All language subtitles for Muppets Tonight s02e07 Dennis Quaid
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1
00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:02,940
Kerm? Hi, Clifford. What are you still
doing here?
2
00:00:03,180 --> 00:00:04,760
What? Hey, you're going to be late for
your date.
3
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,039
Oh, well, it's not actually a date,
Clifford. No, I'm just taking out the
4
00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:12,180
contest winner of the Spend an Evening
with Kermit contest. You know, we had 14
5
00:00:12,180 --> 00:00:13,180
,000 entries.
6
00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:15,340
Yeah, and how many of those weren't from
Miss Piggy?
7
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:16,580
Just the winner.
8
00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:20,120
Well, then, you should have a good time.
Oh, that's true. Oh, wait a second.
9
00:00:20,140 --> 00:00:21,160
Where is Dennis Quaid?
10
00:00:21,380 --> 00:00:24,040
Oh, he's on stage rehearsing the Dennis
the Menace sketch.
11
00:00:24,260 --> 00:00:28,480
And believe me, Kerm, everything's under
control. Now go and have a good time.
12
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:32,100
You know, I suppose you're right. I
mean, after all, it's not like bowling
13
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,280
are going to come falling out of the sky
the minute I leave.
14
00:00:35,020 --> 00:00:36,820
Oh, man, why did he have to say that?
15
00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:42,100
Clifford, Clifford, we just lost the
satellite feed. What are we going to do?
16
00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:45,560
Hey, Clifford, Clifford, what happened
to the picture? I almost took out Mr.
17
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:49,160
Wilson's eye with my slingshot. Oh, no
problem, Dennis. I've got everything
18
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,160
under control.
19
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:54,300
Nigel, disconnect the coaxial hookup and
reconfigure the transponder. Okay.
20
00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:56,420
That should get our satellite feed up
and running.
21
00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,220
Or, uh, you could just plug it back in.
22
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,560
Hey, yeah!
23
00:01:01,940 --> 00:01:02,879
All right!
24
00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:04,819
Hey, thanks, Dennis. Problem solved,
everybody.
25
00:01:05,140 --> 00:01:07,900
Yeah, and we didn't even have any
bowling balls fall out of the sky.
26
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:09,880
Yeah, right.
27
00:01:11,660 --> 00:01:12,660
What are you doing?
28
00:01:13,060 --> 00:01:15,180
Hey, I know a setup line when I hear
one.
29
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:25,100
It's Muppets Tonight with our very
special guest star, Dennis Quaid! Yay!
30
00:01:32,810 --> 00:01:37,290
from the race. Take a load off your
feet, wipe the look off your face. Got a
31
00:01:37,290 --> 00:01:39,430
to do, and we do it for you.
32
00:01:39,930 --> 00:01:43,030
Everybody take your place. Bump it
tonight.
33
00:01:43,310 --> 00:01:44,310
Tonight's the night.
34
00:01:45,430 --> 00:01:46,430
Tonight's the night.
35
00:01:46,950 --> 00:01:49,370
We gotta go.
36
00:02:16,650 --> 00:02:19,310
a bunch of bowling balls. Ooh, that must
have hurt.
37
00:02:19,630 --> 00:02:20,448
It did.
38
00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:24,430
Hey, check this out. To keep the show
from getting away from me this time,
39
00:02:24,430 --> 00:02:26,970
given out these walkie -talkies. Ooh,
zippy.
40
00:02:27,650 --> 00:02:29,490
That's what I said. Watch this.
41
00:02:30,290 --> 00:02:32,290
Come in, Sector 4. Do you read me?
42
00:02:33,730 --> 00:02:35,750
Sector 4, coming through loud and clear.
43
00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:41,370
Yeah. See? From now on, we're going to
be a lean, mean, well -oiled machine.
44
00:02:41,730 --> 00:02:42,589
Well, all right.
45
00:02:42,590 --> 00:02:43,590
That's right.
46
00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:45,690
Come in, Sector 3.
47
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:50,720
Need more, Pepe? Do you read me? Oh,
Pepe, will you get that? I have to
48
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:51,740
this calamari for lunch.
49
00:02:52,260 --> 00:02:53,800
I have to do everything around here.
50
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:55,140
Do you read me?
51
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:56,920
Roger, we read you.
52
00:02:58,580 --> 00:03:02,320
Will you stop playing around?
53
00:03:03,140 --> 00:03:06,360
Oh, man, I think my well -oiled
machine's got too many dipsticks.
54
00:03:07,180 --> 00:03:10,260
This is sector two. Come in, Clifford.
Do you read me?
55
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:14,280
Yeah, Rizzo, loud and clear. Sounds like
you're right next to me. That's because
56
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,280
I am.
57
00:03:16,359 --> 00:03:19,980
And you should sound like you're on
stage because we're on the air.
58
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,620
I can do that.
59
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:23,880
Hey,
60
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,060
welcome to Muppets Tonight.
61
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:28,160
Our special guest is Mr.
62
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:29,440
Dennis Wayne.
63
00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:30,620
Give it up.
64
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:35,260
But first, here's the great gonzo
singing, Dancing with My Chicken.
65
00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:38,480
Can't do it, can't do it, Clifford.
What? All my chickens flew the coop.
66
00:03:38,820 --> 00:03:43,440
What? Okay, man, it's no problem. I'll
just tell a few jokes. Excuse me, folks.
67
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,260
Somebody, anybody, come in. I need a
joke, fast.
68
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,060
Hello? Anyone there?
69
00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:53,820
Cleaver, how do you get a 200 -pound
squid off the face of an elephant?
70
00:03:54,780 --> 00:03:59,380
Hey, folks, how do you get a 200 -pound
squid off the face of an elephant? Give
71
00:03:59,380 --> 00:04:00,380
up?
72
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:01,800
What's the punchline?
73
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,860
Okay. Hell, this squid is sucking my
face off.
74
00:04:07,820 --> 00:04:08,820
I don't get it.
75
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:20,329
Remember Clifford rehearsing an
interpretive squid dance with Seymour?
76
00:04:20,850 --> 00:04:21,870
Hey, guys.
77
00:04:22,150 --> 00:04:26,530
Hey, I had a few extra minutes, so I
took the liberty of doing everyone's
78
00:04:26,530 --> 00:04:30,190
for the next year, and you're all
getting a big refund.
79
00:04:30,530 --> 00:04:31,770
What? Yeah.
80
00:04:32,030 --> 00:04:33,030
Even me, Dennis?
81
00:04:33,070 --> 00:04:37,190
Yeah. Look, with 120 dependents, you
qualify for the rat family tax credit.
82
00:04:37,350 --> 00:04:39,730
What? That's great. You know, Clifford
told me I didn't qualify.
83
00:04:40,050 --> 00:04:41,850
Where is that H &R blockhead?
84
00:04:45,540 --> 00:04:47,160
Hey, Clifford, you need a little help
with that?
85
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,120
Meet some fishies!
86
00:04:55,440 --> 00:05:00,740
Oh, Dennis, thanks.
87
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:02,080
Hey, how'd you do that?
88
00:05:02,340 --> 00:05:05,240
Oh, it's just a little something I
learned in the Peace Corps, Clifford.
89
00:05:05,620 --> 00:05:07,160
Don't you just love this guy?
90
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,480
Yeah. Group hug.
91
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,980
Hey, Dennis, you are so good at fixing
problems. Maybe you can help me figure
92
00:05:16,980 --> 00:05:20,200
out how to perform my dancing with
chickens number without my chickens.
93
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:25,180
Well, why don't you just dance with
yourself?
94
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,880
Holy Toledo, that's it!
95
00:05:37,150 --> 00:05:38,350
Thank you.
96
00:05:41,490 --> 00:05:42,890
Thank
97
00:05:42,890 --> 00:05:48,870
you.
98
00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:20,040
double Gonzo. Only double? You should be
seeing a lot more than that.
99
00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:25,299
Hey,
100
00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:37,480
everybody.
101
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,420
I hear there's a party over at Gonzo.
102
00:07:00,910 --> 00:07:04,370
Yeah, Charlie and Company, what is it?
Oh, okay. I got today's paper. Yeah,
103
00:07:04,370 --> 00:07:04,989
yeah, yeah.
104
00:07:04,990 --> 00:07:09,110
I need a five -letter word for a small
river in Mesopotamia. Over.
105
00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:12,870
Bobo, why are you bothering me with a
crossword puzzle?
106
00:07:13,370 --> 00:07:14,770
I couldn't find Dennis.
107
00:07:17,410 --> 00:07:20,070
I'd give anything to switch places with
Kermit right now.
108
00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:28,130
Hmm. Well, this seems to be the correct
address.
109
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:34,210
Ooh. Hi.
110
00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:35,970
Hi there.
111
00:07:36,850 --> 00:07:38,570
I'm Kermit the Frog here.
112
00:07:38,890 --> 00:07:43,090
You must be the winner of the contest,
Miss Gottfried. Oh, no, I'm just
113
00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:45,310
visiting. You must be my friend. Oh,
Gilbert.
114
00:07:45,770 --> 00:07:46,770
Gilbert?
115
00:08:08,810 --> 00:08:09,689
I suppose.
116
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,830
Oh, I can say underpants all I want. I
can yell to the whole neighborhood. No,
117
00:08:12,830 --> 00:08:13,769
no, no.
118
00:08:13,770 --> 00:08:14,770
Underpants!
119
00:08:14,950 --> 00:08:17,170
I'm standing here in my underpants.
120
00:08:17,510 --> 00:08:22,190
Oh, I've got to show you the sculpture I
made of you. Sculpture? I made a shrine
121
00:08:22,190 --> 00:08:27,750
of you. It's made out of nothing but
soda crackers and lemon juice. I pray to
122
00:08:27,750 --> 00:08:28,749
every night.
123
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:32,770
But we'll be late for dinner. Oh, we'll
be late for dinner. We'll be late for
124
00:08:32,770 --> 00:08:34,429
dinner. You're a major star.
125
00:08:34,789 --> 00:08:37,890
Get that to your head. They have to bow
down to you.
126
00:08:38,090 --> 00:08:39,090
What?
127
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:48,080
And that, my friends, is how you make a
four -tiered mock wedding cake using
128
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,600
nothing but soda crackers and lemon
juice.
129
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:52,480
Wow!
130
00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:56,260
Dennis Quinn, nothing is impossible for
you.
131
00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:01,160
Yeah. Now that you showed us your
special dish, we're going to show you
132
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:06,200
special dish, which was calamari, but
now it's... Ta -da!
133
00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:08,379
Meatless meatballs.
134
00:09:08,860 --> 00:09:10,340
They're made from grain. Yeah.
135
00:09:13,940 --> 00:09:14,940
Not bad.
136
00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:17,920
But may I make a suggestion?
137
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:18,899
Oh, yes.
138
00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:20,020
Eat them up first?
139
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,360
Wow! Eat them up? What a great idea!
140
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:24,559
I'll be right back.
141
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:25,560
Okay, okay.
142
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,080
Thank you.
143
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:32,620
Dennis Quaid, we would just love to do a
song with you, but we couldn't think of
144
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:33,519
what to do.
145
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:38,480
Well, Pepe, it's funny. When picking a
song, sometimes it just comes to you in
146
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:39,480
flash.
147
00:10:07,210 --> 00:10:08,210
This is fine.
148
00:10:08,750 --> 00:10:09,230
Feed
149
00:10:09,230 --> 00:10:16,930
me,
150
00:10:16,970 --> 00:10:17,970
baby.
151
00:10:18,790 --> 00:10:21,410
I won't eat until I can do what I want.
152
00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:22,710
Oh, man.
153
00:10:46,060 --> 00:10:50,840
Amazing entertainer. Yeah, yeah. You
should host the show every week. Oh,
154
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:51,840
marvelous idea.
155
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,080
Yeah, yeah. Yes, every week.
156
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:57,180
Yeah, we can talk to Kermit. It's a
crying shame. Oh, yeah.
157
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:58,319
Say what?
158
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:02,220
I was saying to my brother, it's a
crying shame the way they treat an
159
00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:06,360
like you. Am I right or am I wrong?
Crying shame. I mean, a man like you
160
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:10,820
be treated with respect. Treated with
respect. You come with us, and your days
161
00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:13,120
of wrestling squid are over. Over.
162
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,660
Am I right or am I wrong? Squid.
163
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:20,780
Say, say, you guys aren't from that
place with Pie and Brimstone and Little
164
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:21,719
Demons, are you?
165
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:22,760
You mean the network?
166
00:11:23,420 --> 00:11:25,400
No, no, definitely not the network.
167
00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:31,320
Clifford, Artie and I would like to
welcome you to Mario Nuts, the most
168
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,260
successful puppet show on television.
169
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,820
Oh, I recognize you two. You're Artie
and Marty Pipkin.
170
00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:41,630
In the flesh. So what's this all about?
Hey, you know, you're a smart dresser,
171
00:11:41,630 --> 00:11:43,070
Clifford. Do you like Italian suits?
172
00:11:43,390 --> 00:11:46,590
Well, I love Italian suits. I told you
he had good taste. So what's this got to
173
00:11:46,590 --> 00:11:49,010
do with... Hey, let me ask you
something, Clifford. Do you like banana
174
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:53,590
I love banana bread. I told you he was a
banana bread type of guy. So you guys
175
00:11:53,590 --> 00:11:55,310
asked me here because... Do you like
money?
176
00:11:55,670 --> 00:11:57,710
I love money. What'd I tell you?
177
00:11:57,990 --> 00:12:00,250
Clifford, what would you say to two
million dollars?
178
00:12:00,790 --> 00:12:01,790
Me?
179
00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:05,160
I'd say, how do you do, two million
dollars? Do you want to live in my
180
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:10,140
I love your sense of humor, Clifford.
Let us be frank.
181
00:12:10,340 --> 00:12:12,660
We think you're terrific. Am I right or
am I wrong?
182
00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:16,400
Terrific. And we'd like you to come be
the new host of, are you ready?
183
00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:18,620
The Mario Nuts Show.
184
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:23,900
I'm flattered by the offer, guys, but
what's most important to me is to feel
185
00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:28,320
like I'm a part of a group. You know,
like a member of a... A family. Am I
186
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:32,540
right? That's what we are, a family
show. Of course, you know that. You've
187
00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:36,060
our program. My point being... Well,
actually, I've never seen the show.
188
00:12:36,510 --> 00:12:37,550
You've never seen the show?
189
00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:40,610
Well, what have you been watching
Tuesday mornings at 5 .45?
190
00:12:41,070 --> 00:12:42,310
Yeah, what are you, sleeping?
191
00:12:42,730 --> 00:12:46,890
Look, do me a favor. Just watch this
tape of the Mario Nuts in action.
192
00:12:47,290 --> 00:12:48,910
Featuring two of our biggest stars.
193
00:12:49,170 --> 00:12:52,670
Lucky the Duck and Sparky the Pool
Cleaner. Spin them around, Monica.
194
00:12:52,910 --> 00:12:55,090
There you go.
195
00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:56,510
Oh,
196
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,170
she's friendly.
197
00:12:59,890 --> 00:13:02,170
Hi, boys and girls. I'm Lucky Duck.
198
00:13:02,830 --> 00:13:04,510
Thank you. Thank you.
199
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,140
Gee, I wonder where Sparky is.
200
00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:08,740
Oh, here comes Sparky now.
201
00:13:37,070 --> 00:13:41,110
I think that is the most disgusting,
depraved, irresponsible, and immoral
202
00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:43,110
for a television program I've ever seen.
203
00:13:43,650 --> 00:13:46,690
Oh, so we got a deal, then. Well, great.
We'll see you on Monday. Monday.
204
00:13:47,510 --> 00:13:49,630
Okay, team, get ready to go to camera
one.
205
00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:50,990
Where's Clifford?
206
00:13:51,370 --> 00:13:54,710
Where's Clifford? He's meant to
introduce the next team. Get him on
207
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:56,470
need Clifford now. Nigel, Nigel, Nigel,
relax.
208
00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,910
What, what, what? Dennis Quaid's going
to do it.
209
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:02,750
Oh. Oh, well, in that case, can somebody
fetch me a double decaf short dry
210
00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:04,190
cappuccino with a little twist?
211
00:14:04,550 --> 00:14:05,550
All we have is water.
212
00:14:06,540 --> 00:14:07,540
That'll do.
213
00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:11,400
Welcome back to Muppets Tonight. I'm
Dennis Quaid, and I'm pleased to
214
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,400
this next bit.
215
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:16,800
It's a screen test that Kermit the Frog
and I did for a movie that eventually
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00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,320
became Dragonheart.
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00:14:18,860 --> 00:14:20,000
Let's watch, shall we?
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00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:34,180
Oh, it's only some brave warrior
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00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:37,910
will come and help us fight. The evil
dragon, Frogo.
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00:14:38,630 --> 00:14:44,090
I am sorry that I am late. There was a
five -horse pileup on ye olde
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00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:47,270
Where is the dreaded Frogo?
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00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:52,130
I'll take a stab at it. He's in the
cave.
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00:14:52,670 --> 00:14:54,210
Thank you, Sir Sarcasm.
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00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:57,570
Frogo, the reign of terror is over.
225
00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:00,550
I, Circumference of a Circle, shall
fight you to the death.
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00:15:00,790 --> 00:15:02,210
Oh, get over thyself.
227
00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:08,800
You don't sound like Sean Connery. Yeah,
you don't sound like Jerry Lee Lewis.
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00:15:09,220 --> 00:15:10,220
Oh,
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00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,520
impersonal.
230
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,400
Stand back, everyone.
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00:15:17,980 --> 00:15:20,000
Hey -ho, Frodo the Dragon here.
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00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:22,920
I am ready to face thee.
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00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:26,240
Cori's tiny.
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00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:28,500
Why is not even as big as me boy?
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00:15:30,090 --> 00:15:33,790
You are not as intimidating as the
script led me to believe.
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00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:37,610
Yeah, well, you see, that's because I
should have come in in the foreground. I
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00:15:37,610 --> 00:15:39,210
would have looked much bigger. I'll just
do it again.
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00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:45,230
Now I
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00:15:45,230 --> 00:15:51,370
shall roast you alive with my fire
-breathing abilities. Turn on the gas,
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00:15:53,630 --> 00:15:56,150
Oh, goodness gracious!
241
00:15:56,530 --> 00:15:57,890
These great boys are on fire!
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00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,280
that song, kid. Two, three.
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00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:06,580
Gee,
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00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:17,000
I guess I was wrong. He does sound like
Jerry Lee Lewis.
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00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:25,420
You know, when I watch this show, I find
myself counting the minutes until it's
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00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:27,120
over. Really? How many are left?
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00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,420
if you look kind of green.
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00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:45,360
You know what I'm having for dinner?
What?
249
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:47,640
Frog's legs!
250
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,860
Wouldn't that be in horrible taste?
251
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:57,320
Wouldn't that be horrible? I'm sitting
here with you and I'd be eating frog's
252
00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:01,660
legs. It would be kind of like having
dinner with the Donner Party.
253
00:17:04,420 --> 00:17:07,140
Oh, speaking of cadavers.
254
00:17:08,430 --> 00:17:11,490
Have you ever seen my book of crime
scene photographs?
255
00:17:11,970 --> 00:17:17,290
No, no, not actually. Oh, I carry it
around as a conversation piece. Oh, no,
256
00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:19,869
no. Here, it's called Isn't It Gross?
257
00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:22,089
It's old crime scene photographs.
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00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:27,250
I'll show it to you while you eat. Here,
look at that. Oh, here's that. Oh, he
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00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:28,790
doesn't even look human anymore.
260
00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:33,250
Oh, look at that guy down there. Is that
disgusting?
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00:17:41,420 --> 00:17:42,420
Yo, Bobo.
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00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,539
I'm back.
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00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:46,320
Did you miss me? Uh -huh. Delta, Delta,
Niner, Niner.
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00:17:46,980 --> 00:17:48,320
Checking your sector four here.
265
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:50,440
I mean, knock it off. That's over with.
266
00:17:51,140 --> 00:17:52,140
Roger that.
267
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,180
How are things going on the show?
268
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,360
Oh, well, Dennis Quaid is doing great.
269
00:17:58,820 --> 00:18:01,820
You know, you guys really ought to do
this show together.
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00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:06,540
You know, well, we could call it the,
uh, the Dennis Quaid and Clifford Muppet
271
00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:08,580
Good Time Hour featuring Dennis Quaid.
272
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:09,840
Huh?
273
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:11,680
That's a good idea.
274
00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:16,500
Yeah, yeah. And then, uh... Jeez, what's
up, Biscuit?
275
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,660
Homicide, Detective Bobo. Bobo, stop
fooling around.
276
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:29,040
Have you seen Clifford? Oh, uh, well, he
just went in the elevator and, uh, went
277
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,200
up to the roof. How come?
278
00:18:31,630 --> 00:18:36,630
I'm no licensed psychologist, but I
would posit that he suffers from
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00:18:36,630 --> 00:18:40,310
depression triggered by your hyper
-efficient performance of his duties.
280
00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:43,030
Are you saying it's my fault?
281
00:18:43,270 --> 00:18:45,990
Oh, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey. What do
I know?
282
00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:49,670
I'm a bear. I get my jollies from
tipping over garbage cans, huh?
283
00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:03,940
The people I work with don't need me
anymore.
284
00:19:04,140 --> 00:19:07,100
The other show I was offered was
disgusting and depraved.
285
00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:12,520
I guess the only place I belong now is
right here on the roof.
286
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,360
Oh, no, not that song again.
287
00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:19,760
I wish for once somebody would come up
here and sing Born to Be Wild.
288
00:19:20,180 --> 00:19:27,160
When this old world starts getting me
down and people are just too much
289
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,080
for me to bear.
290
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:39,060
I climb way up to the top of the stairs
and all my cares just drift
291
00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:40,860
right into space.
292
00:20:20,799 --> 00:20:22,080
All right.
293
00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:26,580
Does anyone have a number two wrench?
294
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:27,960
Anybody? No.
295
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:33,440
All right, then. Well, we'll have to use
the number one rat. What? Oh, no, not
296
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,540
again. Come on down, Manny. All right.
297
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:36,800
Here we go.
298
00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:38,100
Now, bite down.
299
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,360
All right.
300
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:44,720
There.
301
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:47,440
There you go.
302
00:20:47,660 --> 00:20:48,940
Hey, it's working.
303
00:20:49,380 --> 00:20:50,820
Clifford fixed it. Yeah.
304
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,580
I'm going to be tasting bolt grease for
a week.
305
00:20:56,620 --> 00:21:00,720
We're sorry we ignored you and made such
a big fuss over Dennis Quaid.
306
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:04,160
Yeah, yeah. We really care about you.
307
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,060
Hey, don't you just love this guy?
308
00:21:07,460 --> 00:21:08,460
Group hug!
309
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,960
You know, I feel good, good.
310
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,260
Hey, give me another problem to solve.
311
00:21:16,460 --> 00:21:20,060
Okay, here's one for you. There's two
minutes left to go in the show and
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00:21:20,060 --> 00:21:21,780
nobody on stage to say goodnight.
313
00:21:22,140 --> 00:21:23,220
Consider it done.
314
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,240
Okay.
315
00:21:28,340 --> 00:21:30,000
I wonder where Dennis went.
316
00:21:31,060 --> 00:21:34,060
Dennis, do you like Italian suits?
317
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:35,360
High quality suits.
318
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:40,040
Look, I'm telling you one more time. I
am not doing your stupid puppet show.
319
00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:41,540
Stupid puppet show.
320
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:47,600
Excuse me, excuse me. Yeah, you look
like a banana bread kind of guy.
321
00:21:47,860 --> 00:21:50,820
Oh, well, actually, I'm more of a bubble
type of a guy. Let me show you.
322
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,040
Oh, look at that.
323
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:55,440
A little family.
324
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,560
Hey, we'd like to thank our guest star,
Mr.
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00:21:59,780 --> 00:22:01,200
Dennis Quaid. Hey!
326
00:22:01,540 --> 00:22:03,140
You can do everything.
327
00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:07,460
Oh, no, no, no, no. It was really great
being here, Clifford. But, you know, I
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00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:08,460
really can't do everything.
329
00:22:08,620 --> 00:22:12,840
Oh, man, Mr. Mike. No, no, no, no, no,
no. I mean it, I mean it. Look, half the
330
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,760
things I did today, they were just lucky
guesses, and the rest, blah.
331
00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:21,360
Huh. Excuse me, excuse me. I'm from the
IRS. Is there a Mr.
332
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:22,740
Rizzo the Rat here?
333
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:24,800
Yeah. Mr.
334
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,040
the Rat, I need to speak to you about
your 120 dependents.
335
00:22:30,540 --> 00:22:32,400
She didn't qualify after all, huh?
336
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,380
You'll never take me alive!
337
00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:37,880
Officer! Hey, hey, wait!
338
00:22:38,140 --> 00:22:39,940
Hey, hold it, you!
339
00:22:40,340 --> 00:22:41,420
You know what, Clifford?
340
00:22:41,660 --> 00:22:43,860
I think I need a break. What are you
going to do?
341
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:45,980
Well, you know my friend Greg Hall.
342
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,320
He's going to give me some flying
lessons.
343
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,800
Goodness gracious, Greg Hall's a flyer?
344
00:22:53,140 --> 00:22:54,280
One, two, three.
345
00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:08,400
It's too much of a stretch. I mean, Greg
Hall's a flyer? What am I thinking?
346
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,920
Dennis, take it from me. When you got
something that works, you got to stick
347
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:12,920
with it, man.
348
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:38,320
you what a wonderful time I had. Well,
actually, I can tell you. Here, listen.
349
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:43,140
Carmen, what a wonderful time I had,
huh? Well, I have to be going now. Thank
350
00:23:43,140 --> 00:23:44,160
you. Whoa.
351
00:23:45,380 --> 00:23:46,960
Gee, my feet are stuck.
352
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:51,640
Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. I really
should have told you that. You know how
353
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:56,160
in front of the Chinese theater, they
have the movie star's feet in cement?
354
00:23:56,340 --> 00:23:57,940
Well, they don't have their feet in
cement.
355
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,299
What's your point?
356
00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:03,460
In front of the Chinese theater. Well, I
put cement here so I can have... your
357
00:24:03,460 --> 00:24:04,780
footprints. What?
358
00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:07,960
Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. I'm
stuck here, too.
359
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:09,200
Ha, ha, ha!
360
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:14,620
Let's see. We'll eventually either be
rescued or we'll starve to death. Hey,
361
00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:18,280
know, just to kill the time, what do you
say we sing a little song? You know,
362
00:24:18,340 --> 00:24:20,400
finicky -lee, finicky -la, the clean
version.
363
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:21,960
Junkie!
364
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:51,800
Takes one to know one.
27605
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