All language subtitles for Forgive Me s02e10 Mother of God.eng

Female Narrator:
Previously on 'Forgive Me':

The letter's
almost 30 years old.

That's to my mother.

I think I should sue.

Sue... the church?

Mr. O'Leary is
alleging sexual abuse

in his history
in the diocese.

Do you know
anything about that?

I don't know
how to answer.

Mr. O'Leary
is penitent.

Have you spoken to
him outside the booth?

A couple of times.

Did you give
him the letters?

Should I settle?

I don't know.

I mean, I don't
think that you should worry

about what the
church is gonna do,

they have people thinking
about that, believe me.

I'm a member
of the church.

How can I not think about
what's good for the church?

It's- [sighs]
It's one in the same.

You made me feel
safe, and I never feel safe.

[laughs nervously]

I want you to know...

[clears throat]

that I feel
comfort when I look at you.

You need to go back,
on the other side.

[rattles the divider]
Why?

Because this is
really inappropriate--

Aw!

[uncomfortably]
Mm! Mm.

Mmm!

[lips smack]

[laughs]

You can't help me!

You're too
chicken shit to ask!

Go home. Go home.

I don't want
to go home!

There's nothing
for me there!

I want to hear
you tell the truth!

Tit for tat, 'kay?

That's the deal.

No deal. Go.

Fuckin' coward!

[sighs heavily of relief]

? 'Ave Maria' by
Christopher Frances Mitchell

[footsteps on
a wet sidewalk]

The decision I made
and the orders I followed

those thirty odd years ago
seemed like the right thing

for your family
at the time.

[sarcastically] Ha!

[sighs]

I can see now
that they weren't,

I-I agree.

But I'm talking
about intentions.

Is that an apology?

Father Geniuses
isn't here too apologize.

The decisions you
made caused me to live

a completely
faithless life.

And I am poorer for that.

The idea here
is that Mr. O'Leary

makes his
victims statement

in front of a
representative of the diocese.

So I'm not a
victim, is that it?

It's all right.

I'm here to listen.

I never trusted anyone, again.

Nobody in authority.

No man.

My mistrust of men in authority
held me back in school, in work,

in my career,
financially, emotionally,

it has always
held me back.

To this day--

Wasn't the choirmaster
responsible for all of that?

Am I standing in
for the perpetrator?

You're a
representative of the church.

What are you?

I went to you because
you had the authority.

I can imagine how
it would seem that way.

Now it doesn't anymore.

Well, I'm not the police.

You're not much
of anything, are ya?

Did you not
write this report?

Are those all
the church records?

They found the
notice of discovery.

The parish was obligated
to turn over any records

regarding the incident.

Well, I didn't
file any report!

It's a letter.

Ah.

Well, I was a priest,
I made a recommendation.

I gave information, but
the decision on how to proceed

was never mine to make.

So who's was it then?

Yours!

Wha-uh--

[laughs in disbelief]

Well, you must
remember better than I,

when you came to the church,
when your mother brought you,

and you sat in
front of me for...

ten, fifteen minutes and
you didn't admit anything.

You never asked me.

Directly.

You treated me like-

[sighs]

you never asked
in so many words,

you wanted me
to find the words.

But we don't put words
into an accuser's mouth,

even I know that!

Into a child's mouth?

I didn't want to
influence your story.

But you had no story.

You, you filed the report.

It was a letter.

Based upon the
suspicions of the mother.

To Father Belliveau-Brown
and Pre--

I want to talk to
Father Geniuses.

Well that's
why we're here.

Alone.

I think it's best if
we maintain this form.

I don't want to sit
in front of all of you.

I just want
him to hear it.

That's not what
the parish agreed to.

You don't want
to hear anything

I wouldn't say in
front of my mother.

We're not strangers.

All right with you?

Of course.

You too.

I've already heard it all.

No.

Not all of it.

Just the sins.

Ask me now.

[large door closes]

[whisper among themselves]

[pew door opens and closes]

How've things
been at home?

This nightmare.

It never goes away.

[sympathetically] Mm.

I mean, it
might soon. More so.

Kills me to
see him like this.

The babies, the
sound of them crying

is like an arrow
going through your heart.

That's just
evolution, just DNA.

The baby cries you
have to do something,

you feed it,
you clean it.

Not big on
evolution around here.

Well you're not
big on evidence either,

I'm just saying
when they're babies,

you think when they grow up
it's all going to be different.

You won't feel like
their pain is like your pain.

But you do.

Now I have to
see them suffering.

And there's nothing
I can do about that.

It's the worst
thing ever for a mother

to see her own
child in despair.

He's getting
help now, all right?

Don't give up
hope for him.

I didn't say
I've given up hope.

Good.

He should just
walk away from all this.

That's what
I'm trying to do.

I thought I could
leave it all behind,

but Johnny, Johnny never
wanted to leave the church.

Secrets.

Secrets festering and
festering away for years.

Ruined my family.

No, the church itself
didn't harm your son.

Oh, bless your naivety.

It was one bad man.

And that's the kind of
thinking that'll make sure

it never stops.

What are you?

Fifty years left in you.

Fifty years.

With no sex.

Is that the plan?

That is one of
the vows that I took.

Well, all the priests take a
vow until they lose their mind

and go out
and hurt somebody.

I can handle my vow.

Yeah but, to what, what end?

I mean, c'mon, why not love?

Love and then a wife
and sex and then a family.

I don't know, we're
standing in for Christ on Earth?

Wouldn't it be wonderful if
they discovered Mary Magdalene

did not have just a platonic
relationship with Jesus?

[laughs]

That they were
more than buddies.

I'm pretty sure they would
have figured that out already.

Yeah, but if they had,
they wouldn't tell you.

Gonna keep
you in despair.

Gonna keep on
messing with your head.

How's your mother?

She left.

Well, you're a great
listener for a priest,

I didn't ask where she
is, I asked how she is.

I don't know.

I mean, she certainly
didn't seem very together

when she was here.

How could she be
together with a dead son?

She barely knew him.

That doesn't matter.

I think it does, I think she
gave up certain maternal rights.

No, you don't give
up the right to grieve.

And I'm not
defending your mother.

Don't even like her.

She's a dreadful woman.

Mhmm.

Nasty woman.

I mean, all that
drug stuff and awful men,

just screwing
around in the hallway.

That's what
got us evicted.

[jokingly] So, how do
ya really feel about her?

[serious]

I can think-- I'm sorry, just
thanks for not making me say it

in front of defending her
like everyone else around here

seems to want too.

Well, I can still empathises
with a grieving mother.

Even if she is
a stupid old cow.

[annoyed]

Okay!

Ah, see!

I knew I could
get you to defend her.

[chuckles]

I'm no better.

I'm not.

I'm not any
better than my mom.

Well if that's true,
you must change that.

That's what
I'm trying to do.

And I want all
this behind me.

I really want
this just gone away.

I want the
taste of it gone.

Dear God, I never
thought in a million years

that you and I would
have ended up back here.

[chuckles]

[floor creaks under
Johnny's heavy stomping]

Ready to go mom?

Yes, yeah.

Just help me there.

Thanks.

[ *and whisper]

Well you can do
what you can do.

Well, I'll do my best.

Give my best
to... Belliveau Brown [?]

Thanks.

[door closes]

[weeping]

[door closes]

[sighs]

[exhales]

You gonna stay on
that side this time?

Yeah.

Sorry.

It's fine.

It's not.

I was wrong.

I'm sorry.

I forgive you.

I was loaded
and screwed up--

Okay, it's fine, it's fine.

Alright?

Just, let it go.

If you really want
to you can say like,

ten Hail Marys
when you get home.

Consider the
amount of resolve.

I fucked up.

It's fine, it's
understandable,

considering how you
were feeling that day.

Not, not that.

What happened?

I slept with
someone I shouldn't have.

Ex-girlfriend.

She's married.

When?

After the funeral.

After I left here.

I didn't go
back to my mothers.

I went down to the
bar, and I kept drinking.

Y'know, I was on my
phone and I messaged her.

I was just so
fucking alone.

Look, I'm sorry if I
made you feel that way,

just, just, like--

No, I understand.

I was out of line.

Way, out of line.

Did you know
that she was married?

Yeah.

When you messaged her?

Yeah.

I've known for a while.

She's been messaging
me on Facebook for ages,

even though I
never respond.

She's the only person
who's ever made me feel a rush

when I looked
in her eyes.

Mmm.

Most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.

Boy or girl.

Alright.

So did you feel any better
after you slept with her?

For a minute, sure.

Afterwards...
mmm... nothing.

I knew she felt it too.

It's not like the
movies where it turns out

you've been waiting
to find each other again.

It's just
this ugly feeling.

Y'know, shame
and stupidity.

[scratches the
wall of the booth]

She wasn't going
to leave her husband,

I wasn't going to
move back from California.

Just served as a reminder
that you can never go back

to the past.

Maybe that's been the
lesson of this whole trip.

Y'know?

Leave the past
where it belongs.

Somewhere along the line,
I gave up on the notion

that anybody
could love me.

Because I
don't love myself.

I push people away,
when they're close to me.

I confess that I
did this to myself.

I made the choice to
become this rotten person.

But God forgives you.

He loves ya.

And he'd want
you to love yourself.

I'm afraid that I'll go
home and nothing will change.

Well, that's up to you.

Okay, it sounds
stupid, but it's true.

There's a reason you've
come in here this week,

there's a reason that you've
come to the conclusions you have

this week.

Sometimes it takes tragedy
to give you... perspective,

so you can become the man
that you're supposed to be.

Like trust me, I know.

How?

I've had a few roadblocks
myself in the past year.

Y'know?

I questioned what I was
doing and my place in the world

but all you got in the
end are your instincts.

God gives you
the tools man,

you're the one
that's got to use them.

What, you just keep going?

[chuckles]

What else are
you gonna do, right?

Like everyday you wake up
is another opportunity to,

y'know, make the best of it.

Sounds like a
motivational poster.

[laughs]

That does sound like a
motivation post, you're right.

[sniffs]

Ah.

It is what it is.

Will I be forgiven?

For all of it?

From the man upstairs?

Yeah.

Say an 'Our Father'
to cover our bases--

[laughs]

and together, "Our
Father, who art in Heaven,

hallowed by thy name.

By Kingdom come, it will be done
on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day,
our daily bread,

and forgive those, Forgive us--

[frustrated sigh]

It's alright.

Forgive us, Our
trespasses, Our trespasses,

As we forgive those

Who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil."

Amen.

Can I stay in here a
little while with you?

No weirdness.

[laughs]

Just scared to be alone.

[breathes deeply]

Yep.

As long as you want.

Well, the O'Leary
mediation is over.

And the Bishop is
expecting a resignation.

Today.

Well, I'm not resigning.

After what I heard today and
everything that's come to light,

if anyone should
resign, it's the Bishop.

He can shut
the parish down.

He can keep it open
and transfer us all.

Or retire, you and me.

Well, I'd rather
be fired than quit.

And bring us
all down with you?

Oh, and about you?

This whole lawsuit
happened under your watch.

You want to be the
last lead of this parish?

Then who'd be prelate then, you?

I'll go.

I did this.

That sleeping dog was lying for
thirty years 'til I woke it up.

You didn't do
anything wrong.

I handed over those letters.

I gave property away to someone
to use in a lawsuit against us,

I gave him his case.

And I don't know
that if it happened again

I'd do it any differently, so
maybe I'm not cut out for this.

What future would this
parish have without you?

Look, maybe
that makes sense.

You're gonna throw
the kid under the bus.

He's sick.

He's got a whole
other world of problems.

Maybe it's the
right decision for him.

Well I'd rather resign
than to see him punished.

We're all being punished.

I'm going.

I got a teaching
post back in New York.

Since when?

Since the lawsuit was filed.

You think this is over?

Settled out of court.

People are gonna find out.

Whispers are
gonna become screams.

[chuckles]

I've been there before.

And I'm not gonna
stick around for that.

But you're the only one
who bears no culpability

for this whatsoever.

Exactly.

So why should I deal
with the consequences?

[scoffs]

I don't want to be
associated with any of ya.

I think it's
time to leave now.

[sighs]

?

Narrator:
Next time on 'Forgive Me':

We have a school, as
you know, a very small one.

We could take in a young
girl, without the whole convent

being curious about her
history, where she comes from.

Thank you.

I didn't know that
could be an option.

Well it wasn't before,
but I've moved up. In rank.

I could squash any
curiosity about her background.

I think I'd prefer to
have my daughter be raised

with her family.

Well it wouldn't
be any further away.

But I don't go there.

We could give you
reasons to go there.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0