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1
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,600
Please enjoy the music
while your party is reached.
2
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,200
- Hello?
- So what do you think?
3
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,080
- About what?
- About tomorrow.
4
00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:30,840
It's our first day of high school.
5
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:34,080
If we want to be popular,
we just have to be proactive.
6
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,000
Calm your proactive ass down.
7
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,520
Saying you want to be popular
guarantees it isn't gonna happen.
8
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,000
I'm gonna get a girlfriend.
9
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:42,080
You think that's possible?
10
00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:43,960
Anything's possible, Wade.
11
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,120
Just don't be needy.
12
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,360
You got to let it come to you.
13
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:47,600
And one more thing.
14
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,200
From now on...
15
00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:51,840
I don't want you calling me Ryan.
16
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:53,920
Call me T-Dog.
17
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,760
- T-Dog?
- Yep.
18
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,560
- What does the "T" stand for?
- I don't know.
19
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,560
- But it sounds better than R-Dog.
- Yeah.
20
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,200
You know, like, if a hot girl
went up to you, and she goes
21
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:05,600
"Hey, have you met T-Dog?"
22
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,080
"Man, did you see
what T-Dog did today?"
23
00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,720
"Man, that T-Dog is crazy!"
24
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,200
That sounds like a guy
every woman would want to know.
25
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:14,880
Hey, do I need a nickname?
26
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:15,960
You have one.
27
00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:17,160
Skeletor.
28
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,000
That was last year.
I look good now. I'm filling out.
29
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,440
All right, name one part
of your body that filled out, Wade.
30
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,920
Name one part of your body
that isn't filled out.
31
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,320
I'm not trying to offend you.
32
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,320
I'm just saying you shot up too fast
and you're freakishly skinny.
33
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,160
You're too fat
and that's equally unattractive.
34
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:32,880
- You wanna go there?
- I'm sorry.
35
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,600
It's just, I want things
to go well, you know?
36
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,400
Sorry I said you're
freakishly skinny.
37
00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:39,720
- It's okay.
- You just are.
38
00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:42,360
Hey, go to sleep!
It's three o'clock in
39
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:43,440
- the morning! What are you, crazy?
- Sorry.
40
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,520
- Is that your stepdad?
- No one.
41
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:45,600
- Give me that phone! Give it!
- It's...
42
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,680
You're in high school now.
Don't take his...
43
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:49,880
Go to sleep.
44
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,960
How about some chicks
on the walls in here?
45
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,400
It's like a nerd paradise.
46
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,640
Time to make the donuts.
47
00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:31,600
Touchdown!
48
00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:33,160
We won! We won the game!
49
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,400
- And Wade loses again!
- Get out of my room!
50
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,920
- Dad said get up.
- He's not my dad. He's your dad.
51
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,760
Fine, the guy who does your mom
says get up.
52
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,080
- Just leave!
- Loser!
53
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:47,040
Morning, sunshine.
54
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,120
First day of school.
55
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:50,760
- Mom!
- Oh, my God!
56
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,640
Since when did you start
sleeping naked?
57
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,320
I'm in high school now,
don't you remember?
58
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,400
I don't like elastic
squeezing on my ass when I sleep!
59
00:02:58,480 --> 00:02:59,600
Okay.
60
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,280
Hey! What are you doing
in this shower?
61
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:07,000
Dawn? Rachel, that's right.
Nice to see you.
62
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,280
"Put your hands up"
63
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,400
"Put your hands up"
64
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,080
"I'm the best white rapper"
65
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,000
"You've ever seen"
66
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,320
A hair!
67
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:24,800
- Oh, my God!
- Look at that.
68
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,680
Thank you, ladies!
69
00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:32,440
What's up, winners? You stoked?
70
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:33,520
Pedal to the metal?
71
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:34,960
- Yeah.
- All right. Who's a winner?
72
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:36,120
- I am!
- I am!
73
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,600
Morning!
74
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,920
Look at you... with your magic stick.
75
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,160
- What do you think?
- Magic is stupid.
76
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,120
No, no, honey.
77
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,560
- Mom!
- What?
78
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,640
You forgot the sausages!
79
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,040
- I'll get the sausages.
- Come on.
80
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,160
I'm hungry.
81
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:53,920
All right, I'll get the sausages.
82
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:56,560
Excuse me, listen,
I'm really sorry to bother you.
83
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,440
My family and I, we just
ran out of gas...
84
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,040
and we're trying to get
to Disneyland.
85
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,000
We're on our way to church.
86
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,280
Maybe that's where you ought to go.
87
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,240
Thank you. Have a great day.
88
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,280
- Can you help out a veteran?
- Not today.
89
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,080
- Get away from the car.
- Honey, roll up the window.
90
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:10,200
Get away!
91
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,160
- What's your name?
- Drillbit.
92
00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,120
Listen, Drillbit, I wasn't
born yesterday.
93
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,200
I don't want you using this...
94
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:18,200
on any marijuana
or rye whiskey, okay?
95
00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,800
- You got my word on it.
- You know what?
96
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,200
I'm gonna write
"not for pot" on there.
97
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,960
- You don't have to write.
- Yeah.
98
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:26,880
"Not for pot."
99
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:27,960
You're gonna feel pretty silly...
100
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,680
if you try to buy weed
with that, won't you?
101
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:32,400
Remember, put your
best foot forward.
102
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:33,600
People decide what they
think about you...
103
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,400
in the first five seconds.
104
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,560
You know, you should hit the weights
with the boys and me.
105
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:38,840
I'll pass.
106
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:40,240
We'll get you in the gym.
We'll beef you up.
107
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:41,600
Look at these guys.
Show off.
108
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,840
Give him a gun shot.
Give him a crab.
109
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:46,680
Worship the sun.
110
00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,320
- Yeah, look at these guys.
- They're freaks.
111
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,400
Not in my house!
112
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,600
- Have a great day.
- Okay, I love you, Dad.
113
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,880
I love you, too.
Have fun at school, Ryan. Bye.
114
00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,200
So what'd your dad say?
115
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:03,800
He told me to have fun.
116
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,080
Wow, great parenting.
117
00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,200
I don't know how
we're surviving without him.
118
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,720
Sorry.
119
00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:10,080
It's okay.
120
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,280
He's a piece of shit, anyway.
121
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,000
Thank you, honey.
122
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,080
Enchanted?
123
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,280
Light change. Okay.
124
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,360
I love you.
125
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,080
You're late today.
126
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,840
Hey, get a job.
127
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:27,120
You get a job.
128
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,120
I already got one,
giving money to you.
129
00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,440
- How're you doing, Mrs. Lampanelli?
- All right.
130
00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:33,280
You look beautiful today.
131
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,160
You're a liar. But it works for me.
132
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,960
- Go on, get out of here, you nut!
- You earned it.
133
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:40,160
And don't spend it on food.
Porn only!
134
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,720
First day of high school.
135
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:48,400
It's kind of scary.
136
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:50,560
Yeah, it sucks taking the bus.
137
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,240
Sure, last year we were the oldest...
138
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,520
so we got to sit
in the back of the bus
139
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,400
but now we'll probably
have to sit in the front...
140
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,080
with the losers.
141
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,160
We'll be all right.
142
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,600
You have to have
a proactive attitude...
143
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,720
if you wanna be popular
in high school.
144
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:07,480
People decide what they
think of you...
145
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,400
in the first five seconds.
146
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,640
I think you're a dork.
147
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:18,600
Oh, Wade.
148
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,000
- Oh, no.
- This is uncool.
149
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,880
We can't start high school
like this.
150
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,320
You got to be shitting me.
Come on.
151
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,440
- Please, am I dreaming here?
- No.
152
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,520
We're never allowed
to buy the same shirt again!
153
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,200
Whoever sees it first
gets to buy it.
154
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,720
You guys should wear
red ribbons in your hair, too.
155
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,760
See? We both look like dorks.
Go change.
156
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:37,200
No! I'm the one who was
planning on wearing this.
157
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:40,960
Wade,
I run the mile in twenty-one minutes!
158
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,320
How fast do you think I can go?
159
00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:47,680
- Go! Hurry!
- I'm going!
160
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:51,360
Wade, bus!
161
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,040
- Perfect!
- Come on!
162
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,720
What a way to start
high school.
163
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,600
Let me guess. Two-for-one sale
at Hot Topic?
164
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,000
Losers!
165
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:05,080
Dorks!
166
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:06,640
We're dead.
167
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,280
First day of our
high school careers.
168
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:18,680
All right.
169
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:21,400
Let's light this fuse
and see what happens.
170
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,080
- Let's go, man.
- All right.
171
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,320
Are you guys part of
a bowling team?
172
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:34,920
Last one.
173
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,680
Hey, at least it'll be easy
to find each other.
174
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,960
Yeah. I'll just look for the kid
with the same shirt.
175
00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:46,440
Come on!
176
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,040
No, you have to spin it
a few times first...
177
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:49,440
to get it to work.
178
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,040
Thank you.
179
00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:59,800
No, wait! Wait!
180
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,080
- What are you guys doing?
- Now, shut it.
181
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,200
- No, thanks.
- Guys!
182
00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:04,800
- Get out of the way!
- Man!
183
00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,080
- Here we go.
- But that... That's not for me.
184
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,600
That's for my books!
185
00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:09,720
I am not a book!
186
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,360
- Get in there!
- This is bad.
187
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,240
- Please!
- This is good.
188
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,280
At least we know we're not
the biggest dorks in school.
189
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:17,680
- Please, please, please!
- Maybe we should say something.
190
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,040
It's survival of the fittest.
191
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,120
I've got to say something.
192
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,520
I got to. I have to.
193
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:24,000
Say something? It's hilarious.
The kid fits in the locker.
194
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,960
- Come on. That's not funny.
- Somebody, help!
195
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,400
This is the dumbest thing
I've ever done.
196
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,720
- Help! Please!
- Stop!
197
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,760
I mean, you don't have to, but...
198
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:42,120
Harry Potter.
199
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,560
You need to keep
your big mouth shut.
200
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,200
Yeah, that's what
I've been trying to tell him.
201
00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:50,960
- Hey!
- Run! Everybody run!
202
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:52,280
It's not safe here!
203
00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:55,320
Hey, check this out.
Matching shirt geeks.
204
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:56,400
Oh, my god.
205
00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:58,320
Yo, Ron, these bitches
really wanna wear the same shirt.
206
00:08:58,400 --> 00:08:59,720
Let's make them
wear the same shirt.
207
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,200
- Sounds good.
- Yeah.
208
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,040
The fat one here,
the skinny one here.
209
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,160
There.
210
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,880
You better keep that shit on
'cause if I see you...
211
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,400
trying to take it off
you're dead.
212
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:15,960
And you know what happens
if one of you dies?
213
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,320
Both of you dies. 'Cause you're
Siamese queers, bitches!
214
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,040
That's very cute.
215
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:30,320
You look like those Velcro monkeys
who hug each other.
216
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:33,800
How was school, Wade?
217
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:34,880
We made so many friends...
218
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,320
I can't even remember
all their names.
219
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,160
Great! You got to be
in it to win it.
220
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,480
- I am in it!
- Great.
221
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:42,800
Yeah!
222
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,280
- Yeah.
- So school went well?
223
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,960
It was great.
It couldn't have gone better.
224
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:51,400
It was the shirt, right?
I'll have to get you more of those.
225
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,960
Hey! What are you doing?
That's my stuff!
226
00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:56,080
This is city property.
227
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,080
Nobody's supposed to be
camping out here.
228
00:09:58,160 --> 00:09:59,720
Your stuff's in the dumpster
around the corner.
229
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:00,960
In the dumpster?
230
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:02,040
Come on.
231
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,920
My taxes pay for your salary.
232
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,400
You don't pay taxes.
233
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:06,840
You don't even have a job.
234
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,920
What else you wanna remind me of?
That I don't have good health care?
235
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,760
That I don't belong to a good gym?
236
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,600
- Go back to the village people!
- Back up!
237
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,320
God damn!
238
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,240
All right, today is the first day
of our high school careers.
239
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:21,880
Yes, it is.
240
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,440
There she is.
241
00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,680
That's the girl who came up to me
at my locker.
242
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:35,880
Make your move.
243
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,280
What move?
244
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:38,880
I don't have a move.
245
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,120
All right, thanks for signing up.
246
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:55,840
How're you doing?
247
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,080
Is this your first time...
248
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,720
- signing up for the Heritage Club?
- Yeah, it is.
249
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,520
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.
250
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:06,880
What'd you sign up for?
251
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,160
Photography and...
252
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:10,400
Asian Heritage.
253
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:11,560
Asian Heritage?
254
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,160
- I like your commitment.
- Yeah.
255
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,440
- I likqe it a lot.
- Hey, buddies! Remember me?
256
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,560
- Hi.
- Oh, Jesus H.
257
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:20,800
Oh, God.
258
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,040
Guys, why aren't you wearing them?
259
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,840
Why are you talking to us?
260
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,880
I just wanted to say thank you
for helping me out yesterday and all.
261
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,360
You guys are definitely the type
of people whom I wanna hang out with.
262
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,760
- Yeah.
- Hi, I'm Emmit Oosterhaus.
263
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,720
- Hi.
- Wade. That's T-Dog.
264
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:37,880
T-Dog?
265
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,840
Dude, that's a really cool nickname.
266
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,920
Hey, can you guys
give me a nickname?
267
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,000
We need to ditch this guy.
He's like a stray cat.
268
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,880
Once you feed him,
he'll never go away, okay?
269
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,560
Hey, no secrets, T-Dog.
270
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,080
- I'm off to U.S. History.
- U.S. History.
271
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:52,560
Hey, look!
The Siamese queers had a baby.
272
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:55,040
I guess that makes them triplets
now, doesn't it?
273
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:57,720
Actually, we still
wouldn't be triplets.
274
00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:00,160
You see, they'd be my parents,
and I'd be the baby.
275
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,120
Don't get smart with me. I said
you're triplets and I think that...
276
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,320
you guys need to get into his shirt
and be triplets.
277
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:07,680
- We can do that.
- You know what?
278
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,200
Emmit, shut up.
279
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,400
Look, you really have to
do this crap, guys?
280
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:15,280
Come on, give us a break.
It's the second day of school.
281
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,040
- Hey, I like this kid.
- Yeah.
282
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,680
Double Stuf's got an attitude.
283
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:26,960
Yeah. We have to do this shit
because it's hilarious.
284
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,960
This school is boring.
285
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,880
Watching you freak out amuses me.
286
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,280
And, yeah, it's just
the second day of school.
287
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:36,840
So guess what?
288
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:42,760
It's gonna keep coming
and coming and coming!
289
00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,000
Party time!
290
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:51,080
- Stop peeing on me!
- Wait! Wait! No!
291
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,320
He pissed himself. What a loser.
292
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:09,360
Help.
293
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,200
Help me!
294
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:17,880
- Is that Mario Lopez, dude?
- Whoever he is, he's cute!
295
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,240
Take his pants off! Pants off!
296
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:44,080
- Up, down, up...
- Write your name!
297
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:54,760
No! Please, don't!
No! Don't!
298
00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:00,360
Bernie?
299
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,320
- Come on, give me one match, here.
- That's funny.
300
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:06,760
- All I need is one.
- Yeah, I like it.
301
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,520
- Will you just give up?
- Damn it! Look at that.
302
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:13,080
God, I can't even get one card!
Not one thing!
303
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,240
State of California
just robbed me, Don.
304
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,800
You saw it.
305
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,440
You'd think that... Where's
my quarter? Did you see my...
306
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,120
- You're always looking at me.
- Is the pill bottle...
307
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:24,200
I forget, is that the castle
308
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,640
- or is that a rook?
- Don, did you just take my quarter?
309
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:29,080
No, I didn't take
your quarter, Drillbit.
310
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,160
Not my fault you can't
keep track of your finances.
311
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:32,320
I don't know why you're spending
all your money
312
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:35,080
- on this dumb stuff, anyway.
- You're unbelievable.
313
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,320
I got to get out of here. Hey, you
guys, I can't take this anymore, man.
314
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:42,640
Rich people don't like us,
and the tourists are scared of us.
315
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:43,720
When they see Bernie
316
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,120
- they're terrified.
- Terrified.
317
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,240
They're not scared of me, I'm sexy.
318
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,880
- Sanitizer?
- Yeah.
319
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:51,640
Yeah. Thanks, man.
320
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,000
I just get...
321
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,880
I'm like a bird.
I just wanna fly north.
322
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,080
I want to...
323
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,440
I'd like to go to Canada.
324
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,520
What was it last year? I think it was
325
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:01,600
"I was gonna go to Iceland."
326
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:02,680
- Reykjavik.
- No, no.
327
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,760
- Where's that?
- Yeah, but the thing about Canada
328
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,320
if you go high enough north...
329
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,840
- That's right.
- the government pays you...
330
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:09,160
- to take the land.
- That's the truth.
331
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:10,320
Yeah. Lookit, man...
332
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:11,880
the beer's twice as strong.
333
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,640
They don't lock the doors that
should appeal to a man like you.
334
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,880
And what about
a British Columbian girl?
335
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,120
Does that sound like
a pretty potent mix?
336
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,160
Yeah, that's not too bad.
I kind of like that.
337
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:22,720
Okay, now, man, check this out.
338
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,640
One-way flight to Canada, $287.
339
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,040
You got to throw in fifty bucks
for bribing, what're they called
340
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:29,840
- the Federales, the...
- Mounties.
341
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,480
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Mounties.
342
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,040
Another...
343
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,080
I want a good winter
jacket, eighty bucks.
344
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,920
So we're talking $387...
345
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,760
and it's a new life
for your old hombre, Drillbit.
346
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:40,840
I dig it, man.
347
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,480
Follow the dream.
Chase that thing.
348
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:43,960
How you gonna come up with
that kind of money, though?
349
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:45,440
Get a job.
350
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:47,920
I was an Army Ranger. There are
a lot of people dying for that.
351
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,640
Watch this kid play Hendrix.
He really jams. Look at him.
352
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,160
Oh, yeah, there he goes.
353
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,960
Yeah, I like how he looks
a little bit like Hendrix.
354
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,520
Yeah! I'm gonna give him a buck.
I'll give him a couple bucks.
355
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,240
A buck? Give him a compliment, man!
356
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,320
Give me a buck!
357
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:20,320
Why is he in my house?
358
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,200
Are we trying to attract
after-school bullies?
359
00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:25,760
I'm here because
Wade invited me to be here.
360
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:27,520
Because I'm your friend now.
361
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:31,680
This fantasy land you live in,
Emmit, are there rides?
362
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:34,440
Stop picking on him, all right?
This is our guy.
363
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:35,960
I don't want him to be our guy.
364
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,720
Well, the good news is...
365
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,320
I think I found
a solution to our problems.
366
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,440
- Kill Emmit?
- No, bear with me.
367
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:43,520
This might sound stupid...
368
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,200
but I was on the Internet
last night...
369
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:46,520
and there's a bunch of sites...
370
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,920
where we can hire
a professional bodyguard.
371
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,080
What do you mean by bodyguard?
372
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,320
Like he beats up kids that bother us.
373
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,680
A bodyguard?
374
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,240
Wade, that's the dumbest idea
I've ever heard.
375
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,440
We should just be men
and fight these kids!
376
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,160
Are you serious?
377
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,320
Of course not.
I've never been in a fight.
378
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,160
Have you seen those
high school fights on YouTube?
379
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:08,840
Kids are brutal.
380
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:13,920
He gave us an earthquake
when we were peeing in the urinal.
381
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,040
He shoved me in a locker.
382
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:19,120
And he put my head in his shirt
and called us Siamese queers.
383
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:23,720
How's that funny?
384
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,480
It's not funny. It's just...
385
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:28,280
it's rare that you know,
kids say things that surprise me.
386
00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:31,480
Siamese queers.
I'd never heard that one.
387
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,640
What would you like me to do?
388
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,800
We just want it to stop.
389
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:40,360
So are they pretty much free to say
whatever they want?
390
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,360
Or am I allowed to defend myself?
391
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,840
Oh, no. Principal Doppler, I thought
this was gonna be anonymous.
392
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:50,920
In this country, we give the accused
the chance to face his accusers.
393
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,480
Terry, come over here
for a second, will you?
394
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,120
Now we've known each other for...
395
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:55,240
Yeah, have a seat.
396
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:56,320
What's your take on this?
397
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:57,440
Hey, guys, hey.
398
00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:58,800
How's it going?
399
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,400
Be polite!
400
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:01,840
There you go.
401
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:02,920
- Wade.
- Hi.
402
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,800
Hey, T-Dog. Give me a pound. Huh?
403
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,240
Yeah.
Principal Doppler, sir
404
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,640
I was really excited about
starting this new school year.
405
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,360
I'm not gonna lie.
406
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:13,480
Who knows?
407
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,640
I, maybe, was hazing them
a little bit
408
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,400
but I'm sorry.
409
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:20,520
I really am.
410
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,840
And I appreciate you
taking responsibility.
411
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,400
- It's refreshing.
- He doesn't mean it!
412
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,680
We need to call his parents in.
413
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,960
- Now.
- He doesn't have any parents.
414
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,960
Well, not in this country, anyway.
They live in Hong Kong.
415
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,720
- He's an emancipated minor.
- What does that mean?
416
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,000
It means he's legally an adult.
417
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,200
He answers to no one.
418
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,640
He's above the law.
419
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,440
- What a nightmare.
- Yeah.
420
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,320
Oh, crap.
421
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,560
Oh, no.
422
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,360
- Run.
- Go! Go!
423
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,600
- Run! Go, go!
- Hurry.
424
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,080
Wait for me!
425
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,240
Go, go!
426
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:34,960
Have you guys lost your mind?
427
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,680
Come on, let's go!
428
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,560
Go, go, come on!
429
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,520
- Come on.
- Oh, no!
430
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,680
- Run! Run!
- Go!
431
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,520
Get them, baby!
432
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,240
There! The garage!
433
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:17,600
You gonna rat on me, boys?
434
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:21,000
Try to get my parents involved
in this situation?
435
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,760
Now I have to make it my mission
to destroy you punks!
436
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:28,120
Hey! You kids get the hell
off my property!
437
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:31,280
I'm gonna give you three seconds,
then I'm getting my shotgun!
438
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,840
- No!
- You better get out of here
439
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,080
- right now!
- Please don't!
440
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,360
No! Please!
441
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,640
One! Two! Three!
442
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:43,880
Go! Go!
443
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,480
And stay out, you gang bangers!
444
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,640
Charles, chai latte up.
445
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,680
Hey! Get off my computer!
446
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,040
Keep your shirt on.
447
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,280
Come on.
448
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,480
If this doesn't work,
I'm gonna kick your ass.
449
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,000
When it works,
you're going to kiss my ass.
450
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,320
How are we gonna know
which one's the bodyguard?
451
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,880
Have you ever done
this kind of thing before?
452
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,440
I worked for the hardest gangstas
in the world.
453
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,040
Kee Lo-Lo, Chenobee.
454
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,640
Hell, I still work for Tupac,
even though he dead.
455
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:38,600
I am Israeli Military Secret Service
Antiterrorist Squad.
456
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,920
So when I kill this kid,
do you want me to do it quickly
457
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,520
or do you want him to suffer?
458
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,080
Suffer.
459
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:48,520
If you hire Tiger's
Protection Services
460
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,520
not only do you get the Tiger
461
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,760
but you get the protection
of his entire pride.
462
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:56,960
Do you like hip-hop?
463
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:58,600
What the hell you implying
I like hip-hop for?
464
00:21:58,680 --> 00:21:59,840
'Cause I'm dressed this way?
465
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:01,280
I like country. You like country?
466
00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:04,400
That's the kind of music I like.
Alabama. Gimme some of that.
467
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:08,200
Some Brooks and Dunn.
The Dixie Chicks, bitch.
468
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,320
Kids hiring a bodyguard
to take care of a bully?
469
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,160
Stupidest thing I ever heard.
470
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,440
Back in my day, if a kid
was getting beat up
471
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:17,600
it was called childhood.
472
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,560
Pick somebody, anybody.
473
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,880
I'll go beat their ass
right here, right now
474
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,880
and then you can ask them for
a goddamned reference.
475
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:26,880
How about you, lady?
476
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:28,120
I'll kick your ass right now!
477
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,680
Close. Closed.
478
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,200
- Yeah!
- This is very disturbing.
479
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,000
You want an ass kicking?
480
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,120
What do you do
when you're not body guarding?
481
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,200
I work at Raging Waters.
482
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,440
I sense great hesitation.
483
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:49,800
Wait one moment.
484
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,520
Excuse me.
I'm going to borrow this.
485
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:54,640
Please don't do that.
486
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,600
Oh, God damn!
487
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:58,480
Twenty-one hundred a week.
488
00:22:58,560 --> 00:22:59,600
Ten thousand dollars a week.
489
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,520
We're hoping you'd say, like,
around a hundred dollars.
490
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,000
- Not interested.
- I hate kids like you.
491
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:08,680
I can't help you.
No one can help you!
492
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,960
- Susan, your double espresso's up.
- I'm Susan.
493
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,200
I'm Drillbit Taylor.
494
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,440
U.S. Army Ranger,
black ops operative
495
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:45,880
decorated marksman,
improvised weapons expert.
496
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:47,720
Are you still in the military?
497
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:51,280
I was discharged.
Unauthorized heroism.
498
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,160
Yeah. They call it an army
of one in the ads, but...
499
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,800
they don't mean it.
500
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,240
Unless they mean the whole army
working together as one.
501
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:03,600
But they certainly don't want...
502
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,720
one man out there kicking ass
like an army of one
503
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:07,920
which is the way I took it.
504
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:12,360
As a bodyguard, I protected
three Vice Presidents
505
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:14,480
Bobby Brown, Sylvester Stallone...
506
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,560
Not as tough as he looks.
507
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,280
So what's the story? Who do you
guys need protection from?
508
00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:20,920
It should be easy for you.
509
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,600
Just a high school bully.
510
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:26,120
Yeah.
Run into a few of those in my life.
511
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,320
What'd you do to provoke him?
512
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,760
Well, he's fat, and he's a dork
513
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,080
- and I'm awesome.
- Oh, shut up, Wade.
514
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:35,480
By "awesome" do you mean
scared, skinny and lonely?
515
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:37,960
Yeah.
516
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,000
Yeah.
517
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,360
So how do we know you're legit?
518
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:43,480
Come here.
519
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,240
Go on, come here.
I'm not gonna bite.
520
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,080
I want you to look at my eyes.
521
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,200
Take a good look.
522
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,840
Come here!
What do you see?
523
00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,000
You looking?
524
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:01,920
What the hell have you seen?
525
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,440
You want some?
526
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:08,840
These eyes have seen
unspeakable horror.
527
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:10,640
That's my evidence.
528
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:12,800
That's how you know
if a guy's legit.
529
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,480
You need some evidence, too?
530
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,440
I've seen things
you wouldn't believe.
531
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:19,280
I've watched C-beams
glitter in the dark...
532
00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:21,360
near the Tannhauser Gate.
533
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:23,120
Isn't that Blade Runner?
534
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:27,160
Look closely 'cause
it's all in there.
535
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:29,920
Boo!
536
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,280
So, how much do you charge?
537
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,680
387 dollars...
538
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,480
a week.
539
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,600
- One second.
- I say yes.
540
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,240
I'm not even sure if I'm available.
541
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:46,920
- He's good.
- No! No! He's weird.
542
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,480
You know, we might be
able to work up to that.
543
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,560
But right now, we've only got
eighty-three dollars.
544
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,920
Okay, well, give me that now and...
545
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,960
we'll figure out the rest later.
546
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,440
You know what this is?
547
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:04,960
It's a wing.
548
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,400
You're under it.
549
00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:10,400
All three of you, right there.
550
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:11,800
Okay, here's the mission plan.
551
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,840
Using my expertise at stealthy
and covert ops
552
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,160
I'll infiltrate the school
553
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:20,000
where I will watch over you
like the Lord almighty himself.
554
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:21,360
Careful.
555
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,240
Like the good Lord,
I'm gonna use some mysterious ways
556
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:27,160
so you're not always gonna see me,
but... I'll be there.
557
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:28,680
Especially when you don't see me.
558
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,640
But first, I'm gonna
need some supplies.
559
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:32,520
- I want to go in and get...
- Like nunchucks?
560
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:34,000
Maybe.
But a lot of stuff
561
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:37,040
I'll just get from just what's laying
around the house. You'd be surprised.
562
00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:40,240
Anything can be turned into
a weapon of mayhem or destruction.
563
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,480
- Even a puppy?
- Especially a puppy.
564
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,480
Germans used them in World War I.
565
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:47,560
Da Hunden Stormen. Lightning Dog.
566
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:51,440
They'd attach dynamite to them.
Rommel did it. Jerry bastard.
567
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:53,840
- Now, listen. One thing that...
- This is my house.
568
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:55,640
Wow.
569
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,840
We can go in. Nobody's home.
570
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:00,560
Let's hit it. Deploy, soldiers.
571
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:02,760
Soldiers? Cool.
You hear that, T-Dog?
572
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,600
Beeline, front door! Single file!
573
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,440
Officers first!
574
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:12,320
You, get me a bowl of cereal.
Go on. Scram.
575
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,000
Okay, this I'm gonna need.
576
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,320
- Right here.
- What for?
577
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:25,040
You take that,
my mom'll rip my head off!
578
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:26,720
At ease, Casper!
579
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,160
Silver alloy one of the
strongest ever constructed.
580
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:30,840
Probably stop
an armor-piercing bullet...
581
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:32,080
at point-blank range.
582
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,520
You don't really think
it can come to that.
583
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,000
You tell me.
584
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:37,520
Filkins is a whack job.
585
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:39,280
He almost ran over us with his car!
586
00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:40,360
He's a menace.
587
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,760
Yeah, I was my dad's favorite, too.
588
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,320
He once cut a kid's arm off
with a samurai sword.
589
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,240
- Bladed weaponry?
- Yeah.
590
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,080
Okay. I'm not gonna
take any chances.
591
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,080
You're now on orange alert.
592
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:54,880
Okay, now this will be good
for video surveillance.
593
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:56,160
This is good.
594
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,600
You take the guts out of this
and use it for wiretapping.
595
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:00,440
I think we can use this as a...
596
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,200
I don't know,
as a timekeeping device.
597
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,040
I think I'll wear it
on my wrist, possibly.
598
00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:05,480
Testing, one, two.
599
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,760
- Mister Taylor?
- Testing, one, two.
600
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:08,920
Can we come back now?
601
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,120
Guys, you got to go far back!
I can hear you!
602
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,880
Testing, testing, one, two.
Can you hear me now?
603
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,080
- They work pretty good.
- These are great.
604
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:18,160
- Yeah.
- These are invaluable.
605
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:19,280
They get a little staticky though.
606
00:28:19,360 --> 00:28:21,000
- Yeah.
- I think, some places in the house.
607
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:22,400
Why you need all this stuff for?
608
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:24,040
I thought we were gonna
give Filkins a beat down.
609
00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:25,200
I am gonna beat him down
610
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,480
but sometimes
after that first beat down
611
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:28,640
then they get a little, you know...
612
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,160
- They want a little payback.
- I'm home!
613
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:31,800
Who wants grilled-cheese sandwiches?
614
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:33,320
- Go! Go! Mom! Mom!
- Okay.
615
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:34,760
- Exit! Exit!
- Go, out the back.
616
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:35,960
- Out the back, go.
- Just 'cause you don't
617
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:37,080
- see me doesn't mean I'm not there.
- Shut the door.
618
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,320
- Go.
- Act natural.
619
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:40,880
- Hey, Mom.
- Hey, Barbara
620
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:42,000
- how you doing?
- Hi, boys.
621
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,720
- Who's your new little friend?
- Hi.
622
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:45,280
- Hi. Emmit Oosterhaus.
- Hi, Emmit Oosterhaus.
623
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,240
- He's not our friend.
- Yeah, he is.
624
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:49,520
- He's like our hamster.
- Smell like something?
625
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:53,440
Ryan? You washing?
626
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:55,120
Yeah. You?
627
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:57,920
It's a funny smell. It's all right.
Grilled-cheese sandwiches.
628
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,600
Hey, come on! Buzz us in!
629
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:02,760
You're gonna wanna see this!
630
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:03,840
Big money coming in!
631
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:06,080
This ain't a bunch of
aluminum cans here.
632
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:07,160
Where do you want it?
633
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,280
- Priceless treasures.
- Go set them down there.
634
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:11,600
So you don't think those kids
are gonna miss this stuff?
635
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,520
No. They got two of everything.
636
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,880
They got the iPod, the iPod Nano.
637
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:17,480
And I don't care if they do
638
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:20,720
'cause after this little...
transaction
639
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,600
well, the old Drillbit's
taking his act...
640
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,000
to the Great White North.
641
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,160
- What?
- Yeah, I'm going to Canada.
642
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:27,280
That's stupid.
643
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,480
- You're gonna cut out now?
- I'm going...
644
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,880
These kids are a cash cow, Drillbit.
645
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,080
You need to hang in there.
You don't cut and run.
646
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,080
You got to get in there
and milk this.
647
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:38,040
Okay, come on back.
648
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,800
All right, I'll tell you what.
649
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:42,520
I give you $125 for the whole lot.
650
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:43,600
What?
651
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,160
I just heard you say
you took it from some kids.
652
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:47,240
So?
653
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:48,600
Don't get all righteous on me.
654
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:51,320
Half this store you guys
got from crackheads and thieves.
655
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:53,560
Hey. Who the hell
do you think you are, man?
656
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,080
Let me tell you something.
Those people are our customers!
657
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,280
We're not that harsh on them,
so you shouldn't be!
658
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,440
How would you like it
if we called you a crackhead?
659
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:00,680
You have called me one.
660
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,200
Have we?
Have we?
661
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:03,520
I think I might have.
662
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:05,720
- Drillbit? Drillbit? Come in.
- What is that?
663
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,320
I'm sorry, hold it just a second.
664
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,240
D.B. one-four-niner-eight, come in.
665
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:10,720
- Just take this.
- We just wanted you to know...
666
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,800
that Emmit was holding out
on some bar mitzvah money.
667
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,480
Emmit, I don't care how many times
you've beenbar mitzvahed
668
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:16,920
- you're not a man.
- I am a man.
669
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:18,040
- No, you're not.
- Drillbit!
670
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:19,360
- So we'll have another 50 bucks...
- Milk it...
671
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:20,520
- for you on Monday.
- milk it.
672
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:21,800
Grab the udder and milk it.
673
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,120
Ten-four, good buddy.
I will see you tomorrow.
674
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:28,200
Commence radio silence
in three, two.
675
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,360
Today's the official start
of our high school careers.
676
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:33,680
Last week's history.
677
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:35,720
Nothing good came out of last week.
678
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:36,840
We became best friends.
679
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,000
Nothing good came out of last week.
680
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,400
There's the sword.
Oh, man, we're so dead.
681
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:42,720
Where's Drillbit, Wade?
682
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,880
Hey.
Calvary's here.
683
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:46,760
- Please, where have you been?
- Yes. What's up, man?
684
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,160
Where's my money?
685
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:49,840
Where's my money?
686
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:53,280
We got forty bucks we promised,
plus we got an extra seventeen.
687
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:54,400
I sold my Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
688
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:55,600
Okay, this is gonna be sweet.
689
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,440
I can't wait to watch you
kick Filkins' ass.
690
00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:58,680
Yeah.
What, is he here?
691
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:00,520
Yeah, over there on his car.
692
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:01,600
I want you to be...
693
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:02,920
- the last face he ever sees.
- What are you gonna do?
694
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,480
- What am I gonna do?
- Come on.
695
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:06,560
I want you to gnaw on his skull.
696
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:08,760
Okay. Come here for a second.
697
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:09,840
Come here, before
I gnaw on his skull.
698
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:11,720
- What are you doing?
- Come over here.
699
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:13,520
- Come here. Gather round.
- This is serious.
700
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,040
I thought you were gonna go
kick his ass.
701
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:17,400
Look at Tommy Trigger Finger.
You want the blood and the guts.
702
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:18,760
Well, it doesn't work that way.
703
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:20,480
I can't just kick his ass.
704
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:24,240
Physically, I can,
but if you kick a bully's ass
705
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,720
then maybe you guys
live till lunchtime.
706
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:28,080
And then what?
707
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,320
"Teach those victims how to kick
the bully's ass...
708
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:31,800
and they live forever."
709
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:33,240
Steven Seagal.
710
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,080
So you're gonna teach us
how to beat him up?
711
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:36,160
Like train us?
712
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,920
So we're gonna beat up Filkins?
713
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:43,320
What I'm about to show you are
top-secret black ops fighting moves.
714
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,160
And it's all about technique.
715
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:46,720
I don't care
if you're talking about...
716
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:51,680
karate, tai chi, kung fu,
praying mantis
717
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,520
kung pao, Panda Express.
718
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:55,920
It's all about technique.
719
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,000
I want you to watch my technique.
720
00:31:58,080 --> 00:31:59,280
It's pretty flawless.
721
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:00,640
Come on, Ryan, charge me.
722
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:02,440
I'm serious. Try to kill me.
723
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:03,880
Come on.
You ready?
724
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,080
Go!
Yeah. Come on.
725
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:08,920
I got you!
726
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,440
I got you! I got you!
727
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:14,560
Damn it!
728
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,280
Okay.
Tripped right there.
729
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:17,880
That was the...
730
00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:19,240
the bear hug.
731
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:20,360
Okay.
732
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:21,600
Wade.
733
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:22,680
Come on!
734
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:23,760
Here you go!
735
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:25,600
- Watch the elbows!
- Don't! Stop!
736
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:26,720
Okay.
737
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,400
Last but not least.
738
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:29,800
Charge me.
739
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:35,040
Everyone, up! Circle me!
740
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,280
Come on. Let me
see some fight from you.
741
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:39,000
Okay, you guys ready
for the blizzard?
742
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:42,440
- Go get him, boys!
- Yeah. Go, get it, all three of you!
743
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,360
I call truce! Truce!
744
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:45,640
Back up! Three's too many.
745
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:47,360
Three's too many. Stop.
746
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,560
Wow, one of you really
charley-horsed me.
747
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:51,680
Okay.
748
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,160
Now it isn't all
oriental martial arts.
749
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:56,840
Sometimes you give
a little Mexican judo, as in...
750
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:58,440
"Ju don't know who
you're messing with, homes."
751
00:32:58,520 --> 00:32:59,960
Come on, Ryan, one more. Last one!
752
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:03,280
Show me your mettle.
Come on! Ol?!
753
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:04,960
Wow!
754
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:06,480
Ryan!
755
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:08,360
Man down!
756
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:11,120
Ryan?
757
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:14,360
Was that my fault?
758
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,760
Hey! Check this out.
759
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:21,080
Dude! You fell like sixty feet.
760
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,360
Jeez, that was crazy.
761
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:25,040
What is this?
762
00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:26,480
This is a strategic outpost.
763
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:28,440
I got these posted
all over the city.
764
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:29,800
Don't even look at it, okay?
765
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:31,760
Now let's get back up there
and get to work.
766
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:33,080
What's this for?
767
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,000
To wash your balls in the morning?
768
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,480
No.
Look like a squeegee to you?
769
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:40,560
Or does it look like a weapon
with a straight edge...
770
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:42,840
and a little mop to clean
up the blood?
771
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:46,160
T- Dog, Emmit, this way.
772
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:47,880
- Where's Drillbit?
- I don't know.
773
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,160
- Wait up.
- Should be right up here.
774
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:58,200
Man down!
775
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:00,400
Take this.
776
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:02,000
- Take a swing at my head.
- Oh, no.
777
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:03,800
Wade, come on. Just hit me.
778
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:05,640
- But it'll hurt.
- Wade, hit me.
779
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:07,920
- I'll do it.
- Shut up.
780
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:15,280
I feel no pain,
'cause I have a trained mind.
781
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:16,400
- Go!
- Come on.
782
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,600
- Let's beat it.
- Come on, let's go.
783
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:21,720
Hey, Drillbit.
784
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:22,840
We could make s'mores!
785
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:23,920
No.
786
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,280
How much does a Hug Me Bear cost?
787
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:26,600
No.
788
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:28,560
Where'd you get
the kids, Drillbit?
789
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,640
I won them in a poker game.
790
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:32,280
Order up!
791
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:33,680
How's this part of the training?
792
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:34,760
It's called bulking up.
793
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:35,840
I'm already fat.
794
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:37,720
Hey. You're not fat.
795
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:39,080
I don't want to hear
you say you're fat.
796
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:44,360
Words like lard ass, fat pig,
butterball, landslide, mudslide.
797
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:45,520
I don't want to hear that.
798
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:47,200
What are you tipping the scales at?
799
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:48,440
One-eighty.
800
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:49,840
What?
801
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:52,760
Whenever you're ready, boys.
802
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,080
Okay, one of you guys
got to pick this up
803
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:55,720
'cause I'm still on the clock.
804
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:58,840
Filkins.
805
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:00,240
- Filkins.
- Avoidance technique!
806
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,080
Avoidance technique!
807
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:06,600
Come out here, Capone!
You want to fight?
808
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:08,080
You want to fight,
you and me, right here?
809
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:09,160
This is very important.
810
00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:10,240
See that?
811
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:11,640
Stand back. Afraid
to come out from behind your men?
812
00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:13,120
- He has a holdback guy.
- Afraid to stand up for yourself?
813
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,400
Now that allows people to think
that you want to fight...
814
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:16,640
when really he doesn't
want to fight.
815
00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:17,720
You got nothing in court.
816
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:18,800
- You don't got the bookkeeper.
- When I'm here
817
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:20,000
I'm your holdback guy.
818
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:22,120
So now you can act crazy.
819
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:23,680
No, hey, hey, calm down.
820
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:25,040
I'm gonna kill you!
821
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:31,600
Hey, stop! Stop!
822
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:32,920
Calm down.
823
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:36,400
Get under the wing.
824
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:41,240
Put all the bills facing
the same direction.
825
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:43,520
Don't worry about it, Don.
826
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,720
I thought these kids were loaded.
827
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:46,880
It's like all you read about are...
828
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:48,800
how fourteen-year-olds
rule the marketplace
829
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,000
and look at this.
Hardly got anything.
830
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,400
You think this is gonna get me to
the Great White North?
831
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,680
Allow me to make a point real quick.
832
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:56,920
Hello, delicious.
833
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:58,240
Drillbit?
834
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:00,800
Do you know why we come here
every day?
835
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,440
It's because these businessmen
can't eat all their food.
836
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:06,520
They have more than they need.
837
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:09,160
These kids are a lot like
these businessmen, okay?
838
00:36:09,240 --> 00:36:11,360
They have way more than they need.
839
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:14,960
It's our job to go into their houses
and take all their excess.
840
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,360
I get a kick out of these kids.
841
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,160
I told you that little fat one
says some funny shit.
842
00:36:20,240 --> 00:36:21,800
I like these kids, too, man.
843
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:24,760
I mean, from what I gather,
they're some pretty cool dudes.
844
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:27,360
But if you like them,
you should think about helping them.
845
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,440
- If you care about them.
- What do you mean?
846
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,200
Steal their TV.
847
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,000
Maybe they'll read a book.
848
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:34,480
Steal their iPod.
Heck, I don't know.
849
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:36,720
Maybe they'll learn to
play the piano.
850
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:39,560
They don't need all this crap.
851
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,280
You think Mozart had a Game Boy?
852
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:42,960
I didn't have it.
Didn't hurt me.
853
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:45,080
I was outside playing,
climbing trees.
854
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:46,200
Yeah, man, me, too.
855
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,880
I'm still outside
hanging around in trees.
856
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,800
And the parents are never around.
There's no one there in the daytime.
857
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:54,200
One big hit.
858
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:55,760
It's all we need.
859
00:36:59,240 --> 00:37:01,280
Now, listen. We're about ten
percent done with the training.
860
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:02,400
- Next...
- Ten percent?
861
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:03,520
Are you high?
862
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,200
We can't sit in the woods anymore.
863
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:06,400
We got to go back to school.
864
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:08,040
Yeah, and I can't forge
any more notes.
865
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:10,320
How many diseases can a kid have?
866
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,480
You guys think you're ready?
867
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,720
You know, I am really
scared to go back.
868
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,680
Look. If you're not ready to fight,
there is another alternative.
869
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:26,800
But I got to be honest with you
870
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:30,280
only the strongest of warriors
can pull this one off.
871
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,840
It's so difficult that most men...
872
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:36,360
most men tremble at its mere thought.
873
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:37,560
What is it?
874
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:39,320
What the hell is it?
875
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:44,080
Love him.
876
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,120
- What?
- Love him.
877
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,320
You know, I don't know what's
going through your head, Drillbit
878
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:50,280
but I'm not gonna bang him.
879
00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:52,640
When I'm talking about love,
I mean compassion.
880
00:37:52,720 --> 00:37:54,200
- I'm not going to...
- Shut up.
881
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,080
And understanding.
882
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:58,040
Find your commonality.
883
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:01,800
Let him know you're more alike
than different.
884
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,120
Maybe that'll put out his fuse.
885
00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:06,920
And remember, guys...
886
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,720
just because you don't see me
doesn't mean I'm not there.
887
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:10,840
I'll be there...
888
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,760
like a silent, deadly poltergeist.
889
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:14,880
- Thanks.
- Okay.
890
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:15,960
All right, see you later, Drillbit.
891
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,280
Remember, you're under my wing.
892
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:23,000
Oh, no.
893
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:24,200
There he is.
894
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,040
- Should we hide?
- No.
895
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:27,880
We've been running
and hiding all week.
896
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,360
This is what Drillbit's
been talking about
897
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:30,960
finding commonalities.
898
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,440
He's rapping. You love to rap!
899
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,000
You can do this!
900
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:36,120
No, I can't.
901
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,480
Yes, you can.
It's just like in 8 Mile.
902
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:39,160
- He'll respect you.
- No, man, I'm afraid of him.
903
00:38:39,240 --> 00:38:40,600
I can't! You're crazy!
904
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:42,280
- You can do it, Ryan.
- Don't do it.
905
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,240
- I believe in you.
- Don't.
906
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:46,560
All right. I can do it.
907
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:47,920
I can do it.
908
00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:50,560
Whassup, whassup?
909
00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:52,440
Whassup?
910
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,480
I wanna rap with you.
911
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,000
Hey, flip the script, Ronnie.
Hit that beat.
912
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:01,200
- Yo, this cool, Fil?
- Sure, whatever.
913
00:39:02,240 --> 00:39:04,080
Yo, call me whatever you want
914
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,560
but you know I gets busy
I'm so badass
915
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,160
I'm the king of Vice City
Like the Buddha, I'm Zen
916
00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:13,560
Like Beckham, I bend, I tell suckers,
"Say hello to my little friend"
917
00:39:14,240 --> 00:39:16,560
Snap! This guy!
918
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:19,520
Hey, meatball, where's
your spaghetti?
919
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,040
Your rapping's like a nightmare.
But I don't see Freddy
920
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,560
You best not even try to
spit rhymes, dude
921
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:28,040
'Cause when you spit
all I ever see is chewed-up food
922
00:39:28,240 --> 00:39:30,160
Yeah, that's how we roll!
That's how we do!
923
00:39:30,240 --> 00:39:32,240
Hold on!
I know you didn't just go there
924
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:35,440
I got more skills than you
in my one and only nut hair
925
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:37,200
Nice, man, nice.
926
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:39,920
So you better step off
before you insult me and mine
927
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,680
'Cause if you decide to step on,
see I'm like a land mine
928
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,240
Boom!
929
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:49,040
Oh, my God, look,
it's a punkass rapping
930
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,680
He say one more word
I'm gonna have to bitch-slap him
931
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:54,200
So surprised you're moving
ass is so damn fat
932
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:57,720
You're lucky I don't hit you
with my Wiffle, Wiffle Ball bat
933
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,920
Can't hurt my head with a bat
I'm the Incredible Hulk
934
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,200
I'm like Costco
I'm serving ass kickings in bulk
935
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:06,840
You don't like my words
Mister King of the School?
936
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:10,000
Well, guess what?
You can suck on my family's jewels
937
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:11,320
Bitch!
938
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:21,680
That was awesome.
939
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:23,120
What have I just done?
940
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:24,640
Hey, that was amazing. I mean
941
00:40:24,720 --> 00:40:26,280
telling him to suck on
your two family jewels...
942
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:28,040
was in questionable taste,
but still...
943
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:30,320
I know, I got caught up
in the moment, okay?
944
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,320
Keep walking. I don't want to
get shot like Tupac.
945
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:35,280
Yeah. You know, most of those people
were cheering for you.
946
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,400
Really? That could be good.
Maybe Drillbit was right.
947
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:43,800
Think you're so funny?
948
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:44,880
Good.
949
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:46,800
'Cause you're not gonna laugh
when you're dead.
950
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:50,000
You're gonna get it now,
worse than ever.
951
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:51,760
All of you.
952
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,600
Ryan, holdback technique.
953
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,240
You don't like the fact that
he's better than you, Filkins!
954
00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:00,560
You better back the hell off
before I...
955
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:04,560
Thanks for holding him for me.
956
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,600
Holy crap, you guys are retarded!
957
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:13,680
How did he do so much damage
with one punch?
958
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:16,320
It's like his fist is
the size of your whole face.
959
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:17,760
I guess it's true.
960
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,120
Rap really does promote violence.
961
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:20,280
Yeah, but the question is
962
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:21,480
where was Drillbit
when we needed him?
963
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,200
Maybe he got called to
the black ops.
964
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:24,280
Wade, come on.
965
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:27,360
- You really believe that garbage?
- There's my little soldiers.
966
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:30,400
There are my pooper troopers.
967
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,600
Hey, sorry I missed that
walkie-talkie call.
968
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:34,320
I had something come...
969
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:37,600
What the hell happened to you?
970
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:39,480
Filkins punched me.
971
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:41,840
- Filkins did that to you?
- Yeah.
972
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:43,160
Where were you?
973
00:41:43,240 --> 00:41:44,440
With one punch?
974
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:46,040
Where were you?
975
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:48,240
Oh, crap. I'm sorry.
976
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:49,320
Stop.
977
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,160
- No, just let me get the blood off.
- No.
978
00:41:51,240 --> 00:41:53,640
- Stop.
- Man. Here, sit down for a second.
979
00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:54,760
Crap.
980
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:56,720
- It looks painful.
- Yeah, it is.
981
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:58,520
Here, let me put
a little pressure on it.
982
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,040
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
983
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:01,920
Ryan had a rap off with Filkins.
984
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,440
- You had a rap off?
- You said to find common ground.
985
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,680
He said he was like Costco,
serving up ass kickings in bulk.
986
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:09,800
That's what you said?
That's not common ground.
987
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:11,560
Even though it's funny.
988
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:13,840
That's not exactly what I meant
when I said common ground.
989
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:15,400
Why didn't you get punched?
990
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:16,560
Why'd he slug you?
991
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:18,600
'Cause of your brilliant
holdback technique.
992
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:20,280
The holdback technique?
993
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:21,400
You really tried that?
994
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:24,840
Yeah. Bottom line is
your advice backfired.
995
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:26,600
Now we're more screwed than ever.
996
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:28,760
All because you wanted to protect
the hobbit over here.
997
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:30,320
- Hey, let's just stop for a second.
- I am not a hobbit.
998
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:31,520
- Hold it!
- You're a damn hobbit, okay?
999
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:33,120
- I am not!
- Hold it! Hey.
1000
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:34,760
Emmit's not a hobbit
1001
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:36,160
I don't think.
1002
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,280
Problem isn't
the holdback technique
1003
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:41,160
although I don't think you guys
had it perfected enough to try.
1004
00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:42,240
The problem is Randy
1005
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:44,160
- starts rapping insults.
- It's not Randy!
1006
00:42:44,240 --> 00:42:45,760
Okay? It's Ryan!
1007
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,640
And all this talk about you being
there... when you're not there
1008
00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:50,400
it's bull! Okay?
1009
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:52,320
I'm tired of your nonsense!
You're fired!
1010
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:54,520
Hey! Sit down here.
1011
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:56,440
Sit down here for a second.
1012
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:58,160
All of you, sit down.
1013
00:42:58,240 --> 00:43:01,440
You take the bass out of your voice
when you talk to me.
1014
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:03,400
Now, we just completed phase one.
1015
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:04,880
See if this guy has any mettle.
1016
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:06,160
And guess what we found out?
1017
00:43:06,240 --> 00:43:07,640
Filkins does have some mettle.
1018
00:43:07,720 --> 00:43:09,720
So now we move to phase two.
1019
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:13,160
Know what phase two is?
Direct contact.
1020
00:43:13,240 --> 00:43:14,320
That's where I come in.
1021
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:16,720
Because I will not let
this happen again
1022
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:18,440
if I can help it.
1023
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,200
So what's the plan?
1024
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:21,960
- The plan?
- Yeah.
1025
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:27,120
How early do you guys
have to get up for school?
1026
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:28,200
- Seven.
- Seven.
1027
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:29,560
Oh, God.
1028
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:31,600
Okay.
Tomorrow...
1029
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:33,200
we all go in together.
1030
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:41,360
Hey, Wade, what's up?
1031
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:45,000
Where'd you get the shiner?
1032
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:46,880
Come in here, boy. Talk to me.
1033
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:52,080
I was protecting this one kid...
1034
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:55,480
in my school from a bunch of bullies
and one of them punched me.
1035
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:56,560
What?
1036
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:58,960
Why would you protect
the kid from a bully?
1037
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:00,840
So he doesn't get beat up.
1038
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,400
Then you're interfering
with the natural order.
1039
00:44:05,720 --> 00:44:07,680
When I was a kid,
I was kind of a bully.
1040
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:09,160
Alright, it's not a bad thing.
1041
00:44:09,240 --> 00:44:10,800
There was this kid.
I don't know what it was.
1042
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:12,560
Maybe it was his stupid face.
1043
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:14,680
But he'd just really
get under my skin.
1044
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,640
So I pushed him around a little bit,
called him some hurtful names...
1045
00:44:17,720 --> 00:44:20,960
and I honestly think if I met him
today, he'd thank me for it.
1046
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,880
I prepared him for the harshness
of the real world.
1047
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,280
Thanks, Jim.
1048
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:27,840
I'm a resource, Wade.
1049
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:29,800
You should use me more often.
1050
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,360
if I remember how to do this.
1051
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,800
It really is strong enough
for a man.
1052
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,520
Did your dad leave any socks behind?
1053
00:44:52,720 --> 00:44:56,240
How many tardies can you have
before they give you a detention?
1054
00:44:57,720 --> 00:45:00,400
Emmit, you're drying my eyeballs.
1055
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:05,080
All right, here's
our class schedules...
1056
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:06,880
and a detailed map of the school.
1057
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:08,160
We have the first class together...
1058
00:45:08,240 --> 00:45:09,880
so just meet us by
the Life Skills room...
1059
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:10,960
so you can walk us to our lockers.
1060
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:12,600
Okay, now, remember
I'm not just gonna walk in there...
1061
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:14,040
and start kicking ass, okay?
1062
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:17,400
I got to protect you guys,
but I need to blend in and lay low.
1063
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:21,880
I'm gonna be visible to you guys,
but invisible to everyone else.
1064
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:32,720
That's a look that says "I have
no idea what I'm doing here."
1065
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:38,080
All first-time subs have it.
Welcome to McKinley!
1066
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:41,000
Thanks. Was it that obvious?
1067
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:42,680
Well, yeah, a little bit.
1068
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:47,080
Not you kids. Please, go to class.
1069
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:49,240
Go, go, go. Get away from me.
1070
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:50,520
You...
1071
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:52,280
second floor, teachers' lounge.
1072
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:54,200
They'll give you your assignment
up there. It's right over there.
1073
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:56,840
- I'm gonna head up there. Okay.
- Yep? You got it.
1074
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:06,840
How're you doing?
1075
00:46:08,720 --> 00:46:10,480
Teachers' lounge.
1076
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:12,360
They're all the same.
1077
00:46:14,240 --> 00:46:15,800
Put your names on the food.
1078
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:17,160
Smart.
1079
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:18,800
Sneaky.
1080
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,400
- See Grey's Anatomy last night?
- Yeah.
1081
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:25,160
- Hey, Lis.
- Hi.
1082
00:46:25,240 --> 00:46:27,440
Got half an orange with
your name on it.
1083
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:29,040
No, thanks.
1084
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:44,360
Can I help you?
1085
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,480
No.
With what?
1086
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:48,200
Are you lost?
1087
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:50,000
No. Why?
1088
00:46:50,240 --> 00:46:51,760
You look like a lost parent.
1089
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:52,920
No.
1090
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:54,480
No.
1091
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:56,560
I'm a substitute.
1092
00:46:57,880 --> 00:46:59,040
For what?
1093
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:00,400
For...
1094
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:02,520
whatever needs substituting.
1095
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:04,640
Yeah, they'll just plug me in.
1096
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:07,520
I think I'm just gonna
wait here until...
1097
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:10,560
you know, if they need me in French,
then that's where I'll go.
1098
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:12,120
You know French?
1099
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:13,360
A little bit. Yeah.
1100
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:17,560
Enough to get by,
or enough to teach these... animals.
1101
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:21,560
- What do you teach?
- English.
1102
00:47:21,720 --> 00:47:23,520
My native tongue.
1103
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:28,360
I'm Lisa Zachey.
1104
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:32,240
Now is that Miss or Missus Zachey?
1105
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:33,360
- Miss.
- Miss.
1106
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:35,280
It had to be.
1107
00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:37,840
Enchant?
1108
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:41,280
And who are you?
1109
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:44,800
Drill... Dr. Illbit.
1110
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:47,000
- Yeah.
- A doctor.
1111
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:48,720
Teacher.
Teacher and a doctor.
1112
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:50,640
Just want to help.
1113
00:47:50,720 --> 00:47:52,160
People don't care how I do it.
1114
00:47:52,240 --> 00:47:54,160
Just give me a chance to help.
1115
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:56,680
You want some hot coffee?
1116
00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:59,000
Only in the worst way.
1117
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,600
Who can give me
another name for gonorrhea?
1118
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:07,640
That's a little hint.
1119
00:48:07,720 --> 00:48:09,280
That's right, the clap.
1120
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:10,640
Or...
1121
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:12,000
the drip.
1122
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,280
All right, Dane? Get the lights.
1123
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:16,720
In the male, the bacteria
of gonorrhea...
1124
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:18,920
usually enters by way
of the urethra.
1125
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:22,200
From two to five days later,
the guy feels a painful burning...
1126
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:23,920
particularly when he urinates...
1127
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,400
They make these things to scare us.
1128
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:27,600
- I'm not scared of this.
- looks like this.
1129
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:31,240
- I really like your suit.
- Yeah.
1130
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:33,560
I really like your everything.
1131
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:35,160
Now what do we do?
1132
00:48:35,240 --> 00:48:37,600
Not many teachers
can afford a suit like that.
1133
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:39,880
- Yeah?
- If he wants to eat.
1134
00:48:40,720 --> 00:48:43,360
Well, I mainly eat out
of a dumpster.
1135
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:46,800
I should try that.
I need some new dresses.
1136
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:48,240
Don't.
1137
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:51,280
Or if you do, stay away from
the one at Ocean and Wilshire.
1138
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:52,440
That's mine.
1139
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,240
Seriously, stay out of it, huh?
1140
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:57,200
- What are we doing?
- I don't know.
1141
00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:58,480
Let's go.
1142
00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:00,440
You're a bad boy.
1143
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:03,040
Maybe I need a detention.
1144
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:05,040
You're funny.
1145
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:07,040
I'm not joking.
1146
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:08,840
Me, either.
1147
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:16,720
Look, I want nothing more
than to spend the rest of the day...
1148
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:18,920
sitting on this couch with you...
1149
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:22,080
but I got to get to class
because my students need me.
1150
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:23,640
- Okay?
- No.
1151
00:49:23,720 --> 00:49:26,440
You still have five minutes
before the next class.
1152
00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:27,520
We do?
1153
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:32,080
And you seem like someone who could
accomplish a lot in five minutes.
1154
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:33,800
I hope so.
1155
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:37,200
Although five minutes
might be four too many.
1156
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:42,040
Let's go, let's go!
1157
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:44,640
We really like Life Skills.
Can we just stay in the room, maybe?
1158
00:49:44,720 --> 00:49:46,000
Why don't you practice
some life skills...
1159
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:48,400
out here in the hallway?
It's just as important.
1160
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:51,040
- Okay, where is he?
- This is bull.
1161
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:53,120
Maybe I should just
beat the crap out of you two.
1162
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:54,680
There's Brooke!
1163
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:02,080
Oh, no. There he is.
1164
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:09,000
I think I'd better get. When...
1165
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:10,600
When are you free?
I want to see you.
1166
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:12,560
- I have sixth period free.
- Sixth period? Okay.
1167
00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:14,240
I think I have
that period free, also.
1168
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:16,200
Why don't we meet back
here? Okay?
1169
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:17,560
- Okay.
- Meet me right here?
1170
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:19,120
I'll keep the couch warm.
1171
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:20,880
We better check the
tags to make sure...
1172
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:23,000
- this couch is flame retardant.
- I will.
1173
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:25,320
You know? You know what I mean?
Flame retardant?
1174
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:26,960
- Yes.
- 'Cause you're hot.
1175
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:30,600
Where is Life Skills?
1176
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,200
Drillbit, come in, please!
Where are you?
1177
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:36,280
Drillbit, come in!
1178
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:39,320
I don't know!
I can't understand Emmit's map!
1179
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:40,840
- Go, go, go!
- Come on, Emmit.
1180
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:42,200
Come on.
1181
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:44,080
Crap!
1182
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:45,600
I knew Drillbit was a fraud.
1183
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:47,520
- I told you!
- He's gonna be here!
1184
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:49,120
Life Skills!
1185
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:51,360
I need Life Skills!
1186
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:54,120
Out of my way!
1187
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:02,360
Open the door!
1188
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:04,800
How is that up to code?
1189
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:07,760
Excuse me! Mordor Castle
coming through!
1190
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:12,400
Excuse me! Mordor Castle
coming through!
1191
00:51:23,720 --> 00:51:26,040
This is real!
This is not a drill.
1192
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:27,960
Everybody, clear the hall!
1193
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:31,000
That means you! Let's go!
Clear the hall!
1194
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:35,600
The freak actually came through, huh?
1195
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:38,400
Awesome!
1196
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:49,840
All right.
1197
00:51:58,440 --> 00:51:59,560
Mister Filkins!
1198
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:02,920
Why don't you just come up to the
front of the class and read from...
1199
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:06,160
The Collected Works
of the Romantic Poets?
1200
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:12,440
"I like kissing this and that of you"
1201
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:13,680
"I like...
1202
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:18,120
slowly stroking
the shocking fuzz"
1203
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:25,000
Hey, aren't you the guy that
kicked Filkins' butt freestyling?
1204
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:26,880
You better believe it.
1205
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:27,960
They call me T-Dog.
1206
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:29,640
Wow, that's cool.
1207
00:52:29,720 --> 00:52:31,480
He is so cute!
1208
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:32,560
Wow.
1209
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:34,240
Wade, this is Drillbit. Come in.
1210
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:36,000
- Wade?
- Yeah?
1211
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:38,640
Filkins is heading east down
the stairs. The first stairwell.
1212
00:52:38,720 --> 00:52:40,560
He's coming down now.
Watch your ass.
1213
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:42,040
Read you. Copy. Roger.
1214
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:44,120
F.Y. I., I just heard
this pack of girls yapping...
1215
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:46,600
and your girl, Brooke,
just got cast in Romeo and Juliet.
1216
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:48,600
You might want to check that out.
1217
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:53,760
Madam, madam, your lady mother
is coming to your chamber!
1218
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:56,760
The day is broke,
be wary, look about.
1219
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:02,760
Come on! You're dogging it!
Faster! Faster!
1220
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:04,720
Go! I want to see some more!
1221
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:06,560
Go! Come on!
1222
00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:09,800
Let's go! Let's go! One more!
1223
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:11,760
And you guys!
I don't want you just watching!
1224
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:14,240
Do some bass fishing!
Then reel it in!
1225
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:15,360
Come on!
1226
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:16,520
Let's go, keep going!
1227
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:18,040
Work some thumbs!
1228
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:19,480
For texting!
1229
00:53:21,240 --> 00:53:22,720
Look out, huh?
1230
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:24,480
How was school, Professor?
1231
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:27,000
It is great.
1232
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:28,880
And as long as you got
a coffee cup in your hand...
1233
00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:30,720
nobody says anything.
1234
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:35,120
I was thinking about
writing a paper on...
1235
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:36,600
- Hey!
- What the...
1236
00:53:36,720 --> 00:53:38,880
- Coffee cup.
- Now, Castro
1237
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:42,240
he knew that he was not gonna get
any action with Marilyn Monroe.
1238
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:45,440
And that is why John F. Kennedy
was shot.
1239
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:49,920
Don!
1240
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:52,960
Hello, fellow teacher.
1241
00:53:57,720 --> 00:54:00,200
Come on, guys, hit the showers!
1242
00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:02,320
Look...
1243
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,040
my rope's too short.
I can't get down.
1244
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:06,720
Where you going?
1245
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:08,640
Get back here!
1246
00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:11,120
- Yo, hold on!
- What is this?
1247
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:13,440
Ronnie, let yourself down.
1248
00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:28,760
"Happy birthday, Dr. Illbit"
1249
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:34,640
"Happy birthday to you"
1250
00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:21,400
Hey, T-Dog.
1251
00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:24,200
You've got to admit
hiring Drillbit was a good idea.
1252
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:26,040
- Okay, you're right.
- See?
1253
00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:29,400
The freak's actually worth all the
money we're spending on him, I guess.
1254
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:30,760
Good morning.
1255
00:55:31,240 --> 00:55:33,000
Great coffee this morning,
Dr. Illbit.
1256
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:34,480
Enjoy it.
1257
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:36,160
You know, I really like it here.
1258
00:55:36,240 --> 00:55:37,640
You're doing a great job, Drillbit.
1259
00:55:37,720 --> 00:55:38,800
I know I am.
1260
00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:40,800
Come here, come here, come here.
1261
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:43,120
Okay, quick. Pop quiz.
You like a girl.
1262
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:44,840
You're completely shocked
that she likes you.
1263
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:47,800
Things are already just
crazy hot, just loco.
1264
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:49,800
But now you'd like to ask her out.
1265
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:52,960
And you're not sure if
she's just in it for the sex.
1266
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:55,040
And you haven't been
on a date in forever.
1267
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:56,720
And you're a little bit afraid...
1268
00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:58,520
and you don't know
what the hell you're doing, anyway.
1269
00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:00,160
Well, I can't really
relate to that...
1270
00:56:00,240 --> 00:56:02,520
but what I would do is
just join every club she's in...
1271
00:56:02,600 --> 00:56:05,040
and eventually work up the nerve
to talk to her.
1272
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:06,560
And how's that working for you?
1273
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:07,680
Not at all.
1274
00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:10,120
Okay. One should do the opposite.
1275
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,040
- Yeah, probably.
- Okay.
1276
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:13,440
Congratulations, you just passed.
1277
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:15,680
Hey, scram. Scram.
Crotch blocker.
1278
00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:20,600
- Hey.
- Hey.
1279
00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:22,800
- Look, you look pretty.
- Thank you.
1280
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:24,480
You know, I haven't been on
a lot of dates...
1281
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:27,320
and I really don't know the way
this is supposed to work...
1282
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:29,320
because we kind of
skipped that part.
1283
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:30,760
But would you ever want to
get together after school...
1284
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:32,560
and maybe hang out?
1285
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:34,920
I'd love to.
1286
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:40,360
- I'll see you tonight?
- Okay.
1287
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:44,000
The Battle of Sekigahara...
1288
00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:48,800
when Kanetsugu
mocked Tokunaga's abuses...
1289
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:52,600
which only infuriated Tokunaga...
1290
00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:55,240
who then summoned...
1291
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:59,480
Toyotomi and united Japan.
1292
00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:01,760
And kept the local feudal lords...
1293
00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:03,200
- from warring.
- Hey.
1294
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:05,160
What are you doing in this club?
1295
00:57:05,240 --> 00:57:06,240
I'm Asian.
1296
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:07,760
He died. Then...
1297
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:09,520
- No, you aren't.
- Yeah.
1298
00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:10,760
A little bit.
1299
00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:12,000
Really?
1300
00:57:13,240 --> 00:57:15,480
You don't even look a little Asian.
1301
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:16,840
Yeah, I know.
1302
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:19,520
The West attacked first.
1303
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:23,160
So how come I see you in, like,
so many activities I'm in?
1304
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:25,520
Just...
1305
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:27,960
I joined some of the clubs
you were in because...
1306
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:29,960
I wanted to have a chance
to talk to you.
1307
00:57:30,040 --> 00:57:35,440
Wakisaka, 990 men.
Ankokuji, 1,800 men.
1308
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:37,040
So...
1309
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:38,560
you're not Asian.
1310
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:39,840
No.
1311
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:43,720
Well, maybe somewhere way back.
1312
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:46,680
Chosokabe, 6,600 men.
1313
00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:50,240
This is exciting, don't you think?
All these men.
1314
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:52,200
Well, you can't quit now.
1315
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,320
I'm gonna make you come
to all our meetings.
1316
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:56,400
Membership is way down this year.
1317
00:57:56,480 --> 00:57:58,920
Okay. I can do that.
1318
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:00,560
- Is everything okay at school?
- Yeah.
1319
00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:03,000
Everything's fine.
I just... I'm busy.
1320
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:05,080
Honey, I know there's
a lot of pressure on kids...
1321
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:06,880
once they get to high school.
1322
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:08,680
And there are kids who are
gonna want to be your friend...
1323
00:58:08,760 --> 00:58:11,720
but they'll also want you
to take their drugs.
1324
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:14,440
I just noticed that you seem to be
out of money a lot lately...
1325
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:16,600
and I want to make sure you're not
spending your money on that.
1326
00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:19,240
No! I'm not doing drugs, Mom.
I promise.
1327
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:21,760
Coach says drugs are for losers.
1328
00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:24,640
You sure you're not high?
1329
00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:26,400
No!
1330
00:58:26,480 --> 00:58:28,080
Well, I notice you're
really going at your food.
1331
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:29,160
Got the munchies?
1332
00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:31,720
Anyways, we just worry about you.
1333
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:32,880
I understand that.
1334
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:36,400
Also, I'm missing a... silver platter
that was in the living room.
1335
00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:38,240
- Have you seen it?
- I'm taking Home Ec.
1336
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:40,080
We needed serving trays
for appetizers.
1337
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:41,440
- Sorry.
- Yeah, well, come to think of it...
1338
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:43,920
I'm missing a watch. You didn't
take that to Home Ec, too, did you?
1339
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,000
Oh, yeah. We're making
watch cupcakes, Jim.
1340
00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:47,560
Watch it, wise guy.
1341
00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:54,120
Hey.
1342
00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:58,520
Careful, Wade. You don't sneak
up on somebody like that.
1343
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:00,000
- Sorry.
- No, it's okay.
1344
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:01,800
But I could have jumped up
and killed you in two moves...
1345
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:04,480
and then, I don't know,
I'd feel guilty.
1346
00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:07,000
- I talked to Brooke.
- Really? Have a seat.
1347
00:59:07,080 --> 00:59:09,160
- I think she might like me.
- Yeah?
1348
00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:11,000
Yeah. At least a little bit.
1349
00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:12,880
That's all you need.
Get your foot in the door.
1350
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:15,400
I don't think I would have had the
confidence to have tried without you.
1351
00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:16,720
- I mean...
- Come on.
1352
00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:19,000
It's been great having someone around
who, like, likes me...
1353
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:20,200
and isn't making fun of me...
1354
00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:22,560
or telling me to join
the football team like my stepdad.
1355
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:24,440
Just do your best.
Be all you can be.
1356
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:25,800
What's the Army always say?
1357
00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:27,560
"Have it your way."
1358
00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:31,320
I think that's Burger King.
1359
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:35,240
Where do you think
they got it from?
1360
00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:40,840
Man, talking about woman...
1361
00:59:40,920 --> 00:59:42,320
What else is there?
1362
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:43,440
Here.
1363
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:45,600
We made this for you.
1364
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:48,440
An army of four.
1365
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:52,680
I don't know if you
understand, but...
1366
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:56,720
before we met you, we thought
our lives were gonna suck forever.
1367
00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:58,240
At least I did.
1368
01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:01,800
Well, you're right.
1369
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:06,040
I don't understand because of
how hardened I am.
1370
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:09,720
Tough thing about what I do is
I can't let my guard down.
1371
01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:12,360
Well...
1372
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:13,520
for what it's worth...
1373
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:17,120
I hope after all this is done,
you'll still be my friend.
1374
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:18,320
Bye.
1375
01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:28,560
And here I was all worried
that you were gonna take me...
1376
01:00:28,640 --> 01:00:31,480
to some hip dance club or something.
1377
01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:34,480
That's definitely not me.
1378
01:00:34,600 --> 01:00:36,360
But, no, I'm actually more of...
1379
01:00:36,440 --> 01:00:39,160
a kind of simple,
just down to earth outdoorsman.
1380
01:00:39,240 --> 01:00:41,640
I like that you don't try too hard.
1381
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:45,880
The truth is, this is me
trying really, really hard.
1382
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:47,440
That's cute.
1383
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:52,400
Look, I want to talk to you.
I mean...
1384
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:58,720
There's some things
I want you to know about me.
1385
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:00,880
I want us to look each other
in the eye...
1386
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:02,560
and I want us to
get it out on the table...
1387
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:04,600
and we just, you know,
we listen, and...
1388
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:06,320
- there's no judgment.
- God.
1389
01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:08,280
You're just so great.
1390
01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:11,320
You're really just like
the perfect guy for me.
1391
01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:13,600
- Really?
- I'm serious.
1392
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:16,160
You're just beautiful,
and you're nice to me...
1393
01:01:16,240 --> 01:01:18,360
and it's so great.
1394
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:22,480
'Cause I'm really just always
attracted to just such dirtbag guys.
1395
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:25,120
- They're out there.
- I'm a real loser magnet.
1396
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:27,120
It's, like, on some
unconscious level...
1397
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:29,720
I just need to be with a guy...
1398
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:32,200
who has absolutely nothing
going for him.
1399
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:36,200
You know, just some loser,
some bum lying pig.
1400
01:01:36,280 --> 01:01:37,560
- Stop, stop, stop, stop.
- You know, just...
1401
01:01:37,640 --> 01:01:39,520
Stop it. I get it.
1402
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:42,880
You made some bad choices,
and who hasn't?
1403
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:45,200
It's just you were starting
to rant a little bit.
1404
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:46,280
It's just I'm happy to...
1405
01:01:46,360 --> 01:01:47,760
- be with somebody...
- I know.
1406
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,200
You're with a doctor now.
1407
01:01:51,200 --> 01:01:52,520
Yeah.
1408
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:54,280
Thank God.
1409
01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:57,320
Now let's just kiss.
1410
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:11,680
Did you do that?
1411
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:15,520
Kid just jumped out of the bushes
and started jamming. That's weird.
1412
01:02:16,280 --> 01:02:18,320
I got nothing to do with it.
1413
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:43,360
- That naked guy's my teacher!
- What?
1414
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:44,880
- Yeah!
- He ain't your teacher!
1415
01:02:44,960 --> 01:02:48,080
Every day he's at the off-ramp.
I give him some change.
1416
01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:49,960
What do you mean? Like a bum?
1417
01:02:50,160 --> 01:02:53,960
What are you talking about?
He's not a bum! Less fortunate!
1418
01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:56,440
Yeah, or get out of the way.
1419
01:02:56,520 --> 01:02:57,960
How're you doing?
1420
01:02:58,040 --> 01:02:59,480
- Hey, how's it going, Drillbit?
- Hey, Drillbit.
1421
01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:01,160
So, listen, you know the thing
we talked about?
1422
01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:02,440
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1423
01:03:02,520 --> 01:03:03,600
- Plan's off.
- What?
1424
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:04,800
Drillbit!
1425
01:03:04,880 --> 01:03:05,960
Drillbit.
1426
01:03:06,720 --> 01:03:07,960
What do you mean the plan's off?
1427
01:03:08,040 --> 01:03:09,480
It's not off. I just mean let's...
1428
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:10,600
Let's postpone it.
1429
01:03:10,680 --> 01:03:12,400
'Cause I don't think we need to
get their belongings now.
1430
01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:14,720
These kids, they kind of look at me
like I'm a hero and, I don't know...
1431
01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:16,000
let's run with that for a little bit.
1432
01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:17,240
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
1433
01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:19,080
You're really getting into
this whole teacher thing here.
1434
01:03:19,160 --> 01:03:20,200
How? With the sweaters...
1435
01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:22,160
- and the loafers.
- They're wingtips.
1436
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:24,080
You look like you teach Fagonometry.
1437
01:03:24,160 --> 01:03:26,120
What the hell is this? Who are you?
1438
01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:27,920
I got an old saying
for you, Drillbit...
1439
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:29,840
"You can't polish a turd."
1440
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:32,040
Hey, Don, first of all,
that's not an old saying.
1441
01:03:32,120 --> 01:03:33,160
You stole that from me.
1442
01:03:33,240 --> 01:03:35,640
I say it all the time.
Secondly, I'm insulted.
1443
01:03:35,720 --> 01:03:36,840
Well, you should be.
1444
01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:38,320
Drillbit, I know you.
1445
01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:40,560
And the real you
would do this deal, man.
1446
01:03:40,640 --> 01:03:42,440
There's a lot of heads
that want to feed off of this, man.
1447
01:03:42,520 --> 01:03:44,040
Don't let us down.
1448
01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:45,880
No! No, that's just it.
1449
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:47,840
For the first time,
I'm not letting everybody down.
1450
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:50,000
And now you're not making any sense!
1451
01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:52,280
That guy's a fraud!
1452
01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:55,200
He's a bum in a
Mister Rogers sweater!
1453
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:01,320
Okay, check it out, check it out.
I just saw the new substitute...
1454
01:04:01,400 --> 01:04:03,280
Delta-four-niner,
this is Yu-Gi-Oh-seven.
1455
01:04:03,360 --> 01:04:05,080
On the highway to the danger zone.
1456
01:04:05,160 --> 01:04:06,800
Repeat, on the highway, over.
1457
01:04:06,880 --> 01:04:08,680
Oh, shitballs!
1458
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:10,920
Yu-Gi-Oh-four-seven,
you are not clear to cross.
1459
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:13,040
Repeat, you got a bogie northbound.
1460
01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:14,720
- Oh, crap.
- Guys, hold your position.
1461
01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:17,480
I'm en route.
Guys, hold your position!
1462
01:04:18,840 --> 01:04:20,520
Come here, you little rat turds!
1463
01:04:20,600 --> 01:04:22,160
No! Come on!
1464
01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:23,600
Yo, so what'd you do?
1465
01:04:23,680 --> 01:04:24,880
What, did you give
the substitute teacher...
1466
01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:26,000
some spare change...
1467
01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:27,920
- so he'd give us a hard time?
- Get them!
1468
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:29,200
Mister Filkins?
1469
01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:30,840
Excuse me. I need you
to get to class.
1470
01:04:30,920 --> 01:04:33,120
And you three,
I want you out of here, too!
1471
01:04:33,200 --> 01:04:34,520
- Go on!
- Hey.
1472
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:36,520
Get out of my face, you bum!
1473
01:04:36,600 --> 01:04:39,200
Maybe I will
if you stop hassling these kids.
1474
01:04:39,280 --> 01:04:40,600
But until you're ready to do that...
1475
01:04:40,680 --> 01:04:42,840
I'm gonna give you some detentions
to think about it.
1476
01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:44,960
Please, just don't,
don't give me detention.
1477
01:04:45,040 --> 01:04:47,840
Yeah. That's my power,
and I will exercise it.
1478
01:04:47,920 --> 01:04:49,240
And then what?
You gonna make us...
1479
01:04:49,320 --> 01:04:51,520
shower on the beach
with you and the rest of the bums?
1480
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:54,000
- Yeah, we're on to you, buddy.
- What's that supposed to mean?
1481
01:04:54,080 --> 01:04:55,480
What a freak.
You got some weird...
1482
01:04:55,560 --> 01:04:57,480
little fantasies there, kid.
1483
01:04:57,560 --> 01:05:00,240
Okay, here's the deal.
Let me make it real simple.
1484
01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:01,840
I'm a faculty...
1485
01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:04,800
Punk-ass!
1486
01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:07,200
He got me right in the ear!
1487
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:08,320
Run! Run!
1488
01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:10,920
- Yeah! Run! Save yourself!
- Run!
1489
01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:12,400
Medic!
1490
01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:14,320
Medic!
1491
01:05:14,720 --> 01:05:16,680
I got hit right in the nose!
1492
01:05:16,760 --> 01:05:19,360
Followed up by a shot to the ear!
1493
01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:21,040
Oh, man.
1494
01:05:21,120 --> 01:05:22,560
Okay.
1495
01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:26,880
Oh, that doesn't work at all.
1496
01:05:27,880 --> 01:05:30,200
- This whole time he's a bum!
- Hey! Hey, you guys, hold it!
1497
01:05:30,280 --> 01:05:32,640
Wait up! Guys, let me explain!
1498
01:05:32,720 --> 01:05:34,360
Explain what?
1499
01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:36,800
Filkins is just gonna come after us
harder than ever!
1500
01:05:36,880 --> 01:05:37,880
- You guys, hold it.
- What was that about...
1501
01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:40,000
showering on the beach?
Why would you shower on the beach?
1502
01:05:40,080 --> 01:05:41,080
- Why don't we all just...
- It's part of my morning...
1503
01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:42,160
- shower on the beach?
- fitness regimen!
1504
01:05:42,240 --> 01:05:43,480
I jog on the beach five miles...
1505
01:05:43,560 --> 01:05:45,880
then I swim ten miles.
That's what I do to stay in shape.
1506
01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:48,360
- Then I shower.
- So, why didn't you defend yourself?
1507
01:05:48,440 --> 01:05:51,160
'Cause I got sucker punched!
Look at this!
1508
01:05:52,560 --> 01:05:55,040
Then I got hit in the ear,
which you probably can't even see...
1509
01:05:55,120 --> 01:05:57,200
'cause it's so deep
in the ear canal.
1510
01:05:57,280 --> 01:05:59,360
I didn't really get hurt,
but I just kind of went down...
1511
01:05:59,440 --> 01:06:01,280
to give you guys a chance
to get away.
1512
01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:02,840
We paid you to beat him up!
1513
01:06:02,920 --> 01:06:05,960
How am I gonna beat him up
with all these kids around?
1514
01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:08,920
Okay, then the principal comes
and maybe some cops.
1515
01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:11,000
They'll find out
I'm not a real teacher.
1516
01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:13,400
What good am I
if I'm sitting there in jail?
1517
01:06:13,480 --> 01:06:16,240
Look, I took a bullet
for you guys today.
1518
01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:18,040
You guys got off scot-free!
1519
01:06:18,120 --> 01:06:19,680
- Did you get hurt?
- No.
1520
01:06:19,760 --> 01:06:21,840
- Did you get hurt?
- No.
1521
01:06:21,920 --> 01:06:24,560
I'm like one of those guys
jumping in front of the President.
1522
01:06:24,720 --> 01:06:27,400
And, look, I'm not expecting
a thank you. That's my job.
1523
01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:29,160
But maybe give me a bonus
or something.
1524
01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:32,080
Sly used to throw in a car
every now and then.
1525
01:06:34,600 --> 01:06:36,280
I'm so sorry, Drillbit.
1526
01:06:39,240 --> 01:06:41,520
What am I gonna do with you guys?
1527
01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:44,680
You want some cereal?
1528
01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:47,880
- You got any Cap'n Crunch?
- Yeah.
1529
01:06:48,600 --> 01:06:49,640
Let's go.
1530
01:06:52,480 --> 01:06:53,480
- Drillbit!
- What are you doing?
1531
01:06:53,560 --> 01:06:54,960
- What the hell?
- No, don't, stop. Come on.
1532
01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:56,440
- Put that stuff down!
- Hey, no way, man!
1533
01:06:56,520 --> 01:06:58,080
- Drillbit, why you yelling?
- Drillbit, back off, man!
1534
01:06:58,160 --> 01:07:00,360
- You know these guys?
- No, I don't know these people!
1535
01:07:00,440 --> 01:07:01,480
We're almost done here, all right?
1536
01:07:01,560 --> 01:07:03,880
- I am freaking out!
- My parents are gonna kill me!
1537
01:07:03,960 --> 01:07:05,240
- What the hell's going on?
- Everything's fine!
1538
01:07:05,320 --> 01:07:06,600
- Screw this, man! I'm out of here!
- Wait a second!
1539
01:07:06,680 --> 01:07:07,720
- Why are you all yelling?
- Don?
1540
01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:09,360
- Not like this!
- Take it easy!
1541
01:07:09,440 --> 01:07:10,960
- What are you doing?
- Just take it easy
1542
01:07:11,040 --> 01:07:12,520
- man. Relax.
- This isn't the plan.
1543
01:07:12,600 --> 01:07:14,240
All the shit's gone in your house.
1544
01:07:14,320 --> 01:07:17,040
All the shit is gone in my house!
1545
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:18,440
- Are you...
- Don't you touch me!
1546
01:07:18,520 --> 01:07:20,880
Don't make me Billy Jack your ass.
1547
01:07:22,360 --> 01:07:23,680
Watch out!
1548
01:07:33,560 --> 01:07:35,680
That's how you Billy Jack
somebody's ass.
1549
01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:36,920
Come on, Bernie, let's go!
1550
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:38,760
- Let's go!
- Go on, get out of the way, man!
1551
01:07:38,840 --> 01:07:40,440
- Let's go!
- Let's go!
1552
01:07:40,560 --> 01:07:42,640
You'd better run! I saw your faces!
1553
01:07:42,720 --> 01:07:45,080
I got a photogenic memory!
1554
01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:47,400
Get out of my house, you asshole!
1555
01:07:47,480 --> 01:07:50,080
What? There's another one?
I'll kill the asshole!
1556
01:07:50,160 --> 01:07:51,880
No! You, asshole!
Get out of my house, now!
1557
01:07:51,960 --> 01:07:53,040
Look at what you've done!
1558
01:07:53,120 --> 01:07:54,880
I didn't do anything!
1559
01:07:54,960 --> 01:07:56,800
I'm trying to help you guys!
Look at me!
1560
01:07:56,880 --> 01:07:58,640
Wade, I think one of them
peed in your kitchen.
1561
01:07:58,720 --> 01:07:59,800
Great!
1562
01:07:59,880 --> 01:08:00,920
Should I call the police?
1563
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:03,040
No, don't call the police!
Just stop.
1564
01:08:03,120 --> 01:08:04,840
Drillbit, just tell us the truth.
1565
01:08:04,920 --> 01:08:06,720
You can't handle the truth!
I can't...
1566
01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:08,120
What do you want to hear?
1567
01:08:08,200 --> 01:08:10,120
That I was raised in an orphanage?
1568
01:08:10,200 --> 01:08:11,680
That I... That no one wanted me?
1569
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:12,880
You don't want to hear that!
1570
01:08:12,960 --> 01:08:14,960
'Cause that's a lie, too!
1571
01:08:17,200 --> 01:08:19,280
Fine.
Maybe I wasn't completely straight...
1572
01:08:19,360 --> 01:08:20,600
with you guys about who I am.
1573
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:22,440
So you lied about being
in the military?
1574
01:08:22,520 --> 01:08:25,880
No! That's true. I was trained
by the United States Army.
1575
01:08:25,960 --> 01:08:28,640
Then why could a teenager beat you up
with so little effort?
1576
01:08:28,720 --> 01:08:30,360
Because I don't like violence.
1577
01:08:30,440 --> 01:08:32,880
I wasn't cut out to be a soldier.
1578
01:08:33,240 --> 01:08:35,520
I like the parts
with the rappelling and the...
1579
01:08:35,600 --> 01:08:38,360
crawling through the mud and
the swinging on the monkey bars...
1580
01:08:38,440 --> 01:08:41,760
and the helping the wounded,
but I don't like confrontation.
1581
01:08:41,840 --> 01:08:45,680
Even this, with you three ganging up
on me, is not... I don't...
1582
01:08:45,760 --> 01:08:48,000
- It's really... I'm sorry.
- Shit!
1583
01:08:48,080 --> 01:08:51,640
You were in the military?
Tell me where you served.
1584
01:08:51,720 --> 01:08:54,080
My company was in the Middle East
1585
01:08:54,320 --> 01:08:56,880
and I was there for like half a day.
I saw...
1586
01:08:57,440 --> 01:09:00,600
saw some camels and heard some...
1587
01:09:00,760 --> 01:09:03,920
I think, were some explosions,
I don't know.
1588
01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:05,240
And it was...
1589
01:09:05,840 --> 01:09:07,280
It was so hot over there.
1590
01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:08,400
It was...
1591
01:09:08,760 --> 01:09:10,880
I just climbed in the wheel
well of a cargo plane...
1592
01:09:10,960 --> 01:09:12,040
and I flew back to the U.S.
1593
01:09:12,120 --> 01:09:13,120
I went AWOL.
1594
01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:14,200
It was...
1595
01:09:14,280 --> 01:09:16,560
Is your name even Drillbit?
1596
01:09:16,840 --> 01:09:18,320
Is my name...
1597
01:09:19,040 --> 01:09:21,160
What? How can you ask me that?
1598
01:09:21,240 --> 01:09:22,680
Is it?
1599
01:09:23,480 --> 01:09:24,840
No, it's...
1600
01:09:25,320 --> 01:09:27,800
It's Alamo Taylor.
1601
01:09:30,840 --> 01:09:32,960
No. That's a lie, too.
1602
01:09:33,800 --> 01:09:37,000
There I go, trying to impress
a bunch of kids again.
1603
01:09:38,640 --> 01:09:40,560
When are you gonna grow up?
1604
01:09:40,640 --> 01:09:43,200
My real name is Bob Taylor.
1605
01:09:43,320 --> 01:09:45,960
Not Robert, just Bob.
1606
01:09:46,560 --> 01:09:47,760
There, you satisfied?
1607
01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:49,640
And I didn't kill anyone
with a drill bit.
1608
01:09:49,720 --> 01:09:51,360
Although when I was in high school...
1609
01:09:51,440 --> 01:09:54,000
I did puncture my pinky
with a drill bit.
1610
01:09:54,080 --> 01:09:55,560
And everyone started
calling me Drillbit...
1611
01:09:55,640 --> 01:09:56,960
making fun of me.
1612
01:09:57,040 --> 01:09:58,720
- Okay? And you can see the scar...
- No, get away.
1613
01:09:58,800 --> 01:10:00,560
if you look closely right there.
Can you see?
1614
01:10:00,640 --> 01:10:04,400
Look, Ryan, look, you can see it.
It's real. Look.
1615
01:10:04,480 --> 01:10:05,480
Can you see it in the light?
1616
01:10:05,560 --> 01:10:07,920
So you were just using us
to take our money and...
1617
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:10,720
everything in my house?
1618
01:10:17,360 --> 01:10:20,360
That's kind of
an oversimplification.
1619
01:10:21,160 --> 01:10:23,240
I thought you cared about us.
1620
01:10:23,600 --> 01:10:24,960
I do.
1621
01:10:25,200 --> 01:10:26,240
I just...
1622
01:10:27,040 --> 01:10:29,680
I thought you were my friend.
1623
01:10:30,280 --> 01:10:31,840
Get out, Drillbit
1624
01:10:31,960 --> 01:10:33,600
and don't ever come back.
1625
01:10:38,200 --> 01:10:39,920
Leave!
1626
01:10:41,400 --> 01:10:42,880
I'm sorry.
1627
01:10:50,440 --> 01:10:51,440
Hello?
1628
01:10:51,560 --> 01:10:52,880
Hey. Yeah, look, I know...
1629
01:10:52,960 --> 01:10:54,560
I'm sorry, I know
I was supposed to meet you...
1630
01:10:54,640 --> 01:10:57,160
but I'm just having
a real terrible day.
1631
01:10:57,240 --> 01:10:58,840
Where are you?
1632
01:10:59,320 --> 01:11:03,120
Remember you said you had
that real self-destructive pattern...
1633
01:11:03,200 --> 01:11:04,600
of always going out with guys...
1634
01:11:04,680 --> 01:11:08,000
that were just real losers,
just dirtbags?
1635
01:11:08,080 --> 01:11:10,000
Total zeros.
1636
01:11:10,080 --> 01:11:11,800
- Yes.
- Well.
1637
01:11:11,880 --> 01:11:14,240
You might not be
out of the woods yet with that.
1638
01:11:14,640 --> 01:11:18,240
No, you said you were a doctor.
You're a doctor.
1639
01:11:18,400 --> 01:11:19,600
You're not a doctor?
1640
01:11:19,680 --> 01:11:21,120
No, I'm not a doctor.
1641
01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:24,600
I'm a homeless U.S. Army deserter.
I was...
1642
01:11:24,680 --> 01:11:26,320
I'm not a teacher,
but I'm at the school.
1643
01:11:26,400 --> 01:11:27,680
I'm trying to protect these kids.
1644
01:11:27,760 --> 01:11:30,640
What did you say about homeless?
1645
01:11:31,160 --> 01:11:36,080
Like, metaphorically speaking
or in a box?
1646
01:11:38,320 --> 01:11:40,160
You got to let it out.
1647
01:11:40,760 --> 01:11:44,080
You got to just let it out. Just...
1648
01:11:49,960 --> 01:11:51,200
That's not it.
1649
01:11:51,280 --> 01:11:53,560
Drillbit? I mean, Bob.
1650
01:11:53,640 --> 01:11:55,360
It's us, the guys.
1651
01:11:55,440 --> 01:11:56,880
Pick up, Bob.
1652
01:11:56,960 --> 01:11:58,600
Yeah, pick up, Drillbit.
1653
01:11:59,200 --> 01:12:00,240
Boys?
1654
01:12:00,320 --> 01:12:02,440
We just called to say
we're calling the cops on you...
1655
01:12:02,520 --> 01:12:03,520
and we hope you spend...
1656
01:12:03,600 --> 01:12:06,160
the rest of your pathetic life
in prison!
1657
01:12:06,400 --> 01:12:08,120
Now I see why people
call you Drillbit.
1658
01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:09,920
Because you screw people!
1659
01:12:10,040 --> 01:12:13,160
You're a jackass and a dirtbag.
1660
01:12:13,320 --> 01:12:15,440
And I want my bar mitzvah
money back.
1661
01:12:15,520 --> 01:12:18,880
Oh, yeah, and I'd like
my walkie-talkie back. Over.
1662
01:12:24,640 --> 01:12:25,640
I tell you what...
1663
01:12:25,720 --> 01:12:26,920
I'll give you fifteen hundred
for everything.
1664
01:12:27,000 --> 01:12:28,320
Fifteen hundred? Come on, man.
1665
01:12:28,400 --> 01:12:30,240
This stuff holds a lot of
sentimental value.
1666
01:12:30,320 --> 01:12:32,840
- To who?
- To the people I stole it from.
1667
01:12:32,920 --> 01:12:34,240
I don't care about them.
Fifteen hundred.
1668
01:12:34,320 --> 01:12:35,560
All right. Deal.
1669
01:12:35,640 --> 01:12:36,840
What do I do?
Just back this thing up?
1670
01:12:36,920 --> 01:12:38,960
- Yeah, back it right up.
- All right.
1671
01:12:42,760 --> 01:12:44,120
How're you doing, Don?
1672
01:12:47,080 --> 01:12:49,960
You got a real stupid laugh,
you know that, Don?
1673
01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:53,000
How about you go ahead
and hop on out of that van here...
1674
01:12:53,080 --> 01:12:54,800
so I can kick your ass again?
1675
01:12:54,880 --> 01:12:57,520
Sorry, but this haul's
getting returned to sender.
1676
01:12:57,600 --> 01:12:59,120
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, it is, Don.
1677
01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:00,520
And I'll tell you another thing
that's gonna happen.
1678
01:13:00,600 --> 01:13:02,320
This left foot is gonna go
on the right side...
1679
01:13:02,400 --> 01:13:03,720
- of your face!
- Oh, give me a break, Drillbit.
1680
01:13:03,800 --> 01:13:05,440
I know you and the Drillbit
I know isn't...
1681
01:13:05,520 --> 01:13:07,480
- capable of really doing it!
- Yeah!
1682
01:13:13,760 --> 01:13:16,880
I'm giving you one more chance
to save this friendship!
1683
01:13:20,040 --> 01:13:21,640
Damn it! You ready for this, Don?
1684
01:13:21,720 --> 01:13:23,680
- No!
- Yeah!
1685
01:13:31,120 --> 01:13:33,240
Polish that turd, Don!
1686
01:13:34,720 --> 01:13:35,760
Of course it was your fault!
1687
01:13:35,840 --> 01:13:37,320
You were home!
You should have stopped them!
1688
01:13:37,400 --> 01:13:38,800
Bear with me.
1689
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:41,480
- I didn't mean for this to happen.
- Oh, God.
1690
01:13:41,840 --> 01:13:44,400
Please don't scream.
1691
01:13:45,400 --> 01:13:46,800
What the hell?
I thought we were robbed!
1692
01:13:46,880 --> 01:13:48,240
We were!
1693
01:13:48,320 --> 01:13:50,960
We didn't get robbed!
We got rearranged!
1694
01:13:51,120 --> 01:13:53,400
You and your weirdo friends
have a marijuana party?
1695
01:13:53,480 --> 01:13:54,480
- No!
- Oh, honey.
1696
01:13:54,560 --> 01:13:56,200
- Punish him, Dad.
- Yeah, don't let him...
1697
01:13:56,280 --> 01:13:58,000
- get away with this.
- Are you smoking pot?
1698
01:13:58,080 --> 01:13:59,760
No. I'm really confused.
1699
01:13:59,840 --> 01:14:01,280
No, no, Wade.
1700
01:14:01,360 --> 01:14:02,960
Drillbit must have done it.
1701
01:14:03,040 --> 01:14:04,480
Who's Drillbit?
1702
01:14:04,560 --> 01:14:06,400
You tell me what's
going on now, Wade.
1703
01:14:06,480 --> 01:14:07,560
Oh god.
1704
01:14:07,640 --> 01:14:09,160
Who knows what might have happened?
1705
01:14:09,240 --> 01:14:10,240
This guy's a veteran!
1706
01:14:10,320 --> 01:14:11,760
How many people
might he have killed?
1707
01:14:11,840 --> 01:14:13,920
Did anybody see
"To Catch a Predator" on Dateline?
1708
01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:15,360
- I watched that!
- I saw that, yeah.
1709
01:14:15,440 --> 01:14:17,360
It's where they set the booby trap
for the pedophiles.
1710
01:14:17,440 --> 01:14:19,320
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- A grandfather, a priest...
1711
01:14:19,400 --> 01:14:21,200
I mean, could you imagine it?
You think you're on a date...
1712
01:14:21,280 --> 01:14:22,800
and then all of a sudden,
police are everywhere.
1713
01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:23,880
- Yeah.
- Oh my God this guy knows...
1714
01:14:23,960 --> 01:14:24,960
- where we live.
- Yeah.
1715
01:14:25,080 --> 01:14:26,600
Okay.
I think you'll be glad to know...
1716
01:14:26,680 --> 01:14:30,480
I gave security camera footage
of this Drillbit to the police...
1717
01:14:30,560 --> 01:14:32,520
and they said they'd be
watching for him.
1718
01:14:32,600 --> 01:14:34,640
No, what the hell's the matter
with you guys?
1719
01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:36,960
Are you mentally defective
or something?
1720
01:14:37,040 --> 01:14:39,080
You got to understand,
Drillbit was around because...
1721
01:14:39,160 --> 01:14:41,280
this psychopath over here
was gonna murder us!
1722
01:14:41,400 --> 01:14:43,400
I mean, Filkins is
the real criminal!
1723
01:14:43,480 --> 01:14:44,800
Yes! He has a samurai sword...
1724
01:14:44,880 --> 01:14:47,400
- he has used on his other victims!
- All right...
1725
01:14:51,440 --> 01:14:52,840
Sit down!
1726
01:14:54,160 --> 01:14:55,800
Sit down!
1727
01:14:55,880 --> 01:14:57,160
Thank you very much.
1728
01:14:57,240 --> 01:14:59,160
Now, Terry.
1729
01:14:59,240 --> 01:15:01,920
Is there any truth to this?
1730
01:15:02,280 --> 01:15:03,440
Oh, yeah.
1731
01:15:03,600 --> 01:15:04,920
All of it.
1732
01:15:05,560 --> 01:15:08,000
I'm really a samurai warrior from
the fourteenth century...
1733
01:15:08,080 --> 01:15:09,560
sent to kill them.
1734
01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:15,000
He's cute.
1735
01:15:15,080 --> 01:15:17,920
Okay, I hope I speak
for everyone here...
1736
01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:21,240
in saying that I feel
this issue is resolved.
1737
01:15:21,320 --> 01:15:22,320
- Thank you.
- All right?
1738
01:15:22,400 --> 01:15:24,560
Very good. Thank you
for coming in, folks.
1739
01:15:24,720 --> 01:15:25,840
- Thank you.
- All right, yeah.
1740
01:15:25,920 --> 01:15:27,680
- Hey, wasn't that fun?
- Hell, yeah.
1741
01:15:27,760 --> 01:15:29,280
- Oh, my goodness!
- Great.
1742
01:15:29,360 --> 01:15:30,480
- You feel better now, honey?
- Terry, honey.
1743
01:15:30,560 --> 01:15:31,920
I did not know you were all alone.
1744
01:15:32,000 --> 01:15:33,920
We want to have you over
to the house for dinner, okay?
1745
01:15:34,000 --> 01:15:37,040
- That would be wonderful!
- Wade could use more friends.
1746
01:15:43,880 --> 01:15:45,760
Give me one, please.
1747
01:15:49,200 --> 01:15:51,280
You're kind of a born loser.
1748
01:15:51,800 --> 01:15:53,080
It's funny.
1749
01:15:53,280 --> 01:15:54,800
It's not funny.
1750
01:15:54,880 --> 01:15:56,680
It's funny to me.
1751
01:15:57,240 --> 01:16:00,760
Come on, don't jinx me.
Don't jinx me.
1752
01:16:01,320 --> 01:16:03,120
Five hundred! Yes!
1753
01:16:03,200 --> 01:16:04,280
Yes! I did it!
1754
01:16:04,360 --> 01:16:05,680
- I got it, man!
- Dude!
1755
01:16:05,760 --> 01:16:06,760
Look at that!
1756
01:16:06,840 --> 01:16:09,400
- You got a ticket to Canada!
- Yes! You better believe it!
1757
01:16:09,480 --> 01:16:10,520
Come on, man!
1758
01:16:10,600 --> 01:16:12,800
Finally!
Finally, I get one!
1759
01:16:12,880 --> 01:16:13,880
Come here, you!
1760
01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:16,200
This candy's on me! Put it down!
1761
01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:19,160
You got it! Well, maybe just get
one of them. Here.
1762
01:16:19,240 --> 01:16:20,800
Here you go!
1763
01:16:32,440 --> 01:16:34,440
Okay, keep your eyes peeled.
1764
01:16:37,400 --> 01:16:40,480
- Do you see Filkins?
- No, but I see Brooke.
1765
01:16:40,560 --> 01:16:41,920
Gonna go for it.
1766
01:16:42,000 --> 01:16:43,480
I'm gonna ask her out.
1767
01:16:43,840 --> 01:16:45,240
- Really?
- Yeah.
1768
01:16:45,320 --> 01:16:47,480
You waited all this time. Why now?
1769
01:16:47,600 --> 01:16:49,800
Why not?
My life sucks so badly...
1770
01:16:49,880 --> 01:16:50,920
even if she says no...
1771
01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:53,120
it's not like I'll have
very far to fall.
1772
01:16:53,720 --> 01:16:55,120
I don't know.
1773
01:17:00,440 --> 01:17:01,480
Hi.
1774
01:17:02,000 --> 01:17:03,000
Hi.
1775
01:17:03,080 --> 01:17:05,400
Look, I don't know how
to do this.
1776
01:17:05,960 --> 01:17:08,240
In fact, I've been wanting
to do this for a while.
1777
01:17:08,320 --> 01:17:09,960
I just didn't know
when would be a good time.
1778
01:17:10,040 --> 01:17:12,240
I don't... I didn't know if it
woul ever be a good time.
1779
01:17:12,320 --> 01:17:14,080
I mean, if I'd ever think...
1780
01:17:18,080 --> 01:17:19,640
It's okay, Brooke.
1781
01:17:21,920 --> 01:17:24,880
Yo, bro, I swear to God
those ain't my sodas...
1782
01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:26,720
but if you wanted to, say,
hire me or something...
1783
01:17:26,800 --> 01:17:28,800
like a bodyguard,
I think maybe I could...
1784
01:17:28,880 --> 01:17:32,200
dedicate my life
to finding the real culprit.
1785
01:17:34,160 --> 01:17:35,320
Wade, come on.
I'm okay with this...
1786
01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:36,760
so let's just go.
1787
01:17:37,040 --> 01:17:38,920
What'd you say, ho?
1788
01:17:39,240 --> 01:17:40,760
Okay, you know what?
What is your problem?
1789
01:17:40,840 --> 01:17:42,800
Why don't you just leave them alone?
1790
01:17:42,880 --> 01:17:44,360
What are you gonna do, bro?
1791
01:17:44,440 --> 01:17:46,080
What are you gonna do?
1792
01:17:47,360 --> 01:17:51,680
You aren't gonna do anything,
because you don't have any balls.
1793
01:17:52,320 --> 01:17:54,840
- Leave him alone!
- It's just not in you.
1794
01:17:59,400 --> 01:18:00,720
You see?
1795
01:18:01,000 --> 01:18:02,320
Look at that.
1796
01:18:02,400 --> 01:18:04,240
Sackless!
1797
01:18:08,320 --> 01:18:10,600
Why do you even waste my time?
1798
01:18:10,880 --> 01:18:12,320
You're pathetic.
1799
01:18:17,160 --> 01:18:18,480
You all right, Wade?
1800
01:18:19,240 --> 01:18:21,120
- Don't worry about that guy.
- He's just insecure inside.
1801
01:18:21,200 --> 01:18:22,840
Get up. Let's get out of here.
1802
01:18:22,920 --> 01:18:25,040
Wade?
Where are you going?
1803
01:18:25,120 --> 01:18:26,200
T-Dog! Stop him!
1804
01:18:26,280 --> 01:18:27,760
Fight! Fight!
1805
01:18:30,040 --> 01:18:31,080
Come on, Wade!
1806
01:18:31,160 --> 01:18:33,560
I'll kick the crap out of you
right now. You know why?
1807
01:18:33,640 --> 01:18:36,480
Half because everyone is
sick of your garbage...
1808
01:18:36,560 --> 01:18:39,000
and half because of
what you said to Brooke!
1809
01:18:40,720 --> 01:18:42,480
Do you think I'm dumb?
1810
01:18:43,360 --> 01:18:45,440
Trying to trick me into
getting myself in trouble?
1811
01:18:45,520 --> 01:18:47,520
Fine.
Then we'll beat your face in...
1812
01:18:47,600 --> 01:18:49,360
somewhere else.
Anywhere. Go ahead.
1813
01:18:49,440 --> 01:18:50,440
- You name it.
- Okay, good.
1814
01:18:50,520 --> 01:18:51,600
Everybody! Everybody!
1815
01:18:51,680 --> 01:18:55,160
I'm gonna kick their asses tonight
at my house!
1816
01:18:55,240 --> 01:18:56,680
Everybody should come!
1817
01:18:56,760 --> 01:18:58,480
It's gonna be hilarious!
1818
01:18:58,560 --> 01:19:00,440
Ultimate Geek Fighting!
1819
01:19:00,520 --> 01:19:03,920
Once you step on my property,
you're freaking trespassing...
1820
01:19:04,000 --> 01:19:06,480
brother, and I can
do anything I want.
1821
01:19:06,560 --> 01:19:09,560
You're nothing but a pathetic wimp,
and everyone's gonna know...
1822
01:19:09,640 --> 01:19:14,040
by the end of tonight, brother!
And I will see you there!
1823
01:19:20,240 --> 01:19:21,880
What have I just done?
1824
01:19:22,520 --> 01:19:24,200
That was awesome, man.
1825
01:19:24,280 --> 01:19:26,000
Me and Emmit are gonna back you up.
1826
01:19:26,080 --> 01:19:27,640
Oh, now it's "me and Emmit".
1827
01:19:27,720 --> 01:19:30,400
You've never been nice to me, Ryan,
and I've only been kind to you.
1828
01:19:30,480 --> 01:19:32,600
And I've tried so hard
to make this friendship work...
1829
01:19:32,680 --> 01:19:35,600
but I am not going to die
for someone who won't die for me!
1830
01:19:35,960 --> 01:19:37,960
"Survival technique."
1831
01:19:38,440 --> 01:19:39,920
I renounce violence.
1832
01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:42,080
I have a future!
1833
01:19:43,120 --> 01:19:44,800
What do we do next?
1834
01:19:45,600 --> 01:19:47,560
Guess we'd better learn
how to fight.
1835
01:19:49,640 --> 01:19:51,400
- Jump left, jump left.
- Come on, Blue.
1836
01:19:51,680 --> 01:19:53,000
- That's what I'm talking about!
- No, no, no, no.
1837
01:19:53,080 --> 01:19:54,480
- That's what I'm talking about!
- Come on!
1838
01:19:54,560 --> 01:19:55,760
Come on! Yes!
1839
01:19:55,840 --> 01:19:58,080
This PowerBar's really working.
1840
01:19:58,280 --> 01:19:59,880
I feel stronger.
1841
01:20:00,440 --> 01:20:01,960
I feel fatter.
1842
01:20:02,080 --> 01:20:03,600
Well, what do you want me to do?
You just want me to hit you?
1843
01:20:03,680 --> 01:20:06,000
Come on. Do me this one favor.
1844
01:20:07,920 --> 01:20:09,840
That was perfect!
1845
01:20:10,840 --> 01:20:12,160
All right.
We need to learn...
1846
01:20:12,240 --> 01:20:14,000
how to take a punch.
1847
01:20:14,160 --> 01:20:16,640
You ready? Let me go first.
1848
01:20:16,920 --> 01:20:18,640
- All right?
- Okay.
1849
01:20:31,280 --> 01:20:33,000
Block out the pain.
1850
01:20:33,080 --> 01:20:35,600
Remember what that douche bag
Drillbit taught us?
1851
01:20:35,680 --> 01:20:37,960
- Mind over pain!
- Okay.
1852
01:20:38,040 --> 01:20:39,040
All right.
1853
01:20:39,840 --> 01:20:41,400
Hit me in the chest.
1854
01:20:43,600 --> 01:20:44,960
Jeez!
1855
01:20:46,040 --> 01:20:47,840
- Your knuckles are all bone!
- All right.
1856
01:20:47,920 --> 01:20:49,760
We get to call how hard
the other guy hits.
1857
01:20:49,840 --> 01:20:52,280
All right.
Ten being the hardest...
1858
01:20:52,360 --> 01:20:53,360
how hard do you want it?
1859
01:20:53,440 --> 01:20:54,440
Five.
1860
01:20:54,520 --> 01:20:55,840
In the back.
1861
01:20:58,280 --> 01:21:01,560
Oh, God!
1862
01:21:01,680 --> 01:21:02,680
Wonder what it feels like
getting hit...
1863
01:21:02,760 --> 01:21:04,440
in the middle of the forehead.
1864
01:21:07,720 --> 01:21:08,960
Jeez!
1865
01:21:10,400 --> 01:21:12,280
- All right, new rules!
- Okay.
1866
01:21:12,360 --> 01:21:13,480
I'm not gonna tell you
where I'm gonna hit you.
1867
01:21:13,560 --> 01:21:14,720
- No, I don't like that rule.
- No, it's good.
1868
01:21:14,800 --> 01:21:16,080
- No, it's not good.
- It's good. It simulates...
1869
01:21:16,160 --> 01:21:18,600
- a real fight. Trust me.
- All right, fine.
1870
01:21:22,760 --> 01:21:24,040
I can't see this coming.
1871
01:21:24,120 --> 01:21:26,200
There's no way Wade can hurt me.
1872
01:21:28,240 --> 01:21:29,800
Not balls!
1873
01:21:30,200 --> 01:21:32,440
You hit me in the nuts!
1874
01:21:33,560 --> 01:21:34,880
Dear Mom...
1875
01:21:35,560 --> 01:21:39,800
if you're reading this,
it's very possible that I'm dead.
1876
01:21:42,960 --> 01:21:47,080
If I don't survive, you should
definitely sue Emmit's family.
1877
01:21:47,160 --> 01:21:50,680
P.S. Sorry I let
your silver platter get stolen.
1878
01:21:50,760 --> 01:21:53,000
My raps and rhymes will
become more valuable now.
1879
01:21:53,080 --> 01:21:55,040
You're free to sell them
to Ghostface Killah.
1880
01:21:59,880 --> 01:22:02,440
Remember the plan.
Strike first and strike hard.
1881
01:22:02,520 --> 01:22:03,920
You go for the head.
1882
01:22:04,000 --> 01:22:05,800
I'll go for the nuts.
1883
01:22:45,600 --> 01:22:48,000
It actually looks like
a pretty cool party.
1884
01:22:51,160 --> 01:22:52,400
Oh! Hey, guys.
1885
01:22:52,480 --> 01:22:54,280
So,
how does it feel...
1886
01:22:54,360 --> 01:22:57,600
to know that death is
just a few moments away?
1887
01:22:57,680 --> 01:23:00,560
- Where's Filkins?
- In the kitchen.
1888
01:23:02,800 --> 01:23:04,680
In case we don't make it...
1889
01:23:06,600 --> 01:23:08,880
- I don't want to have any regrets.
- Yeah.
1890
01:23:10,440 --> 01:23:11,760
Face!
1891
01:23:14,880 --> 01:23:17,000
I've already got the first hit
out of the way.
1892
01:23:17,080 --> 01:23:18,480
Let's get some.
1893
01:23:33,800 --> 01:23:36,040
Hey! Hey, hey.
Everybody, everybody!
1894
01:23:36,120 --> 01:23:37,680
These kids actually came!
1895
01:23:37,760 --> 01:23:41,120
These are the Siamese queers
I've been telling you about!
1896
01:23:41,480 --> 01:23:44,200
They showed up!
They really are that dumb!
1897
01:23:44,280 --> 01:23:45,840
I hate when he calls me that.
1898
01:23:45,920 --> 01:23:49,280
So we're gonna have a good time!
Because they...
1899
01:23:56,880 --> 01:23:58,520
It worked.
1900
01:23:59,160 --> 01:24:01,200
- It's over!
- That was easy.
1901
01:24:01,280 --> 01:24:03,320
- We did it, we did it!
- We did.
1902
01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:05,000
Everybody...
1903
01:24:05,280 --> 01:24:07,480
from ninth grade
to twelfth grade...
1904
01:24:07,560 --> 01:24:10,840
I promise you,
his reign of tyranny is over!
1905
01:24:10,920 --> 01:24:12,520
I proclaim it!
1906
01:24:12,600 --> 01:24:14,880
He will never bother us again!
1907
01:24:16,080 --> 01:24:17,640
And he's getting up!
1908
01:24:19,320 --> 01:24:20,600
You're dead.
1909
01:24:20,680 --> 01:24:22,320
And I'm in big trouble!
1910
01:24:35,720 --> 01:24:37,520
Catch me off guard?
1911
01:24:37,840 --> 01:24:39,640
You broke my stairs.
1912
01:24:39,720 --> 01:24:42,160
My father loved those stairs!
1913
01:24:46,320 --> 01:24:47,560
You blocking out the pain?
1914
01:24:47,640 --> 01:24:49,760
I thought I was for a second,
but I'm totally not.
1915
01:24:49,840 --> 01:24:51,320
You want to play?
1916
01:24:52,440 --> 01:24:53,800
Let's play.
1917
01:25:09,400 --> 01:25:11,200
Get up, get up, get up!
Come on, Ryan.
1918
01:25:14,240 --> 01:25:16,080
Hey, boys!
1919
01:25:19,520 --> 01:25:21,960
Yo, Jay, give me some murder music.
1920
01:25:22,880 --> 01:25:25,920
This just gets better and better.
1921
01:25:32,360 --> 01:25:33,920
All right!
1922
01:25:35,680 --> 01:25:37,480
Hey, yo, yo.
Back off.
1923
01:25:37,600 --> 01:25:39,880
I want to fight both these bitches.
1924
01:25:40,000 --> 01:25:43,360
They're yours, Filk!
They're yours, baby!
1925
01:25:43,800 --> 01:25:45,400
You're the bitch!
1926
01:25:50,800 --> 01:25:52,040
That's right!
1927
01:25:53,560 --> 01:25:54,800
What the...
1928
01:25:56,720 --> 01:25:59,720
- Emmit's got game!
- Oh, yeah!
1929
01:26:02,280 --> 01:26:04,240
- Good one, Ron!
- Come on!
1930
01:26:05,600 --> 01:26:07,920
Bear hug!
1931
01:26:12,120 --> 01:26:13,280
Come on!
1932
01:26:15,240 --> 01:26:16,520
Oh!
1933
01:26:19,000 --> 01:26:22,520
I have reach!
1934
01:26:23,880 --> 01:26:24,880
Come on, Wade!
1935
01:26:24,960 --> 01:26:27,680
You're like Rocky!
Get back out there!
1936
01:26:28,920 --> 01:26:31,560
- I can't breathe!
- You're not gonna hurt me anymore?
1937
01:26:32,840 --> 01:26:33,880
You should let go!
1938
01:26:33,960 --> 01:26:35,760
I can't breathe, Ryan,
can't breathe!
1939
01:26:35,840 --> 01:26:37,240
I'll let you go.
1940
01:26:37,680 --> 01:26:39,280
Not gonna hurt me anymore, are...
1941
01:26:40,880 --> 01:26:43,840
- I have reach!
- No! Wade!
1942
01:26:45,760 --> 01:26:48,160
Hey! Hey, there. Hey...
1943
01:26:49,360 --> 01:26:50,880
- Didn't hurt!
- Really?
1944
01:26:50,960 --> 01:26:52,040
Yeah.
1945
01:26:52,120 --> 01:26:54,160
Okay, that did.
1946
01:26:56,160 --> 01:26:57,840
Let that kid go.
1947
01:27:02,400 --> 01:27:05,960
Private Drillbit Taylor
reporting for duty!
1948
01:27:06,760 --> 01:27:07,840
You came back?
1949
01:27:07,960 --> 01:27:09,000
Yeah.
1950
01:27:09,080 --> 01:27:11,320
What the hell are you
even doing here?
1951
01:27:11,480 --> 01:27:13,480
What, you need more money
from these geeks?
1952
01:27:13,560 --> 01:27:14,680
No.
1953
01:27:14,760 --> 01:27:16,920
But this fight is over!
1954
01:27:17,000 --> 01:27:19,600
You hear me? Abierto!
1955
01:27:21,360 --> 01:27:22,560
Done.
1956
01:27:23,880 --> 01:27:26,960
It's over, people! Pack it up!
Go home!
1957
01:27:27,040 --> 01:27:30,120
Look.
You're a young man. You got...
1958
01:27:30,560 --> 01:27:32,760
You got a crazy look in your eye.
1959
01:27:33,760 --> 01:27:36,000
And it's really freaking me out
right now.
1960
01:27:40,160 --> 01:27:41,640
Nice punch.
1961
01:27:42,040 --> 01:27:45,440
I try to be reasonable, but...
I got to tell you...
1962
01:27:45,520 --> 01:27:48,080
these boys hired me as
their bodyguard...
1963
01:27:48,160 --> 01:27:49,880
and I will...
1964
01:27:49,960 --> 01:27:51,480
protect them!
1965
01:27:54,880 --> 01:27:56,360
Want to hear something crazy?
1966
01:27:56,440 --> 01:27:59,680
Deep inside you,
I know there's a good kid.
1967
01:28:01,440 --> 01:28:05,040
God damn it, I'm sick of
getting hit by this kid.
1968
01:28:05,120 --> 01:28:06,600
Come on, Drillbit.
Kick his ass.
1969
01:28:06,680 --> 01:28:10,840
- I can't! He's a minor!
- No, he's not. He's eighteen.
1970
01:28:11,400 --> 01:28:12,440
You're eighteen?
1971
01:28:12,520 --> 01:28:13,760
That's it.
1972
01:28:29,920 --> 01:28:31,440
Drillbit!
1973
01:28:32,440 --> 01:28:34,040
How old are you?
1974
01:28:34,520 --> 01:28:36,400
Okay! All right, I'm seventeen.
I'm a minor.
1975
01:28:36,480 --> 01:28:37,480
- My mom drives me to school.
- Come on!
1976
01:28:37,560 --> 01:28:38,920
I swear to God!
1977
01:28:39,600 --> 01:28:40,640
That was awesome.
1978
01:28:40,720 --> 01:28:43,560
Man, Drillbit, you're badass.
1979
01:28:43,640 --> 01:28:45,640
I don't think I could do that again.
1980
01:28:46,160 --> 01:28:49,000
It's weird.
I guess it's like when a mother...
1981
01:28:49,080 --> 01:28:51,160
lifts an automobile off a child.
1982
01:28:51,240 --> 01:28:52,560
You just get that burst of strength.
1983
01:28:52,640 --> 01:28:54,080
That's the only way
I can explain it.
1984
01:28:54,160 --> 01:28:56,680
Adrenaline. That's the word for it.
1985
01:28:57,080 --> 01:28:58,400
My hands are...
1986
01:28:59,040 --> 01:29:00,680
My hands are still shaking.
1987
01:29:00,760 --> 01:29:02,160
Thanks for coming back.
1988
01:29:02,240 --> 01:29:03,440
You kidding me? I had to do it.
1989
01:29:03,520 --> 01:29:05,440
I'm not gonna go AWOL on you boys.
1990
01:29:05,520 --> 01:29:07,400
I made that mistake one...
1991
01:29:07,480 --> 01:29:09,000
Crap on a shit sandwich!
1992
01:29:09,080 --> 01:29:11,400
I'm out of here, boys! Adios!
1993
01:29:11,920 --> 01:29:13,200
Bye, Drillbit!
1994
01:29:13,280 --> 01:29:14,760
Hey, fags!
1995
01:29:16,360 --> 01:29:18,600
This ain't over!
1996
01:29:28,480 --> 01:29:30,600
He feels no pain.
1997
01:29:34,080 --> 01:29:35,480
Was that my pinky?
1998
01:29:38,960 --> 01:29:40,080
Are you okay?
1999
01:29:40,160 --> 01:29:42,360
My finger!
You okay?
2000
01:29:42,440 --> 01:29:44,160
- I'm so sorry.
- Why did I catch a sword?
2001
01:29:44,240 --> 01:29:45,600
- I lost it. No, no.
- Let me see it. Let me see it.
2002
01:29:45,680 --> 01:29:48,040
- I lost it.
- Let me see it. Let me see it.
2003
01:29:49,000 --> 01:29:50,800
No, it's okay.
I'm blocking the pain.
2004
01:29:50,880 --> 01:29:53,200
I can't block this pain.
Get some ice for me.
2005
01:29:53,280 --> 01:29:54,760
It's not that bad.
Here, help me find it...
2006
01:29:54,840 --> 01:29:55,840
- before the ants get it.
- Where'd you last see it?
2007
01:29:55,920 --> 01:29:56,920
- Look in the grass.
- My dad, yo...
2008
01:29:57,000 --> 01:29:58,040
just don't tell my dad!
2009
01:29:58,120 --> 01:29:59,560
Help me, guys! Find it
before a rat gets it!
2010
01:29:59,640 --> 01:30:00,760
See it? Look over there.
2011
01:30:00,840 --> 01:30:01,840
- Is that it?
- Where?
2012
01:30:01,920 --> 01:30:03,480
Hey, guys, I found it!
2013
01:30:05,520 --> 01:30:07,400
No!
2014
01:30:07,720 --> 01:30:08,960
We found it.
2015
01:30:10,360 --> 01:30:11,480
Get me some ice.
2016
01:30:11,560 --> 01:30:12,600
- Ice!
- Ice!
2017
01:30:12,680 --> 01:30:13,680
Margarita all right?
2018
01:30:13,760 --> 01:30:15,280
Oh, my God.
2019
01:30:15,440 --> 01:30:16,560
Bro!
2020
01:30:16,640 --> 01:30:17,960
Come on, buddy.
We got to get you to a hospital.
2021
01:30:18,040 --> 01:30:19,800
- All right, let's go.
- Let's go.
2022
01:30:20,320 --> 01:30:21,960
It's gonna be okay.
2023
01:30:22,200 --> 01:30:23,480
Congratulations, boys.
2024
01:30:23,560 --> 01:30:25,360
You just caught
the great Bob Taylor.
2025
01:30:25,440 --> 01:30:27,600
Fantastic.
No alcohol in the car, sir.
2026
01:30:27,880 --> 01:30:29,840
Let me get the finger out.
2027
01:30:36,800 --> 01:30:38,960
- Yo, dudes, that was awesome!
- Thanks, man.
2028
01:30:39,040 --> 01:30:40,400
Man, you have no idea
how long kids...
2029
01:30:40,480 --> 01:30:41,480
- have been waiting to do that.
- Thanks.
2030
01:30:41,560 --> 01:30:43,400
Dude,
this is gonna be blogged, for sure!
2031
01:30:43,480 --> 01:30:46,800
I'm so glad I did not go to
my sister's birthday party!
2032
01:30:50,280 --> 01:30:52,120
You know, Terry's just
always been crazy.
2033
01:30:52,200 --> 01:30:54,080
You know, he's threatened me
with his sword all the time.
2034
01:30:54,160 --> 01:30:55,920
I'm just tired of
being scared, you know?
2035
01:30:56,000 --> 01:30:57,600
Hey, are you okay?
2036
01:30:57,960 --> 01:30:59,080
Yeah.
2037
01:31:01,240 --> 01:31:04,520
When the adrenaline rush passes,
I'm gonna be in a lot more pain.
2038
01:31:06,640 --> 01:31:08,200
I don't want you to think
I'm the kind of guy...
2039
01:31:08,280 --> 01:31:11,240
who tries to impress girls
with violence but...
2040
01:31:11,320 --> 01:31:13,000
that was kind of for you.
2041
01:31:13,880 --> 01:31:15,960
That was very brave of you.
2042
01:31:26,120 --> 01:31:27,440
You know, Emmit...
2043
01:31:27,920 --> 01:31:30,040
I can't believe I'm saying this.
2044
01:31:30,920 --> 01:31:34,680
You, my friend, are one crazy
son of a bitch, you know that?
2045
01:31:34,760 --> 01:31:36,600
You have no idea how scared I was.
2046
01:31:36,680 --> 01:31:38,440
All right.
Now, let's go get something to eat.
2047
01:31:38,520 --> 01:31:39,760
I'm starving.
2048
01:31:43,520 --> 01:31:46,600
Dear Wade, Ryan
and little tiny Emmit.
2049
01:31:46,680 --> 01:31:49,040
Thanks for sending the Cap'n Crunch.
2050
01:31:49,120 --> 01:31:51,080
Suddenly, I'm very popular in here.
2051
01:31:51,160 --> 01:31:53,800
Hey, Bob.
Give me some of that Cap'n Crunch...
2052
01:31:53,920 --> 01:31:56,200
or I'll stab you in the shower.
2053
01:31:57,760 --> 01:31:59,240
Just kidding.
2054
01:32:01,120 --> 01:32:03,760
I was glad to read
in your last correspondence...
2055
01:32:03,840 --> 01:32:06,960
that Filkins was shipped off
back to Hong Kong...
2056
01:32:07,040 --> 01:32:08,040
to be with his parents...
2057
01:32:08,120 --> 01:32:10,960
for breaking so many
underage drinking laws.
2058
01:32:11,160 --> 01:32:14,600
Now maybe high school can be
what you want it to be...
2059
01:32:14,680 --> 01:32:17,120
- instead of sucking rat nads.
- Oh, yeah.
2060
01:32:17,560 --> 01:32:19,120
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
2061
01:32:19,200 --> 01:32:22,520
As for me, every time I look at
where my pinky used to be...
2062
01:32:22,600 --> 01:32:25,760
I think of you boys
and our battles together.
2063
01:32:26,000 --> 01:32:27,520
It's kind of cool.
2064
01:32:27,600 --> 01:32:29,680
Luckily, they have
a work release program...
2065
01:32:29,760 --> 01:32:31,960
and they say I should
be able to land a job...
2066
01:32:32,040 --> 01:32:33,800
which excites me a great deal.
2067
01:32:33,880 --> 01:32:36,080
And speaking of exciting me
a great deal...
2068
01:32:36,160 --> 01:32:38,440
Miss Zachey and I
have been in contact.
2069
01:32:38,520 --> 01:32:40,680
I don't know why women
dig guys in prison...
2070
01:32:40,760 --> 01:32:42,280
but they really do.
2071
01:32:42,360 --> 01:32:44,800
On top of that, all I can say is...
2072
01:32:44,880 --> 01:32:47,840
I miss you guys
and will see you when I get out.
2073
01:32:47,920 --> 01:32:50,480
Which, thanks to the
currently lenient nature of...
2074
01:32:50,560 --> 01:32:52,640
the United States Army
deserting laws...
2075
01:32:52,720 --> 01:32:54,280
is in two days from now...
2076
01:32:54,360 --> 01:32:57,800
officially satisfying
my three-week sentence.
2077
01:32:57,880 --> 01:33:00,040
- Your brother, Bob Taylor.
- See you, Drillbit.
2078
01:33:00,120 --> 01:33:02,920
- AKA Drillbit.
- Later, bro.
2079
01:33:03,000 --> 01:33:06,360
AKA,
Alamo Taylor.
2080
01:33:06,440 --> 01:33:08,800
I still like the sound of that.
2081
01:33:14,400 --> 01:33:16,520
- There you are! Oh, my God.
- Drillbit!
2082
01:33:16,600 --> 01:33:17,960
- He's a free man!
- Come on, get in here!
2083
01:33:18,040 --> 01:33:19,760
Come here! Fall in!
2084
01:33:19,840 --> 01:33:21,160
Give me a hug!
2085
01:33:23,400 --> 01:33:25,080
Well, that's gonna keep me
smiling all day.
2086
01:33:25,160 --> 01:33:27,280
Yeah,
that's my buddy, Drillbit.
2087
01:33:27,360 --> 01:33:28,920
He's a cool guy.
We're in a fight right now.
2088
01:33:29,000 --> 01:33:30,800
This has been
the longest three weeks of my life.
2089
01:33:30,880 --> 01:33:31,880
I missed you, too.
2090
01:33:32,440 --> 01:33:34,320
- Feels good.
- You gonna shake the jail?
2091
01:33:34,400 --> 01:33:36,040
- It wasn't that bad.
- Come on, let's go.
2092
01:33:36,120 --> 01:33:38,800
You know, the guy in the next cell
taught me some Spanish.
2093
01:33:38,880 --> 01:33:41,600
Did you know abierto means "open"?
153060
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