All language subtitles for Muppets Tonight s02e12 Daryl Hannah, Johnny Mathis

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,660 --> 00:00:07,240 Mama, my Pia. 2 00:00:10,020 --> 00:00:16,360 All right, great. No more songs now. Just one more song, Johnny. One more 3 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,980 No, no, no. That's enough. Now, if you want any more, you're going to have to 4 00:00:19,980 --> 00:00:20,980 pay. 5 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:27,940 I'm kidding. I'm just kidding. I want all you mothers to enjoy your day here 6 00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:29,740 the studio watching your kids work. 7 00:00:30,110 --> 00:00:32,590 All right? I got to run. Bye -bye now. Okay. 8 00:00:32,810 --> 00:00:33,930 All right. Okay. 9 00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:34,829 Oh, boy. 10 00:00:34,830 --> 00:00:37,150 You must be so proud of your son, Mrs. Bama. 11 00:00:37,350 --> 00:00:41,250 Yes, yes. But I wish he didn't leave his boxing shorts all bowled up in the 12 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:42,250 kitchen. 13 00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:44,650 What is it with this now? 14 00:00:44,910 --> 00:00:47,730 Hey, hey, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. What? I just met this girl at 15 00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:50,130 studio next door, and we're going out tonight. 16 00:00:50,470 --> 00:00:51,470 Oh, good. And get this, get this. 17 00:00:51,590 --> 00:00:52,630 She's got a sister. 18 00:00:54,670 --> 00:00:57,470 No. No, Sal. Forget it. No, no, no. 19 00:00:57,820 --> 00:00:59,720 I've been out on your monkey double dates before. 20 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,820 They spend the entire evening trying to pick bugs out of my hair. Oh, come on, 21 00:01:03,820 --> 00:01:06,220 come on, Johnny. Just meet them. No, absolutely not. 22 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,220 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Here they come. Here they come. They're right here. 23 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,120 No, I refuse. I told you, I'm not going. Turn around. 24 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:12,900 Hi, Johnny. Hey, hey, hey. 25 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,360 I'm Paige Hannah. This is my sister, Daryl. Yeah. 26 00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:18,620 Huh? Hi, Johnny. 27 00:01:18,860 --> 00:01:22,380 Nice to meet you. My grandma Lottie has one of your albums. There you go. 28 00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:23,580 I'm sorry. 29 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:26,280 What is he saying? 30 00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:30,120 Oh, he's just saying Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah. You know, so like he 31 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:30,919 forget your name. 32 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,320 No, no, Hannah, Hannah. 33 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,300 Less of the M sound, more of the N. 34 00:01:35,620 --> 00:01:39,380 Hannah. Hey, Johnny, let's take him back to your place. We'll have to place our 35 00:01:39,380 --> 00:01:41,540 dogs since Ma is here with the cronies all day. 36 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:43,040 All right. 37 00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:46,040 Hey, shall we? Thank you. 38 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,760 Johnny, I'm coming through. Gone on a date with the Hannah sisters. 39 00:01:51,340 --> 00:01:52,340 Okay. 40 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,320 All right. 41 00:02:06,250 --> 00:02:10,789 Take a load off your feet, wipe the look off your face. We've got a lot to do 42 00:02:10,789 --> 00:02:12,290 and we do it for you. 43 00:02:12,850 --> 00:02:14,570 Everybody take your place. 44 00:02:45,580 --> 00:02:50,520 true story of five Muppets picked to live in a house and have their lives 45 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:55,840 to find out what happens when Muppets stop being polite and start being real. 46 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,640 The real world Muppets. 47 00:02:58,980 --> 00:03:03,720 I'm a songwriter, but I can't work in a vacuum because a vacuum has nothing. 48 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,880 And I need something to react to. 49 00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:08,800 And what's the opposite of vacuum? 50 00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:11,160 Am I making any sense? 51 00:03:11,780 --> 00:03:14,480 Darcy is the product of homeschooling. 52 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,340 Problem is, she was raised by wolves. 53 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,940 Stupid, illiterate, permissive wolves. 54 00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:26,760 People say my songs bring out the childlike quality in others. 55 00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:30,680 Yeah, because when she sings, you want to spit up and wet yourself. 56 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:35,420 When I sing my song, I'm at my most sensitive and vulnerable. 57 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,100 I hate men. 58 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:40,760 I hate men. 59 00:03:41,140 --> 00:03:42,360 I'm meant to die. 60 00:03:43,340 --> 00:03:45,100 Death to a man. 61 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,020 I hate rats, too. 62 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,160 So, what'd you think? 63 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:58,620 What could we do? We had to tell her a song was great. She threatened to read 64 00:03:58,620 --> 00:03:59,620 her poetry. 65 00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:03,900 Bears are killers. 66 00:04:04,420 --> 00:04:05,420 Killers of sheep. 67 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:07,200 Killers of Bambi. 68 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:08,520 Bears should all die. 69 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:12,440 Kill. 70 00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:14,580 Kill them. 71 00:04:15,860 --> 00:04:17,540 So, what do you think? 72 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,220 It's a little one -sided. 73 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:26,020 So, because I'm a woman, I'm not supposed to express my opinions? 74 00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:30,240 It's easier to dance to. 75 00:04:30,540 --> 00:04:31,920 Oh, that's more like it. 76 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,920 Oh, good. Will you give me the keys to the fridge now, Darcy? 77 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:37,860 Well, I want you to hear my piercing song. 78 00:04:38,180 --> 00:04:42,340 My roommate decided to confront me about my somewhat aggressive behavior. 79 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:46,550 I'm glad we talked it out, like all good roommates who came to a compromise. 80 00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:56,110 We hate angry women who write songs for eight men and who were raised by wolves. 81 00:05:01,470 --> 00:05:02,470 Wow! 82 00:05:07,410 --> 00:05:11,240 You know, this show... It reminds me of a 25 -cent cigar. 83 00:05:11,660 --> 00:05:12,780 Oh, yeah? Why is that? 84 00:05:13,020 --> 00:05:14,680 Because it's cheap and it stinks. 85 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,160 Duh! 86 00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:20,140 Sweet dreams. 87 00:05:20,580 --> 00:05:23,760 Excuse me, excuse me. Yeah? Yes, I'm looking for my son. 88 00:05:24,060 --> 00:05:26,100 Can you help me? Yes, yes. What is your name? 89 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:27,660 I'm Belle, the bubble mom. 90 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,160 Bubbles come out of my head. 91 00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:30,860 Ooh, 92 00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:33,900 isn't that lovely? And your son's name? 93 00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:35,520 Never mind. 94 00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:36,840 I'll find him myself. 95 00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:42,680 You look just like Big Mean Carl. 96 00:05:43,140 --> 00:05:44,140 Well, he's my son. 97 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,600 I'm Tyler, the Big Mean Mom. 98 00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:48,340 Well, it's nice to meet you. 99 00:05:48,780 --> 00:05:50,460 Nice to eat you, too. 100 00:05:52,860 --> 00:05:59,380 Thank you! 101 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,020 All right, people, get ready to cue the village spiders. 102 00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:08,550 And when he was just a little baby, he used to get... so upset, so I just put a 103 00:06:08,550 --> 00:06:11,950 couple of shots of espresso in his baby bottle. Calm him right down. 104 00:06:12,570 --> 00:06:13,930 Can you dig it, Mama? 105 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:19,210 Mama, how dare you embarrass me with stories about when I was little when you 106 00:06:19,210 --> 00:06:21,090 can see that I have a show to run here. 107 00:06:21,290 --> 00:06:22,370 Here you go, son. 108 00:06:22,630 --> 00:06:26,310 A nice cup of mocha almond rocaccino. Thanks, Mom. 109 00:06:28,490 --> 00:06:30,430 Okay, cue the village spiders. 110 00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,690 Okay, bring it over, bring it over. Come on. 111 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,460 The lights hit the spiders in a certain way. They look flat. 112 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:11,840 But you know you're not dreaming, signore. 113 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:18,220 Truth's on me, but you'll see back in old Napoli. That's amore. 114 00:07:18,780 --> 00:07:21,680 That's amore. Everyone, that's amore. 115 00:07:25,340 --> 00:07:28,200 Beautiful. Well done. Thank you kindly. 116 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:29,580 That was great, Sal. 117 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:33,620 Oh, thank you. Never had a lesson. Can't read a lick of music. That's amazing. 118 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:35,200 Well, thank you very much. 119 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:36,560 Just an accordion. 120 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:41,300 So, uh, isn't this fun? We're out on a date at my house. 121 00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:43,050 And a home -cooked meal to boot? 122 00:07:44,090 --> 00:07:47,590 Speaking of boots, this meat's really tough. Oh, no, that's not the meat. 123 00:07:47,590 --> 00:07:48,590 the raviola. 124 00:07:49,030 --> 00:07:52,190 It's amazing how you decorated this place. I never knew there were so many 125 00:07:52,190 --> 00:07:54,530 saints. Oh, that ain't the half of it, dear. 126 00:07:54,790 --> 00:07:58,310 You should see Ma's room. It's like walking into the 16th chapel. 127 00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:02,610 You live with your mother? Yeah, yeah. Johnny's been living with his Ma, let me 128 00:08:02,610 --> 00:08:05,910 think, for about three, four, ever since he was born. Yeah. 129 00:08:06,170 --> 00:08:07,170 You're kidding. 130 00:08:07,310 --> 00:08:09,230 That sounds like kind of an unhealthy situation. 131 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,400 Oh, no, no. Ma keeps it very clean. Very clean. 132 00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:13,680 I mean, psychologically. 133 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,120 No, no. She remembers everything, my mother. 134 00:08:17,820 --> 00:08:19,700 You really sound like you're in denial. 135 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,680 No, no, I'm not. She remembers... Oh. 136 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,200 Oh, I... I understand. 137 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:31,040 No, no, no. You see, I've been living with Ma because, well, you know, she's 138 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,620 old. She's very, very frail. Very weak. 139 00:08:37,949 --> 00:08:38,949 Ma, 140 00:08:39,669 --> 00:08:44,370 what happened to your frailness? You got very strong all of a sudden. 141 00:08:44,850 --> 00:08:46,010 What are you doing here? 142 00:08:46,570 --> 00:08:49,630 Me? What are you doing here with those two tomatoes? 143 00:08:50,150 --> 00:08:52,130 No, Mrs. Fiamma, you got it all wrong. 144 00:08:52,330 --> 00:08:54,270 This is Paige and Daryl Hannah. 145 00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:59,270 I know who they are. I see them in the films. All the things they do to those 146 00:08:59,270 --> 00:09:02,530 boys. Look, Mrs. Fiamma, that's just play acting. 147 00:09:12,750 --> 00:09:15,050 Ma, now, now, now, put down that frying pan this instant. 148 00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:17,870 I love you. 149 00:09:18,110 --> 00:09:22,070 I love you. Now, now, don't you be putting evil eye on these girls. They 150 00:09:22,070 --> 00:09:23,370 nothing to do with anything. 151 00:09:24,110 --> 00:09:27,310 Oh, dear, you hurt innocent little monkey. 152 00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,150 Don't you listen to me. 153 00:09:30,790 --> 00:09:33,370 She's crazy. Let's get out of here before she kills us. 154 00:09:34,650 --> 00:09:36,550 Out of my house. 155 00:09:38,630 --> 00:09:39,630 That's it, Ma. 156 00:09:40,010 --> 00:09:42,510 That's it. I've had it up to here. That's the last straw. 157 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,230 And you know what? 158 00:09:44,990 --> 00:09:46,030 You're in denial. 159 00:09:46,490 --> 00:09:47,490 Not me. 160 00:09:47,650 --> 00:09:51,470 And I'm moving out of this house. Wait, Johnny. Is something wrong? 161 00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:53,390 You're crazy. 162 00:09:53,690 --> 00:09:54,690 That's what's wrong. 163 00:09:55,150 --> 00:09:57,310 And I'm never coming back, Ma. 164 00:09:57,650 --> 00:09:59,330 Never coming back. 165 00:09:59,750 --> 00:10:01,290 Oh, wait. Wait, Johnny. 166 00:10:01,510 --> 00:10:02,570 Oh, my Johnny. 167 00:10:03,450 --> 00:10:04,830 And you know what else? 168 00:10:06,370 --> 00:10:07,670 A great walk away. 169 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:21,540 And now it's time for another episode of Tales from the Deck. 170 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:24,720 You! 171 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:32,820 Welcome to another blood -chewing installment of Tales from the Deck! 172 00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:38,240 Mops, turn down the echo. 173 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:03,730 Oh, 174 00:11:03,950 --> 00:11:04,829 yes, I remember. 175 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,470 It was earlier today. 176 00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:15,090 So you say that this echo machine will enhance the scariness of the show? 177 00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:21,290 Really? I don't know. Let me think about it for a moment. 178 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,740 What do you mean we have to do another dissolve before I can get back to the 179 00:11:44,740 --> 00:11:45,740 show? 180 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,800 Didn't the clock accomplish that? 181 00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:54,840 Costume. Oh, yes, yes, all right, all right, all right. I don't want to spend 182 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,060 all day arguing about it. Just go and dissolve. 183 00:11:59,780 --> 00:12:02,160 Oh, now, where was I? 184 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:07,320 Oh, yes, there was an explosion, and then mulch flew high into the air. 185 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,500 Okay, now I know where I was. 186 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,600 is fractured, I'll just replace the part you're still under warranty on. 187 00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:27,920 What's your language, though? 188 00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:29,960 What, did your mother raise you in a sewer? 189 00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:33,100 Randy, 190 00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:44,820 take your mom to work. Days are getting too many. Hey, what the... Whose laundry 191 00:12:44,820 --> 00:12:45,559 is this? 192 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:48,120 Oh, that's mine, Clifford. What? 193 00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:52,380 Yeah, well, I find that the heat of the control room and the steam from Nigel's 194 00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:55,400 cappuccino provides a beautiful drying environment. 195 00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:58,520 But, Johnny, why can't you do it at home? 196 00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:04,240 Well, I've made a decision to move out of Ma's home, Clifford. 197 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:05,740 I'm living here now. 198 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,440 I won't be in anybody's way. 199 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,980 Clifford, Clifford, Clifford, what's going on? 200 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:16,680 Oh, that's just my toaster there, Nigel. It happens sometimes. Sorry, everybody. 201 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,360 Oh, man, could things get any worse? 202 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,180 Johnny P .M. is a ma. 203 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:26,420 Coming through. Make a way for me, Johnny P .M. is a ma. 204 00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:28,120 Sal, what are you doing? 205 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:29,520 I'm not a Sal. 206 00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:34,560 I'm a your ma, Johnny. And I was wrong, and you were right, and I want you home 207 00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:35,560 right now. 208 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,640 Sal. Yeah, Johnny? 209 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:46,140 Listen, I appreciate your very sweet but very weird gesture, but I 210 00:13:46,140 --> 00:13:51,520 just want to be alone right now, huh? Just me and my thoughts. Well, excuse 211 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:52,700 All right. 212 00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:58,720 Gee, I wonder how Ma's doing. 213 00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:01,460 I hope I didn't hurt her feelings. 214 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:07,240 You know, Sal's calves were sure looking shapely today. 215 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,280 I wonder if he's working out. 216 00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:13,380 Boy, Johnny sure is, Dad. 217 00:14:13,660 --> 00:14:17,360 There has to be some way I can get him and Mama back together again. 218 00:14:18,140 --> 00:14:22,980 Gee, these support hoes sure do make my calves look shapely. 219 00:14:23,260 --> 00:14:24,340 Pete's working out. 220 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,760 Did I just say that out loud? 221 00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:38,540 Starring David Hodgelhoff as Champ Schwimmer. 222 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,160 Spamala Henderson as Spamala. 223 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:49,240 And Andy and Randy Pig as Donnie and Art C. Schell. 224 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:56,400 Gosh, Champ, sure it's well of you to give me this three -hour tour of the 225 00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:58,560 Whoa, no problemo, Spamala. 226 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,040 I'm not sure about the weather, though. It seems to be getting a little rough. 227 00:15:02,380 --> 00:15:03,380 Oh, it is? 228 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,480 Hit it, guys. 229 00:15:08,620 --> 00:15:10,300 Our tiny ship is being tossed. 230 00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:11,840 It's a storm. 231 00:15:12,260 --> 00:15:19,140 Oh, well, you should hold on tightly to me. If not for 232 00:15:19,140 --> 00:15:22,720 the courage of the fearless, to me, our motor could be lost. 233 00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:24,020 Quit the motor! 234 00:15:32,020 --> 00:15:33,680 That'll be next stop, Desert Isle. 235 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:40,060 You know, This show reminds me of a glass of expensive brandy. Why is that? 236 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,540 Because it's old and it makes my head hurt. 237 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:50,740 Are you sure Johnny wrote this letter to me? Yeah, yeah, every word. 238 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,260 But I can read this monkey scratch. I'll read it for you. 239 00:15:55,060 --> 00:15:59,900 Dear Ma, I'm so sorry I got sore at you and moved out. 240 00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:05,180 I feel worse than having a whole bunch of fleas and ticks. 241 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:07,840 or eaten a bunch of green bananas. 242 00:16:08,380 --> 00:16:10,300 What does that mean? 243 00:16:10,660 --> 00:16:12,600 Oh, it means Johnny feels real bad. 244 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:20,220 Please come down to the studio so you and Johnny can make up. Love, Johnny. 245 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:27,720 Oh, P .S. P .S. If I, Johnny, didn't write this, may I get struck by 246 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:28,720 lightning. 247 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,560 Are you okay, little monkey? 248 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:38,040 Yeah. I gotta get down to the studio now, Mrs. 249 00:16:38,340 --> 00:16:39,980 Fiamma. Oh, boy. 250 00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:44,040 Dude, this looks like you're writing, Sal. 251 00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:48,440 Oh, she dictated it to me. She was so broken up, she couldn't even write. 252 00:16:48,820 --> 00:16:49,820 Really? Yeah. 253 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:54,920 Dear Johnny, I'm so sad about what happened and you moving out. 254 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:59,480 I feel like I fell out of a hundred -foot coconut tree and got beat up by a 255 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:03,000 bunch of orangutans who were mad because I stole their green bananas. 256 00:17:04,369 --> 00:17:05,348 That's terrible. 257 00:17:05,349 --> 00:17:06,349 Well, you're telling me. 258 00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:11,369 I'm coming to the studio to make nice, and please give Sal a raise. 259 00:17:12,730 --> 00:17:13,730 Love, Mama. 260 00:17:13,930 --> 00:17:17,930 P .S. If Mama didn't write this, may I be... Oh, you know what, Johnny? Don't 261 00:17:17,930 --> 00:17:18,868 read that part. 262 00:17:18,869 --> 00:17:21,490 Oh, all right. Well, I can't anyway. It's monkey scratch. 263 00:17:21,890 --> 00:17:24,910 Monkey scratch? What do you mean? Look at me. I can read it. 264 00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:30,150 And P .S. If I, Mama, didn't write this, may I be swallowed whole by the earth. 265 00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:31,830 Oops. 266 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,360 I wonder what Mama meant by utes. 267 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:42,720 Okay, stand by to cue the next sketch, and can somebody get me a... Oh, no, no, 268 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:44,900 no, no. Not another mocha -coca -cappuccino. 269 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,220 I'm sick of getting those. 270 00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:48,020 No, actually, I just wanted a hug. 271 00:17:48,780 --> 00:17:49,699 Forget that. 272 00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:50,780 I'd rather get a coffee. 273 00:17:51,860 --> 00:17:53,740 Works every time. 274 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:09,500 It is time now for politics and punditry from the Eagle's Nest. I'm your host, 275 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:13,740 Sam Eagle, and our topic today is balancing the federal budget. 276 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:18,500 Andy and Randy, how would you do it? I'm not really have to go to the bathroom. 277 00:18:19,220 --> 00:18:20,420 We're in the middle of a show. 278 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,020 But I really have to go. 279 00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:23,420 All right, all right, all right. Go, go, go, go. 280 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,960 And how would you balance the budget, Andy Pig? 281 00:18:27,460 --> 00:18:29,960 Oh, I'm not Andy. I'm Randy. 282 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:31,240 I'll go get him. 283 00:18:32,970 --> 00:18:36,930 Colby Roberts doesn't do this to David Brinkley. All right, let's move on. Mr. 284 00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:40,030 Burrowpan, now, how would you balance the budget? 285 00:18:40,230 --> 00:18:43,910 Well, Mr. Eagle, I balance my budgie on my finger. 286 00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:48,750 Not budgie, you buffoon. Budget. 287 00:18:49,230 --> 00:18:54,090 I'm a little budgie. Mr. Eagle, Mr. Eagle Birdman, the bathroom door is 288 00:18:54,330 --> 00:18:58,550 Well, you just have to wait. Yeah, we both gotta go now. I told you to cut 289 00:18:58,550 --> 00:18:59,750 on your lemonade consumption. 290 00:19:00,750 --> 00:19:03,950 Bobo the Bear, balancing the budget, what say you? 291 00:19:04,430 --> 00:19:07,830 Well, as I see it, Sam, Congress has to make across -the -board bipartisan 292 00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:11,010 spending cuts, approve a short -term middle -class tax cut, and incorporate 293 00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:14,030 sunset and reauthorization provisions in all the new appropriations. 294 00:19:15,290 --> 00:19:16,950 That is astounding. 295 00:19:17,170 --> 00:19:18,550 How did you come up with that? 296 00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:21,670 Oh, well, a little birdie told me. 297 00:19:23,190 --> 00:19:25,390 Hey, where's my budgie? 298 00:19:25,670 --> 00:19:26,690 I don't know. 299 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:32,000 Join us next week when our topic will be endangered species. 300 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,640 Oh, great, I'm starved. 301 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:43,840 Ma? 302 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:45,500 Johnny. 303 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:51,560 Ma, what are you doing up so late, huh? Oh, I came to sleep. 304 00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:54,500 Listen, Ma. 305 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:56,120 I... 306 00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:03,330 I hope you understand that, oh, I feel that... I'm your mama, Johnny, I 307 00:20:03,330 --> 00:20:05,690 understand. Here, sit down, eh? 308 00:20:06,010 --> 00:20:07,010 All right. 309 00:20:09,450 --> 00:20:15,870 Oh, Johnny, remember this picture, the first time you sang that song to me? 310 00:20:16,050 --> 00:20:17,990 Yeah. Sing it again, eh? 311 00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:19,930 Right now, Ma? 312 00:20:20,210 --> 00:20:21,490 It's kind of late, eh? 313 00:20:21,750 --> 00:20:25,470 Oh, come on, do what I like, just for me. 314 00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:28,030 All right for you, Ma. 315 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:32,530 You and me against the world. 316 00:20:33,510 --> 00:20:38,910 Sometimes it feels like you and me against the world. 317 00:20:39,790 --> 00:20:46,590 When all the others turn their backs and walk away, you can 318 00:20:46,590 --> 00:20:49,610 count on me to stay. 319 00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:54,230 Remember. 320 00:20:55,100 --> 00:21:01,480 When the circus came to town And you were 321 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:08,340 frightened by the clown Wasn't it nice 322 00:21:08,340 --> 00:21:15,040 to be around Someone that you knew Someone who 323 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:21,040 was big and strong And looking out for you And 324 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:27,700 me against the world sometimes it feels 325 00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:34,700 like you and me against the world and 326 00:21:34,700 --> 00:21:41,600 for all the times we've cried I always felt that God was 327 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:48,560 on our side and when one 328 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:50,220 of us is gone 329 00:21:53,390 --> 00:22:00,330 One of us is left to carry on Then 330 00:22:00,330 --> 00:22:07,230 remembering we'll have to do Our memories alone 331 00:22:07,230 --> 00:22:13,910 will get us through Think about the days 332 00:22:13,910 --> 00:22:15,670 of me and you 333 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,760 Against the world. 334 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:32,660 I love you, Ma. 335 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,360 I love you, Johnny. 336 00:22:39,580 --> 00:22:41,780 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Shut up. 337 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:43,880 Huh? 338 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,040 Ma's sleeping over here. 339 00:22:46,340 --> 00:22:47,340 Oh. 340 00:22:47,860 --> 00:22:48,960 Hey, uh... 341 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:50,500 Where you been, huh? 342 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,500 I've been to the center of the earth and back for you two. 343 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,580 Ah, that's my stinky little monkey. 344 00:23:14,730 --> 00:23:18,630 Well, I'm fine, Mrs. Fiamma. And thanks again for renting me this room. 345 00:23:18,910 --> 00:23:23,850 Oh, I can't believe I got a great singer like Johnny Mathis living with me. 346 00:23:24,230 --> 00:23:27,510 Are you sure your son's going to be okay at the YMCA? 347 00:23:27,910 --> 00:23:29,390 Oh, he's just fine. 348 00:23:29,910 --> 00:23:34,330 Now, sing me that song, Johnny. The one I like just for me. 349 00:23:34,950 --> 00:23:35,950 Oh. 350 00:23:36,330 --> 00:23:43,160 Chances are Cause I wear a silly grin The 351 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:49,720 moment you come into view No, no, no, no, Johnny, not that song. 352 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,140 Sing a misty for me. 353 00:23:52,580 --> 00:23:55,580 Okay, but after that, I'm off to bed. 354 00:23:56,700 --> 00:24:03,080 Look at me I'm as helpless as a kitten 355 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:09,340 up a tree And I feel like I'm clinging to a cloud 356 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:11,960 I can't understand. 357 00:24:12,420 --> 00:24:17,320 I get misty just holding your hand. 358 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,600 Oh, slumber party. 359 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,880 I could get my nightgown on. Excuse me. 360 00:24:30,060 --> 00:24:31,060 Hey, 361 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:37,560 look. Oh, birdies. Birdies. Birdies. Look at that. 362 00:24:39,310 --> 00:24:40,450 To the village spiders. 363 00:24:41,790 --> 00:24:42,370 I 364 00:24:42,370 --> 00:24:50,490 feel 365 00:24:50,490 --> 00:24:56,070 worse than having a whole bunch of flicks and tees. Flicks and tees? Excuse 366 00:24:56,630 --> 00:24:57,750 Flicks and tees. 27130

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