All language subtitles for Muppets Tonight s02e12 Daryl Hannah, Johnny Mathis
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1
00:00:04,660 --> 00:00:07,240
Mama, my Pia.
2
00:00:10,020 --> 00:00:16,360
All right, great. No more songs now.
Just one more song, Johnny. One more
3
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,980
No, no, no. That's enough. Now, if you
want any more, you're going to have to
4
00:00:19,980 --> 00:00:20,980
pay.
5
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:27,940
I'm kidding. I'm just kidding. I want
all you mothers to enjoy your day here
6
00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:29,740
the studio watching your kids work.
7
00:00:30,110 --> 00:00:32,590
All right? I got to run. Bye -bye now.
Okay.
8
00:00:32,810 --> 00:00:33,930
All right. Okay.
9
00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:34,829
Oh, boy.
10
00:00:34,830 --> 00:00:37,150
You must be so proud of your son, Mrs.
Bama.
11
00:00:37,350 --> 00:00:41,250
Yes, yes. But I wish he didn't leave his
boxing shorts all bowled up in the
12
00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:42,250
kitchen.
13
00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:44,650
What is it with this now?
14
00:00:44,910 --> 00:00:47,730
Hey, hey, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny,
Johnny. What? I just met this girl at
15
00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:50,130
studio next door, and we're going out
tonight.
16
00:00:50,470 --> 00:00:51,470
Oh, good. And get this, get this.
17
00:00:51,590 --> 00:00:52,630
She's got a sister.
18
00:00:54,670 --> 00:00:57,470
No. No, Sal. Forget it. No, no, no.
19
00:00:57,820 --> 00:00:59,720
I've been out on your monkey double
dates before.
20
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,820
They spend the entire evening trying to
pick bugs out of my hair. Oh, come on,
21
00:01:03,820 --> 00:01:06,220
come on, Johnny. Just meet them. No,
absolutely not.
22
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,220
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Here they come. Here
they come. They're right here.
23
00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,120
No, I refuse. I told you, I'm not going.
Turn around.
24
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:12,900
Hi, Johnny. Hey, hey, hey.
25
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,360
I'm Paige Hannah. This is my sister,
Daryl. Yeah.
26
00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:18,620
Huh? Hi, Johnny.
27
00:01:18,860 --> 00:01:22,380
Nice to meet you. My grandma Lottie has
one of your albums. There you go.
28
00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:23,580
I'm sorry.
29
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:26,280
What is he saying?
30
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Oh, he's just saying Hannah, Hannah,
Hannah, Hannah. You know, so like he
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00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:30,919
forget your name.
32
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No, no, Hannah, Hannah.
33
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Less of the M sound, more of the N.
34
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Hannah. Hey, Johnny, let's take him back
to your place. We'll have to place our
35
00:01:39,380 --> 00:01:41,540
dogs since Ma is here with the cronies
all day.
36
00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:43,040
All right.
37
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:46,040
Hey, shall we? Thank you.
38
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,760
Johnny, I'm coming through. Gone on a
date with the Hannah sisters.
39
00:01:51,340 --> 00:01:52,340
Okay.
40
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,320
All right.
41
00:02:06,250 --> 00:02:10,789
Take a load off your feet, wipe the look
off your face. We've got a lot to do
42
00:02:10,789 --> 00:02:12,290
and we do it for you.
43
00:02:12,850 --> 00:02:14,570
Everybody take your place.
44
00:02:45,580 --> 00:02:50,520
true story of five Muppets picked to
live in a house and have their lives
45
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:55,840
to find out what happens when Muppets
stop being polite and start being real.
46
00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,640
The real world Muppets.
47
00:02:58,980 --> 00:03:03,720
I'm a songwriter, but I can't work in a
vacuum because a vacuum has nothing.
48
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,880
And I need something to react to.
49
00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:08,800
And what's the opposite of vacuum?
50
00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:11,160
Am I making any sense?
51
00:03:11,780 --> 00:03:14,480
Darcy is the product of homeschooling.
52
00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,340
Problem is, she was raised by wolves.
53
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,940
Stupid, illiterate, permissive wolves.
54
00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:26,760
People say my songs bring out the
childlike quality in others.
55
00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:30,680
Yeah, because when she sings, you want
to spit up and wet yourself.
56
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:35,420
When I sing my song, I'm at my most
sensitive and vulnerable.
57
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,100
I hate men.
58
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:40,760
I hate men.
59
00:03:41,140 --> 00:03:42,360
I'm meant to die.
60
00:03:43,340 --> 00:03:45,100
Death to a man.
61
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,020
I hate rats, too.
62
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,160
So, what'd you think?
63
00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:58,620
What could we do? We had to tell her a
song was great. She threatened to read
64
00:03:58,620 --> 00:03:59,620
her poetry.
65
00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:03,900
Bears are killers.
66
00:04:04,420 --> 00:04:05,420
Killers of sheep.
67
00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:07,200
Killers of Bambi.
68
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:08,520
Bears should all die.
69
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:12,440
Kill.
70
00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:14,580
Kill them.
71
00:04:15,860 --> 00:04:17,540
So, what do you think?
72
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,220
It's a little one -sided.
73
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:26,020
So, because I'm a woman, I'm not
supposed to express my opinions?
74
00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:30,240
It's easier to dance to.
75
00:04:30,540 --> 00:04:31,920
Oh, that's more like it.
76
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,920
Oh, good. Will you give me the keys to
the fridge now, Darcy?
77
00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:37,860
Well, I want you to hear my piercing
song.
78
00:04:38,180 --> 00:04:42,340
My roommate decided to confront me about
my somewhat aggressive behavior.
79
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:46,550
I'm glad we talked it out, like all good
roommates who came to a compromise.
80
00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:56,110
We hate angry women who write songs for
eight men and who were raised by wolves.
81
00:05:01,470 --> 00:05:02,470
Wow!
82
00:05:07,410 --> 00:05:11,240
You know, this show... It reminds me of
a 25 -cent cigar.
83
00:05:11,660 --> 00:05:12,780
Oh, yeah? Why is that?
84
00:05:13,020 --> 00:05:14,680
Because it's cheap and it stinks.
85
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,160
Duh!
86
00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:20,140
Sweet dreams.
87
00:05:20,580 --> 00:05:23,760
Excuse me, excuse me. Yeah? Yes, I'm
looking for my son.
88
00:05:24,060 --> 00:05:26,100
Can you help me? Yes, yes. What is your
name?
89
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:27,660
I'm Belle, the bubble mom.
90
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,160
Bubbles come out of my head.
91
00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:30,860
Ooh,
92
00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:33,900
isn't that lovely? And your son's name?
93
00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:35,520
Never mind.
94
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:36,840
I'll find him myself.
95
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:42,680
You look just like Big Mean Carl.
96
00:05:43,140 --> 00:05:44,140
Well, he's my son.
97
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,600
I'm Tyler, the Big Mean Mom.
98
00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:48,340
Well, it's nice to meet you.
99
00:05:48,780 --> 00:05:50,460
Nice to eat you, too.
100
00:05:52,860 --> 00:05:59,380
Thank you!
101
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,020
All right, people, get ready to cue the
village spiders.
102
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:08,550
And when he was just a little baby, he
used to get... so upset, so I just put a
103
00:06:08,550 --> 00:06:11,950
couple of shots of espresso in his baby
bottle. Calm him right down.
104
00:06:12,570 --> 00:06:13,930
Can you dig it, Mama?
105
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:19,210
Mama, how dare you embarrass me with
stories about when I was little when you
106
00:06:19,210 --> 00:06:21,090
can see that I have a show to run here.
107
00:06:21,290 --> 00:06:22,370
Here you go, son.
108
00:06:22,630 --> 00:06:26,310
A nice cup of mocha almond rocaccino.
Thanks, Mom.
109
00:06:28,490 --> 00:06:30,430
Okay, cue the village spiders.
110
00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,690
Okay, bring it over, bring it over. Come
on.
111
00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,460
The lights hit the spiders in a certain
way. They look flat.
112
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:11,840
But you know you're not dreaming,
signore.
113
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:18,220
Truth's on me, but you'll see back in
old Napoli. That's amore.
114
00:07:18,780 --> 00:07:21,680
That's amore. Everyone, that's amore.
115
00:07:25,340 --> 00:07:28,200
Beautiful. Well done. Thank you kindly.
116
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:29,580
That was great, Sal.
117
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:33,620
Oh, thank you. Never had a lesson. Can't
read a lick of music. That's amazing.
118
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:35,200
Well, thank you very much.
119
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:36,560
Just an accordion.
120
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:41,300
So, uh, isn't this fun? We're out on a
date at my house.
121
00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:43,050
And a home -cooked meal to boot?
122
00:07:44,090 --> 00:07:47,590
Speaking of boots, this meat's really
tough. Oh, no, that's not the meat.
123
00:07:47,590 --> 00:07:48,590
the raviola.
124
00:07:49,030 --> 00:07:52,190
It's amazing how you decorated this
place. I never knew there were so many
125
00:07:52,190 --> 00:07:54,530
saints. Oh, that ain't the half of it,
dear.
126
00:07:54,790 --> 00:07:58,310
You should see Ma's room. It's like
walking into the 16th chapel.
127
00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:02,610
You live with your mother? Yeah, yeah.
Johnny's been living with his Ma, let me
128
00:08:02,610 --> 00:08:05,910
think, for about three, four, ever since
he was born. Yeah.
129
00:08:06,170 --> 00:08:07,170
You're kidding.
130
00:08:07,310 --> 00:08:09,230
That sounds like kind of an unhealthy
situation.
131
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,400
Oh, no, no. Ma keeps it very clean. Very
clean.
132
00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:13,680
I mean, psychologically.
133
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,120
No, no. She remembers everything, my
mother.
134
00:08:17,820 --> 00:08:19,700
You really sound like you're in denial.
135
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,680
No, no, I'm not. She remembers... Oh.
136
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,200
Oh, I... I understand.
137
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:31,040
No, no, no. You see, I've been living
with Ma because, well, you know, she's
138
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,620
old. She's very, very frail. Very weak.
139
00:08:37,949 --> 00:08:38,949
Ma,
140
00:08:39,669 --> 00:08:44,370
what happened to your frailness? You got
very strong all of a sudden.
141
00:08:44,850 --> 00:08:46,010
What are you doing here?
142
00:08:46,570 --> 00:08:49,630
Me? What are you doing here with those
two tomatoes?
143
00:08:50,150 --> 00:08:52,130
No, Mrs. Fiamma, you got it all wrong.
144
00:08:52,330 --> 00:08:54,270
This is Paige and Daryl Hannah.
145
00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:59,270
I know who they are. I see them in the
films. All the things they do to those
146
00:08:59,270 --> 00:09:02,530
boys. Look, Mrs. Fiamma, that's just
play acting.
147
00:09:12,750 --> 00:09:15,050
Ma, now, now, now, put down that frying
pan this instant.
148
00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:17,870
I love you.
149
00:09:18,110 --> 00:09:22,070
I love you. Now, now, don't you be
putting evil eye on these girls. They
150
00:09:22,070 --> 00:09:23,370
nothing to do with anything.
151
00:09:24,110 --> 00:09:27,310
Oh, dear, you hurt innocent little
monkey.
152
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,150
Don't you listen to me.
153
00:09:30,790 --> 00:09:33,370
She's crazy. Let's get out of here
before she kills us.
154
00:09:34,650 --> 00:09:36,550
Out of my house.
155
00:09:38,630 --> 00:09:39,630
That's it, Ma.
156
00:09:40,010 --> 00:09:42,510
That's it. I've had it up to here.
That's the last straw.
157
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,230
And you know what?
158
00:09:44,990 --> 00:09:46,030
You're in denial.
159
00:09:46,490 --> 00:09:47,490
Not me.
160
00:09:47,650 --> 00:09:51,470
And I'm moving out of this house. Wait,
Johnny. Is something wrong?
161
00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:53,390
You're crazy.
162
00:09:53,690 --> 00:09:54,690
That's what's wrong.
163
00:09:55,150 --> 00:09:57,310
And I'm never coming back, Ma.
164
00:09:57,650 --> 00:09:59,330
Never coming back.
165
00:09:59,750 --> 00:10:01,290
Oh, wait. Wait, Johnny.
166
00:10:01,510 --> 00:10:02,570
Oh, my Johnny.
167
00:10:03,450 --> 00:10:04,830
And you know what else?
168
00:10:06,370 --> 00:10:07,670
A great walk away.
169
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:21,540
And now it's time for another episode of
Tales from the Deck.
170
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:24,720
You!
171
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:32,820
Welcome to another blood -chewing
installment of Tales from the Deck!
172
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:38,240
Mops, turn down the echo.
173
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:03,730
Oh,
174
00:11:03,950 --> 00:11:04,829
yes, I remember.
175
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,470
It was earlier today.
176
00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:15,090
So you say that this echo machine will
enhance the scariness of the show?
177
00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:21,290
Really? I don't know. Let me think about
it for a moment.
178
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,740
What do you mean we have to do another
dissolve before I can get back to the
179
00:11:44,740 --> 00:11:45,740
show?
180
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,800
Didn't the clock accomplish that?
181
00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:54,840
Costume. Oh, yes, yes, all right, all
right, all right. I don't want to spend
182
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,060
all day arguing about it. Just go and
dissolve.
183
00:11:59,780 --> 00:12:02,160
Oh, now, where was I?
184
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:07,320
Oh, yes, there was an explosion, and
then mulch flew high into the air.
185
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,500
Okay, now I know where I was.
186
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,600
is fractured, I'll just replace the part
you're still under warranty on.
187
00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:27,920
What's your language, though?
188
00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:29,960
What, did your mother raise you in a
sewer?
189
00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:33,100
Randy,
190
00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:44,820
take your mom to work. Days are getting
too many. Hey, what the... Whose laundry
191
00:12:44,820 --> 00:12:45,559
is this?
192
00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:48,120
Oh, that's mine, Clifford. What?
193
00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:52,380
Yeah, well, I find that the heat of the
control room and the steam from Nigel's
194
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:55,400
cappuccino provides a beautiful drying
environment.
195
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:58,520
But, Johnny, why can't you do it at
home?
196
00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:04,240
Well, I've made a decision to move out
of Ma's home, Clifford.
197
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:05,740
I'm living here now.
198
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,440
I won't be in anybody's way.
199
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,980
Clifford, Clifford, Clifford, what's
going on?
200
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:16,680
Oh, that's just my toaster there, Nigel.
It happens sometimes. Sorry, everybody.
201
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,360
Oh, man, could things get any worse?
202
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,180
Johnny P .M. is a ma.
203
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:26,420
Coming through. Make a way for me,
Johnny P .M. is a ma.
204
00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:28,120
Sal, what are you doing?
205
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:29,520
I'm not a Sal.
206
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:34,560
I'm a your ma, Johnny. And I was wrong,
and you were right, and I want you home
207
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:35,560
right now.
208
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,640
Sal. Yeah, Johnny?
209
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:46,140
Listen, I appreciate your very sweet but
very weird gesture, but I
210
00:13:46,140 --> 00:13:51,520
just want to be alone right now, huh?
Just me and my thoughts. Well, excuse
211
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:52,700
All right.
212
00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:58,720
Gee, I wonder how Ma's doing.
213
00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:01,460
I hope I didn't hurt her feelings.
214
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:07,240
You know, Sal's calves were sure looking
shapely today.
215
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,280
I wonder if he's working out.
216
00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:13,380
Boy, Johnny sure is, Dad.
217
00:14:13,660 --> 00:14:17,360
There has to be some way I can get him
and Mama back together again.
218
00:14:18,140 --> 00:14:22,980
Gee, these support hoes sure do make my
calves look shapely.
219
00:14:23,260 --> 00:14:24,340
Pete's working out.
220
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,760
Did I just say that out loud?
221
00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:38,540
Starring David Hodgelhoff as Champ
Schwimmer.
222
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,160
Spamala Henderson as Spamala.
223
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:49,240
And Andy and Randy Pig as Donnie and Art
C. Schell.
224
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:56,400
Gosh, Champ, sure it's well of you to
give me this three -hour tour of the
225
00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:58,560
Whoa, no problemo, Spamala.
226
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,040
I'm not sure about the weather, though.
It seems to be getting a little rough.
227
00:15:02,380 --> 00:15:03,380
Oh, it is?
228
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,480
Hit it, guys.
229
00:15:08,620 --> 00:15:10,300
Our tiny ship is being tossed.
230
00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:11,840
It's a storm.
231
00:15:12,260 --> 00:15:19,140
Oh, well, you should hold on tightly to
me. If not for
232
00:15:19,140 --> 00:15:22,720
the courage of the fearless, to me, our
motor could be lost.
233
00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:24,020
Quit the motor!
234
00:15:32,020 --> 00:15:33,680
That'll be next stop, Desert Isle.
235
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:40,060
You know, This show reminds me of a
glass of expensive brandy. Why is that?
236
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,540
Because it's old and it makes my head
hurt.
237
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:50,740
Are you sure Johnny wrote this letter to
me? Yeah, yeah, every word.
238
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,260
But I can read this monkey scratch. I'll
read it for you.
239
00:15:55,060 --> 00:15:59,900
Dear Ma, I'm so sorry I got sore at you
and moved out.
240
00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:05,180
I feel worse than having a whole bunch
of fleas and ticks.
241
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:07,840
or eaten a bunch of green bananas.
242
00:16:08,380 --> 00:16:10,300
What does that mean?
243
00:16:10,660 --> 00:16:12,600
Oh, it means Johnny feels real bad.
244
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:20,220
Please come down to the studio so you
and Johnny can make up. Love, Johnny.
245
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:27,720
Oh, P .S. P .S. If I, Johnny, didn't
write this, may I get struck by
246
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:28,720
lightning.
247
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,560
Are you okay, little monkey?
248
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:38,040
Yeah. I gotta get down to the studio
now, Mrs.
249
00:16:38,340 --> 00:16:39,980
Fiamma. Oh, boy.
250
00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:44,040
Dude, this looks like you're writing,
Sal.
251
00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:48,440
Oh, she dictated it to me. She was so
broken up, she couldn't even write.
252
00:16:48,820 --> 00:16:49,820
Really? Yeah.
253
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:54,920
Dear Johnny, I'm so sad about what
happened and you moving out.
254
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:59,480
I feel like I fell out of a hundred
-foot coconut tree and got beat up by a
255
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:03,000
bunch of orangutans who were mad because
I stole their green bananas.
256
00:17:04,369 --> 00:17:05,348
That's terrible.
257
00:17:05,349 --> 00:17:06,349
Well, you're telling me.
258
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:11,369
I'm coming to the studio to make nice,
and please give Sal a raise.
259
00:17:12,730 --> 00:17:13,730
Love, Mama.
260
00:17:13,930 --> 00:17:17,930
P .S. If Mama didn't write this, may I
be... Oh, you know what, Johnny? Don't
261
00:17:17,930 --> 00:17:18,868
read that part.
262
00:17:18,869 --> 00:17:21,490
Oh, all right. Well, I can't anyway.
It's monkey scratch.
263
00:17:21,890 --> 00:17:24,910
Monkey scratch? What do you mean? Look
at me. I can read it.
264
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:30,150
And P .S. If I, Mama, didn't write this,
may I be swallowed whole by the earth.
265
00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:31,830
Oops.
266
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,360
I wonder what Mama meant by utes.
267
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:42,720
Okay, stand by to cue the next sketch,
and can somebody get me a... Oh, no, no,
268
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:44,900
no, no. Not another mocha -coca
-cappuccino.
269
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,220
I'm sick of getting those.
270
00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:48,020
No, actually, I just wanted a hug.
271
00:17:48,780 --> 00:17:49,699
Forget that.
272
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:50,780
I'd rather get a coffee.
273
00:17:51,860 --> 00:17:53,740
Works every time.
274
00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:09,500
It is time now for politics and punditry
from the Eagle's Nest. I'm your host,
275
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:13,740
Sam Eagle, and our topic today is
balancing the federal budget.
276
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:18,500
Andy and Randy, how would you do it? I'm
not really have to go to the bathroom.
277
00:18:19,220 --> 00:18:20,420
We're in the middle of a show.
278
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,020
But I really have to go.
279
00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:23,420
All right, all right, all right. Go, go,
go, go.
280
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,960
And how would you balance the budget,
Andy Pig?
281
00:18:27,460 --> 00:18:29,960
Oh, I'm not Andy. I'm Randy.
282
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:31,240
I'll go get him.
283
00:18:32,970 --> 00:18:36,930
Colby Roberts doesn't do this to David
Brinkley. All right, let's move on. Mr.
284
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:40,030
Burrowpan, now, how would you balance
the budget?
285
00:18:40,230 --> 00:18:43,910
Well, Mr. Eagle, I balance my budgie on
my finger.
286
00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:48,750
Not budgie, you buffoon. Budget.
287
00:18:49,230 --> 00:18:54,090
I'm a little budgie. Mr. Eagle, Mr.
Eagle Birdman, the bathroom door is
288
00:18:54,330 --> 00:18:58,550
Well, you just have to wait. Yeah, we
both gotta go now. I told you to cut
289
00:18:58,550 --> 00:18:59,750
on your lemonade consumption.
290
00:19:00,750 --> 00:19:03,950
Bobo the Bear, balancing the budget,
what say you?
291
00:19:04,430 --> 00:19:07,830
Well, as I see it, Sam, Congress has to
make across -the -board bipartisan
292
00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:11,010
spending cuts, approve a short -term
middle -class tax cut, and incorporate
293
00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:14,030
sunset and reauthorization provisions in
all the new appropriations.
294
00:19:15,290 --> 00:19:16,950
That is astounding.
295
00:19:17,170 --> 00:19:18,550
How did you come up with that?
296
00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:21,670
Oh, well, a little birdie told me.
297
00:19:23,190 --> 00:19:25,390
Hey, where's my budgie?
298
00:19:25,670 --> 00:19:26,690
I don't know.
299
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:32,000
Join us next week when our topic will be
endangered species.
300
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,640
Oh, great, I'm starved.
301
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:43,840
Ma?
302
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:45,500
Johnny.
303
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:51,560
Ma, what are you doing up so late, huh?
Oh, I came to sleep.
304
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:54,500
Listen, Ma.
305
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:56,120
I...
306
00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:03,330
I hope you understand that, oh, I feel
that... I'm your mama, Johnny, I
307
00:20:03,330 --> 00:20:05,690
understand. Here, sit down, eh?
308
00:20:06,010 --> 00:20:07,010
All right.
309
00:20:09,450 --> 00:20:15,870
Oh, Johnny, remember this picture, the
first time you sang that song to me?
310
00:20:16,050 --> 00:20:17,990
Yeah. Sing it again, eh?
311
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:19,930
Right now, Ma?
312
00:20:20,210 --> 00:20:21,490
It's kind of late, eh?
313
00:20:21,750 --> 00:20:25,470
Oh, come on, do what I like, just for
me.
314
00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:28,030
All right for you, Ma.
315
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:32,530
You and me against the world.
316
00:20:33,510 --> 00:20:38,910
Sometimes it feels like you and me
against the world.
317
00:20:39,790 --> 00:20:46,590
When all the others turn their backs and
walk away, you can
318
00:20:46,590 --> 00:20:49,610
count on me to stay.
319
00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:54,230
Remember.
320
00:20:55,100 --> 00:21:01,480
When the circus came to town And you
were
321
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:08,340
frightened by the clown Wasn't it nice
322
00:21:08,340 --> 00:21:15,040
to be around Someone that you knew
Someone who
323
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:21,040
was big and strong And looking out for
you And
324
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:27,700
me against the world sometimes it feels
325
00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:34,700
like you and me against the world and
326
00:21:34,700 --> 00:21:41,600
for all the times we've cried I always
felt that God was
327
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:48,560
on our side and when one
328
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:50,220
of us is gone
329
00:21:53,390 --> 00:22:00,330
One of us is left to carry on Then
330
00:22:00,330 --> 00:22:07,230
remembering we'll have to do Our
memories alone
331
00:22:07,230 --> 00:22:13,910
will get us through Think about the days
332
00:22:13,910 --> 00:22:15,670
of me and you
333
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,760
Against the world.
334
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:32,660
I love you, Ma.
335
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,360
I love you, Johnny.
336
00:22:39,580 --> 00:22:41,780
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Shut up.
337
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:43,880
Huh?
338
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,040
Ma's sleeping over here.
339
00:22:46,340 --> 00:22:47,340
Oh.
340
00:22:47,860 --> 00:22:48,960
Hey, uh...
341
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:50,500
Where you been, huh?
342
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,500
I've been to the center of the earth and
back for you two.
343
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,580
Ah, that's my stinky little monkey.
344
00:23:14,730 --> 00:23:18,630
Well, I'm fine, Mrs. Fiamma. And thanks
again for renting me this room.
345
00:23:18,910 --> 00:23:23,850
Oh, I can't believe I got a great singer
like Johnny Mathis living with me.
346
00:23:24,230 --> 00:23:27,510
Are you sure your son's going to be okay
at the YMCA?
347
00:23:27,910 --> 00:23:29,390
Oh, he's just fine.
348
00:23:29,910 --> 00:23:34,330
Now, sing me that song, Johnny. The one
I like just for me.
349
00:23:34,950 --> 00:23:35,950
Oh.
350
00:23:36,330 --> 00:23:43,160
Chances are Cause I wear a silly grin
The
351
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:49,720
moment you come into view No, no, no,
no, Johnny, not that song.
352
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,140
Sing a misty for me.
353
00:23:52,580 --> 00:23:55,580
Okay, but after that, I'm off to bed.
354
00:23:56,700 --> 00:24:03,080
Look at me I'm as helpless as a kitten
355
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:09,340
up a tree And I feel like I'm clinging
to a cloud
356
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:11,960
I can't understand.
357
00:24:12,420 --> 00:24:17,320
I get misty just holding your hand.
358
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,600
Oh, slumber party.
359
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,880
I could get my nightgown on. Excuse me.
360
00:24:30,060 --> 00:24:31,060
Hey,
361
00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:37,560
look. Oh, birdies. Birdies. Birdies.
Look at that.
362
00:24:39,310 --> 00:24:40,450
To the village spiders.
363
00:24:41,790 --> 00:24:42,370
I
364
00:24:42,370 --> 00:24:50,490
feel
365
00:24:50,490 --> 00:24:56,070
worse than having a whole bunch of
flicks and tees. Flicks and tees? Excuse
366
00:24:56,630 --> 00:24:57,750
Flicks and tees.
27130
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