All language subtitles for Muppets Tonight s02e05 Coolio and Don Rickles.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:03,159 Here with the came -up news break is correspondent Bernard Shaw. 2 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:04,210 Good evening. 3 00:00:04,220 --> 00:00:08,959 International financier and media mogul Ernst Stavros Grupper, chairman and CEO 4 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:13,300 of the Grupper Group, has completed a leveraged buyout of Connivore 5 00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:18,539 Grupper, the world's wealthiest one -eyed fish, was unavailable for comment 6 00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,860 to a rubber worm lodged in his throat. 7 00:00:20,861 --> 00:00:23,419 Connivore Industries, that sounds familiar. 8 00:00:23,420 --> 00:00:25,099 They own that company, you know the one. 9 00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:28,240 Oh yeah, the one that owns that TV show. What TV show is that? 10 00:00:37,770 --> 00:00:39,590 Excuse me, but who are you? 11 00:00:41,490 --> 00:00:42,540 What? 12 00:00:42,850 --> 00:00:45,290 What did you do that for? 13 00:00:46,770 --> 00:00:51,690 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's takeover, you bobblehead. 14 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,710 Now get back to the limo. 15 00:00:53,950 --> 00:00:57,770 I don't know why I made them senior executive vice presidents. 16 00:00:58,150 --> 00:00:59,200 What? 17 00:00:59,690 --> 00:01:00,740 Oh, now I remember. 18 00:01:00,741 --> 00:01:04,348 Well, gee, Mr. Grouper, let me show you around our little studio. Quiet, Frog. 19 00:01:04,349 --> 00:01:06,890 From now on, I'm in charge around here. 20 00:01:07,370 --> 00:01:12,270 And when I get done with this place, nothing will ever be the same. 21 00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:20,150 Who put this laughing gas here? 22 00:01:20,810 --> 00:01:21,860 I don't know. 23 00:01:21,970 --> 00:01:24,310 This is supposed to be a serious moment. 24 00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:26,350 And here we are laughing. 25 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:39,020 It's Muppets Tonight with our very special guests, Don Rickles and Coolio. 26 00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:48,059 If you're a human being, take a break from the race. Take a load off 27 00:01:48,060 --> 00:01:53,060 your feet, wipe the look off your face. Got a lot to do, and we do it for you. 28 00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:55,340 Everybody take a break. 29 00:01:55,660 --> 00:01:56,740 Muppets Tonight. 30 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,010 Muppets Tonight. 31 00:02:05,610 --> 00:02:06,660 But he's not! 32 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,400 Excuse me, but what are you doing to my office? 33 00:02:31,660 --> 00:02:35,759 It's not your office anymore. Now that I'm in charge, there will be lots of 34 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:39,660 changes, Virgil. My name is Kermit. That's one of the changes. 35 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,900 From now on, you will be Virgil the monkey. 36 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:44,880 But I'm not a monkey. 37 00:02:47,260 --> 00:02:50,260 Trust me, Virgil. 38 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,160 Focus groups like monkeys more than frogs. 39 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:55,700 Well, I'd have to disagree with that. 40 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:57,290 Really? 41 00:02:57,900 --> 00:03:01,880 Did you ever hear of Planet of the Frogs? Froggy say froggy do. 42 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,970 Hey, hey, we're the froggies. People say we froggy around. 43 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,800 Muppets are not hip enough for today's audience. 44 00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:14,080 Now, now, wait a minute, Grouper. We're hip. Our guest star this week is Coolio. 45 00:03:14,171 --> 00:03:15,939 That's right. 46 00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:16,839 Give it up. 47 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:19,070 Yeah, you can't get hipper than Coolio, man. 48 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,650 What kind of sketches are you going to do with him? 49 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:25,980 Well, we're taping one right now. Yeah, it's called The Two Homies of Verona. 50 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:27,300 Let's watch, shall we? 51 00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:31,680 Make haste, homie. What ho? 52 00:03:32,020 --> 00:03:36,320 A rival gang of watchers draws nigh. To the gallop by. Cover thyself. 53 00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:41,230 Joeth! 54 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:42,890 Siteth out. 55 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,840 I prithee thine essence to reveal thard whack. 56 00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:47,400 Yea, verily whack. 57 00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:51,660 This is trash. 58 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:56,899 What? There is only one way I can see to improve it, and that's not to see it at 59 00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:57,950 all. 60 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:01,840 That's much better. 61 00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:03,960 That's not very nice, Cooper. 62 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,900 No, this is not very nice. 63 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,380 We must intimidate them. 64 00:04:08,580 --> 00:04:09,630 What? 65 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,050 Enough, 66 00:04:12,531 --> 00:04:14,579 enough. 67 00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:17,399 Now I will show you what hip is. 68 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,240 Here is a trailer for a movie I'm producing. 69 00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:25,520 Let's watch, shall we? 70 00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:28,670 Thank you. 71 00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:32,760 You've seen him baked. 72 00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:35,160 Ouch. You've seen him breaded. 73 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,620 But now he's back, and he is steamed. 74 00:04:40,820 --> 00:04:46,080 John Dodd Van Clam takes on New York in Enter the Tower, Manhattan style. 75 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,560 You will see red. 76 00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:52,210 Who are you? I'm your worst enemy. 77 00:04:54,570 --> 00:05:00,790 I love you, Sean Dodd. 78 00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:03,800 I've got something here that I want to give to you. What? 79 00:05:03,990 --> 00:05:05,040 These. 80 00:05:06,050 --> 00:05:08,690 Harold, but you're not an oyster. 81 00:05:08,990 --> 00:05:11,760 Well, you're a talking pig, so let's not get technical. 82 00:05:12,210 --> 00:05:18,370 Enter the chowder Manhattan style, and you too will say, wham! 83 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,940 Thank you, Van Quam. 84 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,050 Sorry, boys. 85 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:24,330 Life's a beast. 86 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:34,100 I'd give that movie four stars. Why is that? 87 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,420 Because the two that are in it now stink. 88 00:05:38,540 --> 00:05:40,880 Hey, bartender. More Tiggs Knuckles. 89 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,260 Okay, coming right up. 90 00:05:47,150 --> 00:05:48,650 I'll just have the pickled egg. 91 00:05:48,790 --> 00:05:49,840 Okay. 92 00:05:51,130 --> 00:05:53,350 I love you to all guys. 93 00:05:54,770 --> 00:05:56,530 Poor guy cracked up. 94 00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:06,570 Hi -ho, everyone. Kermit the... I mean, Virgil the monkey here. Make the noise. 95 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,390 I love this little monkey. 96 00:06:15,180 --> 00:06:19,400 Anyway, everybody, I want to introduce you to the new owner of our station, Mr. 97 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,300 Ernst Stavros Gruper. 98 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:22,760 New owner? 99 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:28,300 No, as your new owner, I want to get to know each and every one of you by name. 100 00:06:28,620 --> 00:06:29,670 Who are you? 101 00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:31,500 Well, I'm Risotto Rat. Not anymore. 102 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:36,500 Now you're Alfred the Worm. And you, who are you? 103 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,020 I'm Bobo the Bear. Not anymore. 104 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,780 Now you're Whitley Nibbles, the television elf. 105 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,570 All right. 106 00:06:44,950 --> 00:06:49,270 And, uh, let's see, who are you? Well, uh, I'm, uh, Bob. 107 00:06:49,590 --> 00:06:55,229 And, uh, raisins come out of my ears. No, now you're Bill and bubbles come out 108 00:06:55,230 --> 00:06:56,049 of your head. 109 00:06:56,050 --> 00:06:57,150 It worked, yes. 110 00:06:58,570 --> 00:07:02,210 Wow. Now, now, now, there will be a few more changes. 111 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:07,150 Number one, yellow will now be known as the official color of naughtiness. 112 00:07:07,370 --> 00:07:11,850 Number two, I expect you all to anticipate my needs before they are 113 00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:13,380 Number three. 114 00:07:13,660 --> 00:07:17,400 Oh, very good, Alfred, my obsequious little worm. 115 00:07:19,340 --> 00:07:20,580 Hey, hey, Coolio. 116 00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:24,859 Hey, hey. You're the rapper, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We think you're the Coolio 117 00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:25,910 West. 118 00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:30,220 Just wondering if you could show us how to become a cool rapper like you. 119 00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:35,519 Yeah. Oh, so like you guys want to be bad, huh? No, no, no, no, no. We're 120 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,400 already bad. We want to be good. 121 00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:39,440 All right. 122 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,100 Let's see what you got. Bigger. 123 00:07:41,101 --> 00:07:44,099 Help me out here, man, and keep the beat. 124 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:45,300 Oh, good. Oh, that's good. 125 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,540 I'm Seymour. I'm Pet Bear. 126 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:56,800 We're two of a kind. I'm a little bit forward. And I've got a big behind. 127 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,370 Ta -da! 128 00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:05,600 First of all, never, ever, ever end a rap with ta -da. 129 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:11,300 Really. Oh, thank you. You've helped us so very much. Wait a minute. 130 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:17,180 I'm not done. Now, instead of saying, uh, I'm a little bit forward, try 131 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,120 uh, I kick flavor like Pele. 132 00:08:19,121 --> 00:08:22,099 Uh -oh, flavor, flavor. No, no, no, no. You see, I'm a prawn. 133 00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:25,679 If people think I got flavor, they're gonna dip me in cocktail sauce, okay? 134 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,799 Okay, never mind. All right, Seymour, let's take your line now. 135 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,000 I got a big behind. 136 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,460 A rapper would actually say, uh, I got back. 137 00:08:33,461 --> 00:08:34,859 Back from where? 138 00:08:34,860 --> 00:08:38,110 Oh, did you take a trip? Oh, did you take any pictures? Yeah, yeah. 139 00:08:38,670 --> 00:08:41,440 All right, all right. Look, let's not deal with the lips. 140 00:08:41,470 --> 00:08:43,049 Okay, rap is all about attitude. 141 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:44,850 It's about how you feel. 142 00:08:45,690 --> 00:08:47,190 I feel hungry. 143 00:08:47,191 --> 00:08:50,089 All right, all right. That's good. 144 00:08:50,090 --> 00:08:53,070 But how do you feel? Like, what makes you angry? 145 00:08:53,570 --> 00:08:56,370 Ah, let's see. I get angry when I don't eat. 146 00:08:56,650 --> 00:08:57,700 Okay, 147 00:08:58,370 --> 00:08:59,570 I'm sensing a thing here. 148 00:09:00,010 --> 00:09:01,970 Okay. Pepe, how do you feel? 149 00:09:01,971 --> 00:09:05,969 Well, I have these antennae, and they help me to get around by feeling things. 150 00:09:05,970 --> 00:09:07,410 No, no, no, no, no. I mean... 151 00:09:07,670 --> 00:09:08,990 How do you feel about life? 152 00:09:10,670 --> 00:09:11,730 I like life. 153 00:09:13,250 --> 00:09:14,330 Is there good cereal? 154 00:09:14,550 --> 00:09:16,410 Yes, especially the cinnamon, okay? 155 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:22,210 Cereal, that makes me hungry. Maybe we should go back to the lyrics. 156 00:09:22,610 --> 00:09:23,660 Okay. 157 00:09:24,010 --> 00:09:25,090 Number 36. 158 00:09:25,470 --> 00:09:27,730 We will be downsizing this time. 159 00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:31,850 That means I'll be firing people. 160 00:09:33,210 --> 00:09:38,769 Okay. Now, everyone, back to work. And don't forget the company. Picnic is in 161 00:09:38,770 --> 00:09:39,669 two weeks. 162 00:09:39,670 --> 00:09:42,709 Wait a minute, Mr. Grouper. You can't just tell us you're going to fire 163 00:09:42,710 --> 00:09:45,840 and then expect us to go back to work. You're destroying morale. 164 00:09:45,970 --> 00:09:47,890 Quiet. I know what to do. 165 00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:54,129 I anticipated this sadness, so I brought in my own type psychologist to boost 166 00:09:54,130 --> 00:09:56,990 morale. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. 167 00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:58,300 Dan Rickards. 168 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:02,210 Thank you so much. 169 00:10:02,940 --> 00:10:04,140 He makes me laugh. 170 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,840 How you doing, guys? 171 00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:11,870 I'm here to help all of you. Fine, doctor. I've never worked with aliens 172 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,930 Don't get so close. I don't need what you have. 173 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,440 This is supposed to boost morale? 174 00:10:18,441 --> 00:10:19,319 It's party time. 175 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,060 I feel like I've been Sigmund Freud. 176 00:10:21,061 --> 00:10:23,219 I'm going to go have a talk with Mr. Gruber. 177 00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:28,200 I tell you the truth, this is great. This guy, nap out of it, huh? 178 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:32,260 I spoke to the state hospital. You're okay. You're well. You're all happy 179 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:37,039 Happy guys. Now get out of my life. Get on with your life. Have a good time, 180 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,090 guys. Enjoy. 181 00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,230 It's America. 182 00:10:39,260 --> 00:10:41,800 We're on a wonderful time. The Muppets are back. 183 00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:44,540 Happy New Year. I need a girl. 184 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:45,880 I need anything. 185 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,940 Get me a monkey. Somebody help me. 186 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,960 I don't want to be on this. I want to go home. 187 00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:54,840 No. No. 188 00:10:58,329 --> 00:10:59,379 No. No. 189 00:10:59,930 --> 00:11:00,980 No. 190 00:11:01,650 --> 00:11:05,070 Mr. Grouper? Yes, yes, my little funky monkey. 191 00:11:05,950 --> 00:11:11,749 I am a frog. I am not a monkey. Yes, and the elephant man is a human being. What 192 00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:12,800 else is new? 193 00:11:13,350 --> 00:11:17,589 Well, I'll tell you what's new, Grouper. Just because you bought the company, it 194 00:11:17,590 --> 00:11:21,080 does not give you the right to come in here and push the Muppets around. 195 00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:25,580 What are you saying, Virgil? 196 00:11:25,581 --> 00:11:29,059 Well, I'll tell you what I'm saying, Grouper. If the Muppets can't be who the 197 00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:33,020 Muppets are, then I quit, Grouper. I quit, quit, quit. Oh, oh, oh, Virgil, 198 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:35,220 Virgil, my spunky little funky monkey. 199 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:36,490 You cannot quit. 200 00:11:36,740 --> 00:11:37,920 Oh, yeah? Why is that? 201 00:11:38,180 --> 00:11:39,320 Because you're fired! 202 00:11:41,460 --> 00:11:47,680 Who keeps leaving this laughing gas here? I don't know. 203 00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:50,140 I'm fired. Oh, dear. 204 00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:54,150 It keeps them happy. 205 00:11:59,460 --> 00:12:05,459 This is the true story of five Muppets picked to live in a house and have their 206 00:12:05,460 --> 00:12:12,199 lives taped to find out what happens when Muppets stop being polite and 207 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:15,220 start being real. The real world Muppets. 208 00:12:15,221 --> 00:12:20,399 Lately, I've been feeling a little claustrophobic, like I don't have enough 209 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,450 privacy. 210 00:12:27,860 --> 00:12:30,480 Don't mind me, Chief. I'm just playing through here. 211 00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:33,340 Hey, Bobo, get out of here, man. I'm in the tub. 212 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:36,910 Oh, I know. I'm just changing the old contact -a -roonies, you know. 213 00:12:37,660 --> 00:12:39,540 Oh, you're reading the funnies, huh? 214 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:44,159 Oh, I love Garfield. Yeah, yesterday he tricked Odie into eating an entire 215 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,210 lasagna. 216 00:12:45,211 --> 00:12:48,659 Good morning, Clifford. Oh, good morning, Bill. Bill, what do you want? 217 00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:51,480 Oh, don't mind me. I'm just here to floss my bubble hole. 218 00:12:51,481 --> 00:12:55,259 That's more than I wanted to know. Bill, Bill, look, look, in the paper there. 219 00:12:55,260 --> 00:12:56,259 What's that? What's that? 220 00:12:56,260 --> 00:12:59,320 Don't trick that dopey dog again. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 221 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:01,830 Hey, 222 00:13:01,831 --> 00:13:04,279 Clifford, could you hand me the flea dip? I'm having a lot of trouble getting 223 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,519 rid of the little guys. Well, where did you come from? 224 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:10,419 Well, if you really want to know when a mommy rat and a daddy rat love one 225 00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:11,860 another, they... Oh, 226 00:13:12,660 --> 00:13:13,840 this is so great. 227 00:13:13,841 --> 00:13:17,029 All you men getting together for a little therapy bath. 228 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:19,429 Is he for real? What essential oils are you using? 229 00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:21,660 A gunfish flea and tick death, essentially. 230 00:13:21,661 --> 00:13:25,629 You mean that stuff gets rid of ticks, too? You betcha, big guy. I'm getting in 231 00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:28,230 there, little guy. No, hey, wait a minute. Kill me now. 232 00:13:28,870 --> 00:13:33,490 This was really getting out of hand. I never have a moment alone. 233 00:13:33,830 --> 00:13:36,730 That's right. He is starting to get highly edgy. 234 00:13:37,030 --> 00:13:39,740 Will you get out of here, man? This is my confessional. 235 00:13:39,870 --> 00:13:40,970 Sorry, Mr. Edgy. 236 00:13:48,310 --> 00:13:50,170 Hey, watch it, horsey head. 237 00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:52,310 Rizzo, get out of my bed. 238 00:13:52,311 --> 00:13:56,009 But the heater's busted, and you're the only guy with an electric blanket, and I 239 00:13:56,010 --> 00:13:57,090 am freezing. Now move. 240 00:13:57,690 --> 00:13:59,430 Hey. Oh, boy, it's dark in here. 241 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,200 There's a light on the door. 242 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:02,370 Hi, guys. 243 00:14:02,371 --> 00:14:06,119 Hi, Bobo. Hey, what are you guys doing? You mind if I get in there with you? You 244 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,059 know, the heater's busted. Yeah, yeah, we know. 245 00:14:08,060 --> 00:14:09,110 Hi, fellas. 246 00:14:09,220 --> 00:14:11,700 Hiya, Bill. Hey, you know, I just couldn't sleep. 247 00:14:11,701 --> 00:14:13,759 Is it because the heater's broken? 248 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:16,410 No, it's because I have an impacted bubble in my head. 249 00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:18,300 Hey, you want to tell ghost stories? 250 00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:19,620 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 251 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:20,970 Hi, 252 00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:22,030 guys. Hi, Dorothy. 253 00:14:22,260 --> 00:14:26,039 Hi, Dorothy. Mind if I join you? I'm having a bad night. The world is dark 254 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,860 cold. Oh, well, that's because it's nighttime and the heat is busted. 255 00:14:30,140 --> 00:14:34,299 So, who wants to watch Molly Dog reruns on Lifetime? No, no, no, I got a better 256 00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:35,339 idea. What? 257 00:14:35,340 --> 00:14:42,179 205! I decided 258 00:14:42,180 --> 00:14:44,400 to take matters into my own hands. 259 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,500 Boy, Clifford, sure is nice of you to cook dinner for us tonight. 260 00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:52,120 Oh, yeah, this soup is delicious and it glows. 261 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,480 What's that unusual flavor? 262 00:14:54,740 --> 00:14:56,140 Terragon? Fennel? 263 00:14:56,141 --> 00:15:01,449 Turmeric? Nah, it's a little something I picked up from the Department of 264 00:15:01,450 --> 00:15:05,590 Defense. Whoa, looky, I can see right through my hand. 265 00:15:06,070 --> 00:15:07,120 Yeah, me too. 266 00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:15,569 Where is 267 00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:21,410 everybody? Oh, they're organizing a coup to overthrow your tyrannical regime. 268 00:15:22,090 --> 00:15:23,730 What? I mean... 269 00:15:25,481 --> 00:15:29,259 They're knitting you an eye patch cozy. 270 00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:30,500 Oh, that's nice. 271 00:15:31,020 --> 00:15:35,619 So, what can we put on the air, Nigel? I have nothing to put on the air. Do you 272 00:15:35,620 --> 00:15:38,539 understand? Nothing. I've got nothing. No crew. No, nothing. How could I 273 00:15:38,540 --> 00:15:41,250 possibly put together a show with nothing to... Oh, look. 274 00:15:41,251 --> 00:15:44,999 Here's a tape of the first time the Coolio appeared with the Muppets. Good. 275 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,200 me that. I'll do it myself. 276 00:15:54,990 --> 00:15:56,990 I didn't see you standing there. 277 00:15:57,910 --> 00:16:04,829 Did you know that Coolio made his first TV appearance with a Muppet back in 1987 278 00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:06,410 on Muppet Star Search? 279 00:16:07,450 --> 00:16:08,500 Well, I did. 280 00:16:12,170 --> 00:16:14,890 Let's roll the tape, shall we? 281 00:16:16,090 --> 00:16:18,190 Oh, that's me. 282 00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:30,620 Our next contestants are two young men who have a rather unusual name. 283 00:16:30,820 --> 00:16:34,140 They call themselves Chili Maniliki. 284 00:16:38,660 --> 00:16:39,960 I've been searching. 285 00:16:40,220 --> 00:16:41,270 Hi. 286 00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:44,720 I've been searching. 287 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,500 Don't forget my number. 288 00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:58,730 guys lip -syncing? 289 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,840 No, we ain't lip -syncing, fool. 290 00:17:00,841 --> 00:17:03,639 Yeah, don't make me come over there and smack you, Ed. 291 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,859 Relax, guys. It's only a television show. 292 00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:07,940 Man, I told you this was a stupid idea. 293 00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:09,190 Kill the music. 294 00:17:10,339 --> 00:17:13,229 Look, man, I'm not doing this anymore, man. I'm going solo. 295 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,560 What are you gonna do? You don't sing. 296 00:17:15,561 --> 00:17:19,919 Maybe I'll just talk the words in some sort of rhythmic cadence. Oh, yeah? And 297 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,240 what you gonna call it? Okay, that's a rap. 298 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,640 Rap? That's it? 299 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,180 What? You gonna call it rap? 300 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:28,450 Music? 301 00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:32,700 No. I'm going to wrap my hands around your throat for talking me into this. 302 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:40,520 All right, 303 00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:47,630 here's the deal. 304 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,400 Grupa's gotten way out of hand. 305 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:50,840 We got to get Kermit back. 306 00:17:51,060 --> 00:17:53,560 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, what are you doing here? 307 00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:55,760 I'm with you guys. 308 00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:59,030 But you work for Gruper. He's a fish gone bad. 309 00:17:59,430 --> 00:18:02,310 He may be evil, but he's got an excellent dental plan. 310 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,510 I think we should all stick together. Yes. 311 00:18:05,511 --> 00:18:06,629 All right. 312 00:18:06,630 --> 00:18:10,240 Everyone who agrees we should stand up to Gruper, take one step forward. 313 00:18:11,450 --> 00:18:17,529 Take a step back. Take a step back. All right. All right. That is unanimous. I 314 00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:21,049 just wish we could do something to help Kermit. Hey, don't worry about Kermit. 315 00:18:21,050 --> 00:18:24,529 If I know him, he's relaxed in Swampside cooking up some multi -million dollar 316 00:18:24,530 --> 00:18:26,210 deal to buy the station back, huh? 317 00:18:28,570 --> 00:18:29,620 Well, 318 00:18:29,790 --> 00:18:33,769 with your resume and experience, the only thing I have available is a 22 319 00:18:33,770 --> 00:18:35,330 -episode commitment with NBC. 320 00:18:35,970 --> 00:18:37,190 You must see TV? 321 00:18:37,510 --> 00:18:38,560 Yes. 322 00:18:38,790 --> 00:18:39,840 I'll take it. 323 00:18:40,170 --> 00:18:41,220 Sorry. 324 00:18:42,610 --> 00:18:45,470 Excuse me, I'll take one of those big network deals, too. 325 00:18:45,690 --> 00:18:47,850 Too bad all the big networks are full. 326 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,520 Well, what about the Dubba Dubba WB? 327 00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:52,920 They've already got a frog. 328 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,260 Hey, do they need a monkey? 329 00:18:57,740 --> 00:18:58,790 Next. 330 00:19:02,940 --> 00:19:04,880 Thank you. Step lively, please. 331 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:10,380 Hey, Mr. Lippet. I did what you said. 332 00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:13,280 I talked to your happy little smurf friends. 333 00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:18,209 So now give me my check, huh, so I can get back to my wife. Slow down, my bored 334 00:19:18,210 --> 00:19:22,090 and irritating friend. We still have a show to put on. You fired the frog, 335 00:19:22,190 --> 00:19:25,370 remember? Without Kermit, you don't have a show. Not true. 336 00:19:25,650 --> 00:19:29,430 I have you, I have Coolio, and I have a plane. 337 00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:37,680 It's not easy. 338 00:19:40,460 --> 00:19:42,200 and each day the color of the leaves. 339 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,960 And then... All right, that's enough singing. 340 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:47,500 This stuff isn't working. 341 00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:50,940 Sorry, Groper, sorry. No dental plan is worth this. 342 00:19:50,941 --> 00:19:54,639 I'm out of here. I've got to get a good job. They ruined my career with this 343 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:57,959 with puppets. I don't need you, you dummy. Look at you. You must have come 344 00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,460 of your mother and hit the wall. 345 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:06,719 If you walk out now, you... Now I've seen 346 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,430 everything. Good. Does that mean we can stop watching? 347 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:10,770 No! 348 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,820 Hey, bartender, didn't you used to be? 349 00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:20,090 Well, yeah, but a guy's got to work, you know. Not if he's smart, he doesn't. 350 00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:24,030 Hello, 351 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:30,539 now it's time for Muppet Dance Party with me, Grouper, and our special guest 352 00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:33,420 star of Family Matters, Steve Urkelow. 353 00:20:33,860 --> 00:20:36,780 Oh, here comes Steve Urkelow. 354 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,880 Let's muckadamia. 355 00:20:40,330 --> 00:20:41,590 Don't you mean Macarena? 356 00:20:41,970 --> 00:20:44,980 No, no, no. I couldn't afford to write. I wrote this one myself. 357 00:20:45,070 --> 00:20:47,210 Now shake your booty, Steve Urkalo. 358 00:20:48,570 --> 00:20:53,490 Did I do that? 359 00:20:53,970 --> 00:20:58,950 Yes. And if you do it again, there'll be no snacks for you, Steve Urkalo. 360 00:21:00,950 --> 00:21:02,000 Wait a minute, man. 361 00:21:02,510 --> 00:21:04,350 This Urkalo thing is stupid. 362 00:21:04,790 --> 00:21:06,770 I'm not paying you for your opinion. 363 00:21:07,030 --> 00:21:09,410 I'm out of here. What? No, no, no. No, no, no. Wait. 364 00:21:12,430 --> 00:21:13,510 You don't understand. 365 00:21:13,670 --> 00:21:17,460 Steve Urkel and my Macarena knockoff test very high in the market research. 366 00:21:17,461 --> 00:21:19,949 Yeah, yeah, well, market research don't know everything. 367 00:21:19,950 --> 00:21:23,989 The best thing for this show to do is to let me do what I do and let the Muppets 368 00:21:23,990 --> 00:21:24,869 do what they do. 369 00:21:24,870 --> 00:21:27,690 But the Muppets are not hip like you are. 370 00:21:28,450 --> 00:21:30,620 See, now, that's where you got it all wrong. 371 00:21:30,850 --> 00:21:32,650 Hip is not what you do. 372 00:21:33,210 --> 00:21:35,390 How you do it? You want to see hip? 373 00:21:35,810 --> 00:21:37,050 We'll show you hip. 374 00:21:48,199 --> 00:21:49,300 Here we go. 375 00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:51,260 One, two, three, four. 376 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,280 Get your woman on the floor. 377 00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:55,040 Gotta, gotta get up to get down. 378 00:21:55,380 --> 00:21:57,140 Gotta, gotta get up to get down. 379 00:21:57,141 --> 00:22:01,889 Everybody's so glad you're here. Studio with the flow back in your ear. This 380 00:22:01,890 --> 00:22:05,129 ain't a fantastic voice, but I'm still on the mission to see if I can get your 381 00:22:05,130 --> 00:22:09,409 attention. Now I want to drop some information, just a little additive to 382 00:22:09,410 --> 00:22:14,069 education. I live my life by the code of the four six under white M18s in the 383 00:22:14,070 --> 00:22:17,649 trunk. When I'm on the street, you gotta feel my beat. So throw your hands up if 384 00:22:17,650 --> 00:22:21,249 you're down with the seat. Double O -L -I -O, what's the flow? I'm looking for 385 00:22:21,250 --> 00:22:25,029 the party, so let them up and know. One, two, three, it's like ABC. If they're 386 00:22:25,030 --> 00:22:26,750 not, didn't say I rap for free. 387 00:22:27,210 --> 00:22:30,700 Fly, fly, but that's the past. I got something brand new for your class. 388 00:22:31,010 --> 00:22:33,010 One, two, three, four. 389 00:22:33,290 --> 00:22:35,130 Get your woman on the floor. 390 00:22:35,350 --> 00:22:36,910 Gotta, gotta get up and get down. 391 00:22:37,130 --> 00:22:39,410 Gotta, gotta get up to get down. Here we go. 392 00:22:39,650 --> 00:22:41,370 One, two, three, four. 393 00:22:41,650 --> 00:22:45,270 Get your woman on the floor. Gotta, gotta get up to get down. 394 00:22:45,510 --> 00:22:47,350 Gotta, gotta get up to get down. 395 00:22:47,351 --> 00:22:51,249 Get Seymour. Get Pepe. And though we seem wet, Pepe takes flavor like Pele. 396 00:22:51,250 --> 00:22:52,169 Seymour got bang. 397 00:22:52,170 --> 00:22:53,220 We're hip. We're hot. 398 00:22:53,221 --> 00:22:56,289 Side by side. And they're jockeying my antenna from here to Atlanta. 399 00:22:56,290 --> 00:22:58,090 Yeah. One, two, three, four. 400 00:22:58,390 --> 00:23:01,910 Get your woman on the floor. Gotta, gotta get up and get down. 401 00:23:02,170 --> 00:23:04,090 Gotta, gotta get up and get down. 402 00:23:04,290 --> 00:23:05,340 Now, somebody. 403 00:23:05,650 --> 00:23:07,230 Anybody. Everybody. 404 00:23:08,030 --> 00:23:09,080 Scream. 405 00:23:10,810 --> 00:23:11,860 Now, 406 00:23:15,170 --> 00:23:16,430 you see, spamming breath. 407 00:23:16,431 --> 00:23:17,909 That's it. 408 00:23:17,910 --> 00:23:20,750 Yeah. All right, all right. Maybe I was wrong. 409 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:26,380 The Muppets can be... All right, I order you all to go back to work. Let's go, 410 00:23:26,381 --> 00:23:26,879 let's go. 411 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:30,020 No way, no way. Only if you beg Kermit to come back. 412 00:23:30,260 --> 00:23:33,880 But I can't have him come back without proper focus group testing. 413 00:23:34,220 --> 00:23:36,080 Oh, I got your focus group all right. 414 00:23:36,380 --> 00:23:39,570 Everyone that wants Kermit to come back, take one step forward. 415 00:23:39,940 --> 00:23:43,940 All right, all right, all right. 416 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:45,730 I see your point. 417 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:47,760 Excuse me, excuse me. 418 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:49,610 Coming up, three. 419 00:24:00,830 --> 00:24:04,170 Kermit, come back now, please. 420 00:24:05,830 --> 00:24:09,530 Hey, hey, did you hear that? I got my old job back. 421 00:24:09,770 --> 00:24:13,190 Not until 8 p .m., you don't. Now dance, Virgil, dance. 422 00:24:16,710 --> 00:24:17,950 Thanks a million, fella. 423 00:24:23,020 --> 00:24:24,760 Look at you. You're all neck and eyes. 424 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,160 What happened to the rest? 425 00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:29,930 Funny nose. Pack away at a tree and you'll die. 426 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:31,530 Hey, kid. 427 00:24:31,780 --> 00:24:33,920 Huh? You work this end of the... What? 428 00:24:36,460 --> 00:24:38,390 Don't do that. I don't need that. Stop it. 429 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:39,800 I hate that. 430 00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:41,460 That's not cute. Don't do that. 431 00:24:42,140 --> 00:24:44,850 Keep it up. I'll turn away. Boy, you're a homeless snake. 432 00:24:44,980 --> 00:24:47,210 Don't get so close. I don't need what you have. 433 00:24:47,860 --> 00:24:51,300 Look at your lip. I hope you suck up your gums and your teeth. Take a tap 434 00:24:51,301 --> 00:24:54,319 Get yourself some teeth, fix it up, you're gonna gum yourself to death. 435 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,399 What are you trying to do, suck on my armpit? 436 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,280 Stay out of my life. I need this. 437 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,360 I want to go home so bad. 438 00:25:00,410 --> 00:25:04,960 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34869

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.