Original subtitles

[Narrator] Previously, on Forgive Me.

I'm on a schedule here, Father.

I want to make sure I get credit.

You're gonna die.

You want absolution before it happens.

Not long.

Weeks, months.

Did you lie to me?

I knew you didn't love me,

but at least I loved you enough to not ruin your life.

You deprived your child of a father.

You took away my chance at being happy.

I gave you your chance to be happy.

It's easier to hear confessions than to make them.

I recently found out that I have a daughter.

I need your help.

You've had enough of my help.

For 10 years, your mother fought to keep you

and your brothers alive.

When she dropped you off here, she couldn't fight anymore.

What's your excuse?

It's our own God damned mess, clean it up.

Nightmares?

Visitations, maybe.

[speaking in foreign language]

[grunting]

[upbeat music]

[singing in foreign language]

We're out of cream.

I'm sorry.

Okay, I forgot.

I'll get some more today.

There's milk.

Did you do the order for mass?

No, not yet.

I'll do the order for mass.

I want you to see a doctor.

What's the matter with him?

Nothing.

You want me to call my guy?

No, no it's fine.

I've got a family doctor, I'm from around here.

He's not sleeping.

I got a lot on my mind.

[footsteps thumping]

[door clicking]

I've changed.

[Priest] Where it matters?

It all matters, believe me.

You're supposed to--

Oh, forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

It's been however long it's been since my last confession.

It all seems a blur.

You've been very busy.

No, not busy that way.

Just coping.

It crept up on me.

Are you in pain?

It's not so bad today.

Maybe when I've been sitting on this bench for 10 minutes.

[Priest] We can go sit somewhere else.

No, no, I like it here.

It blocks out everything else.

That's the idea.

A church is like a theater, isn't it?

I don't think so.

It is, architecturally.

You have rows of seats and a stage.

The pulpit is raised up like a stage.

And beautiful lights,

candles, music of the choir,

the special effects, when the cantor waves the smoke.

It's the biggest show.

I don't mean it in a bad way.

I'm not saying it's hollow theatricality.

I'm just saying that theaters are built to emulate churches,

that's all.

You were confessing your 51 years of sin.

We ran out of time.

Where was I?

We covered the unavoidable abortion,

and we covered the divorce.

The divorce, what about the marriage?

[Priest] I'm sure there were a lot of sins committed

in a marriage.

The whole marriage was a sin.

We got married in city hall.

You weren't married in a church.

We were, eventually.

The city hall, you see, it was convenient.

He was out of money, he didn't have much money,

and my parents didn't approve.

So we got married in city hall,

but his mother was beside herself.

So then we got married in a church again,

by a priest.

[laughing] Still didn't help.

It didn't help the marriage?

The sin.

Oh.

My girlfriend, my roommate.

Well, she had been my roommate, Mary.

She got married and I was to be her maid of honor.

She wanted me to be her maid of honor,

but the priest said no.

[Priest] Because?

Because we married in city hall.

That was the big sin.

He said I was living in sin.

That we weren't married legally.

So I wasn't fit to be a bridesmaid,

and I could be forgiven if I confessed to living in sin.

[Priest] What did you say?

I said, no way!

I said, I'm not living in sin.

I'm married, I'm legally married.

By that time I had a baby on the way.

I didn't want him to be born a bastard,

so we got married again, in a church, by a priest.

They still didn't let me be maid of honor.

We don't really vet the bridesmaids anymore.

Oh, I know.

I'm stunned by what passes for a bridesmaid these days.

You don't even have to be a maid.

Okay, so the marriage was a sin.

I'll just dock you for the time prior to the church wedding.

How long was that?

Seven months, about.

About as long as after the church wedding.

[Priest] You have a husband now?

I'm a widow.

A divorcee and a widow.

[Priest] Sorry.

Oh, well, you better let me be the one to be sorry,

or we'll be here all day.

I enjoy your company.

Well, don't get used to it.

Any news?

They don't really tell you much, actually.

[Priest] Well, you need to advocate for yourself.

Oh, this chapter of my life is writing itself.

I'm just trying to keep up.

I had hemorrhoids, that's how I found out.

I'd had blood tests.

I'd had some bleeding, and then I went on vacation,

and when I got back I had hemorrhoids.

So I took myself that night to the emergency room

at the hospital, and the doctor said,

yeah, you have hemorrhoids,

but we're more worried about the cancer.

It was in my chart.

[Priest] That's awful.

I don't think there's any good way to find out.

I stole from my mother.

How much?

$5.

[Priest] Ah, that's not that much.

Well it is by 1950's dollars.

You have to account for inflation in your sentence.

Penance.

What did you buy with it?

[Woman] What has--

Just give me a sense of what it was worth at the time.

I don't know.

Perfume,

a movie ticket,

a vanilla ice cream float, and a soda.

Sounds like you know.

To the nickel.

That was a good evening.

[Priest] She wouldn't have given you the money?

To spend it with Tony Pizzoli?

It was harmless.

I mean, it was some sci-fi thing and soda.

And there was, well, she wouldn't have allowed it.

And there you go.

I'm glad I stole that $5.

I have very warm memories of stealing that $5.

[Priest] You must be a little sorry.

I honestly don't think I am.

But you confessed to it.

Well, I have guilt.

I mean, I have guilt and shame.

Doesn't that count for something?

It'll work.

I don't want you to go easy on me.

I won't.

[coughing]

Tell me about your family.

Ah, they can confess their own sins.

Hmm.

Have you told your daughter?

I'm sorry, this visit was rather impromptu.

I didn't plan anything to say.

Last time I practiced.

Why did you come in today?

I just wanted to talk to somebody who's sane.

Everybody's so crazy.

People turn crazy when there's cancer.

My son says he's mourned me already.

He said he put down the phone when he heard,

and he experienced the grief of losing me.

And now he's, I don't know,

he's in some post-mortem or something.

You know, he's moved to a new state mentally.

He's in denial.

He's in gaga land.

He's so advanced spiritually.

But then I didn't raise him Catholic,

so that's why he's living in the new age.

And that's a sin, isn't it?

To not raise your children Catholic.

They weren't baptized?

[Bookie] Just the first one.

I'm not sure.

I didn't want to pay the money for the second one.

The third one, by the time he came around,

I was done with the church.

How much is it for last rites?

For you?

Family discount.

[Bookie laughing]

The sacraments aren't for sale.

I mean, you and your family, you could make a donation

if you want, but it's not obligatory, you know?

Well, I'm sorry for being cynical.

[Priest] Cynicism's not a sin.

Well, it should be.

It's done me more damage than stealing $5 from my mother.

Christ embraces doubt.

St. Thomas was a doubter.

Christ, he also experienced doubt.

I thought I was sinning a lot more than I was.

Apparently, I was just being a cow.

Well, a sin is something that we say, or do, or think.

Or, I mean, you don't say, or don't do.

Well, what about things I don't think?

[Priest] Well, I don't think that you can be punished

for an absence of thought.

Unless it was willful, but, I mean,

that falls under thinking.

So thoughtlessness is not a sin.

I don't know.

It depends.

You seem to be rather recalcitrant today.

I'm thinking of killing myself.

[sighing] I can't be flexible on this one.

That's a sinful thought.

I have a brother.

I was thinking of asking him to help.

To help you kill yourself?

I think he's wanted to kill me since I was 12.

I was a terrible sister.

So fresh-mouthed.

I thought I was smarter than him.

And he wasn't allowed to beat me up,

so I was merciless, mercilessly condescending.

It still wouldn't be a reward for him

to help you kill yourself.

It'd be a punishment.

He'd carry it for the rest of his life.

You don't know my brother.

All of this is a long way off.

You've got a lot of life left in you.

That depends.

[Priest] On?

On these treatments.

The chemo, the radiation therapy.

This suppressor and that stimulant.

I just, I'm just not sure that I want to do it.

Every day that it buys me, it buys me a day of vomiting.

[Priest] Those are difficult decisions.

Yeah, I know.

Don't give me lines.

Sometimes cliches are just true.

What would you do?

I wouldn't kill myself.

I would have said that two months ago.

What would you actually do?

Would you have these treatments?

If I needed the time that they'd grant me.

Would it be a sin if I didn't tell my daughter.

It would be very wrong.

I don't know if would be a sin,

but it would be very wrong.

Maybe I should find a meaner priest.

Ooh, I know some.

I don't want her to crumble.

It's one thing to hear that your mother died.

It's another thing to watch it.

It's another thing to know that your mother loves you

enough to see you before she dies.

I could talk to her for you.

No, I don't think she'd understand that.

[Priest] Just an offer.

I appreciate your help.

It's what I do.

It's helpful just to talk.

I never cheated on my husband.

I did think about it a lot.

[Priest] Good!

Good that I sinned.

Good that you recognized the sin of the thought,

and that it stopped you from committing a worse sin.

That's actually, that's something that I've been

thinking about a lot lately.

Are you having sinful thoughts?

I mean, yeah, I have sinful thoughts.

Everybody has sinful thoughts.

Without temptation, there'd be no redemption.

Why are we supposed to feel guilty then?

For having the same thoughts as everybody else?

Maybe because if we didn't feel guilty,

then you'd end up acting on those feelings.

You'd muck up everybody's lives, mostly your own.

It was a torture for me growing up.

Always worried about what everybody would think,

or thinking I was gonna be exposed as a fraud or a freak.

[Priest] Every kid is afraid of that,

you know, regardless of their religions.

I mean, do you think your own children are exempt

from those feelings because they weren't raised Catholic?

I think I made them feel the same way

that my mother did me.

I wish I could tell them things.

I wish I could tell them not to be afraid.

To be whoever they want to be,

not to worry what other people think,

especially not what I think.

I don't think they knew my.

I don't think they knew that my love was unconditional.

I thought that I would keep them in line.

That I would protect them from embarrassing themselves.

But now I would say, embarrass the crap out of yourself,

if it makes you feel happy.

Tell 'em.

Tell 'em to embarrass the crap outta ya

on the way to happiness.

I think I will.

And then you give yourself the same permission.

That is a contradiction.

The whole basic tenet of the religion

is not to do what you want, but to follow the rules.

You can still be yourself.

You can't not have sinful thoughts.

You know, don't revel in them.

Just be able to forgive yourself.

Don't want to put you out of a job.

The point of being forgiven by God

is so that you can forgive yourself.

Is that why I'm here?

To forgive myself?

Are you afraid of going to hell?

I don't know.

But I am here to forgive myself.

I think you're right.

God wants to forgive you too.

Well, I'm not making it easy on him,

because I keep forgetting what I'm supposed to confess.

I think you should write it down.

Think about it, when you've got a little bit of time

in your waiting.

Make a list.

Be thorough, let everything go.

And then you give it to me.

Huh, where have you been all my life?

[Priest] I'll give it to God,

and He's always been right here.

I don't know how to do this, gracefully.

You're well on your way.

God the Father of mercies,

through the death and resurrection of Your Son,

You have reconciled Yourself to the world

and sent the Holy Spirit among us

for the forgiveness of sins.

Through the ministry of the church,

may the Lord grant you peace and pardon

and I absolve you of your sins.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son,

and of the Holy Spirit, amen.

Amen.

Thank you.

[door thumping]

[faint music]

Gran?

Hey.

Hi.

I want you to meet somebody.

This is my friend, Noelle.

Noelle, this is Gran.

Hi.

Uh, do you want some milk?

Have a seat.

Good, yeah.

I'll get you some.

[glass clinking]

[Novalea] What are you doing?

I wanted you to meet her.

I wanted you to look at her in her eyes.

It's all it took for me.

I could take part time work.

They won't go for it.

You're supposed to be learning.

You know when this lot retires, that's it.

You'll be doing all three jobs.

I do Father Phil's job now.

You're a good kid.

You'd bring a lot of hope to this parish.

I'm not a kid.

Hey, I have a kid.

Who doesn't know.

I mean, if she were to move in with us,

then maybe her mother, or my grandmother,

could help with some of the expenses.

Her mother wants her to live at the rectory?

I don't know.

No.

The church could never get involved in a custody battle.

I just need to know what my options are.

I need to know if I even have any options.

You need to think about your child,

and you need to think about yourself,

and your congregation.

People, they like their heroes one dimensional.

They don't like their politicians having affairs,

or their great generals sending filthy emails.

Priest who's a baby daddy?

It loses moral authority.

Then what do I do?

Well, are you under direct pressure to do anything?

Is the mother asking for money?

No.

Well, let sleeping dogs lie.

Then I really do lose my moral authority.

[Prelate sighing]

So I guess I already lost it.

Well, don't forget the coffee cream.

[TV horse hooves clopping]

[TV horse whinnying]

[man on TV speaking faintly]

[door closing]

What you watching?

Did you get the milk?

I thought you told me to get cream?

[Gene sighing]

[gentle music]

[footsteps thumping]

[odd voice speaking faintly]

[knocking on door]

[voice speaking faintly]

[air thrumming]

[breathing heavily]

[faint praying]

You okay?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good.

? We shall

? We shall inherit what went wrong

? We shall inherit what went wrong

? Use what we took for granted

? We shall inherit what went wrong

? Use what we took for granted

? For granted

? Ah

[Narrator] Next time, on Forgive Me.

Nobody knows what goes on in these confession boxes,

and that's the bloody trouble.

There are reasons for that secrecy.

And you use that secrecy to frighten people

and to keep them under control.

Have any of you ever been asked to break the seal?

Of the confessional?

Somebody asked you to do that?

I know that there is a reason that you came

to the church today.

I will never come back to your church.

Did he commit a crime.

[air thrumming]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0