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[Narrator] Previously
on Forgive Me.
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00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,792
All of this is a long way off.
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00:00:05,792 --> 00:00:07,448
You've got a lot of
life left in you.
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No, that depends.
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On these treatments, the
chemo, the radiation therapy.
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I'm just not sure
that I want to do it.
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Look, this isn't you.
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I'm taking you to
see my doctor now.
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Using in vitro, using a donor.
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Those are sins, yeah.
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Why?
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Why are they sins?
13
00:00:32,654 --> 00:00:36,069
What did Jesus ever say
about in vitro fertilization?
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Well, nothing.
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The scripture tells us
that children are a gift.
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I want my gift.
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If he wants you
to have a child
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00:00:46,138 --> 00:00:49,448
within is purview you
will if it's His will.
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What you're talking about
is tampering with His will.
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It's simple enough.
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But, it's not simple to me.
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[rhythmic theme music]
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[door creaking]
24
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Sorry.
25
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I know I look a fright.
26
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No, no, I didn't
know you were there.
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Please don't look
at me that way.
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I don't want sympathy.
29
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You've been kinder than that.
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[sighing]
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Oh, my vision is going.
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I can read it for you.
33
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No, no, no, they're
my sins, Father.
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I don't want there
to be any confusion
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for the man upstairs.
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I let my roommate win
a Cha Cha contest.
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I mean, in a bar see?
38
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I mean I won it,
but she was so livid
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that I turned around and
I gave the prize to her.
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It was ridiculous,
and she took it.
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You have a roommate?
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No, no, it was when we did
the Cha Cha without irony.
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Is that a sin?
44
00:02:44,413 --> 00:02:47,516
Well, it's a sin
to feel worthless,
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00:02:48,965 --> 00:02:52,896
not take what you want, not
to acknowledge yourself.
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Well, maybe you were
the bigger person,
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but it's fine.
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Go ahead.
49
00:03:01,413 --> 00:03:04,138
You're not gonna
argue with me?
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That is one creepy smile.
51
00:03:09,241 --> 00:03:11,413
[sighing]
52
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:16,861
Oh.
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00:03:20,792 --> 00:03:24,965
I lied about a boy hitting me,
and my brother beat him up.
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I smoked put, but I didn't
know if it was a sin or not.
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If it gave you the munchies
it might be gluttony.
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[laughing]
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Yes, well.
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I slept with a professor.
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Were you coerced?
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Not even a little.
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00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,413
I withheld sex from
my husband for years.
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00:04:04,034 --> 00:04:06,207
When I was in a
rush at the library,
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I put things on the wrong shelf,
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00:04:10,516 --> 00:04:13,861
in the right section
Dewey Decimal wise,
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but not right alphabetically,
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00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,723
and then I worried for
the rest of my life
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00:04:17,723 --> 00:04:20,551
that some poor
undergrad got a B-minus
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00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:24,723
instead of a B because they
couldn't find the right books.
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00:04:29,620 --> 00:04:33,034
You're really not
very talkative today.
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I didn't want to
sound sympathetic.
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00:04:36,516 --> 00:04:39,275
I asked you not
to look sympathic.
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I didn't ask you not
to sound sympathetic.
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Please, cut me some slack.
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I don't always
know what to say.
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I realize that there's an
expectation, but I don't always.
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Did something happen?
77
00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:02,723
I don't want to talk
about my troubles.
78
00:05:02,723 --> 00:05:04,620
We're here for you.
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00:05:04,620 --> 00:05:07,275
Well, I never
liked that dynamic.
80
00:05:07,275 --> 00:05:11,896
I never tolerated a one-way
friendship or relationship.
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00:05:11,896 --> 00:05:14,620
This is a special
circumstance.
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A confession is one-sided.
83
00:05:16,896 --> 00:05:19,516
Well, you'd get a
lot more action in here
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00:05:19,516 --> 00:05:21,344
if it was interactive.
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I'm sorry.
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I've experienced
some trials recently.
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00:05:33,585 --> 00:05:35,378
I just, I don't want
to let you down.
88
00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:37,792
I need to be the priest
that you want me to be.
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00:05:37,792 --> 00:05:40,000
Oh, you are an
excellent priest.
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00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,413
You've had me in here
three times already,
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00:05:42,413 --> 00:05:45,413
the only three times
since the 60's.
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00:05:46,965 --> 00:05:49,309
I was surprised that
I even came once.
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00:05:49,309 --> 00:05:51,758
I did not intend to come back.
94
00:05:51,758 --> 00:05:53,482
I'm glad you did.
95
00:05:53,482 --> 00:05:56,378
If you can bring this black
sheep back into the fold
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you are a good priest.
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Thanks.
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00:06:00,516 --> 00:06:01,930
You're welcome.
99
00:06:22,275 --> 00:06:24,585
Have you told your daughter?
100
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:27,309
No, I haven't
decided anything.
101
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,240
What about the other thing?
102
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What other thing?
103
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Taking your life?
104
00:06:34,137 --> 00:06:36,378
Oh, I did ask my brother.
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He said he'd help me.
106
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How?
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00:06:41,102 --> 00:06:45,102
Oh, we didn't get into a
plan, but I thought pills,
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00:06:45,102 --> 00:06:48,827
and then I read somewhere
that you could get the shot
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from a vet, what they
use to kill dogs.
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You want to be
put down like a dog?
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00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,827
I just want to go
to sleep, not wake up.
112
00:06:58,827 --> 00:07:03,000
I don't know why that seems
so unreasonable to people.
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I hope that it's God's will.
114
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:09,413
It's not death I'm afraid of.
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I just want to skip the
cancer, the wasting,
116
00:07:13,585 --> 00:07:16,758
the turning into a
breathing skeleton,
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00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:22,068
the lungs filling with
pus, the Morphine drip.
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I'm following in my
mother's footsteps.
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That's what she went through.
120
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And, it's what you don't want
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00:07:27,516 --> 00:07:30,068
your daughter to see.
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Did you get a chance to
say goodbye to your mother?
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Many times over.
124
00:07:33,792 --> 00:07:35,034
I mean, can you
imagine what it'd be like
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if you didn't know
that she was sick?
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If she just died without
any sort of reconciliation,
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00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:43,585
without a goodbye?
128
00:07:43,585 --> 00:07:45,930
I have a feeling you know.
129
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Yeah, I do.
130
00:07:50,413 --> 00:07:54,585
My dad wasn't sick, but
he died of a heart attack.
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I wasn't really talking to him.
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We hadn't seen each other
in a couple of years,
133
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so I didn't rush down.
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00:08:01,378 --> 00:08:05,551
I didn't really have an
idea of how serious it was.
135
00:08:06,965 --> 00:08:09,137
He died in the hospital
while I was in the elevator
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00:08:09,137 --> 00:08:11,000
on the way up to see him.
137
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,137
The whole time, the
whole time the only thing
138
00:08:13,137 --> 00:08:14,620
my stepmother told me was,
139
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:18,275
"Maybe you want to think
about coming down."
140
00:08:19,930 --> 00:08:23,275
It's hard for people
to talk about dying.
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00:08:23,275 --> 00:08:24,378
Yes, it is.
142
00:08:25,827 --> 00:08:29,758
And, it's not my job to
sit here and harp on you
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00:08:29,758 --> 00:08:32,240
about whether or not to tell
your daughter that you're sick.
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00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,861
I just, I really really
think that she deserves
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the opportunity to say goodbye.
146
00:08:39,792 --> 00:08:41,999
Thank you for telling me that.
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00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:46,171
I was thinking more about
the hurt of being there.
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00:08:50,206 --> 00:08:54,654
I was not thinking about
the hurt of not being there.
149
00:08:54,654 --> 00:08:56,930
Dying is an
essential part of life.
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00:08:56,930 --> 00:08:59,447
That's why there's
the sacrament.
151
00:08:59,447 --> 00:09:03,102
You know, you wouldn't
miss the birth of a child.
152
00:09:03,102 --> 00:09:06,516
Nobody should miss
the death of a parent.
153
00:09:07,723 --> 00:09:10,378
Well, I will think about that.
154
00:09:13,689 --> 00:09:17,689
Now, I can't counsel
you that killing yourself
155
00:09:19,378 --> 00:09:20,792
or having somebody
help you do it
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is anything but a mortal sin,
157
00:09:22,447 --> 00:09:24,896
and there won't be any
more confessing after that.
158
00:09:24,896 --> 00:09:27,447
What I confess it now?
159
00:09:27,447 --> 00:09:31,102
Well, you can confess
the thought not the deed.
160
00:09:31,102 --> 00:09:33,620
That seems like
a technicality.
161
00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:34,792
Nonetheless.
162
00:09:35,896 --> 00:09:38,551
All right, what's
the sentence?
163
00:09:38,551 --> 00:09:42,206
How many millennia in
Hell for that mortal sin?
164
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I don't know.
165
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Google it.
166
00:09:46,344 --> 00:09:49,137
I'm not gonna sit here
and pretend that I know
167
00:09:49,137 --> 00:09:52,206
the answer to things that
nobody could possibly know.
168
00:09:52,206 --> 00:09:55,137
I'm not sure
that's not your job.
169
00:09:57,309 --> 00:09:58,861
The church believes
in proportionate
170
00:09:58,861 --> 00:10:02,171
and disproportionate
means of treatment,
171
00:10:02,171 --> 00:10:05,344
so as a Catholic
you're only obligated
172
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,964
to seek a proportionate
means of treatment
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00:10:08,964 --> 00:10:12,999
to extend your life or to extend
the life of somebody else.
174
00:10:12,999 --> 00:10:15,516
You're not in any way obliged
175
00:10:15,516 --> 00:10:18,068
to seek extraordinary measures.
176
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:25,413
To forego treatment is not
the same thing as suicide.
177
00:10:26,999 --> 00:10:31,585
So, if I don't have my
kidney operation on Wednesday
178
00:10:31,585 --> 00:10:32,861
it's not a sin?
179
00:10:33,999 --> 00:10:35,413
What are they
doing to your kidney?
180
00:10:35,413 --> 00:10:37,171
It's blocked,
it's just blocked.
181
00:10:37,171 --> 00:10:41,275
They're gonna put a stint
in, so that it will slow,
182
00:10:41,275 --> 00:10:44,275
or I'll die in a
few days or a week.
183
00:10:46,171 --> 00:10:47,723
That's very sad.
184
00:10:47,723 --> 00:10:51,033
That's how I found out
that my cancer was fatal.
185
00:10:51,033 --> 00:10:55,206
The surgeon, he asked me if I
wanted a functioning kidney.
186
00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:59,378
I said, "Why wouldn't I
want a functioning kidney?"
187
00:10:59,378 --> 00:11:03,999
He said, "Well, kidney failure
ain't a bad way to go."
188
00:11:03,999 --> 00:11:04,827
Ouch.
189
00:11:06,102 --> 00:11:07,482
So, I had it done.
190
00:11:07,482 --> 00:11:09,447
It's blocked again.
191
00:11:09,447 --> 00:11:10,929
But, it will extend your life?
192
00:11:10,929 --> 00:11:12,585
Yes.
193
00:11:12,585 --> 00:11:14,413
By quite a bit?
194
00:11:14,413 --> 00:11:15,723
Presumably.
195
00:11:15,723 --> 00:11:17,792
Not years, not long.
196
00:11:17,792 --> 00:11:21,068
Weeks, maybe a couple of months.
197
00:11:21,068 --> 00:11:23,033
A lot can happen in
a couple of months.
198
00:11:23,033 --> 00:11:26,171
If I do this, I don't
think I'll recover.
199
00:11:26,171 --> 00:11:28,344
I don't think I would
put a stint in my kidney
200
00:11:28,344 --> 00:11:31,964
and be able to resume
business as usual.
201
00:11:31,964 --> 00:11:33,413
I think I would be committing
202
00:11:33,413 --> 00:11:37,275
to spending the rest of my
time in a hospital somewhere.
203
00:11:37,275 --> 00:11:39,240
Did the surgeon say that?
204
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,792
He was more optimistic
205
00:11:40,792 --> 00:11:43,964
after I suggested I
forego it and die.
206
00:11:46,171 --> 00:11:46,999
Well.
207
00:11:48,206 --> 00:11:51,551
I think you have
a lot more to do.
208
00:11:51,551 --> 00:11:52,999
More than a week's worth.
209
00:11:52,999 --> 00:11:55,068
We haven't even gotten
through your 50 years of sins.
210
00:11:55,068 --> 00:11:56,723
They're yours now.
211
00:11:56,723 --> 00:11:58,378
Just make sure that God knows
212
00:11:58,378 --> 00:12:01,275
that they're my
sins and not yours.
213
00:12:02,206 --> 00:12:04,275
I'm sure that He knows.
214
00:12:05,689 --> 00:12:09,240
If I tell my daughter,
what if she can't handle it?
215
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:13,516
What if she goes on a
drug or a drunk binge?
216
00:12:13,516 --> 00:12:15,344
It took everything
out of me to help her
217
00:12:15,344 --> 00:12:17,206
when I was healthy.
218
00:12:17,206 --> 00:12:20,378
I can't stop a spiral
from a sick bed.
219
00:12:21,585 --> 00:12:24,309
You have a
family, so does she.
220
00:12:25,171 --> 00:12:25,999
Brothers.
221
00:12:26,895 --> 00:12:28,344
Tell your sons to be prepared
222
00:12:28,344 --> 00:12:31,413
that now they have to
take care of their sister,
223
00:12:31,413 --> 00:12:33,723
take her to meetings,
take her to treatment.
224
00:12:33,723 --> 00:12:35,206
What if she spirals
out of control,
225
00:12:35,206 --> 00:12:37,551
and you're not there at all?
226
00:12:42,516 --> 00:12:45,102
You know what upsets me most?
227
00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:51,551
I finally felt I was
getting my shit together.
228
00:12:53,964 --> 00:12:58,068
I was never one of those
people who reveled in the past
229
00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:02,722
or realized too late that
I was a beautiful girl
230
00:13:02,722 --> 00:13:06,275
or felt that another
decade was my hey day.
231
00:13:08,137 --> 00:13:11,413
I floundered through
so much of my life
232
00:13:12,999 --> 00:13:16,860
worrying about being
ladylike, being a good mother,
233
00:13:16,860 --> 00:13:19,206
but basically I was
getting better and better
234
00:13:19,206 --> 00:13:20,206
at being me.
235
00:13:21,309 --> 00:13:24,102
When my body finally
started to sag
236
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:27,516
it felt like it finally fit.
237
00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,791
[laughing]
238
00:13:30,999 --> 00:13:33,447
I was just starting to relax.
239
00:13:34,757 --> 00:13:37,102
At least you got there.
240
00:13:37,102 --> 00:13:38,275
Well yeah.
241
00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:40,206
I've lived a long life.
242
00:13:40,206 --> 00:13:42,999
It'll be slightly
less than the average,
243
00:13:42,999 --> 00:13:45,999
but nobody will say that
I died tragically young.
244
00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:47,240
I don't think that most people
245
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:50,447
even find a measure of
peace within themselves
246
00:13:50,447 --> 00:13:52,929
no matter how long they live.
247
00:13:52,929 --> 00:13:55,447
No, my mother
certainly did not.
248
00:13:55,447 --> 00:13:56,722
What about you?
249
00:14:01,516 --> 00:14:04,964
It must be hard being on
the other side of the booth
250
00:14:04,964 --> 00:14:08,137
listening to all the worst
things that everybody did.
251
00:14:08,137 --> 00:14:09,585
I mean, I could never do it.
252
00:14:09,585 --> 00:14:11,826
I would really kill myself.
253
00:14:13,791 --> 00:14:16,344
I feel lucky most of the time.
254
00:14:16,344 --> 00:14:19,688
Some people, they
just struggle so much.
255
00:14:21,722 --> 00:14:25,964
Their demons make my demons
look like sea monkeys,
256
00:14:25,964 --> 00:14:28,137
and yeah, other times
I just feel useless.
257
00:14:28,137 --> 00:14:30,895
I mean, I can't help anybody.
258
00:14:30,895 --> 00:14:33,585
I can forgive people,
I can absolve people,
259
00:14:33,585 --> 00:14:36,653
but I can't change
anything for them.
260
00:14:38,757 --> 00:14:39,929
You help me.
261
00:14:42,171 --> 00:14:44,722
You've got me praying again.
262
00:14:44,722 --> 00:14:46,929
No, not just the Hail Mary's.
263
00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:49,102
I'm praying for people again
264
00:14:49,102 --> 00:14:51,757
because when you
pray you are forced
265
00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:54,860
to think about what
matters the most.
266
00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:58,275
I pray for you.
267
00:15:00,757 --> 00:15:01,722
Thank you.
268
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:06,551
I mean, you may be
the only one who does.
269
00:15:06,551 --> 00:15:07,551
God hears.
270
00:15:08,999 --> 00:15:12,688
Tell him I'm not crazy
about the bald spot.
271
00:15:12,688 --> 00:15:13,964
Tell him yourself.
272
00:15:13,964 --> 00:15:17,482
Oh, I don't want to
appear petty or vain.
273
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,033
It's not a sin to
care about how you look.
274
00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:25,860
Vanity is caring only
about how you look.
275
00:15:25,860 --> 00:15:27,688
You're very lenient.
276
00:15:30,171 --> 00:15:33,102
It's not a sin
to miss your hair,
277
00:15:34,551 --> 00:15:39,137
or to wish that you were
healthy, or to fear death.
278
00:15:39,137 --> 00:15:42,482
It's not death I
fear, it's the dying.
279
00:15:42,482 --> 00:15:44,653
You see the difference?
280
00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:45,653
Of course.
281
00:15:48,999 --> 00:15:52,309
I'm perfectly happy
with the Kingdom of God.
282
00:15:52,309 --> 00:15:54,378
I look forward to Heaven.
283
00:15:55,516 --> 00:15:59,033
I want to see the
people that I've lost.
284
00:15:59,033 --> 00:16:00,240
I want to see.
285
00:16:04,102 --> 00:16:05,619
I want to see Gus.
286
00:16:08,688 --> 00:16:09,895
The baby.
287
00:16:09,895 --> 00:16:11,826
The baby that you lost.
288
00:16:14,344 --> 00:16:15,929
I believe you will.
289
00:16:18,964 --> 00:16:21,102
Will he still be a baby?
290
00:16:26,791 --> 00:16:28,688
I hope he's full grown.
291
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,206
I always have this
image of him in my mind.
292
00:16:34,206 --> 00:16:37,584
He looks like his brothers,
but he's the handsomest,
293
00:16:37,584 --> 00:16:40,929
and he's the happiest because
he never had to go through
294
00:16:40,929 --> 00:16:44,722
all the BS of this world,
and he didn't have to be
295
00:16:44,722 --> 00:16:47,378
afraid of me to keep him in line
296
00:16:49,171 --> 00:16:52,860
or stupid on drugs
because of bitter parents
297
00:16:55,929 --> 00:16:57,757
not believing in love.
298
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:01,137
Maybe it's all true.
299
00:17:01,137 --> 00:17:03,999
[Bookie] Won't be long now.
300
00:17:03,999 --> 00:17:06,619
If you play your cards right.
301
00:17:07,757 --> 00:17:09,688
[sighing]
302
00:17:09,688 --> 00:17:10,515
Sorry.
303
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:15,413
I don't know how you
can believe in Heaven
304
00:17:15,413 --> 00:17:17,826
if you don't believe in Hell.
305
00:17:21,137 --> 00:17:22,309
You know what?
306
00:17:24,584 --> 00:17:25,413
I'm sorry.
307
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,895
When I said that you had
308
00:17:28,895 --> 00:17:30,413
more than a week's
worth of things to do,
309
00:17:30,413 --> 00:17:31,826
when I said that
your kidney operation
310
00:17:31,826 --> 00:17:34,999
wasn't an extraordinary measure,
it's completely your ...
311
00:17:34,999 --> 00:17:37,171
I know it's my decision.
312
00:17:38,102 --> 00:17:40,206
Don't worry, Father.
313
00:17:40,206 --> 00:17:43,033
Your sway over me
is not so complete.
314
00:17:43,033 --> 00:17:44,550
I barely know you.
315
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,653
I just don't want you to feel
316
00:17:46,653 --> 00:17:48,860
like I took any
options away from you.
317
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:51,413
Don't presume that you could.
318
00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:58,895
You're a little
afraid of yourself.
319
00:17:58,895 --> 00:18:02,033
Just keep out of
your own way, Father.
320
00:18:03,206 --> 00:18:05,619
Take this advice
from an old woman.
321
00:18:05,619 --> 00:18:08,206
You just say what you think.
322
00:18:08,206 --> 00:18:10,757
Everybody drives
their own car anyway.
323
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,688
You're a backseat
driver at best.
324
00:18:12,688 --> 00:18:13,999
Hey.
325
00:18:13,999 --> 00:18:16,137
I think of myself
as a headlights.
326
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,999
[laughing]
327
00:18:17,999 --> 00:18:21,550
People need you desperately
in their darkest hour,
328
00:18:21,550 --> 00:18:25,240
but when the sun
shines they ignore you.
329
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:26,515
Well, no.
330
00:18:26,515 --> 00:18:28,068
We do get to do a
lot of fun stuff.
331
00:18:28,068 --> 00:18:31,791
I've been to so many
wedding receptions.
332
00:18:31,791 --> 00:18:34,240
That's your idea of fun
333
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,240
because you'll never
have your own wedding.
334
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,826
Well, weddings are fun.
335
00:18:39,826 --> 00:18:41,206
Sometimes.
336
00:18:41,206 --> 00:18:43,240
It's the rest of the marriage
that's another story.
337
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:47,722
It's not necessarily a better
life than what you have.
338
00:18:47,722 --> 00:18:51,999
We're taught to think
of it as a higher calling.
339
00:18:51,999 --> 00:18:54,653
I don't see it that way anymore.
340
00:18:55,860 --> 00:18:59,240
It's just the calling
for me, I think.
341
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,344
I just don't see how God
would make anybody higher.
342
00:19:01,344 --> 00:19:05,515
I just feel like we all just
play our own part, you know?
343
00:19:06,999 --> 00:19:10,068
I don't know if I'll
be able to come back.
344
00:19:10,068 --> 00:19:13,068
If I don't have the
surgery I might come back,
345
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:15,860
but if I do I'll
have to recover,
346
00:19:17,412 --> 00:19:18,412
and I don't know if I'll be able
347
00:19:18,412 --> 00:19:21,446
to be up and walking around.
348
00:19:21,446 --> 00:19:23,102
I'll come to you.
349
00:19:23,102 --> 00:19:23,999
Wherever you are.
350
00:19:23,999 --> 00:19:24,826
I'll come to a hospital.
351
00:19:24,826 --> 00:19:25,999
I'll come to a hospice.
352
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,412
[laughing]
353
00:19:27,412 --> 00:19:30,033
My children would
think the sky had fallen.
354
00:19:30,033 --> 00:19:31,757
Well, the offer stands.
355
00:19:31,757 --> 00:19:35,068
You just put in a
call to the parish.
356
00:19:35,068 --> 00:19:37,240
I don't really
see that happening,
357
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,240
but I want to thank you.
358
00:19:41,550 --> 00:19:44,895
I didn't know how
much I needed to talk.
359
00:19:46,757 --> 00:19:50,929
You're going to make an
excellent priest and a good man.
360
00:19:53,033 --> 00:19:53,895
Thanks.
361
00:19:57,206 --> 00:19:58,550
Your absolution.
362
00:19:59,377 --> 00:20:00,929
Oh.
363
00:20:00,929 --> 00:20:03,653
You know, I think
you were right.
364
00:20:03,653 --> 00:20:08,240
I think all I ever really
wanted was to forgive myself,
365
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,446
and if after you read
that I can be forgiven
366
00:20:11,446 --> 00:20:12,619
do your magic.
367
00:20:14,308 --> 00:20:15,722
Are you gonna be
okay to get home?
368
00:20:15,722 --> 00:20:17,308
I'm fine.
369
00:20:17,308 --> 00:20:19,929
Bookie, what's your real name?
370
00:20:19,929 --> 00:20:24,275
I think Bookie is the
realest name I ever had.
371
00:20:24,275 --> 00:20:26,757
I don't want you to go.
372
00:20:26,757 --> 00:20:30,929
Not if you're still
contemplating suicide.
373
00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:35,206
You know I'm going to sin
between now and my death
374
00:20:35,206 --> 00:20:38,137
no matter what it
is, bad thoughts.
375
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,206
Maybe I'll probably curse God
376
00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:43,068
now that we're on
speaking terms.
377
00:20:43,068 --> 00:20:46,206
Just thought I'd
confess in advance.
378
00:20:46,206 --> 00:20:48,137
Still trying to cheat.
379
00:20:48,137 --> 00:20:50,999
Just like the math
test in college.
380
00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:53,377
Even now on the
biggest test in life.
381
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,274
I got away with it then.
382
00:20:55,274 --> 00:20:57,895
[somber music]
383
00:21:15,550 --> 00:21:16,377
Hi.
384
00:21:19,033 --> 00:21:20,722
You're the doctor?
385
00:21:21,860 --> 00:21:24,206
Is this awkward for you?
386
00:21:24,206 --> 00:21:25,722
It's fine.
387
00:21:25,722 --> 00:21:27,722
[Doctor] Come with me.
388
00:21:30,515 --> 00:21:31,860
Is it fine for you?
389
00:21:31,860 --> 00:21:34,515
[Doctor] It's completely fine.
390
00:21:39,377 --> 00:21:42,102
So, this is it right
here, this spot.
391
00:21:42,102 --> 00:21:43,205
What is it?
392
00:21:43,205 --> 00:21:44,377
It's a spot.
393
00:21:46,033 --> 00:21:48,033
Is it cancer?
394
00:21:48,033 --> 00:21:52,584
We don't know yet, but
I really don't think so.
395
00:21:52,584 --> 00:21:54,274
[Priest] Tumor?
396
00:21:54,274 --> 00:21:56,102
Maybe, but you know,
we just don't know
397
00:21:56,102 --> 00:21:57,688
if it's growing yet.
398
00:21:57,688 --> 00:21:59,377
Am I gonna die?
399
00:21:59,377 --> 00:22:00,653
Possibly.
400
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:01,619
Not of this.
401
00:22:03,137 --> 00:22:06,688
It's very small and
we know where it is.
402
00:22:06,688 --> 00:22:07,964
It's causing hallucinations.
403
00:22:07,964 --> 00:22:10,205
There could be some
neuroepithelial damage,
404
00:22:10,205 --> 00:22:12,068
but it's more likely
that your insomnia
405
00:22:12,068 --> 00:22:14,653
is what's actually causing
those hallucinations.
406
00:22:14,653 --> 00:22:16,239
It seems to me that the
visitations started first
407
00:22:16,239 --> 00:22:17,826
and caused the insomnia.
408
00:22:17,826 --> 00:22:22,412
That would be one explanation,
but not a scientific one.
409
00:22:22,412 --> 00:22:24,068
Could the thing
cause the insomnia?
410
00:22:24,068 --> 00:22:26,515
It could, but
we don't know yet.
411
00:22:26,515 --> 00:22:28,170
So, we don't really
know much of anything.
412
00:22:28,170 --> 00:22:30,791
Well, it's not like religion.
413
00:22:34,791 --> 00:22:35,999
So?
414
00:22:35,999 --> 00:22:37,137
We're gonna continue
to do some testing,
415
00:22:37,137 --> 00:22:38,481
but if it starts to grow
416
00:22:38,481 --> 00:22:40,343
then you're gonna
need some treatment.
417
00:22:40,343 --> 00:22:41,826
It's probably gonna
include radiation
418
00:22:41,826 --> 00:22:43,860
maybe some radio surgery,
419
00:22:43,860 --> 00:22:47,170
but that's only
gonna be if it grows.
420
00:22:47,170 --> 00:22:51,343
Well, and only if you want
to interfere with God's will.
421
00:22:54,999 --> 00:22:57,584
[gentle music]
422
00:23:12,068 --> 00:23:14,068
What are you thinking?
423
00:23:15,826 --> 00:23:18,068
I have a mass in my head.
424
00:23:20,068 --> 00:23:21,584
What's it about?
425
00:23:27,205 --> 00:23:29,619
It's about two millimeters.
426
00:23:32,170 --> 00:23:34,343
[sighing]
427
00:23:35,999 --> 00:23:38,343
[sniffling]
428
00:24:04,757 --> 00:24:07,170
? God forbid
429
00:24:08,619 --> 00:24:11,964
? It ever happens to me
430
00:24:13,205 --> 00:24:16,446
? Fine on the outside
431
00:24:16,446 --> 00:24:19,412
? Different story in
432
00:24:19,412 --> 00:24:21,826
? God forbid
433
00:24:23,481 --> 00:24:26,826
? It ever happens to me
434
00:24:27,791 --> 00:24:30,515
? What if it's in my genes
435
00:24:30,515 --> 00:24:33,860
? And how my story ends
436
00:24:34,791 --> 00:24:36,688
? Amen
437
00:24:50,205 --> 00:24:51,688
[Narrator] Next
time on Forgive Me.
438
00:24:51,688 --> 00:24:54,481
Listen to me, you're
holding onto a thought
439
00:24:54,481 --> 00:24:56,239
for your entire life.
440
00:24:58,308 --> 00:25:01,722
It's a fallacy that
makes sense to a boy.
441
00:25:01,772 --> 00:25:06,322
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