Original subtitles

[Narrator] Previously on Forgive Me.

I think Noelle would be better off here.

You were always so difficult.

I was difficult?

Gram, Christopher stole a car.

The girl stays 'til you sort yourself out.

Thank you.

I'm talking weeks, not months, not years.

Figure out what you're doing.

I've got my limits, and you're this close.

[rhythmic theme music]

[ambient music]

[groaning]

[distant whispering]

[Priest] Jesus Christ!

[Prelate] Enough of that!

Ow!

Look, you can't stay awake all night

and sleep in in the morning.

I don't have to be up.

You missed morning prayers.

Look, this isn't you.

I'm taking you to see my doctor now, so get up.

Get up.

Over the counter sleeping pills?

No sleep, just groggy the whole next day.

Are you under a lot of stress?

Yeah.

Unusual, something new?

Yeah.

Something that you could change?

I found out that I'm a father.

A father?

A biological father.

I already knew I'm the other kind.

Right, well that sounds stressful.

It's nightmares that have been keeping you up?

Yeah, yeah.

So, maybe talking to a therapist would help?

It's not just nightmares.

It's like waking nightmares, waking dreams.

We could be sitting here just talking like this,

and then I could have one of these dreams,

and then it just stops and I resume the conversation.

[Doctor] Well, if you're tired enough

you could fall asleep anywhere, anytime,

even for a few seconds.

That happens sometimes.

Other times?

I see things.

I hear them, and then it takes a while

to figure out they're not real.

I know there's not actually a dead guy on my ceiling

talking to me even if I do see him.

Could I be sick?

Bipolar, schizophrenic?

If you were schizophrenic you wouldn't

see a dead guy talking to you

and know that it shouldn't be happening.

If you saw a dead guy talking to you,

you'd talk back to him.

I don't want to label you a psychiatric patient just yet.

That's a system, and once you get into it

it's hard to get out of it,

and the drugs, once you're on them, it's hard to get off.

You're not sleeping, so that can cause hallucinations.

If we can get you sleeping we may have a cure.

I'm gonna prescribe you something a little stronger,

but I want you to see a neurologist.

Neurologist?

I just see something in your eye, the back of your eye.

Just to make sure it's nothing more than being tired.

So, how'd it go?

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

It's been a week since my last confession.

Yes, my son.

I masturbated.

You did?

How was that?

I was asleep.

I was half asleep.

It's a real problem since we got cable.

You know, films and things before bed, Two and a Half Men.

Father Gene's room sounds like a war zone some nights.

I didn't watch television, it was a dream.

I mean, it started as a dream.

These things happen.

It gets easier when you get older.

For all men, not just priests.

What were you thinking of?

I was dreaming about the mother of my child.

Really?

[Priest] Why?

There's something sweet about that.

It wasn't any of it sweet.

You have to think of different thoughts

when you become aroused.

You know, something that you don't find sexy.

Replacement thoughts.

Not things that upset you or that are sad.

You don't have to punish yourself,

just mundane, taking out the trash, raking the leaves, work.

You have to be careful not to

eroticize the replacement thought.

I couldn't rake the leaves for about five years.

[laughing]

Go on.

Hi, Father.

Sister John Dominic.

I haven't seen you here before.

Well, usually I go to Holy Mother

when I have something to confess,

which is less and less as the years go by,

but I heard there was some new blood,

so I thought I'd spread my sin around some.

Well, it's good to see you.

It's been a week since my last confession.

Okay.

I skipped communion.

It's Father Phil.

He's constantly touching his hair during the sacrament.

Touching the Eucharist, touching his hair,

touching the Eucharist.

I don't know what's Christ's body

and what's Father Phil's dandruff.

It's gross.

I can talk to Father Phil,

let him know that he's deterring people.

That would help.

Don't say I said so.

I mean, maybe you can say that slicking back his hair

during the sacrament is prideful, you know?

Not mention the brill cream on the Eucharist.

I'll be delicate, sister.

Thank you.

These things are.

I spent a lot of the week gossiping, I'm afraid.

The parish is buzzing lately.

You want to know what the gossip's about?

Well, if you feel it's part of your repentance.

I'm not sure.

The gossip is pretty much all about you these days, Father.

Is it?

Seems like you have quite a history.

[sighing]

Well, tongues will wag.

New priest in the big house and all.

We all have histories, Sister John Dominic,

but gossip and slander about them is a sin.

Certainly.

That's why I'm confessing it.

Well, it seems like a special trip out of your way.

No, no, no.

I just thought you should know that people are talking.

There's a rumor, a bastard child.

It's what they're saying.

That's a little bit archaic, isn't it Sister,

to demean a child?

It's Deuteronomy.

A bastard shall not enter the assembly of the Lord

even to his 10th generation.

That could be the legacy.

She's an innocent child.

She's like any child.

Is she?

No one recalls a christening.

She was.

Not Catholic.

You know, this hardly seems like a confession

Sister John Dominic, are you through?

[scoffing]

I'm sorry, I would have thought

that you would've been appreciative.

That you might want to have been forewarned

that your secret's out, not to the whole congregation yet,

but to the Sisters and some of the clergy.

I thought that maybe you

would want to be proactive, preemptive.

You know, Father, your reputation

is the reputation of this church.

It's not just yourself you're disgracing.

Are you angry with me, Sister?

I have no right, but I am disappointed.

Father, I've dedicated 23 years of my life

to the Catholic church.

I'm doing all of it right here in this diocese.

In three years or five years

you are going to be head of this parish,

and I will be subservient to you.

I am already subservient to you, and I accept that.

It's a little bit of a bitter pill,

but I learned to swallow my pride before your voice cracked.

It would go down a little bit easier

if you were a respectable man.

Respectable men don't get teenage girls pregnant,

and let them wander off to have the child without him.

God did that.

God did that.

So, He did.

Father.

They're gonna come after you.

You have a coveted spot.

There are not a lot of young men going into the priesthood,

but a lot of them would like your job,

and the older ones would love to stave off retirement.

They have a secret on you that could ruin you.

You're gonna have to get something on them.

Do your homework.

That's what I came to tell you.

Thank you.

You're welcome, Father.

[sniffling]

God the Father of Mercies

to the death and resurrection of your son,

you have reconciled yourself to the world,

and sent the Holy Spirit amongst us

for the forgiveness of sins.

Through the ministry of the church

may the Lord grant you pardon and peace,

and I absolve you from your sins

in the name of the Father and of the Son

and of the Holy Spirit.

- Amen. - Amen.

Thank you, Father.

Sister John Dominic.

Yes?

100 Hail Mary's.

[thudding]

[clattering]

[mystical music]

Forgive me, Father.

I'd been bad.

Put it out.

What do you want, Christopher?

I hear I'm an uncle.

Victoria.

I thought you were a virgin.

I'm impressed.

Thank you.

It wasn't supposed to be a contest.

Well, you would have lost.

How come I'm not the godfather?

[scoffing]

Well partly because of your completely godless existence,

and secondly I don't think that

they let you have children in prison.

You probably would have sold my kid for a pack of smokes.

I see your point, so how is fatherhood, Father?

You know, I've come close six or seven times myself,

but it always ended bad.

As far as you know.

True, who knows how many of them

I've got walking around South End?

Okay, Christopher.

If you want to talk I can meet you somewhere,

but I'm on the clock right now.

There's no one waiting to confess.

Well, there might be a rush.

Where are you staying?

Home.

Home?

Grams?

Of course.

Listen to me.

I just just got her to agree to look after my kid for me.

You're gonna F everything up.

Not this time.

You know, I've taken the blame

for pretty much everything that's gone wrong

with this family, but not this time.

You're not gonna pin this one on me,

but I'm sure you'll find a way.

Christopher, I never blamed you.

I didn't blame you for a single thing,

and I saw how you went from Point A to Point B,

so I made my own mistakes.

I know, and I'm loving it.

Seeing how you'd be judging me if I had the love child,

I get chills it's so good.

You're right.

You're right I would have judged you if it was you,

and I'm sorry.

Are you kidding?

I'm psyched.

Psyched to be an uncle.

I'm gonna take the kid to the first strip club.

You're gonna come running to me when they're 15

'cause they hate your guts.

I'm kidding.

Look I know I'm in the way, but I got nowhere.

I just need to lie low for a little bit.

Where have you been, Christopher?

I wonder, did you do something again?

No.

I'm broke.

Times are tough out there.

Haven't you noticed?

Gram doesn't have any money.

I just want to sleep in my own room.

[Priest] It's not our room anymore.

The couch then.

Listen to me, at some point

at some point child services, they're gonna come around,

and they're gonna check out

my child's living situation, okay?

There can't be an ex-con sleeping on the couch.

Look, I just want to see Grandpa before he dies, okay?

We were close.

Not like you.

You're a mama's boy, you know?

You must be fucking stupid.

I thought you'd actually want my help.

Well, thanks for setting the record straight, Father.

[banging]

[polka music]

Two or three?

You got the big apple, then the Charleston.

This is ridiculous.

Hey.

I got a big wedding coming up,

and the bride insists on a swing dance.

It's a whole craze.

Ton of YouTubers.

I could teach you.

I can't wait.

Take it from the top, okay?

Big apple.

- Now very good there. - And, the twist.

[laughing]

[Father Phil] That's my fault, I apologize.

You were doing great.

[Prelate] It wasn't that funny.

[laughing]

Do any of you know any priests with kids?

How would that work?

I know one.

I met one from Texas.

Texas?

Yeah, he was an Anglican priest.

In the 80's and 90's the entire Anglican church

had some bru-ha-ha about the rewriting of their holy book,

so his congregation was schism, so they turned Catholic,

and he became a Catholic too,

and went from being the vicar to being the priest.

Well, there you have it.

I never met one.

You're thinking about what it'd be like to be dad?

We all do when we're you know, 25, 30,

when all the people you grow up with start having babies.

We think about what we're missing.

We do not all.

Whose having kids at 25 these days?

Whatever, I'm just telling him it's normal.

Well, marriage and children

are the preoccupations of this world.

Our occupation is of the next world.

Is that supposed to help?

Well, it's the reason.

No.

Inheritance, that's the real reason.

Yeah.

Before the Middle Ages which is

half the history of Christianity,

priests were allowed to have multiple wives,

concubines, children, so Pope Pelagius

made all new priests agree that their children

couldn't inherit to clear up any confusion

about what belonged to the church

and what belonged to the priest.

Now, the priests didn't like it

so eventually they banned marriage for priests all together.

Illegitimate sons couldn't inherit.

Daughters didn't inherit anyway.

It was a money thing.

Well, that's not the way I was taught it.

Well, your education was lacking.

Until the 11th century there were too many priests

who considered the endowments and the gifts to the church

to be their own property, and they were acting like gentry

and passing it onto their sons.

Christ didn't marry and Christ didn't have children.

That's why.

Yeah, that's why.

1,000 years of tradition is not enough.

It's also good to be able to talk about things

when they bother you.

You can talk to me.

Nevermind Tango and Cash here.

It's a small price to pay to devote your life to God.

? Step into the light

? When the loneliness confounds you

? Step in step in

? Step into the light

? When Babylon confounds you

? Away

? Step in step in

? Step into the light

? Step in step in

? The light

[Narrator] Next time on Forgive Me.

I did ask my brother.

He said he'd help me.

How?

Well we didn't get into a plan, but I thought pills,

and then I read somewhere that you could

get the shot from a vet, what they use to kill dogs.

You want to be put down like a dog?

I just want to go to sleep and not wake up.

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