Original subtitles

Previously on Forgive Me.

What is it?

The thing that's killing me

is not a sin this time.

And there is no sin I can commit to save myself

or I would, believe me.

You deprived your child of a father.

Took away my chance at being happy.

♪ Ava Maria

♪ Ava Maria

♪ Ava Maria

♪ Ava Maria

What do you want?

Titibelle, come on.

Look, will you just go tell Victoria that I'm here, please?

No.

She came to see me.

Well she's gone now.

That's fine, I can wait.

I don't know if she's coming back.

What, like at all?

What about ah...

Noelle is here.

Oh.

Hi, Noelle.

Do you know who I am?

I'm your mother's priest.

You likin' your school here?

And you like livin' with Titibelle.

Noelle did very good on her placement test

and they're gonna move her up a grade in school.

That's awesome.

It's 'cause I practically missed a year.

How come?

Because we didn't live anywhere.

She's smart.

Gets it from my side of the family.

Mmm, no doubt.

Are you gonna be staying here?

Is she gonna be staying here?

This doesn't look like a permanent situation, does it?

Have you heard from your mother?

I don't have a phone.

What do you expect her to do?

But you do like it here.

You like it at your school, you like Halifax and--

Don't mess this up for me.

Whatever social workers, lawyers, judges.

Whatever you think you're gonna do, just don't.

I'm not gonna report ya.

Hey, I promise, okay?

I'm not gonna report ya to anybody.

I was just thinkin' maybe we could

become friends, hang out or somethin'.

Is that cool?

Oh, 'cause I want to be the coolest girl at school.

It's every once in awhile it's,

it's what your mother wants.

Why should I care what she wants?

I don't know.

But you do, don't ya?

Like really, we could just go see a movie or somethin'.

I don't even have to wear this thing.

Check it, it's a clip on.

Yeah, 'cause you're so hot without the collar.

Don't you talk to a pries like that.

Don't talk to anyone like that.

I didn't even like it before,

but now I can't get enough of it.

Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it.

And then boom, there I am.

I'm addicted to it.

Sometimes I won't even brush my teeth after.

Yeah, so when I go to bed I can

dream about eatin' pussy.

All right.

Maybe just don't use such vulgar language, right?

Just use the proper words.

Father, I don't even know what the proper words are.

Well, it's not, it's not the act

that's the sin, right?

It's the fact that you're not eating your wife.

Oh, I'm eatin' the wrong pussy.

That's what you're sayin'.

Sure.

Could you do this with your wife instead?

Uh, Carlata, no.

No.

It's like seafood.

Evered, I think this is more of an emotional issue

than a matter of taste.

Who is this woman to you?

Where do you see her?

Maybe you could avoid her.

Is it somebody with--

It's your grammy.

Hey.

Hi.

I need to talk to you for a minute, please.

Fine.

Flaviana, would you excuse us for a minute?

Merv could use a damp cloth.

Thank you.

Are you havin' sex with Evered Sosa?

Yeah.

Ugh.

What?

You want me to confess?

No thank you.

I've had more than enough of the details for today.

He confessed to you?

What an idiot.

You shouldn't even be out having sex.

How do you think I got to be a grandmother?

The vagina's not a one-way tunnel.

Don't.

Don't do that.

I already know about your...

Have some coffee.

What about Poppy?

I'm not gonna divorce him.

So I cheat.

We're not...

What is that word people use?

Mum, mum,

it starts with an M.

What, monogamous?

Monogamous, we're not monogamous,

your grandfather and I.

You're cruel.

I'll confess to Father Phil.

No, please don't confess it to my boss.

You have any idea how that's gonna reflect on me?

Did you think about that at all?

I don't think about you when I'm having

sex with Evered.

Well, God knows.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

I cheated on a test in college.

Another girl let me copy two answers from her paper.

She saw me struggling and she just held it up.

So I copied them.

And then I won a prize.

The highest score in the province.

I never told anyone.

I think it was one of the worst things

that I ever did.

Not the cheating.

The cheating was actually innocent.

Well, not that cheating is innocent.

But she held up her paper.

I wanted to be liked.

I wanted to bond with someone, make a friend.

That's why I copied her answers.

Well, maybe that's why she held them up.

But the worst sin was to accept the prize.

Some other person deserved it

and it would've meant something to them.

But you only copied two answers.

Yes.

Then you were smart or you were very studious.

So you might have won anyway.

All the more sin that I cheated.

Well, sure, but you didn't take the prize

away from anybody else.

You took away from your enjoyment of it,

you took away from your own self-esteem,

but you cheated when you didn't have to.

Hmm.

The only person you wronged was you.

I thought coming in here,

I thought I would feel condemned.

Well, this is where you come to get uncondemned.

Hello?

Hello.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

It's been three months since my last confession.

Okay.

Okay, what, cocksucker?

Okay, I'm ready to hear your sins.

You seem kinda...

Pissed?

Yeah.

Yes.

I should've waited.

I'm not mad at you.

Maybe I can help.

My folks have just told me that

I'm about to commit a huge sin.

What sin is that?

Becoming pregnant.

Using in-vitro, using a donor.

Those are sins, yeah.

Why?

Why are they sins?

What did Jesus ever say about in-vitro fertilization?

Well, nothin'.

But I guess you could think of them as

indirect sins.

The Scripture tells us that children are a gift.

Yeah, I want my gift.

If he wants you to have a child

within his purview, you will.

If its his will.

What you're talking about is tampering with his will,

so it's simple enough.

But it's not simple to me.

I didn't mean your feelings are simple.

I'm just saying that the church's teaching

on the issue is essentially very simple.

A lot of these things, they come back

to submitting to God's will.

And it's God's will that I have the technology

and the credit limit in order to do this.

This is obviously God's will.

I can tell you're frustrated.

Have you truly explored all the other options?

What's your husband think?

I don't have a husband.

I have a dog.

If I had a husband, I wouldn't need a donor.

Not necessarily.

Lot of couples can't have a baby.

I have eggs, but I have to use my eggs

before they're hard-boiled.

I'm runnin' out of time and I want to be a mother, okay?

I just wanna be a mother and I cannot see

how that's a sin.

Wanting to be a mother is not a sin.

Oh, but being one is.

No, no of course not.

Is there no man in your life you could commit to?

No.

Yeah, okay.

What do you want me to do?

Advertise?

Just put out a little ad?

Looking for husbands and then just pick one

like a lottery?

Would that be God's will?

I didn't say that.

There's nobody.

Yeah, there's nobody in my life right now

and certainly not in the time that I've got left.

Doctor's tell you that?

Yes.

So it'd be a risky pregnancy.

I guess.

Well, that's a lot to potentially go through alone.

But I wouldn't be alone, right?

That's the whole point.

What's your name?

Agnes.

And I come to this church.

I know, I've seen you before.

You ah, you have that large family.

You know, they're not pressuring me to get married

or to have kids.

This is really about what I need

to make me happy.

I don't think a child can make you happy.

You?

What would you know about it?

Happiness isn't something that

other people give you.

You need to have happiness already

in order to share it with a child.

Who are you to think you even know God's will?

I don't.

I don't write the doctrine.

I just explain it to Catholics.

So I'm talkin' to the middle man here.

No.

No, I am so low on the ladder I probably

got a foot on the floor.

Oh, God.

Don't you see?

I owe it to my baby to bring him into this world.

That's what I know.

You know what you know.

I know what I know.

I'm sure you do, but God's plan for you,

it doesn't include in-vitro fertilization.

I know that and you know it, too.

That's why you came here to confess it.

I came here to learn how my love

for my child, all this love that I have,

how that can be a sin.

Of course it's a sin.

A child needs a father and a mother.

Only God gives life.

No, rapists give life.

Farmers give life.

Conception is conception

and not every act of sex or rape creates life,

as I'm sure you well know.

Excuse me?

Sorry.

I really, I didn't, I didn't mean that.

I really didn't mean that the way that it sounded.

I, I just didn't imagine that you were a virgin.

Listen, I didn't mean to offend you.

I didn't, I'm sorry.

I'm not judging you.

Of course you are judging me.

I just don't know if I can raise my child

in a religion that's gonna teach him

that his very existence is sin.

Nobody thinks that.

Really, nobody teaches that.

I mean, no one's existence is a sin.

I tried to do everything the way that you wanted,

the way that my parents wanted.

I've been engaged twice.

It just doesn't work out for me

and I want to be a mother.

I don't want anything in particular for you, Agnes.

I want whatever you want for yourself.

Except to be a parent.

Of course I want that for you.

Please don't think that I'm not sympathetic.

I mean, don't you think I want those things for myself?

No.

No?

Well no, you're a priest.

I mean, you made the choice to be a priest,

which means you chose not to be a husband

and not to have kids.

You think I didn't want to be a father?

I accepted it because it's God's will.

But this is your sin, Agnes.

It's not your baby's soul I'm concerned about today.

You are the one defying God.

I'm not defying God.

I'm defying you people.

You judgers, interpreters of the Bible.

You're controllers of women's bodies.

You're who I'm defying.

The last one's not in my job description,

though it does sound very nice.

Don't be a dick.

I came to my church because I expected support.

And you can.

I can what?

You can come to this church for support.

Oh my God.

It's not supportive of your plan,

it's supportive of you.

You think I don't understand you?

All right.

Anything else then?

What you mean anything else?

That's all you've got to say?

Well, you've got a plan in mind.

I mean, you've obviously made up your mind,

so I don't really think it matters what I say.

Yeah, yeah, I thought it did, but you're right.

Fine.

So you haven't done it yet, I'm sorry,

but I can't absolve you for something in advance, so.

Anything else?

You're kickin' me out.

No.

It feels like you're kicking me out.

I'm not kicking you out.

I'm just asking you for your confession.

No, I don't wanna confess, I'm good, thanks.

Okay.

Well, good luck with it.

I have a real life, Father.

You think it's easy?

Tryin' to take all these rules, all these decisions,

that just come down from Rome on high,

tryin' to apply that to my life?

Tryin' to apply that to my work-a-holic

middle-aged, mortgaged, over-educated life?

You think that's easy?

God, it must be nice for you.

Tucked away inside this--

Why don't you just think about

what you're saying for a second, huh?

My life is just as real as yours.

You think that I made less concessions

in my life to accommodate Christ?

That I never thought about what it might

be like to have a family,

to have somebody to care about.

I'm sorry.

I'll pray for you.

I will.

I'll pray that God gives you what you want.

Just please go.

Sorry.

You know, it should tell you something

when all your dreams are martyrs

and you don't have to be Freud.

I don't think that I'm a martyr.

You're thinking what you have

to give up to serve God.

Does it get easier?

I don't know.

For me it was easier when I was young.

I had a lot of conviction.

The big doubts came later.

I would say if you're not sure now,

then I'd hate to see you mistake

desire to help people with calling.

Is it sex?

There are some tricks to quell that one.

No.

Confessions are easier to hear than to make.

I learned something about myself recently.

Something that maybe changes things.

You know,

it's not uncommon for

a young man to

turn to the priesthood

to run away from who he is.

The sinful feelings that you want to

push aside and run away from.

In my opinion, they're not the worst thing.

I mean, if you don't act on those impulses,

just the same as any clergy doesn't act

on those impulses.

I'd like to think that in my time

I've known a couple of very good priests

of your persuasion.

I don't think it precludes a life in,

I mean, we all have to master our animal.

I'm not gay.

I don't think I'm gay.

There's a kid.

Please don't tell me.

No, no, no, it's not,

it's not that.

I'm sorry.

My mind shouldn't go there.

Sign of the times, I guess.

The kid is my kid.

I recently found out that I have a daughter.

You got some girl knocked up

that you didn't even know well enough

to know that she was knocked up?

I knew.

I thought she got rid of it.

She told me she got rid of it.

I never saw her again.

So you have a child with a woman you barely know.

Well, that is a problem.

I think Noelle would be better off here.

You were always so difficult.

I was difficult?

Gram, Christopher stole a car.

I mean, Liam sold ecstasy in high school.

I knew how to deal with that bullshit.

There was plenty of literature around.

But you.

You were always so smart.

You could've done anything.

And you chose to be a priest,

I figure, well, his heart is even bigger than his brain.

And now this.

I need your help.

You've had enough of my help.

For 10 years your mother fought to keep

you and your brothers alive.

And she dropped you off here,

she couldn't fight anymore.

What's your excuse?

I can't bring a kid into that rectory.

I can't.

I don't have any money for an apartment.

Ask for a raise.

That's what people do.

I need time.

Okay, it's not good for her where she is.

She's with her cousin.

That's family.

Gram, she's sleeping on a couch.

They're not even Catholic.

I didn't raise you to be selfish.

Or to put your job before your kids.

It's not a job.

This is my life.

Your grandfather can't eat, talk,

or go to the bathroom.

A kid doesn't belong in this place.

It's your own God damn mess.

Clean it up.

♪ Oh shit this ain't a ham and cheese

♪ It's Croque Monsieur

♪ Promoting dope, coast-to-coast

♪ Like a pot-sticker

♪ How could I not give her

♪ What am I, chopped liver

♪ Don't think it's hot

♪ I don't buy it, like a shoplifter

♪ Lyrical Croque Monsieur

♪ Making you plot thicker

♪ Promoting dope, coast-to-coast

♪ Like a pot-sticker

♪ How could I not give her

♪ What am I, chopped liver

♪ Don't think it's hot

♪ I don't buy it, like a shoplifter

♪ It wasn't sandwich

♪ Like my sandwich ain't a sandwich

♪ Without the word

♪ The word goes all

♪ My sandwich ain't a sandwich without

Next time on Forgive Me.

It's not enough not for me not to forgive you of this.

You need to go and seek some help

to conquer your demon.

You cannot tell me that my faith is not enough.

Your faith?

You can do your job.

Do your job.