All language subtitles for Muppets Tonight s02e07 Dennis Quaid

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:02,940 Kerm? Hi, Clifford. What are you still doing here? 2 00:00:03,180 --> 00:00:04,760 What? Hey, you're going to be late for your date. 3 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,039 Oh, well, it's not actually a date, Clifford. No, I'm just taking out the 4 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:12,180 contest winner of the Spend an Evening with Kermit contest. You know, we had 14 5 00:00:12,180 --> 00:00:13,180 ,000 entries. 6 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:15,340 Yeah, and how many of those weren't from Miss Piggy? 7 00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:16,580 Just the winner. 8 00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:20,120 Well, then, you should have a good time. Oh, that's true. Oh, wait a second. 9 00:00:20,140 --> 00:00:21,160 Where is Dennis Quaid? 10 00:00:21,380 --> 00:00:24,040 Oh, he's on stage rehearsing the Dennis the Menace sketch. 11 00:00:24,260 --> 00:00:28,480 And believe me, Kerm, everything's under control. Now go and have a good time. 12 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:32,100 You know, I suppose you're right. I mean, after all, it's not like bowling 13 00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,280 are going to come falling out of the sky the minute I leave. 14 00:00:35,020 --> 00:00:36,820 Oh, man, why did he have to say that? 15 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:42,100 Clifford, Clifford, we just lost the satellite feed. What are we going to do? 16 00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:45,560 Hey, Clifford, Clifford, what happened to the picture? I almost took out Mr. 17 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:49,160 Wilson's eye with my slingshot. Oh, no problem, Dennis. I've got everything 18 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,160 under control. 19 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:54,300 Nigel, disconnect the coaxial hookup and reconfigure the transponder. Okay. 20 00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:56,420 That should get our satellite feed up and running. 21 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,220 Or, uh, you could just plug it back in. 22 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,560 Hey, yeah! 23 00:01:01,940 --> 00:01:02,879 All right! 24 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:04,819 Hey, thanks, Dennis. Problem solved, everybody. 25 00:01:05,140 --> 00:01:07,900 Yeah, and we didn't even have any bowling balls fall out of the sky. 26 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:09,880 Yeah, right. 27 00:01:11,660 --> 00:01:12,660 What are you doing? 28 00:01:13,060 --> 00:01:15,180 Hey, I know a setup line when I hear one. 29 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:25,100 It's Muppets Tonight with our very special guest star, Dennis Quaid! Yay! 30 00:01:32,810 --> 00:01:37,290 from the race. Take a load off your feet, wipe the look off your face. Got a 31 00:01:37,290 --> 00:01:39,430 to do, and we do it for you. 32 00:01:39,930 --> 00:01:43,030 Everybody take your place. Bump it tonight. 33 00:01:43,310 --> 00:01:44,310 Tonight's the night. 34 00:01:45,430 --> 00:01:46,430 Tonight's the night. 35 00:01:46,950 --> 00:01:49,370 We gotta go. 36 00:02:16,650 --> 00:02:19,310 a bunch of bowling balls. Ooh, that must have hurt. 37 00:02:19,630 --> 00:02:20,448 It did. 38 00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:24,430 Hey, check this out. To keep the show from getting away from me this time, 39 00:02:24,430 --> 00:02:26,970 given out these walkie -talkies. Ooh, zippy. 40 00:02:27,650 --> 00:02:29,490 That's what I said. Watch this. 41 00:02:30,290 --> 00:02:32,290 Come in, Sector 4. Do you read me? 42 00:02:33,730 --> 00:02:35,750 Sector 4, coming through loud and clear. 43 00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:41,370 Yeah. See? From now on, we're going to be a lean, mean, well -oiled machine. 44 00:02:41,730 --> 00:02:42,589 Well, all right. 45 00:02:42,590 --> 00:02:43,590 That's right. 46 00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:45,690 Come in, Sector 3. 47 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:50,720 Need more, Pepe? Do you read me? Oh, Pepe, will you get that? I have to 48 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:51,740 this calamari for lunch. 49 00:02:52,260 --> 00:02:53,800 I have to do everything around here. 50 00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:55,140 Do you read me? 51 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:56,920 Roger, we read you. 52 00:02:58,580 --> 00:03:02,320 Will you stop playing around? 53 00:03:03,140 --> 00:03:06,360 Oh, man, I think my well -oiled machine's got too many dipsticks. 54 00:03:07,180 --> 00:03:10,260 This is sector two. Come in, Clifford. Do you read me? 55 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:14,280 Yeah, Rizzo, loud and clear. Sounds like you're right next to me. That's because 56 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,280 I am. 57 00:03:16,359 --> 00:03:19,980 And you should sound like you're on stage because we're on the air. 58 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,620 I can do that. 59 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:23,880 Hey, 60 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,060 welcome to Muppets Tonight. 61 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:28,160 Our special guest is Mr. 62 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:29,440 Dennis Wayne. 63 00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:30,620 Give it up. 64 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:35,260 But first, here's the great gonzo singing, Dancing with My Chicken. 65 00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:38,480 Can't do it, can't do it, Clifford. What? All my chickens flew the coop. 66 00:03:38,820 --> 00:03:43,440 What? Okay, man, it's no problem. I'll just tell a few jokes. Excuse me, folks. 67 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,260 Somebody, anybody, come in. I need a joke, fast. 68 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,060 Hello? Anyone there? 69 00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:53,820 Cleaver, how do you get a 200 -pound squid off the face of an elephant? 70 00:03:54,780 --> 00:03:59,380 Hey, folks, how do you get a 200 -pound squid off the face of an elephant? Give 71 00:03:59,380 --> 00:04:00,380 up? 72 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:01,800 What's the punchline? 73 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,860 Okay. Hell, this squid is sucking my face off. 74 00:04:07,820 --> 00:04:08,820 I don't get it. 75 00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:20,329 Remember Clifford rehearsing an interpretive squid dance with Seymour? 76 00:04:20,850 --> 00:04:21,870 Hey, guys. 77 00:04:22,150 --> 00:04:26,530 Hey, I had a few extra minutes, so I took the liberty of doing everyone's 78 00:04:26,530 --> 00:04:30,190 for the next year, and you're all getting a big refund. 79 00:04:30,530 --> 00:04:31,770 What? Yeah. 80 00:04:32,030 --> 00:04:33,030 Even me, Dennis? 81 00:04:33,070 --> 00:04:37,190 Yeah. Look, with 120 dependents, you qualify for the rat family tax credit. 82 00:04:37,350 --> 00:04:39,730 What? That's great. You know, Clifford told me I didn't qualify. 83 00:04:40,050 --> 00:04:41,850 Where is that H &R blockhead? 84 00:04:45,540 --> 00:04:47,160 Hey, Clifford, you need a little help with that? 85 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,120 Meet some fishies! 86 00:04:55,440 --> 00:05:00,740 Oh, Dennis, thanks. 87 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:02,080 Hey, how'd you do that? 88 00:05:02,340 --> 00:05:05,240 Oh, it's just a little something I learned in the Peace Corps, Clifford. 89 00:05:05,620 --> 00:05:07,160 Don't you just love this guy? 90 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,480 Yeah. Group hug. 91 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,980 Hey, Dennis, you are so good at fixing problems. Maybe you can help me figure 92 00:05:16,980 --> 00:05:20,200 out how to perform my dancing with chickens number without my chickens. 93 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:25,180 Well, why don't you just dance with yourself? 94 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,880 Holy Toledo, that's it! 95 00:05:37,150 --> 00:05:38,350 Thank you. 96 00:05:41,490 --> 00:05:42,890 Thank 97 00:05:42,890 --> 00:05:48,870 you. 98 00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:20,040 double Gonzo. Only double? You should be seeing a lot more than that. 99 00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:25,299 Hey, 100 00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:37,480 everybody. 101 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,420 I hear there's a party over at Gonzo. 102 00:07:00,910 --> 00:07:04,370 Yeah, Charlie and Company, what is it? Oh, okay. I got today's paper. Yeah, 103 00:07:04,370 --> 00:07:04,989 yeah, yeah. 104 00:07:04,990 --> 00:07:09,110 I need a five -letter word for a small river in Mesopotamia. Over. 105 00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:12,870 Bobo, why are you bothering me with a crossword puzzle? 106 00:07:13,370 --> 00:07:14,770 I couldn't find Dennis. 107 00:07:17,410 --> 00:07:20,070 I'd give anything to switch places with Kermit right now. 108 00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:28,130 Hmm. Well, this seems to be the correct address. 109 00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:34,210 Ooh. Hi. 110 00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:35,970 Hi there. 111 00:07:36,850 --> 00:07:38,570 I'm Kermit the Frog here. 112 00:07:38,890 --> 00:07:43,090 You must be the winner of the contest, Miss Gottfried. Oh, no, I'm just 113 00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:45,310 visiting. You must be my friend. Oh, Gilbert. 114 00:07:45,770 --> 00:07:46,770 Gilbert? 115 00:08:08,810 --> 00:08:09,689 I suppose. 116 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,830 Oh, I can say underpants all I want. I can yell to the whole neighborhood. No, 117 00:08:12,830 --> 00:08:13,769 no, no. 118 00:08:13,770 --> 00:08:14,770 Underpants! 119 00:08:14,950 --> 00:08:17,170 I'm standing here in my underpants. 120 00:08:17,510 --> 00:08:22,190 Oh, I've got to show you the sculpture I made of you. Sculpture? I made a shrine 121 00:08:22,190 --> 00:08:27,750 of you. It's made out of nothing but soda crackers and lemon juice. I pray to 122 00:08:27,750 --> 00:08:28,749 every night. 123 00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:32,770 But we'll be late for dinner. Oh, we'll be late for dinner. We'll be late for 124 00:08:32,770 --> 00:08:34,429 dinner. You're a major star. 125 00:08:34,789 --> 00:08:37,890 Get that to your head. They have to bow down to you. 126 00:08:38,090 --> 00:08:39,090 What? 127 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:48,080 And that, my friends, is how you make a four -tiered mock wedding cake using 128 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,600 nothing but soda crackers and lemon juice. 129 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:52,480 Wow! 130 00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:56,260 Dennis Quinn, nothing is impossible for you. 131 00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:01,160 Yeah. Now that you showed us your special dish, we're going to show you 132 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:06,200 special dish, which was calamari, but now it's... Ta -da! 133 00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:08,379 Meatless meatballs. 134 00:09:08,860 --> 00:09:10,340 They're made from grain. Yeah. 135 00:09:13,940 --> 00:09:14,940 Not bad. 136 00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:17,920 But may I make a suggestion? 137 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:18,899 Oh, yes. 138 00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:20,020 Eat them up first? 139 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,360 Wow! Eat them up? What a great idea! 140 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:24,559 I'll be right back. 141 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:25,560 Okay, okay. 142 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,080 Thank you. 143 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:32,620 Dennis Quaid, we would just love to do a song with you, but we couldn't think of 144 00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:33,519 what to do. 145 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:38,480 Well, Pepe, it's funny. When picking a song, sometimes it just comes to you in 146 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:39,480 flash. 147 00:10:07,210 --> 00:10:08,210 This is fine. 148 00:10:08,750 --> 00:10:09,230 Feed 149 00:10:09,230 --> 00:10:16,930 me, 150 00:10:16,970 --> 00:10:17,970 baby. 151 00:10:18,790 --> 00:10:21,410 I won't eat until I can do what I want. 152 00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:22,710 Oh, man. 153 00:10:46,060 --> 00:10:50,840 Amazing entertainer. Yeah, yeah. You should host the show every week. Oh, 154 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:51,840 marvelous idea. 155 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,080 Yeah, yeah. Yes, every week. 156 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:57,180 Yeah, we can talk to Kermit. It's a crying shame. Oh, yeah. 157 00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:58,319 Say what? 158 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:02,220 I was saying to my brother, it's a crying shame the way they treat an 159 00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:06,360 like you. Am I right or am I wrong? Crying shame. I mean, a man like you 160 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:10,820 be treated with respect. Treated with respect. You come with us, and your days 161 00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:13,120 of wrestling squid are over. Over. 162 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,660 Am I right or am I wrong? Squid. 163 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:20,780 Say, say, you guys aren't from that place with Pie and Brimstone and Little 164 00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:21,719 Demons, are you? 165 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:22,760 You mean the network? 166 00:11:23,420 --> 00:11:25,400 No, no, definitely not the network. 167 00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:31,320 Clifford, Artie and I would like to welcome you to Mario Nuts, the most 168 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,260 successful puppet show on television. 169 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,820 Oh, I recognize you two. You're Artie and Marty Pipkin. 170 00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:41,630 In the flesh. So what's this all about? Hey, you know, you're a smart dresser, 171 00:11:41,630 --> 00:11:43,070 Clifford. Do you like Italian suits? 172 00:11:43,390 --> 00:11:46,590 Well, I love Italian suits. I told you he had good taste. So what's this got to 173 00:11:46,590 --> 00:11:49,010 do with... Hey, let me ask you something, Clifford. Do you like banana 174 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:53,590 I love banana bread. I told you he was a banana bread type of guy. So you guys 175 00:11:53,590 --> 00:11:55,310 asked me here because... Do you like money? 176 00:11:55,670 --> 00:11:57,710 I love money. What'd I tell you? 177 00:11:57,990 --> 00:12:00,250 Clifford, what would you say to two million dollars? 178 00:12:00,790 --> 00:12:01,790 Me? 179 00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:05,160 I'd say, how do you do, two million dollars? Do you want to live in my 180 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:10,140 I love your sense of humor, Clifford. Let us be frank. 181 00:12:10,340 --> 00:12:12,660 We think you're terrific. Am I right or am I wrong? 182 00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:16,400 Terrific. And we'd like you to come be the new host of, are you ready? 183 00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:18,620 The Mario Nuts Show. 184 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:23,900 I'm flattered by the offer, guys, but what's most important to me is to feel 185 00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:28,320 like I'm a part of a group. You know, like a member of a... A family. Am I 186 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:32,540 right? That's what we are, a family show. Of course, you know that. You've 187 00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:36,060 our program. My point being... Well, actually, I've never seen the show. 188 00:12:36,510 --> 00:12:37,550 You've never seen the show? 189 00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:40,610 Well, what have you been watching Tuesday mornings at 5 .45? 190 00:12:41,070 --> 00:12:42,310 Yeah, what are you, sleeping? 191 00:12:42,730 --> 00:12:46,890 Look, do me a favor. Just watch this tape of the Mario Nuts in action. 192 00:12:47,290 --> 00:12:48,910 Featuring two of our biggest stars. 193 00:12:49,170 --> 00:12:52,670 Lucky the Duck and Sparky the Pool Cleaner. Spin them around, Monica. 194 00:12:52,910 --> 00:12:55,090 There you go. 195 00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:56,510 Oh, 196 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,170 she's friendly. 197 00:12:59,890 --> 00:13:02,170 Hi, boys and girls. I'm Lucky Duck. 198 00:13:02,830 --> 00:13:04,510 Thank you. Thank you. 199 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,140 Gee, I wonder where Sparky is. 200 00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:08,740 Oh, here comes Sparky now. 201 00:13:37,070 --> 00:13:41,110 I think that is the most disgusting, depraved, irresponsible, and immoral 202 00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:43,110 for a television program I've ever seen. 203 00:13:43,650 --> 00:13:46,690 Oh, so we got a deal, then. Well, great. We'll see you on Monday. Monday. 204 00:13:47,510 --> 00:13:49,630 Okay, team, get ready to go to camera one. 205 00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:50,990 Where's Clifford? 206 00:13:51,370 --> 00:13:54,710 Where's Clifford? He's meant to introduce the next team. Get him on 207 00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:56,470 need Clifford now. Nigel, Nigel, Nigel, relax. 208 00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,910 What, what, what? Dennis Quaid's going to do it. 209 00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:02,750 Oh. Oh, well, in that case, can somebody fetch me a double decaf short dry 210 00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:04,190 cappuccino with a little twist? 211 00:14:04,550 --> 00:14:05,550 All we have is water. 212 00:14:06,540 --> 00:14:07,540 That'll do. 213 00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:11,400 Welcome back to Muppets Tonight. I'm Dennis Quaid, and I'm pleased to 214 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,400 this next bit. 215 00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:16,800 It's a screen test that Kermit the Frog and I did for a movie that eventually 216 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,320 became Dragonheart. 217 00:14:18,860 --> 00:14:20,000 Let's watch, shall we? 218 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:34,180 Oh, it's only some brave warrior 219 00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:37,910 will come and help us fight. The evil dragon, Frogo. 220 00:14:38,630 --> 00:14:44,090 I am sorry that I am late. There was a five -horse pileup on ye olde 221 00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:47,270 Where is the dreaded Frogo? 222 00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:52,130 I'll take a stab at it. He's in the cave. 223 00:14:52,670 --> 00:14:54,210 Thank you, Sir Sarcasm. 224 00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:57,570 Frogo, the reign of terror is over. 225 00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:00,550 I, Circumference of a Circle, shall fight you to the death. 226 00:15:00,790 --> 00:15:02,210 Oh, get over thyself. 227 00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:08,800 You don't sound like Sean Connery. Yeah, you don't sound like Jerry Lee Lewis. 228 00:15:09,220 --> 00:15:10,220 Oh, 229 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,520 impersonal. 230 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,400 Stand back, everyone. 231 00:15:17,980 --> 00:15:20,000 Hey -ho, Frodo the Dragon here. 232 00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:22,920 I am ready to face thee. 233 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:26,240 Cori's tiny. 234 00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:28,500 Why is not even as big as me boy? 235 00:15:30,090 --> 00:15:33,790 You are not as intimidating as the script led me to believe. 236 00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:37,610 Yeah, well, you see, that's because I should have come in in the foreground. I 237 00:15:37,610 --> 00:15:39,210 would have looked much bigger. I'll just do it again. 238 00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:45,230 Now I 239 00:15:45,230 --> 00:15:51,370 shall roast you alive with my fire -breathing abilities. Turn on the gas, 240 00:15:53,630 --> 00:15:56,150 Oh, goodness gracious! 241 00:15:56,530 --> 00:15:57,890 These great boys are on fire! 242 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,280 that song, kid. Two, three. 243 00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:06,580 Gee, 244 00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:17,000 I guess I was wrong. He does sound like Jerry Lee Lewis. 245 00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:25,420 You know, when I watch this show, I find myself counting the minutes until it's 246 00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:27,120 over. Really? How many are left? 247 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,420 if you look kind of green. 248 00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:45,360 You know what I'm having for dinner? What? 249 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:47,640 Frog's legs! 250 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,860 Wouldn't that be in horrible taste? 251 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:57,320 Wouldn't that be horrible? I'm sitting here with you and I'd be eating frog's 252 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:01,660 legs. It would be kind of like having dinner with the Donner Party. 253 00:17:04,420 --> 00:17:07,140 Oh, speaking of cadavers. 254 00:17:08,430 --> 00:17:11,490 Have you ever seen my book of crime scene photographs? 255 00:17:11,970 --> 00:17:17,290 No, no, not actually. Oh, I carry it around as a conversation piece. Oh, no, 256 00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:19,869 no. Here, it's called Isn't It Gross? 257 00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:22,089 It's old crime scene photographs. 258 00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:27,250 I'll show it to you while you eat. Here, look at that. Oh, here's that. Oh, he 259 00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:28,790 doesn't even look human anymore. 260 00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:33,250 Oh, look at that guy down there. Is that disgusting? 261 00:17:41,420 --> 00:17:42,420 Yo, Bobo. 262 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,539 I'm back. 263 00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:46,320 Did you miss me? Uh -huh. Delta, Delta, Niner, Niner. 264 00:17:46,980 --> 00:17:48,320 Checking your sector four here. 265 00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:50,440 I mean, knock it off. That's over with. 266 00:17:51,140 --> 00:17:52,140 Roger that. 267 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,180 How are things going on the show? 268 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,360 Oh, well, Dennis Quaid is doing great. 269 00:17:58,820 --> 00:18:01,820 You know, you guys really ought to do this show together. 270 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:06,540 You know, well, we could call it the, uh, the Dennis Quaid and Clifford Muppet 271 00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:08,580 Good Time Hour featuring Dennis Quaid. 272 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:09,840 Huh? 273 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:11,680 That's a good idea. 274 00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:16,500 Yeah, yeah. And then, uh... Jeez, what's up, Biscuit? 275 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,660 Homicide, Detective Bobo. Bobo, stop fooling around. 276 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:29,040 Have you seen Clifford? Oh, uh, well, he just went in the elevator and, uh, went 277 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,200 up to the roof. How come? 278 00:18:31,630 --> 00:18:36,630 I'm no licensed psychologist, but I would posit that he suffers from 279 00:18:36,630 --> 00:18:40,310 depression triggered by your hyper -efficient performance of his duties. 280 00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:43,030 Are you saying it's my fault? 281 00:18:43,270 --> 00:18:45,990 Oh, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey. What do I know? 282 00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:49,670 I'm a bear. I get my jollies from tipping over garbage cans, huh? 283 00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:03,940 The people I work with don't need me anymore. 284 00:19:04,140 --> 00:19:07,100 The other show I was offered was disgusting and depraved. 285 00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:12,520 I guess the only place I belong now is right here on the roof. 286 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,360 Oh, no, not that song again. 287 00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:19,760 I wish for once somebody would come up here and sing Born to Be Wild. 288 00:19:20,180 --> 00:19:27,160 When this old world starts getting me down and people are just too much 289 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,080 for me to bear. 290 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:39,060 I climb way up to the top of the stairs and all my cares just drift 291 00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:40,860 right into space. 292 00:20:20,799 --> 00:20:22,080 All right. 293 00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:26,580 Does anyone have a number two wrench? 294 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:27,960 Anybody? No. 295 00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:33,440 All right, then. Well, we'll have to use the number one rat. What? Oh, no, not 296 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,540 again. Come on down, Manny. All right. 297 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:36,800 Here we go. 298 00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:38,100 Now, bite down. 299 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,360 All right. 300 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:44,720 There. 301 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:47,440 There you go. 302 00:20:47,660 --> 00:20:48,940 Hey, it's working. 303 00:20:49,380 --> 00:20:50,820 Clifford fixed it. Yeah. 304 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,580 I'm going to be tasting bolt grease for a week. 305 00:20:56,620 --> 00:21:00,720 We're sorry we ignored you and made such a big fuss over Dennis Quaid. 306 00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:04,160 Yeah, yeah. We really care about you. 307 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,060 Hey, don't you just love this guy? 308 00:21:07,460 --> 00:21:08,460 Group hug! 309 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,960 You know, I feel good, good. 310 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,260 Hey, give me another problem to solve. 311 00:21:16,460 --> 00:21:20,060 Okay, here's one for you. There's two minutes left to go in the show and 312 00:21:20,060 --> 00:21:21,780 nobody on stage to say goodnight. 313 00:21:22,140 --> 00:21:23,220 Consider it done. 314 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,240 Okay. 315 00:21:28,340 --> 00:21:30,000 I wonder where Dennis went. 316 00:21:31,060 --> 00:21:34,060 Dennis, do you like Italian suits? 317 00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:35,360 High quality suits. 318 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:40,040 Look, I'm telling you one more time. I am not doing your stupid puppet show. 319 00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:41,540 Stupid puppet show. 320 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:47,600 Excuse me, excuse me. Yeah, you look like a banana bread kind of guy. 321 00:21:47,860 --> 00:21:50,820 Oh, well, actually, I'm more of a bubble type of a guy. Let me show you. 322 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,040 Oh, look at that. 323 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:55,440 A little family. 324 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,560 Hey, we'd like to thank our guest star, Mr. 325 00:21:59,780 --> 00:22:01,200 Dennis Quaid. Hey! 326 00:22:01,540 --> 00:22:03,140 You can do everything. 327 00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:07,460 Oh, no, no, no, no. It was really great being here, Clifford. But, you know, I 328 00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:08,460 really can't do everything. 329 00:22:08,620 --> 00:22:12,840 Oh, man, Mr. Mike. No, no, no, no, no, no. I mean it, I mean it. Look, half the 330 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,760 things I did today, they were just lucky guesses, and the rest, blah. 331 00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:21,360 Huh. Excuse me, excuse me. I'm from the IRS. Is there a Mr. 332 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:22,740 Rizzo the Rat here? 333 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:24,800 Yeah. Mr. 334 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,040 the Rat, I need to speak to you about your 120 dependents. 335 00:22:30,540 --> 00:22:32,400 She didn't qualify after all, huh? 336 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,380 You'll never take me alive! 337 00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:37,880 Officer! Hey, hey, wait! 338 00:22:38,140 --> 00:22:39,940 Hey, hold it, you! 339 00:22:40,340 --> 00:22:41,420 You know what, Clifford? 340 00:22:41,660 --> 00:22:43,860 I think I need a break. What are you going to do? 341 00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:45,980 Well, you know my friend Greg Hall. 342 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,320 He's going to give me some flying lessons. 343 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,800 Goodness gracious, Greg Hall's a flyer? 344 00:22:53,140 --> 00:22:54,280 One, two, three. 345 00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:08,400 It's too much of a stretch. I mean, Greg Hall's a flyer? What am I thinking? 346 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,920 Dennis, take it from me. When you got something that works, you got to stick 347 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:12,920 with it, man. 348 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:38,320 you what a wonderful time I had. Well, actually, I can tell you. Here, listen. 349 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:43,140 Carmen, what a wonderful time I had, huh? Well, I have to be going now. Thank 350 00:23:43,140 --> 00:23:44,160 you. Whoa. 351 00:23:45,380 --> 00:23:46,960 Gee, my feet are stuck. 352 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:51,640 Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. I really should have told you that. You know how 353 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:56,160 in front of the Chinese theater, they have the movie star's feet in cement? 354 00:23:56,340 --> 00:23:57,940 Well, they don't have their feet in cement. 355 00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,299 What's your point? 356 00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:03,460 In front of the Chinese theater. Well, I put cement here so I can have... your 357 00:24:03,460 --> 00:24:04,780 footprints. What? 358 00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:07,960 Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. I'm stuck here, too. 359 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:09,200 Ha, ha, ha! 360 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:14,620 Let's see. We'll eventually either be rescued or we'll starve to death. Hey, 361 00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:18,280 know, just to kill the time, what do you say we sing a little song? You know, 362 00:24:18,340 --> 00:24:20,400 finicky -lee, finicky -la, the clean version. 363 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:21,960 Junkie! 364 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:51,800 Takes one to know one. 27605

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