All language subtitles for Forgive Me s03e05 Worthy of All My Love.eng

[Narrator] Previously
on Forgive Me.

Why do you think they
told you in confession?

[intense music]

So you would know and not tell.

[music continues]

They sucked you in.

You're a part of 'em.

You're part of the coverup.

[intense music]

I listened to you Pete.

I believed that what
my son was doing,

selling drugs, was a
threat to my community

and an abomination against God

that he was spreading
crime and sick--

Nobody can blame you
Gladi for obeying the law.

Nobody's going to blame you

for doing what you
thought was right.

But they do blame me.

My son blames me, my
daughter, my sister.

They all saw me choosing
the law over my own child.

Now I'm not someone who has
blind faith in the Lord.

Not at all.

I know better.

But I have faith in his church

and I followed it and now
I've been made a fool.

What did you
think would happen

when you let this
cat out of the bag?

When you gave him a
forty year old letter

saying the priest knew
about his abuse, huh?

This is what happens.

[upbeat music]

? Ave Maria

? Ave Maria

[dramatic music]

Oh I didn't mean to scare you.

You overslept.

What time is it?

8:45.

Why have you been wearing
bandages on your hands?

What?

Your hands. They look fine.

Why the bandages?

I guess they're better.

You feel all right?

You seem tired.

Can I take your tray away?

Oh yeah. Go ahead.

Can I ask you something
your excellency?

Go ahead.

Is it your plan to
sell the church off

for the land that is sitting on?

I'm in the midst

of negotiating a settlement
between the parish

and whoever is offering.
- I know.

So until that's settled,

no one knows what
happens to your church.

How low would the
settlement have to be

for the church to survive?

Why?

I mean, you put me in
charge of the parish, sir.

I just want to know
what I'm up against.

Who do you think
you're up against?

The accuser,

or the parish, me?

Frankly,

whichever one of you is
trying to tear down my church.

That remains to be seen.

[door bangs]

[footsteps approaching]

Thanks Gladi.

Father.

Nice to see you again.

Me too, I guess.

In the name of the
father, son, Holy spirit.

Forgive me, father
for I have sinned.

It's been two weeks
since my last confession.

I'm ready.

I tried it.

You tried what?

Pot.

You tried pot.

I smoked some pot.

I see.

Went to the liquor
store, plunked out my $20

and said, "Give me some pot."

[priest chuckles]

Okay.

Well, I guess technically
that's a sin, but I mean $20.

That doesn't sound
so bad, right?

With, uh, with liquor,

they say it's all about
moderation, right?

Oh I know it.

Jesus turned water into wine,

but didn't turn grass
or no grass. [chuckles]

Can hear you.

Are you high right now?

No I'm not high
right now. Good Lord.

I'm sorry. I just,

you just, you seem
a little different

than you did the last time.

Well, I'm not angry today.

Oh, that's good.

That's great.

Okay. So how much pot
does $20 buy these days?

Did you keep it
within moderation?

Well, I didn't
smoke it all myself.

I shared it.

You shared it with who?

The Women's Auxiliary

The Women's Auxilli...

the women's auxiliary here?

Yes the women's
auxiliary here.

You smoked marijuana
with the women's auxiliary.

Well, we thought there
was going to be a funeral,

you know for, for the priest.

Yeah. For Father John. Yeah.

Yeah. So we made
all the sandwiches

and Candy made
her perfect rolls,

and Ruth made her lemon squares.

I made my carrot cake and
Maryland made her a short bread.

Okay.

And then there
was no fear at all.

Right. We, uh, we had to
make some other arrangements.

So we got high and
then we ate it all.

So you and The
Women's Auxiliary,

you all got together.

Mm-hmm.

You made some sandwiches
and some desserts

for father John's funeral.

Enough for 200 people.

You made enough
food for 200 people,

and then you ate it?

We got the munchies, you know,

cause we were high.

[chuckles] Right.

Yeah, I've heard
that's how it works.

It's a cause and effect, right?

Yeah. And you know what?

Those girls couldn't cook.

[chuckles] All right.

Gladi, it's perfectly
understandable

that you would want
to experiment with pot

given your tumultuous
history with it.

Turning your son in
when it was illegal,

having that cost you your
relationship with him.

Now that it is legal,

I understand why you
would want to try it out.

See what you sacrificed
so much over.

Yeah.

But you corrupted the
entire Women's Auxiliary.

No, not all of them.

Beverly McCamus said

she could get stronger
stuff cheaper.

So I don't think I
ruined her innocence

on the whole subject.

Beverly McCamus.

Grandma McCamus,
Carolyn's mother.

Well, she's probably giving
poor Carolyn marijuana.

Wow. This is a lot to digest.

All that food was
going to go to waste.

[sighs] You know what?

Good.

I'm glad y'all had a party
for yourselves for once

though it does sound

like some gluttony
might have transpired.

Oh, for sure.

I had to smack a brownie
out of Mooney Dunphy's hand.

It was like her twelfth.

Okay. [chuckles]

Do you have anything
else you want to confess?

I liked it.

It was just silly.

It was relaxing.

I mean, the girls were
all pretty stressed out

when it turned out there
wasn't going to be a funeral.

And then...

It was fun.

I had fun.

I have been doing the very thing

I lost my son over.

Well, I will do anything

to go back and not turn him in.

Anything to have him back.

I'm sorry, Gladi.

All that pain
over a bit of fun.

Um, anyway,

there you have it.

I bought pot,

I smoked it,

and then I pigged out.

Did you ever end up
speaking to your sister?

My sister?

Yeah about being jealous

of her relationship
with her kids.

Yeah. She wasn't
very forgiving.

She said I got
what I deserved.

Not true.

Oh, yes it is.

I wouldn't even trust me.

That's why I'm alone.

Gladi, you're a good person.

Hmm, you know what?

You know what's weird?

I felt close to my son.

When I was high, you know,

that's what was in my mind.

I mean, I don't think it has
anything to do with pot now.

He's in all kinds
of other bad stuff,

but,

I felt like I was
going over to his side.

Giving up my ground.

I'm not sure that that's
exactly what he needs

from his mother.

Oh, he doesn't need
anything from me now.

That's all there that.

Time may prove otherwise.

You're ready?

Oh my God,

I am heartily sorry for
having offended you.

I detest all my sins,

Because of your
chest punishment.

But most of all, because
they have offended you.

Oh God, who art all good,

deserving of all my love,

I firmly resolve,

with the help of your
grace to sin no more

and to avoid the
new occasion of sin.

May the Lord grant
your pardon and peace

and I absolve you of your sins.

In the name of the father

and of the son and
of the Holy spirit.

Amen.

For the gluttony,

say a Hail Mary.

For the smoking pot,

I think you've done
penance enough already.

Amen.

[man clears throat]

How'd you get there?

We can pass.

From?

What do you think?

I miss you.

It's weird how you never
missed me when I was alive.

I just didn't want to see you

when you're drunk.

[water splashing]

[wind howling]

[dramatic music]

Hello?

I'm not afraid of you.

I'm not going to chase you

if you want me come
down and get me.

Me?

Maria?

Yeah. What's the
matter with you?

Hey, how are you?

I was rude to you
father and I'm sorry.

No, please stop being
the sensitive one.

I accept your apology.

I apologize to you.

Did it count?

The confession?

Uh, yeah. I said the
prayer of absolution for you.

Did you say the 10 Hail Mary's?

I said 50.

That'll do it.

Did you want to?

Oh no. I haven't
had time to sin.

Do you wanna sit?

Yeah.

[priest sighs]

My mother would roll
over in her grave

if she knew how I
spoke to a priest.

We get treated with
reverence by default.

It's nice to get held
accountable from time to time.

I wasn't offended honestly.

And I will join
The Women's Auxiliary

if you want me to.

No, no, no, no. I was,

it was a suggestion

and I mean, you know,

now's probably not
even the best time

to be joining The
Women's Auxiliary

so I'm sure we could find
something more suited

to your interest that
doesn't involve cleaning.

Although, you know, to be fair,

most of the volunteer
stuff involves cleaning.

Well, you don't
have to find anything

to keep me busy Father.

I mean, the church isn't
exactly the cure for loneliness.

Can help though.

Every time I come
in here, you're alone.

Never really alone.

That priest who
killed himself,

that was here at this church?

It didn't happen here,
but he worked here, yeah.

He must've been lonely.

I guess in a way.

But he had a lot of other
things weighing on his mind.

It wasn't just loneliness.

You're not
considering suicide--

God, no.

I wouldn't kill myself and
burn in hell for all eternity.

That's a relief.

My cousin did that.

I prayed a million
prayers for him

and I don't think
it did any good.

It does though, right?

I mean, it's,

it's good to keep the
people that we love

in our prayers really.

I did not love Carl.

He was a son of a mother.

[sighs] Can't say
that in front of you.

Uh, I get the drift.

I just don't think that
anyone should burn in hell

for all eternity because
they gave up hope.

Neither do I.

So either way, I think things
are going to have to change.

Either stick around here

or come out of the closet

or we got to leave the area.

You want me to come
out of the closet?

Yeah as my daughter.

[background noise
drowns out sound]

It's not weird
enough around here.

Yeah that weird.

What about you?

What, you think I'm weird?

Are you gonna come
out of the closet?

[sighs] As your father, yeah.

That's all?

Got to work with me on this.

So you'd rather
stick around here

and deal with what people
are going to say about us.

Cause I got to warn you
and I got to be very nice.

I'd rather have a
father than a secret.

Yeah.

It's very deserved
that you always have.

If you said we could
keep things the same,

maybe I would.

But out of leaving and staying,

I would stay.

[machine buzzing]

You know why way Dr.
Linden wanted you to see me?

Yeah. This is my
psychiatric evaluation.

He says it's because
you're reluctant

to have treatment
for a brain tumor.

I was treated.

It was painful.

Couldn't eat, lost all my hair.

It's for religious reasons.

I'm a Catholic I'm not
a Christian scientist,

but yeah. I mean, I think
God's will does factor

into my decision making process.

God wants you to
have a brain tumor.

He put it there, I assume.

He also sent your doctors.

Dr. Linden, the other doctors.

Agnes, yeah.

No you're right.

He did. That's true.

So surrounding you with
doctors and treatments,

it's also God's will.

Since I've known
about the tumor,

I mean even a little bit
before I was aware of it,

I've experienced visitations.

From who?

Saints and martyrs.

My brother Christopher,
some angels.

Your brother's deceased?

Yeah.

So you think this tumor
is causing hallucinations.

Visitations.

Visions.

When I have the treatment,
they turn violent.

What do they do?

The violence.

Shoot me full of arrows,

dry on me.

Just get inside my
head and haunt me.

Frankly, I'm starting
to get used to them.

It's just that when I have
the radiation, it gets worse.

So saints and
martyrs don't want you

to have medical treatment.

Well, they seem so angry.

So you reject the hypothesis

that the tumor pressing
down your brain

causes hallucinations.

I don't rule that out.

That seems more likely than
divine visitations, right?

Except that my
entire life is based

on the belief that the divine
can communicate with us.

The divine usually
communicated with saints

when they were alive.

Do you think you're a saint?

Not even a little bit

So you're refusing
medical treatment

because you don't want to
upset saints who visit you?

Look, if the tumor
is gonna kill me,

to me that means that
it's opening up a door

to the afterlife, right?

Like that's, that's
what I believe.

This thing is just
such a slow grower

that it's almost like,

it's just kind of cracking
the door open a little bit.

And the doctors want
to close that door

for as long as possible.

Right. And that's
what I don't understand.

Why?

Like why would I ever
want to close the door

to God's kingdom?

[soft dramatic music]

[Narrator] Next
time on, Forgive Me.

Why does your
doctor come here?

I missed an appointment.

Oh come on.

You want me to
see a psychiatrist.

Did you?

Yeah informal valuation.

And?

They want me to get treatment.

Medication might
help you sleep.

I'm not worried
about me sleeping

when I know I have
a brain tumor.

It's back?

I lost [fumbles]

Told him I aborted his child.

I mean, I didn't break
it to him gently.

I [fumbles] that information
like a sword through his heart.

[fumbles]

I suppose there's not really
a great way to hear that.

[dramatic music]

You know how a
priest is celibate,

I'm not talking about sex.

[music intensifies]

Forgive me father
for I've sinned.

It's been about a week
since my last confession.

You can't confess to yourself.

It's stupid, of course you can.

I don't think it will be
official by you doing that.

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