962 00:53:24,117 --> 00:53:25,660 Now have some fun. 963 00:53:25,785 --> 00:53:28,663 Nancy Niffisant said that when you first got here, 964 00:53:28,788 --> 00:53:30,665 you would do your act next to the little birthday girl. 965 00:53:30,790 --> 00:53:33,293 And now will you bring out the two-headed poodle now? 966 00:53:33,376 --> 00:53:34,461 I don't want-- 967 00:53:34,544 --> 00:53:36,838 [gunfire] 968 00:53:38,340 --> 00:53:39,466 GRISWOLD: Happy birthday! 969 00:53:47,307 --> 00:53:48,433 Outta my way! 970 00:53:51,311 --> 00:53:52,812 Get outta here. 971 00:53:52,896 --> 00:53:53,813 Get outta here. 972 00:54:12,832 --> 00:54:14,751 [burp] 973 00:54:21,216 --> 00:54:23,134 Awesome party. 974 00:54:23,218 --> 00:54:25,303 Where'd you get all the guns? 975 00:54:32,769 --> 00:54:33,520 Wait a minute. 976 00:54:33,603 --> 00:54:35,063 I don't have my safety belt on. 977 00:54:35,188 --> 00:54:38,024 Come on with that, you weenie. 978 00:54:39,150 --> 00:54:41,027 Stop in the name of the law. 979 00:54:41,152 --> 00:54:43,446 There's a clown on the windshield. 980 00:54:43,530 --> 00:54:45,240 Do something about it! 981 00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:51,621 Get rid of him. 982 00:54:51,705 --> 00:54:53,039 We can't see. 983 00:54:53,123 --> 00:54:54,040 Come on. 984 00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:54,874 Swerve. 985 00:55:30,994 --> 00:55:31,911 Get off! 986 00:55:31,995 --> 00:55:32,912 Get rid of him! 987 00:55:32,996 --> 00:55:33,913 Get off! 988 00:55:37,417 --> 00:55:39,419 Good to see you, Captain Bender. 989 00:55:39,502 --> 00:55:41,254 And I hope they catch the bastard 990 00:55:41,338 --> 00:55:42,505 that stole your three shirts. 991 00:55:42,589 --> 00:55:43,673 Well, that's four shirts. 992 00:55:43,757 --> 00:55:45,342 But don't worry about it, Herb. 993 00:55:45,425 --> 00:55:48,928 I got my best man on it-- Harry Griswold. 994 00:55:49,012 --> 00:55:50,680 Pull it over! 995 00:55:50,764 --> 00:55:52,891 He wants you to pull it over. 996 00:55:52,974 --> 00:55:53,892 So? 997 00:55:53,975 --> 00:55:55,018 Pull it over. 998 00:55:55,101 --> 00:55:55,852 Yeah, I'll take care of the bozo. 999 00:55:59,314 --> 00:56:00,231 He's still there. 1000 00:56:00,315 --> 00:56:01,775 Do something! 1001 00:56:01,900 --> 00:56:04,194 Oh no! 1002 00:56:04,277 --> 00:56:06,571 He's using Silly String. 1003 00:56:06,654 --> 00:56:08,782 Now we really can't see! 1004 00:56:08,865 --> 00:56:10,325 [scream] 1005 00:56:11,659 --> 00:56:12,911 Once again, thank you very much. 1006 00:56:12,994 --> 00:56:13,745 Thank you. 1007 00:56:13,828 --> 00:56:14,371 Thank you. 1008 00:56:14,454 --> 00:56:15,747 Get him off! 1009 00:56:15,830 --> 00:56:16,748 Move! 1010 00:56:16,831 --> 00:56:17,374 Get him! 1011 00:56:17,457 --> 00:56:18,708 I can't see! 1012 00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:22,128 Take care. 1013 00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:24,130 Have a good day. 1014 00:56:24,214 --> 00:56:26,091 [honking] 1015 00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:37,644 Look what you made me do, you weenie! 1016 00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:43,817 What did you do to the car, you weenie? 1017 00:56:43,942 --> 00:56:44,484 You're the driver. 1018 00:56:44,567 --> 00:56:45,318 [police siren] 1019 00:56:45,443 --> 00:56:46,403 Cops. 1020 00:56:46,486 --> 00:56:47,779 Let's get outta here. 1021 00:56:47,862 --> 00:56:52,325 Good thing I had my safety belt on. 1022 00:56:52,409 --> 00:56:54,327 Oh. 1023 00:56:54,411 --> 00:56:55,870 Oh, my head. 1024 00:56:55,995 --> 00:56:57,247 Oh god. 1025 00:56:57,330 --> 00:57:00,834 Why did they-- what the hell? 1026 00:57:00,917 --> 00:57:01,626 Oh god. 1027 00:57:01,709 --> 00:57:04,170 What did they do to me? 1028 00:57:04,295 --> 00:57:05,505 What did they do? 1029 00:57:05,630 --> 00:57:08,842 Uh, Mr. Goldberg, Detective Harry Griswold. 1030 00:57:08,925 --> 00:57:10,343 I need to ask you a few questions 1031 00:57:10,468 --> 00:57:12,053 about the shirt robbery. 1032 00:57:12,178 --> 00:57:15,557 [rambling] 1033 00:57:16,891 --> 00:57:19,310 Now were the shirts in boxers, or on hangers, or-- 1034 00:57:19,394 --> 00:57:21,521 Freeze! 1035 00:57:21,604 --> 00:57:22,897 Don't shoot. Don't shoot. 1036 00:57:23,022 --> 00:57:23,648 It's me. 1037 00:57:23,731 --> 00:57:24,983 It's me, Harry Griswold. 1038 00:57:25,066 --> 00:57:26,151 Ha, Harry Griswold. 1039 00:57:26,234 --> 00:57:28,736 I know Harry-- holy shit. 1040 00:57:28,862 --> 00:57:29,904 It is Griswold. 1041 00:57:30,029 --> 00:57:32,532 Griswold, what the hell are you doing here? 1042 00:57:32,615 --> 00:57:33,700 What did you do? 1043 00:57:40,540 --> 00:57:41,583 GRISWOLD: I'm-- I'm innocent. 1044 00:57:41,708 --> 00:57:42,542 OFFICER: Get in the car, you clown. 1045 00:57:42,667 --> 00:57:43,042 GRISWOLD: I didn't do it! 1046 00:57:46,087 --> 00:57:46,880 Nice dissolve, huh? 1047 00:57:50,341 --> 00:57:51,801 BENDER: Harry, you're suspended. 1048 00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:52,969 Suspended? 1049 00:57:53,052 --> 00:57:53,720 Look, Harry. 1050 00:57:53,845 --> 00:57:55,221 Look, I tried to warn you. 1051 00:57:55,305 --> 00:57:57,223 [squeaky horn] 1052 00:57:59,058 --> 00:58:02,979 But this clown thing is the last straw. 1053 00:58:03,062 --> 00:58:06,566 I got Snipes pressing charges against you. 1054 00:58:06,649 --> 00:58:08,735 Damn matches. 1055 00:58:08,818 --> 00:58:09,611 Thank you. 1056 00:58:21,247 --> 00:58:25,210 L-- let me help you, Captain. 1057 00:58:25,293 --> 00:58:31,424 Not to mention, a kid who tells me that you stole his tricycle? 1058 00:58:31,508 --> 00:58:33,927 Reginald Stuart is bent out of shape? 1059 00:58:34,052 --> 00:58:36,429 The newspapers are using you to make a laughingstock 1060 00:58:36,554 --> 00:58:37,597 of the entire force. 1061 00:58:37,722 --> 00:58:41,017 [echoing laughter] 1062 00:58:42,810 --> 00:58:44,145 Turn that damn thing off. 1063 00:58:47,273 --> 00:58:48,399 But Snipes-- 1064 00:58:48,483 --> 00:58:53,905 Forget a-- Harry, forget about Snipes. 1065 00:58:53,988 --> 00:58:55,949 Look. 1066 00:58:56,032 --> 00:58:59,202 You know if it was up to me, I'd give you another chance. 1067 00:58:59,285 --> 00:59:00,620 I'd give you another shot. 1068 00:59:00,745 --> 00:59:02,664 But the word's coming down from the top this time 1069 00:59:02,789 --> 00:59:08,461 and-- give me your gun, and give me your shield. 1070 00:59:08,586 --> 00:59:10,797 Give this thing a chance to cool down, OK? 1071 00:59:21,015 --> 00:59:22,308 I'm sorry, Harry. 1072 00:59:27,689 --> 00:59:28,773 GRISWOLD (VOICEOVER): OK. 1073 00:59:28,856 --> 00:59:30,650 So things had gotten out of hand. 1074 00:59:30,775 --> 00:59:33,903 There was only one thing left to do-- go see Lotus. 1075 00:59:33,987 --> 00:59:37,991 I figured maybe she could turn things around for me. 1076 00:59:38,116 --> 00:59:40,994 [doorbell] 1077 00:59:49,377 --> 00:59:51,004 I didn't know she had a butler. 1078 00:59:55,592 --> 00:59:57,302 Excusez-moi. 1079 00:59:59,178 --> 00:59:59,929 Howdy. 1080 01:00:11,316 --> 01:00:12,734 How you doing? 1081 01:00:16,446 --> 01:00:18,531 Listen. 1082 01:00:18,656 --> 01:00:22,535 I'm sorry about my behavior before. 1083 01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:24,120 You're right. 1084 01:00:24,203 --> 01:00:27,415 I do need to learn how to control whatever this thing 1085 01:00:27,540 --> 01:00:30,335 that's happening to me is. 1086 01:00:30,418 --> 01:00:31,544 Oh. 1087 01:00:31,669 --> 01:00:33,546 Look. 1088 01:00:33,671 --> 01:00:35,548 All gone. 1089 01:00:35,632 --> 01:00:37,550 Yummy worms. 1090 01:00:37,634 --> 01:00:39,594 Tasted just like chicken. 1091 01:00:39,719 --> 01:00:43,222 So what's with the monkey? 1092 01:00:43,306 --> 01:00:45,558 His name is Toyota. 1093 01:00:45,683 --> 01:00:46,976 Toyota? 1094 01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:50,271 LOTUS: He was born in the backseat of a 2000GT. 1095 01:00:50,396 --> 01:00:52,732 I like a dog-face monkey that has an appreciation 1096 01:00:52,815 --> 01:00:55,943 for expensive sports cars. 1097 01:00:56,069 --> 01:00:58,321 Please remove your shoes, and Toyota will 1098 01:00:58,404 --> 01:01:00,990 bring you a change of clothing. 1099 01:01:01,074 --> 01:01:01,616 Clothing. 1100 01:01:01,741 --> 01:01:02,700 What size? 1101 01:01:07,372 --> 01:01:09,248 Please join me in meditation. 1102 01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:13,586 Oh. 1103 01:01:13,670 --> 01:01:14,545 Well, all right. 1104 01:01:14,629 --> 01:01:15,505 All right. 1105 01:01:15,588 --> 01:01:16,339 OK. 1106 01:01:22,428 --> 01:01:24,180 This is kind of a rush. 1107 01:01:24,263 --> 01:01:27,266 Please close your eyes and concentrate, Detective. 1108 01:01:27,392 --> 01:01:28,101 Om. 1109 01:01:31,396 --> 01:01:34,774 (SINGING) She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes. 1110 01:01:34,857 --> 01:01:36,150 When she comes. 1111 01:01:36,275 --> 01:01:39,779 She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes. 1112 01:01:39,862 --> 01:01:44,242 She'll be coming round the mountain when-- oh. 1113 01:01:44,325 --> 01:01:45,660 A little foot massage. 1114 01:01:45,785 --> 01:01:47,829 Very nice. 1115 01:01:47,954 --> 01:01:50,206 You know, your hands feel a little rough, sort 1116 01:01:50,289 --> 01:01:51,624 of like rope. 1117 01:01:51,708 --> 01:01:52,500 Hey. 1118 01:01:52,625 --> 01:01:53,710 Hey, what are you doing? 1119 01:01:53,793 --> 01:01:54,877 Hey! Let me down! 1120 01:01:54,961 --> 01:01:56,254 It is important that we establish 1121 01:01:56,337 --> 01:01:59,507 an effective teacher-pupil relationship. 1122 01:01:59,632 --> 01:02:00,967 If we had more time, we could build 1123 01:02:01,092 --> 01:02:03,261 the foundations of the relationship 1124 01:02:03,344 --> 01:02:05,805 on mutual respect and trust. 1125 01:02:05,930 --> 01:02:09,434 As it is, it will be easier to work with fear and pain. 1126 01:02:12,854 --> 01:02:15,648 [screaming] 1127 01:02:15,732 --> 01:02:17,817 What the hell did you do that for? 1128 01:02:17,900 --> 01:02:18,860 To get your attention. 1129 01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:23,990 Your first lesson will develop your patience, 1130 01:02:24,073 --> 01:02:26,534 concentration, and endurance. 1131 01:02:32,331 --> 01:02:34,375 Now I want you to separate the rice into 1132 01:02:34,500 --> 01:02:36,419 brown, white, and yellow piles. 1133 01:02:36,502 --> 01:02:38,337 And then count every grain. 1134 01:02:38,421 --> 01:02:39,505 Are you outta your mind? 1135 01:02:39,630 --> 01:02:41,758 Cut me down from here right now. 1136 01:02:45,261 --> 01:02:48,598 Please begin to separate and count the rice, Detective. 1137 01:02:48,681 --> 01:02:52,643 The bamboo can withstand more blows than your nether regions. 1138 01:02:52,727 --> 01:02:54,020 All right. All right. 1139 01:02:54,145 --> 01:02:54,771 OK. 1140 01:02:54,854 --> 01:02:56,689 All right. 1141 01:02:56,773 --> 01:02:59,400 1 white grain. 1142 01:02:59,525 --> 01:03:02,320 1 yellow grain. 1143 01:03:02,403 --> 01:03:04,280 1 brown grain. 1144 01:03:04,363 --> 01:03:07,033 2 white grains. 1145 01:03:07,116 --> 01:03:11,037 3,182 grains of yellow rice. 1146 01:03:11,120 --> 01:03:20,421 And, uh-- 1,800 and-- 46 grains of brown rice. 1147 01:03:20,546 --> 01:03:21,506 Very good. 1148 01:03:21,589 --> 01:03:23,883 That only took you five hours. 1149 01:03:24,008 --> 01:03:26,552 Concentration and focus are the key to harnessing 1150 01:03:26,677 --> 01:03:29,096 your Kabukiman powers. 1151 01:03:29,222 --> 01:03:31,766 Now let's see if you can do it in three hours. 1152 01:03:39,148 --> 01:03:39,440 Look. 1153 01:03:39,565 --> 01:03:42,652 I told you I am aching all over. 1154 01:03:42,860 --> 01:03:44,487 I got a headache this big. 1155 01:03:44,487 --> 01:03:45,905 I can't imagine why. 1156 01:03:45,988 --> 01:03:48,866 My nether regions are somewhere in South Jersey. 1157 01:03:48,950 --> 01:03:52,245 And on top of that, you've ruined my appetite for rice. 1158 01:03:52,328 --> 01:03:53,204 I'm going home. 1159 01:03:53,287 --> 01:03:55,248 But we must complete your training. 1160 01:03:55,331 --> 01:03:56,999 Lady, off of me, OK? 1161 01:03:57,083 --> 01:04:00,753 Look, you're not thrilled about me being your Kabuki whatever. 1162 01:04:00,878 --> 01:04:04,090 Well, I'm not that thrilled about it myself. 1163 01:04:04,173 --> 01:04:05,675 I'm afraid you don't understand. 1164 01:04:05,758 --> 01:04:09,929 The Evil One will soon know who you are if he does not already. 1165 01:04:10,054 --> 01:04:11,639 If you not prepared by the time the dragon dances 1166 01:04:11,764 --> 01:04:12,598 through the hoop of Jupiter-- 1167 01:04:12,723 --> 01:04:13,766 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1168 01:04:13,891 --> 01:04:15,434 And the monkeys and the jaguars will 1169 01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:17,645 jump rope and go to brunch. 1170 01:04:17,770 --> 01:04:19,522 Could you just once say something 1171 01:04:19,605 --> 01:04:22,942 that doesn't sound like you just flew in from Pluto? 1172 01:04:23,067 --> 01:04:24,819 Clearly, you have no comprehension 1173 01:04:24,944 --> 01:04:26,445 of the scope of your mission. 1174 01:04:26,529 --> 01:04:28,030 The Evil One never sleeps. 1175 01:04:28,114 --> 01:04:31,075 You must be ready for an attack at any time. 1176 01:04:31,158 --> 01:04:33,202 Oh, I'm ready to attack. 1177 01:04:33,286 --> 01:04:35,121 My pillow. 1178 01:04:35,204 --> 01:04:35,746 Domo. 1179 01:04:35,830 --> 01:04:37,957 Sayonara. 1180 01:04:38,082 --> 01:04:41,335 I have tried in vain to reason with you Japanese style. 1181 01:04:41,460 --> 01:04:44,130 Now I must resort to American style. 1182 01:04:47,967 --> 01:04:50,469 I'm warning-- I'm warning you. 1183 01:04:50,553 --> 01:04:54,432 I don't want to have to hit you. 1184 01:04:54,515 --> 01:04:55,433 That's it. 1185 01:04:58,895 --> 01:04:59,812 I'm sorry. 1186 01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:00,646 I-- 1187 01:05:17,788 --> 01:05:22,168 A way to a man's brain is through his nether regions. 1188 01:05:22,293 --> 01:05:22,752 You win. 1189 01:05:27,173 --> 01:05:29,884 I don't get my jollies beating up women, you know. 1190 01:05:34,555 --> 01:05:35,556 All right. 1191 01:05:35,681 --> 01:05:37,934 I'll do what you want. 1192 01:05:38,017 --> 01:05:38,893 Very well. 1193 01:05:39,018 --> 01:05:42,396 Kabuki tradition. 1194 01:05:43,564 --> 01:05:46,442 American tradition. 1195 01:05:46,525 --> 01:05:50,196 One for good luck. 1196 01:05:50,321 --> 01:05:52,782 Our revels now are ended. 1197 01:05:52,865 --> 01:05:56,702 The time is almost upon us. 1198 01:05:56,786 --> 01:05:59,914 Soon, there will be no stopping us. 1199 01:06:00,039 --> 01:06:03,376 But in the meantime, we must be very, very careful. 1200 01:06:03,501 --> 01:06:04,794 The first thing we must do is to move 1201 01:06:04,877 --> 01:06:06,712 everything out of the church. 1202 01:06:06,796 --> 01:06:09,924 Now I know this cop, Griswold, has been suspended. 1203 01:06:10,049 --> 01:06:13,970 But I've dealt with his type many, many times before. 1204 01:06:14,053 --> 01:06:17,139 He will never, never leave us alone. 1205 01:06:17,223 --> 01:06:19,392 Griswold must be eliminated. 1206 01:06:19,517 --> 01:06:23,145 Everyone associated with Griswold must be eliminated. 1207 01:06:23,229 --> 01:06:27,483 Then and only then will everything be in order. 1208 01:06:27,566 --> 01:06:32,405 Only then will we emerge triumphant. 1209 01:06:35,866 --> 01:06:37,284 LOTUS: Kabukiman's spiritual powers 1210 01:06:37,410 --> 01:06:39,036 come from mastering the haiku. 1211 01:06:39,120 --> 01:06:40,496 GRISWOLD: What's that? Karate? 1212 01:06:40,579 --> 01:06:41,747 No. 1213 01:06:41,831 --> 01:06:45,126 It's a classical form of Japanese poetry, you turkey. 1214 01:06:45,251 --> 01:06:47,628 Please, read the haiku on the first page. 1215 01:06:52,258 --> 01:06:53,634 "Cherry tree on hill. 1216 01:06:53,759 --> 01:06:55,219 Wind singing to the blossoms. 1217 01:06:55,302 --> 01:06:57,304 My soul is called home." 1218 01:06:57,430 --> 01:06:59,223 You will achieve harmony of the body 1219 01:06:59,306 --> 01:07:04,186 and mind by mastering this simply yet perfect form. 1220 01:07:04,562 --> 01:07:06,897 You know, I couldn't help but notice when we were beating 1221 01:07:06,981 --> 01:07:09,316 the crap out of each other that, uh, 1222 01:07:09,442 --> 01:07:15,114 you have a simple yet perfect from yourself. 1223 01:07:15,239 --> 01:07:18,034 Please, we do not have time for flirtation. 1224 01:07:18,117 --> 01:07:20,536 The haiku, Harry. 1225 01:07:20,619 --> 01:07:22,496 You called me Harry. 1226 01:07:22,621 --> 01:07:24,415 Please, the haiku. 1227 01:07:24,498 --> 01:07:25,291 Concentrate. 1228 01:07:30,629 --> 01:07:32,798 "Cherry tree on hill. 1229 01:07:32,923 --> 01:07:34,925 Wind singing to the blossoms. 1230 01:07:35,009 --> 01:07:39,764 My soul is called home." "Cherry tree on hill. 1231 01:07:39,847 --> 01:07:41,640 Wind singing to the blossoms. 1232 01:07:41,766 --> 01:07:47,897 My soul is called home." "Cherry tree on hill. 1233 01:07:47,980 --> 01:07:49,690 Wind singing to the blossoms. 1234 01:07:49,815 --> 01:07:54,820 My soul is called home." "Cherry tree on hill. 1235 01:07:54,945 --> 01:07:57,198 Wind singing to the blossoms. 1236 01:07:57,323 --> 01:08:02,161 My soul is called home." "Cherry tree on hill. 1237 01:08:02,286 --> 01:08:03,746 Wind singing to the blossoms. 1238 01:08:03,829 --> 01:08:07,708 My soul is called home." 1239 01:08:07,833 --> 01:08:09,126 Here you go, buddy. 1240 01:08:09,210 --> 01:08:11,504 Get yourself a cup of coffee. 1241 01:08:11,587 --> 01:08:13,714 Well done. 1242 01:08:13,839 --> 01:08:17,468 Now you must learn to understand and control your powers. 1243 01:08:19,136 --> 01:08:19,929 Look around you. 1244 01:08:20,012 --> 01:08:21,263 What do you see? 1245 01:08:21,347 --> 01:08:24,725 I see-- I see crime. 1246 01:08:24,850 --> 01:08:28,187 I see poverty. 1247 01:08:28,270 --> 01:08:29,897 I see evil everywhere. 1248 01:08:30,022 --> 01:08:35,528 I see a power elite of corporate money mongers controlling 1249 01:08:35,611 --> 01:08:38,364 our brains and our destinies while they 1250 01:08:38,447 --> 01:08:41,575 dismantled the sacred foundations 1251 01:08:41,700 --> 01:08:42,827 of the Bill of Rights. 1252 01:08:42,910 --> 01:08:48,624 (SINGING) Oh say can you see. 1253 01:08:48,707 --> 01:08:50,960 I see we have work to do. 1254 01:08:51,043 --> 01:08:51,794 Come on! 1255 01:08:54,171 --> 01:08:55,089 Whoa! 1256 01:08:58,050 --> 01:09:03,973 My pursuit of truth, justice, and the Kabuki way had begun. 1257 01:09:04,056 --> 01:09:07,143 [music playing] 1258 01:09:23,159 --> 01:09:25,035 Tell all your congressmen friends 1259 01:09:25,119 --> 01:09:26,245 that if they meddle with the National 1260 01:09:26,370 --> 01:09:27,913 Endowment for the Arts, they'll have 1261 01:09:27,997 --> 01:09:29,748 me, Kabukiman, to deal with. 1262 01:09:49,476 --> 01:09:51,478 So you pimps and hookers want to roll in the hay? 1263 01:09:51,687 --> 01:09:53,606 Well, how about a sushi roll? 1264 01:10:30,643 --> 01:10:31,936 Oh my god. 1265 01:10:32,019 --> 01:10:33,437 It is simply gorgeous. It's lovely. 1266 01:10:33,520 --> 01:10:34,521 I can't get enough of it. 1267 01:10:34,647 --> 01:10:35,522 Don't touch it. 1268 01:11:12,977 --> 01:11:14,561 Come on. 1269 01:11:14,687 --> 01:11:15,896 Get moving. 1270 01:11:16,021 --> 01:11:18,816 The boss wants his stuff moved to the Stuart Pandex docks 1271 01:11:18,899 --> 01:11:20,150 to Tromaville. 1272 01:11:20,234 --> 01:11:22,278 You got the lion's cage? 1273 01:11:22,361 --> 01:11:24,530 Bananas for the monkey? 1274 01:11:24,655 --> 01:11:26,073 After a morning of crime-fighting, 1275 01:11:26,198 --> 01:11:29,201 I like to come home to a nice lunch of fresh sea urchin. 1276 01:11:29,285 --> 01:11:31,787 You know. 1277 01:11:31,870 --> 01:11:32,913 Please excuse the mess. 1278 01:11:33,038 --> 01:11:36,041 It looks like a bomb hit it. 1279 01:11:36,166 --> 01:11:38,961 [ticking] 1280 01:11:41,005 --> 01:11:42,131 Lotus! 1281 01:11:42,214 --> 01:11:43,799 Lotus, are you all right? 1282 01:11:48,721 --> 01:11:49,805 That's it. 1283 01:11:49,888 --> 01:11:53,142 First LaRosa, now you almost got killed. 1284 01:11:53,225 --> 01:11:55,561 You may think I'm a champion of good for the whole universe, 1285 01:11:55,644 --> 01:11:57,563 but this is something that I have to take 1286 01:11:57,688 --> 01:12:00,941 care of for me, Harry Griswold. 1287 01:12:17,207 --> 01:12:18,667 LOTUS: Harry, watch out! 1288 01:12:26,759 --> 01:12:28,969 CROWD: Oh no! 1289 01:13:01,627 --> 01:13:02,753 Thanks. 1290 01:13:02,836 --> 01:13:04,338 I'll be around if you need me in there. 1291 01:13:04,463 --> 01:13:05,339 Thank you. Thank you. 1292 01:13:05,464 --> 01:13:06,382 Thank you. 1293 01:13:09,009 --> 01:13:11,303 You're such a weenie. 1294 01:13:11,387 --> 01:13:14,431 Can't you be around me without touching me? 1295 01:13:20,562 --> 01:13:23,232 Hello, you weenie. 1296 01:13:23,315 --> 01:13:25,609 I said stop touching-- 1297 01:13:25,692 --> 01:13:29,154 That's the crazy police dude with chopsticks. 1298 01:13:29,279 --> 01:13:30,155 No! 1299 01:13:30,280 --> 01:13:31,156 No! 1300 01:13:31,281 --> 01:13:34,159 No! 1301 01:13:34,243 --> 01:13:37,037 Where is Snipes? 1302 01:13:37,162 --> 01:13:38,580 Who are you? 1303 01:13:41,500 --> 01:13:43,335 I'm Kabukiman. 1304 01:13:52,344 --> 01:13:55,180 [beeping] 1305 01:13:55,264 --> 01:13:56,181 It's Jughead. 1306 01:13:56,265 --> 01:13:57,433 He's in trouble. 1307 01:13:57,516 --> 01:13:58,767 Now what has that weenie got himself into? 1308 01:13:58,851 --> 01:13:59,893 Watch the truck. 1309 01:14:00,018 --> 01:14:00,936 You guys come with me. 1310 01:14:06,191 --> 01:14:06,984 Smile. 1311 01:14:07,067 --> 01:14:09,903 You're on Kabuki Camera. 1312 01:14:15,534 --> 01:14:17,035 JUGHEAD: Oh no! 1313 01:14:17,119 --> 01:14:19,621 I guess I am a weenie after all. 1314 01:14:27,045 --> 01:14:29,131 It's over, Kabukiman. 1315 01:14:29,214 --> 01:14:31,758 I'm sure your fans will be a little disappointed. 1316 01:14:47,399 --> 01:14:48,150 Come on. 1317 01:14:48,233 --> 01:14:48,984 Get him! 1318 01:14:52,237 --> 01:14:54,156 Move it! 1319 01:14:54,239 --> 01:14:55,157 Get outta my way! 1320 01:15:01,246 --> 01:15:04,124 What the? 1321 01:15:04,249 --> 01:15:05,542 It's cocktail hour. 1322 01:15:05,626 --> 01:15:07,127 I hope you like Molotov. 1323 01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:14,718 Get him! 1324 01:15:33,612 --> 01:15:38,534 The score is 2-zip, but you're mine now. 1325 01:15:45,582 --> 01:15:46,625 Jump. 1326 01:15:46,750 --> 01:15:47,834 -Jump? -Jump. 1327 01:15:47,960 --> 01:15:48,460 Hold my hand. 1328 01:15:48,585 --> 01:15:49,461 Jump. 1329 01:15:49,586 --> 01:15:50,295 What are you? 1330 01:15:50,420 --> 01:15:52,047 Nuts? 1331 01:15:52,130 --> 01:15:53,465 What are you afraid of? 1332 01:15:53,549 --> 01:15:54,591 Breaking my neck. 1333 01:15:54,675 --> 01:15:56,134 Don't be such a sissy. 1334 01:15:56,260 --> 01:15:57,302 I'm not a sissy. 1335 01:15:57,427 --> 01:15:58,804 I'm scared of heights, all right? 1336 01:15:58,887 --> 01:16:01,515 Look, Kabukiman has the power to fly, 1337 01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:04,017 but a grenade in the stomach? 1338 01:16:04,142 --> 01:16:06,895 I'm not so sure. 1339 01:16:06,979 --> 01:16:09,648 I don't believe I'm doing this. 1340 01:16:15,279 --> 01:16:15,988 Woo! 1341 01:16:16,113 --> 01:16:17,990 Oh yeah. 1342 01:16:18,073 --> 01:16:18,991 All right! 1343 01:16:19,074 --> 01:16:19,992 Miller Time! 1344 01:16:32,254 --> 01:16:33,630 Fly slowly. 1345 01:16:33,714 --> 01:16:36,091 You do not have your superhero learner's permit yet. 1346 01:16:49,771 --> 01:16:52,608 We got winds coming in from the north. 1347 01:16:52,691 --> 01:16:54,151 Barometric pressure rising. 1348 01:16:54,234 --> 01:16:56,111 Oh, foggy conditions ahead. 1349 01:17:00,532 --> 01:17:03,160 So Counselor, by cutting a deal with you, 1350 01:17:03,243 --> 01:17:07,039 my sleazy client, who we both know is guilty, 1351 01:17:07,164 --> 01:17:10,709 walks away scot-free, probably to kill again 1352 01:17:10,834 --> 01:17:12,794 but not in our neighborhood. 1353 01:17:16,381 --> 01:17:19,384 I don't feel very good. 1354 01:17:19,468 --> 01:17:21,386 What's wrong? 1355 01:17:21,470 --> 01:17:23,764 I've never flown before. 1356 01:17:23,889 --> 01:17:25,307 I usually take the train. 1357 01:17:25,390 --> 01:17:29,728 Once again, we both profit at society's expense. 1358 01:17:29,811 --> 01:17:33,190 You're not going to be ill, are you? 1359 01:17:33,273 --> 01:17:34,191 No, no. 1360 01:17:34,274 --> 01:17:35,150 No, no. 1361 01:17:39,571 --> 01:17:41,615 [retching] 1362 01:17:47,245 --> 01:17:51,583 Well, Counselor, I guess lunch at the Bar Association is off. 1363 01:17:57,172 --> 01:18:00,592 I guess I had a little too much sea urchin for lunch. 1364 01:18:00,717 --> 01:18:03,178 Since my flight prematurely departed, 1365 01:18:03,261 --> 01:18:05,764 I thought I'd drop Lotus off and head back to the church 1366 01:18:05,847 --> 01:18:08,892 to pick up another passenger. 1367 01:18:08,975 --> 01:18:10,686 I gotta pick up my airplane ticket. 1368 01:18:10,769 --> 01:18:12,771 I got my passport. 1369 01:18:12,896 --> 01:18:15,524 And I'm getting the hell outta here. 1370 01:18:15,607 --> 01:18:16,983 Going somewhere, Reverend? 1371 01:18:21,446 --> 01:18:25,325 [screaming] 1372 01:18:27,411 --> 01:18:28,286 Let me go! 1373 01:18:28,412 --> 01:18:30,288 Let me go! 1374 01:18:30,414 --> 01:18:31,456 Please let me go! 1375 01:18:31,581 --> 01:18:34,292 I'll do anything you want, anything. 1376 01:18:34,376 --> 01:18:35,293 What's the matter with you? 1377 01:18:35,377 --> 01:18:37,629 Are you crazy? 1378 01:18:37,754 --> 01:18:38,630 Help me! 1379 01:18:38,755 --> 01:18:39,631 He's crazy! 1380 01:18:39,756 --> 01:18:41,633 Oh, Jesus! 1381 01:18:41,717 --> 01:18:42,801 Oh, Jesus! 1382 01:18:46,680 --> 01:18:48,181 I don't know anything! 1383 01:18:48,306 --> 01:18:49,599 Oh yeah? 1384 01:18:49,683 --> 01:18:51,685 See that over there? 1385 01:18:51,810 --> 01:18:54,229 It's the beautiful Empire State Building. 1386 01:18:54,312 --> 01:18:56,982 And if I was to drop you over that point just right, 1387 01:18:57,107 --> 01:19:00,318 you would get a crash course in proctology. 1388 01:19:00,402 --> 01:19:03,321 You don't start talking, I'm gonna make yakitori out of you. 1389 01:19:03,447 --> 01:19:06,324 Get my point, Snipes? 1390 01:19:06,408 --> 01:19:08,285 Whoa! 1391 01:19:08,368 --> 01:19:10,203 Oh! 1392 01:19:10,328 --> 01:19:11,204 Yo! 1393 01:19:11,329 --> 01:19:12,164 Yo! 1394 01:19:12,289 --> 01:19:13,165 All right! 1395 01:19:13,290 --> 01:19:14,166 All right! 1396 01:19:14,249 --> 01:19:16,126 I'll talk. 1397 01:19:16,209 --> 01:19:16,918 Reginald Stuart. 1398 01:19:17,002 --> 01:19:18,336 He's the one you want. 1399 01:19:18,420 --> 01:19:20,672 He's the one who got that lady cop killed, not me. 1400 01:19:20,797 --> 01:19:23,467 It was Reginald Stuart. 1401 01:19:23,550 --> 01:19:24,843 Snipes confessed everything. 1402 01:19:24,968 --> 01:19:26,511 I wish you could have seen the look on his face 1403 01:19:26,636 --> 01:19:30,265 when I had him hanging over the Empire State Building. 1404 01:19:31,975 --> 01:19:36,563 Anyway, I've got it all here on tape. 1405 01:19:36,688 --> 01:19:40,358 There's enough here to put him and Stuart away for life. 1406 01:19:40,442 --> 01:19:42,027 That's wonderful. 1407 01:19:42,152 --> 01:19:45,197 You've done so well in such a short time. 1408 01:19:45,322 --> 01:19:47,699 The Evil One must be fearful of you. 1409 01:19:47,824 --> 01:19:49,868 It's only because of you. 1410 01:19:49,993 --> 01:19:52,204 Without you around, my powers are useless. 1411 01:19:52,287 --> 01:20:01,338 You are the champion, Harry, not I. To you and Kabukiman. 1412 01:21:15,954 --> 01:21:18,456 [moaning] 1413 01:22:01,958 --> 01:22:05,587 Kabukiman sanjo! 1414 01:22:08,340 --> 01:22:09,049 I'll be back. 1415 01:22:14,804 --> 01:22:16,514 I'm taking this to the cops. 1416 01:22:19,351 --> 01:22:20,060 Whoa! 1417 01:22:26,232 --> 01:22:27,525 JINGLE (ON RADIO): Z Morning Zoo 1418 01:22:27,651 --> 01:22:29,069 ROSS (ON RADIO): It's Ross Briton and the zoo crew. 1419 01:22:29,194 --> 01:22:30,654 Coach Mike, you got a special astronomy alert? 1420 01:22:30,737 --> 01:22:32,364 MIKE (ON RADIO): Yeah, good news for all the skywatchers. 1421 01:22:32,489 --> 01:22:34,991 Tonight, there will be a very rare celestial occurrence. 1422 01:22:35,075 --> 01:22:37,535 The Dragonis Pupis will be visible for the first time 1423 01:22:37,619 --> 01:22:39,329 in a thousands years. ROSS (ON RADIO): Dragonis-- 1424 01:22:39,412 --> 01:22:40,372 Hey, Mario. 1425 01:22:40,455 --> 01:22:41,831 Turn that radio off and get your gun. 1426 01:22:41,915 --> 01:22:43,500 The boss is coming. 1427 01:22:46,753 --> 01:22:49,214 [growling] 1428 01:22:56,137 --> 01:22:58,056 Mr. Stuart, we're all ready. 1429 01:22:58,181 --> 01:23:01,226 We got the tiger and we haven't fed him, just like you said. 1430 01:23:01,351 --> 01:23:02,978 We're taking him out for exercises 1431 01:23:03,061 --> 01:23:04,854 to make him even hungrier. 1432 01:23:04,938 --> 01:23:05,730 Good. 1433 01:23:05,855 --> 01:23:07,315 He's good and hungry. 1434 01:23:07,399 --> 01:23:09,609 And what have we in this cage? 1435 01:23:09,734 --> 01:23:12,487 Now, this is the jaguar, and he's been trying to have 1436 01:23:12,570 --> 01:23:13,738 a monkey ride on his back. 1437 01:23:13,863 --> 01:23:15,365 OK. 1438 01:23:15,448 --> 01:23:17,575 Well, now as for the monkey, we tried to get a regular monkey, 1439 01:23:17,701 --> 01:23:19,953 but this lemur is the only kind of monkey 1440 01:23:20,078 --> 01:23:22,080 that can ride side saddle. 1441 01:23:22,163 --> 01:23:24,249 STUART: OK, a lemur is in the monkey family. 1442 01:23:24,332 --> 01:23:27,919 And soon, the Dragon will dance through the hoop of Jupiter. 1443 01:23:44,102 --> 01:23:45,145 I thought I left that open. 1444 01:23:53,445 --> 01:23:56,364 Honey, I'm home. 1445 01:23:56,448 --> 01:23:57,323 Hi, honey. 1446 01:23:57,449 --> 01:23:59,659 I missed you. 1447 01:24:06,541 --> 01:24:07,292 My hair! 1448 01:24:11,880 --> 01:24:13,089 What have you done with Lotus? 1449 01:24:15,133 --> 01:24:19,471 By now, your nubile little friend is being 1450 01:24:19,512 --> 01:24:23,141 seasoned for the tiger's feast. 1451 01:24:39,199 --> 01:24:43,620 You're weakened without her, Kabuki Pig. 1452 01:24:53,088 --> 01:24:54,756 Faggot superhero! 1453 01:24:54,839 --> 01:24:57,467 [laughter] 1454 01:24:57,550 --> 01:25:01,012 Your powers are useless without a woman's love. 1455 01:25:01,137 --> 01:25:02,305 All you need is love? 1456 01:25:09,270 --> 01:25:12,524 What are you gonna do now, Detective Griswold? 1457 01:25:15,819 --> 01:25:18,363 What any good cop would do. 1458 01:25:23,034 --> 01:25:28,123 You're not gonna shoot me, are you? 1459 01:25:28,206 --> 01:25:29,165 You're under arrest. 1460 01:25:31,543 --> 01:25:34,337 You have the right to remain silent. 1461 01:25:36,756 --> 01:25:38,007 [gunshot] 1462 01:25:38,091 --> 01:25:41,052 Anything you say can and will be used against you 1463 01:25:41,136 --> 01:25:42,220 in the court of law. 1464 01:25:42,345 --> 01:25:44,305 You have the right to an attorney. 1465 01:25:48,059 --> 01:25:49,561 [coughing] 1466 01:25:52,063 --> 01:25:52,939 Or an undertaker. 1467 01:25:56,609 --> 01:25:58,236 Oh, Lotus. 1468 01:26:00,405 --> 01:26:01,781 I can't seem to do it without her. 1469 01:26:24,637 --> 01:26:27,891 [scream] 1470 01:26:27,974 --> 01:26:29,184 Lotus. 1471 01:26:29,267 --> 01:26:30,018 It's OK, pal. 1472 01:26:30,101 --> 01:26:30,894 We'll find her. 1473 01:26:30,977 --> 01:26:31,769 Lotus. 1474 01:26:31,853 --> 01:26:32,604 You got a suggestion? 1475 01:26:35,481 --> 01:26:37,859 What are-- what do you got there? 1476 01:26:41,738 --> 01:26:43,865 Well-- Come on. 1477 01:26:51,080 --> 01:26:52,540 Let's go. 1478 01:26:52,624 --> 01:26:53,666 Take me to her. 1479 01:26:53,791 --> 01:26:54,542 Come on. 1480 01:26:58,004 --> 01:26:59,756 You sure she's in here? 1481 01:26:59,839 --> 01:27:01,841 You better not be sending me on a wild goose chase. 1482 01:27:01,966 --> 01:27:05,345 This better not be a banana factory, or you're dog meat. 1483 01:27:07,388 --> 01:27:09,974 Walking around with a monkey on my back. 1484 01:27:10,058 --> 01:27:12,644 I don't believe this. 1485 01:27:12,727 --> 01:27:13,311 All right. 1486 01:27:13,394 --> 01:27:14,312 We're going in here. 1487 01:27:20,818 --> 01:27:21,819 Car coming. 1488 01:27:21,945 --> 01:27:23,071 Car coming. Car coming. 1489 01:27:23,154 --> 01:27:24,280 Yeah, we'll hide here. 1490 01:27:37,085 --> 01:27:38,294 Oh, she's dressed pretty hot. 1491 01:27:38,378 --> 01:27:39,796 STUART: Is the tiger ready? 1492 01:27:39,879 --> 01:27:41,339 Easy, boy. 1493 01:27:41,422 --> 01:27:43,925 Dinner will be served very soon, you hungry little tiger. 1494 01:27:44,008 --> 01:27:44,926 STUART: Bring the Nubile. 1495 01:27:45,009 --> 01:27:47,595 Soon, it will be time. 1496 01:27:47,679 --> 01:27:48,888 No! 1497 01:27:49,013 --> 01:27:49,722 Ah, Nubile. 1498 01:27:53,017 --> 01:27:53,726 Tie her up tight! 1499 01:27:53,851 --> 01:27:54,602 Tie her up. 1500 01:27:54,686 --> 01:27:56,688 Tie her up! 1501 01:27:56,771 --> 01:27:58,022 Tighter, gentlemen. 1502 01:27:58,106 --> 01:27:59,691 Just a bit tighter. 1503 01:27:59,774 --> 01:28:00,358 That's fine. 1504 01:28:00,441 --> 01:28:01,359 Thank you very much. 1505 01:28:03,945 --> 01:28:06,781 So, Lotus, we meet at last. 1506 01:28:06,864 --> 01:28:09,284 And let me say, my dear, that you are twice as beautiful 1507 01:28:09,367 --> 01:28:10,994 as I thought you'd be. 1508 01:28:11,077 --> 01:28:15,206 As you know, dear, today marks the end of Mercury's journey. 1509 01:28:15,331 --> 01:28:17,166 In just a few short moments, the Dragon 1510 01:28:17,250 --> 01:28:18,584 will dance through the hoop of Jupiter, 1511 01:28:18,710 --> 01:28:20,336 the Monkey ride the Jaguar. 1512 01:28:20,420 --> 01:28:23,965 And how does the rest of that legend go? 1513 01:28:25,383 --> 01:28:27,302 Ah yes. 1514 01:28:27,385 --> 01:28:30,054 The Tiger will feast on the Nubile. 1515 01:28:30,138 --> 01:28:32,015 And let me tell you, dear, they don't 1516 01:28:32,098 --> 01:28:34,642 come much more nubile than you. 1517 01:28:37,353 --> 01:28:38,813 You bitch. 1518 01:28:38,896 --> 01:28:41,316 You'll get yours. 1519 01:28:41,399 --> 01:28:42,483 Hungry, hungry, hungry. 1520 01:28:42,567 --> 01:28:43,318 Shh. 1521 01:28:53,161 --> 01:28:54,078 Hey, Jack. 1522 01:28:54,203 --> 01:28:55,580 Get ready for the Tiger's feast. 1523 01:28:55,663 --> 01:28:57,415 I hear you've been trying to instruct 1524 01:28:57,540 --> 01:29:00,043 this Detective Griswold in how to assume the powers 1525 01:29:00,126 --> 01:29:02,086 of the great Kabukiman. 1526 01:29:02,211 --> 01:29:05,214 It was a nice try, darling, but, yeah. 1527 01:29:05,298 --> 01:29:07,759 Detective Griswold is dead. 1528 01:29:07,884 --> 01:29:08,551 That's right. 1529 01:29:08,634 --> 01:29:10,261 My Rembrandt never fails. 1530 01:29:10,345 --> 01:29:12,096 He is an artist of death. 1531 01:29:19,520 --> 01:29:21,397 Coming, coming, coming. 1532 01:29:21,481 --> 01:29:22,815 They are coming. 1533 01:29:22,940 --> 01:29:23,524 Coming. 1534 01:29:23,608 --> 01:29:24,776 Coming, coming, coming. 1535 01:29:27,737 --> 01:29:28,279 Coming here. 1536 01:29:28,363 --> 01:29:29,322 Coming here. 1537 01:29:35,620 --> 01:29:37,121 Toyota, get the gun. 1538 01:29:39,957 --> 01:29:43,878 Detective Griswold was nothing but a clumsy, cheap, low-paid 1539 01:29:43,961 --> 01:29:47,090 detective in a $9 suit. 1540 01:29:49,842 --> 01:29:51,052 You know how to use one of these? 1541 01:29:51,135 --> 01:29:54,722 Take this with you, all right? 1542 01:29:54,806 --> 01:29:56,974 There's a couple of gorillas out there now. 1543 01:29:57,058 --> 01:29:58,309 No offense. 1544 01:29:58,393 --> 01:29:59,310 I want you to go around back. 1545 01:29:59,394 --> 01:30:00,853 You get the two out there. 1546 01:30:00,978 --> 01:30:02,146 I'm gonna go this way. 1547 01:30:02,230 --> 01:30:03,981 All right? 1548 01:30:04,107 --> 01:30:05,608 [laughter] 1549 01:30:07,110 --> 01:30:09,153 [gunfire] 1550 01:30:10,071 --> 01:30:11,364 Harry! 1551 01:30:11,489 --> 01:30:12,365 Get them, Harry! 1552 01:30:12,490 --> 01:30:13,408 Oh, get them, Harry! 1553 01:30:16,035 --> 01:30:18,121 Harry! 1554 01:30:18,204 --> 01:30:18,955 Harry! 1555 01:30:19,038 --> 01:30:19,956 Take that! 1556 01:30:20,039 --> 01:30:21,916 Harry. 1557 01:30:21,999 --> 01:30:24,502 [gunshots] 1558 01:30:33,344 --> 01:30:34,262 Harry. 1559 01:30:34,345 --> 01:30:35,680 Lotus, are you all right? 1560 01:30:40,435 --> 01:30:42,520 Wait a minute, guy. 1561 01:30:42,603 --> 01:30:43,855 I've got something you're gonna love. 1562 01:30:48,025 --> 01:30:48,776 Hurry! 1563 01:30:54,198 --> 01:30:55,825 Key. 1564 01:30:55,908 --> 01:30:56,451 Give it to me. 1565 01:30:56,534 --> 01:30:58,077 Give it to me. 1566 01:30:58,202 --> 01:30:58,911 Good boy. 1567 01:31:03,708 --> 01:31:06,043 I'm outta bullets. 1568 01:31:06,127 --> 01:31:08,754 Show's' over, Kabukiman. 1569 01:31:15,344 --> 01:31:16,679 Freeze, Stuart. 1570 01:31:16,762 --> 01:31:20,016 Don't think about it. 1571 01:31:20,099 --> 01:31:21,392 Put your hands up slowly. 1572 01:31:21,476 --> 01:31:22,351 Slowly. 1573 01:31:22,435 --> 01:31:24,270 Put 'em up. 1574 01:31:24,395 --> 01:31:26,272 Josephs, Hernandez. 1575 01:31:26,397 --> 01:31:27,398 Let's go, Stuart. 1576 01:31:27,482 --> 01:31:28,941 Up against the car. 1577 01:31:29,066 --> 01:31:33,154 Josephs, put that donut down and get the handcuffs on him. 1578 01:31:33,237 --> 01:31:35,406 Harry, you all right? 1579 01:31:39,911 --> 01:31:42,580 Harry, I got you to tell you. 1580 01:31:42,705 --> 01:31:46,250 We got everything we need to put Snipes and Stuart away. 1581 01:31:46,334 --> 01:31:47,418 You did good work. 1582 01:31:55,718 --> 01:31:57,637 Many, many take you. 1583 01:32:01,390 --> 01:32:02,808 Traitors! 1584 01:32:02,934 --> 01:32:04,310 Get the dagger! 1585 01:32:04,435 --> 01:32:05,937 We'll use Felicia. She's even more nubile. 1586 01:32:06,020 --> 01:32:06,812 She'll taste great. 1587 01:32:06,938 --> 01:32:07,605 Let go of me! 1588 01:32:07,688 --> 01:32:08,940 STUART: Let the feast begin! 1589 01:32:09,065 --> 01:32:09,774 No! 1590 01:32:13,861 --> 01:32:15,154 [growling] 1591 01:32:15,279 --> 01:32:16,781 No! 1592 01:32:16,864 --> 01:32:18,574 No! 1593 01:32:18,658 --> 01:32:21,118 [screaming] 1594 01:32:33,589 --> 01:32:36,467 It has begun. 1595 01:32:36,592 --> 01:32:41,055 The Tiger feasts on the Nubile. 1596 01:32:41,138 --> 01:32:42,807 It has begun. 1597 01:32:42,890 --> 01:32:43,641 No! 1598 01:32:54,527 --> 01:32:57,488 The time has come. 1599 01:32:57,613 --> 01:33:02,118 My time has come! 1600 01:33:18,718 --> 01:33:20,845 The Evil One. 1601 01:33:20,928 --> 01:33:21,887 Hey. 1602 01:33:22,013 --> 01:33:22,722 Whoa! 1603 01:33:26,434 --> 01:33:28,853 Harry! 1604 01:33:28,936 --> 01:33:29,979 Harry! 1605 01:33:30,062 --> 01:33:30,813 Harry! 1606 01:34:05,431 --> 01:34:06,182 Harry! 1607 01:34:11,228 --> 01:34:12,438 Eat the Nubile. 1608 01:34:12,563 --> 01:34:14,899 Fulfill the prophecy. 1609 01:34:15,024 --> 01:34:16,817 Harry. 1610 01:34:16,901 --> 01:34:17,568 Harry! 1611 01:34:17,652 --> 01:34:20,738 He's in the larva stage. 1612 01:34:20,821 --> 01:34:25,660 And now, I'll just worm my way into my little cocoon. 1613 01:34:43,010 --> 01:34:43,928 Harry! 1614 01:34:44,011 --> 01:34:45,596 Harry! 1615 01:34:45,721 --> 01:34:46,639 Wake up. 1616 01:34:46,764 --> 01:34:47,932 He's turning into the Evil One. 1617 01:35:10,037 --> 01:35:10,788 Harry! 1618 01:35:13,416 --> 01:35:14,125 Come on. 1619 01:35:14,250 --> 01:35:14,834 Hurry! 1620 01:35:14,959 --> 01:35:15,960 The Evil One is here. 1621 01:35:16,043 --> 01:35:18,713 You must become the Kabukiman. 1622 01:35:37,523 --> 01:35:39,108 Only two things remain. 1623 01:35:39,191 --> 01:35:42,027 The Monkey must ride the Jaguar, and the Dragon must dance 1624 01:35:42,153 --> 01:35:43,487 through the Hoop of Jupiter. 1625 01:35:43,571 --> 01:35:44,905 Look, it's happening. 1626 01:35:47,658 --> 01:35:49,201 See the Dragon, don't you? 1627 01:35:49,326 --> 01:35:53,372 Here, let me help. 1628 01:35:53,497 --> 01:35:54,665 You see? 1629 01:35:54,790 --> 01:35:58,169 It's just like at the planetarium. 1630 01:36:03,215 --> 01:36:06,093 The Dragon dances through the Hoop of Jupiter, 1631 01:36:06,177 --> 01:36:10,347 and evil will prevail! [laughter] 1632 01:36:20,107 --> 01:36:22,359 The Evil One has arrived. 1633 01:36:22,485 --> 01:36:24,987 Now it's up to you. 1634 01:36:25,070 --> 01:36:26,572 Harry. 1635 01:36:26,697 --> 01:36:27,490 Harry. 1636 01:36:27,573 --> 01:36:28,616 What the hell is this? 1637 01:36:28,699 --> 01:36:29,533 What's going on? 1638 01:36:29,658 --> 01:36:30,367 Get back. 1639 01:36:30,493 --> 01:36:31,368 Get back. 1640 01:36:31,452 --> 01:36:32,286 Take Lotus. 1641 01:36:32,369 --> 01:36:33,287 Get back. 1642 01:36:33,370 --> 01:36:34,872 Get outta the way! 1643 01:36:39,877 --> 01:36:42,338 Kabukiman! 1644 01:36:49,053 --> 01:36:52,139 [car engine turning] 1645 01:36:52,223 --> 01:36:53,557 Toyota, no! 1646 01:36:53,641 --> 01:36:54,892 I'll murder him. 1647 01:36:55,017 --> 01:36:57,394 Get away from the Jaguar! 1648 01:37:03,567 --> 01:37:05,069 No! 1649 01:37:05,152 --> 01:37:05,986 Radio. 1650 01:37:06,070 --> 01:37:07,404 JINGLE (ON RADIO): Z Morning Zoo. 1651 01:37:07,488 --> 01:37:09,698 ROSS (ON RADIO): It's Ross Briton and the zoo crew. 1652 01:37:09,782 --> 01:37:10,574 Radio. 1653 01:37:10,658 --> 01:37:12,409 Radio. 1654 01:37:12,493 --> 01:37:13,744 No! 1655 01:37:13,869 --> 01:37:17,748 Don't ride the Jaguar! 1656 01:37:17,873 --> 01:37:18,749 Lotus, come back! 1657 01:37:18,874 --> 01:37:19,792 Come back here! 1658 01:37:24,839 --> 01:37:26,507 EVIL ONE: No, you stupid woman. 1659 01:37:26,590 --> 01:37:27,633 You crazy monkey. 1660 01:37:27,758 --> 01:37:28,634 EVIL ONE: Leave the monkey alone! 1661 01:37:28,759 --> 01:37:29,885 You mustn't ride the Jaguar. 1662 01:37:32,680 --> 01:37:34,515 You're finished, Evil One. 1663 01:37:34,598 --> 01:37:37,017 The Monkey did not ride the Jaguar. 1664 01:37:37,101 --> 01:37:37,852 No! 1665 01:37:40,896 --> 01:37:41,814 Harry! 1666 01:37:44,859 --> 01:37:45,609 No! 1667 01:37:52,616 --> 01:37:53,409 Harry! 1668 01:38:22,813 --> 01:38:23,647 Easy, easy, easy. 1669 01:38:24,315 --> 01:38:24,481 All right. 1670 01:38:24,565 --> 01:38:25,399 We got you. 1671 01:38:25,482 --> 01:38:26,233 All right. 1672 01:38:26,317 --> 01:38:27,026 We got you. 1673 01:38:28,485 --> 01:38:31,488 I'm-- I'm tired. 1674 01:38:31,572 --> 01:38:33,741 I'm-- I'm going home. 1675 01:38:33,824 --> 01:38:34,575 Griswold. 1676 01:38:38,454 --> 01:38:39,872 I can explain. 1677 01:38:40,039 --> 01:38:40,915 I don't want to know. 1678 01:38:41,790 --> 01:38:45,002 What I do know is that you're off suspension, 1679 01:38:45,252 --> 01:38:49,506 and you're on vacation as of right now. 1680 01:38:52,927 --> 01:38:54,553 Let's go, partner. 1681 01:38:54,678 --> 01:38:58,265 So, Harry-- I mean, Kabukiman. 1682 01:38:58,349 --> 01:38:59,975 You have at least another thousand years 1683 01:39:00,059 --> 01:39:01,727 before the next time the dragon dances 1684 01:39:01,852 --> 01:39:03,354 through the hoop of Jupiter. 1685 01:39:03,437 --> 01:39:05,940 So what are you gonna do with the rest of your time? 1686 01:39:06,023 --> 01:39:09,360 Well, I'd like to clean my apartment, 1687 01:39:09,485 --> 01:39:12,404 do a little laundry maybe, and take some flying lessons. 1688 01:39:14,865 --> 01:39:15,616 Look! 1689 01:39:15,699 --> 01:39:16,951 Up in the sky. 1690 01:39:17,034 --> 01:39:18,410 It's a flying reptile. 1691 01:39:18,535 --> 01:39:19,536 No. 1692 01:39:19,662 --> 01:39:22,206 It's a six-winged supersonic sleuth bomber. 1693 01:39:22,331 --> 01:39:23,207 No, no, no. 1694 01:39:23,332 --> 01:39:24,541 You're thinking of a stealth bomber. 1695 01:39:24,667 --> 01:39:25,709 No. 1696 01:39:25,793 --> 01:39:27,211 It's a man in a striped bathrobe. 1697 01:39:27,336 --> 01:39:31,131 A man in a striped bathrobe? 1698 01:39:31,215 --> 01:39:32,007 Whoa! 1699 01:39:34,760 --> 01:39:37,096 No, good citizens, it's me. 1700 01:39:37,221 --> 01:39:40,099 Sergeant Kabukiman, NYPD. 1701 01:39:40,224 --> 01:39:42,226 CROWD: Sergeant Kabukiman! 1702 01:39:42,309 --> 01:39:44,728 LOTUS: Harry, watch out for that pigeon. 1703 01:39:44,812 --> 01:39:46,647 Whoa! 1704 01:39:46,730 --> 01:39:47,481 Lotus, help me! 1705 01:39:47,564 --> 01:39:48,399 Calm down, Harry! 1706 01:39:48,482 --> 01:39:49,233 Do something! 1707 01:39:49,316 --> 01:39:50,234 Oh my god, we're gonna crash! 1708 01:39:50,359 --> 01:39:50,943 Look out! 1709 01:39:51,068 --> 01:39:52,319 Get outta the way! 1710 01:39:52,403 --> 01:39:53,237 [crash] 1711 01:40:06,542 --> 01:40:12,631 THEME SONG: Sergeant Kabukiman, NYPD. 1712 01:40:15,759 --> 01:40:16,593 It's your destiny. 1713 01:40:20,389 --> 01:40:28,772 Sergeant Kabukiman, you fight off evil. 1714 01:40:28,897 --> 01:40:32,735 It was meant to be. 1715 01:40:32,818 --> 01:40:35,738 Look around you. 1716 01:40:35,821 --> 01:40:39,199 Nothing is the same. 1717 01:40:39,283 --> 01:40:44,246 Feel the power running through your vein. 1718 01:40:47,124 --> 01:40:50,753 You're a tough cop with a love for more. 1719 01:40:53,797 --> 01:40:56,967 Love is the power. 1720 01:40:57,092 --> 01:41:00,888 Love gives you power. 1721 01:41:00,971 --> 01:41:06,435 Sergeant Kabukiman, NYPD. 1722 01:41:09,521 --> 01:41:11,607 It's your destiny. 1723 01:41:14,151 --> 01:41:22,826 Sergeant Kabukiman, you fight off evil. 1724 01:41:22,910 --> 01:41:26,038 It was meant to be. 1725 01:41:26,163 --> 01:41:33,003 Trade your nightstick for a pair of chopsticks. 1726 01:41:33,087 --> 01:41:36,006 Evil's coming. 1727 01:41:36,090 --> 01:41:37,841 The time for evil is now. 1728 01:41:41,178 --> 01:41:44,264 Supernatural powers that you possess. 1729 01:41:47,851 --> 01:41:50,979 Love is the power. 1730 01:41:51,063 --> 01:41:54,191 Love gives you power. 1731 01:41:54,316 --> 01:42:00,405 Sergeant Kabukiman, NYPD. 1732 01:42:03,075 --> 01:42:04,368 It's your destiny. 1733 01:42:07,704 --> 01:42:16,588 Sergeant Kabukiman, you fight off evil. 1734 01:42:16,713 --> 01:42:19,383 It was meant to be. 115947

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