Original subtitles

Female Narrator: Previously on 'Forgive Me':

You're drunk! You're drunk right now so there's no point

in me trying to have this conversation with you.

I'm not doing this with you again.

I'm not gonna do it, we do this every time!

Did you not get a call?

No?

Your brother's in the ICU, he's in a coma.

Can I give him a kidney?

Don't even think about it.

Even if you were healthy, no!

I love you.

[struggles to breathe]

[sobs]

You hear me? You are very loved.

You are a good person and you deserve love.

I'm listening.

I unplugged him.

Yeah?

I didn't want him to suffer anymore.

? 'Ave Maria' by Christopher Frances Mitchell ?

? 'Ave Maria' by Christopher Frances Mitchell ?

? 'Ave Maria' by Christopher Frances Mitchell ?

[organ music plays softly]

Popped up out of nowhere.

[mumbles]

Yeah. You have nothing to feel ashamed about.

Evered. Yeah?

Can I borrow you for a sec?

It's fine, c'mon.

Yeah, okay. Is there anything I can do?

Priest: Don't sit with my family.

I'm a friend.

Not that good a friend.

Okay, everybody here is already talking and I'm just asking you,

please don't make my brother's funeral about you.

All right? Just sit back here, okay?

I'm, I'm here to comfort your grandma.

That's fine, you can comfort her, in private.

[sniggers] I will.

[organ music]

[organ music]

[organ music]

Lamentations.

My soul is deprived of peace,

I have forgotten what happiness is.

[pew door slams]

I tell myself my future is lost,

all that I hoped for from the Lord.

The thought of my homeless poverty is wormwood and gall;

Remembering it over and over leaves my soul

downcast within me.

But, I will call this to mind, as my reason to have hope.

The favours of the Lord are not exhausted,

his mercies are not spent.

They are renewed each morning, so great is his faithfulness.

My portion is the Lord, says my soul;

therefore will I hope in him.

Good is the Lord to one who waits for him,

to the soul that seeks him.

[group sings] ? One for me, one for me, drink one for me, yeah. ?

? Raise your glass and think on me tonight. ?

? One for me, one for me, drink one for me, yeah. ?

? Raise your glass and think on me tonight. ?

[door opens and closes]

How's the view from there?

Figured it was my only chance.

Oh, you know, you could always be a lay reader.

No, pope or nothin', I want to be in charge.

Look, I've got to tell you something.

It can wait.

No, it's important.

It's a funeral.

[sighs]

I'm your father.

Well that's not how I expected it.

It's time like this that remind us how precious life is.

My life didn't get any more precious today.

I'm sorry, you're right.

I'm not stupid, I knew it wasn't just some old lady,

with a priest for a son taking me in.

You didn't say anything.

Why would I?

I didn't want to upset anybody.

We didn't want to upset you,

and other people.

Okay, so you told me.

What does it change?

[softly] I don't know.

[sighs] Well, thanks for telling me.

Female voice: YOU DID IT!

[muffled arguing]

I do love you.

[trotting footsteps, door opens and closes]

[muffled arguing]

You coulda helped him but you just stood there!

YOU DUMPED HIM! You let him drown.

HE WAS YOUR KID AND YOU DUMPED HIM!

YOU LEFT HIM!

Fuck you!

LOOK AT HER! SHE'S THE MOTHER FROM HELL!

OH, LIKE YOU SHOULD KNOW!

Drunken slut! That's what you--!

You took him away from me! I loved him!

Drunken slut! Get out! [screams]

You don't belong in this building! You killed him!

You don't belong in here! Go! Keep talking! Go on.

What, you finally fuckin' proved it to me, did you?

Shut your mouth.

[sobbing] YOU! YOU LET HIM GO TOO, YOU FUCKER!

Come with me.

Fucking fraud!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's all right.

You want me to stay!

No, listen! Listen! Listen to me!

When your brother was in the hospital

and the doctor went over his options,

I realized things had to change, for me and for your grandfather.

So you're going to put him in an institution?

Your grandfather wouldn't want to be my 24 hour a day concern.

He would want me to have a life.

Can you not put your own life on hold for just a little while?

Four years he's been laying in there,

I could have died before him.

I know. I know.

No, you don't know! I do, I get it!

No, no, no. Don't bullshit me! It's sacrifice!

You are no help!

I have nuns coming to you every week--

Because you don't want to do it yourself!

But you expect me to!

Look, I will help you more, I can do it now.

[sighs] You have your hands full.

I don't have many years left on this planet.

You may have even less, to be a father, to your daughter.

I can't. Not right now.

You don't want to be a father to your daughter,

you don't have to.

I don't judge you.

I don't judge you for doing what you have to do

but don't you judge me.

I'm not. I'm not!

Why don't we just make room here,

why don't we make room in the house for me?

[heavy breath] I'm selling the house.

I don't want it.

Where are you going to live?

I don't want to be here in the winter, it's too cold.

I want to go where it's warm, I want to do things.

I need you to reconsider this,

I need you to seriously reconsider the timing of this.

I'm under scrutiny! Severe scrutiny by the bishop!

Why do your problems always become mine?

I don't care about a bishop!

[sighs]

Look around you.

Everyone is dying.

Maybe even you.

I guess it must be hard to outlive your grandchildren.

[sighs]

I need a rest.

Ah, you're back.

In the flesh.

What's up?

I got into a fight with my mom,

at the goddamn wake.

You want to confess?

Didn't I just do that?

You gotta do the whole thing, it's uh,

'Forgive me Father for I have sinned'

and it's, uh, it's part of the whole thing.

[sigh of frustration]

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

How long has it been since your last confession?

I don't know, was last time, was that a confession?

So. You got into a fight, with your mother?

I made her cry. I don't feel very good about it.

But what happened?

I guess I wasn't as cool with the whole thing as I thought.

I saw the old man laying in the box and it uh, fucked with me?

Were you afraid?

Was definitely a shock.

Being faced with mortality, it's...

it's an extremely personal experience.

We all react differently to it, it's okay.

There's nothing wrong with feeling overwhelmed.

I hadn't seen the guy in so damn long.

Thought I hated him, y'know?

I built up this version of him in my head.

The guy who yelled at me.

Y'know, gave me shit?

I walked into the funeral home,

I just couldn't hold on to the anger.

[softly] Yo, he looked like wax.

Y'know, covered in blush, like a fucking schoolgirl.

Is that the first death in your immediate family?

My grandparents and shit but... they're old.

My father wasn't even sixty.

Y'know, it didn't make sense.

I lost it.

I went to a bar.

I got loaded.

Wasn't even one-thirty, but I just had to do something.

Yeah, and your mother was upset that you left.

No, she was upset I came back.

[laughs]

There's this photographer who figured out where I was,

he was outside snapping pictures,

I was stumbling around the room in front of all of her friends.

She said I made the whole thing about myself.

She's grieving too.

No. No, she's right.

I could have stopped myself.

I knew it was fucked up,

but I just wanted her to know how I felt. Y'know?

She started in about how, how I was a stranger,

to my own family.

And I told her I didn't give a shit about her.

Is that true?

'Course not.

Y'know.

I might be a little screwed up but I'm not a total asshole.

I love her.

She's my mom.

So. All you, all you gotta do is go and tell her that.

Nah, I can't go back.

My sisters are pissed at me.

They'd been dealing with the arrangements

and trying to keep her together.

[heavy sigh]

I'm just adding to the problems.

One of them told me if I was gonna be such a prick,

I should have just stayed in L.A.

You just gotta go... and ask them for forgiveness.

Look, it's not uncommon to be angry in times of loss,

we've been there, all of us have been there, okay?

It's, it's a part of the grieving process,

it's part of your process, your sisters'.

I didn't think I'd miss him, but I already do.

What would you tell him if you could?

I wish we had more years.

To get to know each other, as men.

I wanted you to respect me.

And?

And I'm sorry! [hands smack together]

Let's pray.

Lord we ask for your guidance and support

during Royce's time of mourning.

Allow him to see the gifts that he processes,

the depth of his strength.

And we pray for his family.

That they find peace during this time of loss.

We ask that you accept his father into the kingdom

of your mercies, so one day they may meet again. [exhales]

In ever lasting happiness, in the name of the Father,

and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

[exhales deeply]

Will you come with me to the funeral?

Be nice to have someone there on my side.

Look, your family is... on your side.

Yeah, but you know what I mean.

Okay.

Okay, yeah.

Thanks.

Sorry I was such a smart ass the other day. [clicks tongue]

I was just high.

It's... fine, I forgive you.

Just go and talk to your mother, all right?

Yeah. Yeah, all right.

Good.

[shakes screen between them]

[both laugh]

You have really nice eyes.

[snickers]

See you Thursday.

[door closes]

[chuckles]

[softly groans]

[city noises]

?

?

[door opens and closes]

Mmm... [groans]

You all right?

Yeah, yeah, thanks for coming today.

Is the uh, is the reception over?

Mmm, most people have gone back to my mom's.

[smacks gums]

I, uh-- [burps and clears throat]

didn't realize there was booze downstairs.

Nope! I smuggled mine in.

[sighs]

You want some?

No. No, thank you.

Mmm.

Talk to your mother, or your sisters?

Said I was sorry. I tried to, anyway.

She said she didn't want to get into all of it.

She wanted to just... get through this week.

Yeah, give her some time, right?

Remember what you said the other day?

She's your mom.

[exhales] You love her.

You both see that.

Hopefully sooner rather than later but don't rush her.

Let her find her own path to forgiving you.

I want you to confess something to me.

[laughs] That's not how this works.

Well I told you all that shit about myself,

y'know, how I was feeling.

And you felt better!

Well, how is that fair?

You have the power.

You know me.

I can see it in your face.

In your eyes.

There's something hiding there...

I want to know.

Penance isn't about power. Right?

It's about unburdening yourself;

I'm, I'm not here to hold anything against you.

How do you unburden?

Who forgives the forgiver?

Not you.

You know, I've thought about it, since the other day.

[sniffs]

I've never sat down and told someone

how I was really feeling.

Stuff I really did.

Not like that anyway.

Not without thinking that they were gonna, uh, manipulate me

or uh, take it, take advantage of me, or manipulate me.

I want to do that for you.

I confess to a priest, like everybody else.

Y'know... everything I deal with,

everyone is so full of shit.

Y'know, posturing.

[sniffs]

I didn't realize how much I was like them,

until I came back here.

People treat me like I'm special.

Fawn over me.

Like I've earned it.

[laughs]

I've done nothing to earn it, y'know?

The world doesn't revolve around me.

You reminded me of that.

[sighs]

Do you have anything to confess because I'm--?

[door opens]

[heavy, frustrated sigh]

Oh! [laughs in surprise] Ho-oh!

Whoa, whoa, what is this?

I thought about you. Ugh.

I confess that.

You made me feel safe and I never feel safe.

[chuckles nervously]

I want you to know--

[clears throat]

that I feel comfort when I look at you.

You need to go back on the other side.

[taps screen] Why?

[slaps hands to lap]

[laughs] Because this is really inappropriate.

Ohhh. [resisting] Mm!

Mmmm. Mm!

[lips smack]

[Priest inhales heavily and laughs awkwardly]

You, you gotta go!

Just let me help you.

Look-- [exhales heavily]

you're confused? Right?

And you're drunk so you just, you gotta leave.

I can see you struggling with whatever it is

you pretend isn't going on in your mind, okay?

[sighs]

You want to lie about it but you can't fight it either.

Just, just fucking let it out.

[breathes nervously]

Ah, I feel so much better, heh, heh!

Heh! C'mon. C'mon. Go. Go.

I know you believe what I'm saying.

Okay, listen to me. Mm.

Do you hear me? Mhmm!

Either you go, or I will. Alright?

You're not my confidante and I am not your friend!

Do you get me?

You've misconstrued this relationship, all right?

You can't help me.

You're too chickenshit to ask!

Go home. Go home.

I don't want to go home!

There's nothing for me there!

I want to hear you tell the truth!

Tit for tat, 'kay?

That's the deal.

[whispered] No.

No deal. Go.

FUCKING COWARD!

[sigh of relief]

[slams door and stomps away]

[inhales deeply, exhales nervously]

?

Narrator: Next time on 'Forgive Me':

Am I standing in for the perpetrator?

You're a representative of the church.

And what are you?

I went to you because you had the authority.

I can imagine how it would seem that way.

Now it doesn't anymore.

The nightmare. It never goes away.

Ye-- it might soon, more so.

Kills me to see him like this.

I did this.

That sleeping dog was lying for 30 years til I woke it up.

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