Original subtitles

Previously on Forgive Me.

Coming in here, I thought I would feel condemned.

This is where you come to get uncondemned.

You got some girl knocked up that he didn't even

know well enough to know that she was knocked up.

♪ Our familia

♪ Our familia

♪ Our familia

Did I wake you?

I think so.

I said forgive me Father for I have sinned.

It's been three days since my last confession.

I don't recognize you.

Are you visiting?

Yeah, I'm new to the neighborhood.

Welcome.

Thank you.

Where are you from?

Uh, abouts around.

Seems nice here.

It is.

The schools are both very good.

Do you have children?

- Uh, no.

Are you married?

Do you have any family here?

No, I'm divorced.

I moved here alone.

It can be very hard to meet new people.

We have social events a couple of times a month.

We've got games night.

Bingo?

Yeah, pretty much.

I don't know, I'm not really the bingo type, Father.

Does that feel strange,

to be called Father?

It feels strange to call a young man, Father.

No.

I don't really think of it that way.

I don't see myself as a parent.

And Father can mean a lot of things.

Well, what's on your mind?

What should I call you?

It's fine, you know.

You don't have to tell me your name.

Smith.

Mr. Smith?

Just Smith.

What did you come in today for?

What did you want to confess?

Nothing.

I've done nothing.

Well good for you.

No foul language?

No I have not cursed or taken the Lord's name

in vain, no.

That is very rare.

What about thoughts?

Well, what's, what's your position on thoughts.

Are thoughts a sin?

Well, I was taught that they are, some of them.

Why don't you discuss your thoughts

if they're troubling you?

I thought I could move away from them.

Is that why you moved here because you

wanted to get away from your thoughts?

From temptation, Father.

From the temptation to act on them.

All right, look, I can tell that this

is very difficult for you.

But there is no sin that can't be--

I'm not saying it's a sin.

You get that?

It's a thought.

Who are you moving away from?

Who?

I mean, unless your sin is gluttony,

it usually involves another person.

The woman next door to where I used to live.

She's uh, she's bad news for me.

She tempted you?

She accused me.

She read my thoughts.

It used to get you burned at the stake.

Guess she didn't, you know, she surmised.

What was it that she accused you of?

Lusting.

And?

She was right?

I mean, Smith, it's not,

it's not out of the ordinary, right?

I mean for a man to be attracted to a woman.

You're a single man.

I repented for that.

I'm sorry, for which?

The divorce.

Why did you divorce?

I guess she could read my mind too.

What are these bad thoughts?

Mm.

I think bad thoughts all the time.

All the time.

Are you thinking bad thoughts right now?

Mm-hmm.

Right now?

Yeah.

Tell me.

Okay.

Uh, I was picturing you

on the ground with my shoe on your neck

holding you down.

I had pee on you.

That's just a flash.

It's not just you.

It's just stuff, it's how I think.

You have thoughts of hurting people,

sexual violence.

Is it sexual?

Peeing on me?

Yeah, is that sexual?

Is it not?

I don't know.

Maybe it's sexual for you.

No.

Okay.

No, no.

Okay.

Look, why would you want to hurt me?

I wish I knew.

That's just, just the way that I think.

I try to think of other things.

And I would never do it.

I would never do that,

to anyone.

I've never done it.

But I have...

I've thought about it.

I've imagined it many times.

Well, maybe,

maybe these are primal thoughts, you know.

I'm a threat to you.

How are you a threat to me?

Well, I'm another man.

And you're in my house.

I have something you want.

You want to take it away from me.

Well, what do you have that I want, Father?

Absolution.

Bit of a Catch-22 isn't it?

Yeah.

It is.

You're not gonna be able to beat forgiveness outta me.

Maybe you shouldn't take it too literally.

I'm plagued by horrible thoughts.

That's what I'm telling you.

Yeah, I understand.

I wanna beat the traffic cop, the toll booth taker,

the construction crew.

All men?

No.

Women too?

Uh-huh.

Is it, is that what your neighbor accused you of?

Wanting to hurt her?

Was she right?

I wanted to kill her.

Why?

She had something I wanted.

Okay, what was it?

Does it matter?

Well did you do something to her?

No.

I never act on it, I just, I just think.

Okay, you must have done something, right?

She didn't read your thoughts, but she knew.

I was right next door.

She saw me looking.

Like she saw you looking inappropriately when she

thought she was alone or what? - No, she was out on...

She was out on the front lawn in the open.

I'm not a peeping Tom.

Maybe she got a, like a bad vibe.

Bad vibe, huh?

That sums it up.

Well, what was the thing?

What thing?

That thing that she had that you wanted.

She didn't have anything that I wanted.

Smith, you just told me she did.

She had a daughter.

That's what you wanted?

Yes.

And she knew?

She was protecting her daughter when she accused you.

But I don't act on it.

How old is the daughter?

I would never act on it.

How old is the daughter?

Does it matter?

If it's just a thought it doesn't matter.

Well, I mean, I think that it matters

in determining how big of a sin it is.

Oh, so it's a moral sin to think now?

Well, no.

That's not what I'm saying, okay?

I'm just, I'm just trying to help you.

How can you help me?

You can absolve me.

But I can only absolve you if I know the sin.

Look, you came here.

You came here to me and I am dragging this out of you.

Your so called confession.

She's 11 years old.

Your neighbor accused you of lusting after

her 11-year old daughter?

Did you move away because she was right?

How many hail Mary's is that?

This is a very sinful impulse.

So, impulse is a sin now.

Well, this one I'm gonna go with, yeah.

What's my penance?

What do I do?

What's my penance?

I don't know but I don't think that saying

some hail Mary's is gonna be the solution.

It hasn't helped so far.

I think you should talk to someone.

I'm talking, to God through you.

Yes, sure and that's essential to your spiritual

well-being, but Smith, we're talking about your mental

health, your sexual health.

No.

I'm not going to a psychotherapist.

I think that they can help you in ways that I can't.

I can't talk to a doctor about this.

Well, why would you be willing to talk to a priest

and not a doctor?

Priests are free.

I've talked to a psychiatrist enough.

They just wanna talk about behaviors.

They wanna talk about how my thoughts

influence behaviors but it doesn't.

You don't think this influences your behavior?

I don't do it.

And are you sure that you won't?

Everybody has thoughts.

Not everybody has these thoughts.

Are you sure?

People come in here and they tell me

a lot of things.

They unburden dark, ugly parts of themselves,

but this situation is not common.

Mm.

You're telling me it's not common.

You get people that come in here and say

I hit my wife, I lied to my Mother.

I lied for my husband, I punched my kid.

I went too far.

They tell you what they did.

They don't tell you what they thought.

What about you?

What about your thoughts?

I think you know my thoughts.

I don't know anything about your thoughts.

Go see a therapist, it's not a thought.

It's a trained response, it's something you say

to someone who has a problem you can't fix.

But I didn't come here to get fixed.

I came here to be absolved.

You...

I came here to be absolved of my unpure thoughts

and you just keep poking.

You're poking at me,

for the details.

I just want to be forgiven.

You just wanna know exactly what I'm thinking.

She wears little felt shorts.

Terry cloth shorts, I guess.

Who, the girl?

Jessica, her name is Jessica.

Jess, she wears terry cloth shorts.

You think that she dresses provocatively?

No, I don't think she dresses prov-, she's a little girl.

She plays in the front lawn.

She gets filthy.

Her mother puts her in these terry cloth shorts.

And they're cheap, she, she's not a tramp.

She's not a harlot, she's not a nymphet.

She's a little girl making mud pies.

She, they don't have money so she,

she makes pies out of mud and she puts

them in a toy oven.

She doesn't eat them.

She's not stupid.

She just has...

She has imagination.

She doesn't care.

She doesn't care if I look at her.

She doesn't care if she touches herself,

you know, plays with herself in her shorts.

She used to, she...

She's changing.

That's what I like, the changing.

She used to not mind I watched at her play,

neither did her mother.

It's all right to watch a four-year old

or a six-year old play.

The hair changes.

And her legs, her arms.

It's getting darker.

You can see it now from far away.

She's gonna be hairy.

I think of taking her inside.

I think she should be had now

before, before she changes.

Before she grows hair?

Before she grows self conscious.

Before she doesn't wanna be looked at.

Before she cares if I watch her

play with herself.

I think that's happened already.

Yeah, it has.

But I thought, there's still time.

There's still time to have her fully.

To be inside her while she could completely

enjoy it, just let go physically

and feel every sensation.

Not think, does he love me?

Am I worth anything?

Will he call me?

She would just feel me.

Fill up inside.

I would touch every inch of her skin.

And I wouldn't have to worry about her thinking

those thoughts, you know.

She would be afraid.

No, no.

Well, maybe she wouldn't be in your fantasy,

but in real life she would be.

She would be afraid.

Well, it wouldn't happen in real life,

so real life doesn't matter.

But you thought that it might happen in real life.

- No. - You thought it might happen

enough in real life that you're here

and you're confessing.

No, her mother thought it might happen

in real life, not me.

And her mother got that from what,

reading your thoughts?

Yeah, mostly.

Mostly.

What else?

Nothing.

I mean, she likes me, Jess.

She's, she's always known me.

I'm nice to her.

Nicer than that fucking had of a mother.

And so sometimes she hugs me and her mother

doesn't like it.

Her mother doesn't like when you hug her daughter.

Her mother doesn't like when her daughter hugs me.

I never instigated, ever.

I mean, you know, maybe sometimes I might put my hands out

but she's a real hugger.

You're not understanding.

Her mother doesn't like the way that you--

Her mother doesn't like how long I hold her.

Not the way, how long.

She doesn't like my face.

She says that I make a face when we hug.

I close my eyes.

There's no face.

She says I look relieved during the hugs.

This is a disorder.

Hugging is a disorder now.

This is what we've come to.

No, your thoughts are a disorder.

My thoughts would be a disorder if I acted on them.

Thinking those thoughts, having them is a sin.

I don't think that I can absolve you of this.

Your spirit is not going to be healed as long

as your mind is sick.

What the fuck?

There, absolve me of that.

Yeah, I do not swear and I will ask forgiveness

for that, that you can absolve.

[Priest It's not Enough.

Not for me to forgive you of this.

You need to go and seek some help to conquer your demon.

You cannot tell me that my faith is not enough

to guide me and to help me.

Your faith--

You can do your job.

- Your faith. - Do you job.

Your faith is an important part of your healing

process but my job is to counsel you on your spiritual

well-being, that's what I'm doing.

You need to forgive me.

Look, Smith, you can't just walk into a confessional

and tell me that you're a pedophile and then

bada boom, God's just going to forgive you.

Okay, that's not the way that it works.

It does work that way.

You think this is my first kick at the can, Father?

No, it does work that way.

You do penance, you're forgiven.

Even if you've done something, which I have not done.

No, you did.

You did do something. - No.

- You did, you touched her. - I did not.

I have not touched her.

If you touched her, you hugged her, you touched her.

No, she touched me.

She did.

She felt me, excited.

And she touched me there.

And her mother saw that.

Her mother saw my face.

Well, you were right to move away.

That's something.

Now you wish to come back to God.

I never left God.

God is why I'm here.

God is why I moved here.

God is why I don't do any of these things.

An act of contrition.

Repeat after me.

Oh my, God.

Oh my, God.

I am heartily sorry for having offended thee.

And I detest my sins.

Cause I fear the loss of Heaven and I dread

the pains of hell.

Cause I fear the loss of Heaven and I dread

the pains of hell.

And mostly I'm sorry for having offended you, my God.

You're so good.

You're so good.

And deserving of all of my love.

With the help of your grace.

I resolved to confess my sins.

To do penance.

And to amend my life.

Amen.

I still want you to see a doctor.

God's not going to let me hurt anybody.

May the Lord, Jesus Christ bless and absolve you.

And by his authority, I absolve you of every

bond of excommunication and interdict so far

as my power allows and your needs require.

There upon I absolve you of your sins,

in the name of the Father, and of the Son,

and of the Holy Spirit.

In 1965, my basketball team won the New York...

♪ Six months is far too long to sleep

♪ Though peacefully

♪ Little bird

♪ I ran to check on every breath

♪ And though the rise and fall had stopped

♪ And almost broke those hollow bones

♪ I found you keening

Goodnight.

Sorry, didn't mean to scare you.

♪ Make yourself fall down from the ground

♪ From the floor

♪ Little bird

♪ Okay

♪ Little bird there is a word

♪ To help you out from underneath

♪ It is a warning

♪ Little bird

♪ It is a warning

♪ Warning

♪ It is a warning

♪ Warning

♪ It is a warning

♪ Warning

♪ It is a warning

♪ Warning

Next time on Forgive Me.

The point of being forgiven by God

is so that you can forgive yourself.

Is that why I'm here, to forgive myself?

Are you afraid of going to hell?

I don't know.

But, I am here to forgive myself.

I think you''re right.

This is my friend, Noel.

Hi.

I just need to know what my options are.

I need to know if I have any options.