Original subtitles

You don't know what

Get the fuck out of here.

What the fuck are you doing?

You don't move, I'm going to fuck you in the ass right here. Go.

Go. Go.

Get in the pool.

Get in the fucking pool.

Go.

Don't anybody move or breathe unless I tell you to.

Way downtown.

Bang.

I'm in.

Pete, you alright?

You got him, Pete.

You have a drink?

Hey,

it's me.

Hi, how is it?

It's amazing.

When did you see this place?

How's Anaheim?

Whatever.

Hey, I got your present. It's great.

I have to hit it a million times before it lights.

Well, it's an antique.

So, did you like the engraving?

Kind of sappy.

Yeah, but deep down inside, you know you like the sappy.

Among other things.

So what flight are you working?

Oh, 211. Oh, party plane to the Mexican coast, huh? Don't even go there.

Look, I'm really looking forward to this weekend.

I hope we can work everything out.

I hope so.

I love you.

Put the champagne on ice, and I'll see you in a couple of hours, okay?

Bye.

It looks like it's going to rain.

I hate rain.

Come on, let's go.

Oh, God.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I think I'll be okay.

Hang on just a second.

The stewardess is afraid to fly.

Can I help you? There should be four electronic tickets on the dirty shaves.

Okay.

You're going to have to check all those bags. Those are too big for carry -on.

That'll be wonderful.

Thank you.

Mm -hmm.

Take care of my bag, right? I got it.

Gentlemen, I have your refreshments.

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Um, no weather delays today, got it?

Oh, tell me.

Zach is meeting you for the weekend.

Yep. Oh, cool, cool.

I like Zach.

Yeah. Well, we're going to give it another shot.

Good. Now, when you get down there.

Do something new. Maybe go scuba diving.

Beautiful reefs. The wife and I do it all the time. Put some excitement into

relationship.

Can I get you something to drink? Can we get margaritas?

Of course. I'll make you one especially.

Hey, Singapore slings. Can you make those?

The Singapore sling was invented in 1915.

Raffles Hotel in Singapore.

I'm the champion.

That's all I need to say. Thank you very much.

You the man.

Give me some love, baby. Give me some love. Another 50 points. Way to go,

Yeah,

I won the Fun Sun Trivia Bowl, so we're all going to Acapulco and everything's

paid for.

Wow. Brian Bigham, I am the champion.

Anyone ask me anything?

Anyone.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Let's see.

What's the average altitude of most commercial flights?

Average altitude of most commercial flights, 35 ,000 feet.

I am the champion. Yes!

Why do I get the feeling this is going to be one of those flights?

How's the book?

Good.

So what do you do?

I'm a nurse. You're a very philanthropic profession. I know a little bit about

medical because I'm a lawyer. I used to do malpractice, malfeasance, just in

rentals.

Hey, you.

Something to drink, sir?

I'd like a martini, please, made with your top -shelf vodka. Very dry. Just a

way to remove the bottle over it. And another one for the young lady over

Oh, thank you. No, it's not a problem. It's their job.

She'll have a sec.

Excuse me.

Can I have a bag, please?

Absolutely. Here you go, sir.

Thank you.

Is that all right?

I take it you took the short bus to school, my friend.

Pete.

Can I get you anything, sir? Something to... I'm absolutely fine, thanks.

Okay. How about you, sir?

You got a shot of wheatgrass?

No, we don't have anything like that on the plane. It's okay.

Hey!

Something to drink, sir?

Yeah. You got any bourbon?

Sure.

It's all right, everyone.

This is absolutely normal.

Everything's fine.

No problem.

You. Yeah?

Smoking in the bathroom?

What?

You were smoking in the bathroom?

Yeah.

I always like to have a cigarette after I cum, you know?

Well, then I guess you're aware that it's a federal offense with a $3 ,000

Really?

And that you put every single one of these passengers in jeopardy.

I'm sorry.

You know, it's my job to report you to the authorities when we land, and I'm

going to. Don't.

What?

You're making me think about doing something.

Get off me!

Don't look at her.

Hey!

Can't believe your ass.

Good help really is hard to find, Max.

Listen, I need you conscious for this.

Flight 211, please be informed that the storm has entered your flight path. We

recommend that you... Uh, we're going to be going through that ground control.

Over.

on that. Storm has been upgraded to severe, so you must turn back.

Roger that, Ground Control.

Over.

It's that bad, Jerry? We have to turn around?

Afraid so. Sorry about that.

Well, you heard him, Zoldy. Let's turn around.

You got it.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

As you know, we've been flying through the storm, and as you can see, it's been

getting worse.

But we are returning to Anaheim.

and put your seatbelt on, please.

Everything is fine, but sir, you need to sit down. Sit down and put your

seatbelt on.

Okay? Everything is fine. Put your seat... Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm sorry to say that you heard your captain correctly and we are turning

around. Come on.

Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts and raise your seats to

the full and upright position.

Come on. It's never won anything in my life.

away, bitch.

Move it!

Shut up. Keep on your fight path, motherfucker.

Give me that!

Back to your seat.

Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, nobody better fucking move!

hands in front of your mouth, fucking shut up! All you gotta do is fly, all

right? We've come way too far. All right, script.

Flight 211, my radar shows that you're still on your route, of course.

Turnaround complete, ground control.

Negative light. Look, it's too dangerous. Look at these readings. We're

lose altitude any second now.

There's only one reading you need to concern yourself with, motherfucker.

All right, everybody. I think we know how this goes.

You stay nice and calm, and you'll have a great story to tell to Kenny.

However, my friends all over here would like nothing better than to blow one of

your motherfucking heads off.

Okay? Got it?

Blondie?

Blondie, come here.

Come here. Don't move or he'll fucking come and get you. Come on, let's go.

Let's fucking go right now.

Move, you sweetheart.

Don't make me tell you twice.

You too. Inside.

Got it?

Shut your fucking ass!

I'll keep him quiet.

Shut your fucking ass.

I don't want to die. You're not going to fucking die. You're not going to

fucking die. Sean, be quiet, bro. Shut the fuck up.

Say one more thing.

Say one more thing. Oh, no.

Sean, shut him up.

Sean,

shut up, dude.

Say one more thing.

I don't want to die. No. Please.

Sean,

what the fuck is going on?

Get your fucking -

What should I do, man?

I don't know!

Get those people back there!

You'll be all right, man.

You got a problem.

You're okay.

We're all right.

We're all right. We have to get out. We have to get everybody out of here.

Go on.

We gotta get these people out.

Here.

I'm dead.

I'm dead.

No, you're okay.

You're not dead.

You're okay.

Let me help you. You're moving your

hands. You're okay, okay? Let me get you out of here. I need your help. Sir, I

need your help.

Quit. Come on.

God, she's hurt really badly.

I'm cold.

I'm cold.

Hey, how's he doing? We need a medivac.

Julie, go over and get him. He's in shock.

Get him over here and keep him parked.

Oh, we're fucked.

No, man, we're not fucked.

Damages and liability.

We're talking about a large cash settlement here. Shut the fuck up and

attention to all of you.

Here's the deal.

Your lives or your labor are headed towards the village of Santa Cristo.

We've got only two days to get there. Now, how far are we from Acapulco? I

know.

I don't know.

Maybe about 50 miles northeast of here.

Salt, Squid, take them down to the luggage compartment and get our

stuff. Right.

You, get whatever food you can salvage. Yo, Maxman, I can't find Pete, man. I

promise. Yo, man, your boyfriend is dead, okay?

Move it. Go get our stuff.

What the fuck is this?

Now go get my motherfucking stuff.

You're going to be all right.

Was I not clear?

This woman needs medical attention.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought I was clear.

Now get my motherfucking stuff.

Come on, let's go. Come on.

Don't worry about your friends. You'll be fine.

Go, Kate. Go, Kate. Go. Jay!

Jay!

Mia, in here.

What are you doing?

Who the fuck are you? Get your asses in here!

Flight recorder.

When there's a tracking signal, they'll be able to find us wherever we go.

Who the fuck are you?

Get your asses out of there!

I'm gonna hit you, Lotto!

No, no, no.

You don't understand.

I was just at the airport.

And they said it was canceled.

I'm calling you because you're the goddamn airline.

Hello?

Hello?

Goddamn!

Does anything work around here?

No, no, no, no, no. No, no.

No gracias.

Oh!

My girlfriend was on that flight.

Relax, senor, relax.

They said they've only just started searching.

Don't worry, they will find you.

It crashed.

And you, you're just sitting there.

What's wrong with you?

Get off your ass and do something.

I will appreciate you lowering your voice.

You lost a fucking plane and you want me to lower my voice?

I need the embassy.

Where's the American embassy?

Señor, control yourself.

We are doing everything we can. You don't fucking get it, do you?

My girlfriend is on that plane and it crashed.

Gentlemen.

The American Embassy.

It's 500 miles away, compadre.

How do I

get to the American

Embassy?

You don't want the American Embassy, kid.

You don't want all that red tape foreign bullshit.

What do you want as a trucker?

You know what a tracker is. A tracker is someone who finds lost things.

All right. You know somebody like that?

All right. We're going. We're moving.

Booty. Set it down right over there.

Move it. It's in here.

Concrete.

Get over there. Hey.

Keep moving, fuck. Fucking ass.

Hurry it up.

Go.

There's three more in there.

Yeah, I know, man. That's all we can get, man.

Get in there and check that shit out. What?

Yeah.

Yo, Squid, man, check this out, man. We tore his ass up.

What's wrong, man?

No.

Talk. Yo, here.

Tie her up.

Little trophy for you, baby.

All right, all right, enough.

Now here is where the real adventure begins.

Move it out.

Let's go, let's go, pick it up.

Let's go.

You, get a cane.

You.

Hey.

Who the fuck are you?

I'm Zach Fowler.

I'm sorry. I just drank too much, all right?

Yeah, I can tell.

Yeah.

Hey, wait.

Wait.

Oh, I remember you now. You're the kid from the crane plant.

Yeah. And you're supposed to be the best tracker around, huh?

What did you expect?

Lancelot? Hmm?

Wait, wait, wait.

Hey, kid.

You don't want to go to a plane crash.

Yes, I do.

Look, if there's a chance of her being alive, then I want to find it, okay?

Yeah, well, you know what people look like when you find them in a plane

Do you want the job or not?

Things like this don't come.

They're expensive.

Money is not a problem, okay? I got money.

You see?

Huh?

That's not enough to buy breakfast.

Yeah, well, her parents are loaded, too.

Okay. Her dad started an Internet company.

No, Internet.

Look, anyway, they're filthy rich, okay? It doesn't matter. She flies around the

world off of her trust fund.

All right.

This is my minimum offer.

$3 ,000.

You pay for everything, and I get to keep what I find. Fine. You got it.

Listen, kid.

I'll tell you one thing, though.

We gotta do this in a hurry, because if they went down in the swamp where I

think they went down, not too many people make it out alive, okay?

Okay.

Lights!

Okay, okay.

Fucking lights.

This water smells like ass.

That's methane.

It's the number one cause of wildfires in swampy areas.

You light that up, it goes boom.

Leave him alone, he's in shock!

That boy's brain is much worse.

Hey, he's right.

It works.

This ain't some male bonding camping trip. Now move. Hey, we're carrying this

stuff, aren't we?

Saul. You.

You want to take care of this? Yep.

No, no, no. No, no, no.

Please don't kill me. God, no. You're not going to complain, right? Yes, yes,

yes. Yes.

Yes. Carry it.

Carry it. Carry it.

Give me a nail, kid.

Smoke now, right?

Sure. This is what I thought.

The black box?

When did you get it?

Jerry pulled it from the cockpit.

So this is a black box? This is it?

Keep it down.

With this thing, they can track us.

They're probably on a plane already.

They're on their way.

No.

They wouldn't have been able to launch a full search until its weather cleared.

And then when they find the plane, they'll dredge the water around the

site first, and then they'll expand the search.

It's going to take them some time to even figure out we're missing.

Great.

What? Was there ever a better time?

Let me see this.

I'm going to be needing those.

Hey, is that alcohol?

Give it to me.

You really shouldn't mix those.

You're not doing what I think you're doing.

Yeah, I am.

What do you think she's doing?

Well, you can't use them all. I'm going to need at least five.

That's not enough.

Two.

Three. Oh.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You can't do that. That'll kill us.

They're not going to kill us anyway?

No, no, no, no. I don't want any part of this.

Count me out. I won't forget it.

It's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. Shut up!

He's got a point, doesn't he?

I don't mind living on my knees.

Why doesn't that surprise me?

Squid, you'll stay on first watch tonight. Oh, man, I'm wasted, man. Just

it to me.

You really don't have to. Look, we're not going to run away. I mean, you're in

complete control of the situation, and I respect your authority.

So, oh!

You like room service with that?

You sleep okay, okay?

Get some sleep.

Might as well go back to sleep. We're not going to be moving for a while.

I can't sleep.

Can I just keep you company for a minute?

Shh.

Reach in my front pocket.

Go ahead, my front pocket.

Go ahead.

Where'd you get that?

The plane.

Come on, untie me and we'll have a nightcap.

Why the fuck not?

Cheers.

Cheers.

So you think we're almost there?

Oh, God, I hope so.

Because I can't stand this fucking place.

I hear you.

It reminds me of when my parents used to take me camping.

Hated that, too.

Damn.

What's in those cases? They're so fucking heavy.

What do you like to know?

Here.

You don't want that?

She's strong.

Oh, yeah?

Come on, you can tell me.

It's a long story.

You got a little time?

First thing you have to...

You have to understand is that all... All

lockups...

Work on computers.

Really? Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Not always trying to... Always trying to beef them up with...

High -speed ships.

Infrared locks.

New lines of code.

And I'm saying this with all honesty.

I'm the best there is.

And my

name is Jack.

Just knock him down.

I mean, that's really all there is to it.

It's more technical than that, you know.

Yeah.

Do you... understand what I'm saying, yeah?

Of course.

Will you stay with me now, then?

Just knock them up to settle down

You're

a smart girl

Phoebe

Keep going.

Hurry up! Come on!

Get out!

I got him!

You better hope that I find them.

You go get their ass.

Where are we going?

Back to the plane.

What was that?

Move. All right.

I told you this was a bad idea. Shut up and run!

I had nothing to do with this!

This way!

No, this way. This is the way out. Come on.

Come on. I know the way.

Consider this a stay of execution, bitch.

Go!

Let's go!

Pick you up double time!

and pick up the black box signal from the amp here? No problem.

Good tracking advice of Pyle's best friend.

You know, back in 78, I used a tracking device. I had to get myself a... What

was that tracking? A one... A single -engine fly spotter.

Found out it was sunk 10 feet in the mud.

And that baby found it.

Savage on that one.

I must have cleared about 4 ,500.

Look,

if I'm paying for this, we've got to set some ground rules right now, okay?

I don't want to hear any more talk about salvage.

We're looking for people.

You got it?

Sorry.

How much farther have we got, Max?

I'll call Southwesty here, man. We're headed the wrong way.

I think we should listen to him. I think he knows what he's talking about. I

don't know if the kid knows what the fuck he's talking about, but we should

to high ground.

Shut the fuck up. For what?

Listen, I'm really trying to hold this together here, okay? But there's a

fucking crocodile in the water.

Now, my only concern, which should be your only concern, is getting these

objects from point A to point B.

Yeah, okay, Max, but we've been out here for... Shut the fuck up!

I'm tired of hearing about this motherfucking crocodile.

Take my shit to the end of the line, and I might let you live.

Else there's gonna be a trail of dead bodies.

I'm telling you, man, I can get us out of here.

Why don't you lead us, Boy Wonder?

But I'm going to tell you something.

You mislead us one time.

That's right.

Motherfucker!

I'm going to tell you there was a big talk after us. Listen, we should go

Max. We should go back. I agree with them. We should go back. Don't you

take my side!

This isn't right.

You said this was going to be an easy job. You said we were going to fly to

rendezvous point and march through a fucking jungle cruise. We got a lawyer.

got a fucking savant.

We're going to fucking plot. And I am not losing my life.

Motherfucker, you better put it together.

Now.

I have enough to worry about with these fucking motherfuckers, but not you. I

cannot lose you. You hear me, motherfucker? Because I can guarantee

thing. You keep this shit up, you will not make it out of here. I'll speak to

myself.

There it is, kid.

El Pantano Diablo.

The Devil's Swamp.

The swamp figures in the Everglades.

The natives.

They call it a sunken world where monsters live that could tear out your

and send you straight to the underworld.

What's that?

Aha! There she is.

Sit tight, kid.

We'll be there in a minute.

We're going to do the rest of the search on the ground, kid.

There's nothing here. Oh, I got folks stashed here.

We'll go upriver north by northwest.

Take us right to the sink.

What is this, kid?

What is this place?

Where I got a little bit of everything.

I don't think I want to know.

Come on, kid.

Home sweet home, boy.

Here, pull this thing out.

I'm sure you can assemble it.

This is not a good idea.

Get up!

Move!

This doesn't make any sense.

What? What doesn't make any sense?

According to this, we should be standing right on top

of it.

Mia!

Mia!

Where the hell is it?

Oh, my God.

Don't move.

Don't move a goddamn muscle.

Take a real tilt.

Don't move.

Go to the left and I'll make you hit the boat.

What the hell? Come on.

What the hell was that? Come on.

It ain't the plane's flight recorder.

It ain't the what?

It ain't the plane's flight recorder.

We haven't been tracking the plane. We've been tracking it.

Where the fuck is it going? It's going to close in on us. You see it.

Get them in the water. Go on.

Go.

One step at a time, okay?

This doesn't have to end tragic, okay?

Shut the fuck up.

I don't have a car with you guys, but you are trespassing in my squad. What

fuck do you want?

Her.

Well, I'm going to say it again and put that gun down before I get ready to

skull fuck this boy. Kill him, Saul.

No! Get back!

If anybody gets hurt, then you guys are never going to get out of here alive.

I got a jumper.

Yeah? Where is it? Two clicks east.

He's telling the truth!

If I find out you're lying, motherfucker... Cut your bullshit, okay?

I'm your only ticket out of here.

Like it or not.

Three more than you, motherfucker!

Three pieces of fucking linen!

Let me check.

The fucking jaws of death out there, man.

El Agarto Diablo.

What?

It's an old legend.

Years ago, the conquistadors, they hacked their way across the swamp.

And they were carting all the stolen gold they got from the Aztecs.

But only one of them got out alive.

He spent his last years...

screaming about some dragon creature that came out of nowhere, that walked on

land and walked on the water and tore them all to pieces.

He chopped their armor like it was just paper.

And when he was done, the swamp was consumed by fire.

Now, the Spaniards, they had never seen anything like this before.

But the natives knew.

The natives knew what it was.

They knew it was the creature that guarded the swamp against evil.

So the natives, to protect themselves, at night would chant the name,

El Legado del Diablo.

Thank you for that bit of information. It was incredibly helpful.

And relevant.

I'm sorry, Rip.

Why don't we just go outside, go bust a cat in its ass like we did the last one?

Your guns aren't going to stop this one. Quite, quite, quite.

You.

And you.

I'm going to go out there. You're going to go get that boat. You're going to

bring it back to me.

Baby, it's okay.

No, please, please.

Listen, it's getting dark.

I mean, why don't I go? I mean, I know the area.

That's actually a really good idea.

That way, when you leave here, you can just take off and not come back.

You must really think I'm an idiot.

The only one who has an incentive to come back, and a lovely incentive it is,

this one.

Besides, the only one who's going to come back anyway, as far as I see it.

The other one's just a distraction.

You mean bait, right?

Mm -hmm.

And don't try anything, because I'll be watching you from the roof, and I'm a

very, very good shot.

Crocodile Dundee, you're coming with me.

Saul. Yo.

Take our little stewardess and go out there and retrieve our valuables.

Well, I've got to go. What, I'm going to go retrieve them?

Come here.

What?

Got you, Carver. Let's go.

Here. Can I come up now?

Go get the other one.

Those cases must be pretty valuable if you're lugging them all through the

swamp.

You know, there's no way your goods and all of us are going to fit into my boat.

What's your point?

Just curious.

Just curious.

What's the range on that thing doing?

I don't know, man, but I know it works.

What does it do?

It picks up the signal from the black box.

Keep your eyes open, all right?

For what, man, the croc or the boat?

Both.

Hey, you hear that, man?

What? Did I hear what?

What? Nothing.

It's nothing.

Don't fucking do that to me. I thought I heard something.

Okay.

That's all.

You worried about your boyfriend?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Me too.

I'm sure he's all right.

And you and me, so... You all right too?

I'm, um... I'm sorry about that.

Smoking pain, you know?

Listen, I just wanted to say that I'm... Stop right there!

How do they do it like that?

You look real nice there, Mia.

Like a model.

Like an artist.

Thank you.

I can't stop watching you, Mia.

Even when I close my eyes, I can see you just as clear.

What's he do for you?

Zach? Mm -hmm.

I love Zach. I said what's he do for you?

I love Zach.

See?

You ain't never been with a real man.

Make you feel like you went around the world and back.

All right, man. Come on. Come on.

Relax.

It's okay.

Yeah, I got his ass. He ain't gonna try shit.

Come on. Come on. I know a shortcut.

Fuck. Fuck.

Goddamn, boat's deflating.

Fucker! Fuck!

Calm down.

Fucker, I ain't calm down, fucking ass.

Fucker, be the shit, motherfucker.

Never my fucking shit. Look at that motherfucking thing. I'm fucking had it.

Don't get no more on this than you.

What the fuck is your problem? What the fuck is my problem?

That's mine.

That's fucking mine!

Calm down, man. Calm down. I am calm, man. There ain't no bosses out here.

ain't no bosses out here. There ain't no more fucking orders. That's it. There

ain't no more orders. We're survival of the fittest. That's all this is. We're

in the fucking jungle. We're animals.

You're a monkey just like I am and a survival of the fucking fittest.

Come on, take your shit. Get the fuck out of here. Take it.

You go survive.

You just leave me like this? That's right.

Yo, Tom. What? Tom. What?

What?

I'm sorry.

Fine.

You fuck!

You fuck!

Give him shit.

Good luck, motherfucker.

I'll be out of here in two minutes.

Look at this. We made it.

We made it.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Pick a hand.

Pick a hand. Go ahead.

Oh, my God. I cannot believe you found this. Huh?

Baby.

How about cannon that, huh?

I mean, give an old cynic a break, you know what I mean?

That's sweet.

Huh? Now break it up. Back up, bitch.

No way.

Uh, we were gonna wait for you. Not today, motherfucker.

Back up.

Back up!

Now you're gonna get in that little blue chopper, and you're gonna fly me the

fuck out of here.

You want my help to get you out of here?

Fifty percent.

You asshole!

Shut the fuck up.

Done.

Move, buddy.

Okay.

Okay.

Roland, what the fuck are you doing, man? We had a goddamn deal.

Hey, I got what I came for.

You two got true love.

I still gotta buy it. Shut the fuck up. Get the fuck in the cockpit.

Get back, get back.

Oh, no, no, no.

Who the shit you are?

We're getting out of here.

We can't be too far from down here.

Hey, you know, uh...

Guns don't make it in planes and helicopters. Shut the fuck up and fly

fucking plane, you stupid fuck.

Put that gun away.

There's no one here but me and you.

You can trust me.

Guns don't kill people.

People kill people.

He's coming back, kids.

I'm still on the clock.

Where is it?

Let's get the fuck out of here.

It's nothing.

Zach, stop!

Wait, stop the boat! Stop the boat!

No one's gonna need that.

Just help me!

Come

on,

hurry up, it's gaining on us!

It's getting closer!

Let's go!

Light up my

life, motherfucker!

Oh, no. What a win.

Are you okay?

Are you sure? Yeah, I think so.

All right, let's get out of here.

Use enough gas back there?

Well... At least we finally have some time alone together.

That's true.

You said you wanted to go somewhere tropical, right?

So...

Have I told you that I loved you yet?

No, you haven't.

Well, I do.

Oh, yeah?

It's pretty nice of the airline to put us up here.

Well, I think they just didn't want to give us food.

Yeah, well, I still might soon.

Oh, you might. I might.

So what do we do now?

I think it's a good time to live happily ever after.

I think that's a good idea.

I think I want another kiss.

Come on, let's go.

Okay, now stay right here.

And watch the mess.

Come on in.

It's beautiful.

I can do better than that.

Oh, really?

Let's see what you got.

Thank you for watching.

Did I do it the right way?

Thank you