Original subtitles

When I think back on the summer of 2016, I remember both the absolute best and

worst of times.

Kendra invited me to spend the weekend at a cabin up north.

I thought it was the time that our relationship was moving forward. That

until her parents showed up.

She'd invited them without telling me.

I was sharing a bedroom with my daughter.

She's a busy.

I want her to stay that way.

Just when I thought I might be getting laid, I was wrong.

The moment I saw Mrs. Sage, legs spread, moaning in ecstasy, I knew staying

still was going to be that much harder.

Because this was better than fun. This was real life.

How was your trip?

She invited her parents.

Yeah, it sucked.

Yeah, but I did get to see them bang, so there's that.

No way. Her parents still have sex?

Yeah, her mom's like super horny or some shit.

A fucking virgin with a horny mom.

Yeah.

Holy shit, you got the crap end of that deal, bro.

No shit, dickhead. How long's it been?

A year.

A year?

Dude, you need to dump this chick, man. What are you even getting out of this

relationship? She's a sweet girl, and I don't know, I've waited this long, so I

figure she's got to give it up at some point. No way, man.

These girls, they hold on to that virginity forever.

And even if you did bang her, who's to say it's even good? You might be waiting

around a whole year for bad sex.

It's not gonna be bad.

You're fucking a virgin.

Having sex with a virgin is a total crapshoot, dude. You better off be

her mom and really get an idea of what it's like. Like that's gonna happen.

It happened to me.

Oh, really? You fucked Kendra's mom?

I banged Stacey's mom.

Stacey, your ex?

Like, while y 'all were still together?

Yup. I don't believe you. Come on, man. I dropped off some books that she left

at my house while she was taking a midterm and her mom got crazy real

Does this intimidate you, Tyler?

What is that?

You don't know what this is?

That's like one of those back massager things, right?

No.

This is a guaranteed orgasm.

A clitoral stimulator, if you will.

I have been making a killing selling these to women in the community.

Now I'm getting death threats from their husbands.

Oh, wow.

The death threats, that's crazy.

Why would they be doing that?

Probably because their wives are laying around the house just enjoying endless

streams of orgasms that these wonderful devices are providing them.

The husbands feel like they're being replaced.

Oh. Would you mind if I gave one of these to Stacy?

You want to give one of those to my girlfriend, your daughter?

No.

No. Why would I care?

This is why I love you millennials so much.

You're so much more sexually progressive than Gen Xers.

Thank you.

Tyler, did you know that I haven't been fucked properly in years?

Oh, um, you know, Ms. Fitzbill, I really gotta get going because I have an exam

that I need to study for and that's... Women's sexuality just

isn't taken seriously, even though we're supposed to be equal.

Well, you know, I believe in equality.

You know, man and a woman, the same thing, equal. This is the reality for

This is the reality that women are dealing with.

Right. Well... Why shouldn't a woman be liberated?

If a woman can't have an orgasm with a man, she should be able to

pursue pleasure and...

And he means she can.

Sure. Tyler,

I want you to pretend for a moment that my daughter is not your girlfriend.

Thank you. All right. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. So now, do you find me attractive?

Yeah, of course.

A lot of guys do.

Really? Like who? Like every guy who looks at you or sees you.

Tyler, can I ask you another question?

What? Would it be alright if I kissed you?

Mrs. Foley, I don't think that's... I have not been kissed in years. It's been

so long.

And I could see how that might be, you know, lonely and stuff. I've forgotten

what it feels like to have...

A man's lips pressed against mine. Right.

I see how that... You get lonely and everything, but I don't think I'm the

person to be doing this. I hardly disagree.

Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. That's right.

Let me untie this.

Yeah.

No one's... No, no, no, no, no. She's gone. Yeah?

She's not coming back till a lot later. A lot later tonight.

She's doing volunteer work.

Oh, yes. Oh,

yes.

Oh, that's so good.

Oh,

yes.

God, you have such a nice body, Tyler. So do you. You're so handsome.

I got you.

Oh, yes.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

look at that.

You're so... You have such a nice body. You're so muscular.

Oh,

my goodness.

No, what about Stacy?

We have the house to ourselves.

Okay, yeah, we could just... Let me see what you have going on there.

It does feel pretty good. Yeah.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

out pretty wild and crazy.

When I was a lot younger, hence the tattoos.

Yeah. I have a lot of experience.

I think you could really benefit.

Really? Being with someone older, yeah.

Oh my god, it feels really good.

so good oh yeah oh my

god yeah i bet you don't get blowjobs like that from girls your age

but yeah you got her now oh

my god this one

feels so good

Oh, my God, yes.

Oh, my God, yes.

Is it okay if I hold your hair like that? Hold on.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Yeah. Oh, wow,

that feels really, really good.

I know it does.

Yeah.

It feels so good.

Oh my God.

Holy shit. That feels really, really good. Yeah.

Oh my God.

Oh my God. You're good at that.

Lots of experience, Tyler.

Yeah.

I feel like my legs are gonna start shaking.

That's a good thing.

Oh, I'm just getting a little more comfortable.

Oh,

Tyler.

Huh?

You've got to return the favor.

Come here.

Here, get down on your knees.

You're going to feel good now.

Like that?

Yes.

Very important that you

know how to control that.

I just love that youthfulness.

Oh, my goodness.

Right there.

Oh,

my God.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, my God. It's so hot.

Yeah, it is, isn't it?

Yeah, right there.

Go in.

Right there, yeah.

Right there. Stay there.

Stay there.

Yeah.

Holy God.

You're very naturally gifted in that area.

You think?

Yeah, I do.

Really? Yeah.

You know what? I shouldn't tell anyone that, you

know, as much as I want that to get out and everything, maybe you should just be

honest, you know?

Oh sure, I won't say a word.

So what do you do now?

I'm not done with you yet.

Yeah? Yeah.

I'll take this off.

You're so handsome, Tyler.

Thank you.

I wish I could go back in time and you could take me to prom.

What? Yeah.

Wouldn't that be hot?

It would be pretty hot.

Oh my God.

Did I get out of here as well? Yeah.

Oh my God, it takes a while.

Oh my

God, yeah.

Oh, God.

Oh, my

God. Oh,

my God. Oh, my God. Oh,

my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my

God,

yeah.

Holy shit, that feels really good.

Oh, my God.

Oh my god, I'm just going to take that.

Oh my god.

I can't believe we're doing this. Oh my god.

Oh my

god.

Oh my god. Oh

my god, yes.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Just really enjoy this moment.

Does that feel good?

Oh my god, it's so fucking good.

Holy shit.

Oh, there you go, baby.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.

Oh,

shit.

Oh.

Holy shit. It's so good.

Yeah.

Oh,

God.

Oh,

this is so... Oh,

my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh,

fuck.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God. Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.

That was really good.

Oh,

God.

I don't want you to come just yet.

What are we doing?

I'm turning around.

Do you ever have sex from this position?

What?

You know, me and your daughter kind of do things.

Yeah? Yeah.

There you go. Oh, Tyler.

Oh, there you go.

Oh,

that feels so good. Yeah, just like that?

Yeah.

Oh, my.

Like that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yes, you guys.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.

So good.

So good. Do you like this?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You all right?

Yes, I'm fantastic.

Yeah? Oh, Tyler.

Oh, come here.

Yeah? Come here. What? Excuse me.

You're going to know.

Grab it tight and shrug it.

Oh my god.

Come over here. Yeah? So we can both kind of lie down.

Here, I want to use this tool.

You know, you can also use it during sex. I'll show you.

Not on me though, right? No, no, no, on me. Oh, man.

Let me know if you can feel this a little bit. Oh, I can, yeah. Does it

good? It does.

This is great.

Oh, my God. I feel so good.

Oh,

my God.

Oh,

my God.

Holy shit, man. I feel so good.

Oh, my God.

Holy.

Holy shit, I feel so good.

You're so cute.

You're sitting right there staring at me.

Holy fuck.

Holy

fuck

me.

Holy fuck.

Holy Oh

Oh

Oh

Oh my god, we don't want to come free, okay, yes, yes, oh,

oh, oh, oh my god, yes, oh my

god, holy shit, fuck,

I, I, I, I'm getting into my senses, I, I, you're, uh,

my girlfriend, you're, fuck, what, uh, my daughter?

Your girlfriend, Stacy.

Stacy! Oh, no.

She's, um... She's not coming home till later tonight, and I won't say anything.

Yeah? Yeah, of course not.

It's so awkward.

It's really awkward.

We'll keep this between us.

Well, like, this isn't awkward, but what could come of it could be awkward.

Yeah. Yeah. It could potentially be awkward, but we shouldn't say anything.

should avoid the potential awkwardness. Right. I'll just let you know when...

I'm home alone, if it ever works out.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Dude, that didn't happen.

Swear to God.

Stacey ever find out?

No, man, that's the great thing about these old chicks. They're horny and

they're not talkers, man. I don't care about talking about how many guys they

bang. These old bags are just happy that they're being banged in the first

place.

Look, all right, I'm not saying getting with Kendra's mom is the right thing to

do, okay?

I'm just saying you have to get laid, bro. It was seriously one of the most

frustrating weeks of my life, until opportunity knocked.

Lucas, what are you doing here?

My mom said you guys hung out earlier this afternoon.

She asked if you'd want to maybe go back up to that cabin this weekend.

And so, I joined Kendra and her family up north again.

Half expecting the trip to be as blue ball inducing as the first.

You ready?

Yeah, let's do this.

It was only the second time I'd ever been alone with Mrs. H. I was

comfortable. Spent the afternoon laughing, talking.

It felt easy in the way it never was with Kendra.

Ramon and Kendra are getting tickets to Hamilton tonight.

Do you want to go?

Not really.

Looks like it's just you and me.